Defend the Sacrament of Marriage from the State of Texas
On March 26-27, the Texas Catholic Conference of Bishops will be in Austin, Texas, talking with legislators to advocate for the …
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2024-03-28 03:11:40
On March 26-27, the Texas Catholic Conference of Bishops will be in Austin, Texas, talking with legislators to advocate for the …
source
REASON FOR SIGNING
Her diagnoses should be annulled and the people who have successfully abducted babies through her misdiagnosis should be informed.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsGecy50YjE
www.change.org/p/investigation-into-forensic-custody-evaluator-dr-alissa-sherry-and-legal-consensus
TSBEP Alissa Sherry Legal Consensus Psychologist Complaint SD – TBHEC Texas Family Courts – Gloria Canseco, Darrel Spinks, Alissa Sherry, Legal Consensus
family-court-corruption.com/tag/alissa-sherry/
TSBEP, Custody Evaluation, Forensic Psychology, Texas Family Courts, TBHEC, Gloria Canseco, Darrel Spinks, Alissa Sherry, Legal Consensus
#TSBEP, #CustodyEvaluation, #ForensicPsychology, #TexasFamilyCourts, #TBHEC
“Imagine every other weekend, your life and family are put on hold, hindered and incomplete – that’s life with divorce and visitation.”
It’s easily one of the most frustrating and difficult situations in divorced families with children where co-parenting is not an option. And, unless you live this life, chances are you don’t understand.
You won. You were awarded full custody and now you are in charge and everything just goes your way, right? Wrong!
First, winning shouldn’t be a term in child custody, and neither should be awarded.
When my ex-husband took me to court for full custody – I was sickened with worry, stress, potential heartbreak, and fear.
Basically, I am expected to go into a courtroom, with a stranger whose sole purpose is to judge me, going against the only person in the world who gains a sick satisfaction out of manipulating, emotionally and mentally breaking me down and hates me for sport. And then, convince this judge in a limited time frame that not only am I a good mother but that I am a better mother than their father is a good father.
That is essentially what it comes down to; who is the better parent for the children. And, one wins, and one loses – but truthfully in our case, one wins and three lose, either way. There are a handful of days in my life that I can remember in vivid detail – and the day I “fought” for full custody is one of those days I still play back regularly.
While that day is not really the point of this post, I will just say a couple of things that are relevant. The words “full custody awarded to the mother” echoing in the half-empty courtroom were the loudest, emptiest, angriest and most relieving words I had heard up to that point.
That morning I came prepared to fight for my life, for my children and I was not going to lose them. Thankfully for me, I didn’t lose them. But, their father did, and looking back now you can see that day was the beginning of the quit.
The beginning of all the “I can’t make it’s”, the schedule conflicts, the manipulation tactics, reverse psychology and narcissism that, we live with today. And, when someone else sees it or hears it, they say the same thing – “don’t let your children go there, stop the visits” and I have to explain that is not how it works.
There are a set of unspoken (but written) rules in divorce decrees that have a trailing visitation order. If you are the custodial parent, you are expected to encourage and foster a relationship with the non-custodial parent and the children you share between you.
This includes their family and friends as well. You are expected to not speak ill of the other parent or withhold visitations out of pure distaste of the other parent. Sports, extracurricular activities, school events etc. are supposed to be avoided if at all possible, during their weekend, and if they do land on the other parents’“time” they are not required to take them – because it is their time. Their time, not your child’s time.
You learn to maneuver around the schedule, and you do your best with what you get.
There were a few civil standbys when the selfish stubbornness kept my children from attending games simply because their father didn’t feel like going in the beginning. Those days sucked for everyone but him, I’d ultimately have to leave without the children, the kids would miss their games/events and he would essentially win.
The officers didn’t enjoy it either, they know the situation, they see it, but they can’t get involved and most don’t want to. It started with school events and games, and then slowly oozed into birthday parties, family events, holidays etc.
The first time I had to tell my child they couldn’t attend something because it was important to spend this time with their father it was okay – but the more frequent they became – the harder it was. And, not because they shouldn’t want to spend time with their father – but because he refused to spend time with them doing the things they enjoyed.
Co-parenting with a narcissist is like being the tin man from the wizard of oz, having motion sickness, on the downward spiral of a roller coaster, with a loose harness, after eating ice cream and 5 corn dogs – doing the tango with a peg leg and an eye patch all the while sewing back together and re-stuffing down feathered pillows your dog chewed up and scattered throughout the back forty – it’s freaking difficult!!
Not everyone is able to join the elusive and all-inclusive co-parenting club, no matter how hard they try or pray. And, people don’t register the impact this has on your family’s life. What looks to friends and family as a minor schedule change, is an asteroid headed for earth sure to destroy life as we know it.
I always love when someone asks if I would like them to call dad and tell him he needs to bring them to an event – as if that would do anything?! He doesn’t care, plain and simple and there is nothing anyone can do to change that than God, and he isn’t a believer, so… ya!
So, what does a parent do when you really have no control or say every other weekend? We don’t. We literally don’t do anything. We found that we stopped doing things. We stopped making plans. We stopped inviting people over or going out as a family – because now someone is gone.
And, truthfully that hindered the weekends the kids were home to because we wanted to be with them, so we would not do anything, ever. Plus, everyone always asks “where are the kids? Why aren’t the kids here? They get out of everything” etc.
And, sometimes I want to scream “NO THEY DON’T GET OUT OF ANYTHING ACTUALLY, THEY DIDN’T CHOOSE THIS LIFE, WE COULDN’T FIX OUR “ISSUES” AND NOW THEY ARE INNOCENT BYSTANDERS WHO ARE PAYING THE PRICE! THEY ARE WITH THEIR OTHER PARENT WHO DOESN’T GIVE ON SHIT ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT OR NEED, AND THEY’RE MISSING OUT ON EVERYTHING AND WE ARE HERE JUST TRYING TO NOT FOCUS ON THAT FACT, THEY NEED YOU VERY MUCH!”
But, just as much as people don’t understand, we can’t expect them too either.
They can’t just decide – there is a COURT ORDER that requires them to go. It is not a suggestion, it’s a requirement. The only way they are allowed to miss or skip a visit is if they get permission from that parent – or go back to court.
Which makes our situation all the more complicated because my daughter did just that – she requested through the court to not be required to visit her father anymore when she was old enough. He will never tell this story because no one wants to say the part that makes themselves look bad – but he had to okay it – which he did.
So, we have one child who is still court ordered and one who is permitted to not attend. Navigate that one…
As a parent, a normal parent, you want what is best for your children. It is your job to not only provide for them but teach the importance of opportunity, achievement, dedication, commitment, work ethic all while loving, encouraging and supporting them.
When you have one parent who is against every part of these – how are you supposed to make it work? We have our children in 4H, FFA, sports, etc. to teach them the importance of responsibility, the importance of teamwork and working hard for the things they want in life.
But every other weekend – it’s a headache. And for my son, every Wednesday too.
My son was excited to sign up for Track, which he has never done, and to be honest, I was slightly dreading it because track meets drag on all day. But I was supportive because it was something new, something he was interested in and running keeps him active – so heck ya! go for it bud!
Then Wednesday comes around and he is gloomy because his dad already questioned him last week if he was going to get his Wednesday visits back now that basketball was over – and he didn’t have the heart to tell his dad he signed up for track. So, now he stands in front of me at 6:30 am and has to choose – either track and telling his dad or quitting track and going to his visits.
Our family is serious about sticking to a commitment, once you start a sport and the fee is paid, you have to finish it out.
But I can’t force that in this situation, so I tell him my thoughts and that I support him in whatever he chooses.
On the car ride to work, I am having a serious discussion with God and I get a text from my son saying he chose to give up track, so he doesn’t upset his dad – and I am equal parts heartbroken and pissed. He asked if I was mad and for the first time I responded with the truth about his dad, “No, I am not mad at you for wanting to not upset your dad, I’m mad that your father has put you in the position where you care more about letting him down than letting yourself down – and I can’t fix that and it breaks my heart for you.”
And, that is the truth folks – we are stuck a lot of the time, and we aren’t supposed to say the other parent is bad, or wrong, but damn it – he is wrong, and it is not fair. But as the repairer, I called his coach and explained the situation and we were able to come up with a plan for him to still practice 4 of the days and remain on the team and make visits with dad.
That’s what we do I guess, we rearrange, we maneuver around and come up with other options to still afford them the normalcy of childhood, opportunities, and a healthy life – even if we are the only ones doing it consistently.
So, the next time you see a blended family jigsawing their way through life – maybe you’ll understand a little better that they are simply attempting to navigate a different normalcy.
The post This Is What It’s Like To Co-Parent With a Narcissist appeared first on Divorced Moms.
Narcissists fight DIRTY.
In battle with a narcissist, whilst trying to get resolution, sanity or even a scrap of decency, it may seem like all you get is MORE traumatisation.
Narcissists can feel IMPOSSIBLE to defeat.
But … this isn’t the case.
In today’s Thriver TV episode, I am going to hand you the REAL way to bring a narcissist to justice.
I’m really hoping that today’s Thriver TV will wake you up, in a good way. In a way that gives you more than just hope. In a way that grants you the True Solution to bringing a narcissist to justice.
This is important because many people believe this is impossible to achieve. But truly it’s not, and after watching this episode I know you will understand how to do this.
In many ways, this video is an extension of my last video, which was about how to protect ourselves as highly sensitive people. This one takes this further by putting an end to a narcissist lining us up – and spinning the tables once and for all.
Today we’ll break this down, one step at a time, leading all the way to the revealing of the number 1 tip regarding bringing a narcissist to justice, which myself and so many other NARP members have achieved … powerfully.
Okay, now before I go any further into the unravelling of this, make sure to subscribe to my channel if you haven’t already, and leave a like if you enjoy this video.
Okay … let’s start, with the first necessary understanding for today.
Many of us struggle or have struggled to bring a narcissist to justice.
The first common stumbling block is that we don’t want to hit people hard and hurt them, it’s not in our nature. Especially someone we wanted to or once deeply loved.
Yet, we need to realise, when dealing with a narcissist, that there is no middle ground. It’s simply stand up in full power, rights and truth, or you WILL be taken down.
The other sticking point is that we have been scared regarding what the retaliation and nasty possibilities will be. However, narcissists are not powerful or even well-armed. They are bullies who use another person’s fear against them. When we aren’t as yet anchored into our power, trusting ourselves and Life to deliver powerful and solid results, we hand our power away with fear. This is where narcissists thrive, able to use this against us to their advantage.
There are many martial artists who know that one of the most effective ways to defeat an opponent is to use an assailant’s energy against them. Steven Seagal in his movies, with Aikido, demonstrated this tactic perfectly
To discover the answer of how to bring a narcissist to justice begins with understanding exactly how they bring us undone. How do narcissists control us and hurt us?
The answer is: they find our weaknesses and exploit them.
Things like struggling to honour ourselves with setting boundaries and limits and not wanting to rock the boat …
And, being able to be manipulated through guilt and over responsibility for others to the detriment of ourselves …
And, being so attached to needing this person to love and approve of us that we continue trying to assert our goodness and loyalty no matter how badly we are being damaged …
Or, being empathetic and compassionate toward someone we should not be continually granting another chance to …
And the list goes on and on.
Narcissists find these gaps, these unhealed parts within us (our unresolved inner wounds not allowing us as yet to honour ourselves healthily) and twist and turn these parts of ourselves to fulfil their agendas.
They play on these parts, belt them or withhold from them, depending on what manipulation tactic will yield the greatest results.
I have talked over and over again (just as I had to firmly realise myself) about the necessity to heal these parts within, to close up the gaps that the narcissist can continue to target, hook us in and keep abusing us with.
It’s only when we find, release and heal these inner parts of ourselves up to being self-honouring adults on the inside, that we no longer are trapped by narcissists.
It’s so important to understand there is a necessity to be solid on the inside (which NARP can powerfully help you become) before stepping into the ring to take down a narcissist.
As a result of doing the inner work, you have a powerful opportunity to become ‘anti-fear’. Meaning you are continually meeting and uplevelling your triggers on the inside and therefore the narcissist can no longer emotionally trap you and derail you.
Because of not reacting and handing over any emotional attention, you have stopped granting the narcissist narcissistic supply.
So many things start to shift from this place; you can go free of the notion that you need the narcissist to do anything for you to get a positive outcome. Rather, you have started anchoring into your own being to begin generating this reality yourself.
There is no more fruitlessly trying to make deals with them, hoping for them to come around to your way of thinking, and you cease hoping that they can be reached with compassion, fairness or empathy, or start acting like a normal and reasonable human being. Additionally, you are way past any yearning or heartbreak for the person you wish the narcissist could be, and simply see it for the Truth, which is:
Your journey with the narcissist, including this pivotal time, of incredible stress and needing to find and anchor into your True Self and True Power is for this reason –
Fulfilling your soul contract with this person to take your evolution to self-love, self-respect and self-honour. Which includes healing yourself beyond the comfort zones of fear, hiding and shame, to rise into standing fully, calmly and clearly in your rights and truth and openly walking them powerfully.
It’s important to understand that narcissists in battle do not seek what non-disordered people do. They don’t want resolution and solution so that they can get on with their lives. There is no life for a narcissist without narcissistic supply and with peace and harmony in its place.
They feed and thrive off pain and drama and knowing that they can hurt you and get attention from you. The longer this goes on for, the more the narcissist’s ego receives its vindication.
So here are the three choices for you in order of less preferable to most preferable.
All of this just grants the narcissist a feed that energises them to drag it out, to keep you hooked in, and your suffering going.
By using these ‘play it safe’ tactics, you are bypassing your own healing, evolution and uplevelling and continuing to hand your power away. A likely outcome is that you will be locked in stagnation and ongoing battle with the narcissist with no end in sight.
Before I knew how to stand up to narcissists and win against them, this was the choice I took. I let everything go to save my life.
Absolutely it can mean a narcissist loses all physical and practical holds over you (you still have the energetic one to heal yourself from), but it also means that you may have to restart your life possibly from scratch (which is possible – many Thrivers including myself have achieved it).
It’s also important to understand that no matter what you grant the narcissist to appease them or try to do the right thing, ease your own guilt, or finally get them to recognise that you are a good person … according to them, you will always be the villain, smeared to all and sundry, who destroyed their life.
Without any of the old fears and inner programs that were derailing you, you can completely cut off narcissistic supply and disempower the narcissist, and then hit them at their weakest point (which I will explain to you shortly.)
If you choose number 3 and do it the right way, you could defeat the narcissist quickly and receive more than you thought would be your result.
This happens REALLY because all of life celebrates and rewards powerful soul graduations.
The absolute number 1 tip to bring a narcissist to justice is finding their weakest point and exposing it.
A narcissist’s weakest point is this:
Lack of integrity.
Narcissists are delusional, entitled and disordered. Their version of reality is not one that the rest of the world accepts as true.
In every narcissist’s behaviour is lies, loose actions based on egoic hubris, false versions and skewered realities.
They leave themselves open to the exposure of this where they drastically lose credibility and power.
Here are some examples:
I really want you to know, when you have no fear of delivering everything, within your rights that is the truth and fully expose it CALMLY and CLEARLY without being emotionally derailed, then False Selves crumble.
It’s a narcissist’s biggest nightmare, just as it is a vampire when a whopping great light is shone on them.
This is the absolute formula to bring a narcissist to justice.
If you are prepared to do what it takes to evolve to this level of power and True Self, you will become a force impervious to False Selves. This is the truth that countless Thrivers in the NARP community have achieved.
What happened for most of us is the narcissist capitulated. They let go, grant you what you want and exit the scene. They must – they cannot bear being irrelevant to you, treated like a nobody and exposed as their disordered self.
I know this path is not for the faint-hearted. It’s not something we can attempt from our mind, born from fear, resentment, retaliation or righteousness. If you try to bring a narcissist to justice from an inner emotional resonance of victimisation, you will only receive more victimised results which will traumatise you further.
Your actions must come from a choice of personal evolution and rising into it as your greatest life mission. It can’t be for ANY other reason if it is to be authentic.
There is also the need to see this opportunity, to heal and rise, as a gift and a blessing.
Right there is the most powerful force you can harness.
If you are serious about seeing an end to your holocaust, and if you are bravely ready to stand up and get this done, I will help you.
Today’s the day it can begin, right here by signing up to my free 16-day course, which was the starting point for many NARPers who brought the narcissist to justice. To get started click this link.
And, if you liked this video, click the Like button, and if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. Also share with your communities, so that we can help people awaken to these truths.
And as always, I’d love to answer your comments and questions below.
REASON FOR SIGNING
I’ve witnessed the corruption in family courts and have experienced first hand the traumatic effects that this can have on children and their families.
The Texas Family Law Foundation: LOBBYISTS FOR LAYWERS; NOT friends of the family. Part 8 of 8 In this last of eight videos, …
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Still recovering…
Contra Costa parents successfully gathered enough signatures to place three judges
on a recall ballot, tripling the threat to the security of complicit judges who have been separating and bankrupting families in California’s family courts for the past two decades..Joined by children who are the product of divorce in Silicon Valley, activists are turning their attention back to Santa Clara County to focus on Judge James Towery, Judge Joshua Weinstein, Judge Stuart Scott, Judge Cynthia Lie, Judge Lori Pegg and Judge Roberta Hayashi who have pandered to corrupt lawyers and loyalties over families they are elected to serve.
Weinstein , who has returned to the family court after corrupting criminal cases is a new focus of social media hit pieces.
Check out this link and guest Q post.
www.blogger.com/u/1/blogger.g?blogID=4920646381212958787#editor/target=post;postID=6491986878894969875;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=0;src=postname
San Jose, February 28, 2019-
Honesty, fair play, search for truth, unbiased application of enacted law, are among the “must have” qualities of a American Judge when they make binding, life-altering decisions on U.S. citizen’s life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.
Complaints against the California judges, and in particularly the Santa Clara County judges, supervised by the California Judicial Council, have grown in recent past.. Lack of transparency, for example; no recording of court proceedings, judicial immunity, tampering of records, judicial misconduct tactics, cover ups, et al., renders judicial misconduct almost invisible.
However, public has grown increasingly frustrated and began documenting and sharing with the world the crisis of judicial corruption. For example, recent Santa Clara County public filings reveal uncontroverted facts supporting Judge Joshua Weinstein’s misconduct, corrupt acts, fraud on the court, creation of false record, et al.
It is such gross judicial misconduct that led to California State Auditor being asked to audit of the hollow California judicial oversight body, the state’s Commission on Judicial Performance
Ironically public had previously complained that Judge Joshua Weinstein routinely cozy up lawyers and “He is especially unfair to self-represented parties” see www.therobingroom.com/california/Judge.aspx?id=22514
Please direct your comments and queries to drainjudicialswamp@gmail.com– news source for collecting complaints on Judge Weinstein.
Recall Judge Program Contact : JohnQPublic@Gmail.com