career ladder

How to Get Back On the Career Ladder after a Divorce

career ladder

 

You may have decided to take a break from your career while you were married because your spouse’s salary was more than enough to support your family. And you probably never imagined that you two would ever split.

However, after years of being a stay-at-home mom looking after the kids and mastering the art of being a “domestic goddess’, you might feel like you’ve lost your corporate mojo and don’t really know where to start getting back into the career saddle.

Getting Back On the Career Ladder after a Divorce

The following guide was designed for divorced women like yourself who want to get back on the career ladder but don’t know where to start. Whether you’re going back to work because you want a fresh start, a new challenge or because you need to in order to support yourself, the following information should be very helpful to your quest.

Take stock of your skills and expertise

Start your journey back to the top by evaluating all the skills and expertise that you have to offer. This includes work experience that you have acquired from previous jobs and any professional qualifications that you may have. Consider the things that you excel at the most as well as tasks that you truly enjoy. This should give you a good idea of the type of profession that you want to explore as you revitalize your career and reinvent your life.

You might find that you still enjoy the career you were in before you got married and are keen to get back into it, or maybe you discovered another aspect of yourself and have fallen out of love with your previous profession. If that’s the case then you can always explore a different role but within the same profession or re-launch your career in a completely different field. Whatever you decide, be sure to keep an open mind and take advantage of the fact that you have a chance to start on a clean slate again.

Learn how to write a resume

Learn how to write a resume by Googling “resume templates”. This will give you an idea of how your own resume should look and how you should format it when you start on the first draft. You can also get in touch with a local recruitment company that will help you to further polish your resume to fit your preferred profession.

Practice for interviews

You’ve been out of the job market for a while so your interview skills are probably rusty, to say the least. Get interview practice by playing pretend with your friends and family. Or even practice in front of the mirror or with your kids to get your confidence back. That way, you’ll be much more comfortable with the process when you eventually start going for interviews.

Network

Start networking by joining a local networking group where you can make contacts, meet like-minded people and perhaps even prospective employers. Networking on a regular basis can also build your confidence so that it’s easier to get out there when the time comes.

Networking also involves contacting past colleagues whom you might find are occupying higher positions than they were when you left your job. If you have a friend or family member that’s in recruitment, don’t hesitate to let them know about your ambition to get back to work. Ask them to keep an ear out for job vacancies in the field of work that you’re interested in to help you get referrals.

Spread the word

Tell the people in your life that you’re looking for work in a particular field. Or take it one step further and tell a stranger! You never know who you’re standing next to in a queue and sometimes an opportunity is just one “hello” away while waiting in a line at Starbucks.

Hire a job coach

A job coach will provide you valuable advice on which jobs you should consider based on your skills, qualifications, and passions. They’ll also offer information related to the jobs that you’re interested in, including the pay, the number of hours involved, and more. This information will help to determine whether or not each option is a good fit for you and ultimately help you to find the perfect position.

Get a makeover

Some women find that revamping their look gives them a confidence boost. Getting a makeover might just be what you need to improve your self-esteem and make you feel more confident about getting yourself out there. This could mean getting a new hairstyle, going for mani-pedis, working out more regularly and even updating your wardrobe by hiring a stylist.

Believe in yourself

The only thing standing between you and career re-launch success is a belief in yourself. There’s no need for you to feel insecure about your abilities just because you’re a little rusty. You were probably amazing at your job before you got married and had kids. There’s no reason why you can’t excel and enjoy professional success again. So believe in yourself and put yourself out there. You won’t get anywhere if you don’t start so, put all the tips we’ve given you to the test and get started!

The post How to Get Back On the Career Ladder after a Divorce appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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credit during divorce

10 Tips For Protecting Your Credit During Divorce

credit during divorce

 

Divorce isn’t pleasant for either party. While dealing with the emotions surrounding the divorce, the idea of entering the dating scene again, or starting a new life as a single person, financial issues can seem like an even larger problem to manage.

Don’t let finances be overlooked as you handle the relationship aspects of the divorce. When you separate or divorce your spouse, you need to protect your money and financial future as soon as possible. Here are actionable ways that you can keep your finances and credit intact during the divorce process.

Protecting Your Credit During Divorce

1. Close all joint accounts

If you and your spouse hold joint bank accounts, you’re equally responsible for them, especially any debts. Don’t risk your spouse accumulating more debt or making late payments. Because both of you are named on an account, both of your credit scores will be impacted by actions on the account itself.

2. Call your Creditors

Once your joint accounts have been closed, you should contact any remaining banks, lenders, or credit card companies about the divorce. Many institutions will require a certified letter. When you speak with the creditors, request a current account statement and let them know that you will not be liable for any debts after the date on the certified letter. You should also request the account be set as inactive. This will prevent any new charges from being made. Let them know that once any balances are paid in full that you would like the account to be closed entirely.

3. Request Monthly Statements

For any accounts that are currently outstanding, request that monthly statements be sent directly to you. You should also request this for accounts that are not able to be closed or accounts that will be remaining open. Keep an eye on the accounts and track that payments are being made on time.

4. Make a Decision about Owned Properties

Often after a divorce, women want to stay in the home especially if there are children in the picture. Depending on the housing market where you live, it may or may not be a great decision to keep the marital home. If the market where you live has consistently appreciating value, you may want to continue to build equity in the home. If you can afford to stay in the home and the market it good, you should consider doing so. However, if there is a large amount of debt in the home and you cannot afford it, it is more of a liability than an asset to you.

5. Keep Your Contact Information Up To Date

If you do move following the divorce, be sure that you submit a change of address request with the post office. You’ll want to ensure that your bills, financial statements, and any other important documents are being sent to your new residence. Missing payments on bills because you didn’t change your address is an overlooked way to damage your credit quickly.

6. Don’t Spend Money to Get Revenge

It’s common for people going through a divorce to try and “get revenge” on their ex-spouse by spending huge amounts of money on shopping sprees. This tactic will usually come back to haunt you financially or even in the divorce proceedings. Try to maintain your normal spending habits and get control of any debts that you have. A shopping spree during a divorce will likely be marked by a judge as marital debt and order the individual who did the shopping to be responsible for it.

7. Think before you use your credit cards

If you’re still using credit cards during your divorce, be wise about how you use them. Try to pay all of your credit cards on time, or at least make the minimum payments towards the balance. Don’t max out credit cards if you have large legal bills or other expenses that are divorce-related. A large portion of your credit score is based upon the credit card debt that you have. An individual with a high credit score will have low credit card debt. You’ll want to avoid any of your accounts from going to collections. For more information on removing collections from your credit report, read this blog post from Crediful.

8. Monitor Your Credit Reports

Once your divorce is completely finalized, you should continue to monitor your credit report. Check for any errors that might arise from the time you were married. There are many online options to request a free annual copy of your credit report.

If you believe you may be at risk for identity theft or your ex attempting to open joint accounts after the divorce is finalized, you should also consider utilizing a credit monitoring service, especially if your ex knows your social security number and other personal data.

9. Put a hold on any of your credit files

If you’re concerned about your ex going on his own revenge streak, you should put a hold on your credit accounts or a fraud alert. By doing so, any action that is made on your credit accounts will freeze your credit files and prevent your ex from opening new credit card accounts in your name or using your social security number.

10. Utilize civil court actions if necessary

Even if your ex was ordered to pay specific debts when your divorce was finalized, if they don’t pay you’ll want to pay off those debts or risk damaging your credit. While this doesn’t really seem like a fair situation, you can try and recoup the money by taking your ex to civil court for not following the court order.

After a divorce, both parties typically just want to move on personally and financially. If you can take action as soon as possible, you can mitigate potential credit and debt problems from adding more stress to an already stressful situation.

The post 10 Tips For Protecting Your Credit During Divorce appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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financial house in order

How I Got My Financial House In Order After An Unwanted Divorce

financial house in order

 

Tax time. As I dropped by the post office to get the right postage for the thick packet of homework to send to my accountant, I smiled to myself, confident that I had my financial house in order. It brought back memories of all the effort it took to dig a new foundation years ago, after my divorce.

I no longer get weak-kneed and shaky thinking about those months leading to the divorce. The request for a divorce came as a surprise to me. So busy with family and career that I hadn’t been attending to the finer points of our family finances—that was something my trusted husband did.

Evidently, I wasn’t attending to the marriage either.

Rather, I was full throttle busy but confident that it wouldn’t be long before we would have an opportunity to do a reset as a couple once our last child left for college.  My husband was on another page. When the last child was launched, he would also start his new chapter. And, it didn’t include me.

The shock of divorce rattled me, and I don’t rattle easily. In fact, calm is my middle name. My career track steady and upward for the entirety of our marriage, I was now close to the top of my field, responsible for business lines that were valued at tens of millions of dollars. “On the rise” is what people would tell my husband about me at the rare work event of mine that we attended together.

I wonder now if that message didn’t send alarm bells to him—a signal that we were out of sync. After all, he had married a younger woman still in grad school with no prospects, and as he was older, his career was already launched. Perhaps neither of us took stock of what that would mean later.

Silly me, I thought we were happy and about to enter that golden time in a couple’s marriage when the burden of children is lifted, careers are set, and a second honeymoon is around the corner as empty nesters take the time to find one another again.

Some must find divorce a relief after years of strife, or abuse.

I found it confusing, embarrassing and disorienting. It took me months to feel myself again and to assure myself that the kids were ok—or as ok as they could be with their world shaken. But they had new worlds to explore, going off to college was a happy and understood rite of passage.

Divorce at middle-age is not. Although more “gray” adults are divorcing now, it still hurts me when I see a couple that is celebrating their 40 plus wedding anniversary. Surrounded by children and grand-children, toasting one another with loving looks, sometimes sharing a truth about having weathered a storm or two, but toughing it out. Good for them.

Life is hard. So, when you find someone to hang onto, it is a blessing. When you lose that person, it is difficult, regardless of the circumstances. After the initial shock wore off, and I adjusted to the fact that my husband of twenty years plus didn’t want to be married to me anymore, I wanted to get out of the marriage as quickly as possible. During that period of deep hurt, I realized how little I knew about our finances.

Pulling papers together, going through correspondence, talking to bankers, and finally, my own attorney, I was overwhelmed. I needed help. Someone to take charge of my funds—once I settled out— invest them, and work with me on managing them wisely. I also needed a CPA to help me with tax planning, short and long term.

I was startled by what I didn’t know. 

It’s not like I was a princess who had waited for her prince charming to come along and rescue her. I was a smart woman who had navigated to a high-profile career with a great future ahead of me. But I had not paid attention to the essentials of investing for my own future. Why would I? My future was intertwined with my husband’s, and he was looking out for both of us, right?

I felt powerless and knew I had to take control to conquer that fear. And, I did. But it took years, and a small village, to get me to a place that feels comfortable.

How I Got My Financial House In Order

Fortunately, through the referral from a trusted friend, I found a broker who was indispensable when it came time to receiving my settlement monies and guiding me through the decision making on where to make investments. Another friend referred me to her tax accountant who turned out to be heaven-sent. To this day, she has my back and has recently helped me through the intricacies of college savings for my grandchildren.

As I leave the post office, I realize that my comfort now is due to the fact that I educated myself, took advice from trusted friends, and brick by brick learned to build my financial house on solid ground.

My lesson was learned the hard way. Married couples are partners for financial planning and the tasks should not be delegated to one partner only.  Quarterly meetings to review your financials and make adjustments as needed, with both partners conversant and supportive of the financial plan is the best practice. Things happen, and when they do, the last thing you want is to be distracted about is your financial security.

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survive financially as a single mom

3 Ways Single Moms Can Survive Financially

survive financially as a single mom

In the end, there are really only two things to focus on if you want to survive financially as a single mom: decreasing expenses and increasing income. The more you do both of those things, the better off you’ll be.

 

Whether you’ve always managed the household checkbook or this is your first time, the financial struggles of being a single mom can feel overwhelming. Stop, breath, and start with these simple steps to getting your finances under control.

3 Tips For Surviving Financially As a Single Mom

1. Stop incurring new debt.  If you’re in the red hole, the first step is to simply stop digging deeper. It’s just not possible to get out of debt if you keep creating more. It might be easier for a while to just stop using credit cards in order to not incur any new debt. Every day that you don’t add to your debt is another day closer to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. If you find that you can’t get to the end of the month without incurring debt, Step 2 below will help.

2. Budget every dollar. I know, it’s a dirty word to many, but I turned my financial life around when I got serious about budgeting. One of the reasons we find ourselves out of control financially is because we don’t have clarity on what goes in and what goes out. Even if you think you know, you never really do until you track your income and expenses and account for every dollar. Mint is a free app that can help, but I find YNAB to be worth every penny (plus, you get a free month trial to then budget how to pay for the app).

If apps don’t appeal, there’s always pen and paper, an Excel spreadsheet, or even a Word doc to get you started. You can round up to the nearest dollar, but you may be surprised on just where those dollars have been going! It will help you figure out where you really can cut back, and where you can’t. YNAB uses the zero-based budgeting method (this method can be used with or without the program) and the concept is, you can only budget the dollars you have. If you’ve been budgeting by assuming your income and expenses, it will take some adjustment to get used to this new method, but it will be well worth it to get you on a more solid financial footing.

3. Beware the Single Mom Guilt.  I have been there. I have felt so guilty about my marital status that I’ve spent more than I could afford, trying to overcompensate. But after using my tax refund to pay off credit card debt, and then building up debt, and then paying it off, and then doing it again, I finally had enough. And I realized that throwing money at the problem wasn’t really helping.

The more financially stable we became, the less stressed I was. The less stressed I was, the happier my girls were. The happier my girls were, the more we could simply enjoy being together and not have to spend so much money on cable, on outings, on activities they weren’t really enjoying. Instead, my oldest daughter helped out at the dance studio to get a break on tuition.

My youngest daughter shops at Goodwill when she needs new leggings. We come up with solutions together when we hit financial blocks. And if you feel bad for saying, I can’t afford it, try saying, “sorry, that’s not in our budget right now” instead. A small difference, sure, but it takes the focus off the negative part, and reminds both you and your child that you have financial goals.

Of course, personal finance is always personal, and you will have to make some difficult decisions, but try to remember, that’s true for most of us! Divorced or not, kids or not, we all can only work with what we actually have. And you may find that there simply isn’t enough. If things are that tight, you may need to look into increasing your income.

I ended up going back to school once it became clear to me that I was never going to make it on my salary as an Assistant. So I went back to school, got my Paralegal certificate, and got promoted. I took out some student loans and was able to get reimbursed through my employer’s educational assistance program for some of it. Thankfully, my interest rate on my student loan is low, but I am currently throwing any and all “extra” money into paying that off. So far, I’m paid a year ahead.

If going back to school is not an option, consider freelancing. Please do NOT pay for any “work from home” opportunities. But there are things like ride-sharing services, babysitting, and e-commerce sites. I have a friend who has done very well with her Etsy shop!

In the end, there are really only two things to focus on when it comes to managing your money: decreasing expenses and increasing income. The more you do both of those things, the better off you’ll be.

Our family has gone from surviving to thriving, and I can trace it back almost to the day that I was absolutely done with the paycheck-to-paycheck struggle. I am now a month ahead financially, and having that breathing room definitely, helps when we get hit with a new financial problem.

I am out of credit card debt completely, and we even went to New York this spring to see Hamilton, all completely paid for in cash. (I do use credit cards again, but only for the rewards, and I have auto pay set up to pay the balance in full every month so that I don’t pay any interest.)

It’s true that money doesn’t buy happiness. It’s also true that money can’t buy the previous, married, 2-parent household, either.

It’s also our job to teach our children about personal finance. As with everything else, they will learn these lessons by our actions, and not our words. If you want your children to have a healthy relationship with money, it’s time to have your own healthy relationship with it, too.

You’ve totally got this!

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