Does it matter who files first in a divorce?

Does it matter who files first in a divorce?

Originally published by The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC Blog.

Many people are under the impression that filing first in a divorce will put you at an advantage over your spouse. This is generally not true but there are some reasons a person should consider when pushing to be the first to file in a divorce.

The first person to file a divorce in the state of Texas is known as the petitioner. The opposing party is known as the respondent. This petitioner’s name will be stated first in the case style on all pleadings that are filed in the case and will be the first party to present their arguments at any hearings or at trial.

Being the party to file the initial suit means the petitioner can have an option at deciding what county to file in. If both parties are residents of different counties, it may matter to a person that they file in the county where they currently reside. This can be for many reasons, a big one being convenience. Especially for parties that are domiciled out-of-state, it can be urgent that you file your suit first. This would ease you from having the inconvenience of having to travel, and instead require the other party travel to the county where you have filed the suit.

Of course, this does not give the petitioner any county as an option as they must meet the residency requirements to be able to file in any county. For example, in order to file within Harris County a person must be (1) domiciled in the State of Texas for at least six months, and more specifically, (2) have resided in Harris County for at least 90 days prior to filing a petition for divorce. Only one party needs to meet these requirements, meaning that even if you do not meet these requirements you can still file within that county if your spouse does.

However, a court would still need to be able to exercise personal jurisdiction over a respondent if the petitioner meets the residency requirements. This means they will need to have the authority to require the out-of-state party to subject themselves to the laws of the state and court. Simply stated, personal jurisdiction is the court’s power over the parties to a lawsuit. Personal jurisdiction is typically granted to a court over an out-of-state respondent through a long arm statute. The two main types of long arm statutes that pertain to a divorce would be divorce jurisdiction and parent-child jurisdiction if there are children involved in the marriage. All statutes in relation can be found within the Texas Family Code, Section 6.305.

Another thing to consider when filing first, is that the Petitioner is responsible for paying the initial filing fee. This fee can range anywhere from $300 to $400 depending on what county the lawsuit is filed, and if there are children involved. As a respondent, the only pleading required would be an answer which is mainly free, but at most can cost a few dollars. If you are wanting to countersue the petitioner for divorce, the respondent would need to file a counterpetition which can range from $50 to $100. In short, the initial filing will incur more costs. This as well does not include the fees a petitioner will have to bear by requesting a citation and hiring a process server to serve the respondent. This too can be costly, especially if the respondent’s whereabouts are unknown. These fees are something a person should keep in mind if they are insisting on filing first in a divorce.

A petitioner can have the upper hand in a divorce because they are able to set the tone of the divorce. This means they will have to decide whether they want to plead fault or no fault in the original petition. However, pleadings can be amended and changed by either party after the initial filing. Most people however will aim for an amicable divorce where no-fault has been plead, but they can always amend later if they want to include any at fault grounds for the divorce.

Along with the original petition for divorce, it is not uncommon for a petitioner to file a request for temporary orders along with the petition. They are often requested in the initial pleading, and their purpose is to put restrictions on how the parties should behave during the divorce proceeding. These can include visitation rights, conservatorship of the children, child support, who will have access to the marital home, bills, etc. A petitioner can have the advantage here because they will have more time to prepare for the hearing versus the respondent. A petitioner can also ask for a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) which can help prevent the other party from hiding assets. A TRO is binding on your spouse and can help deter these behaviors. A petitioner has the advantage to prepare for both a temporary order hearing and a temporary restraining order.

Most family and divorce law cases will not make it to trial, this is because most cases will settle in mediation before the case goes to trial. While it is the most cost-efficient method to settle outside of court, there are a small percentage of cases that do end up in a trial. If you are a petitioner in a case this can have a significant impact on what trial strategy is used. A petitioner gets to present their case before the judge first, to which a respondent will have to counter-argue and put on their case second.

If you are unable to file first in a divorce proceeding, a person should not worry too much because you will still be able to fully present your case in the divorce process. You have the right to counterpetition and present your arguments before the court. However, if you are persistent in filing first you should keep in mind the advantages you will be entitled to in preparing your case against the respondent. Also, you should be aware of the cost you will incur with the initial process of filing and service of process.

Curated by Texas Bar Today. Follow us on Twitter @texasbartoday.



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online dating profiles

Only Dating Profiles: How They Can Be Used In Divorce Court

online dating profiles

 

What was once considered fringe is now a full-fledged industry worth over $2 billion dollars. Dating apps like Tinder, OkCupid, Bumble, Hinge, and Coffee Meets Bagel have become a commonplace tool for those looking to find love.

They connect individuals to dozens of potential love interests to foster connections that otherwise may not have been made within the confines of everyday life. While the benefits of online dating are numerous, there are also downsides to the ease of access offered.

Online dating apps can foster choice overload, addiction, and make committing infidelity much easier. An uncommitted spouse could very easily download a dating app and gain instant access to a community of potential people to commit adultery with. Cheating on dating apps is an increasingly common cause of divorce.

If you’re in the midst of a contentious divorce and cheating was involved, you may be wondering what kind of evidence you can use against your spouse or what kind of evidence your spouse can use against you. The admittance of text messages and emails as evidence is now common in divorce cases, but what about dating apps? Can evidence from dating profiles be used as well?

Can Dating Profiles Be Used as Evidence in Divorce?

In short, dating profiles can be used as evidence in court, but there are certain requirements that must be met for the evidence to be admissible. In general, evidence is admissible in divorce court if it is relevant to the case and not confusing, misleading, overly prejudicial, superfluous, or a waste of time.

In terms of relevancy, evidence is considered relevant if it makes a material fact more or less probable than it would be without evidence. Of course, it must also be important to the case to determine if that fact is true or not.

In addition to being relevant, evidence must also be obtained legally and the party asking to admit a certain piece of evidence must be able to authenticate it (establish that the evidence is not fake or forged). If the evidence was obtained unlawfully or it is proven to be fake, it will not be admissible in court.

By this token, dating app profile evidence can be admitted to the court during a divorce if the evidence is lawfully obtained, relevant to the case, and can be authenticated.

On the matter of relevancy, a spouse could argue that dating profile evidence is relevant if accusations of adultery are made. On the other hand, a spouse accused of adultery could argue that dating profile evidence is irrelevant if the dating profile was created after separation, therefore having no bearing on the divorce.

It’s important to note that adultery is not necessarily considered materially relevant to a divorce case in no-fault divorce states. An affair would be considered materially relevant in a no-fault state if marital property was wasted in support of an affair. True no-fault divorce states include:

  • California
  • Colorado
  • Florida
  • Hawaii
  • Indiana
  • Iowa
  • Kansas
  • Kentucky
  • Michigan
  • Minnesota
  • Missouri
  • Montana
  • Nebraska
  • Nevada
  • Oregon
  • Washington
  • Wisconsin

If dating profile evidence comes from friends or family members who screenshot the profile or any match messages from their own dating profiles, the evidence would be considered legally obtained. However, if you snuck onto your spouse’s phone without permission, any resulting evidence would not be admissible.

Last but not least is the matter of authenticity. Because screenshots don’t contain EXIF data, it can be hard to determine if a screenshot is real or photoshopped. A party will have to submit circumstantial evidence that would allow a reasonable judge to conclude the dating profile is real. If a spouse believes someone else is using their photos on a dating profile they did not create or that the screenshots aren’t real, they may be able to successfully defend against the admittance of fake and prejudicial evidence.

Dating App Activity Can Be Tracked

If you suspect your spouse has been cheating on a dating app, but haven’t been able to prove it, or you’ve been cheating on a dating app and aren’t sure if your exploits can be tracked, it’s important to know that there are ways to determine if someone is using a dating app.

Apps like cheaterbuster will scan through Tinder to determine if your spouse has a profile. With the input of name, age, and geographic location, anyone can be found in a matter of seconds if they’ve been using the app. Buzz Humble does the same thing for Bumble and there are many other apps for finding a cheater on other various dating apps. The use of these apps can verify whether or not a profile exists so you can set out to obtain evidence.

Using Dating Profiles as Evidence in a Divorce Case

If you’d like to use your spouse’s dating profile as evidence in divorce court, it’s best to work with your divorce lawyer to obtain the evidence. Again, if you use sneaky or suspicious methods to capture dating profile evidence in a way that violates your spouse’s rights, it will be omitted in a court of law. Your lawyer can help you obtain online or electronic information via a subpoena. With legally obtained dating profile evidence, you can prove your spouse committed adultery.

This article originally appeared on DivorceMag.com

The post Only Dating Profiles: How They Can Be Used In Divorce Court appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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Divorce Tip Tuesday: 5 Tips For Managing Negative Emotions During Divorce

Divorce Tip Tuesday: 5 Tips For Managing Negative Emotions During Divorce



 

Negative emotions during divorce are harder to deal with because divorce is such a mystery to most of us. Most will enter the process once and once you’ve entered you don’t know what to expect. Since that is the case, divorce will cause us to second guess every move and decision we make.

When we find ourselves in a situation that is a mystery to us, we can get lost in magical thinking or conspiracy theories. For example, we question every move our soon-to-be-ex makes and assign meaning to their actions based on anxiety and fear instead of reality. Bottom line, the negative emotions we experience during the divorce process cause our minds to do the opposite of what’s in our best interest.

It’s imperative that you be able to protect yourself emotionally, protect your legal divorce rights and come out the other side of divorce with no regrets. Below I’m going to share a few tips for how to manage negative emotions so you can do just that.

5 Tips For Managing Negative Emotions During Divorce

Don’t react right away

If you have a decision to make pertaining to your divorce, step back and take time to settle yourself emotionally. Don’t agree to anything if you’ve not put thought into it.

If there is a conflict between you and your soon-to-be-ex, don’t engage until you’ve taken time to soothe yourself and know that the way you do engage won’t cause more conflict.

Get Rid of Negative Thought Patterns

I think it goes without saying that the more negative our thoughts about our situation, the more negative emotions we’re going to experience. Evict negative thinking from your head! Negative thinking during times of adversity makes adversity worse.

Become More Aware!

Learn everything you can about your state’s divorce laws and how those laws are handled in your jurisdiction. Go to family court and sit through a couple of divorce cases, read up on mediation in your state so you’ll know what to expect should you go that route. The more knowledgeable you are about how divorce is dealt with in your state the more confident you will be. The more confident you are, the more relaxed about the process you’ll be.

Allow Yourself to be Vulnerable

If you can be emotionally vulnerable and ask for help when needed, you won’t carry around anxiety or stress that needs to be relieved. Asking for help can be really scary and hard. Sometimes we worry it will make us look weak or incompetent. Other times we worry we will hear “no”. Other times, we worry people will say yes, but that we will feel like a burden and become ashamed or embarrassed. BUT the truth is most of the time people LOVE to help others and love to be asked for help.

So, don’t isolate yourself from those who would support you.

Find a Way to be Thankful for Your Situation

There is a silver lining in every situation. If you’re the one who wanted out of a bad marriage, your silver lining is freedom. Be thankful it’s close at hand.

If you didn’t want the divorce, if you’re in pain over the loss of your marriage, you’ll one day know that divorcing is better than living with someone who doesn’t love you or want to be with you. Be thankful that you’re being freed up to one day meet someone who can’t imagine life without you.

The post Divorce Tip Tuesday: 5 Tips For Managing Negative Emotions During Divorce appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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giving my power away

Codependency in the Aftermath of Divorce: Why Are You Still Giving Your Power Away?

giving my power away

 

There are many ways to describe Codependency, but for the sake of intimate relationships, I will use this one. This definition was given by Scott Wetzler, Ph.D., “Codependent relationships signify a degree of unhealthy clinginess, where one person doesn’t have self-sufficiency or autonomy. One or both parties depend on their loved one for fulfillment.”

I believe we are all codependent when we are not standing in our truth. When we don’t know who we are we look to those closest to us, in this case, our partner, to fulfill our own needs: financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically.  That’s a tall order! Imagine one person having the job of making you happy? This is like saying your partner is your one-stop-shop for meeting all your needs, and when they don’t meet all your needs because that is an impossible undertaking, you create toxic expectations.

The truth is nobody can make you happy. Nobody can “complete you.” Sure there are some people that like having a codependent relationship, but typically it’s because they want power over you.  Eventually, the soul craves freedom; freedom to be who you are, and if it doesn’t get that freedom, fulfillment will never come.

So why bring up codependency in the aftermath of divorce? Because how you do anything is how you do everything. If you were codependent in your marriage you will still be codependent in divorce. You may still be very codependent with your ex-spouse. Most marriages do not come to an end consciously on their own, many times one of the parties doesn’t even want to divorce. They may not know who they are without their partner, because their identity is tied to who they were as a couple.  This is by definition what it means to lack autonomy…”I don’t know who I am without you.”    

I get it. I started dating my partner when we were teenagers. We were just kids. We had no idea who we even were yet. We were together for 19 years. It was as if we had morphed into the same being.  It was not until my mid-thirties that my soul craved autonomy. It craved to know who it was, apart from being a wife and a mother.  I had no idea who I was because I depended on my partner to carry me…to carry us. It was unfair, not only to him but to my spirit.

It didn’t stop there. Even in the aftermath of divorce, I was still codependent. There I was, wanting out of this marriage, craving the freedom to be who I was, yet still giving my power away.  This was so subtle that the naked eye couldn’t even catch it. 

I needed him to make me feel significant, I needed him to validate me as a good mother, I needed him to respect me, I needed him to know that I was capable of being on my own, and I needed him to know that I was powerful.

I NEEDED HIM. I STILL NEEDED HIM. I WAS GIVING MY POWER AWAY TO HIM.

This was the energy I was giving him, the power I was giving away as if I was screaming to the universe that I wasn’t enough.  I was saying that I needed someone else in order to feel worthy, in order to be fulfilled. How was it that I needed someone so much that I was trying to separate from? It was the ultimate contradiction.  My soul needed autonomy, yet my ego needed validation to feel worthy. It was a need that was impossible to fill by someone else.

This energy was the ignitor for a tug-of-war throughout my divorce, and it kept me energetically attached…it kept us attached. This is what it means to be physically divorced but still energetically married…to be energetically attached to a person you were previously bonded with intimately.  Your souls connected at one point, and in divorce, it doesn’t disappear after signing divorce papers. This takes awareness. I talk about this in more detail here are-you-divorced-but-still-feel-like-you-are-energetically-married

I finally realized all the ways in which I was giving my power away, and what I needed to do in order to reclaim it. You know when you are no longer codependent when you are no longer triggered, and they no longer have the power to bring you to your knees. When nothing anyone does, says or takes away causes you to react any longer.  No more energy is given away, no more power is handed over carelessly. You begin to start remembering who you are, and you remember how powerful you are.

I was done playing tug-of-war.  I spent too many years holding onto that rope so tight that letting go felt like absolute freedom to my soul.  It was a freedom that I never knew existed but internally remembered it as my true essence. Freedom came from knowing that I didn’t need anyone to make me feel worthy and that it was time to rediscover who I was and what I was capable of in this lifetime.  This came from slowly disconnecting to what was taking my power away and reconnecting to myself, to my truth.

The post Codependency in the Aftermath of Divorce: Why Are You Still Giving Your Power Away? appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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friends with your ex

Should You Remain Friends With Your Ex After Divorce?

friends with your ex

 

A very common question for newly separated and divorced women is ‘Can I still be friends with my ex?’

This may be because when we’re in the midst of pain and heartbreak, the thought of NEVER seeing our beloved again can be simply too much to bear – particularly if the decision to divorce was not our own. We feel like utter crap and the idea that we can still have a piece – even a small piece – of our beloved is a comforting one.

But here is the thing: this person is no longer our beloved. And harsh as it may sound, the sooner we give our psyche permission to accept this fact, the sooner we will move forward and heal. Holding on to somebody we were once but are no longer intimate with can seriously delay our healing.

Of course, in our grief, our brains will be telling us the opposite of this. We fight to hold on because we don’t want to feel the bitter pain that will ultimately come once we concede that it is really over. Who wants to feel pain? Not most of us.

In order to escape at least some of the pain, our psyche urges us to hold on to something, anything. So we tell ourselves that we should ‘remain friends’ with him. This is where we have it wrong. Yes, we will feel pain when we let go. Yes, pain sucks.

But on the other side of pain and heartache is FREEDOM – freedom from wanting and needing something that is no longer good for us; freedom from craving something that is simply no longer there.

The unfortunate catch is that we must go through it in order to get through it. For true healing and recovery, there really is no better way. By being brave enough to let go of your extruly let go – you will pave the way for an even better and brighter future for yourself; a future in which you become the independent and beautiful creature you know you are capable of being.

Here are 3 points to consider if you want to remain friends with your ex:

1. You need to work at EMOTIONALLY separating from him

When we have spent a good portion of our time with another person in an intimate relationship, emotional bonds and ties will have formed – this is a normal and natural process. During a break-up, those bonds and ties must be severed, and this naturally hurts.

It especially hurts in the early days of a breakup or divorce. And it is during these early days that we need to be especially mindful of allowing the process of emotional separation to occur. The simplest way to allow it to occur is to have physical distance from your ex. Put simply:

To heal and move forward, you must emotionally separate from your ex.

To emotionally separate, you need distance.

It is completely normal and natural to pine for your ex in the early days of divorce. What is important is that you do your best to remain mindful of what’s going on – and what needs to happen – during this period. So, rather than give in to temptation and text, call or turn up on his doorstep, use this time wisely.

Learn how to be alone. Learn how to not hate it. Learn to self-soothe. Learn to go deep inside and discover who you are – who you REALLY are – without the labels of ‘wife’ or ‘girlfriend’. Reconnect with old friends. Find your passion! Remember, you were someone before your relationship. And that girl is still in there somewhere. Make it your mission to find her.

2. You need to decide what level of contact is best for YOU

This step works a whole lot better once you’ve begun the process of emotional detachment or separation. This is because you will be making the decision from a place of clarity – not a place of grief, sadness, and confusion.

Only you can decide what level of contact (if any) with your ex is best for you moving forward. Everybody’s circumstances are different. If you are going through a divorce, have children or other family or financial ties with your ex, there will obviously need to be some contact and it would be in everybody’s best interests if that contact was civil.

Be mindful here that civil (or friendly) contact does not mean that you need to have a friendship. It does mean that you are able to participate in a conversation with your ex without being reduced to a grieving, crying and/or angry mess.

In the early days of my divorce (before I’d emotionally separated and ceased pining night and day for him) I found it helpful to limit contact to text message and email. Face-to-face and telephone conversations usually saw me reduced to the aforementioned grieving, crying and angry mess.

3. You need to take it one day at a time

Finally, if you’re having a tough time in the heartbreak department, there is no need to torture yourself by declaring that you will NEVER see your ex again. It is OK to simply take it one day or week at a time. Understand that things will likely look a whole lot different in six or twelve months’ time.

When my husband first left me, I honestly could not imagine that there would come a day that I would be able to look at him and not feel heartbreak, or love, or anger, or grief, or excruciating pain. I was in an agonizing state of flux – wanting to see him to ease my misery; wishing he would die because seeing him was torture.

Now, five years on, I feel none of these things when I see him. I sometimes feel an odd affection for what we once had together. We are friends, but not best friends. We do what’s best for our kids. The great thing? All of this happened organically – with time, space and healing.  And now I truly can’t imagine life any other way.

The post Should You Remain Friends With Your Ex After Divorce? appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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Lesser-Known Financial Risks for Couples Facing Divorce

Lesser-Known Financial Risks for Couples Facing Divorce

Divorce is difficult as it is, but it’s more important than ever before to look ahead to protect your own financial well-being.

The post Lesser-Known Financial Risks for Couples Facing Divorce appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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Divorce Tip Tuesday: The Emotional Harm a Narcissistic Parent Can Cause Their Children During Divorce

Divorce Tip Tuesday: The Emotional Harm a Narcissistic Parent Can Cause Their Children During Divorce

Emotional Harm a Narcissistic Parent Can Cause

Narcissistic parents harm their children whether there is a divorce or not. Add divorce to the mix and the narcissist become vindictive, suffers a narcissistic injury and goes full-force vindictive.
It’s almost as if they are hell-bent on making their ex and children pay for the suffering they are experiencing do to the narcissistic injury.

With a lack of insight into their behavior the narcissist is either unable to see the damage they do, or, due to their lack of empathy doesn’t care about the damage they do. If you’re the other parent, I’m sharing insights into their behavior plus personal experiences from my son’s relationship with their narcissistic father.

8 Ways the Narcissistic Parent Can Cause Harm

1. Your Child Won’t Be Heard or Validated

As I’ve said in the video, the narcissist doesn’t consider consequences before acting and if he doesn’t something that hurts your child, he doesn’t consider your child’s voice or opinion. He doesn’t care or take into consideration how his actions impact his children. Only he deserves validation, everyone else will be immediately shut down by him.

2. Your Child Will Learn That Being Real Isn’t Safe

The narcissistic parent defines what is and isn’t real. If your daughter is uncomfortable meeting his new girlfriend, he will dismiss her discomfort and something she is making up because of what she has heard from her Mom. If your son writes an email that is grammatically correct with no spelling errors he will accuse the son of letting Mom write the email. The narcissistic parent deflects what is real to your child onto what is real to him.

3. The Narcissist Will Share Too Much With Your Child

No information is sacred to the narcissistic parent. No child’s emotional state is of importance to the narcissistic parent. If it’s information that can make you look back, it will be shared with their child and the child will be told it’s a secret. “Don’t tell Mom.” This puts the child in the precarious position of having to carry around harmful information and no one to soothe their emotional upheaval.

4. Your Child Won’t Be Emotionally Nourished.

Asking for or expecting emotional nourishment from a narcissist is like asking a 2-year-old to carry on a conversation about quantum physics. They don’t have the emotional IQ to offer other’s emotional nourishment. And, if it is offered, it’s only because the narcissist is in a situation of trying to look good in front of others.

5. Your Child Is Expected To Be There For The Narcissistic Parent

The narcissistic parent won’t be there for the child. My ex goes 6 and 7 years at a time without contacting or seeing his sons. Why? Because he thinks it is their place to contact him. It is their place to be there for him, not the other way around. It’s sick!

6. Your Child’s Needs Won’t Be Met

The narcissistic parent cares about no one’s needs but their own. They will plow right over their own children if it means getting their needs met. They, at no time, put any thought or effort into meeting their children’s needs. This can lead to feelings of worthlessness in your child and it’s imperative that you take up the slack when it comes to meeting their needs.

7. The Narcissistic Parent Will Shame and Humiliate Their Child

If it will make the narcissist feel better about themselves they have no qualms about shaming and humiliating their child in front of others. They will compare your child to others, disparaging the way your child dresses or even looks. This can lead to low self-esteem in your child and I, personally have no problem with you telling your child that their father is sick and twisted and unable to behave like an adult.

8. Your Child May Suffer Mental Health Issues

There is a high probability that exposure to the narcissistic parent will cause PTSD symptoms, depression, anxiety and other mental health issues in your child. My youngest was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder at 17-years-old. After my ex had a session with the psychiatrist, the psychiatrist told me this, “That fucking narcissist has nearly destroyed his son’s life.”

Please, at the first sign of distress, get your child into therapy.

Parenting The Child With a Narcissistic Parent

Empathetic Parenting

The narcissistic parent, parents without empathy. They have no ability to feel empathy so it only makes sense they would parent without it. You have to do the opposite and parent with empathy and love.

To maintain a close bond with your children, it is essential for you to focus on being lovingly responsive in your interactions with them. You want to relate well with them, sense what they are feeling, help them put their thoughts and feelings into words, and anticipate their reactions as well as their needs.

Validate Their Feelings

Validating a child means letting them share their thoughts and feelings without judging, criticizing, ridiculing or abandoning them. You let your child feel heard and understood. You convey that you love and accept them no matter what they’re feeling or thinking.

Coach Your Child Through Negative Emotions

Emotion coaching is the practice of talking with children about their feelings and offering kids concrete strategies for coping with emotionally difficult situations.

Get Them Into Therapy

In the video, I advise parents to get their children in therapy at the first sign of distress. If you’re 100 percent sure your are dealing with a narcissistic ex, you may not want to wait until you see signs of distress.

If you can do the 4 things above you have a very good chance of countering the harm the narcissistic parent will do. You have the opportunity to counterbalance and fill up the gaping holes the narcissistic parent will leave in your child’s heart.

The post Divorce Tip Tuesday: The Emotional Harm a Narcissistic Parent Can Cause Their Children During Divorce appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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New Year, New Way to Budget After Divorce: 5 Steps

New Year, New Way to Budget After Divorce: 5 Steps

There is an old adage that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.  Creating a budget helps you take control of your financial wellness, get a better grasp of your money, and learn how to manage your money better. 

The post New Year, New Way to Budget After Divorce: 5 Steps appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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work from home

How a Divorced Mom Can Excel in a Work From Home Job

work from home

 

Adjusting to life after a divorce can be hard. There are many things that a divorced mom must get accustomed to in order to properly move on and thrive. For instance, she will not have a partner to rely on and she will have to weather certain storms alone. Then, she might lose certain friends and family members.

Most importantly, there is the fear of limiting her time with the children, depending on the custody arrangement. Unfortunately, these are the realities of divorce but they can be handled with some effort.

To be able to take care of herself and her kids, a divorced mom will often look for a job. However, if they were a stay-at-home mom before, this may seem a bit difficult. Luckily, there are so many career opportunities out there and some of them don’t even require leaving the home. So, in case you’ve found yourself in this situation, keep on reading to see how a divorced mom can excel at her telecommuting job.

Divorced Moms Can Excel in a Work From Home Job

Finding the Right Job for Their Circumstances

The first step should be looking for a job that can be done in your current circumstances that will allow for financial stability. For starters, consider your skills and see what you can be doing. Then, do some budgeting and figure out how much money you will need on a monthly basis and how much each job pays. Finally, you need to establish work hours for yourself in order to have free time to spend with your kids and run your everyday errands.

For example, if you like working with kids, you can provide other busy parents with childcare services. They can drop the kids off at your place and you watch over them, feed them and play games together.

Then, if you prefer working with numbers, you can consider accounting and bookkeeping. An office can easily be run from your home and considering the overheads, the profit can be very good. Lastly, you can consider all sorts of online jobs, from content writing and proofreading through coding and graphic design to even being a virtual assistant. The options truly abound and you will surely be able to find something that fits your skills and meets your needs.

Creating a Productive Environment

Now that you’ve decided on what you will be doing, you need to create a space for your operations. Seeing as how you might not have the luxury of a separate room for your job, you will have to make the most of what you do have. Come up with a list of things that you require in order for the work to go smoothly and slowly start acquiring them.

For instance, if you plan on providing childcare services, you will need to ensure the area where the kids will be is childproof and has all the necessary toys and entertainment options. Bookkeepers and accountants will find that proper software is vital for keeping everything tidy and accurate. In addition to your computer and phone, you will also need some other essentials such as a strong internet connection, a wireless printer/scanner along with the necessary apps for printing on the go. These things will allow you to streamline all processes and get everything done much faster.

Finally, the environment should be pleasant and motivating so make sure there is enough natural light. If the area is quite dim, layer light fixtures so that your eyes don’t get strained. Then, get an ergonomic chair if you will be spending a lot of time in front of the computer. Add some calming but inspiring colors and think about introducing some plants as they have many health benefits.

Balancing Your Private and Professional Life

Last but not least, while developing your career is important in order to feel fulfilled and take care of your family, you cannot forget about having a balance between your private and professional life. It is very important to create boundaries for both yourself and other people.

People need to understand that working from home doesn’t mean that you are available to them whenever they need you. You should set working hours for yourself and explain to them that you are not to be disturbed during that time. In terms of your kids, it might be best to look for a period when they are at school or daycare.

To stay on top of everything, you should do your best to plan your time well and stay organized. Knowing the schedules of everyone in the family will help with this a lot. Make sure you make the most of your free time together and truly create a bond with your kids.

Working overtime might seem tempting if you need more money but spending this precious time with your little ones can never be replaced. Plus, you cannot forget about your own health and wellbeing so make sure you are taking good care of yourself as well.

To fuel your career from home, you will first need to find a profession that you are good at and that fulfills you; then, you must create a productive environment for yourself in order to make the most of this job; and finally, work on finding the balance between work and your private life as spending time with your kids is priceless. Good luck on this new adventure!

The post How a Divorced Mom Can Excel in a Work From Home Job appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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