financially stable after divorce

How To Become Financially Stable After Divorce

financially stable after divorce

 

Understandably, many people fear the potential financial repercussions of getting a divorce. After ending a marriage, it’s not uncommon for a person to experience a significant loss of income and property. Fortunately, there are some ways to recover financially.

Becoming Financially Stable After Divorce

Live Within Your Means

A divorce may ultimately force you to temporarily adjust your budget. It’s definitely in your best interest to hold off on making any big purchases. Simple lifestyle changes, such as dining out less often, will help save a lot of extra money. Although the idea of cutting back might be an adjustment, but you will be able to get back on your feet soon.

Consider Getting a Roommate

Living alone has its benefits, but depending on where you are living, it might not be feasible. Try to find a roommate to help out with the bills. You’ll be surprised how much extra cash will be saved every month. If you don’t already own a home, consider renting an apartment with a responsible friend or family member. A one-year lease agreement should give you enough time to improve your financial status, though you should tailor any agreement to your unique situation.

Raise Spousal Support Payments You Receive

You can talk to an alimony lawyer to make a case if you feel you are not getting your fair share of spousal support. Doing so might help you receive more money from your ex. It just depends on the specific circumstances of your divorce.

Earn Extra Money

There are plenty of methods to earn extra money. For instance, you can start donating plasma every week. It’s an easy way to bring in an extra $400 per month. The process of giving plasma typically only takes around 45 minutes. In addition to the peace of mind that can come from cleaning out your stuff, you can earn a little bit of extra cash by selling items. Hosting a yard sale, selling items on Craigslist or eBay, or even just posting old clothes, books, or anything else on Instagram or Facebook Marketplace can be a good way of cleaning up and making some money while doing so.

Rebuild Your Confidence

In order to accomplish anything worthwhile in life, you must have a certain level of confidence. Doing some of the small things above can help you feel more in control. Thinking through everything you have to do is overwhelming; it can be helpful to write out each individual step and take things as they come. It can feel difficult to work through what life will be like alone. However, never stop believing in yourself. This is the perfect time for you to set new goals.

A large setback like a divorce can cause more than a few problems financially, but getting the support you need from family and friends, as well as working every day to cultivate confidence in yourself can push you through. Remember that you are a whole person, worth supporting and loving.

Overcoming a divorce is not a simple task. Nevertheless, continuing to push through the turmoil will help you to succeed. Financial loss is something you can survive. If you made it through a messy divorce, you can make it through the aftermath. Just take things one step at a time, believe in yourself, and take practical steps to ensure your financial stability.

The post How To Become Financially Stable After Divorce appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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The Initial Divorce Consultation: Everything You Need to Know

The Initial Divorce Consultation: Everything You Need to Know

A productive initial divorce consultation can provide a toolbox of information allowing you to reflect on your situation before taking the next steps. 

The post The Initial Divorce Consultation: Everything You Need to Know appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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Is Opioid Addiction Contributing to More Divorces?

Is Opioid Addiction Contributing to More Divorces?

Whether you’re the one combating addiction or are the partner picking up the pieces of substance abuse, it may be comforting — though still devastating — to realize that this is a somewhat common issue in the United States.

The post Is Opioid Addiction Contributing to More Divorces? appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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father

Divorced Moms: A Few Father’s Day Do’s and Don’ts

father's day

 

As a single mother on Father’s Day, sometimes it can be a little lonely when the children are not by your side, but it is essential to recognize the importance, in your children’s eyes, of spending time with their father – particularly on Father’s Day.

Just as on Mother’s Day, when, as it should be, the mother is properly recognized for all of her contributions to the family, it is equally as important that the children are able to spend time with and recognize their father on their special day.

A Few Father’s Day Do’s and Don’ts

In order to help prepare for not spending time with your children on Father’s Day, here’s a helpful guide of “Do’s and Don’ts” that I have found to be useful in my consultations with clients on the topic of Father’s Day and visitation when the parents are separated.

It should go without saying these suggestions apply equally to Mother’s Day when the children are spending time with their mother, but since Father’s Day is rapidly approaching, we will start from there. So without further ado, here is my helpful list of do’s and don’ts for a single mother on Father’s Day:

Do’s for a Single Mother on Father’s Day

  1. Do encourage your children to spend time with their father on Father’s Day. Keep any negative feelings to yourself until after the children have left so that they can enjoy a guilt-free day with their dad.
  2. Do step aside for the day and allow the father to shine, even if only for one day.
  3. Do make sure your children – if they do not reside in the same geographical area as their father, or if Dad is deployed or working overseas – contact and speak with their father. If possible, connect them through some video conferencing, Skype, Facetime, or a similar application that allows the children and their father to see each other while they’re talking.
  4. Do have the children create a Father’s Day card and/or encourage your children to make a homemade gift for their father.
  5. Do take time for yourself and enjoy some quality time with your family or friends. Make plans that don’t involve the children, such as brunch, a movie, or a spa day with friends.

Don’ts for a Single Mother on Father’s Day

  1. Don’t make plans or schedule other activities on Father’s Day that would deprive the father of the opportunity to spend time with the children on Father’s Day.
  2. Don’t disparage or otherwise denigrate Father to or around the children. This tip should apply year-round – not just on Father’s Day
  3. Don’t prohibit the children from spending time with or contacting Father on Father’s Day.
  4. Don’t allow the children to dictate the terms of their timesharing with Father over Father’s Day.
  5. Don’t despair: Mother’s Day occurs in May, so make sure these same do’s and don’ts apply for your special day when it comes around each year!

While certainly not an exhaustive list, I hope these do’s and don’ts will help to provide some guidelines on how best to handle – and ensure a smooth timesharing experience for your child – Father’s Day after divorce.

The post Divorced Moms: A Few Father’s Day Do’s and Don’ts appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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The Problem of Non-Commitment In Relationships Post-Divorce

The Problem of Non-Commitment In Relationships Post-Divorce

In the past, you met someone, started dating, and a relationship with commitment followed. Nowadays, it seems that there seems to be a problem of non-commitment in relationships after divorce.

The post The Problem of Non-Commitment In Relationships Post-Divorce appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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06/04 The Impact of Divorce on Children With Special Needs

06/04 The Impact of Divorce on Children With Special Needs

There are a number of practical issues to address when a couple with one or more special needs children goes through a divorce, such as custody, family support, education, finances, and legal rights.

The post 06/04 The Impact of Divorce on Children With Special Needs appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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06/04 The Impact of Divorce on Children With Special Needs

The Impact of Divorce on Children With Special Needs

There are a number of practical issues to address when a couple with one or more special needs children goes through a divorce, such as custody, family support, education, finances, and legal rights.

The post The Impact of Divorce on Children With Special Needs appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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divorced dads

The Value of Divorced Dads: On Father’s Day And Every Day

divorced dads

Lessons of love always begin in childhood with the parent/child relationship. If children feel authentically loved by a father they will grow up knowing how to love others.

 

Father’s Day is just another day around my house. My father passed away13 years ago and my ex-husband has no relationship with our two sons. I was blessed with a loving father who earned celebrations every day of the year.

My boys, bless their hearts, ended up with the kind of father that perpetuates the old stereotypes about deadbeat dads. I’ve been divorced from their father for 19 years, during that time I’d venture to say that 90% of the time he has been a no-show when it comes to fathering.

When I began this article I was stumped, what can I, a mother whose sons don’t have a father say to divorced dads on Father’s Day? I then realized that the absence of their father has taught me quite a bit about the importance of fathers in a child’s life. Not just on Father’s Day but every day.

Whether you have full custody, 50/50 custody or you are an every other weekend Dad, when your little ones give you a gift and card this Father’s Day it isn’t because you are special to them on one day but, because you add value to their lives every day.

A Divorced Dads Value on Father’s Day and Every Day:

Showing up:

Showing up in spite of a difficult visitation schedule or conflict with your ex teaches your children persistence. If you continue to be involved in your children’s live after divorce, engage in quality time with them regardless of how little quantity, you are teaching your child that when something is important to them, it is worth pursuing with persistence. What a wonderful lesson to teach!

They learn they matter:

You not only teach your children that they matter but, by example, you teach them that what they do matters. You showing them that they matter teaches them to care about others. You teach them that actions, words, and deeds are the true measure of a person when you show up and you show them they can trust your actions, words and deeds.

You give them someone to go to:

If they are hurting or confused over a problem they know you are available. You make a difference when they are down and out. By being there for them, you teach them to be there for others. You have a direct impact on how empathetic and compassionate they become.

You impact their ability to learn:

Children with involved, caring fathers have better educational outcomes. Fathers who are involved and nurturing with their children impact their IQ scores as well as cognitive abilities, verbal skills, and intellectual functioning. So, show up as often as possible because you are raising geniuses!

You impact their mental health:

Children with good relationships with their fathers are less likely to experience depression or exhibit disruptive behavior. Boys with involved fathers had fewer school behavior problems and girls have higher self-esteem. In other words, by showing up you teach your boys the importance of proper behavior and your girls to never settle for that ne’er-do-well boy that every father fears.

You teach your sons how to be good fathers:

Fathering involves commitment, self-sacrifice, integrity, and unconditional love. Responsible fathers are concerned with the well-being of their children, and their desire is to see their children succeed in all areas of life.

Nurturing your relationship with your sons trains them “up right,” as my grandmother used to say, it educates them and fosters healthy development. Do this for your sons and your grandchildren will be rewarded with loving, attentive fathers.

You teach them how to love:

Lessons of love always begin in childhood with the parent/child relationship. If children feel authentically loved by a father they will grow up knowing how to love others. The ability to give love is directly related to the love we receive, especially during childhood. Showing up and filling your children with love will play a huge role in the kind of romantic relationships they involve themselves in as adults.

And that is just the short list! Raising two boys on my own has taught me a lot about the value of a father. Working through the years with clients and hearing from fathers via email, I know that my ex-husband is not representative of the vast majority of divorced dads.

We hear a lot about single and divorced moms but very little about divorced dads. We place value on the mother/child relationship and at times dismiss the father/child relationship. It is my wish on this Father’s Day that divorced dads know that, although others may not be paying attention, their children are.

They are waiting for your phone call, watching out the window, looking for your car, counting the days until your next visitation. They are eager to see you, share their lives with you and love you. And every time you show up your value to them increases tenfold.

If you are a divorced dad who shows up, every day spent with your children feels like Father’s Day to them.

So, Happy “Father’s Day” today and every day.

The post The Value of Divorced Dads: On Father’s Day And Every Day appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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Divorce Agreement: It May Not Seem Fair, But Going to Trial is Risky

Divorce Agreement: It May Not Seem Fair, But Going to Trial is Risky

Litigants in long term marriages that are coming to an end face significant challenges when they want a divorce.

The post Divorce Agreement: It May Not Seem Fair, But Going to Trial is Risky appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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career ladder

How to Get Back On the Career Ladder after a Divorce

career ladder

 

You may have decided to take a break from your career while you were married because your spouse’s salary was more than enough to support your family. And you probably never imagined that you two would ever split.

However, after years of being a stay-at-home mom looking after the kids and mastering the art of being a “domestic goddess’, you might feel like you’ve lost your corporate mojo and don’t really know where to start getting back into the career saddle.

Getting Back On the Career Ladder after a Divorce

The following guide was designed for divorced women like yourself who want to get back on the career ladder but don’t know where to start. Whether you’re going back to work because you want a fresh start, a new challenge or because you need to in order to support yourself, the following information should be very helpful to your quest.

Take stock of your skills and expertise

Start your journey back to the top by evaluating all the skills and expertise that you have to offer. This includes work experience that you have acquired from previous jobs and any professional qualifications that you may have. Consider the things that you excel at the most as well as tasks that you truly enjoy. This should give you a good idea of the type of profession that you want to explore as you revitalize your career and reinvent your life.

You might find that you still enjoy the career you were in before you got married and are keen to get back into it, or maybe you discovered another aspect of yourself and have fallen out of love with your previous profession. If that’s the case then you can always explore a different role but within the same profession or re-launch your career in a completely different field. Whatever you decide, be sure to keep an open mind and take advantage of the fact that you have a chance to start on a clean slate again.

Learn how to write a resume

Learn how to write a resume by Googling “resume templates”. This will give you an idea of how your own resume should look and how you should format it when you start on the first draft. You can also get in touch with a local recruitment company that will help you to further polish your resume to fit your preferred profession.

Practice for interviews

You’ve been out of the job market for a while so your interview skills are probably rusty, to say the least. Get interview practice by playing pretend with your friends and family. Or even practice in front of the mirror or with your kids to get your confidence back. That way, you’ll be much more comfortable with the process when you eventually start going for interviews.

Network

Start networking by joining a local networking group where you can make contacts, meet like-minded people and perhaps even prospective employers. Networking on a regular basis can also build your confidence so that it’s easier to get out there when the time comes.

Networking also involves contacting past colleagues whom you might find are occupying higher positions than they were when you left your job. If you have a friend or family member that’s in recruitment, don’t hesitate to let them know about your ambition to get back to work. Ask them to keep an ear out for job vacancies in the field of work that you’re interested in to help you get referrals.

Spread the word

Tell the people in your life that you’re looking for work in a particular field. Or take it one step further and tell a stranger! You never know who you’re standing next to in a queue and sometimes an opportunity is just one “hello” away while waiting in a line at Starbucks.

Hire a job coach

A job coach will provide you valuable advice on which jobs you should consider based on your skills, qualifications, and passions. They’ll also offer information related to the jobs that you’re interested in, including the pay, the number of hours involved, and more. This information will help to determine whether or not each option is a good fit for you and ultimately help you to find the perfect position.

Get a makeover

Some women find that revamping their look gives them a confidence boost. Getting a makeover might just be what you need to improve your self-esteem and make you feel more confident about getting yourself out there. This could mean getting a new hairstyle, going for mani-pedis, working out more regularly and even updating your wardrobe by hiring a stylist.

Believe in yourself

The only thing standing between you and career re-launch success is a belief in yourself. There’s no need for you to feel insecure about your abilities just because you’re a little rusty. You were probably amazing at your job before you got married and had kids. There’s no reason why you can’t excel and enjoy professional success again. So believe in yourself and put yourself out there. You won’t get anywhere if you don’t start so, put all the tips we’ve given you to the test and get started!

The post How to Get Back On the Career Ladder after a Divorce appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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