Today’s The Thriver’s Life episode is BIG!
It’s about the funky energy and massive breakdowns that people are experiencing in their life right now.
It seems that very few people are exempt from this right now (I’m seeing it everywhere!) And even I have been struck by it too!
Can you relate? Have you been feeling it? Are you seeing painful and crazy things happening in your own life as well as so many people you know?
I have – and that’s why I passionately wanted to deliver this video to you today.
What is GOING ON with this?
In today’s video, I explain, what is happening, why it happening and what to do about it!
If you are having HUGE challenges emotionally or struggling with real life painful events right now, today’s episode is a MUCH needed watch for you!
Welcome to the Thriver’s Life series. The creation of your highest and best life after narcissistic abuse.
Today, I want to talk about an incredible energy phenomenon that is taking place.
At MTE we are truly in the trenches seeing how the community is travelling and what people feel and need, and right now we are seeing so much happening for people in the way of the breakdown of their old order to make way for their breakthroughs. This seems to be happening universally even to Thrivers who have been doing a great job of up levelling their lives. And this is why I wanted to address this today, to help all of you get a grip on what’s going on in these huge energy shifts, as well as how to deal with it.
How does this funky time translate into real life events? Quite frankly so many people are going through stuff at the moment. Big stuff. Impactful stuff. VERY painful stuff.
This leaves us thinking and wondering … what on earth is going on?
This isn’t just happening in this community; I am seeing it everywhere around me as well. And, I know so many of you are reporting the same thing … experiencing this yourself, as well as seeing people in your own life hitting the wall, coming face to face with big massive disappointments and dead ends.
Is this true for you right now? Is this what is going on? If so please pause the video, scroll down and let me know in the comments.
Soooo, this is what I want to talk to you about today, this time of overwhelm, where so many of us have been feeling incredibly painful feelings and suffering devastating events in our lives, and again we feel like we are in the abyss not really sure how to get out of it.
It can be a shocking feeling, for many of you successful Thrivers to believe you would never feel such significant pain again. Yet, here we are going through it! The good thing is that we have the tools this time to deal with it.
You may or may not believe in energy reports. I used to, when I had more time, write them for this community. They are about energetic shifts, planetary alignments and how we are all affected at a collective level depending literally on what is going on in the ethers. These energy reports, that many wonderful energy reporters do, are often uncannily accurate.
If energy reports and planets are not your thing, I totally get that, and I promise you that this video is about a lot more than that. However, if energy reports are something that fascinates you, then you may be really interested to know that there are huge planetary alignments and eclipses which are surfacing a whole heap of stuff right now. June was big for it, and July is going to be even bigger.
To me, what is happening is the huge wake-up call of personal responsibility. If we have been living in delusions, meaning not living from our truth, or our highest and most loving self, we are meeting these unhealed parts of ourselves like battering rams right now. This really means that we can’t just sweep things under the carpet anymore. And with this time comes massive overwhelm.
If we are clinging to old systems out of fear, that aren’t serving us, these may be crumbling around us. It could be relationships, career, health or financial issues – that scream at us when they hit – ‘No more! you can not continue as you were here!’
These are the following things that are just not going to cut it for us anymore … victimhood, blaming, old emotional addictions and habits that damage us, our insecurities, and having ingrained negative belief systems.
In this time of intense energy shifts, ‘so within, so without’ is in our face like never before. If we are harbouring painful, resentful, self-defeating beliefs about ourselves, others and life, these are exactly the results we are seeing manifest right before our eyes.
The truth is we are meeting ourselves – more now than we ever have, via the events we experience outside of us. If we are being abused, criticised, cut off and treated unfairly – this is all in relation to the flawed and painful belief systems that we are carrying inside, as well as our handing our power away trying to gain love, approval, security and survival from those around us, who are not true sources of these things.
It’s so important to know that all of this is happening for powerful and incredible reasons – ‘for’ us and not ‘to’ us.
So, in these crazy, powerful and painful times of the endings of false eras to make way for the birth of true ones, what is it in your life that is breaking down or has actually been ripped away? Is it a meaningful relationship? Is it a cherished dream? Is it a direction that you had your heart set on? Is it your security?
This happened to me very recently with my partner of 20 months. The relationship abruptly ended. There is nothing on the outside that could be fixed, we have both decided rightly to go our own separate ways, and as I have done many, many times in my life, it is about going deeply inside myself to grow, heal and evolve myself – again.
What else is there to do? The answer is nothing. I could spiral down into pain, self-recrimination, pondering, reminiscing and missing him … taking my energy out and into the pain, or I can work steadily towards the solution.
We mine our greatest gold through our wounds. If we are willing to sit with and be with our pain and use Quantum Tools to move the toxic dense pain out, then we get the breakthrough into even more of our True Self.
Like many of us, at the moment, I am deeply in a breakdown/breakthrough growth spurt. I am presently doing hours of work on myself a day to move forward into being a more loving, compassionate, effective person as well as a more capable loving person in relationships. I am letting go, in fact spiralling up and out with Quanta Freedom Healing in this death/rebirth process, more parts of myself that don’t serve me, and opening up the space and bringing in Source where those wounds once were. Which is the becoming of higher consciousness, and more love and truth to be more of my True Self.
Okay so, these are the steps I want to grant you to help you shift out of your present pain and breakdown, to get to your breakthrough.
Release All Resistance
The first thing is to not go into resistance. If we cling and hang on to the old orders in our life that are falling down, we are in for a very hard time. We will get dragged through the stench and the decay of these things that we are no longer able to be retained in our life that can’t come with us to the next level of our emotional, spiritual development.
So, my highest suggestion is to make it your practice immediately to say to yourself, ‘I bless and accept this and I know that Life and Source have my back, and wants the highest and best for me. This is all in perfect and divine order.’
Turn Inwards Instead of Outwards
And then the next part of the puzzle is to stop frantically try to control things on the outside, and rather Go Quantum, meaning come inside to deal with things where they really are taking place … in the Creator Universe that we are on the inside. If we don’t take control of the only being who we have the power to control – ourselves – we will be pulled completely out of control. Especially in these testing times.
Now is the time to connect to ourselves and love ourselves unconditionally as well as be really honest with ourselves about what it is within and without that is no longer serving us. The thing is, I believe, we always know. Often it just is that we aren’t being honest with ourselves. We try to make deals with life and others, instead of letting go and the reason is because we still have unhealed insecurities within ourselves to address and heal.
When we use Quantum Tools to let go of the toxic pain, to make way for peace, love, resolution, and acceptance – we start to get our answers. Healing can enter.
Shifting The Trauma Out
When working on the shifting out of the trauma, in times such as these, the overwhelm and shock may be so huge that you literally don’t know what you are shifting out, or you may not be able to concentrate on getting information about it. I really want you to know that you don’t need to work out exactly what the trauma is in regard to information.
If you have a tool such as Quanta Freedom Healing where you can move the trauma up and out of your body, then all you need to do is breathe deeply into it, be with it, fully feeling it and then visualise the releasing of it. It will shift up and out, and you can then bring in the light of Source to replace it, which starts shifting you out of the pain and into your relief and solution – which is your path toward growth, and the next highest version of your life on that topic.
I hope this episode can really help you, and I’m looking really forward to working with you on these topics, within your comments and questions, which really are Empowered Self topics, about taking the ultimate road to freedom, breakthrough and success when we suffer great pain and disappointment. Because that is the Thriver Way – knowing that if a breakdown is a 10/10 on the scale, then the breakthrough will be as equally impactful.
And remember, after narcissistic abuse recovery, gloriously we take it further!
Because we CAN!
Lots of love, bye bye.
When you have cleared much of the pain, and are no longer in survival mode – these questions may arise …
Who am I?
What am I supposed to be doing with my life now?
You may have an idea of what you want to do, but you feel stuck.
You may still feel some residual fear of going out there and getting what it is you truly want.
And as a result, you may feel like you aren’t getting anywhere.
What is going on when we feel like that? What have we missed?
Truly, I can’t tell you how much I relate to these feelings, because this stage of the journey TOTALLY happened to me too!
Today, I’m so excited to share what I discovered about why we feel stuck … and how to use this time, not just for peace and acceptance, but to tap into the power and richness of our unfolding in ways that we never previously knew.
When you embody the insights I share in this video your life is going to start flowing so powerfully … you will have all the energy, direction, support and ways that you could possibly dream of.
It really is that powerful!
Welcome to the Thriver’s Life series … the creation of your highest and best life after narcissistic abuse.
Okay, before I get started on this week’s new series topic – I want to say that the response to the launch of this new series last week was beyond my wildest expectations. And I am so thrilled that I can now focus on granting you the next empowered steps, the ones that I took, to help you really expand your life after narcissistic abuse.
Thank you, everyone, for your name suggestions and all of the effort and the thought that you put into these.
The MTE team chose ‘The Thriver’s Life Series’, and I want to thank Nancy for her suggestion – which we believe encapsulates all of it – everything that we want this new series to represent. And I love that this is so about solution – it’s not just about narcissistic abuse. At MTE here, and on this channel, we are all about the forward steps to not just heal but extraordinarily soar in our new abuse-free lives.
So, let’s get onto this week’s topic.
Ok, after narcissistic abuse recovery there can be this thing … a lull, a feeling of ‘who am I now?’ We were so clogged up with trauma and surviving, that after working hard to excavate it out – if we are working with NARP – there is all this space inside us that can feel a lot more pleasant than trauma … but it’s unfamiliar.
When we have shovelled out our previous identity that may have been attached to previous outer attachments, that are all now gone, we have a fresh slate that may really not have much to it, in the way of an identity yet. And that can feel weird, vague and directionless … and definitely empty.
This may make us feel like we have to get ‘out there’ and make something happen in order to give our inner void feeling some substance, yet often – at this stage – all of our attempts to do that feel flat or leave us coming up empty with this feeling ‘Well that wasn’t it!’
Since my human life has become totally Quantum, no longer do I ever believe the answers are ‘out there’. I truly believe all of it, without exception, is born from within. And … I’m such a fan of inner alignment to get to the truth of how to engineer our life from the inside out and successfully integrate with Quantum Law – so within, so without.
Initially getting linked into how to really make the cogs of life work for us instead of against us is totally counter-intuitive to doing what we think we should be doing.
Ok, so to really cover off this topic today – we need to look deeply at all the foundations. So, I am going to talk to those of you still in narcissistic abuse pain as well as those who are in the stage of ‘what is next’.
Let’s dive into this: In the past, as beings living life from the outside in, we needed something or someone to have in our life in order to feel whole. And then with what we all went through as a result of narcissistic abuse, we lost that something or someone anyway and came back to square one – empty.
But there was a massive purpose for that, and that purpose was to turn inwards and integrate – meaning to finally self-partner with, love and accept ourselves. The only way to really do this is to meet ourselves warts and all – meaning traumas and all. And be fully with ourselves unconditionally, meaning no more self-abandoning or self-avoiding and trying to get other people and things to take the pain away.
It is only through this conjoining with our underworld, our true inner being, no matter what the state of it is, that we get to graduate from our Old False Self (distorted by human trauma) to start claiming the power, magnificence and miracles of our True Self. This is the hero’s journey, which many people never take, and the people who do wonder why they didn’t do it earlier.
What is our true power? It is the knowing of how to work with the Universe inside of us to unfold it out into the Universe outside of us. At a Quantum Level, this goes way beyond Law of Attraction stuff, which I truly believe has many gaps in its philosophy.
Quantum Law is all about growth and graduations. It is about ‘be’-coming and accepting and integrating all of the stages we are perfectly in, as we be-come.
During narcissistic abuse, our purpose was integrating with ourselves to survive and recover, and for many of you, you may still be there. And it is so important to accept that mission and make your recovery and healing your greatest personal quest ever – because your entire life depends on it. In fact, you need to get a master’s degree in this, if you want to do a fabulous job and graduate with honours. If you just try to push through and spiritually bypass this stage of soul graduation with outer achievements and other worldly pursuits, you are missing the essential soul evolution lesson.
Which is: Releasing the Old Self who was battling with handing power away and trying to assign False Sources as your power source and therefore struggling to be authentic, self-generative, safe and powerful … into the be-coming of Who You Really Are, a person organically connected to the flourishing and nourishing of life, which wants for you exactly what you want, which is your highest super-conscious potential.
Meaning being able to generate your truest personal values, and therefore create and maintain true love and abundance which is your birthright to live. And unless we fully accept and nestle into this stage and really work with it, we don’t get the graduation out to the other side. If we condemn this stage, try to avoid it and hate it, we are stuck in there as long as it takes for our graduation to occur.
Sadly, for many people that may take lifetimes. I can’t tell you how sobering that was for me – that totally made me say ‘Inner work here I come, I am NOT doing this for lifetimes on end again – NO way!
Okay, the total mission and purpose after narcissistic abuse – Number 1 – is: meeting and healing our inner being, period. There is nothing and no one more important than that. You are not just evolving your soul, you are literally saving it as well as saving every future soul and generation that could be impregnated by you leaving unhealed trauma in your soul – which is another sobering thought.
But after narcissistic abuse, and working really hard at our recovery, we may be very surprised that we have not just started generating all that great stuff yet. And, we may feel an inner emptiness, or even feel like a ship without a rudder, directionless and purposeless.
Here we have another level of the Quantum game of be-coming to graduate through.
Imagine you are a character in a computer game, and you are on level 6 … and it’s barren and dark and you can’t see anything. You want to bypass it, you don’t want to play that level, yet until you settle into it and find its components and master it, you can’t get to level 7.
What you may not have realised is that you are in a level of dark/light alchemy. From space comes pure potential. In the nothingness is the seed of everythingness. In this void of ‘what’s next’ is space itself that holds the pure potential of your entire highest life … which is so much more superior and powerful than the false substitute of trying to get out of the void and then bring something else back in it to fill it up.
Are you sensing what I mean? Because some part of your cellular knowing knows what I am saying is true, that the universe inside you is the space of infinite consciousness that you need to integrate with in order to unfold your highest potential, callings, joy, abundance and true soul purpose in life.
And I’m not talking about sitting with your legs crossed and eyes closed ohhming every morning until the answer comes to you. I am talking about doing something so much easier than that, which is exactly what I did when I started opening up to and allowing pure potentiality to start flowing through me.
What I am suggesting, in fact urging you to do, in order to unlock this next stage of your be-coming, is to align your belief systems to Quantum Truth. So that the old limited you, who couldn’t even conceive, formulate and much less engineer all the permutations necessary to bring about your highest life, gets right out of the way.
Nothing less than subconscious reprogramming can get us there I believe – because truly our old human conditioned beliefs, have stripped us of our true God-self power and have thwarted us aligning with the truth of Who We Really Are and what we are capable of producing.
Okay, these are the previous beliefs that most of us carry in our DNA that I believe need to be released out and replaced with the true powerful inner identity beliefs that I list after these:
‘My life requires struggle, hard work and suffering to get ahead.’
To be reprogrammed with:
God / Source / Creation wants for me and grants me what I want for me, which is my greatest love, joy success and abundance.
‘I have to try to think up what it is that I am supposed to find.’
To be reprogrammed with:
All of Life flowing through me brings the feelings, inspirations and the ways to bring Who I Truly Am, as my most magnificent self into physical expressed reality.
‘I have to work out what the world needs me to be.’
To be reprogrammed with:
I am bringing forth my unique contribution which is what the world needs from me.
Okay, so this is the thing … if you know your calling and direction, then all you need to do is keep clearing away, within your subconscious, the limiting beliefs that stop you from being that person.
Growth and be-coming and getting to the next evolutionary game level are all about breaking through previous comfort zones, being and doing who and what we never have before.
If this is a soul calling you, absolutely you have what it takes, even if you have never done these things before – I promise you your soul has a human collective as well as a past life cellular memory, it is already a master at these things, wanting to express the truth of who you already are.
So many of us, in this time, have come here to do what we didn’t get done last time, and I can almost feel souls stirring in deep recognition of this. It is your time Dear Soul to unlock, remember and be who you really are!
If you don’t know yet what your directions and purpose are and if you are still healing from abuse, please know this: You are your purpose; the healing of your inner universe. That is the NARP work or using another deep-body modality that can release and reprogram trauma from your Inner Identity.
If you have done this, and you are up to the next level, the place of ‘who am I?’ and ‘there seems to be only emptiness now’ you are up to the stage of working with the belief systems that I have granted you today – which are exactly the same ones I reprogrammed within myself.
And, as well as doing those ones, I would suggest setting up the Goal Setting Module in NARP and clearing all resistance to the goal ‘I am totally at one with the nothingness within, which contains my truest and highest life and be-coming.’
That’s powerful stuff when you do that!
I promise you, when you just are this alignment for the sake of being the alignment, not attached to any outcomes, your true life will appear and start flowing through you so powerfully you will have all the energy, direction, purpose, support and ways that you could dream of.
Also, you can do lots of specific reprogramming to bring your new and true life into reality in my Empowered Self Course which dovetails with this new ‘The Thriver’s Life Series’.
So, I can’t wait to partner with you on your comments and questions regarding this episode, and I’d love to hear how you feel about the new name ‘The Thriver’s Life’.
And remember, after narcissistic abuse recovery, gloriously we take it further!
Because we CAN!
Lots of love, bye bye.
Here’s the sixth in this series of unseen video snippets, where I share some bitesize pieces of information on the subject of narcissism. The paperback version of my critically acclaimed book Rethinking Narcissism, with updated material and resources was just released on July 5th, so if this subject interests you, you can buy the book here!
“The question is, is there any connection between narcissism and substance abuse and the answer is yes. There’s plenty of research that shows that people who have, say, narcissistic personality disorder, extreme narcissism of any kind– there are different kinds, but I can’t get into here because we don’t have time–that they are more likely to turn to substances. Again, it makes perfect sense. If you do not trust that you can depend on people for love, for caring, connection, you’re going to have to soothe yourself some other way. You can soothe yourself with narcissism, you can soothe yourself with a drug addiction. You can soothe yourself through gambling. These things don’t require people. Remember, the problem is if you don’t trust people and you’re not going to turn to them, you’re going to turn to things that you can control.”
“We can control our looks to some extent, people can become really practiced at it in fact. Extremely narcissistic people often are capable when they are very outgoing narcissists like the ones we think of earlier that I asked you to conjure up, those are the ones we think of but they are acquired introverted narcissists. Extremely outgoing narcissists are often capable of something called effective adornment, where they’re able to put themselves together and make themselves look absolutely fantastic, but if you don’t give them the opportunity to do that, they are about as good looking as the average person. These are things that we can control. Money, looks, whether we spend say, shopping, our presentation of ourselves as having a deeper sense of emotional pain than anybody else–yes, that can be a kind of narcissism. The one thing that we can’t control is whether or not we can depend on people–and that’s what extremely narcissistic people do not trust.”
As counselors, we come in contact with clients who are angry or heartbroken and oftentimes feel defeated. This sense of pain and loss is frequently realized in the forensic setting in which I work with parents who are desperate to rebuild a parent-child relationship that is severely damaged or estranged. I also work with children who assert that they never want to see or speak with one of their parents again. Continue reading…
Here is one woman’s story about enduring an emotionally abusive marriage and finding the courage to leave. There is a lot of truth to her message.
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I am a daughter of immigrant parents from Poland. Both sides of my family came to the United States after the war as refugees from the Soviet gulags in Siberia. As an immigrant’s child, I strived hard to excel in school and was the first to achieve a doctorate in my family. In 1983, I married another immigrant from Havana Cuba. We shared a commonality not only in family history, but we also were students at the Marquette University of Dentistry were I received a degree in Dentistry. In addition, to having one of the top practices in the country, we published, lectured nationally and internationally in dentistry and business.
My marriage lasted 20 years. I had never truly understood it until it was over. I had been mentally and physically abused… dragged down 12 steps on my back, by my ankles. The word was control. I had married a narcissist and never knew it until he took the minds of my four beautiful children from me during the divorce. It was parental alienation at its worse and I found myself at the mercy of the legal system with no resolve in sight. My attorney, the guardian ad-litem, the court appointed psychologist and the judge all saw the horrific injustice and yet did nothing. Could they do anything? I collapsed from internal agony.
It was at that point that I had to make the most momentous decision of my life. Because I live in a 50-50% state, both parents have custodial rights unless one parent is totally unfit because of criminal record or such. I soon saw that because of his extraordinary behavior and need of total control, he would make it impossible to co-parent and my children’s lives would be havoc. We had joint custody, but I decided to give him physical custody of the children. I felt if I took away the battle, he would stop the war, but he didn’t.