Jeff Bezos divorce

3 Lessons To Learn From Jeff Bezos’ Divorce

Jeff Bezos divorceThe celebrity divorce of Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos and his wife MacKenzie after 25 years of marriage has generated thousands of news headlines as legal experts are weighing in on what might happen to their $137 billion fortune. This split will go down as one of the most expensive divorces in history.

Although most divorcing couples do not have nearly as much wealth at stake as the Bezos family, there still are some lessons to learn from their breakup.

Get a prenup!

Perhaps the most important takeaway is how valuable a prenuptial agreement can be in the event of divorce.

Most of the Bezos’ fortune was built during the course of their marriage. Since the couple lives in Washington, which is a community property state, most of their estate is subject to a 50-50 split.

Although more couples are requesting prenuptial agreements, they still are an underutilized tool that could save many divorcing spouses from a lot of headaches and heartbreak.

Unfortunately, prenups often are seen as a precursor to divorce and a detriment to marriage. After all, no one wants to even acknowledge the possibility of divorce when wedding bells are ringing.

But with approximately half of all marriages ending in divorce, you would be ignoring reality if you did not take steps to protect yourself from the worst-case scenario.

“It is important to understand that agreeing to a prenup is not planning on your marriage failing; it is providing a plan for how to deal with the property of the parties in the event the marriage does not last,” said Cordell & Cordell Co-Founder and Principal Partner Joe Cordell. “It is only ever used in the event that the marriage fails, which could happen whether or not the prenup was signed.”

Cordell & Cordell understands the concerns men face during divorce.

For Jeff Bezos, it was impossible to forecast the enormous fortune he would go on to build when he and MacKenzie first tied the knot. However, you do not have to be exorbitantly wealthy to benefit from a prenup. Generally, prenuptial agreements can cover:

  • Property rights
  • Rights for alimony or spousal support
  • Rights for attorney fees
  • Retirement accounts
  • Each party’s finances
  • Ownership rights in regards to life insurance or disability policies

It is important to get in touch with a men’s divorce attorney who can help you determine what to include in a prenuptial agreement and to ensure that it is in fact enforceable. This important step is possibly the best way to protect yourself from a nasty divorce.

Affairs can cost you

A potential confounding factor in Bezos’ divorce is that he started dating news anchor/actress Lauren Sanchez during the separation period from his wife. It is uncertain, but that relationship could give his wife MacKenzie more leverage.

In this day and age, judges are rarely concerned with who is to blame in the divorce since no-fault divorce is now the norm, but that relationship could spur MacKenzie to push for more in the divorce settlement than she might have otherwise.

In most cases, infidelity rarely affects the distribution of assets or child custody determinations, but it could impact alimony or spousal support depending on your state’s laws. A cheating spouse may lose their right to alimony if an affair can be proven, even with a no-fault divorce.

It pays to work things out

Although Amazon stakeholders are concerned about what this divorce could mean for the company, it is somewhat encouraging that the couple is at least reportedly parting on amicable terms.

In a tweet announcing the divorce, Bezos stated they are remaining “cherished friends.”

However, just because the divorce process begins on friendly terms is no guarantee it will remain that way. Cordell & Cordell Fairfax divorce attorney Aaron J. Weaver says he’s seen plenty of divorces start amicably before quickly deteriorating.

“What I’ve seen in my practice is it’s not uncommon for parties to start out in a collaborative way seeking settlement and at some point in time someone gets rubbed the wrong way in negotiations, pushes away from the table, and then sometimes mud starts getting slung,” Mr. Weaver said.

The unfortunate truth is that the family court system is set up in a way that breeds conflict. Society should do more to support amicable divorce as it is in the best interest of both parties involved and especially beneficial as the couple co-parents together if they have any children.

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divorce recovery

How To Minimize Divorce Damage And Speed Your Recovery

divorce recoveryThe road to divorce recovery is typically long and arduous. Family court is set up in a way that tends to breed conflict, making amicable breakups tough to accomplish.

Unfortunately, the divorce process tends to be even more challenging for men and fathers. So many guys end up with alimony and child support payments that bleed them dry financially and far too many fathers are left with unfavorable child custody arrangements that limit the role they play in their children’s lives.

The stress and emotional turmoil of divorce increases the physical and mental health risks men are exposed to – divorce increases the rate of early mortality by up to 250 percent.

One of the reasons divorce wreaks so much havoc is that many guys make avoidable mistakes throughout the process that compound the damage. Here are some practical steps to take during divorce that can go a long way toward minimizing the harm done and speed your divorce recovery.

Meet with an attorney ASAP

There is a multitude of free information and resources available on the Internet that can be very useful throughout your divorce. There are literally thousands of helpful articles here on DadsDivorce and our partner sites, MensDivorce.com and MensRights.com.

However, most of the information you find while researching divorce online is generalized because every case is unique. It is difficult to determine how the laws and legal statutes are going to apply to your specific situation. It is a major mistake to try to resolve your case without the guidance of someone more knowledgeable on the topic.

You may have an aversion to getting an attorney involved and might prefer to handle the case on your own, especially if you and your ex are splitting on friendly terms. The problem is that the divorce process can cause amicable relationships to turn bitter without the help of legal professional to sort through the messy and confusing details.

At the very least, meet with an attorney for an initial consultation, which comes at a nominal free and sometimes is even free. This does not require retaining the attorney and can provide valuable information as you determine the next steps to take in your divorce.

The cost of a lawyer can be pricey, depending on how issues there are to sort out, but hiring an attorney who focuses on men’s and fathers’ rights is an investment that can save you from additional costs, headaches, and heartbreak in the long run.

Cordell & Cordell understands the concerns men face during divorce.

Prioritize self-care

A certain amount of stress is unavoidable in most divorce cases. It ranks as the second-most stressful life event a person can experience. So keep in mind during your divorce that there are likely going to be days you feel completely overwhelmed.

Regardless of how messy your divorce gets, you can do yourself a huge favor by prioritizing taking care of yourself. That means eating right, getting plenty of sleep, exercising regularly, and doing what you can to maintain your mental health.

If you reach a point where you do not know how to cope with everything that is on your plate, consider seeing a licensed counselor or therapist. Mental health professional can help you figure out strategies to manage your stress better than you ever though was possible.

Budget responsibly

One reason divorce recovery is such an uphill climb for many guys is that it is so expensive. The cost of attorney fees, alimony, and child support can wipe out your bank account, and it can take years to get back on your feet.

One of the reasons hiring a family law attorney is such a worthwhile investment is that they can help minimize the long-term monetary damage of your divorce. However, there also are some steps you can personally take to keep yourself afloat financially.

Come up with a realistic budget that you can stick to before, during, and after divorce that factors in all of your monthly costs and expenses. This will give you a clear understanding of the money you have coming in and where all your money is going to each month. Once you have a detailed budget put together, you can then determine whether you need to trim some expenses or find a way to bring in more income.

It also is critical to avoid any major purchases before your divorce is final. If you are in a dispute over child support or alimony, your wife’s attorney likely will take note if you were able to drop a bunch of money on a new car and that could decrease your chances of winning.

The post How To Minimize Divorce Damage And Speed Your Recovery appeared first on Dads Divorce.

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dads asking for child support

Should More Dads Ask For Child Support?

dads asking for child supportPerhaps one of the biggest, and most costly, misconceptions about the divorce process is that fathers are not entitled to receive child support. This notion is rooted in the outdated assumption that persists in family court that the mother is the caregiver and the father is the family’s breadwinner.

This stereotype is causing many dads to miss out on money that could be used to help provide for their children. While it is true that men make up the majority of child support providers, the number of stay-at home dads has nearly doubled since 1989, and nearly half of those men live in poverty. Moreover, some research suggests that women will soon be earning more income than their male counterparts.

If a father has sacrificed his career to stay home and take care of his kids while his wife remains in the workforce then it is only fair for that dad to ask for child support in the event of divorce.

Some dads feel a stigma about asking for child support. Others are unfamiliar with how to file for support.

Fathers should not hesitate to ask for child support if they need financial help raising their child, and they should educate themselves about how the system works so they know what to expect.

Who can ask for child support?

Typically, the parent who has primary custody is entitled to child support. Some states allow a parent to receive child support if custody is shared if the other parent makes more money.

Who helps with getting child support?

The child support system works a little differently in each state. In some states, a child support enforcement agency helps custodial parents seeking a child support order from the court. Other states only give assistance to lower-income individuals or who are receiving financial assistance from the state.

A men’s divorce attorney who focuses on fathers’ rights can assist dads seeking child support.

Cordell & Cordell understands the concerns men face during divorce.

What information is needed when requesting child support?

Regardless of whether you use a state child support agency or a family law attorney, you will need to provide certain information to obtain a child support order.

First and foremost, you will need the mother’s contact information with her last known address and place of employment.

It is possible you also will need to provide a birth certificate and proof of paternity.

Other financial information also will likely be required, such as information regarding your income and expenses related to raising the child.

How much child support will I receive?

Generally, state child support laws say that children are entitled to financial support from both their parents. Each state establishes its own set of child support guidelines that determine how much financial support a child will need that is based on several different factors.

These guidelines are used to come up with a basic amount of child support that the parent who receives it is entitled to. However, it is important to note that there can be special circumstances, such as medical expenses or high childcare costs, that justify the court deviating from the standard amount of child support provided by these guidelines.

Online child support calculators can help you figure out how much child support you might be entitled to.

What is included in a child support order?

Most child support orders will list how much monthly or weekly child support the other parent is required to pay. It also may note that the parent’s income will be automatically withheld from their paycheck to cover the child support payment. This step is useful in making sure payments are not missed.

What if my ex doesn’t pay?

There are typically a number of child support enforcement options if the other parent refuses to pay court-ordered child support.

By failing to pay, the other parent can be held in contempt of court, which has a number of potential consequences. Other enforcement mechanisms may include suspending the other parent’s driver’s license, intercepting tax refunds, reporting debt to credit bureaus, or garnishing wages.

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child support budget

How To Fit Child Support In Your Budget

child support budgetOne of the biggest challenges divorced dads face in the days following a divorce is figuring out how to budget responsibly.

Divorce is often very expensive. Even after the case is settled, there are lingering expenses such as child support and alimony that can affect your finances for years to come.

Many single parents have a tough enough time paying the bills and making ends meet. Court-ordered child support stretches your money even further.

If you find yourself stuck with payments you cannot afford, it is best to check with your divorce attorney to see if a child support modification is possible. It is common for financial circumstances to change after the child support order is issued, and if that is the case then it might be possible to lower the amount you are paying each month.

If a child support modification is not in the cards, then you may need to adjust your household budget to make child support more bearable. Here are some pointers that can help you organize your budget so you are not crushed by child support arrears.

List your fixed expenses

Write down your expenses that are consistent month to month. Fixed expenses typically include bills like your mortgage or rent, car and insurance payments, and utility bills.

Once you finish listing all your monthly fixed costs, you should search for expenses that you can eliminate. Maybe you don’t watch much TV and can do without cable

Reduce discretionary spending

After determining fixed expenses, you need to look at your variable costs. Come up with estimates that you spend each month on things like gas, groceries, entertainment, etc. These are areas where you might be able to save some money with some discipline.

For example, you can carpool to work or use coupons to cut down on your grocery bill. This is probably your best opportunity to cut your spending, so get creative and really think of ways you can reduce these costs.

Cordell & Cordell understands the concerns men face during divorce.

Create a budget you can stick to

Once you determine where all your money is going each month, create a monthly budget that includes your monthly child support payments. Before your month even begins, figure out where your money is going to go. Also factor in an amount for unplanned expenses such as car repairs, emergency health bills, and other odds and ends that invariably pop up.

Once you create a budget, stay disciplined and stick to it. Once you keep at it for a few months, it will start to get easier as this will become the lifestyle you are used to.

Find additional income

Unfortunately, even after trimming expenses and creating a monthly budget, many dads still find themselves with less money than they need to make their child support payments. In these instances, if you are unable to modify your child support order, it might be necessary to find additional sources of income.

If your schedule allows it, you might check into picking up a second job. Some fathers are just too busy to commit to a full-time second job, but there are opportunities within the “gig economy” to earn additional income. Websites like Fiverr provide an online marketplace for freelance services. You could also drive for a ridesharing service like Uber or Lyft. These services allow you to work whenever you want so you can keep your schedule open and earn additional money when you have some free time.

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child support

The Biggest Child Support Mistakes To Avoid

child supportDivorce is often complex, and even more so when children are involved.

Depending on you and your spouse’s financial situation, you might be required to pay child support. Divorce is expensive enough on its own, but the addition of a monthly child support payment is enough to ruin many guys’ finances.

There are a lot of misconceptions about and flaws with the child support system, and it is easy to fall behind on your payments and into arrears. When child support debt starts to accumulate, it might be worth checking with your divorce attorney to see if child support debt consolidation is a possibility.

To avoid child support debt, it is important to educate yourself on the intricacies of the system so that you avoid common child support mistakes.

Cordell & Cordell understands the concerns men face during divorce.

Failing to report changes to your income

Perhaps the most common child support mistake dads make is failing to report changes to their financial circumstances.

The amount of money you are bringing in dictates how much child support you are expected to pay. So if you lose your job, receive a pay cut, or experience some other change in income, you might be able to file for a child support modification.

Child support modifications can be tricky, however, so it is best to discuss with your family law attorney to make sure you understand what you need to do. It also is critical to act with a sense of urgency. Child support is not adjusted automatically when your income changes, so the onus is on you to take action.

Child support modifications also are not retroactive. Changes to child support orders only go back to the date the request for the change was filed.

Making payments outside court-approved methods

When issuing a child support order, the court will list the various ways child support payments should be made. Even if you and your ex divorce on friendly terms, it still is in your best interest to make the payments through a court-approved method to protect yourself.

For example, you initially might agree to pay your ex-wife child support directly. That might work fine for a while, but down the road you might have a disagreement and she would be able to take you to court for missed payments since you did not pay through a court-approved method.

Paying past the age of emancipation

Many divorced dads mistakenly assume their child support order will automatically end once their child reaches the age of emancipation. Unfortunately, that typically is not the case, and the payments will continue unless you take action to end it.

Furthermore, your overpayment is very hard to get reimbursed if it has been spent by the receiving parent.

The age of emancipation varies by state, so make sure you know what the age is where you live. Then, when that date approaches, contact your divorce lawyer to make sure you understand the process for terminating your child support order.

If you have any questions about your child support order or are worried about making a mistake that could lead to child support debt, it is a good idea to get in touch with a men’s divorce attorney as soon as possible.

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Is Child Support Debt Consolidation Possible?

child support debt consolidationFalling behind on child support payments is one of the quickest ways fathers can cripple their finances, especially in states that apply interest charges.

Child support debt can quickly snowball and lead to wage garnishment and in some cases even prison. Inherently, the child support system is especially harsh on low-income parents, so it is easy to fall behind.

When your bills start to add up and your child support debt grows, you might wonder if child support debt consolidation is possible.

If you find yourself falling into child support debt, it is critical that you act quickly to remedy to situation. A lot of divorced fathers are unsure what action to take. If that is the situation you find yourself in, you should get in touch with your divorce attorney so they can assess your options and help you decide on the best course of action.

Cordell & Cordell understands the concerns men face during divorce.

What are child support arrears?

Child support arrears is a term referring to past due child support owed to a custodial parent. Federal law allows states to apply interest charges if you owe child support arrears. Currently, 35 states apply interest charges. The interest rate varies by state, but can go as high as 12 percent.

Failing to make your court-assigned child support payments can lead to a range of consequences. Some common penalties for nonpayment include:

  • Warrant issued for arrest
  • Fines
  • Jail time
  • Garnishment of wages
  • Denial of tax refunds
  • Suspension of driver’s license
  • Exclusion from certain government benefits
  • Revocation of passport

Child support debt consolidation

If you find yourself stuck paying back child support, it might be worth considering consolidating your child support debt. If you are in a state like Colorado or Vermont, which charge 12 percent interest on child support arrears, your debt can quickly snowball, so it is a wise financial choice to utilize a low-interest-rate loan.

This is a fairly straightforward process. You take out a loan at an interest rate that is determined by your credit score and you adjust the term loan to get monthly payments you can afford. A longer-term loan will have lower monthly payments, but higher interest charges, while a shorter-term loan has more expensive payments but decreases the overall cost since interest is not as high.

After you are approved for a loan, you use those funds to pay off your child support arrears and avoid the penalties listed above. Then you pay off the loan and stay up-to-date on your child support payments to avoid new interest charges.

Personal consolidation loan

The best way to consolidate child support debt is with an unsecured personal debt consolidation loan. The reason an unsecured loan is such a good option is because it does not trade one risk for another.

Since it is unsecured, there is no collateral. If you fall behind on your loan payments, the debt goes to a collector who can take you to civil court, where you could be ordered to pay. However, the worst that can happen is wage or tax refund garnishment, so you are not facing potential jail time as you did while owing child support arrears.

Of course, as long as you keep up with the payments, it does not matter whether your loan is secured or unsecured. But if you have fallen behind on child support, money is likely tight, so that risk probably exists.

Qualifying for a loan to pay off child support

Qualifying for a personal loan to pay off child support all depends on your credit score. As long as you have decent credit, you should not have trouble getting approval. However, your credit score determines the amount you can receive and the interest rate.

Even if you qualify, that does not necessarily mean this is the best way to pay off your child support debt. First, you need to do some calculating:

  1. Figure the total amount of back child support you owe.
  2. Find out what the interest rate applied to child support arrears in your state. This will tell you how much money you need to apply for with the loan.
  3. After you apply, the lender will tell you the rate you qualify for during the underwriting process.

If you are unable to qualify for a loan large enough to cover your owed child support, this might not be the best option. If you can’t get a rate lower than the interest rate applied to your arrears, then there is even less benefit in consolidating. However, consolidation could be used to avoid jail time, and that might be enough incentive depending on your situation.

While it is important to act quickly when it comes to paying child support arrears, it is also critical that you know what you are getting yourself into before you take out a loan. This is a topic you should discuss with your divorce lawyer to determine whether child support debt consolidation is the most effective way for you to pay off your child support debt.

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child support

3 Misconceptions About The Child Support System

child supportCordell & Cordell Co-Founder Joe Cordell has talked extensively about the many flaws of the modern child support system. In theory, the system should ensure that all necessary expenses needed to raise a child are covered, but in reality it often drives a wedge between families and creates excessive financial hardship for many well-intentioned fathers.

If you are a father going through divorce who is going to receive a child support order, it is best to educate yourself about how the system works. By learning about the common pitfalls that trip up many dads, you hopefully will maintain financial stability and avoid accumulating child support arrears for unpaid payments.

Here are three common misconceptions about the child support system.

Myth 1 Child support payments can only be spent on the child

This is one of the biggest gray areas when it comes to child support. Child support is supposed to provide for a child’s overall care and wellbeing, but what contributes to their “care and wellbeing” often is a point of contention.

Generally, extracurricular activities, uninsured medical expenses, and educational costs are not included in the basic child support amount unless specifically noted in the settlement agreement. Typically, child support is meant to cover food, clothing and shelter.

However, courts usually trust that parents receiving child support will use that money on items contributing to their children’s well-being and rarely get involved in how the support money is spent. Unless there is evidence that the child’s needs are being neglected, most parents paying child support have little control over how the payments are spent.

If you constantly find yourself spending money on basic items, such as clothes or toiletries, when your children stay with you then this could be a red flag that your ex is misusing your support on unnecessary items. This might be grounds for filing a motion for contempt, and it is a good idea to get in touch with your divorce attorney as soon as possible to review your legal options.

Fortunately, there are family law attorneys who focus on issues that impact men and fathers. The divorce lawyers of Cordell & Cordell have been fighting for fathers’ rights since the firm was founded in 1990. Cordell & Cordell divorce attorneys understand the concerns fathers have about paying child support and can explain what legal remedies are available if their child support payments are being misused.

Cordell & Cordell understands the concerns men face during divorce.

Myth 2 Modifying child support is easy

There is a good chance that at some point it will be necessary to modify your child support order. This could be because your ex-spouse cohabits with another individual, or maybe your employment status changes and you can no longer afford the payments.

Regardless of the reason, modifying a child support order is no easy process. It typically involves going back to court and providing detailed information on past child support payments, and filling out dozens of documents.

Some fathers make the mistake of assuming that child support modifications happen automatically. Just because the factors that went into calculating your child support order change does not mean your payments change automatically.

A good example of this is what happens when a child reaches the age of emancipation. Common sense would dictate that once a child reaches the age of emancipation – age 18 in most states – the child support order terminates. However, depending on your state’s child support laws, you might need to file a supplemental petition to modify or terminate the child support obligation prior to the child turning 18 or graduating from high school.

The same is true if your or the other parent’s income changes. If there is a significant change in either you or your ex-spouse’s financial circumstances, it is important to be proactive.

The other thing to keep in mind is that child support modifications typically are not retroactive. Changes to child support orders usually only go back to the date the request for the change was filed. So if you are laid off on January 1 but do not file a motion to modify your child support order until February 1, then the court will most likely only consider changing the child support order back to the date you filed the motion.

One of the most important things fathers can do throughout the entire time they are paying child support is to keep accurate records of child support payments, medical reimbursements, daycare expenses, etc. Failing to do so can come back to haunt you if your ex ever denies receiving the child support payments you have made.

A good way to ensure you have accurate records is by taking advantage of state agency income withholding. This is probably the easiest and most reliable way to keep consistent records of your child support payments. You also can try setting up an automatic payment through your bank that provides an automatic memo field showing the payment was for child support.

It also is extremely important to get signed receipts from the other parent for your child support payments and other payments like daycare or medical reimbursements. Make sure to keep those records organized and accessible so you can easily find them when you need them.

The more accurate and thorough your recordkeeping, the more likely they will be able to be admitted as evidence. The rules of evidence can be complicated so it is important to consult with an attorney to help you prepare your case.


If you are a father going through divorce who is going to receive a child support order, it is best to educate yourself about how the system works.
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Myth 3 The child support system keeps the best interests of families in mind

Theoretically, the child support system is designed to financially support families who have gone through divorce. Ideally, such a system would be set up to put a child’s best interests above everything else. Unfortunately, that is just not the case.

The modern child support system was established by a bipartisan policy reform 40 years ago based on outdated stereotypes in which the father was the household’s sole breadwinner. Although more women are in the workforce than ever before, the child support system has been slow to catch up. Many dads still feel a stigma about asking for child support even when their spouse makes significantly more than them.

Perhaps the most problematic aspect of the system is the manner in which it is unduly harsh on low-income fathers. With 29 percent of families in the child support system living below the federal poverty line, many fathers just do not have the financial means to make their payments. If a dad goes through a rough patch and misses a couple payments, things can get real messy.

If too many child support arrears accumulate, the father can be sent to prison. While in prison, his child support payments do not necessarily stop automatically, and some states even consider incarceration voluntary unemployment so the debt continues to snowball.

This child support debt has the two-pronged effect of ruining the dad’s finances and driving him out of his child’s life. Research shows that men with outstanding child support debt are less involved in their children’s lives.

The system’s punitive nature is driven by the age-old “deadbeat dad” myth that really dates back to a 1986 CBS report titled “The Vanishing Family: Crisis in Black America.” The report featured a New Jersey father of six who bragged about skipping out on child support payments.

Not long after the report aired, Congress passed stricter child support enforcement practices, and that trend continued in the ’90s with President Bill Clinton’s Welfare Reform Act, which gave the government even more power to collect child support payments.

Although there certainly are irresponsible fathers out there, research indicates there are far more who want to do whatever they can to support their children. According to a U.S. General Accounting Office Report, 66 percent of all child support not paid by fathers is due to an inability to afford the payments.

Many of those dads who miss payments still try to find ways to do what they can to support their children. A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that many of the most economically disadvantaged fathers still tried to provide in-kind support such as baby products, clothing, food, and other non-monetary contributions.

“I know most of these men are not bad people; they love their kids, they want what is best for their kids, they want to be there for their kids,” Mr. Cordell said.

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