Narcissistic Abuse Is A Journey… But It Doesn’t Take As Long As You Think

Narcissistic Abuse Is A Journey… But It Doesn’t Take As Long As You Think

 

I don’t subscribe to narcissistic abuse recovery being a long drawn out process, simply surviving the effects of it, AT ALL.

Maybe you’ve been told that to heal from Narcissistic Abuse is a LONG hard road that could take you many years and even decades? And even then you will need to manage your symptoms – possible for life?

In today’s Thriver TV episode I want to help you heal – REALLY heal!

So, join me on a journey where you’ll experience deep soul mantras that will start to set you free in times and ways you never thought were possible.

 

Video Transcript

I know it is really normal to believe that recovery from narcissistic abuse is going to take you a really long time.

People will tell you that; people report this all the time.

And the reason they do, is because if the trauma from narcissistic abuse remains inside us, then it takes a long time to move past the insidious effects of it, and that’s if we can at all.

But there is a better way to do this journey of recovery.

A faster, more direct way that works. And this is what I want to talk with you about today.

It’s the way I recovered and thrived from symptoms and life events that seemed unhealable. It is also the Thriver Way that so many people, thousands in this Community, have successfully used as well.

It’s about mind and heart perspectives.

It’s about truths that set you free.

And these truths are everything.

Okay, before we get started, thank you everyone who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Now, to get started, I want to share with you the understanding of trauma and what it really means, along with how to switch to a Quantum understanding of it, to be in the driver’s seat to heal for REAL!

 

The Trauma of Abuse and What It Really Is

The trauma from abuse is horrific, and the trauma from narcissistic abuse is arguably the worst of the worst. It feels like a terrible black ink permeating your mind and emotions, which literally eats our soul alive.

When this horrifying trauma strikes, people are shocked that they can’t just ‘get up and on with it,’ like they possibly could do in the past.

What is this trauma really about?

It is about every inner survival fear and insecurity that any particular human can carry being FULLY activated, separating us from our True Self and Life.

The more power we hand away to False Selves (narcissists), rather than partnering directly with our Inner Being and all of Life in Quantum connected ways, the more we feel separated and cut off. We feel controlled by the narcissist, and everything we do is at the whim of what this False Source is or isn’t doing.

These people don’t provide us wholeness, solidness and safety. Instead, they bring to conscious life every unconscious fearful, limiting and generational past life and human collective wound that has been unmet and unhealed within our subconscious programs and psyches.

As human beings, these have all been a part of our human experience.

And it is these inner parts that they hook us in with, terrorise us with, and keep ripping us to shreds with.

These are the exact reasons we stay enmeshed and addicted to narcissists. It is why we are unable to let go, create healthy boundaries and render these people incapable of continuing to hurt us.

Here is the thing … when we don’t understand the truth that sets us free, then we are in for a long, hard road to recovery.

I really want to share with you this following truth. It is fundamental to you starting your recovery, or resetting it, in a way that will provide you a direct, straight line out to the other side – to your emancipation from pain and then Thriving.

Please repeat this after me.

‘This person in my life has found and is targeting and smashing the EXACT wounds that are holding me separated from my True and Thriving Life. If I stop making it about THEM, and make it all about ME and turn inwards to fully own, claim, release and heal from these wounds, then this person will have NO power over me.’

Feel this in your body.

It is the absolute cellular truth that your Inner Being KNOWS it is the truth. And you can only align with this truth if you are prepared to get out of blame and shame, looking outwards and working through your ego – which adores keeping you separated from yourself.

What we just said together is a coming home statement, which means you get into your body and start working with the one entity that you can control – you. They open you up to taking your life and your power back.

Now let’s move on to the next fundamental understanding of trauma that will set you free.

 

The Purpose of Trauma

To set the scene for this understanding, I really want you to know that Source/Creation/God wants for you EXACTLY want you want. Additionally, your soul wants to set up all the conditions to help you align with BEING the actual being who can generate this in your life.

The system of ‘so within, so without’ means that your inner composition needs to have the corresponding belief system to be able to experience what is desired as your real-life experience. Subconscious programs are absolute. They generate with life the validity of the belief system to the letter, without any preference or condition.

So, what this means is: the things in our life that aren’t working, including HORRIBLE abuse, must have a corresponding inner trauma connected to it.

If you want to remain victimised, you won’t want to accept this truth – which is totally understandable (I used to be there too!). But what this means is that there is no way out of the agony of more victimisation, powerlessness, and pain. And this is why I am so passionate about you Going Quantum and finding a way to free yourself from the victimisation, the pain and the ongoing trauma that DOES WORK.

This is done by knowing that the trauma you are feeling, which the narcissist is smashing mercilessly, is the signal of the internal beliefs and fractures that are the barriers to your True Self and True Life.

It is powerful beyond measure when we stop condemning the trauma and instead KNOW that every emotional trigger felt is granting us our greatest emancipation opportunity. It is your key to freedom. You are being led UP and OUT of what you are currently experiencing. But not only this, it is opening you up to the ongoing possibility of emancipation from established patterns and further limits in your future.

I ADORE this next mantra, which I really want to share with you because it encapsulates perfectly what I’ve just been saying. So, repeat after me:

‘I bless and accept this trauma as Divine and so meant to be, because I know that it going off in my body is letting me know exactly what to turn towards, load up and release to emancipate and exalt my life way beyond the life I am living. Because of this trauma becoming consciously known, I CAN claim my True Self and Life free from these wounds and limits.’

Okay … breathe and feel this cellularly in your body. Your body knows it’s true, if you open up, breathe and allow this statement to soak through you.

I promise you that is my credo – I adore and embrace all my triggers. I love them. I know their purpose. I know that my soul and all of Creation is totally geared to flourishing me with my True Self and Life. And what this means is that anything that is NOT just that, will come up as dense, painful energy to release and live free from, so that I can make inner space to experience Who I Really Am.

I know it can seem really tough, but it’s so important to bless this time and honour it. Because, truly, you are not just shedding months or years of trauma, you are releasing generational, childhood, past life and collective traumas.

Without this method, it will take you lifetimes to release all these accumulated traumas…

If you ever could.

You are also releasing trauma for humanity itself. Each time you shift, you are freeing the collective from internal programmed wounds.

We are on Divine assignments here, and I promise you that when you embrace it and bless it, you are on your way to fast-track recovery.

Now I want to talk about why breakdowns are vital.

 

Breakdowns Leading to Breakthroughs

If you were to build on an allotment on the site of an old, broken-down house, the most effective way to do this would be to demolish and rebuild.

The same applies with the emotional traumas in our life.

Of course, it is terrifying to let go of what we know and to allow the breakdown/breakthrough process to happen through us.

Yet, I want you to know, with all of my heart, that night-time is it’s darkest just before daybreak.

It is when we are in the worst possible breakdown, thinking that we cannot handle any more pain and darkness, that we are totally on the cusp of the breakthrough – IF we let the breakdown energy of the old GO.

As humans, this has been our greatest struggle – to recognise the divine order that is always generating wellbeing, if we get ourselves out of the way.

We miss these breakdown opportunities. We freeze, hang on to the horrific inwardly triggered trauma, create defences around it, and even fight to righteously reinforce it in our lives. We have all the reasons why we should hang on to the trauma.

This is akin to being taken down a rapid river and not going with the ecological flow, but trying to stop the process, only to get smashed disastrously against the rocks.

Triggered trauma is your breakdown – it is telling you ‘This is NOT your True Self and True Life’. If you meet this trauma, feel the energy of it in your body, and then release it, accepting your breakthrough, then you fill where that trauma once was with Source. This is the shift in Quanta Freedom Healing and the main Quantum Healing component in NARP (Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program).

The breakthrough happens within (in your Inner Universe) before it happens without (in your Outer Universe).

This means your emotions regarding the trauma must FIRST shift before the situation in your life can.

How do we know that we have successfully midwifed a breakdown to the beginning of our breakthrough?

We know because the feelings of negative emotions, victimisation and powerlessness are gone and replaced with feelings of peace and inner calm. You may even sense that ‘everything is in perfect order, no matter what it looks like’.

People may think it is ‘magical thinking’ that a shift on the inside will change your life and how narcissists react to you.

But to think like this truly is NOT realising the grand ramifications of the shift you achieve inwardly.

When you become different, your life becomes different. And this has nothing to do with what other people are or aren’t doing, because what has changed is HOW you respond to them as a different being.

As the Quantum Creator of your Life, you are always generating your life to the letter as per your beliefs, choices and actions – whether unconsciously or consciously. Narcissists in our life experience are giving us the evidence, in hardcore brutality, of what we must clean up.

When you shift to inner calm – your beingness WITHOUT that trauma – and make this inner calm your highest priority, you will discover your emotional triggers become significantly reduced or even non-existent.

You stop being derailed by your wounds. You cease to react in ways that hand the narcissist the narcissistic supply that incites them to keep wanting to abuse you for more narcissistic supply.

By cutting off narcissistic supply, and building your own inner integrity and power, you take back your power. And then you discover that you have aligned with all of the Field on that topic you were previously struggling with.

All of a sudden solutions and support show up where there was none. The right ideas, inspirations, people, synchronicities, information and events will come into your life experience to support you and to add to your wholeness and freedom (because you are BEING that BEING on the inside).

When you live this way of life consciously, you know these are not opportunities to be missed.

This is beyond powerful.

Okay, let’s anchor into this Quantum Truth by repeating the following mantra together.

‘I know that when I am in my darkest, most painful times, if I pledge to meet it and release it and bring in my Light to replace it, that I will powerfully and quickly transform to a New Self, generating the Life that I was always meant to live. And so it is amen!’

Now, after feeling that statement in your body, I would love you to pause this video and tell me in the comments below how this feels for you? Does it feel congruent in your body, or do you have some doubts and questions still?

 

The Way to Thriver Recovery

The three perspectives and understandings I’ve just shared with you, in my opinion, are the biggest and most impactful – they change everything about recovery.

It doesn’t mean that the road to recovery is always a straight line and always easy.

Absolutely it’s inner self-work; it takes effort and full, loving self-commitment. But the results are not just amazing – they are life-giving. They promise, hold and then deliver the only life that was ever going to truly gratify us – a life of living free of our limiting beliefs and wounds.

I feel so blessed every day that I have the best, most gratifying and glorious job helping people achieve a way of life, which narcissists have forced us to find, so that we can save our souls.

Furthermore, I personally live this life every day as a complete Quantum lifestyle.

It’s the only life I’ve ever found that really works – and it continues to bring me such joy every day. So much joy that my heart can barely hold it all.

I want that for all of us.

Those of you already NARPing – if you require assistance to get your Thriver Recovery going, please come into the Private NARP Member’s Forum. Here you have unlimited, free lifetime support from the best Quantum Abuse Recovery Specialists in the world.

To access this please click this link.

And, for those of you ready to start NARPing, because you want this True Life too, please check out the complete Program now by clicking this link. 

I so hope this video has helped.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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Narcissist Who? Becoming Apathetic To An Abuser

Narcissist Who? Becoming Apathetic To An Abuser

 

It’s a beautiful day when you feel NOTHING for an abuser and it’s called ‘You are NOT my reality’.

We all WANT to get there, and I know that includes YOU!

You can be forgiven for believing, because of how traumatic, painful and devastating the abuse is, that it will be IMPOSSIBLE to get there.

I once believed that too … but I promise you this is NOT true.

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I am going to help you understand EXACTLY how to get to this place of complete EMOTIONAL FREEDOM from abusers, that myself and so many Thrivers enjoy.

 

 

Video Transcript

I LOVE it when we get to this powerful place…

‘You are NOT my Reality.’

People ask me all the time, ‘Will I ever be able to stop thinking about this person?’ and ‘Will I ever have an attraction like this to someone else?’ and ‘Will I ever be able to get him or her out of my system?’

I want you to know the answer is a resounding YES.

And today in this Thriver TV Episode I’m going to tell you exactly how to achieve this.

Okay, before we get started, thank you everyone who has subscribed to my Channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

So let’s start off with how you WON’T achieve this – just so you don’t waste your time.

 

Willpower Will Not Stop You Thinking About A Narcissist

If someone tells you to NOT think about something, the very act of trying NOT to think about it usually makes you think about it.

In fact, it is the same for any energy we try to put into opposition to something – meaning an ‘anti-movement’ where we actually feed energy to the thing that we DON’T WANT.

People say all the time, ‘I’m over that now!’. Believe me, when you hear this it is a sure-fire way to knowing that they aren’t over it at all.

Here is the deal with the way our subconscious traumas work – they control our mind. The brain is always following the body. The reason is that we are thrown into survival programs – those parts of our brain trying to keep us safe, are repeatedly thinking about the trauma living on inside us that is still hurting us.

This also relates to peptide addiction, meaning that we are literally addicted to the painful thoughts that we are having. It is because our brain wants to keep manufacturing the feelings, the emotions, and the somatically felt chemicals that match the trauma.

So around and around we go, continually thinking about what happened to us, how it could have been different, why we didn’t or couldn’t ‘whatever’ and, of course, the possibility and fear of it happening again.

In this state, we are locked down in survival and don’t get to ‘go free’ to find the space inside and outside of ourselves for creation.

It’s exhausting. Burning all that mental and emotional fuel on our past – the constant re-living of it and the trying to push over or through it. Is it any wonder our adrenals are stressed and that we don’t seem to have any energy, joy or inspiration?

This is the bottom line – if when you think about something you still feel the emotional charge in your body, then you will keep thinking about it. This is because your brain is being directed by your cellular being to do so. Your cellular being – your subconscious programs and nervous systems –controls 95% of your life. Trying to NOT think about this is like trying to stop a tsunami with a few sandbags.

If you don’t get to the bottom of why you think and feel the way you are, then the only way to escape the constant thoughts and feelings of the trauma and to get free, is to pick up addictions to numb it out or to take medication.

And generally we still keep getting driven back to abusers, as we try to get them to take away the trauma for us.

So how do we turn it all around … for REAL?

Make It All About You

Because we are usually the type of people who commonly get targeted and hooked in by narcissists, we have made a career of making it all about OTHER people.

This is our normal.

‘If I just check in with you and make you happy and provide you with what I need to, to prove my worth and lovability, you will provide me with love, approval, security and survival.’

Because we aren’t able to anchor into our own rights, values, deservedness and self-generative power, we hand away our own lifeforce as we try to make someone else love us.

Those of you already NARPing and Thriving, will get what I am about to say – which is a really radical way of looking at narcissistic abuse. In fact, it is counter-intuitive to what most narcissistic abuse people will tell you.

Here it is…

THIS is NOT about the narcissist – this is ALL about YOU.

When we look at things from a deeper, Quantum soul and spiritual perspective – everything happens for a reason.

Everything is happening FOR you.

The situations that come into our outer life are showing us what is going on in our inner life. The further we are out of alignment to our True Self and True Life, the more the situations, the evidence of misalignment, hurt.

When we come home and start making the decisions that honour our True Self and True Life, the pain and situations stop.

Yet no-one can bring us home but ourselves. And it’s our job to do this, as adults, regardless of what someone else is or isn’t doing.

Yes, what is happening is awful, and narcissists are terrible and do disgraceful things. However, us making it ALL about ourselves is NOT excusing them … it’s simply acknowledging the truth.

I got to evolve myself GLORIOUSLY by really believing and accepting this truth, and it is the basis of tens of thousands of personal resurrections that I have had the joy of witnessing and continue to see emerge in this community every single day.

The narcissist’s ‘purpose’, at a deeper, wider, soul-evolutionary level, is to bring all the ways that we are not as yet self-partnered within ourselves smack bang into our conscious, like a sledgehammer.

 

Waking Up In Order to Heal

Here are some of MY greatest gaps which narcissistic abuse put me firmly on my BUTT to heal, if I was to have any chance of living, let alone Thriving.

  • The ways in which I was so self-critical and self-punishing. (He reflected that back, and then some!)
  • My inability to connect with, be with and soothe myself. (When I was distressed, he mirrored this by abandoning or punishing me harder.)
  • My terror of speaking up because of my unhealed fears of criticism, rejection, abandonment and punishment. (I had no voice and stayed with the narcissist, trying to keep the peace continuously – even when everything was screaming inside of me not to.)
  • My fears and terrors of not being able to survive on my own. (My greatest fears in this department were brought to life by him.)
  • My fear of other human beings and believing ‘I’m not safe in life’. (I ended up with crippling agoraphobia and a psychotic/adrenal breakdown because of this marriage.)

My list goes on and on.

Here is the thing – these traumas were already in my energy field before narcissistic abuse. Many were inherited, past life and collective female wounds, that were further supplemented in childhood trauma because our childhoods match our pre-birth traumas. Then, in my adulthood, they all blew up into a massive crescendo.

Why?

Because my soul wanted to make the unconscious conscious so that I would finally WAKE UP and free myself of these traumas.

We may think narcissists are using us for narcissistic supply, which they are doing, but WHAT if we, at a soul level, are using the narcissist as the instrument to deliver the evidence of what we need to heal?

And what an astounding instrument they are!

Narcissists have an UNCANNY ability to zone in on EXACTLY what it is that we have missing within ourselves.

My stuff was about not loving, seeing or embracing me, and these beliefs were ones that he supplied me in spades! He seemed so TOUGH and STRONG – ‘Finally I’ll feel safe in life with you by my side!’ Plus his façade was one of ‘wealth’ – ‘Thank God I’ll never be destitute!’

Then, as narcissists do, he turned back on me ALL these gaps, my issues, with ruthless ferocity. And my response was to cling on as I tried to resurrect the original ‘saviour’.

Of course, in my situation, the narcissist abandoned me, both literally and mentally. He turned on me physically, emotionally and sexually, leaving me SOOO unsafe. And the financial abuse I went through left me desecrated.

Need I say more?

My story is your story. This lure and switch game is what EVERY narcissist does. But I promise you – this is still about YOU.

Here’s the important part…

When you heal, you will no longer cling to someone hurting you, because you will be whole and full of self-love and self-worth. You won’t need to.

When you are already SAFE in life within yourself, you will never tolerate being with or enduring people who are unsafe and abusive.

When you become a self-generative force, who knows how to create a life with other available healthy components, regardless of what any other person is or isn’t doing, you will let go of unhealthy ones.

Not only are narcissists reflecting back to us perfectly the physical, real-life evidence of our inner unhealed shadows – they are also engaged in a spiritual contract with us. If you let go of holding them responsible for your unhealed parts and turn inwards to do the work to evolve yourself, the soul contract is completed and the narcissist leaves your experience.

I promise you this is true.

You may say, ‘But I’m tied up in co-parenting.’

I can assure you that there are people in my community who very successfully parallel parent with the same narcissists who used to make their kids and their lives hell. They are able to do this because their soul contract with this abuser has been healed and completed.

These people are unaffected by the narcissist, and their kids are doing an amazing journey with a healthy evolving parent leading the way.

The stories of ‘this hell will never end’ are NOT true – no matter what you may logically think, what abuse forums may tell you, or even what anyone still not awake to their soul contract will tell you.

What IS the true determinant is ‘where your soul is up to’ (see, again, it’s ALL about YOU!). When you get on board with what your soul wants to be up to – your healing, growing and evolving beyond your traumas and painful subconscious programs to come home to Who You Really Are – then there is no need for the hard grist to keep happening.

 

Just Having Too Awesome A Time

We know we are graduated when we are deeply immersed in the embodied understanding that ‘Your abuse brought me to my own glorious evolution’, and this becomes our focus.

Personally, I’m so grateful narcissistic abuse happened FOR me because if it didn’t I wouldn’t be living the astounding life that I do.

I feel AMAZING. And I love unpacking ANY trauma that does arise, because I know, on the other side of it, my relationships with me, life and others will be much more amazing.

I never had ANY of that before narcissistic abuse. In fact, when I look back at the person I was, even before being abused, I don’t recognise her.  I used to hand power away, was always scared, never spoke up, put my faith and trust in others – often with really bad consequences – and subjugated my values over and over, all to try to be loved.

Was I happy and Thriving before my Thriver resurrection? No! I was merely surviving and I truly did believe life was hard, lonely, unsafe and hard work.

Now I ADORE Life.

So please, those of you who write in and say, ‘I’m sorry Melanie for what you went through’, I love your compassion, but there is no need to write this. I promise you, I would go through it ten times over, if necessary, to feel and live the way I do now.

Can you see why I’m so passionate about this topic? It’s because I know that all this awaits every single one of you – no matter what your circumstance – IF you make your situation all about YOU.

Because, then, like me, as you start releasing trauma by doing the inner work of purposefully evolving yourself – which is what my NARP Program was created for – then you will start LOVING your life too.

If you want this please write below, ‘I am creating MY awesome Life, and you are NOT my reality!’

You WILL see the joy and the beauty, and you WILL have feelings of love and wholeness and happiness, simply because you exist.

Things will start coming into view, and you will start flowing forward into your life as your True Self, experiencing things that you once only dreamed about.

This is what happens for all Thrivers in this community, who start releasing their inner trauma and painful programs. They reset back to Wellbeing, which is who we are all naturally coded to be. It is your organic state, no matter what your life looks like now.

Abuse and painful programs all dissolve away, along with the people and situations who represent them and all your connections, emotional or otherwise, to them.

Narcissists are ONLY the catalyst. If they hadn’t shown up to do the job on you, someone else would have had to come along to fill their shoes.

Have you ever wondered why narcissists KEEP coming?

Now you know why. It’s because you have been missing the soul contact – the necessary turning inward to do the work to evolve yourself beyond what is being triggered off in you.

When you do this, I promise you it will be: ‘Narcissist who?’ and ‘Woohoo, what is next to create and experience in my life?’

THAT’s the life myself and other Thrivers live.

Join us – seriously. I can show you how to start claiming your soul contact graduation today – by clicking this link.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always, I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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Why Is This Still Happening To Me? Overcoming Your Critical Recovery Blocks

Why Is This Still Happening To Me? Overcoming Your Critical Recovery Blocks

 

I know you may be FRUSTRATED! Recovery can be like that.

You may be thinking…

WHY on earth do I still have narcissists coming into my life?

WHY can’t I stop breaking No Contact?

WHY do the same issues keep popping up in my life, no matter how hard I try to overcome them?

Today’s Thriver TV Episode is about peeling all of this back, so that you can learn EXACTLY why these things are still happening to you and how to put an end to these pesky and painful in repeat things in your life – once and for ALL!

 

 

Video Transcript

Are you in the frustration of ‘Why Is This Still Happening to Me’?

Things like the narcissist not leaving you alone, the court cases still happening, or continually breaking No Contact.

Or maybe you are clear of that particular narcissist, but others keep cropping up in your experience.

Today’s Thriver TV is about ANY pesky thing in repeat that you want to be done with. Today I am going to explain to you exactly why this keeps happening to you, as well as how to break the pattern of repeating everything in your life that you don’t want to.

Okay, before we get started, thank you, everyone, who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Now, on to the episode!

 

You’ve Missed Something

Today’s episode is Quantum. It’s about radical personal responsibility – which means understanding that we are the generative source of our own experience.

If we stay unconscious and refuse to understand or accept this, then we are powerless to change the patterns and occurrences that are painful for us.

A lady I know is going through yet another disastrous breakup with a highly narcissistic man. With the last one she said, ‘I didn’t deserve this! I have no idea why this should happen to me. I didn’t ask for it!’ Now she is saying exactly the same things.

A friend of mine, who also knows this lady, agrees with me – that another narcissist is likely to be her reality in the future.

It’s not that we wish this for her – quite the contrary. And it’s not that she isn’t a nice person, because she certainly is.

Why we think this will happen is because she has within her Inner Being a heap of unhealed traumas. Traumas from her childhood and beyond that she has continually run from, kept busy to avoid, got over all ‘too easily’, and because she drinks and socialises to ease her inner pain.

The bottom line is – she’s never dealt with her unhealed traumas.

And true to Quantum Law – so within, so without – the unmet, unhealed traumas within her subconscious keep meeting her consciously via abusers in real life.

This is NOT her fault – that’s definitely not what we are saying – it just is what it is. She’s right – she didn’t consciously ask for this life or choose it, but her subconscious, unhealed trauma programs are choosing the same experiences over and over again.

I remember how I felt overwhelmed with grief and victimhood when I was smack bang in the absolute trauma of narcissist number two, having to face the fact that he was a narcissist. In my initial helplessness I was consumed with the thought, ‘How on earth did this happen to me again?’

It was my son’s wisdom that pulled me out of unconsciousness and back onto my soul mission of evolving myself. Zac said to me, ‘You’ve missed something that you need to heal Mum, and when you find it and do this, you are going to be bigger and better than you ever have been, and even more able to help people heal from abuse.’

He was right. I found and released myself from deep, abandonment terrors that I had missed, and survival fears of not being able to survive in life on my own.

You may ask, ‘How did you find them and heal them?’ And the answer is… The same way we all can – go inwards to ‘what hurts emotionally RIGHT now’ and use NARP as the Quantum Tool to find and release those traumas.

That truly is what we can do to resolve these things. To realise the truth as Buddha described it: ‘If you want to know what is going on in your inner world, look at your outer world.’

And if we STILL have things happening repeatedly that hurt, we missed the message.

We have missed something INSIDE.

Analysis Paralysis

I’m so fortunate in that I get to sing to you the same song day in and day out – because it helps me remember it too.

It’s this: ‘If anything in your life isn’t working then just go inside, find and release the corresponding trauma and you and your life will get well.’

Our logical brain does not want to accept this. It thinks it can’t be that easy.

Imagine if every blog I wrote just had that above solution and then I wrote ‘The end’.

Your replies would have been: ‘but…’ ‘but…’

As the former self-proclaimed ‘President of Over-analysis Anonymous’, I understand. Until I went Quantum and lived this way, with full dedication, I used to struggle with this concept myself.

If you relate to over-thinking, please let me know in the comments below. What would your title be in the Over-Analysis Anonymous Club? I’m President, who are YOU?

When we have things haunt and plague us that continue to belt us up, it is incredibly frustrating. More than this, we also may have hopelessness and helplessness attached. We may think we are doomed, that this is never going to stop, and that we are possibly defective and incapable.

I promise you all of these things are NOT true. It is your mind grabbing hold of the painful subconscious programs, and making stories that are in alignment with them.

Things like the lady I spoke of previously, whose internal program is: ‘I am unlovable and unworthy, and the people I love hurt me.’ To stop this story continually playing in her head, she keeps busy and keeps socialising. People may think that taking this approach is a healthy option, but subconscious programs will never change until we meet them lovingly and heal them. Up until then they simply continue to do what subconscious programs do – create in life the validity of the program, to the letter.

But let’s say we are NOT in denial, but neither are we directly addressing the trauma within with a simple and powerful shifting tool like Quanta Freedom Healing. We may get stuck in the ‘analysis paralysis’ of trying to sort things out by looking outwards instead of inwards.

You may spend hours researching, trying to work out ‘them’ – these people and situations that you are doing repeat dances with. You may blame certain people, or genders or ‘types’, and try to work out how to avoid them or change them. And all the time you are doing this instead of addressing your internal subconscious, heat-seeking missile programs.

The problem is our logical mind wants to understand everything. It wants to chew it over, toss it around and then come up with an answer.

When we Go Quantum, we simply shift out dense energy in our body, without even needing to know anything about WHAT it is, and then effortlessly be-come what we seek to live.

The shifts that have happened within us go WAY beyond what our logical mind could have grasped, let alone assimilated.

There is a vast difference between ‘thinking’ something and ‘embodying it and being it’. The irony with Going Quantum is that it is infinitely more powerful than what our logical mind can produce – and a thousand times simpler to create.

 

The Steps to Overcoming Your Critical Road Blocks

Step 1: Stop Looking to the Outside

When we Go Quantum, we know ‘there is no outside’ – meaning that everything and everyone who is in our experience is responding to our belief systems and how we are showing up in life. It is fruitless trying to change the 7.7 billion people in the world rather than work with the one person we do have power over – ourself.

Step 2: Go Inside and Do the Work There

I promise you, when you live this way of life whenever anything triggers you, or is problematic, or is a blind spot, you can ask yourself: ‘What is it within me that I can shift that is calling this forth into my experience?’

Please know this is not discounting other people’s bad behaviour or their inappropriate natures, when applicable. But by shifting you, you will completely change the way that you deal with them.

People like this are in the world and part of life, but when you shift it means that you can show up assertively, trusting your inner truth and creating boundaries, and you are able to say, ‘No.’ Hence the repeat experiences of handing your power away to people who aren’t honourable will completely leave your experience.

Do you see how none of this is to do with assigning blame to ourselves, and instead is about taking back our power?

Step 3: Leave Behind Victimisation and Dismay

If we want a comfortable, feathered nest to exist in, this planet isn’t it. Here we need to man and woman up and be in our authentic power to have a healthy, happy life. We are here to transcend our fear, our victimhood, and to be enlightened.

Narcissistic abuse and all the traumas that we need to face and release, in order to get vertical, breathing and functioning and THEN move towards Thriving, keep calling us forward into a conscious lifestyle of necessity. We are challenged like this so that we continually release the darkness from within and bring in more of the Light – which is our True Self and True Life.

It may seem like hard work, but as far as I am concerned, and I’ve lived both lives, there is far more work and time involved in staying unconscious trying to live and survive with our wounds.

We can get stuck in the blame and shame and dismay and frustration of having the same wounds come up again and again – I’ve had it happen too. But truly there is nothing else to do other than to ask, ‘What have I missed?’ and to dive inside and go find and shift it out.

Sometimes we will snap the core of the trauma off immediately; sometimes it may take multiple goes. But the great news is that we have the Quantum Tools to help us to get clear and live free with new, healthy patterns.

Okay, so I hope that this has given you hope, clarity and power, no matter where you are on your journey.

Those of you who are NARPers and feel that you are stuck and struggling with something in repeat, please come into the NARP Forum so that myself and the best minds in narcissistic abuse recovery can help guide you to find ‘what you have missed’.

Those of you who are not NARPers, I would love you to check out NARP so that you can learn more about this extraordinary Quantum Way of Life, which means living an abuse-free life – your True Life as your True Self.

To join me please click this link.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always, I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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The Definitive Guide To Going No Contact With A Narcissist

The Definitive Guide To Going No Contact With A Narcissist

 

Going No Contact can be excruciatingly difficult to do.

Narcissists are curly – they are very capable of manipulating, duping or guilting you into succumbing, and feigning the remorse necessary to get you back into the relationship.

Maybe you are feeling the intense trauma of loneliness, panic and longing … so much so that you can’t stop yourself caving in and making contact again.

Please know this is NOT your fault. You just haven’t learnt the rules and the HOW to deal with this yet!

It is completely usual for most people to break No Contact repeatedly. That is until they know the information that I am going to share with you today.And this is my greatest wish today, that this Thriver TV episode grants you the vital information to KNOW what an empowered No Contact looks like and HOW to do it.

I want you to be able to break away, stay away, and start your Thriver healing journey for REAL.

 

 

Video Transcript

Going No Contact with a narcissist can be such a difficult thing to do.

It’s not just difficult on an emotional level. Many people don’t know the practical steps to take to make it happen, and this is why I wanted to create today’s TTV episode for you – to help you understand and get clear about how to do No Contact as well as hold it.

Okay, before we get started, thank you everyone who has subscribed to my Channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

So … let’s dive in.

 

You Don’t Need to Explain That You Are Ending Contact

People ask me all the time, whether you need to tell a narcissist it’s over. My answer is this: if you do, make it the final statement and then block and delete immediately.

The danger, if you don’t immediately cease communication, is that the narcissist will throw a hand grenade at you – something that hurts you, hooks you back in, and gets you defending or justifying yourself.

You want to avoid this at all cost!

Going No Contact means that you have had enough. It means that you know there is no point going around in a three-ring circus of arguments with the narcissist anymore. It means that you know you have no choice other than to end the relationship, because it is not getting better, resolution isn’t ever going to be reached and that there is simply no point in trying – because nothing works.

More than this, No Contact is an act of self-love. It means, ‘I love me enough to save my life and my soul for this torture, devastation and destruction.’

In fact, what it really means is, ‘I am going to stop destroying myself.’

Going No Contact without explanation is absolutely fine. Actions speak louder than words.

 

Block and Delete

This is where we need to stand up to ourselves and not leave any lines of communication open. There will almost definitely be times when we will think, ‘I wonder if he or she is missing me; if he or she will get in touch’. Yet, truly, I want you to know, with every fibre of my being, our job in recovery is to release these thoughts and not to get mired down in them.

My Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) Healing System helps you powerfully achieve the release (if you are diligent about doing inner work with the Modules when these times strike).

When you know you have done No Contact to save your soul, you will know that it’s time to take the stand with yourself to block and delete this person. With all the technology now available, you have the ability to do this. And if you are not sure how, you can Google it.

Trust me. Block and delete is a great thing for you to do for yourself. You don’t want to be wondering every time you receive a phone call, email or a text message, ‘Is that him or her?’

Don’t answer unregistered numbers or random text messages. Just delete!

 

Vital Boundaries with Social Media

When you are serious about going No Contact, this means no stalking their social media. You have decided you can’t have this person in your life anymore, and your mission is to heal and create your own life.

There is no purpose or value whatsoever in looking on social media to see what he or she is up to. I’ll give you this tip: all of us who have recovered from narcissists have gone through being replaced with fresh and new supply. Until doing your Thriver healing work, of course, this can be excruciatingly painful.

You obsessing, trying to find out about what is going on in your ex’s life, researching the new partner and all the other things that can go on, are one of the surest ways to traumatise yourself and delay your healing into your incredible Thriver Life of real love and relationships.

Make sure you block all this person’s accounts so that you can’t see what they are up to. Also, block other people connected closely to him or her, or unfriend them, which leads me to the next section.

 

The Narcissist’s Friends, Family and Pets

The real questions here are: ‘Can you still see these people without having the need for any conversation about the narcissist?’ and ‘Are you concerned about what news may get back to the narcissist?’

I know you may be in the same social circles. Or maybe people from the narcissist’s life have been in your life for many years and you have close relationships with these people. Maybe you have been very close to the narcissist’s children, or even their pets.

I understand deeply the trauma of leaving people behind. I have had to do it myself. There is generally a great deal of loss involved when leaving a toxic, narcissistic relationship – both practically and personally.

However, this I know for sure, we have to be willing to lose it all to get it all – we have to LET GO. It is the hardest thing to do, but it is the only way that we get to reclaim our life, our soul and start generating our True Life.

Be very clear, to go forward there can’t be the muck – the conversations, the checking in, the staying connected by proxy. Yes, you may have to start again, but what a start it will be. Honour what your soul really needs – a complete detox of the narcissist – and you will be filled with glory, beauty and truth.

My suggestion is to break ties, as much as possible, and don’t get caught up in the anger or retaliation of ‘Why should I have to do that?’. It won’t serve you well. Only YOU making the moves that look after your soul and health will.

 

Keeping No Contact

It’s usual for a narcissist to try to get you to break No Contact.

Be aware that this will be attempted by getting to you through your ‘gaps’.

The narcissist may send a message to you, from someone else, about something sweet and lovely. A delivery of flowers may arrive. He or she will only be trying to appeal to your sentimental nature.

This could push your buttons, and you may feel guilty if you don’t reply.

Alternately, you may receive word of smearing and accusations, which the narcissist knows will make you irate and retaliate.

Or there could be a seemingly innocent request, through someone else, that you think is harmless.

The narcissist could send a message that he or she is sick or desperately needs your help; or that they have ‘seen the light’ and are willing to get help.

The list of ways a narcissist can hoover you back, goes on and on.

If you still have parts within you that you need to shore up, that are susceptible to being manipulated, you will be triggered.

My strongest recommendation in these times is to get very clear – if this person is a narcissist and meets the criteria that I share in this article Are You With A Narcissist? then they are not going to magically morph into a healthy, safe person for you to reconnect with.

Time and time again I hear reports from people who capitulated and went back hoping that things would be different, only to discover that things got worse.

To not fall for the hoover, it is vital to turn inwards to heal the triggers that are haunting you. You can then go free and be even stronger and more resolute about continuing to detox this person and move forward.

 

Enforcing No Contact

I love it when people get tough with narcissists.

When we are done, we are done.

And when we are done, we need to mean it. Yes it hurts; yes it is disappointing; and of course there is a whole lot of angst, uncertainty and fear in creating our new life. But when we know that going back is never an option – we mean it.

Myself and many others have had to get to the point where if stalked and confronted it’s like, ‘I am calling the police’. Meaning – you have by word or action told this person you wish no contact from them and that they are compromising your boundary.

You have the right to put an intervention order on someone who is harassing you, making you feel uncomfortable and is not respecting your personal self and your ‘no more’.

This is the thing… Narcissists feed off fear, like sharks do from blood. If you are not scared and stand up and enforce your boundaries, narcissists cannot be in your space. They will take their narcissistic behaviour somewhere else.

 

Being Fearless Moving Forward

People purport that narcissists never stop terrorising them.

This is NOT true

As Pema Chodron said, ‘Nothing ever leaves our experience until it has taught us what we need to learn.’

If you are stuck in trauma, unhealed beliefs, and fear, then yes the narcissist will keep terrorising you.

If you are diligently working on healing your inner trauma and belief systems, that the narcissist has made conscious for you, then he or she will leave your experience.

Your goal is to heal all of this so that you live authentically and without fear.

What does that mean?

It means this…

So WHAT if he or she tries to stalk me?

So WHAT if he or she looks up my social media?

So WHAT if he or she tries to smear me?

So WHAT if he or she does a drive by?

If you just keep releasing with NARP everything that is triggered, stay cool and calm, and get on with being yourself and doing your life, then it will all melt away.

Then you will heal and be free. And I promise you that the narcissist not getting any narcissistic supply from you – physically and even vibrationally (oh yes, please know that does feed them) – means they will have to go and hassle someone else.

 

For More About No Contact…

I really hope this TTV episode has helped you with how to navigate No Contact. If you haven’t claimed it already, please know that my 16-Day Course has a comprehensive guide on How To Do No Contact, where you can learn even more.

And it’s my totally FREE gift to you! No Contact is a vital piece of your recovery.

To claim, please click on this link.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always, I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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All You Ever Need To Know About Narcissists

All You Ever Need To Know About Narcissists

 

There is so much that we can learn about narcissists.

WHO they are, WHAT they do and WHY they do it.

Then there is all the narcissistic terminology to get our heads around – like triangulation, idealise, devalue and discard, and narcissistic supply and injury.

But today I want to condense this all down and let you know, in regard to a TRUE powerful and fast recovery, there is SO MUCH LESS that you need to know.

In fact, all you need to know about narcissists to fully embrace, embody and work with; to get away, stay away and get your True Self and True Life going, is ridiculously simple.

Find out WHAT that ONE thing is in today’s Thriver TV Episode.

 

 

Video Transcript

If you Google ‘narcissist’ there is so much that comes up. There is every topic imaginable about narcissists – narcissistic supply, their entitlement, why they pathologically lie; and all the catchphrases that go with them, such as smearing, triangulation, idealise, devalue and discard. The information goes on and on and on.

People get really into this information – and it can be fascinating. People also get addicted to this information.

The worse part about doing all this research is that people can avoid their evolution, emancipation and the claiming of their True Selves and True Life because of the information.

I find it very sad, when narcissistic abuse experts only talk about the narcissist, leading people into the belief that this will give them relief, healing, and wholeness – whereas it doesn’t at all.

Often it just makes people even more obsessed about narcissists, instead of them being their own healed and whole, powerful, self-generative force.

Today we are going to drill straight down to what you need to REALLY know about narcissists to get your great life.

Before we get started, thank you for supporting the Thriver Mission by subscribing to my channel, and if you haven’t yet subscribed please do. Also, if you like this video, please hit the like button.

Okay, let’s get to it.

 

What You DO Need to Know About Narcissists

There is only ONE thing you need to know about narcissists and it is THIS…

This person is not YOUR chosen Truth.

You may ask what that means?

What it means, is that this person does not have the character and the shared values to join with you in a productive, happy, sane and healthy life.

You may say, ‘It can’t be that easy and literal’. But I promise you it is. However, until we develop and heal ourselves to know that it is – it certainly doesn’t seem that way.

You see, the problem is that when we believe in scarcity, obligation, necessity, neediness or that we have the power to change people, we will try to look for the ‘loophole’. We hope that if we just learn more about someone who cheats, lies and abuses, then we may be able to cut a deal with them, fix them, survive them or completely reform them.

Quantum Law is very literal: ‘Whatever you tolerate in your life is your reality.’ Yet you may say, ‘But I don’t tolerate it. I am on to this person about their behaviour.’ However, you may not have realised just yet that Quantum Law looks at ‘tolerate’ very differently than our limited human viewpoint does.

In Quantum Law ‘tolerate’ means ‘entertain as your reality’. Anything that we grant emotional energy to IS our reality. The energy can be either good or bad. It’s the intensity that we are giving it that makes it ‘our reality’. If you are jumping up and down about the terrible behaviour you are receiving from the narcissist, which you declare is not your reality, the emotional energy you are expending on it is making it absolutely ‘your reality’. In Quantum Law you are in it, and therefore tolerating it. This is your reality.

The same applies even for non-narcissistic behaviours. Maybe you have someone in your life who wants to watch TV all the time, but you like to get out and about and do stuff.

If you believe you HAVE to make it work with this person, because someone else may not turn up as nice as them, then your only choices are to either force them to change against their will or get frustrated and upset with them because they don’t spend enough time with you. Or you will have to start enduring the boredom of watching a lot of TV to try to connect more.

Someone who watches TV constantly, while you love activities, is not your chosen reality either.

Can you see how senseless and unhappy the situation is? Just as it is pointless enduring a relationship with someone whose values of lying, being conscienceless, self-absorbed and malicious are not a match for your values of decency, honesty and harmony.

Can you see that trying to force this person (the narcissist) to change to make you safe and happy, or putting up with their behaviour to not be alone, is even more crazy than the previous TV watching example?

Truly, researching into everything about narcissism makes about as much sense as knowing everything there is about someone being addicted to TV.

Does it matter? Does learning all about narcissists and narcissism grant you any power to change it? No!

Does any understanding of it give you resolution with this person in your life? No!

Does your intricate knowledge of it give you the beliefs, inner solidness and development to let go of this person and live a life without this? No, it doesn’t.

In fact, all this research and learning about ‘them’ takes you further away from you be-coming your True Self and True Life and no longer living painful relationship patterns anymore.

 

The Real Need – to Know and Develop Stuff About Yourself

Let’s get really clear about this – if we don’t know our true values and limits, and don’t know how to say ‘No’ to characters and behaviours that are not healthy – it is because we received traumas and painful beliefs as children, from genetic wounds, past lives and our adulthood that made ‘abuse’ and ‘trying to survive within it’ our normal.

Until we resolve our inner Love Codes, which apply to all our relationships, we will not know how to be a solid source of our values to ourselves. Then things like peace, kindness, support, honesty, and the ability to pull away, look after ourselves, self-soothe and stay aligned with our values and truths, no matter what other people are or aren’t doing, will not be our reality.

It’s these internal fractures that make you logically say that you want ‘honesty, fidelity, genuineness, kindness and loyalty’ – all the things that narcissists aren’t – yet you stay hooked to them and can’t let go of them.

This is all a replay of the regression back to our powerless states as children – the infantile regression of ‘If I don’t stay attached to this person I will die, regardless of how they treat me’ and the past life terrors of ‘There are no other options than this. Without this person, I can’t survive; I will be annihilated or persecuted if I don’t submerge myself and give them what they want.’

Our Inner Beings are timeless, they don’t have the logical input to state ‘Hang on that was then, this is now – I am an adult living in a society where I can have rights and options.’ Rather, our nervous systems and emotional decisions are hijacked by unresolved previous trauma.

It’s all unfinished business, and the only way to heal it to completion is between you and your Inner Being – meaning going inwards to release and up level these traumas from where they reside.

Then, and only then, do we move beyond the trap of the powerlessness, of staying attached for literal survival to someone who is destroying us. When you start aligning to your True Self, the person you are without these old trauma patterns, you will become a force of survival directly through yourself and the unlimited permutations of all of Life.

 

Your Values

A really powerful exercise to do to help you uplevel, is to connect to and write down your values. If you are not sure what your values are, write out all the things that have hurt you in the past – the patterns of bad treatment you have received – and then write down the opposite.

So, your list of values will probably be something like mine: honesty, fidelity, truthfulness, kindness, respect, validation of feelings.

Pause this video, connect to which ones are true to you, write them below and share them with all of us.

Now let’s get very clear, words on their own aren’t that powerful. It’s the action that makes them so. The action required here, for you to live your reality and be the generative force of what you do wish to receive, is to no longer tolerate what are not your values.

You shape your life from your inner power and truth, when you can take the actions to align with your truths. What you tolerate will be your reality. What is not your reality are things you no longer fight with, roll around in or live with. You detach and move away.

Like a stinky carcass on the side of the road it’s, ‘Ewww not for me!’

You don’t prod it and try to bring it back to life!

Okay, so here we start looking at your REAL development – which you will NEVER get to if you are stuck in finding out everything you can about narcissists. That’s Wrong Town. Right Town is the turning inwards to ask yourself these questions:

‘Why am I handing away my power by tolerating people and things that are less than my values?’

‘Why am I making excuses for staying instead of walking away and saying, ‘If this rises up to meet me at my values I may look at this, but if it stays the way it is currently I never will.’

And, ‘Why am I choosing to hang on to the hope that someone’s character can be different, when they don’t have the capacity or desire to change?’

When you go deeply inside, the right way, you will find painful beliefs and traumas that have been causing you to stay, make excuses and roll around in this stinky carcass.

 

The Deeper Truth About Why You Are Stuck In It

As I discussed in my two part series – The Proven Way to Heal Toxic Relationship Trauma – belief systems are incredibly powerful. We know we have painful belief systems, which are causing us to play out in life what doesn’t serve us, when we can still feel existing trauma within our bodies on certain topics.

Here is the deal… You may have pulled away from someone who is a liar, malicious and self-absorbed – saying this is NOT my reality (I won’t stay attached to it anymore) – yet you find that future relationship possibilities are not going well. You may be triggered by people’s behaviour that represents the same pattern, and be filled with the dismay ‘these people are everywhere’.

You may feel despondent because humanity seems flawed, and you can’t seem to escape the terrible reality of painful, unwholesome relationships being in your life. You may think this is as good as it is gets; or maybe that you are going to have to accept things like this to not be alone.

Or maybe you just keep calling out these awful things and stay terminally alone – rather than risk being abused again.

These are all the by-product of internal traumatic beliefs playing out – things like ‘The people I love hurt me, lie to me, cheat on me, abuse me, betray me…’ Of course the list goes on and on.

Our subconscious beliefs do what they do – they play out to the letter – especially if they have big emotional trauma energy connected to them. As far as I am concerned, interpersonal trauma is massive. It carries powerful emotional content, hence why it is almost impossible to recover from it logically.

So how do we know that we still have painful inner beliefs having their way with us – even if we are strong enough to leave someone who is not our ‘values’?

We know because:

  • What they did to us still triggers a lot of trauma energy in our body when we think about it.
  • We will have, come up, a lot of what happened to us, emotionally.
  • We see the evidence of these traumas still in our life.
  • We greatly fear this happening to us again.

 

Be-Coming Someone Different

I promise you these trauma and painful beliefs are still our reality – if they are still in our Being. If we ‘be’ something (in our Being), then it ‘comes’. This is why we need to ‘be-come’ someone different. And there is only one place to be-come different – on the inside of ourselves.

And this is exactly where my Thriver Healing processes come in – the reprogramming of the trauma energy and belief systems that are hurting you. The reprogramming is so that the traumas no longer exist, and you evolve beyond them into different Love Codes and relationship trajectories.

This creates the following states:

  • You know your values and align with them.
  • You no longer tolerate less than these values.
  • You are no longer carrying unresolved trauma regarding the violation of these values.
  • You can truthfully ask for what you want, lay boundaries and walk away from people who can’t meet you at your level of truth.
  • On your own you are solid and whole, living the truth of these values of self-care, self-love and self-respect to yourself.

Okay, so after all of this understanding today, I’m interested to know where you have shifted to. Is knowing all you can about narcissists still an obsession or addiction for you, or is that information, now, as appealing as a stinky carcass?

Please let me know in your comments below

So if it’s time for you to start the real inner work – to sort this out in ways that are more powerful and faster than you yet know – please join me by clicking this link.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always, I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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How Narcissists Keep You Sick, Traumatised And Helpless

How Narcissists Keep You Sick, Traumatised And Helpless

 

Many people are shocked by how sick, traumatised and helpless a narcissist makes them feel.

Even if you have completely gone No Contact, it’s as if the abuse lives on inside of you – like some terrible virus.

And, of course any contact or news can be like a new batch of poison coursing through your Being.

What is going on here?  How can we get out of this?

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I share with you a very important story that is all our stories. It is my greatest wish today, that this story offers you an incredible opportunity to understand deeply what being sick, traumatised and helpless really is about…

As well as how to HEAL from it for REAL

 

 

Video Transcript

I know that you know what it feels like to be stuck in the continual obsession of someone hurting you.

It feels like they are under your skin, crawling around inside you – and your brain is frantically trying to find some solution to the psychic infiltration; the terrible sickness that has infected you.

I remember feeling like this.

I see people still stuck in this every day.

In today’s Thriver TV, I’m going to share with you an important, real-life story that just happened.

This story is not just this lady’s – it’s yours and mine and everyone else’s who has been narcissistically abused. We are truly all in this together.

It is my greatest hope today that this story brings you the answers, peace, and power to get out of feeling sick, traumatised and helpless at the hands of a narcissist, forever.

All right, so before we get started I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for subscribing to my channel and helping support the Thriver Mission and way to heal. If you haven’t as yet subscribed, please do. And if you like this video please give it a thumbs up!

 

A Beautiful Person Who Is Hurt

I talked to such a lady a few days ago. A friend of mine – a lovely kind, giving, caring lady. She is in her sixties, and she adores her children and her grandchildren. This is a lady who loves unconditionally; who would give the very clothes off her back for other people.

Yet she is plagued, infected and suffering every day with the trauma of the narcissists in her previous and present life.

Since childhood she has lived through a father and other family members abusing her narcissistically.

She was the child who looked after her siblings; who helped raise them, protect them and care for them within a family that was toxic and abusive.

Devastatingly, the present narcissist in her life is her brother. One of the siblings she gave her devoted care, attention and support to. She literally raised him.

Her brother has it all – seemingly. The perfect, abundant, successful life. But he completely disregards my friend – this beautiful lady, who is renting, on welfare and has numerous health afflictions. Despite this, the brother attacks my friend constantly, bad-mouthing her to other family members and even her own children and nephews and nieces, whom my friend loves and cherishes.

Every day the obsession of wanting her brother to repent and stop smearing her plagues her. She wants her brother to wake up and recognise what she did for him. And apologise, love her, support her and stop desecrating her. My friend can’t stop herself checking in with family members about what has been said and what is going on with this brother’s functions and events.

So many of us know this story – giving everything we had, and then some, to care for and love a person, only to see them run off into the sunset with the goodies, while we are left behind broken and shattered on the ground in pieces.

My friend is strong and such a survivor, yet the feelings of being sick, traumatised and helpless remain. She admitted today that a couple of years ago the trauma had got so bad she wanted to give up, and that presently she is feeling like she is battling every day to get up and get on with it because her health conditions have become so acute.

She has been through so much and it hasn’t destroyed her, yet is only ‘surviving’ the end goal?

I don’t believe it is at all, because I know there is another way, and if we don’t find it, then we stay sick, traumatised and helpless, and our life continues to break down.

 

The Truth About All Of This

My friend is spiritual; she is a really beautiful soul. She is the usual type of person that I see get devastated by narcissistic abuse every day – good people. People who are giving, loving and caring, who believe that being ‘a good person’ is enough.

It’s not.

Well, not in the context we thought it was.

To be a good person means that we must be good to ourselves first. And the truth is no one taught us the truth about this. In a world where power over was the programming we received – the needs of a few catered to at the expense of the needs of many – we were brought up to believe in the self-sacrificial model of ‘Do unto others as you would have them do onto you.’

Did this work? No it didn’t!

It actually defies all Quantum Law – because if we believe this model works, then we will give and give until it hurts and then when we don’t receive the love, approval, and validation from these people, we feel incredibly hurt.

And if these people turn on us and start smashing us, as narcissists do, then we become traumatised.

Which is exactly what this lady, very understandably, is.

In Quantum Law – so within, so without – the absolute truth is the outer universe responds to us in the exact way that we create our inner universe. It also means that the choices we make in our outer universe will correspond directly with our inner universe.

In short, the only way to honour The Field (everyone and everything) in honourable ways is to align with and be true to our own emotional resonance and inner knowing for ‘Self’. Giving and staying attached to people who are not healthily respecting us hurts. And if we continue this, we get more hurt.

People do not treat us as we treat them, they treat us as we treat ourselves. We, in effect, train people how to treat us with our own self-love, respect and healthy boundaries.

If we pull away from abusive people, heal our inner emotional state, which can only be performed by us, then these people will either rise to meet us at a healthy level of relationship or they leave our experience.

Either way we are living congruently to Inner Quantum Truths.

For my previous self and this lady, if we have the beliefs ‘I haven’t got rights’; ‘I can’t speak up or I’ll be criticised, abandoned, rejected and punished (C.R.A.P.)’, then we disconnect from the needs of our Inner Being and start tuning into and catering to everyone else, trying to get them to love and respect us. Yet, because we have self-abandoned, they don’t. We will stay attached trying to get the love and approval from Sources who have no capacity to give unconditionally.

The astounding thing is, even if people do show up in our life, supporting and granting us love and approval, we may feel guilty and obligated and revert back to the old programs of ‘giving to stay safe whilst trying to get love’, rather than being able to accept love and support healthily.

Our Inner Love Code may not be aligned with healthy relationships – this becomes especially apparent in intimate love relationships usually – and we get deeply distraught in unhealthy ones.

I will say this – the most beautiful, empathetic souls are the ones who suffer the most. They are the people most likely to be abused, who feel the most devastated by abuse and who struggle greatly to see the truth.

When you are in this victimised state of knowing what a good person you are and being dismayed by the behaviour of others, this is the dialogue that of course happens:

‘I want you to suffer for not loving me and understanding what you have done to me’ (And then there is the horrific guilt of knowing that you are a good person but can think like this!)

And…

‘I can’t stop thinking about all the terrible things you have done to me, and the horrible things you say to people about me.’ (Because I can’t stand people not thinking I am the lovely, giving, kind person that I am.)

(Oh gosh – personally this was one of the HARDEST things I had to heal from narcissistic abuse. But the freedom was sooooo vital in doing so!)

When we haven’t yet understood the truth, come inside, self-partnered and healed our inner beliefs, we are stuck in this terrible victimhood – with no relief.

That is a total formula for staying sick, traumatised and helpless.

 

The Insidiousness of Persecution Programs

Beautiful people who carry deep inner persecution programs have this in common. They are:

• Kind and genuine with high integrity.

• Very concerned about what other people think about them, often apologising or over-explaining for things they don’t need to.

• Very attached to needing people to know that they have a good character.

These people often do the over-checking in, the making sure, the being scared to assert their rights and needing permission to be themselves. It could be termed as over-consideration.

In stark contrast, narcissists act over-entitled without consideration.

These are the people I often see really stuck in being traumatised, sick and helpless at the hands of narcissists.

Let’s investigate deeper beliefs; core primal survival beliefs about this.

There are deeply embedded traumas within us that we all carry in our cells.

The history of humans has been brutal. We now know through the studies of neuroscientists and epigenetics, that trauma is passed on from generation to generation. If you believe in past lives and that we are a soul evolving to free ourselves of trauma lifetime to lifetime, then you can appreciate that we may have come from terrible histories where we were persecuted, and even have energetic memory within us that makes it terrifying to try to have rights, a voice and be ourselves.

I can’t tell you how many people, including myself, who used to freeze, panic and would always hand power away rather than stand in their truth, and all because of terror and carrying these following inner traumatic subconscious programs…

‘If people don’t believe in me, I could be persecuted and die.’

‘If I don’t prove myself to people, I am not safe.’ And…

‘If people think badly of me and I don’t get them to see the truth, I am going to be put to death.’

Please know inner subconscious programs are not logical – they are deeply felt somatic experiences that are emotional-based and run our lives.

This is the inner topography of so many nice people who have been brutalised by narcissists horrifically.

If you suffer emotionally from a narcissist smearing you, I want you to say these beliefs to yourself, go back to them on the video, or check them out on the blog transcript and sit with it, and see if your body responds. Can you feel emotional charges within you that resonate with them?

If so, you are carrying them.

And that’s important to understand, because your almighty subconscious, which generates 40 billion bits per second of processed information in your life as opposed to your logical mind that only operate 40 bits per second, is running your life on autopilot. By the time we are 35 years of age, 95% of our life is controlled by these programs no matter what we try to think.

It’s only by going inside and addressing them that they stop doing what subconscious programs do – play out in real life to the letter.

 

How to Heal from This

If we were to look at being sick, traumatised and helpless at the hands of a narcissist from the victim perspective, we could say my friend’s trauma is because her brother is a revolting person.

That’s certainly been her human story.

When I asked my friend what would help her feel better and well, she said to me, ‘Everyone understanding what a good person I am and my brother not being able to lie about me anymore.’

And then she said, ‘Him coming to me apologising and telling me he loves me.’

I looked this lovely lady straight in the eyes and I said to her, ‘The way things are, that’s not going to ever happen and it’s not even meant to happen?’

She looked at me in horror.

I said, ‘The real question I have for you is, “What is it within you that needs these things to happen for you to be healthy and whole and at peace?”’

She looked at me in astonishment.

I shared with her my story and how I used to feel the same as her and how I ended up as a victim a millimetre off death.

I then asked her to have an open mind and heart to hear what I was going to say next – I set the intention that her soul, not her logical mind, would hear me.

And then I took a deep breath and unleashed it in one big outpour.

This is what I said:

• You probably have been through lifetime after lifetime of being kind and loving to people, and being smashed no matter how loving you were.

• Before you came down ‘this time’ as your soul evolution, which is the real reason you are here, you wanted to heal from this – you wanted to come home inside your body to navigate your True Life from your Inner Being.

• Your brother and all the other narcissists in your life have been belting you to bring forth the unconscious wounds from your past lives and genetic family trauma history to do with ‘Other people have power over me and I don’t have my own rights and truth.’ and ‘My life is in the hands of what other people believe about me and how they treat me.’ that were already inside you.

• You are now in a time of evolution where you can release yourself from all the trauma that has accumulated within you, which is bringing you to your knees, and all the painful beliefs that have formed around these traumas, so that you fill with Source, became your True Self and go free.

• Then you will no longer have the obsession about your brother’s behaviour, and you won’t require anything from him or anyone else in order to feel whole.

• By achieving this soul graduation, your brother’s smear campaigns will fall over; people will come to you and your children, who have been suffering at his hands, will also heal and disconnect from him.

• You will discover from this evolution of yourself that this wasn’t about him at all. It was always about freeing yourself from the traumas within to go forth into life in empowered safe ways, no longer tiptoeing around people or being with broken people trying to get them to love you.

Her eyes were as big as saucers.

She was in tears as she said, ‘I know what you are saying is true.’

Okay, let’s just stop right here everyone – YouTube Thrivers. Can you feel this inside to be your truth too? My intention today was that this episode also spoke to your soul – just like every episode I do.

If your soul resonates, I want you to write below: ‘I know this is what has been happening FOR me and not TO me as well.’

Okay, so, I thought to myself, ‘My goodness, I’ve just smashed this lady with so much information!’

She asked me, ‘What do I do now?’ I said, ‘Heal’ and I gave her my link to my 16-day free course.

This is the text I received from her: ‘Hi Melanie, thank you for all your information. So much to read and take in. All so real and true. Loving it!’

And I’ve received more nearly every day!

I am so thrilled that she could be on her way to healing and freeing and saving her health, life and soul, and not have to keep coming back lifetime after lifetimes suffering these people so as to heal.

The buck can stop for her here!

This is what I want for all of us. To awaken, go within and heal at the cellular subconscious level, where we need to, rather than stay sick, traumatised and helpless trying to battle this logically, which simply doesn’t work.

So if you’ve had enough of the pain – enough is enough – then my pledge to you is that I will do everything in my power, as my life’s mission, to help you break free into the life and love that you deserve – instead of this painful nonsense we all can get trapped in.

It all starts here, as it did for my friend, by clicking this link.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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7 Signs You Are Going To Recover From Narcissistic Abuse

7 Signs You Are Going To Recover From Narcissistic Abuse

 

Narcissistic abuse recovery can be confusing.

It is not always a straight line!

And … I know you need support and information from people like myself who have been through it, to know WHAT to EXPECT.

That’s why in Today’s Thriver TV Episode I wanted to share with you seven signs to help you know that you ARE on track with recovery.

I also want to help those of you who are not doing Thriver Recovery yet, to get clearer about what REAL recovery looks like and how to start aligning with it.

Wherever you are at – this episode will bring you validation, clarity and much needed answers!

 

 

Video Transcript

I love today’s TTV Episode because I know it will give you hope, and that’s so important because in narcissistic abuse recovery it’s not a straight line, and that can be confusing.

We may come so far and then think we have gone screaming backwards – but in fact we haven’t.

It is my greatest hope today that this episode will demystify recovery for you and help you know what it means to be on track. Also, to powerfully get you on track, I am granting you a NARP Version 3 Goal Setting Statement with each of the seven points.

Okay, before we get started, thank you, everyone, who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Okay, let’s dive in.

 

#1 You Come Home To Being In Your Body

Such a big part of abuse symptoms is dissociation. The truth is, if we didn’t have a parent modelling for us how to process our troubled emotions through to calm and safety, our unhealed emotions became trapped trauma within.

As trauma builds, it may be impossible to withstand the painful feelings inside, so as a coping strategy from a young age we may have learned how to ‘check out’ and not ‘be’ in our bodies.

Absolutely as adults when we experience the emotional assaults of narcissistic abuse, that we haven’t processed through to completion and healing yet, the levels of inner trauma are so great that we become dissociative. We may be so checked out that we feel numb and spaced out and possibly can’t even feel our extremities and body parts.

Our life coming back online is about being able to reconnect with and get safe and solid in our bodies. The more we start releasing trauma when we turn inwards to self-partner, the more we can bring in Source to where the trauma once was. We start navigating our life from our truths and values inside us, rather than handing our power away to others.

After being dissociative, if you are doing the essential inner work to release your trauma and heal, you may start ‘feeling’ like yourself again. You will become aware of body parts and emotions and feelings inside of you.

A large part of our essential healing is becoming more able to be with our feelings and name them.  The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) helps you do this powerfully – creating a safe way to reconnect inside, release trauma and heal yourself from the inside out.

To get back into our bodies, even though at first it seems highly uncomfortable, means that our life starts to reflect the glory and success of Life and others partnering us, just as we are now doing for ourselves.

And we discover, after a time, just how comforting, empowering and loving it feels, as well as completely natural, to be with ourselves self-partnered in our own body.

The NARP Goal Setting Statement that goes with this is: ‘I return into my body, release my trauma, and nestle into my values and truths.’

 

#2 Having Self-Compassion and Healthy Self-Talk

One of our greatest realisations after narcissistic abuse, is that the outer critical condemning person was often mirroring our own internal critic. How we were never good enough, hadn’t done enough and couldn’t live up to our own conditional standards.

Recovery from narcissistic abuse is a profound journey to realise that self-criticism, self-rejection and self-abandonment is no way to heal, get better and do better. When we start to become conscious of being our own lover and supporter, we start to gather wholeness, courage and capacity to change from the inside out.

This is a huge turnaround from the shame and blame we continually inflicted on ourselves, which contributed to us accepting bad treatment from other people because it mirrored the way we used to treat ourselves.

It is so true – we accept the level of love at the level we love and accept ourselves.

The NARP Goal Setting Statement is: ‘I now support and speak to myself lovingly. It’s my love that my inner being seeks the most.’

 

#3 You Accept and Settle Into the Healing Process

We can carry all sorts of inner beliefs about not being lovable or worthy of love or anything good until we are ‘perfect’. That is a ridiculous and false premise that has been a part of ingrained human conditioning that in no way serves us.

When you start loving and accepting yourself – flaws, wounds and all – you will discover something very powerful: your healing is much easier, because you no longer have conditions on it.

When we have accepted that we are all wounded and imperfectly perfect, and take responsibility for healing our wounds and releasing ourselves into happier, healthier higher trajectories of living – to benefit ourselves and the All – this changes everything about our healing.

Then you can check in with yourself about what to do to love and hold yourself in times of need. You can work with NARP healing Modules and self-care practices, rather than trying to push and force yourself into shape.

By supporting ourselves with unconditional love, and being in the joyous process of eternal evolution, we get to experience the right support, information, miracles and synchronicities as well as unconditional love from others in our life.

We realise the process of evolving ourselves and self-love right now is the key, not the destination of being ‘healed’.

The NARP Goal Setting Statement is: ‘I accept that I am in an eternal process of evolution with no requirement. I simply get happier, healthier and more whole and serve others and Life in Higher Ways.’

 

#4 You Start To Love Your Own Company and Peace and Tranquillity

Abusive situations are full of highs, lows, and drama. We may not realise that we are or were carrying all sorts of crisis consciousness patterns, keeping us unconsciously stuck in situations where we needed to fight battles and put out fires.

Because of our unhealed inner trauma, drama allowed us to self-avoid because we didn’t know how to be alone with our unresolved feelings, beliefs and inner traumas.

However, when you purposely turn inwards to self-partner and meet your emotions to release trauma and bring in the Light to heal, you will start to adore peace, calm and tranquillity.

This is when you will start to see the joy and value in the small things, nature, and Life itself.

No longer will you have the stomach for issues, turmoil, and drama.

The NARP Goal Setting Statement is: ‘I settle into the richness of peace and stillness, from where all opportunity is born.’

 

#5 You Feel Great and Then A Massive Trigger Goes Off Inside You

I really wanted to include this one, because it can be so deceiving. When a trigger goes off inside us, many people think that they have gone backwards in their recovery.

This is not true! These triggers can happen often in narcissistic abuse recovery such as in the time of breaking No Contact. This has happened to many of us after days, weeks, months or years.

There could be, of course, other triggers rather than breaking No Contact that go off for you such as when the ex-narcissistic partner gets a new partner, your kids get involved with a new step-parent, or the narcissist takes you to court. The list is endless.

Or maybe it is a feeling, a trigger that gets set off within you for no logical reason.

Please know this is totally on cue for your recovery. What it means is that now, after reaching a certain level of your evolution and healing, the next BIG wound that is ready to go has appeared for you to unpack it. This happens so you can go UP even higher and freer into your True Self and True Life.

If you feel like the trauma is so big that it’s a 10/10 in intensity – I promise you that if you meet it, release it and bring in Source to replace it (the NARP process), that the graduation, great feelings and bursting forth into your empowerment on the other side is a 10/10 as well.

That’s all you have to do!

These times, during absolute breakdown, are where your greatest acceleration in healing takes place. But only if you meet the trauma in your body and do the inner work, rather than get dragged into your head and ‘stinking thinking’ about it.

These are golden breakdown/breakthrough times of HUGE power and healing!

The NARP Goal Setting Statement is: ‘By meeting my trauma as it arises, I burst free into the higher trajectories of my soul’s dreams.’

 

#6 You Drop the Need to Attach to a False Identity

Before narcissistic abuse, most of us were inner identified with labels and achievements. We may have believed we were only as good as the security we had, what we achieved, what our last pay cheque was, how we looked, what people thought of us – the list goes on and on and on.

After we are narcissistically abused, very often the things that our previous identity used to be reliant on are wiped out. Many of us have had so much stripped from us, including our security, resources and health.

This means that we are left with only one thing to turn towards and value – our soul.

From here you make the transition into living free from conditions, achievements and outcomes in order to be whole.

When our Identity is no longer reliant on what we have or become, and is generated on the state of our Inner Being without props, this changes everything. Because we finally go about the healing of our shattered feelings instead of trying to get something from the outside to try to fix them.

Once we achieve this, which NARP powerfully does, then the doing and getting become effortless because it is an expression of who we are already Being.

We also no longer do the clinging to people and things, because we know that everything other than the worth and wholeness of our own soul is transient.

This is the true personal freedom that many of us never glimpsed, let alone experienced, until going through Thriver Recovery from narcissistic abuse.

The NARP Goal Setting Statement is: ‘By valuing and healing my soul, I know Who I Am and create more of myself with freedom and joy.’

 

#7 You Have Made Yourself Your Greatest Mission

Many people try to ‘get’ to ‘be’ until we realise the Quantum Law of so within, so without. This is perfectly understandable. We simply didn’t realise that life is about becoming an integrated, functional whole Being and that once we realise this our life mission will unfold.

What we are seeking to be and do is seeking us just as much – but we have fractures and false beliefs and traumas in our way that are not allowing this Source to flow through us as us.

We may also have the mistaken belief that what Source/God/Creation wants us to do is not what we want to do. This is completely a false premise because this higher benevolent force is you, and once aligned with it you will be flourished and nourished beyond your wildest dreams. You will be living the only life that was truly going to gratify you – the life you were born to live – if you only get yourself out of the way.

I don’t know of any force more powerful for you to align with your True Self and True Life of gifts and aspirations than narcissistic abuse recovery– as myself and countless Thrivers in this community have done.

Virtually all of us before recovery were trying to find our missions out there in life, not realising they were inside us ready to flow out once our traumas were out of the way.

Our soul urge coupled with all of Creation is too big not to happen, once you clear your trauma and fill with the Light that is you and your mission.

The healing of your soul is your biggest and most important job – and all else comes from that.

The NARP Goal Setting Statement is: ‘By assigning me as my greatest mission, my true mission outflows from me effortlessly.’

I so hope this video has helped.

Okay, if you want to start getting aligned with these truths to boost and actualise your recovery beyond your wildest dreams, then I’d love to help you.

So partner with me in the Thriver Way by clicking this link.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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3 Things You Can Do To Ease The Terror Of Narcissistic Abuse

3 Things You Can Do To Ease The Terror Of Narcissistic Abuse

 

 

I know the terror of narcissistic abuse – just like I know you do.

Like being a deer in the headlights, paralysed, not knowing where to turn, or maybe even what is up or down.

Very few life circumstances can make us feel as terrorised as when a narcissist strikes out to hurt us.

It’s beyond excruciating. However, we aren’t powerless.

There are three key things that you can start doing right now to get relief and access calm, solution and even miracle with what you have been trying, but fruitlessly, to deal with. And it’s my greatest mission to show you how in today’s Thriver TV episode.

 

 

Video Transcript

Today is the day I want to address the terror.

That horror of narcissistic abuse, when the narcissist does unspeakable things, where your stomach churns and ice runs through your veins as you realise that this person is capable of God knows what…and you have no idea what terrible thing is going to happen next.

I know you know at this stage of the abuse it feels like you have been hit by a bomb, and it’s almost a given you will be suffering regular panic attacks and can’t think straight.

Because of this, in today’s Thriver TV I want to help you not only survive the terror but emerge healthy, sane and victorious with my THREE TOP TIPS.

Now, before we get started, if you haven’t yet subscribed to my channel please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Okay, let’s get right into it…

 

Number 1 – Anchor Into Knowing the Narcissist Has No TRUE Power To Hurt You

This can be so hard to comprehend at first because it seems that the narcissist is all powerful and can crush you, hurt you and rip your life apart with their deceptions, actions and minions. And you may very well be experiencing exactly that right now.

However, there is a deeper truth going on – narcissists are False Selves who cannot generate their own power. They are only able to operate by triggering our primal survival programs – things like the fear of abandonment, annihilation, not being able to survive – and then using this energy against us as metaphoric bullets to shoot us with.

Narcissistic abuse is a spiritual, psychic, energetic phenomenon. What we believe to be the surface system of life doesn’t apply here. In fact, narcissistic abuse and its effects take us into a deep dive into the Quantum World, showing us the reality of our unconscious, unhealed parts that narcissists unearth, expose and attack with full ferocity.

In the normal cognitive understanding we have of life we believe, ‘This is happening to me from this outside source and I have to negate, change or stop what they are doing in order to be safe.’

Narcissists, however, are ‘smoke and mirrors’. There is NO actual person there. This ‘disorder’ (narcissism) is powered up inside the narcissist by your primal and survival terrors. The narcissist is only a catalyst, feeding off your fear in order to line you up and project onto you his or her inner tormented parts. If this person wasn’t in your life doing this, another one would have presented themselves – because the true, sole (and soul) purpose of a narcissist and narcissistic abuse is to free you from your primal terrors so that you can reintegrate as your True Self.

Here is the rub: when our primal and survival terrors no longer exist, the narcissist is fed no energy psychically from you to be able to continue. Without narcissistic supply – your emotional energy – their actions against you fall flat and they are no longer possible. It is like fearlessly looking at a dragon roaring and then seeing that under the mirage there is really a broken, disordered, powerless child, who has no desire to take responsibility for his or her wounds and is firmly in the business of trying to destroy everyone else by using their own fear and pain against them.

When you understand this and do all you can to let go of your internal fear and pain, creating your solid and calm Inner Being instead, no matter what anyone else is or isn’t doing, you will see how powerless narcissists really are.

I promise you I have known exactly what it is like to be lined up and brutalised by a hugely vindictive, cunning narcissist, and to be completely traumatised by what he was doing. When I stopped trying to change or end what he was doing, and rather turned inwards to release my fears, wounds and gaps that were being pummelled by his actions, then incredible things happened. All of a sudden I had the inspirational answers on the correct action to take, people came to my side aiding me in generating more calmness, solidness, safety and the resurrecting of my life. His attempts to dismantle and punish me fell over.

This happened because of my shifted Beingness, just as it does for all the Thrivers in this Community who have worked on shifting their Beingness.

I know that this is one of the hardest things to accept with narcissistic abuse – that no amount of action will help. Recall what happened when you did act and try to stop the terror of what was happening when you were in extreme terror. You know – it didn’t work.

When we embrace and start working with narcissistic abuse at the Quantum Level, we know it is a soul war and we know exactly how to start winning – by working on our deep Inner Being, emancipating our soul from fear and pain. And from that place all else follows.

 

Number 2 – Let Go

To get up and out of narcissistic abuse and into our True Self and True Life there is a calling for a Quantum Soul leap. Some people take their time to get it (kicking and screaming) and others let go and just do it. Please know I was firmly in the first category!

This Quantum Leap is LETTING GO!

Letting Go is massive and it really is the number ONE thing that we humans struggle to do. When we are in the midst of the absolute terror of narcissistic abuse, realising the betrayals, how this person has been able to discard and replace us as if we never existed – as well as maliciously tried to annihilate us; how this person has no care towards us and the people and things we care about; and of course, also, smashed or stole so much of the dreams that we thought our life would be – the terror and pain is massive.

We have invested so much and we have probably lost so much, including resources, years and health. We may have believed that the investment was far too great to walk away from, and yet the harder we hang on the more we lose ourselves with this sinking ship.

Things keep getting WORSE; they don’t and won’t improve.

The reason why this happens is because our soul, Source and all of Life is working FOR us, hitting us as hard as it needs to LET GO; to get out of Wrong Town where we compromised our True Self, our values and our highest and best self-generative lives, and got attached to False Selves.

This is not the calling we are here for. This is not a position where we can be our True Selves, connected to real genuine love for ourselves, life and others, and generating our true soul calling and highest aspirations and soul dharmas.

Our soul and Source is always generating the experiences that will bring us home, if we stop resisting and clinging to ‘what we know’ that isn’t serving us, out of fear. When we let go, we come home to ourselves and then self-partner and align directly with the only life that was ever going to truly gratify us – the one where we are Being our True Self and True Life.

Another way to understand letting go is ‘acceptance’. This was huge for me, as I know it has been for so many of you. I was firmly embedded in the terror of narcissistic abuse, watching everything I worked for my entire life going down the drain. I was deeply identified with material and outer aspects, believing these were my Identity. I clung to these things, desperately.

When I had my breakdown on my bathroom floor, I finally realised these things were not me and that what was me was the state of my soul. I realised that the gift in my breakdown was to lose all the illusions that I thought were me, to integrate with my soul and then build a real life from there.

Thank goodness I did that and now live life from the inside out.

If it wasn’t for my letting go of all the toxic energy of fear, pain and emotional losses from narcissistic abuse and then starting to fill with Source, I would not have realised my incredible ecological connection to knowing that I’m flourished and nourished by Life and my Higher Power. It took me letting go and purposefully healing myself, to start experiencing Source and Life partnering with me too.

Before then my life has always been a ‘disconnected struggle’.

I consistently see that when people healing to Thriverhood also do this – accept the truth of their situation, let go and start to fully heal – they quickly leave the terror behind and start moving forward into fearless and healthy trajectories.

And the narcissist becomes powerless to affect them.

 

Number 3 – Release the Terror Cellularly

Number 3 is always going to be my highest suggestion – because it works so powerfully. It is, however, very useful to know the other two tips beforehand otherwise you may wish to try to hang on to the terror.

This is normal – we have been led to believe terror keeps us safe, yet it doesn’t. Terror that is left to run rampant inside you is causing all sorts of issues with your functioning. Fight, freeze and flee and the regular chemical doses of adrenalin and cortisol shut you off from the part of your brain that has contact with higher reasoning, your Higher Power, innate wisdom and the ability to attract and cogenerate support and miracle with the Field (Life).

Leaving the terror inside you means you are vibrating as emotional terror and you are metaphorically seeping blood out into shark infested waters. It feeds the narcissist energetically and psychically, allowing him or her to keep attacking you.

If you don’t believe me, I can assure you I have seen the evidence when clients in session let go of the fear and pain, then immediately receive a text message from the narcissist whom that they may not have heard from in months.

Narcissists feel the drop of the feedline and often try to hook it up again.

Truly, the greatest goal is to RELEASE and go FREE of the terror.

It’s when we do this that we understand the terror is not JUST what is happening right here and now. The narcissist has targeted and hit significant unhealed trauma in your body. Many of these were already there – including pre-birth.

These are unresolved wounds in your energy field that are epigenetic traumas (inherited from your ancestors), past life traumas (which are the unresolved abuse and fear patterns that have been going on lifetime to lifetime), and collective human traumas (those that are programmed into all of us as part of the human experience). Additionally, we have unresolved childhood traumas, that we experienced when very young, and all our accumulated adult, this-lifetime traumas, that we have suffered along the way.

When the terror hits via an effective catalyst – the present narcissist – these traumas get fully activated and resurface from our Inner Being. They can be so BIG and MULTIDIMENSIONAL that you can barely function.

It literally WIPES us out.

This is what happened to me, as I know it has to you too.

The trauma can be so overwhelming that THIS time, and maybe for the first time in our lives, it is now ‘game over’. No matter how tough or strong we are, we just can’t get up and get on with it anymore. Trauma, in the way of terror, has reached critical mass. We can no longer go forward without unpacking it.

Fortunately, I discovered that there are ways to go inside, load up and release this trauma cellularly so that we can finally live free of it – all of it. Not JUST this lifetime trauma, but all the accumulated traumas we have within us. Hence why there is an ability after narcissistic abuse, if we do the Quantum Inner Work, to Thrive more than we ever have previously.

People often ask on my blogs and in my YouTubes, ‘Yes, but how do I heal?’ Many of you have worked it out, but others still don’t know.

This is the answer: we heal by releasing our traumas from within and replacing them with our Higher Power which is True Source. When this happens we break away from traumas, false beliefs and False Selves forever.

The tool to do exactly this is Quanta Freedom Healing, which is the energy healing component in the NARP Program which has ten specific healing Modules to completely purge you of the trauma of abuse – this life, multidimensional selves and epigenetic traumas – to set you free.

It’s the exact work that I and countless other Thrivers in the Community used to heal. It literally healed within us, in many cases, what nothing else ever could or did.

You can learn more about this healing system and how to lose all your terror, pain, the susceptibilities to being abused, including the way you hand power away and all attachments, longings, obsessions and addictions towards any narcissist in your life, by signing up to my free 16-Day course.

And make sure that when you sign up that you enter my free workshop with me, which you will be notified about, because there you will get to experience a Quantum Healing for yourself, where literally together we shift terror and pain directly out of your cells. Many people report after my workshop instant relief – and I’d love you to feel this too.

So, to get started click this link.

I love how all of you are getting so involved in the intentions that you are sharing with me on my blog and YouTube comments, so how about today we say this – ‘I’m Letting Go of the fear and the pain NOW’.

If you are with me – write that below!

Because it’s time. It’s your time to heal and be free and it’s my life’s mission to help you achieve this.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

And as always, I’d love to answer your comments and questions below.

 

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Watching Narcissistic Abuse Videos Won’t Heal You

Watching Narcissistic Abuse Videos Won’t Heal You

 

Have you become addicted to watching videos on narcissism and narcissists?

Were you told this too?  ‘Research as much as you can about narcissists and narcissistic abuse because knowledge is power.’

I took this advice.  But WHY did I get sicker and sicker? WHY couldn’t I STOP going back to him?

And, even though I would get relief when researching, WHY did all my symptoms return soon after?

The answer is: What I was doing WASN’T working.

If this is true for you too, then in today’s video you will discover EXACTLY why seeking information on narcissists and narcissistic abuse becomes an addition and how to break it so you can HEAL for REAL.

 

 

Video Transcript

Okay, today’s TTV episode may hit you hard, but that’s my job – to help you wake up just as I had to do for myself to heal for real.

Let’s get straight to it – watching narcissistic abuse videos won’t help you.

In this video I’m going to explain why this number one mistake that people make on their recovery journey, actually causes more damage than good. How it sucks the life out of you and completely compromises any chance of true recovery.

Watch on to discover why…

Now, before we get started, if you haven’t yet subscribed to my channel please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

If you are already feeling resistant, or possibly even angry with me for saying that watching narcissistic abuse videos won’t heal you, please know that I’m going to do these following things on this video:

1) Validate that initially, yes you do need to understand what a narcissist is and what they do

2) Talk about your need to protect yourself against narcissists, which ironically is NOT about learning all about them, and

3) I’m going to explain to you exactly what will help you get well and, at the same time, inoculate you from any chance of narcissistic abuse in the future.

 

The Real Purpose About Narcissistic Abuse Information

Okay, so let’s start by going over why watching videos about narcissists only initially helps you.

The reasons are:

• So that you can put a name to this phenomenon,

• So you know that you aren’t going mad, and

• So you know you are not alone in this.

Also, it helps us to comprehend that we are not dealing with normal people who are going to wake up, stop doing what they are doing and work with us towards the common goal of mutuality, kindness, harmony and solution.

Information about narcissists delivers us the hard-hitting truth that we are dealing with a virus, a deep soul sickness – narcissism – which means this ‘person’ does not think and operate in ways that we do. They are disordered deeply within their inner being and survive by extracting narcissistic supply from others, which means they are sucking their victim’s lifeforce and resources and this is not going to stop. We are confronted with the ghastly truth – that our only hope of salvation is to get away and stay away.

And even though we may logically understand that this is our only hope, this is much easier said than done. It’s not until we take our journey deeper that we realise that information on its own is not enough.

To recover for real requires this cut off point: I realise what I have been dealing with (the broad strokes are enough) and now I need to get down to the business of saving my soul.

Truly, our recovery is that serious a task.

 

What Continued Immersion In Narcissistic Videos Creates

Let me be very straight with you about what I define ‘narcissistic videos’ as. They are videos about narcissists without handing the reflection and power back to us.

When we have serious abuse in our life, it is a wakeup call to do something much deeper – to investigate and then heal the root causes so that not only are we NEVER going to go through this again, we can enter patterns of relationship and love that ARE healthy and fulfilling.

Without exception, watching videos on narcissistic abuse after initial evidence gathered is the least effective way to heal, and I will explain to you why.

 

The Extraction From Narcissists Which Is NO Release From Them At All

It’s so interesting how so many people in abuse forums scream from the rooftops ‘educate yourself about everything there is to do with narcissists’, purporting that this will help people leave narcissists, stay away and get better.

I know this isn’t true and I cringe when I hear it. It is just a deeper immersion and embedding in it all.

We may think information about narcissists, narcissism and narcissistic abuse is fascinating, which it is, just as you may think knowing all you can about narcissists will protect you from one in the future. It doesn’t – countless narcissistic abuse experts experience one narcissist after the next.

Focusing on anything or anyone outside of what is REALLY going on inside of ourselves is a sure-fire way to stay out of touch with our own healing truths, values, boundaries and inner development beyond our wounds and old pattern of handing our power away. Staying out of touch with our ‘self’ means continuing to unconsciously conjoin with and barrel into the exact traumas and people who bring these traumas again and again.

This isn’t DESPITE of what we know about them, it is BECAUSE our entire focus is ALL about them.

It’s a massive life Quantum Law principle – wherever your focus and emotional energy (good or bad) goes, is what you will choose to attract and be attractive to.

So within, so without.

You may think that you are vehemently saying ‘No’ to something in your life, but you are in fact soaking all your cells over and over in victimised/abused peptides and creating chemical inner processes that your Inner Identity believes to be the ‘truth’ of Life. Namely abuse, the symptoms of abuse and the vileness and evil of narcissists.

These beliefs in your Inner Identity set your subconscious to manufacture trajectories that match the composition of your Inner Identity to the letter. Your experiences then continue to show you that you were ‘right’.

People who incessantly study narcissists and narcissistic abuse wonder why they continue to experience narcissists and narcissistic abuse, just the same as they wonder why any relief gained from doing it is temporary, yet the trauma and the pain and mental anguish soon returns. The temporary relief is because their addiction to this information is being fulfilled, but then what has not been addressed and healed again resurfaces – like a festering wound that is being covered over and ignored.

I understand why we do this – it’s a lot more comfortable initially to point our finger at ‘what’ happened to us and by ‘whom’, than it is to go inside and meet our own traumas.

 

The Powerlessness Of Focusing On The Outside

Haven’t we all been trained like this – to look to the outside?

I know personally before my Thriver Recovery I used to complain constantly about people who did the wrong thing to me.

My gossip sessions on the phone to girlfriends used to go like this: ‘I can’t believe that my neighbour let their friends park this car across my driveway. After everything I do for her. I’m a good person, I treat her with respect and I would never do that to her. How dare she treat me like that!’

And on and on and on and on I’d go like a total powerless victim.

Then I’d watch out my window studying how many times her friends came over, where they would park their car, if it was on my driveway – it became a daily obsession for me.

I’d be on the phone to a friend, ‘Hang on’ I’d say, ‘I hear a car pulling up. I’m going to see if they are doing it again, blocking off my driveway.’

Here’s what I know as a Thriver today. If you park across my driveway or violate me in some way, I know that I’m responsible for my boundaries and wellbeing and you’re not. So, I will speak to you and ask you to move your car or whatever else it is that I need you to do. And if you don’t, then I will take it into my hands to enforce my boundaries in the clearest, calmest way possible.

And, if I get terrified and squirmy on the inside and don’t do what I know I need to in order to take responsibility for my own life, then I will go within myself and use NARP Modules to clear out any terror, fear or insecurity, the feelings that mean I’m handing my power away to outside forces and not being a generative Source to myself.

By going within myself and using NARP Modules, I know I will be emotionally secure, fearless and clear enough to DO what I know I need to do as a calm, mature, powerful, authentic adult.

The old me before my Thriver Healing Trip used to squirm, cringe, not lay boundaries, be terrified of speaking up, and constantly avoided my own self-development by focusing intently on everything about THEM.

Why? Because I was not yet taking responsibility to meet my own inner traumas to develop beyond them.

Now here’s the thing that may blow apart your normal human understanding when people are acting like rubbish and take you to the full Quantum Understanding that is the Truth that will change your life forever…

That women blocking my driveway was a SYMPTOM of something deeper – the real SOURCE of the issue was my unhealed parts that were at that time incapable of laying boundaries and being a self-generative Source, regardless of what other people were or weren’t doing. And, if this woman hadn’t turned up in my experience showing me how I needed to heal my boundary function, someone else would have taken her place. (The truth was, this stuff was going on in my life everywhere!)

I promise you with all of my heart that narcissists and narcissistic abuse are the same…

They bring the evidence of the trauma we need to turn inwards to, and heal, in such an accentuated way there is NO missing it.

It wasn’t until I fully dedicated to quitting focusing on the problem and meeting and healing these parts instead that I was able to create a healthy abuse-free life.

How many times have we done this – focused on the problem and not know how to ‘be’ the solution?

How many times have we heard someone in our life whine and complain about someone when they haven’t even spoken to them?

A girlfriend of mine has often said how her housemates don’t help in the house. My response is: ‘You need to speak to them’. Her normal response is: ‘What’s the point they won’t listen’. And she just gets angrier and angrier.

I know that the housemates are all SYMPTOMS of my girlfriend’s inner unhealed beliefs ‘I am not important’ and ‘everything is up to me’. Until she goes directly to the CAUSE that is generating these symptoms – these beliefs playing out to the letter – nothing will shift. She will have all the excuses and justifications to stay stuck in this pattern and will keep handing her power away giving all her energy and to the problem – them.

Are you getting this?

You may think that these examples have nothing to do with narcissists and narcissistic abuse, but I promise you they have EVERYTHING to do with it.

The following section of this video will help you understand even more…

 

Education Is Not The Answer – Becoming The Solution Is

When, for over a decade, you have been in narcissistic abuse communities and worked with helping people recover their souls and lives to Thriver status (as I have), these are the kinds of powerless conversations you regularly hear from people who haven’t stopped researching narcissism and the symptoms of narcissistic abuse.

They commonly say things like this:

‘There are so many narcissists on the planet, who can I trust?’ And, ‘I would never risk opening myself to another love relationship again.’ and ‘I have the symptoms of narcissistic abuse which means that I will probably suffer PTSD for the rest of my life.’

Despite all their intent research, these people can’t open their heart to connection and unity with others intimately and they are struggling with everyday anxiety, depression and triggers.

And I promise you with all my heart that these people continue to experience narcissist after narcissist in their life, because narcissism and narcissistic abuse lives on inside of them as their everyday reality.

These are the people who have been led to believe that educating themselves about narcissists and narcissistic abuse is the answer – but it’s not. It is only miring them deeper in the problem, without granting them a solution.

The solution, clearly and obviously, is this:

Healing yourself. This means going within to find and release the original traumas, insecurities and false beliefs that are not allowing you to be a powerful, healed, solid, self-generative source that is impervious to narcissists and detoxed of the abuse symptoms. Your traumas will disappear automatically when you heal in this way because gloriously you are freeing yourself to create a higher, better and more authentic life than the one you had access to previously when you were still carrying unhealed unconscious parts.

Which is exactly what myself and countless Thrivers have done, to not only heal from narcissistic abuse symptoms but also be free of all the hooks, obsessions, pulls and binds that were keeping us in the abuse dynamic. Then narcissists lost all power against us as we became our authentic selves, showing up in authentic, powerful ways that innoculated us against being taken in or down by narcissists.

In NO way did we achieve this by researching and learning all we could about narcissists.

We emancipated ourselves by deeply and devotedly turning inwards to discover and heal all those parts of us that were wounded and susceptible.

Did this help?

Are you realising now that what you have been told to do is getting you in deeper and not out?

Are you a serial narcissistic abuse video watcher and still suffering massive symptoms like I used to also?

If so, write ‘I’m getting OUT now!’ below

If you are ready to go within, unravel and heal and truly get free of EVERYTHING to do with narcissists and narcissistic abuse and begin your REAL LIFE, then hold my hand and let’s go on this ride together.

It starts today by clicking this link to become the empowered adult you were always meant to be. 

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

And as always, I’d love to answer your comments and questions below.

 

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Peace After Narcissistic Abuse Is Possible (Even If You Can’t Go No Contact)

Peace After Narcissistic Abuse Is Possible (Even If You Can’t Go No Contact)

 

Narcissistic abuse is one of the most deadly and disgusting real-life horror stories that anyone could go through.

It triggers such feelings of powerlessness, rage, betrayal, devastation and shock that we wonder how we are going to stay vertical and breathing, let alone get through it.

How on earth could you feel peace after what happened to you?

I discovered how powerful the key component of PEACE is in narcissistic abuse recovery, how to embody it, become it, and how this not only rendered the narcissist powerless against me but also kicked my life off into a rebuild of abundance and wellness that surpassed my wildest and most sought after dreams.

This is why I am DARING To bring you the information regarding PEACE in this Thriver TV episode because I know it is a ground-breaking healing key for you too.

 

 

Video Transcript

I remember many years ago when I went online and tried to get support from other people suffering from narcissistic abuse.

I discovered I was entering something akin to a battlefield; injured people screaming in agony everywhere. Peace certainly wasn’t a thing. It seemed like no one had it, and much less knew how to get it.

Peace wasn’t a priority, even though I’m sure everyone deeply wanted it. Instead, people were sharing their war stories with each other, getting angrier and more devastated about what narcissists had done to them.

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I want to talk to you about PEACE, and how it is the number 1 commodity to go for, as well as how when you make peace ‘everything’, then everything else will follow.

I am also going to help you know how to achieve it, after narcissistic abuse, regardless of who the narcissist is in your life is, and even if you can’t go No Contact with this person.

 

Why Is Peace Everything?

It’s because, at Quantum Reality, everything in your outer Universe is responding to your Inner Universe. When we start awakening to this, we know our inner emotional state is exactly the template for how our outer life will go.

The old beliefs we had as humans are: ‘If I change what is going on outside of me then how I feel on the inside will change’. Wrong-town! This is especially flawed when dealing with narcissists. If you try to battle them from an inner place of devastation, heartbreak and white-hot fear, then what the narcissist will dish up to you is even greater abuse, providing more of these inner states.

When we become conscious, we know that we are self-generative Beings, and IF we achieve peace on the inside, then narcissists start to lose their power over us.

We are no longer triggered. We respond in ways that don’t feed them energy, or we refuse to respond at all. We take calm action against what the narcissist is trying to do, or just let the attempt melt away on its own accord.

We can lay clear solid boundaries where necessary and stop trying to appease the narcissist, strike a deal and keep them ‘sane’ (which only allows them to abuse and take from us more), because we are no longer giving in to their disordered threats, demands, accusations and grandstanding.

We stand tall instead.

We also start to experience from all of Life, connected to this situation, the RIGHT people showing up to grant more of the peace that we have established on the inside. We find that as a result of taking care of and supporting our own emotional state and bringing it to peace, that life and others start to support us as well.

It seems like a miracle, but it’s not. It’s simply Quantum Law, so within, so without.

Before you say, “Melanie here is this new-age woohoo crap that is not logical!” I really invite you to not take my word for it. Instead look deeply at your own life and be honest with yourself. From fixing a household item to a disagreement with anyone, were the results favourable when you felt agitated and out of sorts? No! It was only when you calmed down (went for peace before the issue was solved) that you got real results.

Neuroscientists are now proving that when we are in emotional trauma we don’t have access to the part of our brain required for solutions. They also believe that there is no access to thoughts or The Field (unfoldings) that are of a healthier version than that of the trauma.

The bottom line is, I personally don’t care what proof there is, or what I could be researching. To me truly that’s all a waste of time, but be my guest if you wish! My suggestion is, rather, simply start making ‘peace’ your priory before outer events shift and then see them shift, sometimes instantly… and you will be living the truth of this Quantum Law, and THEN you will believe it.

If you want to experience what I’m saying and if this resonates with you, I’m running a workshop this week that will help you with releasing the traumas that are not allowing you to feel inner peace. You can register for the next available workshop by clicking here.

 

A Deeper Look At Peace

I want to explain to you what establishing peace in the face of trauma ISN’T.

It’s not:

  • Giving up and giving in.
  • Condoning and allowing someone’s poor behaviour.
  • Apathy or non-caring.

Rather, establishing peace in the face of trauma IS:

  • Bringing one’s power back to self (this is the only place it resides).
  • Aligning with and creating your healthy life regardless of what someone else or isn’t trying to do to you.
  • Caring about your life and your application to it, as well as what is true and real, in profound and powerful ways.

Interestingly, a lack of inner peace (having the trauma remain within) creates the very opposite of the results we want (ironically which is, of course, is resolution and then inner peace).

This is because the feelings and thoughts of needing accountability and justice and not being able to feel any peace unless this happens, only mean more victimisation and lack of closure keeps happening.

How interesting it is, in the way the human experience has been set up (which we all missed because we weren’t taught it) that the state, the feeling of ‘peace’, must proceed the events that bring peace.

RELIEF comes before RESULT.

It’s not the other way around, and this is why we need to go for the peaceful emotion first.

 

What Does Peace Really Mean?

  • It means this no longer triggers me.
  • It means being trauma-free.
  • It means no matter what my outer life looks like, and what is going on, I am connected to myself peacefully. I’m in acceptance that all of this is unfolding perfectly for my highest good and greatest self, and I am safe.
  • This means not being attached to any particular outcome at all.
  • This means not needing any particular outcome to occur in order to be peaceful because you already are.

I know getting there is a BIG CALL after narcissistic abuse. MASSIVE!

If you had told me to ‘just be like this’ after narcissistic abuse, I probably wouldn’t have been responsible for the swear words I would have said to you.

Fortunately, you know that I have been through it and that I too was at the brink of total destruction from this, and I came back. The reason is: because I know how to go for and ‘be peaceful’ under every circumstance now. And since doing this, finally, for the first time in lifetimes, my life has filled with abundance and joy, and my life works. Whereas before it never did.

The one simple formula I have that creates this with every topic in my life that hurts me, confuses me, or challenges me, is: I do Quanta Freedom Healing on it. I release all associated trauma and painful beliefs out of my inner being on that topic and bring in my superconscious self which KNOWS what to generate and do for my highest best.

Then I think, feel and operate in healthy ways on that topic, because I am at peace about it.

That’s it! That’s what I do!

So, now that I hope I’ve inspired you to get to peace no matter what, I really hope I can answer some of the burning questions that you may have.

 

How To Get Peace When Enmeshed With A Narcissist?

You may still be living with a narcissist, working with one, running into a family narcissist at gatherings, or have one as a neighbour. And of course parallel-parenting with one.

You may have heard everywhere how vital No Contact is and how it is so hard to heal without it. This is where Modified Contact comes in, which is about detaching as much as possible and not granting any emotional energy to the narcissist at all, regardless of how much he or she tries to trigger you by baiting you with insults, threats, bad behaviour or parading new supply in your face.

Absolutely, having the narcissist still in your face takes things to another level, yet please know after the psychic vandalization of narcissistic abuse, even if you never see the narcissist ever again, he or she is living on inside you anyway. You are not free of the narcissist, at all, until you learn what I am about to tell you, which is the ‘peace component’.

The only way to get peace is this:  Resolve everything within yourself that the narcissist triggers.

This following orientation is required to shift away from ‘I am going to retaliate and try to stop you assaulting/hurting/degrading me’, to ‘You are trying to get attention from me to feed your significance with any method possible. I NOW cut off that energy supply by giving you NOTHING.’

And, ‘Thank you for triggering within me a past, generational or childhood trauma that I haven’t found and released yet.’

And, ‘Now that I can track, heal and live free of this trauma, you have just handed me the next key to not just release myself from your garbage, but also the fears and traumas that have always held me back in some way.’

So, this is the deal, rather than latching onto trying to belt the narcissist around the ears to get ourselves to a state of peace, we go inwards, find the associated triggered trauma, release it and bring peace in instead.

Then truly, what the narcissist is saying to you and trying to do to you becomes as insignificant as a slug that you just stepped over on the pavement and continued walking past.

Yes, the narcissist may pop, and up the ante. But then calmly and clearly you report any threats or physical acts and mean it. No more are you going to get shoved around. You are not buying into abuse, you refuse to participate with it, and you will not tolerate it.

When you become ‘anti-fear’ and embody peace and strength, wait and see how powerless the narcissist becomes.

Naturally, getting away from abuse and not having abusive people in your life is the goal. Then this level of powerful, peaceful detachment creates the space to get your new life started, look for another profession or know that now this family member can only approach you with respect, or you grant them nothing anymore.

Or maybe the narcissist, now that you are prepared to forge your own life calmly and powerfully, just disappears and leaves your experience anyway. (Trust me this happens a lot!)

Profound huh? And profoundly true. You just have to live it to find out.

 

Getting To Peace Under the Most Horrific Circumstances

I know with all my heart how terrible it has been for many of you suffering such losses, including possibly the custody of your children. Things that are so beyond painful that it seems impossible to reach a state of peace.

I talk about, in my free Quanta Freedom Healing workshop, how Dot in her 70s had not seen her children or her grandchildren for 32 years because of a narcissistic ex-husband alienating them for her.

After working NARP Modules, and releasing the unspeakable trauma about this, which had haunted Dot her whole life, her estranged son contacted her out of the blue, and now she is connected to all her family lovingly. Was this a coincidence? No. What happened was finally Dot reached peace with ‘what is’ on that topic, and then it could shift.

The same happens when we have health and financial devastations with narcissists.  Myself and so many Thrivers, who were burning in hell in the horrific traumatisation of losing everything we had worked years of our life for, and then suffered the added injury of being unable to rebuild because of our health, experienced incredible and miraculous healing and reinstating of wellness when we released our trauma and came to peace with ‘what is’ on these topics.

I wrote this testimony from our beautiful member of the NARP Community, Anki,in my book You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse on page 202, “I am a totally different person. I was told at fifty years of age that I had chronic, untreatable diseases, leaving me with no ability to function and work, yet after only three months of going through NARP, I am now working and exercising again. After losing everything to a narcissist, I had no idea how I was going to provide accommodation for myself and my son. Now I have my own place near my work, in nature with forests and a lake near my door! The shift in my son’s as well as my other children’s health has been nothing short of miraculous as well.”

Okay, I hope that this has inspired you, even in the face of the most horrible pain and circumstances that there is hope.

In fact, I want to hold your hand and take you through an actual shift that releases trauma and grants you peace and a shift right now (or as soon as there is a time convenient for you).

Please join me in my free workshop and we will go through a Quanta Freedom Healing together which has allowed myself and so many others worldwide, establish peace, healing, and resurrection where nothing else has worked.

Click here to sign up for the next available workshop.

I so look forward to our conversation about this so important topic here …

 

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