Seventh Biennial Valentine’s Day Ball & Gala 2024 of Veterans In Politics Foundation!

Seventh Biennial Valentine’s Day Ball & Gala 2024 of Veterans In Politics Foundation!

 

For Immediate Release:

Robert Medoff VIP Foundation Ball Chairman 702 449 1554

Steve Sanson, President Veterans In Politics International

702 283 8088

www.veteransinpolitics.org

Clark County, Nevada: Veterans In Politics Foundation (VIPF) is hosting our Seventh Biennial Valentine’s Day Ball & Gala starting at 5 pm Saturday, February 3, 2024, at the elegant South Point Hotel & Casino Las Vegas.

In a nonpartisan effort while focusing on the betterment of our community through educational involvement. VIPF also strives to conduct our educational events in the southern areas of the community that might benefit from our presence and business.

VIPF First Annual Valentine’s Day Ball & Gala 2012 brought many influential guests – including U.S. Congresswoman Shelley Berkley, former U.S. Senate Candidate and Legislator Sharron Angel, Las Vegas Mayor Carolyn Goodman, Miss Nevada 2011 Alana Lee, and over 130 attendees – to the Plaza Hotel & Casino, to help bring attention to their Grand Opening and the revitalization for downtown Las Vegas.

The 2024 Line will feature our Master of Ceremony: B. Taylor is an Award Winning Artist, Producer, and decorated Navy Veteran with (3) #1 Top Charting Records (Billboard) working with NCIS’s Pauley Paurette, Chris Brown, Snoop Dogg, Ray J, FloRida and more. He is also “A Goodwill Global Ambassador and Advocate of Entertainment for the U.S. Military, Veterans, First Responders and Their Families.” B. Taylor, alongside Ndileka Mandela, co-founded NRM Auto Inc., the first Official Nelson Mandela Signature Electric Vehicle.

Our entertainment will grow, but the schedule will feature Romeo Ballantine, an L.A. Stand-Up Comic who will join us in the festivities.

The guest Speaker will be Timothy Williams, Eighth Judicial District Court Judge:

Judge Williams was appointed by Governor Kenny Guinn on April 4, 2006, to fill a vacancy left on the District Court bench by John McGroarty and sworn in on April 24, 2006. He was then retained in the general election of November 7, 2006, to complete the remaining year of his predecessor’s term. He filed for re-election in 2008 and was unopposed for a six-year term commencing in January 2009.

Judge Williams was born in 1955 and has been a Las Vegas, Nevada resident for decades. He graduated from Indiana University in 1979 with a Bachelor’s Degree in Business. He received his Juris Doctorate in 1983 from Ohio Northern University.

Before taking the bench, Judge Tim Williams had 20 years of complex civil litigation experience, served on the District Court Arbitration and Mediation Panel, and presided as a Judge Pro Tem in the one-day jury trial program. Judge Tim Williams has served as an arbitrator/mediator in hundreds of cases on behalf of the citizens of Clark County, avoiding costly and time-consuming litigation for the parties.

Judge Tim Williams has held many leadership positions for various bar associations. Judge Williams is the former President of the Nevada Trial Lawyers Association, former President of the Las Vegas Chapter of the National Bar Association, past member of the Consumer Protection Committee for the State Bar of Nevada, past member of the Fee Dispute Committee for the State Bar of Nevada and a member of the Nevada Supreme Court Arbitration/Mediation /Short Trial Committee. He also served ten years as a panel member of the Medical/Dental/Legal Screening Panel for the State of Nevada Insurance Division.

Judge Tim Williams obtained an A-V ranking in Martindale-Hubbell as a lawyer for his legal ability and high ethical standards. Judge Tim Williams has lectured lawyers and Judges over 30 times on continuing legal education for the State Bar of Nevada, Clark County Bar Association, and Nevada Trial Lawyer Association. He also has lectured law students at the Boyd School of Law, University of Nevada, Las Vegas.

In addition to his commitment to the law, Judge Williams has received United States Congressional recognition for community service. In 1994, Judge Williams was honored as “Humanitarian-of-the-Year” for assisting boys from single-parent homes. Judge Williams has also sponsored “Little League” baseball and junior high basketball teams in Clark County.

This event will allow veterans, elected officials, candidates, and citizens to socialize comfortably.

If you can not be present, purchase a dinner for a Veteran.

Prices will increase on January 15, 2024.

Please go to www.eventbrite.com/e/veterans-in-politics-seventh-biennial-valentines-day-ball-gala-tickets-601726418917  or on veteransinpolitics.org/ reservations are going fast.

 

Veterans Ball & Gala 2024

Veterans In Politics Foundation

Post Office Box 28211

Las Vegas, NV 89126

Federal Tax ID#: 84-2328771

www.veteransinpolitics.org

 

VETERANS IN POLITICS INTERNATIONAL-

WHERE CHANGE HAPPENS

 

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Thriver TV Special : Thriver Talk With Anita

Thriver Talks Special With Lorraine

 

Today I’m sharing with you an incredibly important Thriver Talk with Lorraine.

Lorraine is inspirational. She has been out of her narcissistic relationship for only 4 ½ months and is Thriving!

She feels great, she looks great and she is the happiest she can remember being.

You may ask, are you sure she was with a narcissist? Yes, she was.

Maybe she couldn’t have been terribly broken? She was.

Lorraine had suffered major adrenal issues, chronic depression, thyroid problems, and regular breakdowns, and her life had been falling apart for YEARS previously.

“Years” being the operative word …

Lorraine had been with her ex-narcissist for 45 years in TOTAL!

He was all she had ever known her entire adult life. And he had controlled her most of that time. She did not have her own security, job, or life!

Like so many women in her position, she had been too terrified to leave. Lorraine did not even think it would be possible to …

until everything changed for her.

I’d love you to watch Loraine’s interview to discover, not only HOW Lorraine got the strength, but also took her power back, got him to capitulate, and left with hardly ANY fallout or aftershock at all!

Now at 66 years of age, Lorraine is happier and more excited about her future than she could ever imagine being!

If you too have been stuck, worn down, and think there is no way to leave, get well and this is a Thriver Talk you don’t want to miss!

If you have not yet subscribed to my YouTube channel or followed me on Facebook, please do so, and I’d love for you to share my work with others who need it. I’d also love for you to connect with me on Rumble and Instagram.

 

 

Video Transcript

Melanie
Welcome beautiful Thriver community, Mel here. I am so excited because we have a Thriver Talk today and this is a Thriver talk that I know a lot of our community really waiting for and would like to hear about because I have with me the lovely Lorraine. Lorraine, thank you so much for coming forward.

Lorraine
Thank you, Mel. So thrilled and honored to be here.

Melanie
Where the Lorraine’s story is so powerful is because she had 45 years, all of her adult life really, with a narcissistic partner. We’re going to talk about that journey today and about how Lorraine liberated herself.

I know that there are a lot of people in our community, dear listeners, who are going through this, you have either been stuck in a long-term narcissistic relationship and maybe you’re still there and you don’t know how you’re going to get out and survive and reboot your life and maybe you have left but you are still deeply traumatized and in aftershock and haven’t broken through to what we call the other side.

So, with great joy here is Lorraine. Lorraine, we’re going to jump straight in. So 45 years is, is an enormous time. Now I’d love you to share with everybody how bad your breakdown was of yourself and what was going on in that relationship and where did it end up?

Lorraine
Well, with that long of a marriage, you can imagine there’s more than one breakdown, but you know, I didn’t know what I was dealing with for many, many years.

Only three years into the marriage, I saw some cracks and in retrospect, it was always about power and control, especially financial abuse and control. And I was such a good girl. I just thought, okay, this is what marriage is. I just have to go along to get along and be the best wife I can and so forth.

I entered into this relationship as a strong independent woman, 22 years old, just graduated from college, moved to a metropolitan area, met him, the typical story male, instant connection, thought I’d hit the jackpot.

He was smart and funny and intelligent and ambitious and charming and treated me like a queen. And I, you know, I had never been treated so well, wined and dined and lived together for five years. Many thought I was on top of the world until three years in and pregnant with my first son, getting into our first property, a condo and the money.

Control and power started and other ways of control. And, you know, and it just one thing led to another. I had another son, we moved to another house, another community. It was decided I would be home with the children and he used it as another device of control with him being money is power, that was his thing.

I had none and it caused a lot of health issues for me, which kept me down and complacent in a lot of ways. I suffered horribly from depression, just deep depression. Most of the time I was depressed more than I wasn’t. It was hard. I tried, I just soldiered on. I just was trying to be a good mother and did everything I needed to do. And I had very bad adrenal issues and thyroid issues. I had no energy, and brain fog constantly.

I don’t know how I got through it when I look back. I had half a life, you know, aches and pains, weight gains, weight loss, anxiety, never feeling safe. Just, but then as in many marriages and relationships like this, there’s just enough crumbs of good stuff to keep you going, you know?

And I just, I knew deep down this was wrong. It wasn’t right. It was crazy-making. There were days when he was at work and the kids were at school, I would just go in the car to a remote area and scream my head off. I just was so beside myself, knowing something was horribly wrong and not knowing what to do, feeling so helpless, hopeless, and powerless.

I was constantly hitting my head against the wall to figure this out, figure him out, make things better.

Melanie
Yeah, and I just want to jump in and talk about that Lorraine, because I know that you were spiritual for a lot of years and a lot of people who have been in toxic relationships have reached out to spirituality and truth-seeking and, and are often avid people trying to improve ourselves and heal ourselves to heal our relationships. So what did you do? Like what did you read or what did you connect to?

Lorraine
Well, when the pendulum swung and I was feeling a tiny bit better, I would, a lot of the people you’ve mentioned, you know, Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Joe Dispenza, I would just read lots of other people. Neale Donald Walsh, I would take classes, I would do affirmations, I would do meditations, I would, I did theta healing, I did herbology, I did nutrition, I did, you know, I did everything. And I learned a lot.

And it felt good in the interim, it helped a little. But as I learned from you later, the missing link really was getting the trauma out, shifting the trauma as somatic. You can’t, as you always eloquently say, you can’t just put ice cream on poop, and it’s just not going to work.

Melanie
Which was the late Debbie Ford’s expression and I loved it from the moment I heard it because it’s such a great visual and the trauma is the poop and we have to get it out.

Lorraine
Yes, it got me to the next point and the next point until another downward turn. And it was just this back and forth constantly and no semblance of self. And just each time you just lost a little more of yourself and got more hopeless. Yes, yes, you know.

Melanie
A lot of us never would have got through 45 years. So that shows how strong you were and your coping mechanisms to a point, even though you’re breaking down, keep you there. And also too, it’s a big deal, you know, when that’s all you’ve known to get out of a relationship.

Lorraine
Right. I invested so much in this relationship and didn’t want to break up my family, but knew at a gut level that, how could I stay in this marriage? And it took a few more breakdowns for me to finally, finally wake up. And for many years, I didn’t know he was a narcissist. I just knew he was toxic.

And that, you know, I think I’ve had several breakdowns, but the first one was really finding out when his career took off in high tech that he was travelling a lot constantly. And I was home alone with the kids and he’s gone two weeks, three weeks at a time to Asia and other places.

And I found out he was engaging in sexual liaisons, you know, one-off ones. And my world was rocked and completely broken.

And yet what was really, that part was bad, but the worst part was facing myself in the mirror and seeing and knowing that I was the type of woman that was too, I was so codependent and so traumatized and so scared about leaving that I couldn’t even then.

And, a few more breakdowns happened and he had vision issues, but always had good corrective lenses. things that started going downhill for his vision and he couldn’t drive anymore when we moved to this other state. But he decided to use it as a device of control.

That, oh, since I need you to take, I did all the driving, which I had no problem with, I never complained. I was happy to help him, but he decided consciously, oh, I can control her even more now, I can control her whereabouts.

Melanie
So how did you find out about our Thriver community? How did that happen?

Lorraine
Well, after we moved to this other state, I reconnected with an old college friend. She had found out about your NARP program and she told me about it. I was blown away because I had just recently found out from my research that he was a narcissist and that was enough of a shock.

So finding out about NARP was what broke everything open for me. I finally had a way. I wanted to leave my marriage. I just didn’t feel, I didn’t know how I could do it. I was so entrenched, so trauma-bonded. And then I had names for everything. I had names for the cognitive dissonance, the peptide addiction and everything I was feeling. You know, I could finally say I’m not crazy here.

Melanie
So it explained what was going on. So what happened when you started doing the modules? Cause you were still with him at the time. So what happened for you?

 


 

Lorraine
Some space opened up inside me. I could see that okay I was scared to death but I was going to babystep this and I did I kept at it, even on days I didn’t feel like it, and more and more space opened up and more and more grace, more and more compassion for myself happened.

The way you design the modules is, in retrospect, so beautiful. You totally understand the process we go through, going from one to the next to the next. I just followed along. I didn’t try to jump around, and it really helped, you know, and it in the process was just so true on how what you go to next, and next.

I just kept at it and the lockdown happened so I had no excuses. I turned, you know, the lockdown was horrible for everyone, no doubt. But since I was stuck there with him and I wasn’t, I couldn’t physically leave right away but I knew if I just stuck to it, I could. And I did and I turned my thinking around about the lockdown and said, you know what, it’s probably the best thing that ever happened to me because I had no excuses. I had nowhere to go.

No people to see. I had my privacy. I went into one part of the house. He went in the other with his projects. And I said I’m closing this door. I’m meditating to feel better. And you know, he didn’t know about it, of course, and he didn’t like it, but after a while, he got used to it. So I would spend half my days in there, NARPing and journaling and inner work. Yes, yes. And…

Melanie
You were in there doing the inner work, getting the trauma out, getting the light in.

Lorraine
There was lots of help. Your blogs are amazing. I would read them over and over. And it just, you would always, you would just find every angle on every subject and fill it completely. So you’re always hitting something. Something was always resonating. Or if I didn’t understand it, I did it. I did understand it in another month or two months or whatever. And your videos were amazing. And, you know, Thriver videos, you know, were incredible and getting me encouraged to keep going.

You know that healing is not linear, you’re going all over the place with it, but if you stick to it and stick with NARP, you know what she says and what she says will happen if you stick to it really does happen. If it can happen for me, a 66-year-old woman who spent her whole adult life being narcissistically abused and that I could dig myself out of that hole and get through. You can too. I know you can.

This whole community, I’ve taken many classes from you and we have a strength we don’t even know. You know, because if we’re in this community, we’re strong. We may not feel strong every day, but we’re strong. And we know deep down that we are worthy and until we can get the debris out of the way, you know, just like the saying goes, the sun is always shining. You just have to get the clouds out of the way.

Melanie
It’s so true. Yeah. And just to unpack that a little bit, you know, what I love about that. Yeah. Look COVID, you know, put you in that situation, but what we find with all of our Thrivers, including beautiful people like you Lorraine, is we’ve had long-term people even in their eighties, get out to the other side.

Lorraine
Yes, and that encouraged me.

Melanie
Yeah, yeah, which is so beautiful. And by the way, you look amazing for 66. What I love about all of our thrivers when the traumas out and the light gets in, you start glowing. You know, it’s

Lorraine
Look what I found. I found my smile again.

Melanie
Your cells are smiling. And I just want people to understand and I say it all the time, the blogs and the blogs and my videos are supplements, but the true inner work that makes the difference 100% of the time is “the trauma out the light in” which is the actual modules and then the supplements help give you the guidance, the encouragement, the understanding. But understanding is not innerstanding. Information is not transformation.

So people Lorraine are going to be pretty shocked to hear you’ve only been out of the marital house for four and a half months. You are basically not suffering aftershock.

Lorraine
That’s right.

Melanie
Aftershock is that phenomenon where most people leave and you may have people tell you, well, you’ve left, you’re going to be all right now. You’re not because the trauma from yesterday, last week, last month, last year hit you like a freight train.

And a lot of people go back or a lot of people get on medication or just all sorts of things to try and cope because you feel like you’re dying. You feel like you’re losing your mind. Now you’ve barely gone through that.

Now I know the reason. I see the night and day recoveries and the day recoveries are you clean out any triggers with NARP, you keep working the modules and healing and you’re doing speedy shifts now aren’t you too?

Lorraine
I am, I mean, I, oh, I can’t tell you how happy I am with Speedy Shifts. I feel like, you know, when our parents talked about, you know, when they were young, they had to walk five miles through the snow to get to school and whatever it’s like.

Now, you know, from the other NARP to Speedy NARPs, it’s like quantum, you know, upleveling. And anyone, get Speedy Shifts. If you’re new to NARP, do the NARP. Because you need to have that basis. I really do believe that. And there are some SpeedyNarp modules as well now, which I’ve done and which are fabulous.

My god, you got eight minutes, then get in there and do it. And I’ve done it from day one of leaving my ex and I’m not going to stop. I’m, I’m hooked. It’s the way, it’s the only way is the quantum way. And once you feel it and once you do it and really feel the difference, you’re never going back. You can’t go back to the way you lived before. You just can’t.

Melanie
It’s beautiful. And yeah, I love it when you left him, because it was you just basically declared it and did it, didn’t you? You were in your power.

Lorraine
I surprised myself.

I was done when I was done, I was done. And I worked through a lot of the fears. I worked those modules big time, especially the one about not taking responsibility for him in regards to his vision disability. It was probably my last bastion of feeling a little guilty or whatever, but I worked on that. I cleared it and I addressed it on day one with him.

I spoke my truth to that man for six weeks. He tried to work on me to change my mind and I wasn’t changing my mind.

But every time I told him my truth, it got easier and easier. And I was able to disconnect, and I was the leader of the whole process. I was willing to, um, lose it all to, to get it all, but I had a plan and I knew what he needed and wanted and I leveraged it. So I think I surprised him. He’s a big businessman, type A person. He did not expect that from me.

Yes. So it was only four months that we went through the process at home together until I left. It wasn’t a long time. And I kept to myself and didn’t let him enter into my space. And he had no choice but to capitulate.

Melanie
I love this Lorraine because here’s the thing, you know, outside there in the normal non MTE non-Thriver narcissistic abuse recovery program world, everybody believes we can’t stand up to them. They’re too manipulative. They win in court. They’re all powerful and they literally are the Wizard of Oz behind the curtain pulling levers with this whole smoke screen pyromaniac show. It’s not true.

Lorraine
Exactly. I love that analogy. It’s so him.

Melanie
Because when we get rid of the trauma and align with Source and stand, they capitulate and it happens all the time in this community.

Lorraine
Yes, yes, and especially was helpful in the last few months before I told them we were divorcing. I didn’t ask for the divorce, I told them. And I got a lot of support and help in there, and especially for that. I mean, all through the process, of course.

And I bought the gold and your people are wonderful, the moderators, and you’ve created such an amazing safe space because we’ve all been on the other kinds of forums, and those are not fun.

Melanie
Thank you. Because this is the bunker, this is the battlefield of complete insane toxicity, narcissistic abuse, and being able to disentangle from you. And what comes with NARP is incredible support from the quantum untangling point of view, but also from the practical point of view, because there’s nothing that we haven’t seen in this community over the last 17 years, which is the insanity, which is narcissistic abuse.

Lorraine
That’s the key.

Melanie
We know what they’re going to do. We know their next steps. We know how to get you aligned. We know how to get you to stand up. We know how to help you deal with solicitors and judges to turn that system back to supporting you.

So you beat him!

Lorraine
Yes, and you know, so many of your community don’t have a support network. And that’s what you were providing for so many women and men. It’s absolutely essential. You can’t really do this on your own. If you think you can, it’s going to be very difficult. And the kind of support that Melanie’s organization and her, the NARP, and all the other programs she has in the forum, it’s invaluable folks. It’s a no-brainer.

Melanie
I’m looking at you and you’re just like, you are glowing. You look like you’ve been on collagen supplements for six months!

Lorraine
Well, I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to live life without that toxic energy permeating everything. And it just is night and day. And then to continue to work the program, because you’re doing it within a different with much gusto now because it really is all for you. You’re not about just getting out of the relationship. It’s all for you now.

And now you’re soul-driven. You want to do what your soul imprints, what you need to do, what you want to do in this life. You’re not afraid of the unknown as much, because in the unknown, all the possibilities exist. All of them. And all you’ll find in the unknown is more of yourself. And that’s everything. And you know, we lived in such a limited thinking life and world, and now we don’t have to think that way anymore.

There are new rules. We’re following universal laws. We are creating new rules that support us, you know? So, thanks to you and your program.

Melanie
Oh, Lorraine, I think you should be a motivational speaker. That’s just so gorgeous and so from the quantum heart that you’re sharing that.

Lorraine
Yes, you know, the unknown is like the quantum field. It’s all the possibilities are there. That’s it.

Melanie
So you moved out. Who are you who are you living with now and what are your next steps?

Lorraine
Well, I’m very, very fortunate. I have a wonderful, loving family, three sisters and a mom, and my oldest sister and her husband knew what was going on. I confided in them. In fact, she helped me buy NARP because he’s so controlling about every little charge.

She did it as a gift because she wanted that for me. And I was just touched by that. And they went a bit further. They built a beautiful home out in the country. lots of green and a river and 35 acres.

And they said, please come, we have room for you, plenty of room, come live with us as long as you want and heal and just be, we want that for you. And they’re the kindest, loving, generous people and they have the most beautiful relationship in marriage. And they are such a good example for me.

It’s been wonderful to be here. I came here, I’m just living, just being and feeling good and, you know, working on whatever triggers may be coming up and doing the program and, but doing it, and like I said, in a whole different way with the speedy shifts and some of the NARP speedy shifts. And it’s, I don’t know, it’s more fun because it’s all about me and the possibilities.

I’m in your Thrive program right now, and I’m coming up to week 10 and I’m just, you know, it’s just been amazing. I knew about this program from day one. And you know, it was a dream to be able to take that when I was on the other side. I mean, I thought sometimes I couldn’t get there, but I did. And it has not disappointed.

Melanie
I love that.

Lorraine
If you haven’t done it, you’ve got to take it, if you’re on the other side and you’re having struggles or you just need a little boost, you’ve got to take her Thrive Program. It will really up level you. It really will. It’ll get you really going on your new life and addressing, and she is on fire. You know, it’s one of a private group.

She is on fire and throwing wisdom around and you know, you have the recordings and. I’m going to be re-listening to them and I’ve got a list of shifts going on.

And I highly recommend it. So, and after that, I’m just going to have some plans to do some training online and try a new vocation as a freelance worker. And you know, I don’t know if I’ll like it if I’ll do it. You know, it might lead to something else. I don’t care because I’m quantum now.

I just put one foot in front of the other. I go within. I put out there what I want, not goodies, how I want to feel. Because I can create my life. I get to decide how I feel, not from the outside in. Okay. I’m building a garden in here and creating my life.

Melanie
I love that. It’s my deepest wish that you can inspire one person, but I know you’re going to inspire many. I really do.

Lorraine
Exactly. I am happy to!

Melanie
I guess for a lot of people who have been in a long-term marriage, it’s like a big thing to accept help. It’s a huge thing for a lot of codependents who have been used to holding everything up themselves.

Lorraine
It was, it was very hard for me.

Melanie
I met a woman years ago and I don’t know where she is now I’d love to have her on but she was with a very wealthy successful powerful narcissist. She had nowhere to go. She went to a shelter in her 60s she did the program and she healed. Then an old friend from decades ago got in contact with a very similar story, who worked out in the country, had an art gallery.

She went and stayed, started learning sculpting, worked in the art gallery, met a beautiful man, got married, and gained this whole new community because she was working at cleaning out the trauma, bringing the light and this is exactly what I see for you.

Source/God/Creation gives you the next step and it’s all moving towards your well-being, your flourishing, your nourishing, your true self, your true life. It’s because it’s already who we are without the trauma. So you are so on track. You’re so beautiful. You’re so inspiring. I think you are stunning inside and out. You are the kind of woman who would walk into a room and light it up because you’re lit up from the inside and you’re just beautiful!

Lorraine, do you have any passing thoughts or words of encouragement that you could say to our beautiful listeners?

Lorraine
Yes, well for the long-married folks and of course the other ones as well, it’s just, you know, be compassionate, dig deep, and know that you are worth it. And even though it’s almost like spiritual compensation where I have landed, I was prepared to go wherever I had to go. It didn’t matter because I knew if I worked the program I would be fine.

Things will start coming as you keep opening space believing in yourself and caring for yourself. And it’s not too late. You just need to start. You know, I kept telling myself, stop waiting. Just start. You know, it’s never going to be a perfect situation. You just have to start. And we all can do that. We can.

And, in just the basics, so within, so without, it’s what Mel has been drilling in our heads. And it’s being understood intellectually until you start opening space and getting more healed. Then you realize it’s your inner world. That is your real world.

That’s the reality. Your external world, we live in this world, this 3D world, we have to deal with it, but we don’t have to be dictated by it, right?

So it’s the only way you will be self-generative. It’s the only way you will be happy. It’s the only way you’re going to have the love and approval that you seek is through here. And it’s all so possible and it is happening. Thanks to NARP. It really is.

Melanie
Oh Lorraine, thank you so much. I’m sure people’s cells will be buzzing with love and possibility and you know, you’re amazing. I’m so grateful for you and being a part of our awesome community and thank you for being a dear Thriver and also you know, a dear friend.

Thank you so much and lots of love to everybody.

Lorraine
Thank you. You’re amazing.

I hope that you enjoyed this Thriver Talk with Lorraine and that it has helped you feel that no matter how old you are, or how long the abuse has happened, there is hope!

For more details about NARP – The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program, check it out here.

And, for the Speedy Shift healing evolution for fast trauma healing in minutes – find out more details here.

I look forward to answering your comments and questions below!



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Shifts Happen Transmission – Session 1 – “The Light Wins”

Shifts Happen – Transmission – Session 2 – “Ego Be Gone”

 

It was a joy and honour to speak about Higher Consciousness and Ego today – the expansive part of ourselves beyond the physical. That which we believe is “ourselves” – the limited mind and five sensory realities.

This explained to members the difference between programmed fear, pain and struggle and being freed into flow, power, love, liberation and grace.

Session 2 went deeply into the difference between Separation Consciousness and Unity Consciousness and why the former has been responsible for warring, dis-ease, lack and traumatic struggles, including the ones we can have in our own everyday lives!

This conversation, at this pivotal time in Humanity’s history, is how we can awaken to a Higher Level of Consciousness that not only frees us into the lives we dearly want to live but also has the ability to heal our world.

It is my greatest wish today that this following information is soul and life-transformational for you.

I know HOW much you will be able to relate to what is going on in your OWN life right now!

If you have not yet subscribed to my YouTube channel or followed me on Facebook, please do so, and I’d love for you to share my work with others who need it. I’d also love for you to connect with me on Rumble and Instagram.

 

 

Video Transcript

Let’s get started on today’s very important topic, “Ego Be Gone”.

Today is a talk about a consciousness shift from who you thought you were being to who you really are.

This is vital information – for you to feel whole, happy, loved, deserving and FULL –  meaning having risen out of pain, struggles and traumatic suffering.

By engaging in the consciousness shift that we are talking about today, you will feel whole and happy regardless of what you do or don’t have. That is TRUE freedom from where you can organically and EASILY expand and create – finally knowing that you are Creation itself.

Let’s dive straight into this – what Separation Consciousness is as the playground of the ego and how you have been deceived into living this way.

 

Separation Consciousness

Separation Consciousness is not knowing that you and Source are One, or that Source is within you as you, or innerstanding your capacity as God / Source Consciousness.

In your programmed Separation Consciousness, you feel like a small, separate Identity. You’ve forgotten that your Identity is All That Is, so you try to create a False Identity from the outside in.

This is limited to your physical self, how others see you and what you have or haven’t accomplished.

Interestingly, no matter what you achieve or hope to “do” and “get” to feel worthy of love and acceptance and feel like you belong, something is always missing.

Please know until this Quantum Journey, I had felt like this my entire life!

Then your mind battles to find a way to finally “arrive” somewhere where you will feel whole, acceptable and worthy, yet is conditionally precarious on what happens on the outside.

It constantly tries to gather information about what people think. What do they have that I don’t? Why do others seem to get what they want and I don’t? And … Even after I succeed and get certain things, what more can I get now?

This is because your mind is NOT your True Identity. Your mind is only a servant of your Beingness, and if your Beingness is in Separation Consciousness, not knowing that you and God / Source / Creation are One and you ARE All That Is, with NOTHING missing, then your mind is also in the dark believing it is coming up empty – no matter what it gets.

This is why you are never durably happy! It can only ever be temporary!

Never durably full. Or satisfied. Or safe. Or whole.

And always feel like there is something to feel stressed and hurt about.

You think this is normal, that this is the human “accepted” condition. It’s not – there is nothing natural or normal about it – it is inner programmed insanity!

It’s because you aren’t living life from your True Identity – “Source and I are One”; you are living life through a False Self – a mind that believes everything and everyone else is your Source and Identity.

Please think about the following in relation to our world …

Humans can demonise, violate, desecrate and murder each other when believing they are not at One with them. They are separate, so, therefore, it’s possible. And because we were separated from ourselves, it was possible to despise and treat ourselves with a total lack of care, love and respect.

Just as it became possible to despise God / Source / Creation, not knowing that this is us … all of us, and All That Is – because we thought it was something outer and separated instead of inner and connected.

This is the delusional dis-ease of Separation Consciousness that has taken humans into total darkness and given rise to the False Self – aka ego.

 


 

The Ego – The False Self

Let’s look at how the Ego operates as a disconnected from Source “Edging God Out” Entity.

It …

  • Feels empty, needy, anxious and wanting.
  • Judges self, life and others harshly.
  • Believes that this life is all that there is.
  • Tries frantically to “find something” on the outside to take away the pain.
  • Feels unsafe and unsupported.
  • Has to “know” and won’t stop obsessing.
  • Believes that life works from the outside in, trying to control all aspects of others and all the possibilities.
  • Lives in the pain of the past and the fear of the future.
  • Has only access to programming from the past and information derived from someone else – despite whether or not it is even accurate or true.
  • Does not critically think for self and goes along to get along.
  • Is disconnected from intuition (the inner GPS – God Protection System).
  • Has no Inner Identity other than what can be gleaned from the outside.
  • Will sacrifice self for supposed security.

This is an incredibly limited and painful capacity that leaves you always coming up empty and continually being traumatised.

Now, let’s examine the rise of consciousness that is happening for humankind right NOW and is more available than it ever has been.

 

The God / Source – True Self

  • Let’s go of internal trauma and fills up where that trauma was with Source’s Light.
  • As a result of filling with Source’s Light, activates into feeling whole, safe and “at home” right now unconditionally.
  • Doesn’t resist events but rather accepts all of it as evolutionary evidence: “I’m aligned” or the gift of knowing how to move into alignment.
  • Knows self as immortal, eternal and infinite – The God Source Self.
  • Knows that when one’s inner self is shifted into Light and peace, all else follows.
  • Feels safe and supported.
  • Has no need to know absolutes or outcomes and simply aligns with right action in the now.
  • Has access to All That Is and information that is the truth of Existence Itself.
  • Is alive, functional and whole in the moment.
  • Is guided by Inner Infinite Knowing.
  • Knows truth and sees through illusions.
  • Knows self as at One with Source.
  • Innerstands the connectedness of all things.
  • Will lose comfort and security to gain one’s True Self and True Life – the only life that is aligned and durably fulfilling.

Now let’s look at the passage of the dissolving of the ego to the birth of the True Self …

 

Ego “Be Gone” to True Self “I’m Home

I know that the True Self may seem like a dream come true, yet this is your organic self that just IS. It’s your defunct Separation Consciousness programming that has foisted this way of living upon you that is totally unnatural and completely traumatised you.

Who has this benefitted? Definitely not you and not the citizens of the world.

It has served the agenda of people who want you disempowered, fighting against each other, fearing all sorts of crises, being in the dark and seeking outside authorities other than your Soul Source Self – all for power and control of people and resources.

It’s all been a narcissistic anti-life, anti-human, anti-Source / God / Creation model.

Now, can you accept the truth?

I know you may feel very attached to your old way of thinking and living life “from the outside in” and wanting things to “please your ego”, and that’s totally understandable. It was all you knew.

However, to stay in this old system is becoming intensely painful and ineffective. Now, in the egoic mind, results are non-forthcoming. It is like walking around the block fifty times to try to cross the road.

If, on an inner level, you aren’t feeling whole, the veil of manifestation is so thin now (Source / Creation and You are One), the results will be painful, no matter what you try to do.

Life from the inside, being your True Source Self, is the only one that has any pleasing, happy and healthy results now.

Because you are Creator.

The reason why we are having this conversation, now, is because it’s TIME to!

The old 3rd density paradigms, fear, pain, separation, trauma, dis-ease, lack and fear structures, are being exposed and coming up to be released and finalised. They can no longer hide in the shadows.

This is why, right now, you are seeing people and situations in your life which are no longer tenable. Individuals and things are falling away. Additionally, you are getting powerful intuition and knowing. You are experiencing your Self more and more beyond the physical, as you REALLY are – telepathic, intuitive and knowing.

The era of “Power Over” “Separation Consciousness”, and “being in the Dark Ages” has run its Course.

Now, more than ever, you can surrender to and BE who you were born to be. It’s time to heal, not just for ourselves but for the collective. To raise and unify within ourselves, back to Source and with each other.

That is what the rise of Unity Consciousness is all about.

We can shed the trauma, lies and shackles and know ourselves as the True Human, taking our place in The Light, as we were always designed to do – rendering narcissistic, deranged inner and outer tyrants powerless against us.

They could only ever operate when we were in the dark.

But we aren’t anymore.

Let’s now do the Quanta Freedom healing shifts to really bring this home.

…End Of Transmission…

 

In Conclusion

If you are subscribed to Shifts Happen Membership all of this event, “Ego Be Gone” is now available for viewing on your Members Hub

This includes:

Part 1 – Transmission Video

Part 2 -The Global Quanta Freedom Healing™ x2 Sessions

Part 3-Additional Speedy Shift Tips … and

Part 4 – The Live Q and A

If you haven’t yet become a Shift’s Happen member to receive your Live Link to weekly global group ascension healing sessions and all previous session recordings, we would love to welcome you into our epic Global Quantum Community!

Last week’s event, which people are reporting was their most powerful healing, “The Light Wins”, is there waiting for you as a part of your membership.

This week’s Shifts and Light Code downloads were even stronger. The Global Group energy power is building!

I also feel very inspired about next week’s Shifts Happen Session 3 – “Free To Be Me”, because I know how life-changing this information will be for you

I look forward to answering your comments and questions about this transcript below



Read More –>

Thriver TV Special : Thriver Talk With Anita

Thriver TV Special : Thriver Talk With Anita

I’m so delighted to introduce Anita, one of the bravest and strongest members of our Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program.

I have known Anita for a couple of years now, as a student of mine as well as a program member. And it has been an absolute honour and joy to witness her journey through the incredible traumas she has faced.

For many of you, it may be difficult to imagine what Anita has lived through. She has endured an abusive relationship with her narcissistic mother and has gone through the incredibly tumultuous and painful experience of a divorce with a narcissist.

But not only did she survive… she excelled in the face of it all. She and her dream team of lawyers achieved a powerful court case win despite enduring multiple obstacles.

So, to begin her story, let’s start with her narcissistic mother. All of it exploded in 2020 when Anita had been stuck in quarantine in Guatemala. She got back home, and two weeks in, her mother passed away from a stroke. Of course, this was a traumatic experience for Anita, but it was also made so much worse by what her mother did in her will.

It took Anita a while before she could understand why this was. With the help of an incredibly dear friend who saw through the situation, Anita got the NARP Gold package and dove right in.

Despite not quite understanding what NARP was or what it was doing, Anita went through it. And it was through it that she had a breakdown that enabled all the memories of her ritualistic abuse to return. For almost an entire year, she was in the valley of the shadow of death, feeling sick to her bones all the time and wanting to die every second.

But from here, something amazing happened. Anita started to use NARP to shift her life in her favour. She shifted her focus towards her trauma and set her mind to creating the optimal conditions for a successful court case.

Through trial and error, she eventually found the right mix of shifts to honour her values and truths. And it’s what separates her from most “victims”… she was unafraid of fighting back and honing her power – through her shifts – to reclaim her life and legal victory!

 

 

Video Transcript

Mel:
Welcome, dear friends, to this Thriver TV story. If you have not yet subscribed to my YouTube channel, please do so, and I’d love for you to share my work with others who need it.

And I have the absolute joy and pleasure of introducing Anita, one of the bravest people I’ve ever met. She’s a dear friend.

I’ve known her for a couple of years as a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program member. She’s also been a student of mine, and I just love her to pieces. And Anita, thank you for coming forward and sharing your story.

Anita:
Well, thank you for inviting me, Mel. It’s a real honour. Thank you.

Mel:
And I know, Anita, that there are so many details of your story from the narcissistic mum, which we’re going to go into, and your experience of ritualistic abuse, which is a topic that a lot of people don’t want to talk about. And I’m thrilled that you are talking about it because you’re not the first person in this community who’s come forward with that trauma.

And also, you went through a tumultuous, painful divorce from a narcissist. But you ended up being able to create and win a really powerful court case. And you had your dream legal team.

But anyway, okay, I digress. Well, so the situation with your narcissistic mum kind of all exploded in 2020. Share with us what happened there.

Anita:
Yeah, I’d been locked down in Guatemala, where I worked with cacao. I got back. I quarantined with my mother. And then, two weeks in, she died of a stroke. And I was very traumatized by what she’d done in her will, which was distinctly narcissistic, shall we say. And a very dear friend of mine, who was already on the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program, said, “Anita, it looks like your mother was a narcissist.”

And he very, very kindly bought me the NARP Gold package. And so, I diligently started doing the shifts, even though I didn’t understand what I was doing. I went through all the shifts, and that’s how I started working with NARP initially.

Mel:
So, the original stuff you were working on with NARP, were they to do with your mum, ex-husband, or a combination of both?

Anita:
At the time, it was just the stuff coming up with my mother. And the recognition that I’d been abused by her all my life and that there was a name for it, and it was called narcissistic personality disorder. I just thought she was an evil distortion of what a mother should be, but it was a relief to be able to put a label on it, so to speak, and find other people had been victims of that sort of behaviour.

Mel:
Exactly. Coming into our community is an eye-opener for many people because it’s like, “Oh, my gosh, this isn’t just my story. This is so many people’s story as well.” Okay. Because she passed away. So, when you started doing the modules, what happened to you?

Anita:
So, when I started doing the modules, there wasn’t much happening initially. I had to go through a fairly big breakdown for the modules to start working. And that breakdown involved a very acrimonious divorce with my former husband, where he announced that he was going to help himself to half of my property. He stole my business and took away pretty much everything of value to me.

Mel:
Very typical.

Anita:
Fairly standard with that sort of personality.

But I hadn’t realized that he was displaying all the attributes and qualities of a narcissist. So, I had a nervous breakdown. And then, from there, all the memories of the ritual abuse came back. And I went through a year of the valley of the shadow of death, as I like to call it, where every single second of the day, I just wanted to die.

The memories were so painful that every single cell in my body felt sick, and I was on the verge of ending it all when one of the NARP programs popped up in my inbox, and I thought, “This is my last chance, saloon. It’s either this or not being here.” Yeah.

Mel:
When we first connected, I remember you had that spark of life and hope. You are a slither of what you are today. You could see that there was this beautiful, amazing woman who was hanging on her last thread. And I’ve seen this a lot with people from ritualistic abuse who are activated into it, and the trauma is so huge. But you had it all going on everywhere.

The mum, the ritualistic abuse, the husband, the ex taking your property, taking your business, taking every part of you. So, okay, what happened next?

Anita:
Yeah. Well, I would look on the NARP Community Forum and see thrivers and NARPers having these spectacular court wins, and I thought, “How the hell am I going to get there? This is just impossible. How am I going to get from here, where I am now, in this place of just absolute desolation, fearing that I’m going to be made destitute, unable to engage with the legal process?” I was even unable to speak about it because I was so traumatized. “How am I going to be able to get from this place to a spectacular court win?” It just seemed beyond me.

So, I just kept shifting. My biggest breakthrough was a shift where I suddenly thought, “Oh, my God, I’m going to target the trauma in my body that’s generating the blocks and obstacles to my engaging with the legal process.”

Yeah, and it was like, bam, everything shifted. I was able to operate from a place of analysis and logic and deduction, as well as a kind of soul sermon if you like. I mean, that one shift cleared away so much and enabled me to operate from a position of power and ownership in this divorce process.

And then, from there, I became more and more adept at steering the course of the shifts and tailoring them to create the conditions, if you like, and attract the right people so that I’d be able to honour myself, honour my values and truths, which I’d never actually known what they were in the first place. So, it was like a multidimensional process as well, focused around the court case.

 


 

Anita:
So, all this stuff just came flooding in. It was like, “Oh, my God, I am worth something. Oh, my God, my business is worth something. All that equity that I put into that business that he’s stolen, that was worth something. My rights, my truths, my values they’re valuable to me.

And in honouring them, I’m honouring my soul and my soul path, and the creator of which I’m part of creation.”

It was multi-dimensional. It was a huge and even further spiritual awakening. So it made it more engageable, if you like, this court process, knowing that it was part of a bigger spiritual picture.

Mel:
That’s so well put. And it’s so true. And all of our ascension and healing and well-being, including finances represents the sole value. It’s the health, it’s the mental, it’s the emotional, it’s the spiritual, it’s all of those things combined.

So, what was the outcome in court? I know when you told me, I’m just like, what? That’s so cool. And witnessing stuff happening, like a big shift. And people listening to this, I know, because out in the normal non-quantum world, what happens is people are like, well, you can’t beat narcissists in court since the court and solicitors and judges are a part of the narcissistic system.

And it is, even for normal things, it can be awful. But in line with the quantum law of so within-so without, when we shift on the inside, massive things happen. So, yeah, explain what happened.

Anita:
Yeah. So I went from a place of being unable to engage with the process, even speaking to my solicitor about what had been going on, and trying to explain that I was with a psychopathic narcissist and everything was not going in my favour. We had a financial dispute resolution. It was like a second hearing. And I got pasted. I was painted as a greedy, grasping woman who wanted to keep every single penny from the marriage, and he was painted as this poor kind of trodden-over husband.

Anyway, I couldn’t have felt more battered, so I had to crawl off and do more shifts. And I thought, no, this doesn’t feel right. This isn’t aligned with my soul truth. And despite what my solicitor told me, she said, “Oh no, you’re just going to have to go to give him 50% of the property.” I said, “No, this does not feel right and is not aligned with my soul. No.”

Mel:
You are supposed to instruct your solicitor, not the other way around. And we fall for that stuff all the time. So yeah, keep going.

Anita:
So I sacked her.

Mel:
Yeah. Good.

Anita:
I found through a friend a spectacular lady who was described as lethal, and she certainly was. She prepared me a magnificent case, and I hoped it wouldn’t get to a final hearing, but the other half wanted a final hearing. He wanted his day in court. He wanted to annihilate me.

So she had recommended a barrister, who was an absolute super sleuth. And I have to say, I called in my perfect legal team. Now, he’d read my case notes because he was diligent, and he was like, “Something’s not right here.” So we went into the final hearing, and we broke for lunch. I had to give my evidence. I was just about to go up into the witness box.

And what had happened before that was that in real-time during the court, they’d uncovered that my former husband was concealing his assets, and he’d been lying and perjuring himself in court. And so I got an amazing deal. I didn’t have to give evidence in the end, his solicitors came back and said, “Right, okay, we have to make a deal,” because he was screwed.

So I was just in shock. I couldn’t believe it. I broke down in tears. It was just the most amazing, miraculous thing that had ever happened. And I was thinking, I’m going to need a miracle to sort this shit out. And I got one. Yeah, I got one.

Mel:
And Anita, we see it all the time. We see that an internal shift can be an outer thing. And that’s what you were listening to when people said, “Well, I had this miracle.” We’ve had cases where the narcissist broke down and couldn’t get to the court, and the judge decided without them, and the most incredible synchronicity has happened. So I’m so thrilled.

So what I love about that is you honoured yourself. When we’re in the fear and when we’re in the trauma and we don’t feel like an authority, and we don’t have value, we’re not listening to that inner voice. And when that solicitor said, “Well, you’ve got to take that deal,” we’re in fear and trauma, we just do that. We go along, and we end up getting throttled.

But you’ve done enough to have a shift inside you to listen to your guidance and stand in it and move with that. And then that moves universes. And that’s exactly what happened. So when did your friend recommend the new solicitor who was ruthless? Was it after you shifted and chose to go your own way?

Anita:
Oh, that was my choice. It was like I had this internal sat nav, a moral compass aligned with my soul, that was getting stronger and stronger and stronger, like a strongly beating heart. And I felt like I had to honour it, regardless of what solicitors were saying, regardless of what the judge had said. It was like I had to honour myself.

It felt very empowering doing that and discerning that my current solicitor was very mediocre and calling in someone who was powerful, incisive, who was intelligent, and who was strong. And I did that through shifting and through intention setting.

Yeah. And always I was going back to the forum. I was getting inspiration from the community, just reading about successes. I was getting inspiration from-

Mel:
And for people, that’s our global community, the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program Community Forum, a private community where all members can get coaching and support 24/7/365. But yeah, they’re amazing in there.

Anita:
Yeah. So I mean, I would say to all NARPers, take a moment to be still and go inside and feel into what your truths and your values are. And if it doesn’t feel right to you, regardless of what a judge is saying, a solicitor is saying, or anyone else is saying, it’s got to feel right to you.

And if it feels right to you, then there’s a way to be able to get the support that you need and call it in. Please work with your shifts to get to the place of honouring your soul and your values, whatever they are and however they’re expressed in the material world, whether that’s your property, your business or your child.

Mel:
Yeah, very good. Beautiful share. It is so important not just to accept or believe that you’re up against a narcissist; you’re going to get throttled, and there’s nothing you can do. It’s just not true. These people get quite powerless, and they unravel when we step into our power, and that’s what’s so exciting. They’re not as tough as what they make out to be at all.

So, Anita, like the breakdown, I want to talk a bit more about that.  I want you to share with people how bad it was and how you felt when you were in that place.

Anita:
That was possibly the toughest period of my life. I didn’t think I was going to get through it. I didn’t think I’d be here now. Every single cell in my body felt like it was sick. I just felt like I was dying a million times across all my lifetimes and into my soul. It was horrific and inescapable. I couldn’t escape from this torment and the memories that were coming up.

My inner world was on steroids and acid. It was quite horrible. I mean, I can look back on it now and kind of laugh about it, which is a testament to the amount of inner work that’s taken place.

But when I came back to doing some deeper work with NARP, I was literally at the Last Chance Saloon. I thought, “If this doesn’t work, I’m going to end it because I can’t bear being in this body anymore. I can’t bear it.” It was just horrific. And I had done some great work with some amazing shamanic healers.

Mel:
I remember you saying.

Anita:
Yeah. I’ve trained and qualified as a shamanic practitioner myself, so I knew what was going on on a multidimensional level, and even then, it was just unbearable. Although I say, without that, I guess I would’ve been even more confused. So, at least I had that perspective and the shifts as well to be able to clear all this stuff out of my body.

But yeah, MTE Support were amazing. I know at the time you had Violet, and I reached out to Violet several times, and she was like a lifeline. She knew intuitively how to support me and what to say. Honestly, those MTE members were like angels during that time. All I did for a year was maybe lie on my bed and shift. That’s all I could do. I could barely leave the house. I was in a state of very, very deep depression. And looking back on it now, it was like a different lifetime.

Mel:
So, how did it start feeling different? What happened?

Anita:
My internal world shifted, and that was reflected in my external world. My external world had, for pretty much all of my life, been very haphazard and chaotic, and I started to see more structure. This is all taking place at the same time as the court hearing, so I was able to bring more structure into my life.

I was able to show up for myself more and make choices that were based on a deeper soul level rather than informed by trauma, bad habits, patterns, or addictions.

Mel:
I remember back then the battles that you were having with certain decisions, as we can all do before we start healing enough that are self-sabotage and self-harming, which align with how we’re not valuing ourselves, and you started to come out of that.

It’d be so interesting to show people the pictures, the photos of the Anita I met, and the glowing beautiful creature that you are now because you are. You’re just stunning. It’s like two different people.

Anita:
Yes, I agree with you. I just want to say to all the NARPers out there who are struggling with addictive patterns and behaviours that I had all the addictions except for heroin, crack, and gambling. I was addicted to alcohol, substances, sugar, dairy, and nicotine. I was addicted to a party lifestyle, sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

Just all the stuff. I mean, at the time, I didn’t realize that what I was trying to do was to distract myself from my inner world. Like I said, I want to say to all the NARPers out there, with the shifting, I noticed that these addictions were diminishing. I would reach for them less. It was as if my body didn’t want them, my soul didn’t want them, or I didn’t need them. And gradually, it’s almost as if they began diminishing of their own accord.

So I didn’t have to use my will or force myself into refusing these patterns. It was as if the internal battle had just vanished. There just wasn’t even a battle anymore. It just wasn’t even a thing, which was such a wonderful reward. And I’d made space for other things to come in. I’d made space for nourishing interests and hobbies and people to come into my life. And so I started to be able to choose that.

Mel:
I know some of the people you’ve connected with who are gorgeous in your world, in the U.K., and the stuff you do, and they’re stunning people.

Anita:
Yeah. And so rather than connecting, again, with abusive people or parasitic people or people who didn’t value me, I was connecting with loving and genuine people – people who valued me, and who saw me and who understood me.

I’ve also noticed that when I’ve reconnected with old friends, I say friends in the loosest possible term, and they haven’t aligned with this new version of me, they’ve fallen away very quickly, which is great.

Mel:
Which is great. Yeah, because it’s hard to bring people up to your level. It’s much better if they’re at your level or you’re growing together, which I love. Anita, honestly, I’ve always with you felt like, even though we’re around the same age, I felt like a bit of a mother hen.

No, I do because I’ve always loved you and seen you in your battle and seen who you are. And also, you reminded me of myself years ago. It’s not about me. It’s about you. But years ago, when I was on death’s door, and I thought I could never recover from my breakdown, and I’d been plagued with addictions all my life, although, after hearing your list, I think you had a better crack at it than I did, I think you’re right up there on the queen of addictions.

But mine were bad, too, so I saw so much of my journey in you. And I’d had some massive big trauma on just very deep sexual levels, too, which you’ve had at a much worse level. So it’s heartwarming for me to see because it was death/rebirth for you.

And what’s so exciting about you is that you are such a gifted, incredible lady. If I were in the U.K., I would attend your workshops. I seriously would. And I want to give you a big plug because Anita is… Please explain what you do.

Anybody in the U.K., we’ll put Anita’s details up so that you can connect up if you want to, and I would suggest it. So what do you do? Explain it to people.

Anita:
Yeah. So, I am a cacao ceremonialist. Cacao is the ancestral medicine of the Mayan people. And cacao has got the most wonderful, wonderful healing benefits. Cacao was there for me on my healing journey with NARP because cacao brought me into my body and allowed me to connect to the earth and also to connect to higher dimensions as well. But most importantly, she’s a medicine of embodiment.

And there were times when I couldn’t get up in the morning. I’d open my eyes and think, “Oh my God, I’m here again.” And the thing that got me out of bed was that trip to the blender to make my cacao.

I know I’ve segued, but I felt it important to share how instrumental cacao was in my healing journey.

So, I’ve been working with cacao since 2014. I serve cacao at ceremonies, and I also work as a shamanic practitioner and energy healer, sharing cacao in my one-to-one healings. And I also make chocolates. I’m very well known for the chocolate that I make, which is made in sacred space and is divinely delicious.

Mel:
You’ll have to send me some to Cape Trib. I want to try some of your chocolates.

I’m going to try some of your chocolates.

Anita:
Okay. It’s a date.

Mel:
I’ll buy some. Yeah, you have to send me some. I’d love to try them.

Anita:
Yeah, for sure. Yes, I will.

Mel:
If chocolate’s healthy, I’m all over it.

Anita:
Yeah, well, they’re healthy chocolate. So here’s a dish of my chocolates. We’ve got Radha and Krishna’s Love Garden, which is that one. That is a cardamom chocolate with crystallized ginger, pistachio and banana.

And we’ve got tantric breakfast, which is… I know. Do you fancy a tantric breakfast?

Mel:
Sounds exciting. That sounds dangerous, actually.

Anita:
Which is cayenne chocolate with a handmade brittle of cashew nuts and maple syrup, vanilla and dates.

Mel:
So you make these?

Anita:
I make those, yes. Yeah.

Mel:
Oh, my gosh.

Anita:
And they are plant-based, so they’re made with coconut milk powder, they’re made with maple sugar, and they’re made with coconut sugar. So, there’s no dairy, no cane sugar, and the base is ceremonial grade cacao, so they’re also a medicine. Yeah.

Mel:
Oh, my goodness. So look at you now that all this trauma’s out of your cells and all this creativity that bursts forth. And this is what I love so much about people who go through the dark dungeon of narcissistic abuse. To get out of it, you must let go of the trauma and get the light in.

And then when that source light comes in, you activate into soul mission and purpose. I’m so proud and excited for you. I love the stuff that you are getting out there and doing in the world now. And you’re an inspiration, Anita, and I hope that you can be an inspiration to other people still in the dark breakdown in the bowels of hell.

You and I have both been there, so Anita, what would you say to people who have come across my work? They’re looking at this community, who are in those dark places. What could you share with them?

Anita:
I’d love to say, invest in yourself. If you value yourself, but at the same time, you feel that you are disempowered and that you have no control over your life, coming to NARP is the most fantastic way to break through lifetimes.

We’re not just talking about this lifetime but also about ancestral stuff and other lifetimes. So, regardless of whether you resonate with that, this is what the shifting is all about. So we’ve got DNA codes literally in our blood, and doing the quantum healing helps to dissolve these habits and patterns that have been holding us back from being the very best versions of ourselves. And yeah, do it. Yeah.

Also, these shifts allow you to come into your body and start to make peace with your body. For many of us who’ve experienced abuse, the body is a very unsafe place to be. It’s been the platform for trauma. We don’t trust our bodies. They’ve heard other people, felt pain, and are carriers of pain. So, doing these shifts is a really beautiful way.

Engaging with the whole NARP and Quantum Freedom healing process is the most wonderful way of returning to your body and making peace with your body, learning to trust your body again, taking ownership of your body and beginning to love yourself. And that was one of the biggest takeaways that I had. Loving my body, loving myself and taking ownership of my body and my whole being.

Mel:
And you’ve become such a goddess who’s in her heart and body. When we first met, of course, you were traumatized, disconnected, disassociating and couldn’t even feel.

You’re now an embodied goddess, and I’m sure anybody looking at you and listening to you can hear it. It’s coming from your soul now.

Anita, thank you so much, darling, for coming on and for being such a special dear friend in my life and a fellow traveller. I love you to pieces.

Anita:
Oh, thank you, Mel. Thank you so much. It’s such an honour. Thank you.

Mel:
And how can people contact you if they’re in the UK to experience your cacao stuff and your products?

Anita:
Yeah. So the website is coming soon. I’ve mainly been involved in the divorce for the last two years, so the website’s been on the back burner. So, currently, I’m doing everything from my Instagram while the website is under construction. So, I post my stuff on my Instagram, and once my website is up, I’ll be posting on my website. So, if people want to reach out to me on Instagram and also take a look at my work, I’ve got a card here.

Mel:
Yeah. You need to bring it over in front of your face, so yeah. Okay. I’ll tell you what, honey. We’re going to put it up. We’ll put it up. What’s your Instagram handle?

Anita:
My Instagram handle is my name, anitabrulee_sacredhearts.

Mel:
Beautiful. Beautiful. So we’ll put that up with this interview as well, and people can find out more about cacao and get on to you, and that’s exciting. All right, honey. Thank you so much for taking this time this morning.

It’s your morning, it’s my evening, but it’s always awesome to hang out with you. And every time I see you, you look more and more beautiful, truly.

You are age-reversing. You look ten years younger than the last time I saw you. You do.

Anita:
Oh, gosh. Well, I’ve been doing the medical medium food – so lots of celery juice and healing foods. That, combined with shifting, has been amazing.

Mel:
All things are healthy, and I love it when we put combos together. It’s just so powerful. All right, gorgeous girl. Thank you, and I hope everybody watching this can be inspired to know that it’s never the end. And I love what I believe, that if you are still alive, source, God, creation hasn’t finished with you yet, and you are a perfect example of that, Anita.

Anita:
Thank you, Mel. Love you.

Mel:
I love you, too.

If you wish to access profound healing through the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program, which is now even faster and more effective with the Speedy Shifts Module additions, and be a lifetime member of our incredible Private Community, which grants you 24/7/365 support, join HERE.



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Domestic Violence Custody Cases – Mental Health Professionals vs. Domestic Violence Experts

Domestic Violence Custody Cases – Mental Health Professionals vs. Domestic Violence Experts

By Barry Goldstein

Most custody cases do not involve domestic violence (DV) or child abuse so if courts need assistance, mental health professionals would be an appropriate choice. Family courts are used to relying on mental health professionals for all cases, but this is based on a long history rather than good research. What works best for children in cases where there are reports or evidence of possible DV or child abuse?

Present court responses to possible DV were developed in the 1970s when DV first became a public issue and there was little research. Popular assumptions at the time suggested DV was caused by mental illness or substance abuse, and this led courts to turn to mental health professionals as if they were the experts in DV. Mental illness and substance abuse reduce inhibitions. This means DV abusers influenced by mental illness or substance abuse commit more severe and thus more memorable incidents of abuse. This is where the mistaken assumptions came from. We now know that people will not engage in behavior that they wouldn’t ordinarily consider just because of the reduced inhibitions. In other words, only people who believe they have a right to use abusive tactics to control their intimate partners are a risk to commit DV. DV is not caused by mental illness or substance abuse. Parents can certainly benefit from treatment for mental illness or substance abuse, but these problems do not cause domestic violence behavior.

The Saunders Study found most court professionals, including evaluators, do not have the DV knowledge that courts need. This does not mean mental health professionals cannot contribute to the court’s understanding of a case. Saunders recommends a multi-disciplinary approach that includes DV experts when DV may be an issue. Their expertise is needed to help the court determine if one of the parents committed DV. This means it is a mistake to wait until a finding of DV is made before seeking the benefit of DV expertise.

Unfortunately, a cottage industry of lawyers and mental health professionals has developed to provide approaches that favor abusive fathers. This works for the professionals because DV is about control, including financial control. Most of the financial resources in DV custody cases are controlled by abusive fathers. Parental Alienation Syndrome and other unscientific theories were created and promoted to help abusive fathers take custody from good mothers and help unethical professionals make large incomes. The worst thing a court can do is appoint cottage industry professionals to neutral positions like evaluator or GAL. They do not have the knowledge about abuse that Saunders says is needed and they are biased to help abusers and promote discredited alienation theories.

There are a few wonderful mental health professionals who also have the necessary expertise to help courts understand abuse issues. Psychologists like Dr. Mo Therese Hannah, Dr. Joy Silberg, and Dr. Robin Lynch are examples of psychologists who also have the needed DV expertise. I am generalizing, based on the findings in Saunders and my experience, but most mental health professionals relied on by the courts do not have the necessary DV expertise. Most mental health professionals are not part of the cottage industry and so are trying to be fair to both parents. Inevitably, the mistakes they make favor abusers when they don’t know how to screen for DV and fail to consult with a DV expert.

The purpose of this article is to review the benefits and problems associated with courts relying on just mental health professionals or DV experts. Hopefully we can reduce the present bias for using only mental health professionals and move to the best practices found in Saunders, which requires a multi-disciplinary approach.

Mental Health Professionals Benefits and Risks in DV Cases

Mental health professionals know how to diagnose mental illness. Courts need to know if the parents or children have mental health problems. Courts would need recommendations for how mentally ill children need to be treated. Their condition might suggest custody for one parent over the other. It would emphasize the question of which parent is more familiar with the child’s providers. There might be behavior from one or both parents that exacerbates the child’s condition. The child’s condition might also explain current problems or the child’s response to particular situations.

Courts also need to know if one of the parents has a mental health condition, whether it would prevent them from being a safe parent, and how it might impact their parenting. The other parent might need to adjust their behavior, such as to avoid causing unnecessary stress to help a parent cope with their condition. DV is not caused by mental illness, but it is common for abusers to also have a mental health problem. It is critical that courts understand these are separate problems requiring separate responses. An abuser might need therapy and/or medicine for his mental health condition, but also require accountability for his domestic violence. The common present reliance on mental health professionals often results in an abuser receiving treatment for the mental illness or substance abuse, but nothing is done to respond to his history of DV or child abuse.

Mental health professionals are used to speaking to a variety of people connected to the family, reviewing documents, and organizing the facts, circumstances, and history of the family. I often find this information is helpful in understanding the case even when the professional did not have the DV expertise necessary to recognize the abuse issues in the family.

One of the most surprising findings in Saunders was that social workers tend to make better recommendations in DV custody cases than psychologists or psychiatrists. This was surprising because we usually expect professionals with more education and advanced degrees would understand cases better. One problem was that psychologists tend to rely more on psychological tests that tell us nothing about DV and were not meant for the populations seen in Family Courts. Even in 2023, we still see evaluators discount reports of abuse because the abuser is not mentally ill. Social workers have the advantage of using a more holistic approach. Evaluators often diagnose mothers who are successful in the other areas of their lives with mental health problems that really only reflect her difficulty dealing with her abuser and sometimes with court professionals she views as unwilling to protect her children. These evaluators went wrong because they missed the context.

Saunders found that most evaluators do not have the specific DV knowledge that is needed. They rarely know how to screen for DV, understand risk assessment, post-separation violence, or the impact of DV on children. They tend to provide the court with subjective opinions that fail to include important research like ACE (adverse childhood experiences) and Saunders.

ACE is peer-reviewed medical research from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. It found that children exposed to DV, child abuse and other trauma will live shorter lives and face a lifetime of health and social problems. Most of the harm from DV and child abuse is not caused by any immediate physical injuries, but from the fear and stress abusers cause. Saunders found that most court professionals do not know how to screen for DV and so make recommendations that harm children. This research goes to the essence of the best interests of children. This is why the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges seeks to train other judges about ACE and Saunders. It is really malpractice to try to respond to DV custody cases without ACE and Saunders.

Many standard beliefs and practices used in custody courts and encouraged by mental health professionals are proven wrong by ACE and Saunders. This includes failing to understand an abuser’s good public behavior is not probative of his private behavior, high conflict approaches, focusing only on physical abuse, asking children to just get over it, assuming older abuse doesn’t matter, the myth mothers frequently make false reports, the assumption children need both parents equally, the failure to focus on reducing the fear and stress abusers cause, and reliance on biased and unscientific alienation theories.

The mistakes that are routinely made because of the failure to integrate ACE and Saunders are not neutral in the sense they apply to both parents. All of the mistakes help abusers and place children at risk. They are exacerbated by the fact DV is about control, including financial control. This means in most cases, the abuser controls most of the family’s financial resources. As a result, courts have heard much more from the abuser’s side and this misinformation is used by judges and lawyers in other cases. Courts rarely use their authority to level the playing field or require abusers to pay costs, including legal fees made necessary by their abuse. It is a standard abuser legal tactic to use economic and litigation tactics to bankrupt their victim, but courts rarely recognize or counter these tactics. The problem is further exacerbated because attorneys for abusers are comfortable with aggressive tactics despite their harm to children but many attorneys for victims are afraid to present evidence of abuse. All of these factors prevent courts from receiving the evidence they need to make safe and healthy decisions.

Mental health professionals have the advantage of having worked with the present practices for years and are comfortable adhering to these practices. The negative is that courts have no effective way to integrate new practices and knowledge. Courts tend to use the same small group of evaluators and other professionals, and this encourages an insular atmosphere. If courts regularly relied on expert witnesses from a nearby college or university, they might hear more of the latest research and improved practices that are available. The first ACE Study was published in 1998 and Saunders was published in 2012. There is something wrong when an unscientific alienation theory, twice rejected by the American Psychiatric Association has more influence over the courts than peer-reviewed scientific research from the most credible sources like ACE and Saunders. ACE is used by medical doctors to diagnose and treat patients, it is used by therapists to treat patients, public health officials use ACE for a variety of public policy issues and schools use ACE to help traumatized students. The only purpose for alienation theories is to help abusers take custody from good mothers.

We often see confirmation bias in evaluations because evaluators are used to outdated practices and have expected findings that either promote shared parenting or punish mothers seeking to protect their children. There have been numerous court-sponsored studies that have found widespread gender bias against mothers. Gender bias is often found in evaluations and court decisions because it is so hard to have an open discussion about this critical issue without defensiveness or retaliation. The recent Meier Study confirmed courts have made little progress on this issue.

Domestic Violence Experts Benefits and Risks in DV Custody Cases

The Saunders Study found that DV advocates have more of the specific knowledge courts need than judges, lawyers, or evaluators. This is especially important because this knowledge is needed for courts to recognize true reports of abuse and the Meier Study confirmed that custody courts disbelieve reports of domestic violence and child abuse far more often than the reports are untrue. Courts cannot protect precious children if they cannot recognize reported abuse.

DV experts know how to avoid discrediting true reports based on common situations that are not probative. We know to consider the alleged abuser’s motives, the pattern of abuse, and which parent is afraid of the other. I have read more than one thousand evaluations and have never seen an evaluator discuss the significance of abusive tactics that are associated with higher risk of lethality. How can we protect children without providing a risk assessment? Most DV experts are trauma informed and familiar with ACE and Saunders. It should be viewed as malpractice for courts to try to adjudicate DV custody cases without this vital information.

Fundamentally, without ACE, professionals inevitably minimize the harm from abuse and, without Saunders, they frequently disbelieve true reports of abuse. Most DV advocates can calculate the children’s ACE score. This tells the court the risk to the children if they are not protected. Abusers tend to be very manipulative and have great success fooling court professionals. A very common example is taking the abuser’s good public behavior and success in other parts of his life as if it were probative about abuse reports. DV experts are also aware that only accountability and monitoring have been shown to change abusers’ behavior. We often see mental health professionals recommend therapy or anger management that have no impact on DV in an attempt to respond to DV. This creates the illusion of responding without doing anything useful.

Mental health professionals often focus on an alleged abuser’s mental health and ability to control his behavior as if this were probative. DV experts understand DV is a gendered crime (even though there are rare cases where the woman assaults or mistreats the man). Evidence of the alleged abuser’s sense of entitlement, male privilege, and expectation to control women is important to understanding DV, but routinely missed by other professionals. Research about batterer narratives reveal that the use of offensive, sexist language gives abusers permission to hurt women. Non-abusers may have an interest in pornography, but it makes it more likely the man is an abuser.

Alleged victims often minimize the harm from their partner’s abuse and take some of the responsibility they don’t deserve. Many victims do not even realize that the father’s behavior constitutes abuse. DV experts understand the fear victims have is important to understanding the case. Victims are more likely to share information with DV experts who would be more likely to understand. This helps courts make more informed decisions because more information would be available.

Just as mental health professionals provide courts with valuable information they cannot receive elsewhere, but usually fail to provide needed DV information, DV experts also provide courts valuable information they are otherwise not receiving, but cannot provide information about psychology, mental illness, or from speaking to all the parties and collaterals. PTSD is a common mental health problem for victims of DV and child abuse. DV experts can recognize possible symptoms but cannot diagnose PTSD. DV experts can share the research about PTSD. Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder can only be caused by the most severe and horrific incident or a series of traumatic events such as occurs with DV or child abuse. If an alleged abuser caused PTSD, the court knows his denials and minimizations are false. A man whose abuse was so severe as to cause PTSD is an unfit parent. I have actually seen some evaluators fail to provide this information to the court or even claim the factor favors the abuser. This provides another example for the importance of a multi-disciplinary approach.

DV experts do not have the ability to require alleged abusers to speak with them. Attorneys for alleged abusers often try to use this to prevent courts from hearing the information DV experts can supply, and on rare occasions courts allow themselves to be manipulated by the attorneys. This is probably because courts are used to evaluators that claim to provide the full story. There are now three government-sponsored studies that have found serious problems with evaluations in DV custody cases because few evaluators have the necessary DV expertise.

Without speaking with the alleged abuser, DV advocates make judgments about whether someone is a victim of DV for purposes of providing shelter, advocates and law enforcement create a risk assessment, and advocates and medical professionals determine the ACE score for children. These findings tend to be far more accurate than court findings because they are performed by professionals with the needed DV expertise. A good argument could be made that avoiding the manipulation of abusers improves the accuracy of the findings. Fundamental fairness requires courts to hear the alleged abuser’s side of the case, and this is already done. Abusers usually have far more resources and more freedom to aggressively press their case than their victims do. Barring DV experts who could not speak with the alleged abuser does not provide a fairer balance for the court but rather prevents the court from hearing vital information and research the court will otherwise be missing.

Conclusion

In the last 15 years, more than 950 children involved in contested custody cases have been murdered. In many of the cases, the court failed to recognize true reports of abuse and gave the killer the access he needed to murder the child. The Bartlow Study asked judges and court administrators in the communities where the murder occurred what reforms they created in response to the murder to make children safer. The shocking response was nothing because they all assumed the local tragedy was an exception.

The immediate murders are just a small part of the harm caused when courts minimize or deny true reports of abuse. Just yesterday, I learned about a boy a court failed to protect from an abusive father. He died at 25 of a drug overdose. His mother is a dear friend who has helped so many protective mothers but could not save her own son in a system that refuses to use available DV expertise. Another good mother with terminal cancer gave up and turned to assisted suicide because a court helped the abusive father punish her by denying contact with her daughters. In other cases, children the courts failed to protect committed suicide in their teens and twenties. ACE tells us that many other children will die early from cancer, heart attacks and other diseases caused or exacerbated by the fear and stress custody courts rarely consider. This is not a time to get defensive about practices that are harming so many children.

The original mistake was to turn to mental health professionals as if they were also experts in domestic violence. The mistake was understandable because no research was available. Now we have ACE and Saunders and the ability to safeguard precious children. Saunders recommends courts should use a multi-disciplinary approach that includes DV experts. Courts need to be open to better practices supported by scientific research that can help courts recognize and respond to abuse issues. “This is not the way we always responded” is not a proper justification for courts to deny themselves the needed expertise.

The rules to qualify as an expert witness set the bar very low. Typically, an expert witness by education, training or experience must have expertise in a relevant subject far superior to a layperson. Mechanics without a high school diploma would routinely qualify to testify about automotive issues. A therapist for one party would qualify even though she never met the other party or the children. Most witnesses provide the court with only part of the story, but that doesn’t prevent them from testifying.

Children are dying and court decisions are ruining other children’s lives. Mental health professionals have useful information that helps courts, but they usually do not have expertise in abuse issues or the knowledge of critical research like ACE and Saunders. This is the critical information courts need to protect children. No judge wants to hurt children but when courts find excuses to avoid the knowledge they need, innocent children inevitably pay the price.

Barry Goldstein is a domestic violence author, speaker, advocate and expert witness. He is the author of six books concerning domestic violence and child custody. Barry is the author of the Safe Child Act which is a comprehensive plan based on current scientific research that can fix the broken court system and make family courts safe for children.

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Judges are Not Above and Beyond the Law, Not Even New Jersey Family Court Judge Jane Gallina-Mecca

By Guest Co-Contributors (experts on dangerous personality disorders) Despotic personalities are alike in many ways.  Think of Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin, “Papa Doc” Duvalier, and Marshall Applewhite.  An irrational hatred was the substrate of feeling that drove their dangerousness. Not only were they corrupt, but they were insane.  Which came first?  We do not know, […]

The post Judges are Not Above and Beyond the Law, Not Even New Jersey Family Court Judge Jane Gallina-Mecca first appeared on Foundation for Child Victims of the Family Courts.

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Murder For Hire – Contract Killing Via Removal Of Custody Orders In Place Against Established Violent Abusers

Judges in Connecticut, such as Jane Kupferman Grossman and  Judge Mark T. Gould have  provided preferential treatment to wealthy aggressors who range from the diagnosably insane, babbling-on-the-stand schizophrenics to so-called moneyed professionals such as lawyers and dentists. Apart from the restricted licenses related to drug abuse and shady reputations for fraud, plagiarism and a variety […]

The post Murder For Hire – Contract Killing Via Removal Of Custody Orders In Place Against Established Violent Abusers first appeared on Foundation for Child Victims of the Family Courts.

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The Cannibal Courts – Devouring Our Young! Judges Removing Protective Orders – Protective Parents  Murdered

Judge Jane Gallina Mecca is known to have directly facilitated the death of several Protective Parents by having removed long- standing Protective Orders that were in place in states other than New Jersey. Among the well publicized cases was that of Karen Anone (link to article and picture of Karen Anone). Judge Gallina – Mecca […]

The post The Cannibal Courts – Devouring Our Young! Judges Removing Protective Orders – Protective Parents  Murdered first appeared on Foundation for Child Victims of the Family Courts.

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Family Injustice: Judging A Judge



One of our missions here at Dolcefino Consulting is to warn our viewers about judges who’ve made it pretty clear to us they …

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The Mecca Murders

Judge Jane Gallina Mecca is one of the judges written about as a family annihilator. Family court judges across the country are removing critical protective orders filed on behalf of women who were threatened with mortal physical abuse by their tormentors. Those accused tormentors then found a path to alternate family court judges in their […]

The post The Mecca Murders first appeared on Foundation for Child Victims of the Family Courts.

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