What goes into an award of spousal support here in Texas?

Have you given notice of your summer custody plans?

Originally published by On behalf of Laura Dale.

It’s not too early to be thinking about summer and your plans with the children. You may have a trip in mind, visits to distant relatives or other arrangements to make. Don’t be too quick to make reservations and travel plans if you share custody of the children with their other parent. There are certain steps you must take before changing your possession order.

Creating a workable plan for possession of and access to children is often one of the most difficult parts of a marital breakup. Unfortunately, life is not predictable, and it is sometimes necessary to adjust the schedule. Your summer plans may present unusual circumstances that interfere with your co-parent’s scheduled time with the kids. April is the ideal time to make important decisions about those temporary summer changes in your parenting plan.

What do summer possession plans look like?

You may be among the fortunate parents who worked together to create a unique plan to accommodate the special circumstances in your family. On the other hand, if you and your former partner were unable to reach an agreement, the court probably stepped in an issued a standard possession order. Typically, this alternates special holidays on even and odd years and allows the non-custodial parent to have possession of the children during the month of July.

However, what if your plans for summer fall outside of the weeks between July 1 and July 31? If you want the children at some other time over the summer, you must notify your parenting partner as early as possible in April. The other parent also has the right to be with the children for one weekend during your extended possession. Scheduling your summer plans right now makes it easier for both you and the other parent to arrange dates that will suit everyone.

Fighting for your rights this summer

Departing from your possession order is not always easy, especially if your parenting partner is not willing to cooperate. However, you have rights as a parent, and in most cases, Texas family courts support your right to access to your child.

If you are fighting to extend your standard possession of the children over the summer, you may find the effort frustrating. You may benefit from learning more about your rights and obtaining the strong and compassionate advocacy of a Texas attorney who will assist you in reaching your goals.

Curated by Texas Bar Today. Follow us on Twitter @texasbartoday.



Read More –>

happy mom

If You Can be any Kind of Mom…Be a Happy One

happy mom

 

We feel so much pressure in society today to be the very best moms.  We must be at the top of our game in every area of our lives. That can be so difficult when you are a single parent.  Life is hard enough when there are two parents in the picture. It becomes even more stressful when you are the sole parent responsible for your child’s well-being.

If You Can be any Kind of Mom…Be a Happy One

I totally understand because I, too, have endured the hardship of single motherhood. The one lesson that I have learned is that your happiness and emotional balance is key.  Kids don’t care how much money you have or what kind of car you drive.  What kids care about is the quality time that you spend with them.  The happier you are, the better that quality time will be.

Single mom life started for me about 17 years ago. I got divorced when my children were only a year old.  My first marriage ended because it was extremely toxic, and my ex was emotionally abusive.  I knew that I couldn’t stay in that relationship and be happy, so I took my one-year-old twins and left.  I ended up going back to school and getting my teaching degree.  I was working full time and going to school part-time.

I know what it’s like to struggle.

For most of my life, I have had to struggle with the whole concept of single motherhood. What I have learned throughout my journey is that the one thing your kids want from you is your own happiness.  We are modeling love for our kids, and that includes the love of self.  When you make self-care a priority in your life, you are showing your kids that it is important to be good to yourself.

You can’t enjoy the time spent with your kids if you are constantly stressed out. Your children need you to be happy and that means you need to practice self-care.  Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s the most essential thing you can do to stay healthy and to be the best mom for your kids. I missed out on a lot of happy moments with my kids because I worried about things that didn’t really matter in the long run.  That’s why I wrote my book, “Beautifully Broken.” I wanted to help women avoid the mistakes I made. I also wanted to show women that there is hope after a divorce.

In fact, what if I told you that you can survive divorce and be even better than you were before. In my book, I give practical parenting advice on how to keep your sanity during those tough days. Whether it’s creating rules, dating again, or maintaining balance in your life, I share my story of how I made it through.

I also give you useful tools to help you heal from the pain of divorce. With sage advice, tools, tips, and prayers, I pave the way for women to step into their power. To see that though they may feel broken, they are not. With laughter and love, I show you that our scars do not define us. We do.

You deserve to be a happy mom.

When you start taking care of yourself, you are better equipped to handle parenting, in fact, you will handle it like the boss that I know you are.  Don’t sweat the small stuff. Life usually has a way of working those things out. Focus on quality time with your kids and learn to enjoy those moments.  They go by so fast. Keep the faith. I know you will be great!

The post If You Can be any Kind of Mom…Be a Happy One appeared first on Divorced Moms.

Read More –>

3 Ways To Make Family Court More Aware Of Narcissism

3 Ways To Make Family Court More Aware Of Narcissism

Family Court is set up to be adversarial. It pits one parent against another.  This unfortunately feeds into the narcissist’s ego defence which is to win at all costs.  They do this by masterfully playing the role of either hero or victim (often both at the same time).  They will claim you are alienating them or abusing them. They will even manipulate the children to confirm their story thus proving their prowess.

I have worked with hundreds of parents who have sought support and protection for them and their children from Family Court only to be disappointed and disillusioned to see that the court is easily duped by the narcissist and given more time with the children. In many cases the narcissist manages to use Family Court to cut the other parent completely out of the child’s life.

How can this happen?

The Problem

One would think that those highly experienced in law (solicitors and judges) would have what it takes to easily recognise deception, or at least know how to ensure that a person is examined thoroughly enough to make reasonably sure that they are telling the truth. But those in law are just as vulnerable to the highly skilled narcissist as the average person is. 

Narcissists love the court arena because they get to take centre stage and express their grandiosity.  It feeds their ego and they seek to control the process. Some will do this by not turning up, issuing last minute changes to mean you have little or no time to prepare.  Others will keep breaching the order so you have to take them back to court. They will all threaten court repeatedly as a way to control you and get their own way – “if that’s what you want, then we had best go back to court”.  The fact they get to financially ruin in the process is the cherry on the cake for them.

Because narcissist’s are naturally talented imposters, charmers, and deceivers, many judges get duped on a routine basis by narcissistic parents, who are simply using the court and the judge to continue to humiliate, exert control, and abuse their ex, and force their ex to react to them in some way. Narcissists live to manipulate and control others emotions, self-esteem, and behaviours. Many will describe the ‘high’ they get from manipulating others successfully, and if they get the judge to believe them, they will begin to brag that the judge is their ‘ personal friend’.

chess

How Can They Get Away With It

Narcissist’s get away with what they get away with because they are so very talented at presenting themselves as innocent victims of their ex, their boss, their parents, etc. etc. They have an uncanny talent to manipulate situations and people and to twist the obvious facts to fit their lies. You know in your own relationship how they managed to convince you that they were worth falling in love with.  This is their own personal superpower – manipulating others.

Part of the problem is that in the context of family court, no one really believes that a parent (especially ones who presents so well) can be so cold, calculating and abusive to use their own children to hurt their ex in such extreme ways.  Nor do they believe that children would lie about such matters as being abused. I always found this very strange because, having worked in child protection, we know that child abusers ARE highly manipulative and deceptive AND that children will lie to protect the abuser. 

face with mask

Narcissists have survived by understanding people and how they tick.  They know exactly how to get others to do their bidding and convince them it is all of their own doing.  Charles Manson is a prime example of how charming and manipulative a narcissist can be at getting people to do the unthinkable.  The problem in Family Court is that no judge (or professional) will ever want to admit they have been manipulated like that. It hurts their ego as well and so very often, they will continue on the path the narcissist has led them down to save their own ego.  People are inherently selfish and so even those charged with protecting children rarely act from a completely unbiased and empathic place. It’s human nature. We all want to be seen to do the right thing and not be criticised. Narcissists use this to control others.  

 

How can court recognise a narcissist

Firstly I would always advise against labelling your ex as a narcissist (unless they have an official clinical diagnosis).  You are not a psychologist or psychiatrist and so you cannot diagnose them. To do so undermines you. There are ways however that you can alert the court and professionals to the behaviours which are problematic:

  • Narcissists will continuously be going back and forth to court sometimes with issues which barely make sense or are fully nonsense or are taken back to court for repeatedly breaching the order
  • They will be constantly changing legal representation
  • They may attempt to act as an equal or friend to professionals
  • They can be very demanding about the treatment they receive when attending court
  • They present as being very agreeable but breach the order within days (sometimes hours) of leaving court
  • They will refuse to take any responsibility for anything
  • There will be multiple, unsubstantiated claims of abuse/harassment against the ex 
  • There may be a pattern of behaviours in past relationships
  • There is inconsistency in what they say and how they behave
  • There may be multiple allegations of abuse against the ex but with NFA’s from the police
  • The children display very black and white thinking against the other parent (one is all good, the other all bad)
  • The narcissist has cut contact with everyone involved with the ex including all the children’s aunts and uncles 

How to make judges take notice

The reality is that within the court arena it is very hard for judges to decipher everything.  They are reliant upon other professionals, usually social workers, to provide them with reports and recommendations.  It is therefore important that, as a parent going through this process, you remain child focused and allow the narcissist’s behaviour to reveal itself. 

  1. The court can order both parents into counselling towards the goal of effective co-parenting. Once a custody order is made, the court can monitor the compliance of both parents. This is often when the narcissist begins to show their true colours. They just cannot comply with any authority other than their own self-inflated opinions and will.  In most cases, if they comply at all with the counselling (many do not even make it to one session), it only takes a short time before they will discredit the counsellor, petition the court for some other counsellor, and just stop showing up. What they really want is a counsellor that cannot ‘see through them’ and find one that they can manipulate for their own purposes, meaning supporting their position that their ex is persecuting them.
  2. Another option is for the family to undergo a psychological evaluation.  Usually this will entail the psychologist spending time with each parent individually, the children separately if possible and the children with each parent.  They will then evaluate the dynamics and make recommendations to the court about next steps. It really helps if the psychologist can include a thorough description of the IMPACT and capacity for change of the parents within these situations.  Unfortunately I have seen time and time again where psychological evaluations identify the issues but fail to inform the court what this means. Again, judges are not mental health or child development professionals. They need guidance on what this means for the children moving forward and the impact of any action taken.
  3. As the other parent, you can contribute to this process by not biting when the narcissist tries to bait you.  They will deliberately push your buttons in public to get a reaction out of you which they will then use as “evidence” of all the allegations they are making about you.  It is therefore important that you prepare fully for court both in terms of how you feel on the day but also dealing with your own trauma from the relationship. We have specifically designed our Get Court Ready programme to help you with this. It provides you with tools, insights and activities to rewrite the narcissists narrative, manage your own emotions and protect the children.  Find out more at the Get Court Ready page on our website.

Finally, it would greatly benefit all professionals involved in child protection (solicitors, judges, social workers, court workers) to undergo basic training on personality disorders, domestic abuse and parental alienation.  This will at least provide them with an additional theory to examine the evidence against. I personally have developed numerous courses on these areas which are CPD accredited and available online. Head to my other website, Child Protection Centre, for more details.

 

What are your experiences of Family Court?  What more do you think can be done?

The post 3 Ways To Make Family Court More Aware Of Narcissism appeared first on The Nurturing Coach.

Read More –>

Narcissists Make You Physically Sick – 5 Ways To Restore Your Health

 

Narcissists make you sick. Very sick. The reason is because you are being attacked emotionally within the very essence of your Being.

As a result of your traumatised emotions, and the biochemical processes that get set off within you, other aspects of your life will start to break down considerably – including your health.

Sadly, when people get very sick as a result of narcissistic abuse, they don’t know what to do to get well.

In today’s Thriving TV episode, I want to take you through the five ways to restore your health by TRULY healing what is going on within you.

 

 

Video Transcript

People ask all the time, “Is it possible for somebody to make me get this sick?”

Can their behaviour bring on such things as fibromyalgia, adrenal fatigue and PTSD and even more serious illnesses?

The answer is yes. If you hang out with people who are sick, which narcissists are, you get sick.

Narcissism is like a gaping black hole that gobbles up energy, health and resources from people. It literally sucks the Life Force out of your soul, which means that initially emotionally you become significantly affected and traumatised, and then all aspects of your life, including your health, start to break down substantially.

Today, in this episode, I want to share with you the five powerful ways that you can reverse what has been happening to you and restore your health.

But before we get started, I’d like to thank each and every one of you for subscribing to the Thriver Mission and supporting the fact that we can now heal for real from abuse.

And please, if you like this video, give it a thumbs up and share it with people who it can help.

Okay so let’s get started on today’s very important episode regarding how to restore your health. In Steps 1 to 4, we are going to set up the platform for you to have emotional well-being. Because this is essential if you are going to get well.

And then in Step 5, we’ll look at the additions, that even though they are not a healing solution in and of themselves, will supplement your emotional healing powerfully.

 

Step Number 1: Detach

It is impossible to get well when you are still ingesting the poison that is making you sick.

The more that you try to get a crazy person to act sanely, the more ridiculous and abusive things get. You can’t create safety and health with a disordered person.

The first essential step is to stop trying to get decency, clemency or compassion. Those commodities are not going to come from a narcissist. The only hope that you have of restoring your health is to pull away and stay away.

For No Contact (or Modified Contact such as in the case of co-parenting) to be effective, you really need to understand what it means.

No Contact, physically, is not enough.

Narcissistic abuse is a psychic phenomenon. Even if you are implementing No Contact with a narcissist, the abuse lives on inside you like a terrible virus. In fact, after leaving, you will go through what is known as “after-shock”. This is when all of the abuse from the past has a chance to catch up and hit you like a freight train.

Also, you will be feeling the incredibly addictive and withdrawal pulls of the peptide addiction that your body has been receiving regular doses of.

Many people, and I went through this as well, report that after leaving the narcissist the terror and the pain is worse than ever. This is all of the trauma that has been impregnated into your Inner Being rising up to the surface. Until this is addressed you may literally feel like you are losing your mind.

But I promise you that it doesn’t need to be this way!

This is why Step Number 1, pulling away and creating No Contact, is only the beginning of what you really need to do to get well.

 

Step Number 2: Take Your Focus Off the Narcissist and Onto Yourself

This is a counterintuitive step, yet vital in the recovery of your health.

Narcissists are a law unto themselves and energetically feed off our fear and pain. The more terrified you are, and in deep pain and disbelief about what he or she has done or can do, the more you feed the problem, rather than become the solution.

An important shift is needed here, rather than keeping your focus on, “What has happened to me or what could happen to me via this person in the future”, you need to focus on, “What parts of myself can I turn inwards to with love, and heal, to bring me back to wholeness?”

And … “What parts of myself were assigning and hanging on to this person as my source of love, approval, security and survival, instead of being healed and solid and powerful as these commodities to myself?”

And, “What parts of myself were handing my power away, instead of living aligned to my values, rights and truth?”

This second step is so vital. It is all about a powerful evolutionary shift from staying and remaining a victim powerless to change other people in order to change your own life, into becoming an evolving Master of your life by deeply doing the inner healing work.

I promise you it took me so long to accept this! And I would not be alive and Thriving if I hadn’t made this powerful switch. (This is why I am so passionate about inspiring you to do this as well.)

Immediately, as a result of courageously letting go of trying to monitor, predict, prescribed to, control, fix or change people who we have absolutely no ability to work with, and turning inwards to rescue and release ourselves from internal trauma, there is often a somatically felt immediate relief.

It’s our Inner Being telling us, “Thank goodness you have showed up for me … finally. You are the Being I have been waiting for all along! Those False Sources that you tried to get to substitute in your relationship with me, were never going to work!”

The relief is often felt even just with the intention that you’re going let go of the obsessional thoughts about the narcissist and turn inside to heal yourself. Even before you start doing the inner work!

This is because you are already on the path to wellness.

 

Step Number 3: Doing the Necessary Inner Work

There is only one way to change your life, and that is to change yourself.

You can’t change other people in order to feel better, do better and live better. The only entity that you can change is yourself. And it’s crazy that we were really never taught this! Our only power is within, and when you do the inner work you will discover that you emerge with a different Inner Love Code.

Which means that you will no longer be attractive to and attracted to people who hurt you.

Then, the glorious thing is, you will be able to be in life as yourself, safe and powerful and authentic and able to say ‘No”, whilst remaining whole when people are not healthy for you. You will be able to move on.

And as a result of your hard-earned inner work your relationships and entire life will change beyond description.

The only way that we ever learn how to do better is to get better, that’s the truth.

At the beginning, we may think that “doing better” simply means ignoring the narcissist and no longer reacting and just trying to get on with our lives.

After substantial abuse, even if you are capable of doing “grey rock”, and not getting hooked in anymore, it is still likely that you will still be suffering abuse symptoms such as PTSD, anxiety and depression and the obsessional thoughts that make it very difficult to have the energy to be happy, free and create a new and great life.

It’s exhausting trying to get healthy, whilst battling the inner trauma that is generating your emotions, thoughts and biological processes.

A much better way is to turn inwards and start doing the releasing work of all of these toxic traumas out from you. That frees up space. It makes way for your health to organically arise from within you. Your natural state is “health” without your internal trauma.

My Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) is a highly successful step-by-step system to get your inner work done. As a Gold member, it also comes supported with your NARP 24/7 community forum access, where you get incredible tips, suggestions and so much help.

You don’t have to do your inner work alone!

 

Step Number 4: Become Anti-Fear

It is usual after detaching and starting to detox yourself from narcissistic abuse, for the narcissist to try to keep hooking you back in for narcissistic supply.

Also, if you have been connected through marriage, property and children, the narcissist often lashes out, trying to affect you by taking what and who is near and dear to you.

You may be tested with the most horrifying and terrifying triggers that you could imagine.

This I want you to know with all my heart, that the most powerful and fastest way that you can get well and healthy, and escape their assaults, is to become anti-fear.

By doing so, energetically and psychically the narcissist loses their energy feed.

Until you live this phenomenon you cannot possibly know just how powerful this switch is.

Without fear and pain, as a result of you turning inwards and deeply committing to the inner work to purge this person and all of the trauma, as well as any of your limiting and painful and powerless beliefs, this person loses all power over you.

The narcissist will be thwarted. His or her attempts will fall flat. You start connecting up to the resources, people and situations that will fully support you.

The reason being is because you are activating the power of all of this by turning inwards and FULLY supporting yourself.

That’s what the effective and correct inner work is!

That is how you get free from a narcissist.

By continually doing the inner work on all of your fearful triggers that arise, you WILL gain confidence and power in yourself, as well as start to dissolve all of the narcissistic abuse symptoms from within your energy field, because you know that you are safe in your body and safe in life.

And I promise you that you will become more well than you’ve ever been in your entire life.

Just wait and see how life unfolds in all areas, in your favour. The outer follows the inner always!

 

Step Number 5: Healthy Supplements

On your resurrection path, health and well-being becomes a focus of nourishing yourself and your life.

When we get better, we do better, and we choose better.

These include things such as eating whole foods and drinking filtered water. Letting go of the addictions and self-medications that we used to turn to so as to avoid our trauma, but yet were hurting us even more.

Hanging out with more positive and much less toxic people.

Engaging in regular healing, healthy time out and moving your body in ways that generate well-being and confidence.

Staying away from victimised forums and communities where the focus is all about bashing the narcissist, and there is nothing about healing yourself.

Laying boundaries and saying “no” to people and situations that are no longer healthy for you, and being prepared to honour yourself and your values and rights, regardless of what other people are doing.

All of these things, in combination with your continual deep inner work to release yourself from trauma and reprogram yourself from the inside out, create a formidable plan to getting well and recovering from narcissistic abuse.

In record time and in the most powerful of ways.

So, I hope that this episode has helped give you a clear roadmap of the five ways to improve your health after narcissistic abuse.

If you know it’s your time to start moving into these processes, then come with me by clicking this link. 

And as always, I look forward to answering your comments and your questions below.

 

Read More –>

When The Narcissist Turns Everything Against You – How To Make Them See The Light

 

Narcissists like to turn everything against you, such as people, situations, resources, property and even your children.  By why do they do this and why do you end up feeling powerless when this happens?

I know you want them to see the light and understand why their actions, words and behaviour is hurting you and you want them to ‘get it’.

How can you get a narcissist to see the light?

I am going to explain EXACTLY how you can in today’s Thriver TV episode!

 

 

Video Transcript

My heart goes out to you if you are experiencing a narcissist turning everything against you. I know it’s horrible, and I know that you can feel powerless when this happens.

I also know that you want the narcissist to get it, that their behaviour is atrocious, that what they are doing to you is not okay.

It is usual to want to make a narcissist see the light!

That’s exactly what we are going to talk about today, how you can make a narcissist see the light.

The light that is going to make your life awesome, free from the pain and able to generate what you want – true love, safety and honesty.

Before we get started, thank you for supporting the Thriver Mission and helping spread the word that there is a way to heal for real from narcissistic abuse, by subscribing to my channel. If you haven’t yet subscribed, I’d love to remind you to please do so.

Okay, so let’s get started on today’s important episode.

 

Our Normal Tendency When Being Set Upon

When somebody is treating us with such cruelty and the projections of making everything out to be our fault, we get angry. We try to get them to treat us decently.

But, with narcissistic people, this 100% does not work.

If anything, it grants the narcissist more bullets to shoot us with. He or she will use our traumatised feelings against us and shift the blame even more heavily.

It feels devastating.

When we are traumatised, we just can’t seem to stop ourselves from trying to go in harder to get this person to “see the light” and stop doing what they’re doing. Despite it making matters even worse.

Why doesn’t it give us the results we want?

The real reason why it doesn’t work is because we are not using “our light” at this time.

We are being triggered heavily into our wounds. Wounds from our life preceding this current experience. The wounds of not feeling lovable, heard, respected and treated with care.

To a narcissist, this is A-grade narcissistic supply. Our intense emotional attention towards them makes him or her feel so significant. It additionally allows the narcissist to shift the blame and accuse us of being all sorts of things – such as unloving, untrustworthy, selfish and nasty.

Then we go all-in even harder, trying to justify how good a person we are. Often, we then hand over even more of our resources, good nature and energy trying to prove to the narcissist that we are a decent and trustworthy individual.

This empties us out even more.

I promise you this, as hard as it is to accept, the following understanding will change everything for you and start to liberate you …

It is not possible to take back your power, when you are triggered and stuck and traumatised in your wounds.

Let’s talk about the way to rise up and out of this.

 

Detachment in Order to Heal

A huge shift is necessary to get out of this terrible and traumatising pattern, of hooking into the narcissist trying to force him or her to see the light and only getting pulverised and ripped apart even more every time you try to do it.

There is only one way to get onto the path of feeling safe and whole again, and that is to stop touching the stove that is burning you.

Stop taking the poison that is making you so sick.

This requires letting go, detaching and pulling away regardless of what this person threatens, or does. Then you can turn inwards to self-partner and heal the parts of you that are being significantly targeted and triggered by the narcissist.

At first, of course, this is the last thing that we want to do.

We are addicted to trying to go back in harder, trying to force this person to stop doing what they’re doing. But this is a Wrong Town focus that just leads to more compounding traumatisation.

You have to let go and pull away. There is no other way.

 

The True Lesson in This

I really want you to understand that someone who has the capacity to treat you so cruelly is not someone who you can ever change to have a healthy relationship with. They simply do not have the capacity.

This person was never in your life to have a healthy relationship with. Rather, they ignited enough pain within so that you would pull away, detach and heal yourself up to your inner wholeness to never accept a lesser relationship than the love and wholeness that you have achieved within yourself.

After healing yourself back to wholeness, I promise you that you will have no feelings of loss, wanting to reconnect, needing closure from, or even wanting the narcissist to change and see the light.

Rather, you will have become the light to yourself that your Inner Being always wanted you to be.

There is so much for you to look forward to, I promise.

And I know you need to hear that, to give you the hope of being able to move out of the pain that you are feeling right now.

 

What Happens When the Narcissist Sees Your Light

People often say that narcissists will never stop harassing and abusing them.

I used to believe this myself and thought that he would never let up until I was completely destroyed.

Now I know how this is not true.

So many of us are now living completely narcissistic free lives, even those who are parallel parenting with narcissists.

What is the defining difference? How do you get not only free of the trauma symptoms of narcissistic abuse but completely free from the narcissist’s antics, punishments and malicious behaviour, regardless of what he or she has kept trying to do?

The answer is simple … I promise you.

The answer is to do the work on your Inner Being to detox yourself from every trauma, painful belief and previous experience that has to do with abuse.

When you achieve this, there is no more pain, blame, shame or regret or any negative feelings in regard to the narcissist at all. The obsessional thoughts completely stop and all the memories fade away as if it was somebody else this happened to.

That is what Thriving truly means!

When you become this light, the narcissist can no longer be in your experience, any more than an ice cube could be on a warm beach.

Remember the truth about the myth of vampires. They cannot bear the light. What this metaphor really means is, when they aren’t in the shadows working with people’s fear and pain, and are exposed under a big great spotlight of truth, they shriek and shrivel up.

I promise you that your greatest defence is always about healing yourself up to be who you really are. Without your internal trauma, you already are a whole individual who knows how to make your life work.

And this is exactly what you will start to experience.

I hope that this episode has really helped you realise the truth about how to make a narcissist see the light.

Your light.

The light of your True Self which means that you are no longer a target for a False Self ever again.

If you are starting to feel and understand this, I want you to repeat after me a statement that we say in every Quanta Freedom Healing Module in all of my healing programs … This …

“I am the light. The light I am. It just is.”

Now pause this video and let me know how this feels in your body, by writing your answer below.

I am very excited about showing you how to make this happen for real in your life. You can come with me to learn how, by clicking this link. 

And if you enjoyed this video, please make sure that you subscribe so you will be kept up-to-date with each new release I do, I do two every week, and please share this video with others who need to know this truth.

And as always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

Read More –>

COVID-19 and family law: What every attorney needs to know

Originally published by Aimee Key and Lindsey Obenhaus.

The COVID-19 pandemic has upended nearly every facet of daily life in the U.S. When Gov. Greg Abbott declared a state of disaster in Texas due to COVID-19, he invoked emergency powers for his administration to control the spread of the virus. In a time of sudden school closures, social distancing, travel restrictions, working from home, and more, family law judges and practitioners have worked swiftly to respond to these changes affecting family law clients and their children.

At the time of this writing, the Texas Supreme Court has enacted seven unprecedented emergency orders affecting all courts in the state of Texas, effective March 13, 2020, and lasting through May 8, 2020, unless otherwise extended by the court. Pursuant to these orders, individual courts are given the authority to modify or suspend deadlines and procedures, allow remote appearances to proceedings (such as by video or phone), consider testimony/evidence offered electronically, conduct proceedings away from its usual location in the county, and take any other reasonable action to avoid exposure to COVID-19.
Additionally, the highest court ordered that courts must not conduct “non-essential” proceedings in person contrary to local, state, or national directive, whichever is most restrictive, regarding maximum group size (currently, the statewide restriction is 10 people). Jury trials are also suspended during this time. Specific to family law cases, the Texas Supreme Court ordered that for purposes of determining a person’s right to possession of and access to a child under a court-ordered schedule, the originally published school calendar shall control in all instances. Further, parties must continue to follow their court-ordered possession schedules (unless they agree otherwise) because the court has held that possession of and access to a child shall not be affected by any shelter-in-place order issued by any governmental entity.
Specific counties and judges have been proactive about creating a unified family law response to this crisis. To see how your county is affected, the State Bar of Texas is maintaining a database of all resources and updates on Texas court closures and orders relating to the COVID-19 pandemic.(1). Additionally, the Texas Children’s Commission has compiled a helpful database of all resources relating to child protective services cases on its website.(2). Most counties have issued orders limiting in-person courtroom settings to only “essential family court matters,” including protective orders, family violence, writs and habeas corpus, CPS matters, and other matters that may be designated by the court at its discretion. Some courts are allowing “non-essential” matters to be heard by submission or a virtual hearing (teleconference or videoconference). Individual judges, too, have gone above and beyond to accommodate the public health by allowing electronic “prove ups” of orders and even suspending business dress code (per the celebrated emergency standing order the 470th Judicial District in Collin County).
The innovative way that courts are handling hearings is ultimately an experiment of forcing courts and litigants to adapt to technology almost overnight. Many courts are turning to social media accounts to advertise new policies, thereby increasing transparency and communication with the bench. Practitioners are working together to help adapt to new electronic tools such as Zoom, Skype, and other virtual platforms. It will be interesting to see what changes stick, or not, after the dust has settled from the crisis. The Texas Judicial Branch has provided guidelines for setting up and managing court hearings via Zoom.(3).
Family law firms are also adapting to the changing landscape. First, for many counties, shelter-in-place orders have eliminated in-person meetings and physical office attendance. As such, lawyers have to communicate with clients remotely and disburse critical information and guidance through alternative mediums. Lawyers have also taken to social media to share court directives and advice helpful to cases. Further, with hearings being conducted remotely, many family lawyers are having to learn how to use Zoom, Skype, and YouTube, and instruct their clients on how to appear for a hearing separate and apart from their lawyer. Additionally, with courts being closed for an indefinite period of time and restrictions being in place for some counties for gatherings, attorneys are turning to electronic means to conduct mediations and arbitrations.
In addition to transforming the way matters are handled in court, the COVID-19 pandemic poses a number of new issues for family law clients and their children, which are considered here:

How is parenting affected by a “shelter-in-place” lockdown?
While there is no statewide “shelter in place” directive at this time, different counties are promulgating individual responses to this ongoing crisis. At the time of this writing, several large counties have issued “shelter in place” orders, including Harris, Dallas, Tarrant, Denton, Hunt, and Bexar counties. The Texas Supreme Court issued guidance on March 24, 2020, in the Seventh Emergency Order Regarding the COVID-19 State of Disaster, ordering that parents must follow their possession and access schedule and that possession of and access to a child is not affected by any shelter in place order. This applies to the entire state and clarifies that unless otherwise agreed, a parent must follow the court ordered possession schedule regardless of his or her individual county’s order.

How is co-parenting affected if a parent is potentially exposed to COVID-19?
This is an area where the Texas Supreme Court has not made any specific rulings or guidance for parents. However, individual counties have guidance and direction on exposure. In Dallas County, if a conservator has reason to believe that he or she has been exposed to COVID-19, that conservator shall notify the other conservator and they shall confer to discuss actions necessary to protect the child’s safety and well-being. In making a decision whether visitation between a parent and a child shall continue, it is best to first confer with the health care provider, if possible, regarding your child and his or her potential exposure to the virus. If you decide that there is reasonable concern for your child’s safety and welfare making visitation impossible, a parent should employ electronic communication and visitation and also resume visitation as soon as possible after self-isolation has ended. Additionally, parents should be prepared to offer and expect makeup time for any missed visitation.
Co-parenting is hard, even in the best of circumstances, and during this time, it is even harder. However, parents should try to be a team in this situation, even if it is difficult. This is not the time to keep a minute accounting of how many overnights the other parent has had or to argue that the current school closures should be treated like summer vacation. The most important priority today is to ensure the safety of your family and the public. Talk through concerns and be open to new arrangements. Attorneys should encourage parents to keep detailed records, including contact with the other parent in writing (by text or email), explaining what the concerns are about the current custody plan in light of exposure and proposing a reasonable solution. While family law is often contentious, a child should have as much consistency and stability with visitation as possible.

Are there long-term guidelines for making sure parents are up to date on remote learning activities for school?
Parents are suddenly having to take on teaching responsibilities in addition to working from home. For divorced parents, it is essential that parents communicate with one another about school activities and distance learning so that they are both ensuring that the child is completing his or her activities as well as possible. Schools and teachers are also adjusting to the shift to remote learning so it is possible that a teacher may only communicate information to one parent, and that parent needs to communicate and document shared information with the other parent. Additionally, as children thrive on routine, parents need to communicate and try to establish a consistent schedule with respect to schooling so that the child is impacted as little as possible going in between homes. While it is unlikely that a court will intervene if one parent is not doing his or her part to fully complete online learning, this is another issue that can later be considered when parents return to court.

Will summer possession still take place?
At this time, extended summer possession is not affected by the COVID-19 pandemic. The Texas Supreme Court guidance orders that possession shall continue pursuant to the court order. However, if travel is still affected by COVID-19 at the time of summer possession, or a stay at place order is in effect, the ability of a parent to travel or take a vacation will obviously be limited.

Does a parent have to pay child support if he or she becomes unemployed?
If a parent loses his or her job and is unable to pay child support, the child support obligation still continues until such time as that parent has filed a petition to modify child support and a judge has ruled on the issue. The filing of a modification is the date that a court may consider for modifying support, so it is imperative that a parent file as soon as possible after losing his or her job. However, even after the petition is filed, the obligation to pay continues until a court makes a ruling, which may be some time from the initial filing. During this in between period, a parent should continue to pay child support, or at the very least, as much as possible, to avoid an enforcement order after the courts reopen and address this issue.
It is stressful for everyone—parents and children alike—to navigate through this pandemic. Resources continue to evolve to help parents and attorneys alike manage this crisis. There are resources available to help parents talk to their children about COVID-19,(4) as well as tips for effective co-parenting. The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts in collaboration with the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers has provided seven tips for family law practitioners during this time.(5). Despite the uncertainties of this time, family law attorneys still have the necessary tools to help their clients through their crisis and can adapt and overcome to reach resolution.

AIMEE PINGENOT KEY
is a partner at Goranson Bain Ausley in Dallas, where she practices exclusively in family law. She is certified in family law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization and is a frequent author and speaker on family law issue across the nation.

LINDSEY OBENHAUS
is an associate attorney at Goranson Bain Ausley in Dallas. She is certified in family law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization.

1. Coronavirus Court Closure & Court Order Updates, State Bar of Texas Family Law Section, www.sbotfam.org/recent-news/court-closures-orders.
2. COVID-19 Resources Related to CPS Cases, Texas Children’s Commission, texaschildrenscommission.gov/reports-and-resources/covid-19-resources-related-to-cps-cases.
3. Electronic Hearings With Zoom, Texas Judicial Branch, www.txcourts.gov/programs-services/electronic-hearings-with-zoom.
4. Autumn Schoolman, Hey kids, coronavirus has changed everything. Here’s what you need to know., USA Today (Mar. 20, 2020, 9:34 AM), www.usatoday.com/in-depth/graphics/2020/03/20/coronavirus-kids-has-changed-everything/2864140001.

5. Kathleen McNamara & Lisa Hall, 7 Tips for Family Law Practitioners in the Midst of the COVID-19 Pandemic, 15 Ass’n of Family and Conciliation Courts eNews 3 (Mar. 2020), files.constantcontact.com/6beb60a3701/fb0d830f-d282-4e6c-8f3c-76654770c31d.pdf.

Curated by Texas Bar Today. Follow us on Twitter @texasbartoday.



Read More –>

Coronavirus divorce webinar

Cordell & Cordell Continuing Weekly COVID-19 And Divorce Webinar Series

Coronavirus divorce webinar

Cordell & Cordell is hosting a free webinar series, titled “Can the Coronavirus Affect Custodial Rights? How Divorces And Parenting Time May Be Impacted” for individuals dealing with unprecedented issues involving the Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic and their divorce or child custody situations.

The series will air at 1 p.m. CT, Thursdays and will feature Cordell & Cordell attorneys answering questions about how the Coronavirus is impacting family law issues. The firm’s first Coronavirus family law webinar aired Thursday, March 26 and is available here.

The first webinar covered a range of topics relevant to
divorced fathers, such as:

  • Practical tips to ensure the safety and
    well-being of your children.
  • Child custody issues such as how to arrange
    custody exchanges while quarantined.
  • The financial fallout of COVID-19 such as what
    to do if you can no longer afford alimony or child support.
  • How to proceed with your divorce if family
    courts are closed due to the virus

With the uncertainty caused by the Coronavirus pandemic, it is vital to stay informed and prepare as much as possible for what lies ahead. This weekly webinar series will ensure that you are educated and in position to make decisions to help protect yourself and your loved ones.

Fill out my Wufoo form!

The post Cordell & Cordell Continuing Weekly COVID-19 And Divorce Webinar Series appeared first on Dads Divorce.

Read More –>

co-parenting during coronavirus

Co-Parenting During The Coronavirus Crisis

co-parenting during coronavirus

 

During this unprecedented time of the Coronavirus and quarantines, many co-parents are finding themselves in un-charted territory with regards to their parenting plan and whether and how they should carry it out.

Here are some helpful hints for co-parenting during the coronavirus crisis:

Be open, communicative, creative and flexible!

This is a time like no other, so we need to be open, we need to be flexible, and we need to get creative and think outside the box.

If you have a parenting plan that is requiring something that can’t be done (or can’t be done safely at this time, like air travel), get creative. But first, communicate!

Reach out to the other parent and brainstorm. Can the visit be delayed, or time added onto the next visit? Can you do virtual visits with Zoom, Facetime or Skype where the kids can eat a meal, play a game or just chat with the other parent?

If you have a parenting plan that can be carried out, but you question the safety, communicate your fears. Research suggests that the Coronavirus is not generally dangerous for children, but reach out to your pediatrician if you are unsure or if your child has immune compromising factors and then discuss with your parenting partner.

Once again, communicate, be flexible and get creative!

If it is not advised to make frequent visits, perhaps the visit duration is lengthened, and the frequency is lessened. Or maybe you do a mix of virtual and in person visits, or meet in a safe outdoor space to go hiking, play soccer or be in nature together.

Do not operate out of fear

There is a huge amount of panic and fear surrounding this situation, which is bringing up deeply buried fear from past circumstances and triggering internal and external defense mechanisms of all kinds. Notice the space you are operating and making decisions from. If you are operating out of fear, take a break to process your feelings before you move forward with decision making or discussing with your co-parent.

Take several deep breaths and re-center, releasing all of the fear you may have taken on from the media or others around you. Breathe through any personal fears that you have. Notice what fear or feelings are coming up for you that may not be related to the current issue. Be with all of your feelings and allow them to move through your body. Once you are more centered, make decisions from a grounded, clear space.

What can we do to help our children cope with missed visits?

Be honest with them about what is happening. Let them know that Mom or Dad really wants to see them, but it isn’t safe right now, so you will do whatever you can to find ways for them to connect (see above with virtual visits, outdoor meetups, etc.) and then do it.

Find ways for your child to connect with them even if they can’t connect in real life. You can help them create a card, letter or other work of art to send in the mail, write a song or a poem, or teach them how to connect energetically.  This can be done through an imaginary hug, a special prayer, or a dream meet-up where as they fall asleep they think of a place they want to meet their Mom, Dad or other loved one in their dream, and what they want to do together. We often use the beach or Disneyland for our dream meet-ups! They can also have imaginary visits where you would ask what they would want to do and what they would want to say to their other parent if they were there.

Keeping communication open and finding ways to connect helps your kiddo feel like the other parent is being included and is top of mind even though they can’t be together and it will help them feel more secure.

What if we don’t agree?

If you and your co-parent cannot agree, or you do not have a co-parent who is willing to be flexible and creative with you, do what you can on your side. If you have a written parenting plan as part of a divorce or other legal agreement, you will need to make reasonable efforts to carry it out if they are demanding that you do so.

Try to engage help in the form of a family counselor, pastor, mediator or co-parenting coach if you need help trying to reach an amended agreement for the short term.

And remember, as Wayne Dyer said, “Conflict cannot survive without your participation.” Don’t engage in anything other than a peaceful, direct discussion and process through any emotions or triggers on your side that come up as a result of something your co-parent is saying or doing.

The only thing you can ever control is yourself and how you react to others. In this time of fear and frenzy, don’t make it worse by adding to it.

Please Note: This should not be considered legal or medical advice. Please contact your attorney for guidance on required visits and your doctor for any medical questions regarding the safety of visits.

The post Co-Parenting During The Coronavirus Crisis appeared first on Divorced Moms.

Read More –>

co-parenting during COVID-19

Coronavirus and child custody: Co-parenting during the pandemic

co-parenting during COVID-19

As a parent, you want to spend as much time with your children as humanly possible. You want to watch them learn and grow, as the years pass. Even after a divorce, you still are able to enjoy precious moments with them during your parenting time.

However, with the Coronavirus Disease (COVID-19) pandemic that has swept the country, your parenting time may become part of the uncertainty.

While you want to maintain the World Health Organization recommendations regarding social distancing, hygiene, and sanitation, you still should be able to observe regular parenting time during this difficult time. However, your co-parent may be making that more difficult.

From a safety standpoint, it is understandable that your
co-parent is concerned over the prospect that your shared children may catch
the virus, or that you may while they are in your care. Additionally, many
areas of the country have shelter-in-place orders that prevent unnecessary
travel.

However, that does not extend to child custody drop-offs or
pick-ups.

Issues with shelter-in-place
and custody travel

According to Cordell & Cordell family law attorney Charles Hatley, residents are required to stay indoors except to perform certain necessary activities. These activities include buying food, seeking medical treatment, banking, and laundromat services. This also includes any travel necessary to enforce a court order and for purposes of caring for a child or family member.

Therefore, the shelter-in-place orders, or stay-at-home
orders, do not impact your right to parenting time, whether there is actually a
custody and parenting time order. However, that does not mean the other parent
will not misconstrue or try to abuse these orders in an attempt to block your
access to your child.

You may be like many parents during this coronavirus crisis who
are being forced to miss scheduled parenting time because of a co-parent who
feels honoring the court order is unsafe.

Facing parenting
time denial

During a recent webinar, Cordell & Cordell CEO, Executive/Managing Partner Scott Trout and Partner Dan Cuneo discussed how the coronavirus has been impacting regularly scheduled parenting time, and they spoke about the challenges that fathers have been facing as they deal with the ramifications of existing and legally-binding custody schedules no longer being upheld.

“If you are being denied time, there still may be remedies
available to you,” Mr. Cuneo said. “We want you to reach out and contact an
attorney and discuss what are your options, what do we need to do. It could
depend upon the jurisdiction that you’re in. There are essential remedies
available to you, and we want to make sure that you’re not being taken
advantage of and that you’re not sitting back and missing out on time.”

Additionally, this webinar detailed how this type of situation is being handled in several areas of the country. For example, in California, where the shelter-in-place order has been in effect since March 19, family courts are emphasizing the use of common sense, according to Cordell & Cordell Lead Litigator Jason Hopper.

“The standing order from almost all of our courts are that
the existing orders are to be followed,” Mr. Hopper said. “Parenting time and
is deemed essential travel. It’s not within the confines of the shelter in
place rules.”

Filing with family
court still possible

While there may be logistical issues involved in the family
court process during this shutdown associated with the coronavirus pandemic, you
and your family law attorney still are able to file in your state.

“In-person court is banned, so if you have a case, where you are supposed to be seeing your children and your ex-wife has cut you off, we can’t run full throttle into court to file anything and get in front of a judge immediately,” said Cordell & Cordell Litigation Partner Kristin Zurek. “But our courts are still open for filings, so it’s important to know that if something is going on and you want to bring it to the judge’s attention, go talk to your lawyer. You have the ability to upload pleadings to the court.”

While the court may be receiving filings, you may need more,
in order to incite action from the family courts under these circumstances. You
may need to illustrate that this is an emergency situation.

“The judge’s determination needs to be whether or not this
is an emergency that requires a phone conference or a video conference to deal
with it or if it’s something that’s going to have to wait until court reopens,”
Ms. Zurek said.

While the courts may find that the situation is not deemed
to be an emergency, it still is worthwhile to file, offering the court
documented evidence of how much you care about your children.

“It’s still important to get that on file as soon as possible, because you don’t want strategically, the court saying when court is back in session ‘Well, you must have not thought it was that important, because you didn’t file anything,’” said Cordell & Cordell Litigation Partner Kelly Burris. “It’s important to get things on file and see what options you have.”

Child support
challenges

Additionally, issues surrounding child support may arise
during the coronavirus pandemic that may require legal attention. Much of the
population is experiencing financial hardship, and many are expected to lose
their employment. If you do lose your job or find yourself with some sort of
wage reduction, how will you support your children and pay the court-ordered
child support during this challenging time?

“If you are facing a job loss or a wage reduction, one of
the first, most practical things you can do without involving an attorney is to
approach your employer and ask if they will be providing any qualified disaster
relief payments,” Mr. Hopper said. “Typically, when an employer provides any
type of compensation or benefit to an employee, that’s going to be a taxable
event. However, there are provisions within federal code and Internal Revenue
code, as well as in many states’ revenue codes that allow for employers to
provide to employees when there is a disaster declaration, like there is
currently nationwide, qualified disaster relief payments.”

While this may partially assist your financial situation,
you still must deal with the child support order itself. Given the
circumstance, seeking legal assistance may be the only way of navigating these
complex waters and avoiding the piling up of payments that you can no longer
afford.

“Consult with an attorney,” Mr. Hopper said. “You likely
have modification rights available to you.”

If you do not pursue modification, the child support
payments do not go away, just because you no longer have a job or because of
the coronavirus pandemic. You still can find yourself facing hefty child
support payments that if ignored, can become overwhelming, especially with your
children caught in the crossfires.

“You have to file your modification immediately,” said Cordell & Cordell Litigation Partner Rick Julius. “If things change and you don’t find it to be financially beneficial to you once the courts get open, you at least, have that decision down the road. Pennsylvania courts [Mr. Julius’ licensed state] are only going to go back as that modification filing date, in order to do that. It may end up that when it gets heard, that the financial situation has corrected itself and you may be entitled to retroactive modification of that time period.”

Parent, co-parent,
and monitor the situation

With all of the health and economic uncertainty caused by
the coronavirus pandemic, it is necessary for you to learn as much as possible
regarding your state’s family court system and how they handle emergency
situations. That way, if you find yourself facing unemployment with a large
monthly child support payment, or a co-parent who refuses to adhere to the
parenting time issued by the court, you know how to react.

It also is important to understand the perspective of your
children during this pandemic. They may be confused or scared, and as a parent,
it is necessary for you to take time for them, explaining to them the situation
in terms that they understand and monitor their wellness as much as possible.

If it is possible to remain amicable with your co-parent
during this time, do so. Communication and cooperation are necessary components
to co-parenting during normal situations, but with the coronavirus pandemic, it
becomes even more crucial that you put the needs of your children first, before
any animosity.

While this may be an instance of uncertainty, it is necessary for you to monitor the situation from a legal perspective and contact your family law attorney if you feel that changes need to be made.

Related coronavirus coverage:

Free Webinar: Can the Coronavirus Affect Custodial Rights? How Divorces and Parenting Time May Be Impacted

Can I make up lost parenting time due to the COVID-19 pandemic?

Does a Shelter-in-Place Order Limit my Right to Parenting Time?

The post Coronavirus and child custody: Co-parenting during the pandemic appeared first on Dads Divorce.

Read More –>

parenting time

Can I make up lost parenting time due to quarantine during the COVID-19 pandemic?

parenting time

Question:

Can I make up lost parenting time due to quarantine during the COVID-19 pandemic?

Answer:

I practice law in the state Ohio. Unless you live there, I
cannot inform you as to the specific laws of your state, but I can provide you
with general tips in divorce and child custody, as it relates to the COVID-19
pandemic.

Ohio courts have been very clear on this point. They have
indicated that all parenting exchanges and schedules continue to be in full
force and effect. If your child has not been on spring break yet, any time off
due to the pandemic would be deemed regular parenting time, and the scheduled
spring break would still be treated separately under the holiday schedule of
your county or orders governing your parenting time currently in effect.

However, if parenting time is missed, the courts will most
likely grant make-up time after restrictions have been relaxed. I have been
recommending agreement on the make-up time before forgoing the parenting time
itself to all my clients.

While it is clear the courts will still expect people to
follow the current orders, it is unclear whether such denials of parenting time
will result in findings of contempt. Under Ohio law, if there is a finding of
contempt, you can be entitled to receive a portion or even all your attorney
fees spent to prosecute the action.

However, the court has a lot of discretion in making those
awards. As such, I have concerns that the courts will likely find the denial of
parenting time during the pandemic a reasonable reaction, and thus, not
egregious enough to result in an attorney fee award. While this assessment may
be incorrect, it has been my experience that you only receive a portion of
attorney fees, never the whole amount even in the strongest of cases.
Therefore, I suggest establishing the make-up parenting time dates prior to
conceding parenting time.

I want to stress that this is in relation to the Ohio laws
and orders currently in effect. These health measures change almost daily, so
you need to be sure you are following up with the numerous resources offered
through your state to check and see what the current orders are. Many states
that have taken such measures still have carved out exceptions that include
parenting time exchanges, so again, be sure to carefully read the current
orders in effect.

Finally, if there is a lockdown and parenting exchanges
are not excluded, I would still expect courts to grant make-up parenting time
for any time missed during the pandemic.

To arrange an initial consultation to discuss divorce rights for
men with a Cordell & Cordell attorney, including 
Ohio divorce lawyer Daniel
White, 
contact Cordell
& Cordell
.

The post Can I make up lost parenting time due to quarantine during the COVID-19 pandemic? appeared first on Dads Divorce.

Read More –>