You Can’t Heal What You’re Afraid To Feel

You Can’t Heal What You’re Afraid To Feel

 

We have all been so disconnected from FEELING our FEELINGS that we innately believe we should do everything possible to turn away from and avoid them.

The messages we believe are ‘Don’t think about it’, ‘Do something to distract yourself from it’, ‘Think nice or grateful thoughts instead’.

Yet negative emotions, beliefs and unconscious programs are like housework. If unattended they simply pile up and get worse.

It’s my greatest desire that you escape the LIES you have been told about avoiding your emotions forever, and you come home to the ONLY way to Heal for Real.

Because the truth is … it is impossible to recover from trauma unless we feel our feelings.

 

 

Video Transcript

I understand the terror of our feelings.

They can feel TOO big.

We may believe the intensity of painful feelings will take us OUT.

We may have the fear that if we get mired in them, we will not be able to function.

Maybe you believe that healing is going to take forever and that you have to go slowly because you are feeling too much intensity.

And then there are all the unconscious ways we don’t want to ‘feel our feelings’.

Ways such as sneaky, pesky, egoic excuses that distract us from the inner work. Or we may stay busy or zone out with food, alcohol, TV and social media.

The ways that we can avoid emotions and self-medicate and self-abandon our Inner Being are endless.

Today I want to get right down to the essential truths that no-one really has been telling us – apart from people who now understand the truth about trauma recovery.

And this truth is… That it is impossible to recover from trauma unless you feel your feelings.

I want to take you through this step-by-step: why we must feel our feelings as well as how to do it safely, lovingly and powerfully – regardless of how much you have suffered and been through.

Okay, before we get started, thank you everyone who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Now to begin…

 

Feeling Your Feelings Was Vital Even Before Abuse

I certainly didn’t know how important it was to be able to feel my feelings before my Thriver Recovery. In fact, I wasn’t even in my body, partnered with myself in any way. How was I to know this was not healthy when this was my ‘normal?’

I know it has been the same for many of you – living disassociated; not being housed emotionally in your body; looking outwards to life whilst being stuck in survival programs – rather than generating self-creation.

When we are attempting to live life from the outside in, trying to work out what everyone else is or isn’t being, so that we can somehow respond to that to survive – we are a reactor and victim of life.

Yet what we really need to be is a responder and creator of it.

Being a reactor to life equals ‘how to lose’ – every time.

Reacting to life means – ‘I will try to adapt me to become what is necessary to make you grant me what I need to feel safe, successful and loved.’

Responding to life means – ‘I will align with my values, truths and boundaries regarding what my desired life is, and you will either lean in and join me in this experience or leave and clear the way for someone who shares my values and truths and does.’

It’s vital to understand that living life powerfully and successfully, from the inside out, is NOT a logical thing.

You can’t generate this by trying to logically make it happen.

And the reason why you can’t, is because your logical brain only generates 5% of your life experience. What is really unfolding as your life, is from your emotional composition, beliefs and subconscious programs.

Which in short is HOW you FEEL about any topic in your life and the TRUTHS you have EMBODIED about them.

If you haven’t yet come home to your Inner Being to resolve, partner with and heal your emotional self, in regard to the painful topics in your life, including of course narcissistic abuse, then your emotional feelings, beliefs and subconscious programs will be unhealed. They will remain traumatised.

This almighty remaining 95% of your life then rules your thoughts. This is why the stinking thinking and obsessive thoughts that beat you up don’t stop, no matter how hard you try to stop them.

The resolution?

To be in your body, embodied in responding and creating your life effectively. To feel and heal your emotions.

There is no other way.

 

What Your Feelings Are Not

Because of our human obsession to avoid our painful feelings, at all costs, we innately believe we should do everything possible to turn away from and avoid them.

Yet negative emotions, beliefs and unconscious programs are like housework. If unattended they simply pile up and get worse.

This is why, as people age, the trauma, sickness and breakdowns increase and, generally for all of us as members of a narcissistic abuse community, the abusers and the incidents get worse and worse and worse.

The real question is – ‘How bad does it need to get before I do meet my Inner Being and start doing the necessary housework there?’

One of the common reasons why we seem so committed to self-abandoning is the belief that our inner, painful emotions are going to reveal terrible and horrible things about us. Things that we simply may not be able to face.

This is an illusion; it’s not the truth. It’s part of the lie that has been fed to us.

Your negative emotions are NOT who you really are.

They are not your True Coded Divine Self. They are false ideas and lies that were inflicted upon you by other people; people who had these inflicted on them.

Yes, the dense energy of them HURTS. But just as you don’t associate a cut on your leg as ‘I am unlovable, unworthy of love and not worth loving,’ because it is as yet unhealed and feels intensely painful, you should not do the same with any intensely painful feelings.

The truth, which is organically coded into every one of us, is that we are divine, adored and loved beyond measure by all of Creation, because we are Creation itself.

This is the Truth that we are all, in this incredible time, returning to – if you are prepared to wake up, challenge the lies and do the inner work to live free of them.

There is only one way out of the lies… You need to turn within, face and release the negative emotions, and the false beliefs connected to them, and go free of them. You need to know, believe and live within your soul right to FULLY be yourself.

 

What Your Feelings Really Are

Your feelings are no less or more than a signal showing you whether you are integrated on any particular topic in your life or if you have beliefs and traumas blocking you from your True Self and Life.

This is how the ecology of life works regarding your feelings.

What you want with all your heart – love, success, happiness and health – is what your superconscious (God/Source/Creation), which is all the Higher Part of YOU, wants for you too.

This force is benevolent and all-loving.

Whether or not you achieve alignment with this Force, depends on what is going on in your manufacturing powerhouse – your subconscious. When you are aligned on any topic, you feel good and the real-life results unfold beautifully. You experience wholeness.

Triggered traumas, delays, disappointments, and even catastrophes, show you how your inner subconscious beliefs are not what your heart desires and what your Superconscious Creator wants to bring to you.

So, what is your real job?

To attend to the subconscious programs.

How do you do that?

Be at one with your emotions. Accept and bless all of them as the God Signal letting you know ‘where you are at’ with everything and everyone.

If you get caught up in the story, analysis, research and regurgitation of our wounds – meaning staying mired in them – you are missing the point.

You are not supposed to be a student of your negative emotions, any more than you are supposed to study life continually rather than just set yourself FREE to start living it.

What you are supposed to do is find and then LET GO of what is not serving you.

This is the trauma – the emotional fractures, lies, false beliefs and wounds – that are NOT who you really are.

But you can’t do that unless you are determined to meet them and be with them.

If you take the talk therapy track; you hang on to your victimisation. If you identify with these traumas and negative emotions, you simply get stuck and snagged up in your emotions.

If you join groups of ‘survivors’ or ‘victims’, then your only hope is to try to manage the symptoms of the remaining trauma inside of you.

Every time you decide that your negative emotions are you, or a part of you and your life, you hang on to them.

However, you can come back to the Soul Truth, that these negative emotions are only internalised false energies and beliefs inflicted on you.

They are NOT you!

When we Go Quantum we know that there is NO reason to regurgitate or be in the story.

We know we have methods that work directly with the subconscious in ways that the subconscious responds. We can feel, hold, load up and release dense trauma energy, unlike cognitive talk therapy, research and information gathering, which use our logical brain and doesn’t connect to or communicate with our limbic and nervous systems where the trauma energy is trapped.

Once we start working with our negative emotions the Quantum Way, we know that no matter what the trauma is, no matter how big and who it came from, that this information is truly irrelevant.

Yes the traumas you experienced were awful and terrible for you, and their effects have been grave, disastrous and far-reaching in your life, BUT what is relevant now is getting whatever that trauma is ‘up and out’ of your Being.

When this happens, you can simply return to your Coded True Self – which is joy, love, success and health.

When you start living this way, I promise you will realise that simply being with trauma – feeling it, loading it up without getting taken out into the head story, and then fully releasing it and living free from it – profoundly works.

These shifts are somatically felt.

It is so much more than ‘trying to think differently’.

It is a profound process of letting the pain and fear go, and being filled with your superconscious Light and Truth that reactivates you without trauma.

The result is this: you don’t just start trying to force yourself to heal and change – you just ARE healed and changed on that topic.

You emerge knowing and being the wholeness that you were once struggling to grasp, let alone retain.

But, as mentioned before, this doesn’t happen until you are willing to feel WHAT you need to feel and release and replace, from deep within your emotional visceral Being.

 

Being Self-Partnered and Feeling Your Feelings is Your True Divinity

When you start living like this, you will understand how natural it is to be in your body, navigating life from ‘Who Am I REALLY in regard to this?’ rather than trying to work out who to be via everything and everyone else.

It is such a relief to manage and heal your own painful emotions when triggered, rather than handing away your power to False Sources (narcissists) to try to force them to help you.

It is so beautiful to be anchored into your values and truths, and not to be so precariously susceptible to people’s actions, decisions and opinions of you.

When you are self-partnered and have fully accepted all of your emotions as divine and meant to be –‘You are showing me what I am in alignment with and what I need to heal within me’ – then you will become incredible self-accepting, self-loving and self-generative.

You will start to become and experience the glory of what it is to be an actualised human being – living life to your fullest potential; consciously aligning and integrating your subconscious with your conscious heart desires and superconscious Creator Self.

This is what Going Quantum is all about – going inwards and feeling. It is not just the new Neuro and Quantum Model of True Healing, it is also the model of your True Life.

If you deeply get this, let me know by writing below – ‘I am going to Go Quantum NOW!’

Self-partnering is the FIRST essential step to do this – and is exactly what my Thriver Processes teaches. Coming home powerfully, safely and lovingly to yourself.

I ask you to join me in my free healing workshop: The 3 Keys To Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse.

You can do this by clicking the link.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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How To Connect To Your Higher Power

How To Connect To Your Higher Power

 

I’ve no doubt that today is going to be a very spirited conversation. (Pardon the pun!)

Because I want to talk to you about your Higher Power – and what I believe from the Quantum perspective that it is.

Today’s Thriver TV is about how our connection with our Higher Power links into the relationships we have with ourselves, life and others – and how we can holistically integrate effectively and become at one with ALL of these parts.

Many of you in this Community have asked me over the years, ‘How CAN I connect to my Higher Power?’, so it is with absolute joy that today I talk to you about a topic very dear to my heart.

 

Video Transcript

Many people want to know how to connect to their Higher Power.

Or maybe you haven’t thought about connecting to your Higher Power and so wonder what that may be like. Maybe you don’t even know that you would like to connect to a Higher Power, and therefore haven’t thought about whether this is necessary or not.

Maybe you have had religious experiences that have turned you off the ‘God thing’, and therefore you’re not sure whether you even want to believe in a Higher Power, let alone connect to one.

Whatever your thoughts, feelings and circumstance, I am really thrilled to be having this conversation about a Higher Power with you today, because it is a topic really close to my heart. And I hope with all my heart, that this video will enlighten you and clear up some important questions for you, as well as give you access to the joy, truth, relief and love that your heart and soul yearns for.

Okay, before we get started, thank you everyone who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do.

And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Now, on to the episode!

What Is Your Higher Power?

I think the answer to this question is very personal, and I really don’t believe there is any right or wrong answer. I’ll give you my personal take on a Higher Power, and I would really love it in your comments about this video that you please respect other people’s beliefs or versions of their Higher Power.

There have been enough judgement and atrocities, including countless murders, on this planet already due to people demonising other people’s Higher Power views and beliefs. This is not what this Thriver space is here for.

If you want to do that, I ask you respectfully please do it somewhere else.

Anyway, this is what I believe – God/Source/Creation/Lifeforce is everywhere and is in everything. I believe my Higher Power is the space from where everything came and is the part of my Inner Being that governs and controls my cells and processes. Also, I believe our Higher Power is the miracle of life and all that ‘is’. I believe God is Quantum and the Creator of Quantum Law.

I believe this God-force does not look at us as lesser, unworthy beings, but is showing us, through life experience, that we are magnificent God-like Quantum Beings.

I believe this God-force is loving and benevolent and non-judgemental and does not impose conditions of love and acceptance. I believe that these are man-made constructs.

I believe All That IS …. already IS …. and has NO Requirement. What could God want when God is already everything?

I believe that we are SO unconditionally loved by God, and that the God Quantum Energy state says, ‘Whatever you are Being – I will give you more of THAT, without any judgment.’

I believe God does not choose our destinies, but allows us to choose and create them ourselves, and that God is always calling us forward with all that we need to choose differently, if what we are choosing is not our True Self and True Life.

I feel so blessed in my life today, to experience incredible love and partnership with my Higher Power. I feel adored without conditions, and I feel that Source has my back and is always striving to bring me exactly what I need in order to release myself to the next highest level of love, joy, success and glory.

This is the partnership I have with my Higher Power now – but it certainly was not always like this.

So, let me explain what it was like – and the shift I had to make to live with this Higher Power relationship.

 

My Previous Fractures With God

I used to have many personal and painful beliefs regarding my Higher Power.

I believed God thought I was wrong, defective, and even ‘bad’.

It’s interesting … when I have worked with people with Quanta Freedom Healing, who have been abused by narcissists, how often these painful beliefs have been trapped in their subconscious also.

And to me, it stands to reason how in real life we get and accept the treatment that relates to the subconscious feelings we really have about ourselves.

But more than this, it really is how we feel about our Higher Power’s relationship with us.

I absolutely used to believe that this Higher Force was judging me, punishing me and had even forsaken me.

On the inside, I felt like God must have turned his/her back on me; that I was all alone, out on the edge without love, guidance or a way back home.

In fact, I felt so disconnected from God that I thought I must be a horrible mistake, some abnormality that wasn’t even meant to be here.

When I got deeply into my Thriver Recovery, I knew that an integrated being is someone who feels whole within their relationship with their Higher Power and Self and Others/Life. I knew I had to heal this, because it became apparent to me that for these relationships to be real and functional, I could not have one without the other.

If deep down we believe God doesn’t love us or is punishing us, then how can we love and accept ourselves?

We can’t. And this is why we look to False Sources for our salvation – for our sense of inner wholeness, love, approval, security and survival – rather than have a relationship directly with our True Source.

And this is why we go through horrific experiences with narcissists.

In my awakening on my bathroom floor, when I saw the truth about my disconnection with myself and God and Life in general, I knew I had to heal all of it. I knew I had to find and connect to the truth with my Higher Power. I had seen the truth of Source in my breakdown epiphany; I had felt the unconditional love and the devotion of how everything had happened FOR me and not TO me.
But how was I going to come home to live that truth every day?

 

The Truth of Our Relationship With God

What I really know as my personal truth now is that we are never not partnered with Our Higher Power, because God is so big we can’t miss him/her.

I also know God and we are One, eternally – and yet we can absolutely have the experience of NOT being with God.

As the God like Creators we are, in the hologram of our personal experience, we are unfolding to the letter our believed experience, according to the emotional experiences and belief systems we have taken on from others.

If we were not taught about our Oneness with God, and instead believed in separation, judgement and conditions, then our soul, which is NOT these things now, will have turned away from this lack of love.

In previous times, having a relationship with God through some of God’s finest presence, such as in plants, nature, healing arts and the ecology of medicine and intelligence of our planet, literally meant death to millions of women who were demonised as witches.

This trauma is still in all our female psyches.

It was not God at work; it was humans using God as their vehicle to do such things.

Likewise, it is frightening the number of adults I have done deep healing with, who were sexually abused through church groups or beaten maliciously by nuns, in the name of God.

I have also done healings with people who carried the terror of being terrified to fall asleep if they hadn’t said their prayers as children, as an example, in case they died in the middle of the night and went to hell instead of heaven.

(Now, I don’t believe hell is a place. It is a state, and that state is the ‘separation trauma’ of not knowing the truth about God.)

I don’t believe any of these ‘rules’ and ‘behaviours’ have anything to do with God. I believe they were man-made constructs portraying God as a needy, judgemental and vengeful human, instead of our True Higher Loving Power.

Is it any wonder so many of us have had fractures with God?

I know mine were horrific.

I believe in the human psyche and that on both personal and collective levels, these fractures ARE shocking and are incredibly responsible for the relationships that we have with ourselves and with each other.

 

How to Heal Our Relationship With God

This I know – when we find and release and up level all of the terrible fractures we have internalised about our Higher Power, we come home to our True Relationship with God.

This relationship is what we already have coded within us as our organic truth. There is nothing we need to do to GET it, because we already ARE it. We already are at ONE, unconditionally, with God.

These traumas and false beliefs that have been inflicted upon us, taking us out of our Creator Truth and Power, are what disconnects us from knowing this relationship.

The following is what we experience when we get these traumas out of the way:

We know we are safe, eternal, immortal and will never not exist. We know we are already ‘home’, no matter where we are.

We know we are love and loved.

We know that if we honour our Inner Being, we honour all of Creation – The Field and Life and Others – and that God backs, support and honours this truth.

We know that what we want deeply at a soul level is what God wants for us too, just as much, and that God is always co-partnering with us to grant us this.

We know that we are flourished, nourished and adored beyond measure.

We deeply understand that when we take a wrong turn and things seem bad, that God is still loving us enough to grant us the evidence to awaken us back to our True Self and True Life.

 

The Filling of the Light With Quanta Freedom Healing Shifts In the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP)

In every NARP Healing shift experience, you are loading up the traumas and false beliefs that hurt, on any and every topic in your life, and then filling the space with your Higher Power.

NARP is so effective and heals what our logical mind simply can’t because it enlists a Higher Power to enter you where the trauma previously was.

And this Higher Power is not a needy, judgemental, conditional human construct of a God. Instead, it is your superconscious – the highest, wisest, infinite potential on any particular topic you are working on at the time. Because that is WHAT God JUST is!

This is what grants the spectacular shifts away from traumatised, broken states into fulfilled, whole, empowered ones instantly with NARP, and is why it regularly heals the unhealable in this Community.

To really accept and fill up and expand with this Light, it has been essential for some NARP members, myself included, to do specific healings on releasing the inner fractures with our Higher Power.

NARP addresses this specifically in certain Modules, recognising how essential it is, and these fractures can also be targeted with Module 1 or the Bonus Modules, in ways that are highly specific and effective.

If you are already on NARP and you want more specific direction, please ask here on the blog – I am really happy to answer your comments and questions about this.

If you are not a NARP member yet, and you want to release all that is NOT you and start filling with your Higher Power – your superconscious Self – then I can’t recommend enough doing the Module healings.

It is EXACTLY what healed me.

Okay, you can get started on NARP by clicking this link. And please know that you have a complete guarantee with my program – there is nothing for you to risk in trying it.

So, in closing, please let’s respect each other’s Higher Power choices and views, and please know I am totally not offended in any way if you don’t agree with my views.

I look forward to your comments and questions.

 

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The Spiritual Vampire – How To Eradicate A Narcissist’s Energy From You For Good

The Spiritual Vampire – How To Eradicate A Narcissist’s Energy From You For Good

 

You may be stunned by how, even after leaving a narcissist, it feels like their trauma lives on inside you.

Do you feel like they have a psychic hose stuck in you, sucking out your Life-force?

Why doesn’t the trauma go away? How can you get his terrible ‘entire being and psyche takeover’ feeling to leave?

The solution is not logical – it is in fact deeply spiritual and Quantum.

I can’t wait to share with you, what this spiritual vampire energy really is, and how to eradicate it, rise beyond it and live free from it forever.

 

 

Video Transcript

Many people are shocked by the soul vandalism that goes on with narcissistic abuse. How a narcissist can infiltrate your being and suck your energy dry.

Most people end up being barely a shell afterwards.

The truth is narcissistic abuse is a spiritual phenomenon and a psychic disease – it’s like a black ink that poisons your entire brain, body and nervous system.

Today I want to take you into what is necessary to detox from a narcissist’s energy permanently – so that you not only go free of the narcissist but also potentially all the fears and dark energy that have derailed you in your life.

Please know we are going to get very spiritual and Quantum in this Thriver TV lesson today!

Before we get started, I want to thank those of you who have subscribed to join the Thriver Tribe, and if you haven’t yet, please do subscribe. Also, if you like this video, please hit the like button!

Okay, so let’s begin today’s episode.

 

The Belief of Darkness and Light

There is a lot of controversy about what narcissists are and what is going on with the ‘soul war’ that we have with them.

It is a popular religious belief regarding darkness and evil and Light and God, that narcissists are evidence of evil on the planet, taking the good Life-force from others.

I know this may ruffle some feathers, but from a Quantum perspective, I don’t agree with this philosophy. What I believe is that there is only Light and that all evil – darkness is the absence of Light – is to do with trauma and false beliefs.

I see it all as True Self and False Self.

Now stay with me in this following conversation, because I promise you that there is a point to it.

I believe that True Self means being of God, of the Light, and knowing in Quantum Truth that everything is connected; that all this is love and there is no part that is not the Oneness of Life/Source/Creation. From the Quantum level, we now know scientifically that when we view the smallest subatomic particles of ourselves we go beyond matter into wavefunctions. The very nucleus of us all is a consciousness and energy that is directly connected to the energy of all other Beings and things.

Okay, so the point I am getting to is this: narcissism has forgotten this. It is the belief in ‘separation’, which is the greatest wound in the human experience, that has caused the darkness.

It’s the forgetting; the turning away from the Light and believing in a separate self that is ‘thrown out’ and not accepted by the whole.

That’s the insanity, the damage and the trauma in the human psyche. THAT is the darkness.

If we feel ‘separate’, we don’t believe that we are worthy of love from Life/Source/Creation; we feel defective and unacceptable. When we feel ‘separate’, we treat others in the ways that we really feel about ourselves, taking what we need to survive (narcissism) by force, manipulation or coercion. Or we try to ‘people’ please to get love, approval, security and survival, and we do this because we don’t feel capable of generating these things for ourselves directly with Life/Source/Creation (co-dependency).

These two lots of individuals are incredibly powerful magnets for each other.

The co-dependent will feed the narcissist’s insatiable need to abuse and take, and the co-dependent easily falls for the narcissist pretending to be their Source of ‘everything they need’.

The huge problem I have with the religious view of Evil (them) and Light (us) is that there is the missing piece, which is us taking responsibility to look at our own beliefs and traumas. Our beliefs and the associated traumas have impacted us in our lives – both from the collective and personal human experience – because we have also fallen into the trap of ‘belief of separation’.

Through the forgetting of Who We Really Are, we have stopped being a connected Oneness able to generate Life directly with Life. Instead, we have become lesser beings trying to get our salvation through False Sources.

And this is EXACTLY what narcissists are.

 

The Power in the Belief of Good

The truth sets us free.

Yes, narcissists are vampires and they are sucking our Life-force. However, if we just put it down to evil and believe that this can happen to anyone, then we are dangerously in Wrong Town.

Likewise, we are in Wrong Town if we believe we must be on the lookout for these people to avoid them, and therefore we don’t look within ourselves to heal what we need to.

I much prefer Right Town, which means taking the personal responsibility to know that we are the generative source of our own experience. This is what I know as the number one criteria in narcissistic abuse recovery – the acceptance of ‘this is happening FOR me’.

If we know there is only Light and Love, we know that no matter what our experience at a soul level is, it is perfect. We are being brought the experiences to wake us up into our inner healing truths to become the people we need to be, to up-level and move beyond our previous separation and fearful beliefs.

Then we can start being Who We Really Are – not small separated beings thrown out of the Oneness, but incredible holistic, connected, magnificent Beings instead.

I truly don’t know of any process more powerful than narcissistic abuse to bring us to that place of awakening.

I want you to think about this…

Our separation beliefs are: ‘I am defective, unloved and unwanted. I must be being punished. I am on my own; it’s me against life. It’s not safe to be myself. It’s not even safe to be in life or alive. I am not supported by Life/Source/Creation, and I have to earn my right to exist. In fact, I don’t get support from anywhere. There must be something wrong with me. Maybe I’m cursed because my life is a struggle and I am always up against everything that is pitted against me.’

Can you relate?

After narcissistic abuse, we feel like this horrifically. When we start doing the real Quantum inner work to heal from narcissistic abuse, we find out that many, if not all, of these beliefs were already in our Energy Field – from collective human beliefs, past lives, genetic family history and, of course, our childhoods. In fact, we have been in repeat on these painful beliefs, which have been holding us separated to varying degrees from the Oneness and the Light that is the REAL truth.

The narcissist was the messenger of these traumas, ironically appearing to be the saviour of them. Because we were living our own separation beliefs of being ‘outed’ from Oneness, we assigned this person as a False Source – as the Light. Metaphorically this person became a ‘God’ or a ‘parent’ to us. The person to take away the pain of feeling unloved and unworthy.

Maybe before narcisistic abuse, we knew we were in pain and knew we weren’t whole. Or maybe we were so busy trying to survive in life, as a result of doing life from the outside in (separation) that we had no idea because it was all we had ever known.  Often, because these traumas were our ‘normal’ – we have been carrying them in our Being for goodness knows how long – it’s not until we graduate back home to our Connected/Oneness beliefs that we realise how separated we have been.

And how painful and traumatic that was.

The reason I called this section ‘The Power In The Belief of Good’ is this: when we know the horrific pain of the trauma and beliefs of ‘separation’ are happening to us for a reason – FOR us – then we know we need to heal. We know we desperately need to find a way out of the internal hell that all of the false beliefs and traumas have cast us into.

If we don’t awaken and align with the truth, what are we going to do? Attempt to medicate the trauma away so that we don’t feel anything at all? Or cross the line into selling our soul and becoming a narcissist ourselves to try to escape the inner hell that we are now living in?

Or, will we heal for real from this and release ourselves into our True Self and True Life?

Naturally, I take a stand for the later. I’ve said so many times to this community, ‘You could not give me any amount of money to go back to who I was, and the life I lived, even before narcissistic abuse.’ Thank goodness I made the journey to my True Self and True Beliefs and still continue this journey every day.

As a result, I am thrilled to be in my body, on this planet, doing this Life. The pain has gone, and constant joy, growth, possibility and miracle are available. And I know that this awaits every Thriver who takes this journey too.

This is what I truly believe ‘evil’ is… It is the absence of Light. It is the dire separation from the truth.

And I believe ‘hell’ is a state. It is being immersed in the false beliefs and traumas that are NOT the truth of Who We Are.

Narcissists live in that place – they are stuck there – but we don’t have to be.

There is a way out.

 

Narcissists Are the Symptom Not the Problem

Here is another controversial statement.

Narcissists are not the issue; they are the symptom of the real issue.

The real problem is the belief of separation within humanity, causing people to be in trauma and pain and hurt. It’s people spreading this psychic disease of separation further and further by looking at life from the outside in – there is always someone else to blame in my victimhood.

When our soul has had enough of this state and knows it’s time to be free of these traumas and false beliefs, the unconscious will become conscious. That’s when the evidence that we are in Wrong Town can turn up in our life as a narcissist.

When we are carrying the traumas of separation, and everything within our belief system is painful, lacking and limited, then the people who match these beliefs turn up and ingrain themselves in our experience.

But when they smash us hard enough, we awaken to the Interconnected POWERHOUSE CREATOR that we are which is this – my life unfolds to the letter according to my Belief Systems.

Alright … so, if you believe and understand that you are a Powerful Quantum Creator Beyond Measure – please write EXACTLY that below!

Okay… Like a leaking roof that is being ignored, or a car that is getting driven despite the engine making really weird grinding noises, the traumas of separation, and the breakdown get worse and worse until they get your attention. And this is all because they are false and defective and not organically functional.

Narcissists are the poster people representing that experience.

When we believe we are separated and hurting, and we don’t take on the inner Quantum power to heal ourselves, we try to get the fix on the outside and in doing so hand our power away and get abused. Until we turn inwards to heal our painful, false belief systems, we cling and try to force the abuser into saving us.

And things get worse and worse and worse until we stop doing this.

Gosh, it’s terrible – it’s heartbreaking and it just doesn’t work. The narcissist, who is stuck in his or her own trauma and survival delusions, fully believing that you are the cause of their issues, believes to feel better he or she is entitled to take your lifeforce and everything that is yours. Hence the being sucked dry by the narcissist’s vampirish ways.

There are no happy endings in this dynamic. And even if we do get away and believe that the narcissist was the issue – then why can’t we heal? The answer is simple. Because we haven’t yet released ourselves from the traumas and beliefs of the biggest disease to ever infect this planet – the lie of separation.

It’s only by letting go of False Sources (aka narcissists) and doing what we have always needed to do, come inside and face and unpack our traumas and false beliefs on the inside of us, that we get our salvation.

 

The Truth About Detoxing a Narcissist

The real evidence of any truth is when it works.

The Thrivers who are mentally, emotionally, and spiritually free of narcissists – even those they still have to parallel parent with – are free because they went to their traumas, as someone would a leaky roof or grinding engine and fixed the inside issue. They healed their beliefs of separation.

When we do this with our triggered traumas, which are catastrophic after being smashed by narcissists, one by one they leave our Being. And as they go, with them goes the false belief(s) connected to the trauma.

We literally unpack ourselves from the human madness and pain that we have been entrenched in. We learn how to be in life in a connected way – knowing what it is to Go Quantum and have Life/Source/Creation flowing through us as us.

We know that Life unfolds itself in our experience to the letter according to our Inner Belief systems, and that when we heal these beliefs not only does our entire experience change, but also we deeply change at our core. We no longer play life the way we used to.

We get better and we do better.

We live life powerfully, as a master of our life from the inside out rather than as a victim of life from the outside in.

I promise you when you get to that level – and even when you are in the process of it – the narcissist becomes less and less valid in your experience. You’ll get to the point where seeing him or her is as quickly forgotten as stepping over a slug on the pavement and moving on.

When you have truly understood that a narcissist’s purpose in your life is to thrust you into the deepest experience of darkness to be-come and anchor the Light, for yourself and humanity, then you know and start living in the truth.

I promise you that when you get there, your soul contact is complete and all that hurts, including your trauma symptoms, goes. You also go free of previous limitations and fears.

The narcissist will leave your experience and go smash someone else’s separation beliefs into fully blown consciousness – granting them exactly the opportunity you just experienced.

Are you ready to take your graduation, out of the darkness and pain into the interconnectedness and powerfulness of your True Life? If so come with me. The journey not just SAVED my life, it also GAVE me my life – and I know it can do the same for you.

You can get this started by clicking this link.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always, I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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5 Delightful Ways To Do Self-Care Without Feeling Guilty

5 Delightful Ways To Do Self-Care Without Feeling Guilty

 

Self-care can be a struggle.

We may tell ourselves that we don’t have time, and…

There are things or people in our life that are SO much more important right now.

Or maybe self-care is something we have never known how to do for ourselves.

This I know, with releasing my own struggle with self-care and assisting so many others get free of their self-denial too, that we can carry DEEP guilt in regard to looking after ourselves.

We may have MANY multi-layered painful beliefs regarding this!

In today’s Thriver Tv Episode I want to deeply investigate this with you, to help free you also from the guilt of looking after you.

Not just for yourself, but for all others and everything you touch.

Which is why self-care is SO important.

As you will discover today!

 

 

Video Transcript

Putting oneself first is not an easy thing. There can be many multi-layered beliefs that have stopped us thinking this is healthy to do.

Guilt can be a big barrier.

How many of us have thought that taking care of self is wrong, selfish and even narcissistic?

Many of us came from the mindset of the previous generation of survival, and energy expended must be on practical ‘doing’ tasks, rather than so-called ‘self-indulgent’ ones.

Today I want to grant you 5 wonderful ways we can take care of ourselves, as well as the internal shifts we can do on our subconscious programs, to evolve beyond guilt and get healthier.

Okay, before we get started, thank you for being a subscriber to my channel, and if you haven’t yet, please do subscribe. Also, if you like this video, please give it a thumbs up!

Now let’s look at the reasons why healthy self-care is essential!

 

By Honouring Ourselves We Honour the Entire Field In Honourable Ways

I want to begin by saying what we do need to be-come and shift into – it’s what we are all taught by the airplane analogy – to put our oxygen mask on first before attempting to help anyone else with theirs.

If we are gasping for air, we potentially do more damage than good to others.

This is why I am so adamant about parents healing themselves as their first point of call, before attempting to sort out things for their children.

Quantum Law is a very exact Law of so within, so without. If we try to serve others whilst we are going empty, then our efforts will only bring more pain and emptiness to others and ourselves. Yet if we come from a place of wholeness, then we affect others and the entire Field in whole and healthy ways.

What is also vitally important is that we don’t continue the message of dire co-dependency that we were fed growing up –  that going without and people pleasing and keeping the peace so that others will love you, is what we should do.

We all know how that turned out.

Also, if we stay broken and empty and our children see this, whilst we try to give them everything they need, then they will grow up not emulating what we want for them, but rather how we were to ourselves.

That’s what children do, take on the programs of how their parents modelled ‘self’ to them.

Okay so now that we have this clear, that we need to become a healthy model of self for self, others and all of Life, let’s look at the first delightful way we can do this.

 

#1 Say ‘No’ When Exhausted, and Replenish Yourself Instead

If we keep helping others when we are wrung out and exhausted ourselves, then we are in Wrong Town. Sometimes of course, when we have little children and we have no option, this is all a part of being a parent. What I am really talking about here is when other capable people ask for our help, and we fear saying ‘no’ to them.

We may be scared of losing their love or approval if we were to honour ourselves. Yet if we say ‘Yes’ when we don’t have the energy to comply, or it compromises our values and boundaries to do so, the energy will be murky. We could be resentful that they expect us ‘to drop everything for them’. We may lose valuable self-esteem and self-worth. We may be pissed because other people in the family or friendship circle won’t help and we are the one that gets lumbered with it.

If we are playing victim to all of this, we make out it is the other person’s lack of consideration that is causing our distress, yet truly it is our own poor boundary function.

There is a very essential truth about all of this – if you are okay with honouring your energy levels, other healthy people respect this too. They have other options. They don’t think badly of you. They know that being the generous person you are, that if you could assist you would.

The bottom line is when you have healed internally about this: you are not obsessing about whether or not they accept your ‘No’ because you know that honouring self is your number one priority, regardless.

If you get sorted in your inner beliefs and boundaries and know that you are not serving others in high and honourable ways, unless you are replenished – then you know if people don’t accept your ’no’, they should not be in your life.

What you will also discover is that when you do respect yourself, people respect you more too. If you are the always ‘giving person’ who bends over backward to give people assistance, you will discover that when it comes time for you to need help – no-one will be there for you.

Why not?

Because they are reflecting back to you how you are not there for yourself.

What is vitally important here is moving out of guilt to discover how easy and unselfish it is to be honest with people regarding whether you can help or not.

Those of you who are NARPers, if this is an area in your life you still struggle with, I suggest feeling into these beliefs:

  • People will only love me if I serve them.
  • If I say ‘no’ I will be punished.
  • I have to earn love and approval.
  • Other people’s needs and energy are more important than my own.
  • Other people don’t respect or support what I need.
  • I don’t deserve my own kindness and care.

If you feel any emotional charges in your body when you check inwards on these beliefs, then you would benefit greatly from clearing them out.

I recommend NARP Module 1 and the Source Healing and Resolution Module to do this effectively and powerfully. Then you will be-come that person who can say ‘no’ and honour you so much more easily.

 

#2 Ask For Help When Needed

I know this can be a tough one to tackle, and it may not feel ‘delightful’ at all. But please know ‘growth’ doesn’t come from not facing uncomfortable feelings.

Please know that asking for help and granting others the opportunity to supply it, is one of the most beautiful ways people can bond with you. It’s scientifically proven that the act of giving grants the giver oxytocin, which emotionally bonds them with feelings of love to the person they are giving to.

Many people don’t realise that if they are doing everything themselves, and they are not asking for what they need and allowing themselves to receive, then they are not generating deeper connections with others.

If you are the only one giving, it is usual for the person continually receiving to lose interest and start disconnecting from you.

Belief systems have a huge amount to do with being able to be a receiver. If you feel guilty about asking for what you need and terribly uncomfortable with receiving – which is very normal for people who have suffered narcissistic abuse – there is work to be done here!

Let’s look at the goal of where we want to get. It’s this: being able to ask clearly and confidently for assistance when needed – without being winey, passive-aggressive, trying to guilt others into it, or giving long-winded explanations about why we can’t do it ourselves.

All of this is a product of not believing we deserve help, and then we will see the results reflected back to us of exactly that!

I know with myself, this was huge (as were all my deservedness and boundary function issues!). Personally, I believe that if this is a struggle, there are some very important belief systems that we may need to look at and release and heal.

Here is my list for you to check out:

  • Everything is up to me.
  • I am unsupported by life and others.
  • My needs are invalidated and unimportant.
  • I am invisible.
  • If I let people do things for me, they will hold it over me, control me and hurt me.

Again Module 1 and the Source Healing and Resolution Module in NARP can powerfully release these beliefs for you – granting you the trajectory of life where you CAN ask for and receive support, as well as let people go who were a match for these previous painful beliefs.

 

#3 Do Nice Things for Yourself

Once upon a time, I used to feel bad for someone having to work too hard on me with a message, even though I was paying them for it! And I felt so guilty spending money on it that I couldn’t enjoy it anyway. In my mind, it felt like time wasted on myself, when I could have been doing something so much more productive.

If we are into being over-practical, incredibly responsible and frugal and self-denying – then it is extremely hard to do nice things for ourselves.

How many people work hard and are over practical all their life, and then it is too late to enjoy the fruits of their labours? Maybe they are too old, or they get sick, or even die before they do.

Many people who have security fears struggle to have holidays, or a new hairdo or a night out to dinner, or to buy some clothes or do something pampering for oneself.

I love it how people in the NARP community have granted themselves the most beautiful acts of self-giving, by doing things such as their own ring ceremony to affirm their love to themselves, or they buy themselves flowers on Valentine’s day.

I remember when I was coming out of my over-functioning, brutal workaholism and self-punishment that I would take myself out to dinner, to a yoga class, or a beautiful location for a holiday.

When financially recovering from narcissistic abuse, little joys and time spent with yourself don’t need to cost money. Time spent in nature is free and replenishing. We can do things like taking a picnic and a good book on the beach.

Or if staying indoors, turning on some music and dancing in your living room to it.

The ways to do nice things for ourselves are endless, and the more we clear trauma our of our Being, the more space we have within to start connecting to Lifeforce and the good stuff.

Even our healing time with ourselves is a special act of self-giving. I love making this time for me, by making myself a lovely cup of something, sitting on my couch and releasing dense energy and bringing more Light in. Or I do this when I am walking on the beach in the morning – and I always feel fantastic afterward.

What I love about treating self in healthy ways, is that this sets a precedent for being able to accept others giving to us as well. It also means that we will be generous with our giving to others.

Let’s look at some limiting beliefs that can block us doing nice things for ourselves.

  • It is wrong, selfish, ungodly etc. to do nice things for myself.
  • There are others who need so much more than me.
  • If I spend money on me, I will not have enough.
  • If I am not focused on the practical, something terrible could go wrong in my life.

Again NARPers you know what to do, to dig these beliefs out and start living your life free of them!

 

#4 Eat Healthy

With the number of toxins and chemicals that have infiltrated our food sources, it has become more necessary than ever that we choose whole and healthy foods.

Healthy fresh whole foods are delicious when a little care has gone into their preparation. Food education hasn’t been something the generation before us were focused on. Packaged convenience food were things that many of us were brought up on, to accept as okay in our diets, yet this isn’t healthy at all.

Food can harm or heal. Nonconscious food choices can create weight gain, diabetes, inflammation and organ, nervous system and brain damage. Healthy whole foods nourish our brain and body.

A very large part of our health, radiance, energy and wellbeing is about what we eat.

In the information age we live in, truly ignorance doesn’t cut it anymore – we can all google and learn about what is healthy and what isn’t.

By eating whole foods and eliminating sugar and preservatives as much as possible from your diet, you will reap the rewards of a healthy body and mind, as well as a glowing lifeforce within.

I truly believe healthy food is essential self-care.

Let’s look at some limiting beliefs that can prevent us from eating healthily

  • Healthy food is boring, unappetising and unpleasant.
  • I won’t enjoy myself if I can’t eat the foods I want.
  • I don’t deserve to nourish my being.
  • I will be rejected or ostracised by my family or peers if I eat healthily.
  • Sugar and bad foods fill my emptiness within.
  • I punish myself with bad food.

And of course, there may be others that are very specific to you.

Belief systems are such a big part of healthy food struggles, I really recommend doing the inner work to make this journey easier for yourself.

All you need to do is target the traumas with Module 1 or the Source Healing and Resolution Module that are generating your limiting food beliefs.

By clearing them, you will evolve beyond them and reset to your organic truth which is ‘health and wellbeing’.

 

#5 Move Your Body

Our Life-force when stagnant gets depressed, stuck and even toxic. Holistically and optimally we need to move our body every day. This is such an important part of our recovery, evolution and expansion to open up the cells in our Being, as we release trauma, so that Lifeforce and Wellbeing (Source) can enter us and move through us as us.

Exercise is a big part of this.

The benefits from exercise are so good – emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Exercise is a very personal journey. I love walking, yoga and Pilates. it is a very rare day that I don’t do some form of exercise, even just a walk.

Let’s look at some limiting exercise beliefs

  • Exercising is unpleasant and boring.
  • I don’t have the energy or the motivation to exercise.
  • I don’t deserve to be healthy and fit.
  • What is the point? It’s going to be too hard and take too long to achieve the results I want.
  • If I open up to exercise, I will be unsafe, exposed and not able to contain my emotions.
  • I punish myself by not moving.

Naturally digging out our limiting beliefs can be very confronting, yet if we leave them there we have a constant battle with ourselves, where we can literally drive ourselves crazy and the guilt is horrific each time we default back to the limiting belief.

As Dr. Bruce Lipton explains, when the subconscious and the conscious mind go up against each other, the subconscious wins, hence why doing the reprogramming there is so much more effective.

With all of these five self-care delightful practices, a very powerful and easy way to get them online is to target the traumas in your Inner Being that are blocking you doing (whatever the self-care practice is) and one by one you can dig them all out and release so that you naturally flow forward into these desired practices.

Again Module 1 and the Source Healing and Resolution Module in NARP are very effective solutions for this – and all you have to do is follow the instructions in these healings.

This is what I love about our Thriver Journey, it is so much more than just escaping narcissistic abuse, it is REALLY about becoming our healthiest and most actualised self.

If these are areas of your life that you wish to heal and improve, I’d love to help you, from the inside out, achieve this. My entire system for recovery of ourselves is highly effective, and you can learn more about this in my free 16-day recovery course which you can access here.

And I’d love to hear your feedback regarding this episode. Did you relate to these five areas and the limiting beliefs? Do you want to see more videos about topics like these? Also, let me know what topics you would like me to cover regarding healing stuff apart from narcissistic abuse.

And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always, I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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The Proven Way To Heal Toxic Relationship Trauma – Part One

The Proven Way To Heal Toxic Relationship Trauma – Part One

 

The effects of narcissistic abuse can be excruciating.

Many of us have tried so hard to heal from the anxiety, depression and feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness that abuse trauma can cause.  And some of you may have gone on to develop adrenal malfunction, fibromyalgia, Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) or agoraphobia.

So why were we able to get up and go again with other events in our life – even serious ones – but this time we just CAN’T…

…despite all the effort we make, the knowledge we learn and the practices we study?

In this Thriver TV Episode, we will look at ineffectual avenues of healing and why they haven’t worked. We will investigate the scientific evidence of the new healing ways, that do heal us deeply at our core, and why they do.

If you have battled to heal, and possibly even feel defective or a failure because you aren’t getting better, today’s episode is a must-watch video for you.

 

 

Video Transcript

This is the first of a two-part series about healing from interpersonal trauma.

This episode includes why it has been so difficult to heal from narcissistic abuse and relationship trauma. We will also be looking at the different ways we thought we could be healed, ways that have proven for most people to be ineffectual, as well as Quantum Healing effectiveness that is now backed by science and which does release us from trauma, deeply, at our subconscious and cellular level, in ways that standard contemporary therapy simply can’t.

Today you are going to start learning exactly why talk therapy and trying to think differently, and even learning copious amounts of information about abuse and your abuse symptoms, although can help you know you’re not alone or going mad, does not have the ability to heal you.

The specific healing work that I will be talking to you about in this two-part series, is cellular. It’s Quantum – it’s where spirituality and science meet as a powerhouse of healing.

Today, because I am alive and not just surviving after relationship trauma but Thriving beyond my wildest dreams, where I have zero symptoms and am healthier, happier, more confident and safer in my body and life than I have ever been, even before being abused, it’s my life’s mission to educate you about how I healed for real and how you can also.

In this series, I am sharing humble, powerful and authentic accounts from my own life, as well as those of numerous Thrivers within this Community, regarding what our experiences were and how we healed. I want to inspire you, regardless of how bad your trauma symptoms are, and even if you feel that it’s impossible to heal or that it is just too late for you.

I promise you this is just not true.

The conversation this week and next week is so that you can save your soul and life and become the powerful knock-on effect for your children and their children – and for our world.

Before we get started, thank you, everyone, who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission, and please know I love hearing from all you beautiful Thrivers and about your breakthroughs. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Okay, let’s move on in!

 

Our Disbelief In How Hard It Is To Heal

Let’s start off by examining the limited ability we have had to heal from intense trauma.

I have met some extremely rare individuals over the years who just seem to be able to ‘get over it’ and move on after terrible abuse. For me, personally, and usually for the hundreds of thousands of people I have met over the last decade, this just wasn’t possible. Generally, extreme emotional wounding and a decreased ability to function is the norm.

Those people who I have seen push the pain down, or compartmentalise it and just carry on, generally have it erupt at a later some stage of life. A very dear friend of mine, after moving on courageously without inner healing from narcissistic abuse as a child, had a breakdown years later whilst in her own loving family – when she had a daughter.

The other people I know who ‘carry on’ have generally kept experiencing reoccurring disappointing events in their outer world. Such as repeat narcissists, or the like; evidence of the shadow – the unmet unconscious trauma becoming conscious by meeting them in real life from the outside – as our shadows do.

As Buddha said, ‘If you want to know what is going on in your inner world, look at your outer world.’

Many of us, after overcoming many terrible things in our life and being able to get up and get on with it again, were shocked to discover just how impactful toxic relationship trauma is, and how it brought us, maybe for the first time ever, to a place where we couldn’t move forward anymore.

This doesn’t have to be intimate partner relationships. It could be with a family member, an authority figure, someone in your workplace, a toxic neighbour, a friend – literally anyone at all.

Regardless of what gender or religion or sexual orientation you are, your age, whether or not the person is still in your life, or even deceased, or whether the abuse happened today or 40 years ago – the trauma may still remain and be living on like a terrible, emotional virus within you.

Please know the result of narcissistic abuse is a shocking dis-ease of our entire Being that can feel unshakeable.

When I first set out to get relief from narcissistic abuse, I was dismayed at how no one had a true healing solution for me.

Doctors and psychologists told me that my Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), and many other symptoms, couldn’t be healed and that medication and strategies were needed to try to manage my symptoms. Additionally, I was horrified by so many people in abuse forums reporting their diminished health, life and victimhood.

Some of these people even spoke like this decades after their abuse.

Now, thankfully, having been on the forefront of abuse and trauma recovery for more than a decade, I have met countless people who previously reported the same thing, before, humbly, finding my Thriver Way to heal.

This is what Claire, a fellow NARP member and Thriver said, ‘Until the NARP healing system, there was literally NO help for Narcissistic abuse recovery. I went from therapist to therapist; to spiritual healers, alternative therapy; and the list goes on and on. I tried to help myself learn and understand what had happened to me through research, but no matter how much I learnt I couldn’t get well.’

So many of us who end up in narcissistic abuse recovery astoundingly may have already been doing copious amounts of work on ourselves, or already be in healing or mental health industries. I was a spiritual therapist and teacher for years prior to narcissistic abuse, and I know many of you are into studying and being practitioners of wellbeing, personal development, psychology, counselling or human care services. Yet we still found ourselves in relationships that brought us to our knees.

Why didn’t the learning, studying and therapy change our relationship patterns or take away the pain?

The answer is this: because we weren’t shown how to heal from painful relationship traumas and programs within our Inner Beings. There was not the releasing of our trauma cellularly or the reprogramming of our subconscious painful programs to create us as a New Healed Self.

 

Feeling Like A Failure When Trying To Heal

I really want to acknowledge you. Most people who experience the devastation of toxic individuals and any sort of human relationship abuse are extremely traumatised. Not only are you fighting for your mind, sanity and life, but it is also possible that your finances, security and what and who you care for are under siege too.

Let’s just make this really clear right here, right now – you being in this position is not your fault, and I want you to know that you are NOT a failure.

I know you may be feeling the awful trauma about what you have lost, the time and even years you have wasted, and the torment you’ve put yourself and others who you care about through.

Maybe you are horrified with how you can’t stop going back to the abuse, no matter how terribly you are treated.

And, you are probably in shock that your life has ended up like this – somewhere you never believed you’d be at the age that you are. Add to this, of course, all the compounding feelings of failing because you don’t seem to be getting better.

Or maybe just when you think you might be getting better, you find yourself sliding back down into a deep, dark hole again.

I can’t tell you how often before I discovered how to heal for real, that was my experience – for years.

The fact you are struggling to get healing and resolution with what you are going through is not because you aren’t a productive, high-functioning person. Most of the people I meet in this Community are far from lazy, unintelligent or incapable. They are in fact the exact opposite.

Like my previous self, you may have, after exhausting your own considerable determination and efforts, diligently consulted people who you hoped could help.

I was in psych therapy – lots of it. I was also seeing healers, dieticians, doctors, personality disordered specialists and specialised lawyers, but nothing was helping me get away, stay away, heal and move on with my life.

So many people told me to let go of him. One Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) specialist told me the outcome if I stayed was my death or institutionalisation.

Yet I couldn’t stay away.

Meanwhile, the guilt and shame of who and what my life had become was eating me alive – I completely believed I was hopeless, defective and pathetic.

But this wasn’t true. I wasn’t healing because no one knew the truth about what was really going inside me psychologically, and therefore emotionally and mentally. And nobody was addressing my healing where it needed to be addressed, at the core.

All therapy was doing was the constant reaffirming my painful victim story and how hopeless and helpless I felt.

Please know I don’t want to knock therapists; I have heard of people gaining support and comfort from them. However, this I believe with all my heart: the old models of therapy, talking about the problems and receiving medication, needs updating. And I believe this because unless we are addressing trauma at the core of where it resides, then we are only hoping to try to manage symptoms – hence why there is an ongoing need for so much therapy without any real healing result.

The effective therapists in our world now, are the ones who are working deeply with the body-brain connection and are not just attempting to manage symptoms.

Chelsea, a Community Thriver, shared this: ‘Unfortunately with the psychiatrists, therapists and psychologists I saw, all that was accomplished was similar to putting a band aid on a broken bone. It doesn’t really fix anything. However, when recovery is tackled where the real problems are rooted, the real healing begins.’

Additional to therapy, in amongst all my desperation to try to find an answer to heal, I researched abuse community forums for many hours most nights. I hoped it would help me deal with him, as well as the terrible symptoms I now had, which included severe anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia and agoraphobia as well as CPTSD.

It didn’t. The more knowledge I gained, the angrier and more devastated I got and the more obsessed about him I became. And I still couldn’t stay away.

Tina another NARP Thriver says this about her experience: ‘I kept finding more information on narcissists and the abuse, but I got tired of reading about the abuse and how bad it all was. I just wanted to get over the powerless feeling I felt. This is the secret I never had – focusing on healing ME! I am now free from the despair and happy for the first time in a very long time.’

I know that many of us in this community are spiritual. I am too. I also sought out alternative methods to heal – holistic healers and Life Coaches. I had treatments including Reiki and Crystal Healing sessions. And I was regularly doing meditation, affirmations and journaling.

These things would grant some temporary relief, but the pain and mental obsessions about him came back and still I couldn’t keep away.

I even determinedly tried Law of Attraction on me, my life and even him. But there was no way with my deterioration of health that I was able to override my inner trauma, which assaulted me 24 hours a day, by trying to just ‘think positive’.

Now I know that Law of Attraction was one of the most devastating processes I tried to do. Later I discovered that trying to mentally push through extreme subconscious survival trauma programs by forcing yourself to be ‘positive’ can almost break you into psychosis. There is such a need to first face, hold and release the trauma to make space for a new positive program.

As Bruce Lipton says, ‘If you go to battle with your subconscious and conscious minds, your subconscious will win every time.’ In fact, as I devastatingly discovered, it will make the painful program and trauma more magnified to assert itself.

Of course, this made me feel like even more of a failure.

Okay, so if you are or were like me and you have worked your butt off trying numerous ways to heal from trauma, I want you to write below: ‘This happened to me too sister!’ And maybe you would like to list what you have tried that hasn’t helped, and also share what has.

So now, today, I know the truth – the reason why I wasn’t healing wasn’t because I was a bad person, unintelligent, or broken beyond repair. It was just that no one had ever taught me about inner trauma and painful beliefs, which were hijacking 95% of my brain and nervous systems and hooking me hard onto someone who represented these unmet and unhealed places within me.

This was not my fault. I logically never chose it and I logically had no control over it. These toxic binds were being driven by forces much more powerful than my conscious self. Will power was useless in the face of this – as was mere information and strategies.

What was needed was a deep, cellular shift directly in the core of where these deep powerful forces were playing out. And when I achieved that, I promise you none of my powerless, enmeshed, addicted, victimised self remained. And all my trauma dis-ease and symptoms completely left me. I am healed and whole and free of all of them, and have been for a long time.

Please know if this has been your struggle too, it doesn’t mean that you can’t heal and that you are doomed to suffer these terrible traumas, battling your symptoms indefinitely or for life – it just means that you haven’t, just like I hadn’t at this stage, understood the truth yet.

 

The Real Truth About Healing

I really want you to know what contemporary medicine and abuse forums say that is not the truth. They are telling you that you are sentenced to struggle with abuse symptoms and a diminished life. With all my heart I promise you this is NOT true.

It is totally NOT true that CPTSD, agoraphobia, adrenal malfunction or fibromyalgia are unhealable conditions that you will have for life; and that you will need constant medication and therapy. What is true is that when you find and release the traumas from your subconscious – which is generating these conditions – they simply melt away.

A Thriver member called PP shares this: ‘As a result of my abusive relationship, I acquired fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, osteoporosis, bruxism, insomnia and sleep deprivation, and then some. The Thriver healing system is the only one I have found that addresses the inner energetic component and effects of narcissistic abuse. Without this Program I doubt whether a person could ever fully recover and truly make the turnaround from survivor to Thriver. This is exactly the healing and approach I have needed for so long.’ Myself and tens of thousands of people in this Community are living proof of this.

Now let’s look at the science behind why subconscious healing systems works.

 

What Neuro-Science Has Now Discovered

I love what the scientific community is now proving regarding trauma and the body-brain connection, because it completely backs and supports the Thriver Recovery process.

Bessel Van Der Kolt, a Dutch Psychiatrist who is a forefront expert on the understanding of trauma, states that the logical part of our brain doesn’t have the ability to communicate with our brain’s limbic and internal nervous systems, where our trauma experiences reside, and therefore talk therapy is ineffectual to deal with it. It’s only through taking our attention within to our visceral emotional experience that we can hope to overcome trauma.

The starting point focus of the Thriver Way to heal is self-partnering. Every healing takes you into your inner world in theta brainwaves to bypass your logical brain and enter your subconscious, visceral feelings and internal programs.

Then the healing work is done with processes that communicate directly with your subconscious – your cellular inner self.

I want you to imagine this analogy: you are looking at a closed car hood and trying to imagine what the mechanical problem is that is going on inside the engine.

If you don’t go inside, firstly you will never know what the real issue is – you are only guessing. And secondly, if you don’t go inside you will never fix your ‘self’ and the problem will remain.

Regarding our trauma, talking, thinking and researching amounts to exactly this – lots of contention and absolutely no healing.

Bruce Lipton is an internationally recognised cellular biologist and bestselling author. He explains that as adults, our life is already programmed by our previous emotional experiences that generated belief systems in relation to these.

Bruce says that by the time we are around 35 years of age, our logical mind has only a 5% capacity of changing who we are, therefore regardless of how much we learn, research or talk about our life, we don’t break out of the patterns which aren’t serving us. Only going inward to reprogram our subconscious, which is in control of 95% of our life, does this.

He also explains that our subconscious programs control 40 billion bits per second of information that we process in relation to our life experiences, whereas our logical mind processes a teeny 40 bits per second. This is why it is impossible to think our way out of our painful emotional experiences, which are generating our feelings, thoughts and choices as well as who and what we connect to and stay attached to.

If, for example, we have painful internal trauma that has generated the subconscious belief, ‘People I love hurt me, leave me, replace me, betray me (the list of course may go on)’, these are the people and experiences we continue to make true in our life with the power of 95% of our Being directing this – no matter what we try to think and learn.

In Part Two of this series, I will share with you how I was given the codes and the ways through an information download – how to access the subconscious, find these traumas and associated beliefs, load them up and release them. Our logical mind has no ability or way to do this.

You will learn also how we can change our emotional programs directly at our core, often instantly, so that we are no longer the Old Self operating from the Old Program. Instead we are freed onto the trajectory of more empowered, whole and conscious reactions and decisions that do serve us.

Joe Dispenza is a scientist and researcher on the leading edge of neuroscience, epigenetics and quantum physics. He teaches us that our brain follows our body – meaning our mind thinks in alignment with our inner subconscious programs and does not have access to a healthier path until we create a shift on the inside of ourselves.

Therefore, once we change our inner subconscious programs, how we think, which is our level of consciousness, will automatically reflect this.

One of the most powerful ways I have found to produce a shift is to enlist a Higher Power force to fill the space where the released trauma once was.

If we were just to release trauma, then in its place we would have an emptiness; a bewilderment about who we are and what is next in our lives. Yet when we fill the space where the trauma was with our SuperConscious, then we have the best teacher embodied within us.

We literally become Infinite intelligence which knows how to be for the greater good, firstly for self and then as an outflow, benefitting all of life and others in divine, powerful, yet graceful and healthy ways.

You may think of this as your Higher Power (whatever your Higher Power means to you). To you this may be God, or The Universe or Creation or even Lifeforce.

This Higher Self element is what many contemporary and even some energetic healing processes miss, and it’s one that many Quantum Healers do enlist. Honestly, I don’t believe we have any ability to heal the unthinkable – which is what narcissistic abuse truly is – unless we pull on a force, this Infinite, which does this so powerfully.

This Higher Self aspect – to midwife a shift from the Old Self into your True Self to help bring through the breakdown of the Old Order to the breakthrough of your highest potential New Order in record time, with maximum potency – is a big part of my healing process and occurs multiple times in every healing that you do in NARP.

This is what Lakiira said about this, ‘During the first healing, it felt like magic but it’s science. I knew that I was touching on something spiritual and a Higher Power was involved, because the feeling of emptiness I had always felt had shifted. I was coming home to myself. I believe 100% in the power of Quantum Healing, and I hope everyone can be free from emotional trauma by opening up to receive this energy and love.’

Okay, so I’m going to leave this very important discussion here at this point. I think we have had enough to feel into and talk about for now.

As well as what I mentioned before, next week we are going to investigate the Science of the Observer Effect, Quantum Consciousness, the truth about our genes and our ability to create ourselves and our Life anew, even from severe trauma symptoms and even if trauma is all we have ever known.

I’m also going to share with you the three specific Quantum keys I discovered to achieve full Thriver Healing status and my experiences when channelling, creating and applying Quanta Freedom Healing.

Please know if you don’t want to wait until next week and want to dive on in and start ‘going Quantum’, you can do so by clicking this link.  My free 16-day course will explain so much to you – things that will make perfect sense about your healing journey.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

So, thank you for your presence and attention regarding this fascinating Quantum Healing conversation. I can’t wait to share the conclusion of this series with you next week.

As always, I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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How Childhood Trauma Makes Us Susceptible to Narcissists

How Childhood Trauma Makes Us Susceptible to Narcissists

 

Over the years, so many people have asked me this: ‘Did my childhood have anything to do with me being narcissistically abused as an adult?’

You may have made the link between a painful childhood and sustaining narcissistic abuse as an adult. Maybe abuse is all you have ever known.

Or maybe there was something more subtle going on that made you susceptible to narcissists – without you even understanding what that could possibly be.

In today’s VERY IMPORTANT Thriver TV episode, I want to help you understand vital physiological truths about how your ability to deal with stresses was formed as a child; how this may have been compromised and what that has to do with sustaining trauma as an adult.

I know this is going to answer some very important questions for you – as well as allow you to learn how to heal for REAL from these fractures and traumas today.

 

 

Video Transcript

So many people ask me often, ‘Has my childhood contributed to me being narcissistically abused?’

The answerer is a resounding ‘Yes’.

Is it enough to know this to get out of the horrors of narcissistic abuse? It’s a starting point but not the complete answer. True healing and solution can only come from rectifying the traumatic emotional inner imprints of our childhood. Because then we can have a solid and healthy Inner Identity which is no longer susceptible to abuse.

Today, in this very important Thriver TV episode, you will understand how your childhood has set you up for abuse and also how to heal for real, even if healthy relationships, love and connection have never been modelled for you.

Okay, so before we get started I want to remind you that if you haven’t yet subscribed to my channel please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Today there is so much I could cover, but I want to address the most important points. This is vital because I believe that we could spend decades in therapy without a result if we don’t just cut straight to the chase.

I have done episodes on narcissistic parenting before and I will share these resources with this video, but today I want to talk especially about our impaired emotional development as children and how this has lined us up for narcissistic abuse – as well as how to heal it for real.

Before I explain the trauma received in our childhoods, let’s just lay some foundational understandings about trauma.

What Is Trauma?

Trauma is the inability to deal with a certain stressful situation, which causes feeling overwhelmed and powerless.

Trauma, in short, is not being able to process difficult emotions to completion and then enact the solution. This is when trauma is internalised and has a life of its own inside our brain and nervous systems. It impacts our emotions, our thinking and often every part of our life.

Please understand the trauma centres and functions of your brain that deal with stresses are in your right-brain section. Trauma is generated within your emotional and nervous systems centres and therefore is stored in and affects your body.

When we are in tune with our Beings, we know how true this is. What I mean by this is that when you receive a trigger relating to an unhealed trauma you feel the ‘pang’ in your body. It may be a heaviness, a feeling of butterflies in your stomach, a shock of ‘cold ice’ through your veins, or you may start sweating and shaking. All sorts of processes start firing off in your body, including the urge to flee, react into defences (fight) or even shut done where you literally can’t think, answer or even move (freeze).

These are all right brain, instinctual functions; survival mechanisms that fire up when wise, clear and ‘safe’ problem-solving centres within your nervous system and brain are not on-line.

Unresolved stresses become traumas.

Stresses occur in life and will always be a part of our everyday life, forever. Whether or not they take us down and out into trauma depends on how we deal with them. A life of CPTSD (Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and anxiety and depression and powerlessness (victimhood) versus continually up-levelling ourselves and situations into more and more opportunity, growth and joy, evolution and greater interconnectedness with ourselves, life and others (powerful-ness).

The ability to do this depends on how healthily the emotional centres of our right brain and our nervous systems are functioning.

One of the gravest mistakes we can make regarding trying to regulate and manage our trauma is thinking that the answer is cognitive. It isn’t – in fact our left-brain logical functions can’t communicate with our right brain. They don’t help us process trauma through to completion and they don’t assist in developing these centres to deal with challenges and stresses effectively.

Truly, left-brain interception only invalidates and injures the right-side trauma centres even more – as you will discover later in this episode.

The Vital Understanding of What Trauma Does

Trauma is the culprit through and through.

If we have received trauma that has impacted us, it not only affects our brain and our entire nervous system, it also creates embedded belief systems that form our Inner Identity.

These traumatic beliefs become our reality and we can easily remain a victim to them – because they become self-fulfilling prophecies that keep us replaying the same traumatic patterns and disappointments over and over again, despite how hard we may try to avoid them. This is absolutely the case with narcissistic abuse when we find ourselves stuck in grave, and even life-threatening, trauma that is tearing us apart. Even though we know it is shocking and extremely bad for us we can feel powerless to let go.

Trauma does this – we feel like we have no voice or rights and that there is nobody dependable to step in and be the buffer, protect and help. We feel alone, isolated and confused.
Powerlessness takes over.

In our helplessness with trauma, the shame and guilt of not being able to cope is overwhelming; we don’t believe we are good enough or capable enough or strong enough to have a solution. Often we blame ourselves from the problems and stay connected to the narcissist, trying to fix things or be ‘better’ no matter what is happening to us. We feel defective and damaged and ‘wrong’.

This is why it’s important to understand what happened in your childhood to set you up for this and how it is not your fault. One of my greatest wishes for this TTV episode is to let you know that you are NOT defective, no matter how much you may feel like you are. What has happened to you is the ‘normal’ consequences of unconscious parenting, which sadly has been a product of parenting in our former generations. No-one taught anyone better!

Let’s have a look at what happened to us as children.

How Trauma Occurred as Children

Firstly, I want to start off by being very clear about one very important thing – this episode is in no way about blaming our parents. And I really mean that because no matter what they did and how they behaved, they were also a product of trauma – the way they were parented and the levels of trauma that preceded them in their families.

Once you understand this, you will realise how the feeling and emotional centres of our brain are formed and therefore appreciate the capacity each and every human being, including abusers, has in relation to relating to themselves, life and others.

Okay, let’s start right from the beginning – disappointments, challenges, and threats begin as a very small child.

These include being hungry and requiring food; hurting oneself or being scared and needing comfort; or feeling physically distressed and requiring restoration such as in the changing of a soiled diaper. Little children are completely codependent on a stable caregiver granting survival necessities as well as emotional comfort when in need.

If we have a present caregiver, who models safety and comfort for us, then the parts of our right-brain, which is the first side of our brain to develop when we are little, and our connected nervous systems can start to form healthily.

These are our emotional and social centres responsible for developing our beliefs about ourselves, our place in the world and other human beings. This healthy development is essential to having a solid and whole Core Identity.

I want you to understand that the ‘presence’ of a stable caregiver is imperative for the development of our right-brain emotional centres, so as to instil in us the vital ingredients of love, comfort and safety. This has to be ‘age appropriate’ to the child. We have to ‘feel’ the connection somatically in our Being for it to be real for us.

Logical action and provisions and purely ‘adult’ reactions do not translate to right-brain communication.

‘Come on snap out of it!’ to a small distressed child is never going to provide the comfort and healing that a heart-to-heart cuddle and soft cooing will. In fact, it is only going to compound the trauma of feeling ‘unsafe and unsupported’ even more.

To reach and soothe the compromised emotional centres, the input has to be things like caring physical touch and heartfelt words and sounds. Trauma is created from emotional sensory input that registers in the right brain, and the resolution can only come through the physical and emotional senses – the body being an effective way to deliver this.

I have had so many clients and NARP members over the years who, when I talk to them about the necessity to heal core trauma, say to me, ‘My parents were awesome, they always encouraged me and supported me in everything I wanted to do.’

My questions in response to this are, ‘Did they have time to just be with you, hold you in times of need, look you in the eyes and tell you how much they loved you? Could you confide in your parents and have them hear you and be there for you? Would they listen, allow you to be you and let you know how special you are?’

Yes, of course children need boundaries, to learn limits and how to handle disappointment, and to experience cause and effect (personal responsibility), but unless they know they are loved and valuable for who they are, then the emotional centres responsible for self-worth, self-love, self-value and resilience to challenges are seriously compromised.

I know your parents may have been terribly busy in survival mode, most of ours were, either practically or trying to deal with their own trauma. Could they be right-brain present with us so that our own right brain could develop properly?

Probably not.

Now, here’s the thing – right brain and nervous system centres begin forming when we are a foetus in utero. It is now scientifically proven that the mother’s emotional state and her ability to regulate her own emotions is a big contributor to how a child’s right brain centres start developing. If she is stressed without her own resources to integrate these stresses to completion, this directly compromises the child’s right-brain formation.

But the plot thickens and deepens even more, because the scientific study of epigenetics now tells us that the ability of certain genes to switch on or off is inherited. If we have come from ancestors who suffered trauma, then the parts of our right brain that could handle stress effectively for us may be shut down from birth. We may have over-formed, hyper-aroused centres and amygdalae, meaning rather than anchoring into our Core Identity to deal with stresses (which is the centre for our personal power), we will dissociate from our own Being, look outwards and get hooked into trying to control the uncontrollable (which is anything and anyone that is not us).

All of this brings in increased fractures within and without our lives – meaning more trauma and more traumatic events.

How Disassociation in Childhood Leads to Ongoing Trauma

If we didn’t have a functioning developed Core Identity (dependent on right brain and nervous system health), then we were carrying trauma after trauma because we had limited ability to integrate stresses to completion.

The biggest traumas to have impacted us as children were not the disappointments, frights, lack of safety or discomfort that we experienced – they were the traumas we experienced because a safe, functional caretaker did not show up to help us integrate these things back to calm and safety.

As children, we simply did not have the developed inner-resource centres to do this for ourselves, and therefore it became too traumatising to be ‘ourselves’, alone with these unresolved feelings inside of us – it was far too overwhelming. Then shame and guilt joined in, as well as self-blame for having painful emotions and possibly for causing angst or disruption to our parents for expressing them.

We learned it was wrong to feel. We disengaged from our bodies and from our emotions to survive. We checked out and zoned out – we self-medicated our feelings away with fantasy, distractions and even addictive and self-compulsive behaviours.

As we were growing up, rather than becoming more developed in our right brain, which is our connection and gateway to Self, Life, others and our Higher Power (True Source), we became more reliant on our left brain, which is not the master or healer of our right brain.

In fact, the left brain follows the body – it is ruled by the painful and fractured right brain beliefs we have about certain topics. Our left brain will agree with these beliefs and grant us all the excuses and justifications to bring these painful beliefs to fruition.

This is where the traumatic self-fulfilling prophecies that were established in childhood come into play. It’s so important to understand that trauma affects every part of the brain, both left and right.

Let’s say that when we were young no one was there for us to know in a right-brain way that we were supported and protected. We grew up believing ‘It’s up to me. No one is there for me.’ The result is that we will continually connect to people who we co-generate lack of support with – by rejecting any genuine support offered and trying fruitlessly to get it from people who are unavailable to give it.

Then we say, ‘See I’m right!’

Of course, all this is unconscious! Until we wake up and start healing and integrating and coming out of the self-generative trance, we believe that this is happening ‘to’ us rather than ‘through’ us.

The same goes for the traumatic beliefs about things like ‘People who are supposed to love me aren’t interested in me’. And even with tons of cognitive therapy and awareness of this, we may still connect with people who are ‘apparently’ recovering workaholics or who have been in therapy for previous adultery. We believe them to be healed, even though they still act out high-risk behaviours. And then we experience ‘being unimportant and discarded’ again.

The fuel to ‘be’ with people and situations who represents ongoing trauma comes from the right-brain, pre-programmed belief systems we established in our childhood which is then supplemented by the elaborate ideas and justifications that our left brain makes up to follow these beliefs – regardless of what we try to think and formulate.

This all happens because we are not healed and integrated or anchored to inner core truths and values in our body. We are dissociative. We are not yet safe to ‘be’ in our body.

Until we resolve our core trauma through our nervous systems, cells in our body and our right brain, and are able to be self-partnered in our body, this is the sad reality and the prison that we can be continually stuck in – and understandably it makes our trauma pile even bigger.

It makes it even harder to ‘be’ with ourselves – present in real time, in our own Being. We disassociate even more – to the point where we may not be able to feel anything except the rushes of our trauma, which are possibly now being triggered off randomly and continually within us.

This is exactly what Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is. We may believe it is to do with what has happened to us, however, the truth about this chronic reoccurring and ever-constant unsafe feeling is that we are NOT home within.

When we aren’t self-partnered, we are not in touch with Who We Are or what is or isn’t healthy for us. We don’t have access to our True Self power – we are a Being without a compass or rudder being tossed around mercilessly by Life.

This makes us highly susceptible to narcissists – beings who are highly exploitative, manipulative and pathological who pretend to be the person we need for us to feel safe and loved while using our disconnection with ourselves to mine our energy, life-force and resources.

When we awaken, we realise that the answer to all of this is NOT to try to control, research and monitor things and people outside of us or to keep believing and fuelling the self-fulfilling prophecies that our emotional centres keep playing out incredibly convincingly. The only remedy comes from waking up to the truth and turning inwards to do the necessary inner work to repair – where it needs it be repaired – at our Core.

The True Solution to Our Childhood Trauma and Ongoing Adult Trauma

Have I explained to you enough that the issue, the seat of this, is to do with your right-brain and nervous system?

I hope so, because this is where so many people go horribly wrong – trying to heal and restore themselves with left-brain tactics.

Your healing is going to be no more effective with research, cognitive therapy, investigating and learning, than your right-brain development was as a child when being told to ‘Snap out of it!’

I have found that the solution is turning inwards to your feelings, connecting with your Inner Self, experiencing shifts of trauma releasing, which are performed through direct visualisation, and then somatically feeling the subsequent healing.

These are all strategies that communicate with your right brain and nervous system, and start releasing the fractures and healing these centres back to wholeness.

The greatest minds in neuroscience and trauma recovery now understand that bodywork is key – that it’s through movement, feeling adaptation and sensory input that the right brain shifts, releases and integrates trauma so that people can finally feel resolved, safe and at home in their bodies.

Speaking from total personal experience – the entire success of our life is about being safe and whole in our own body. Without that we are constantly in trauma trying to survive ourselves, life and others.

I’ve lived both ways and I promise you the difference between them is heaven and hell.

Your greatest mission to get your life right is to be whole in your body. Everything else will come from there.

The startling thing that completely astounded me when I started healing myself from the inside out – at my Core Identity – was that I didn’t have to try to learn how to manage my trauma anymore. It was simply gone. I also didn’t have to learn how to be different for my life to work, or even how to love and accept myself.

When I effectively released trauma from within, these things organically came on line without me trying to learn anything.

This was a far cry from my previous belief that the best I could ever expect after a complete adrenal and psychotic breakdown (due to extreme trauma overload) was a lifetime of ongoing therapy and drugs to try to survive and manage my trauma.

Until Quanta Freedom Healing, which I developed as my right-brain/nervous system super-healing tool, I hadn’t realised the incredible Higher Power organism that we are and the ability we have to repair ourselves when we release our trauma and fill where it was with Source, through specific visualisations that evoke specific feelings.

I didn’t realise that we have the power to simply come back on-line and re-member and be-come Who We Already Are.

This is where science and spirituality come together as a powerhouse of healing. When you work with the physiological facts as well as enlist a Higher Power that can heal what we logically can’t and connect to it in a somatic, right-brain way, everything heals and becomes more whole than you have ever known it to be.

The new science of epigenetics teaches us this: if we change the environment, which is ourselves, then we can completely change our genes and our life – beyond recognition.

This is what I’m talking about – and what myself and so many people in this community are living. You need to know, to heal your right brain effectively you can’t just keep reading articles or watching YouTube; you have to start the real inner healing work.

And I’d love you to let me show you how, gently, safely and powerfully, by clicking this link.

I really hope this episode has helped you.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

And, as always, I am so looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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The Soul Graduation of Narcissistic Abuse

The Soul Graduation of Narcissistic Abuse

 

People can experience STUNNING results after narcissistic abuse where not only do they survive and rebuild from the depths of despair, they also claim true joy, purpose, abundance, love, expansion and confidence…and to a far greater extent than before suffering abuse, even when abuse is all that they have ever known.

Is this a fluke or have they discovered a magic potion? How is this even possible?  Maybe these are questions that you are asking yourself.

In today’s Thriver TV I am going to take you through the answer –  Soul Graduation – by explaining what it is, how you can access it, and how by accepting the truth of it and claiming it you will not only break free from the pain of what you have suffered, but will also start to live as your True Self creating your True Life.

 

 

Video Transcript

What does a Soul Graduation mean?

It means we haven’t just saved our lives – it means, literally, we have saved our souls.

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I am going to explain to you what a Soul Graduation is, how to take it, and how it will grant you, virtually on a silver plate, the Life you had always wanted – the Life of your dreams.

Many of us know the nicest people in the world have been narcissistically abused. You deserve an incredible life – not the horrible things you have been through. Today, make sure you watch this full episode because I am going to explain the Life compensation that awaits you and how to take it with both hands.

Okay, so before we get started, I want to remind you that if you haven’t yet subscribed to my channel please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Now let’s get going…

 

The Force Pushing Us to Graduate

Narcissistic abuse is agonising; it brings us to our knees. And when it does, we are shocked to discover that we can’t seem to think our way out of it – the terrorised feelings, heartbreak and obsessing about what has happened to us.

We can’t just get on with it as we have before. Willpower and determination just doesn’t seem to cut it, and we are shocked about this because in the past we used to pride ourselves on our tenacity. When we reach inside to try to harness our usual formidable resources, it’s like our spirit is missing; our soul is shattered and there is no hope, drive, inspiration or interest, or maybe even health, to continue with. I understand this; I’ve been there. I was there in the bottom of that black pit, like so many of you have been or possibly still are. My heart goes out to you if you are there, because unless you have been through it no-one could even begin to imagine what it feels like.

We really only have two choices: we stay as victims, having a diminished life for the rest of our life, or we take the Thriver path and say, ‘NO! There has to be more than this!’

And there is more – it’s a Soul Graduation. Taking your Soul Graduation means we don’t just go through a mere ‘survivor’ recovery, where we are often stuck with the trauma symptoms of abuse for the rest of our Life – PTSD, agoraphobia, fibromyalgia, adrenal fatigue, and things like premature aging and progressively reduced health, as well as limited ability to trust, connect, love, generate financial freedom and abundance and a greatly compromised ability to experience lasting and durable joy and expansion.

However, if we take our Soul Graduation we became healthier, younger, more confident, loving and connected to ourselves, life and others than we were even before abuse. We start to connect to our True Life of grand love, purpose, possibilities, miracles, aspirations, joy and fulfilment – more so than we ever believed in our wildest dreams was possible.

We feel safer and more at home in our bodies and on this planet than we ever have – without fear and defences – which is a huge accomplishment from our previous selves. We become Grace-full and Power-full simultaneously – such is the freedom of Soul Graduation.

Okay, so, I want to ask you these questions.

  • Do you want to feel free of anxiety, depression and pain – even more so than you ever remember feeling?
  • Do you want to be able to regenerate your life in powerful, joyous and loving ways without the fear of being devastated and destroyed again?
  • Do you want to finally be free of all your limitations and to expand into life truly as yourself, living your highest calling, your true A-life, whilst sharing your unique self with the world?

If you do, this video is for you – because I don’t know of any bigger springboard to achieve these things from than from narcissistic abuse.

I personally always wanted these things all my life, and I applied myself to masses of personal development for decades to try to achieve them. It didn’t work – what did work was healing for real from narcissistic abuse.

And I know why it worked – because finally I turned inwards to take my Soul Graduation.

Narcissistic Abuse is a make or break deal.

We evolve or dissolve.

We integrate or disintegrate.

We are submerged in the bowels of hell into such darkness that the only way out is to release our trauma and fill ourselves with profound Light where that trauma was.

How do I know this to be true? Because against all odds I chose to actualise and received my Soul Graduation, and I have been honoured to see so many others achieve this too.

We did this by turning inwards to self-partner and meet our traumas within with an energetic healing process that accesses our subconscious traumas, loads them up, lets them go and brings in Source – our superconscious Higher Self – to fill up where those traumas once where.

This shifted us from the Old Self and fearful painful programs, to our True Self who knows how to be whole and healthily connected to life – organically.

Quanta Freedom Healing is the subconscious super-tool in NARP that myself and many Thrivers in this community have used to load up and release the previous inner traumas that were eating us alive. These were emotional wounds stuck in our Inner Beings that no amount of logical thinking could heal, integrate or let go of.

And god knows, before using Quanta Freedom Healing we tried!

 

What Does Our Soul Graduation Produce?

Your Soul Graduation allows you to be released from the emotional pain that is tearing you up. This is, ironically, the very same emotional agony that is pushing you to take the graduation. The trauma is the signal to self-partner, meet and release Self from those inner parts that are not your True Self, so that all else can follow.

The state must precede the event, which means that when we deal with our Inner Universe (our emotional inner composition) the Outer Universe that we are intrinsically connected to must shift as well – it is Quantum Law.

This means we have graduated past ‘that level’ of people/events/occurrences in our Life and our Being now has access to higher levels of existence than the ones we were previously experiencing our life at.

Let me explain in a deeper way with an example. Let’s say that you had unhealed traumas from your epigenetic, past-life and childhood history of ‘the people who love me abandon me’.

Because this is a strong emotional charge and therefore a subconscious program that connects the topic of ‘love’ as a TRUTH for you, you will try to logically choose people who are available to love you healthily, yet your subconscious pre-programed ‘love code’ is stuck onto the painful truth, like a heat-seeking missile locked onto a target.

Therefore you will unconsciously collude again (and again) to connect with people who are highly suspect of doing this, and you make all sorts of justifications and excuses for being with them (which we TOTALLY believe to be real excuses when we are stuck in emotional subconscious programs that our brains are wired to fulfil no matter what). Each time you do this you have the exact trauma ripped open again, as well as other previously unhealed epigenetic, past-life, childhood and adult accumulated wounds.

Then you have even more trauma connected to this belief/subconscious program, which gives it a greater force to live on inside of you and keep playing out to the letter, no matter what you do to logically try to change it.

Taking a Soul Graduation halts the vicious circle by waking us up, and this is the consciousness that we awaken into:

  • Our entire purpose here is to take back our God-like Creator Self – meaning that we have the ability to be the generative source of our own experience regardless of what others are or aren’t doing.
  • Ceasing thinking that life is happening to us and realising that life is happening through us.
  • Understanding we cannot be unconsciously participating in and experiencing a trauma unless we have the matching trauma already programmed within us.
  • Realising that having unresolved previous trauma means we are carrying this susceptibility, and if it is powerful and emotionally charged enough we are a continual target for that same trauma reappearing in our experience.
  • If we release trauma from our being and reprogram our subconscious programs back to our organic True Self state (which is Who We Are without trauma trapped inside), then the people and situations that were delivering ‘more’ of the same trauma must and will dissolve out of our experience – it’s Quantum Law.
  • All of Existence and Life is positioned for our Soul Graduation and is rooting for us to break free into the highest and truest expression of ourselves, and blesses us with wisdom, inspiration, love, possibility and miracle every time we let go of trauma and make space for Source to enter us as us.
  • We are not here to suffer. We are here to claim our Soul Graduation and be exalted, despite what it all looks like.

 

How Do We Deny Our Own Soul Graduation?

This is how we know if we are still stuck in our painful Love Codes – we continue to feel like a victim. If we can still feel inside us the trauma of other people hurting us, abusing us, punishing us, annihilating us, not showing up to love us healthily – or whatever else it might be – it is because we have not yet healed beyond this hurt. It means we still have the existing trauma wedged within us.

We may feel like we are ‘unsafe in the world’ or ‘it is not safe to be ourselves’ – many people who have suffered horrific relationships and narcissists absolutely have these entrenched inner programs playing out. I was one of these people, and these beliefs were very impactful for me.

I know I used to believe, as so many of us have done, that it is impossible to heal from past emotional devastation – and that it will live on within us forever and we can only hope to somehow manage this trauma.

However, with every cell of my being and fibre in my heart I want you to know this is NOT true – with Quanta Freedom Healing (you may have heard many people in this community bang on about the effectiveness of NARP!), you can totally purge the trauma from your cells and Inner Being and live without it – because it simply isn’t there anymore!

That is the reality Thrivers live by.

Many people may view ‘taking our Soul Graduation’ as victim blaming and allowing abusers the easy way out by not holding them accountable. This is not true. I have seen more abusers come into accountability than ever before, when people take their Soul Graduation. This is because when we are healed, healthy and solid, toxic people no longer have power over us. We have the strength to go in and fight the good fight for both our Self and our rights without our traumas derailing us and granting them the bullets to keep abusing us with.

Some people also get very upset about personal healing responsibility and taking our power back in relation to young children being traumatised and powerless against abusive adults. Absolutely this is true. Children are powerless to heal and help themselves. Many of us in this community suffered abuse and unconscious parenting as children. A huge proportion of the population in our generations and previous ones suffered significant, and even unspeakable, abuse at ages where they were powerless to take action, have boundaries or hold abusers accountable.

However, as adults, if the trauma is still trapped in our body, waiting for others to fix us is fruitless. And as adults, when we do turn inwards to heal what we discover – as myself and so many others have – is that deep within our beings are terrible human accumulated traumas that, as well as traumas from our childhood, we have been carrying from the collective, possibly our gender, race, ancestors, and our past lives.

We also begin to understand organically as trauma leaves and bigger picture truths arise within, that the unconditional Universe Quantum Law of ‘so within, so without’ was in the families we arrived into, matching us up with the continuation of our already existing predisposed traumas that we were born with.

If we wish to stop the patterns, there is only one way to do so – create a change within our Inner Beings to become the change that we seek to live.

Then not only do we put an end to abuse patterns in our lives, we also choose different partners to cogenerate parenting with for our future children, and/or we impact and heal our children who have already experienced abuse – by leading the way for them – which is essential.

And then we send out a ripple effect of healing for our existing and future generations. We are not just healing ourselves, we are helping heal humanity.

In stark contrast, if we stand for victimisation and righteously believe abused children need to grow up to become aggrieved adults, we will not generate a healing change. Rather, we stay firmly wedged in the pain, fear and judgement that keeps the abuse/abused cycles going.

How do children of victimised parents grow up? Either as victims or perpetrators – it is two sides of the same coin.

Only being actively responsible for our own Soul Graduations, one person at a time, can free ourselves and our world from this.

 

Graduation In Real Time

A true Soul Graduation is a two-part process. The first is changing ourselves on an Inner Level to be different regarding a particular topic – when we release the painful trauma around a topic then there is no more pain regarding it. We start to think completely differently about it – because our brain’s neuro wiring organises itself around our subconscious inner programs – the brain follows the body, always.

This means wisdom, acceptance, hope, inspiration and even joy and excitement concerning this topic replaces where fear, pain and confusion once reigned.

This means that once you have done the appropriate inner NARP work, no longer will you believe you are ‘not enough’, ‘incapable of getting love right’, ‘unable to speak up when in need’, ‘unsafe in the face of a toxic other’, and the list goes on and one. And the crazy good thing is that you didn’t have to LEARN anything to get there. When you bring in Source to where the trauma once was, you shift into BEING the change you seek.

Then the real thing can come.

Be it and it comes. That is what be-come means.

Yet, there is second essential step to a Soul Graduation – to be prepared to meet the topic and do it differently in real time.

Life is forever generous and completely supportive of your Soul Graduation, granting you everything you need to fully get your certificate, which is access the next highest level to your True Self and dreams.

Let me be really clear with you… When I hear that people are TERRIFIED of being in the company of a narcissist; are not willing to speak up; are not able to be truthful, direct or have the difficult conversations and shirk the responsibility of laying boundaries and doing ‘the right thing’ to honour their True Self, which before the inner shift is usually the VERY thing we are most terrified to do – I know that not only are they nowhere near their Soul Graduation, they are doomed to keep living painful patterns over and over and over again. This is because Life is never going to give up on them and will grant as much pain necessary to give them the opportunity to go within, shift out trauma, bring in Source and be-come different and then DO differently in real time.

What does that look like?

It looks like and is saying, ‘Bring it on!’ to:

  • Narcissists showing up in your path so that you can be fully yourself without handing power away, dimming down, hiding, running away or getting hooked in.
  • People crossing your boundaries so that you can speak up and place limits, and be willing to lose it all to get it all.
  • Life pushing you to the next level, by not shifting until you do the necessary act of courage; show commitment to Self, and self-love and respect to live aligned with your soul truth and values, regardless of what anyone else is or isn’t doing.
  • Dependencies that you thought were your Identity breaking down so that you are forced to value and come home to yourself – to start generating your True Self and True Life powerfully.

When you know that all of Life is granting you everything you need for your Soul Graduation, then you will accept it with both hands and a loving grateful heart. You will be awake and excited and punching the air with joy at the results you achieve by showing up and doing the thing you most need to do, because you start to be free of fear and pain and able to fully be yourself in Life.

When you reach this level of joy and wonder and growth, then you will see exactly what Life will grant you – more joy, wonder and growth – in the most stunning abundance and glory you could ever imagine.

This is Soul Graduation – experiencing that when you are no longer fearful of walking under ladders then all ladders will be removed from your path. The almighty cogs of Creation itself say, ‘You Graduated, you have passed go, you blitzed that level, now you are released into the next Higher One that is filled with abundance and blessings for you.’

Do you want this?

If so, Thrivers write below, ‘I am shifting my fear OUT and walking under ladders NOW!

Okay, so the ‘shifting’ part is what makes the doing so much easier and more powerful. I would love to show you how this can be your reality by you learning about NARP and my Thriver healing techniques in my free 16-day course and free workshop. You can do so by clicking this link.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

And, as always, I look SO forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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The Pain of Narcissistic Abuse Won’t End Until You Do This

The Pain of Narcissistic Abuse Won’t End Until You Do This

 

Is there any greater devastation than narcissistic abuse?

Many of us would say ABSOLUTELY not.

Is there an end to the agony?

Again, many people will tell you it takes a LOT of effort and time, and for many relief and healing doesn’t ever happen.

I really want you to know this isn’t true…

If you understand and start doing the things that I outline in today’s Thriver TV episode, the pain WILL end … in faster and more incredible ways that you could ever imagine.

 

Video Transcript

Narcissistic abuse is agonising, and I think we can all agree that it is the worst thing we can imagine going through.

How do we end such horrific, unliveable, unthinkable trauma?

Many people will tell you that you can’t get out of the pain either quickly or easily, even if you do get away from a narcissist. And they tell you that it could take you years, if not decades, to try to recover.

I’m here to tell you that this is NOT true.

If you are in the terrible trauma of narcissistic abuse, no matter what it is that you are feeling, have lost or how old you are, I want you to know more than anything that there is a way out of the pain, and not just into mere survival of what you have been through – but truly a transcendence into the Thriving that your soul always intended you to live.

Today I’m going to show you how to connect to that soul truth.

I am a living example of how to do this. With narcissistic number one, it took me a gruelling 18 months after finally leaving to get out of the minute-to-minute and sometimes second-to-second agony of feeling like I had a terrifying, agonising virus; a virus living inside of me that continually sucked my life force and made living virtually unbearable.

I’m not alone – I know you know exactly what I am talking about.

And the torment only stopped because finally I had the answers regarding how to heal.

Then with narcissist number two it took me only three days to detox him and the agony of what I had been through.

It was different this time, because right from the get-go I knew exactly how to do it.

It breaks my heart every time I hear people say, ‘It takes time; it’s a long, hard journey to heal’ or any of the many other limiting beliefs and things we have accepted as true about abuse recovery.

It breaks my heart because I know it doesn’t have to be this way.

 

The Starting Point To Getting Your Life Back

To be ready for this information you need to want to get better. People say, ‘Of course I want to get better’, yet really when we delve deeply inside ourselves maybe we haven’t had enough of the pain. I know for a long time I wanted to hang on to my victimisation. I can’t speak for you – even though over the last ten years I have worked with thousands of people to help them get better in ways that they thought weren’t even possible. But I will speak from my own experience.

It wasn’t until a consciousness shift that I was even near the goals of recovery, let alone on the field.

It wasn’t until I had had enough of the pain that I was open to look at narcissistic abuse recovery from a completely different angle. I know if I hadn’t finally surrendered to a higher truth about all of this, that I would not have made it. I would not have continued living, let alone be living the life of my dreams. Nor would I have been able to help other people break through to this incredible level of Thriver recovery.

Our starting point needs to be: if what I have been trying to do to get well hasn’t been working, then I must open myself to the possibility of another way.

 

Giving Up The Outside Focus

How many times have I quoted Pema Chodron in my blogs and talks? I don’t think I’m ever going to get sick of sharing this quote because, for me, it is the most powerfully resonating one regarding narcissistic abuse that I have ever heard.

‘Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.’

As a result of my Thriver Journey, I know 100 per cent that life is happening FOR us and not TO us. I know, also, that it’s excruciatingly difficult to accept this when we are in the bowels of hell with a narcissist.

Additionally, when we are thrown into inner body trauma immediately we go into emotional survival programs that trigger cortisol and adrenalin. It goes something like this: ‘My inner is traumatised so I will look outside myself and try to change my outer environment to try to change my inner trauma.’

This is the most optimal terrain for a narcissist to operate in – where people are disconnected from their own truth trying to negate, fix, change or stop the narcissist doing what they are doing in order to try to feel loved and safe. It doesn’t work.

All it does is disconnect us more and more from our own inner beings, truth, values and choices, and hands the narcissistic our energy. This energy is narcissistic supply, therefore when we are disconnected we are feeding them the exact food that sustains their ability to hurt us and attack us. It is like a drug to them and so they continually want more.

When we believe that things are happening ‘to’ us, we are always going to be in our logic trying to control other people and situations, rather than deeply connecting to ourselves, our inner development and resources and true power, and working out our life from there.

We were lied to by our peers and authorities. We think that’s how life works, addressing what is happening ‘to’ us – but it doesn’t work that way. It’s Wrong Town. It equals handing our power away and is ‘how to lose’. It’s the exact environment that drains us of our energy for narcissists to feed from.

 

The Relief Of Acceptance

When we can accept ‘This is happening for me’, we shift towards the Highest Path of Infinite Intelligence – the knowing that there is ONLY God, grace, love and perfection in all of this, and that people and situations are catalysts.

If it wasn’t that person doing this, then someone else would be taking their place. It’s not even about that person, it’s about the message they are bringing to us to help us turn inwards, self-examine, up-level and take our power back.

Thank God I had my breakdown on my bathroom floor that day. You see I was stubborn – I had a heap of defence mechanisms and the terror of being inferior, defective, blamed and wrong. I was a good person, but there was no way known in my narcissistic abuse situation that I ever wanted to accept that there was something about me that needed healing. If I blamed him and took no responsibility for my part, then I thought that was serving me by keeping me safe in my righteousness.

Now I know completely differently. This viewpoint was keeping me away for the one thing that was going to get me up and out of this horrific trauma – the healing of myself back to wholeness. Another one of Pema Chodron’s quotes that I love that captures this truth is: ‘If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there’s an arrow in your heart.’

When we remain a victim, we don’t let go of our focus on what happened to us and remove and heal from the arrow in our heart. The following is our reality as a victim: ‘I have no power to change or become anything that will change my life because there was nothing about me that needs to change and become – even though there’s a dirty big arrow in my heart! Therefore, for my life to change and become different I am stuck with hoping something outside of me will change and become different.’

In my life, as it is for all of us, this doesn’t happen. And because I didn’t take on my own healing, meaning I didn’t embrace the gift of my evolution, the wounds festered, and the trauma escalated while I fruitlessly tried to change outer circumstances. I was ignoring the metaphoric arrow in my heart – my unhealed traumas that narcissistic abuse had fully activated. My life nearly ended as a result, and it was only with the last skerrick of my lifeforce left that I had my epiphany to turn inwards and start fully devoting myself to attending to the arrow.

I have seen this happen with so many others as well, that only when finally we have HAD enough of the pain that we decide to give up our victimisation, come inside and start to change and heal the only person that we can change and heal – ourselves.

If we are not prepared to give up our victimisation, then we don’t get better. In all the years that I have been helping people create Thriver recoveries, I have not seen one person make it out to Right Town if they weren’t prepared to turn inwards and do the work to evolve themselves and heal.

 

What Happens When You Turn Inwards

Something very beautiful and powerful happens when we turn inwards WHEN we give up the notions of ‘I am taking the blame’, ‘The narcissist gets off the hook’ and ‘This must mean I am defective’.

When we accept that ‘This is in my life and it is for me to heal something that I haven’t been able to before now’ and ‘I am turning inwards with the dedication that I would for anyone in my life that I fiercely love and cherish and want to help’, we are replacing self-judgment with self-devotion.

It’s from this intention that we get very interested in finding wounds that have caused us to be hooked into people who are hurting us, so that finally we can let the wounds and these people go.

We start to understand that we are not defective or to blame – rather that we are a part of the human experience which has been steeped in unconsciousness, trauma and survival and that we need inner adjustment and healing to be in a different Love Code; a place where we are able to be in life on a different trajectory than the one we were enmeshed in previously.

Once we start being in contact with the inner parts of ourselves that are stuck in trauma patterns and binds with narcissists, we realise that many of our wounds came from our genetic history and our parents as emotional wounds; wounds that we were born with (nature) and ones that were accentuated in our childhood by the very people who were also carrying these wounds (nurture).

We can also start to understand that our parents were also brought up in conditional ways full of expectations, punishment and emotional abandonment, because of the emphasis they experienced on practical survival. When they were growing up, it was a very rare human who was able to have self-values and truths rather than trying to please others to earn self-love and self-worth.

As children we were incredibly co-dependent; we literally could not cater to our own survival needs. Also, we had no ability to feel whole, worthy and loveable for who we were on the inside. Therefore, if this emotional state wasn’t mirrored back to us effectively by the people close to us who were busy dealing with their own wounds, emotional survival and expectations from others, then we came out of childhood empty.

This is our necessary self-work now – to grow these parts and heal them with self-love and devotion, rather than the premise of powerlessly holding other people responsible and blaming them for them.

When we turn inwards and start doing the Quantum Healing to bring ourselves back to wholeness, we are not just reparenting, we are releasing the traumas from our forebears, the human collective experience and our childhoods. We get to replace these traumas with Source, which is the ultimate integration, wholeness and healing love that takes us wound by wound immediately back to our True Self organic state without our traumas.

Then we become Who We Really Are without the fractures that have been inflicted upon us by other humans whose fractures were inflicted upon them too.

The relief and joy and wholeness we start to feel is indescribable.

 

Freedom Lies In Gratitude

Would any of this happened if we weren’t smashed to our knees with nowhere else to go?

Dr Joe Dispenza says, ‘When life can no longer go on as normal, this is when we reach the point of personal catharsis.’

Buddha said to the three men that came to him after searching all of the planet – the highest mountains, the deepest oceans and the farthest corners for their divinity, ‘I wasn’t going to tell you where your divinity was until you have exhausted all options, because you wouldn’t have believed me. Your divinity is within you.’

This is so true – Quantum scientists are now asserting that we all have an inner universe that is driving our outer universe.

In the bible, Psalm 82:6 ‘I said, Ye are “gods”.

How have we got so far away from our power and Highest Truth by believing that things are happening to us instead of for us? How have we got away from the Quantum Truth that there is a force that is always positioned for our expansion, evolution and wellbeing, and wants exactly for us what we want for us if we awaken and free ourselves from the traumas and conditioned beliefs that are not the real us.

I know initially when I was a victim in my narcissistic abuse situation, that I believed life, God and pretty much everyone was against me and damning me. Even before narcissistic abuse, I was living with embedded inner traumas that were limiting my life in so many ways. I was existing but I wasn’t living. It was my normal, and back then I would have told you how amazing myself and my life were! But now that I know the difference between then and now, I wouldn’t go back to life before narcissistic abuse for all the tea in china.

I know for the bottom of my soul that narcissistic abuse was what finally drove me back into myself to heal what I needed to – and I am eternally grateful for that.

 

Make Evolving Your Highest Mission

It took me quite a few years into my recovery journey to learn that the greatest key to truly Thriving after narcissistic abuse is evolving, however, I promise you it is well worth the wait because it is priceless!

Make evolving yourself your highest mission.

This is absolutely how I live my entire life now, before anything else.

I know that if I am not taking care of my side of the road, which means being forever dedicated to my own evolution, out of the trance of human false beliefs and traumas and into my True Self and True Life, that I am not serving anyone or anything in truthful and real ways anyway.

Many people in narcissistic abuse recovery try to heal to get to their dream job, or get a great partner, or rebuild what they lost. Initially I did the same.

Finally, I got it! I realised that of course I needed to look after my survival needs, but there was nothing more important than evolving myself out of the old patterns and traumas that were not serving me. It was about leaning into and healing all those inner places that were preventing me from being free to be me, aligned with my values and truths and truly living.

When I made evolution my greatest focus above all else, I found that the things that were my greatest desires came to me effortlessly. It was as if Source, the greatest force of all Creation, said, ‘Now that you are honouring you, I will grant you more of that. I will honour, partner and fully be with you too.’

Do you think narcissistic abuse remained in my energy field, reality and life after this? No of course it didn’t. And it won’t for you either. The soul contact with a narcissist, the experience, is completed.

This means when you graduate, when you take your evolution with both hands and all of you heart and let go of the things and people that you can’t control – as well as all your internal traumas that these people helped make conscious for you – THEN these people can and will leave your experience.

Like a FedEx parcel that has been delivered, accepted and unwrapped, there is no more need for your door to get knocked on anymore.

Do you understand? Does this ring true for you?

I hope this episode has helped inspire you and has granted you an inner shift that the cells of your body are vibrating with. That is the biggest gift I wish to deliver you in these Thriver TV episodes.

But I want you to know this is only the start, because we have to do the inner work to release and rewire our inner love codes and the relationship trajectories that we have been on.

I invite you to join me to understand more about this in my 16-day free course, which has a lot of free resources to help you get your inner healing journey powerfully started.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

And as always, I’d love to answer your comments and questions below.

 

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