How To Shutdown A Narcissist Who Won’t Leave You Alone

How To Shutdown A Narcissist Who Won’t Leave You Alone


Narcissists can seem like terminators, who just won’t stop hurting you.

So, how is it possible to shut down a narcissist who won’t leave you alone?

Is it even possible?

People report all the time, even years later, that the narcissist is still terrorising them, making their life hell and continuing to turn up, over and over again.

Why is this? Haven’t these people got better things to do?

I know that if you are suffering from this, as I used to as well, you may believe: ‘It is because this person wants to make my life a living hell.’

Yes, narcissists are very capable of not leaving you alone, even years later – but truly that is not the reason why they are doing this.

In today’s article, I want to grant you the true reason why the narcissist won’t leave you alone, and how you CAN powerfully shut down a narcissist who previously wouldn’t leave you alone.


The Soul Contract

Let’s just get straight to it – my favourite quote of all time that encapsulates narcissistic abuse.

It’s by Pema Chodron and it’s this: ‘Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.’

In line with this quote, the most important understanding that you can ever have about a narcissist who won’t leave you alone is this – they are on a Soul Contract with you.

You may ask, ‘What does that mean?’

It means that they are activating within you something that is hurtful, namely they are triggering trauma within you and causing you great angst. But once you go inwards and claim this triggered emotional trauma within, and shore it up, then the narcissist will never again hit that trigger within you.

You may think I’m crazy, if you’ve not gone through incredible and profound Thriver Recovery, yet those of you who have, just as I have, know that what I am saying is incredibly true. When you heal within whatever the narcissist is pummelling, that’s when the narcissist can no longer trigger you, affect you or have any impact on you whatsoever.

It’s then, after your emotional graduation, that the narcissist will disappear from your experience.

You see, narcissists need the feed; they need narcissistic supply to be energised to keep attacking and hurting you. Your fear and pain are like the other half of the toxic magnet that feeds them – the bullets to keep shooting at you.

When your painful emotions no longer exist – when you truly couldn’t care less – then the narcissist has nothing. No energy, ammunition or impetus to keep hurting you.

But it goes deeper than this – to Quantum Reality – which is really what is going on at a soul level for you. Now, let’s get to the truth of what this means.


Your Soul’s Purpose and Mission

I thoroughly believe we are all here to unpack our false beliefs and traumas, which we have accumulated as humans and need to release, if we are to live as Who We Really Are.

Who are we?

We are Beings of love and light and personal power – to be ourselves, express our truths and bring forth our divine contribution to this planet. We are here to help birth heaven on earth, and to free this planet of the stranglehold of darkness and trauma that it has been submerged in for centuries.

There you have it – the REAL truth as I see it!

If you haven’t yet awoken to this consciously, I invite you to listen to what your Inner Being feels about this idea, because something cellularly within you knows it to be true.

This awakening back to your True Self, your True Power, is coded in your DNA and is simply waiting for you to meet and re-activate it.

So … how do we achieve this?

By stopping the focus and distractions on the outside that have caused us to serially self-abandon and self-avoid, and instead turn inwards to release the trauma we have accumulated in our energy fields and to organically live as ourselves.

When you do this and live without the trauma and false beliefs, you will see that a narcissist can no more exist in your reality and do what he or she has been doing to you, than an iceberg can exist in tropical waters. They just don’t go together.

I know that your brain may not want to accept this is true, because logically you can’t fathom how it works. But, can you logically explain why gravity works? Probably not – yet it is a Law that just IS.

Quantum Law is the same – so within, so without. The composition of your Inner Being is what you will choose, participate with and experience in your life. If you have come home to your True Self, then no matter what a False Self does to you, it will not impact, register or even be your reality. And once that graduation is reached, these attempts leave your reality – just as Pema Chodron quotes.

You will have learned what you needed to know.


What IS the Narcissist Teaching Us?

The narcissist brings to us EXACTLY the unhealed, unresolved wounds we have within us. All of the traumas we are carrying that are NOT our True Self.

It is with this idea, that it is something within us that we need to resolve, that people get really bent out of shape with and, of course, so want to hang onto their victimhood. And I understand this, because I used to be there myself.

However, I know I am not going to be able to help you heal by reinforcing your victimhood. Rather, I’m on the mission of saving souls and lives, by helping people evolve in the Thriver Way. So, my purpose is to spin these catastrophic experiences in our lives, into the grandest evolution possibilities imaginable. (Because they ARE!)

Narcissists are doing an incredible service for humanity – they are pushing people’s unconscious wounds up to consciousness so that we can finally wake up, turn inwards and release ourselves from these wounds.

And if you don’t, as Pema said – It ALL keeps going.

But if you DO, then the abuse stops and you will go up to your grand graduation, beyond abuse and abuse symptoms, into personal power and freedom. You will experience your own ascension into higher and more fulfilling trajectories.

And with this, finally, you will LOSE all fear of being abused in your future, because you have cleaned up all the traumas within that were allowing you to unconsciously hand power away.

This is the hero or heroine’s journey, through the bowels of hell into the light and love of heaven – and you can experience it here on earth … absolutely.

I want to share with you the BIG truth the narcissist is teaching us – that we are Quantum Creators from the inside out. It is NOT our Doingness that creates our life, it is our Beingness.

This is where science and spirituality and Quantum Truths are now connecting as powerhouses of healing and awakening, and they completely match our real-life experience. We know (Oh, we know) through the experience of narcissistic abuse, that when we try to survive and resurrect our outer life, whilst we are still mired in a traumatised inner life, that it doesn’t work in a positive or restorative way.

And from this traumatised inner place, you will find it impossible to shut down a narcissist who won’t leave you alone. The abuse continues, and may even be in your life for decades, regardless of whether the narcissist moves on with someone else, or you remain together.

What is it that you need to learn to avoid this?

You need to learn to love and honour yourself enough to turn inwards to meet and heal your unhealed parts. By turning inwards, with the intention and methods to Go Quantum, means you no longer try to work Life out logically.

Rather, you are connecting with the Infinite Wisdom you have within, that is stored in your visceral Inner Being.

Your answers are within – truly. And when you know how to naturally and organically find them, and work with yourself at this True Core level, you will wonder how you ever previously missed knowing this.

In fact, you will realise you always did know it. You just didn’t remember that you did.

And when you do re-member, that’s when you will come home.


Rising Above Fear

In the ten plus years that I have been helping people STOP narcissists attacking them and tearing their lives apart, I have observed that individuals only get true results the Quantum Way – whch means attending to the fearful emotion first and shifting their Beingness, before trying Doingness.

It’s then that the outer changes – it’s Quantum Law – it must do so.

In ALL ways. These individuals show up differently, in their power. They begin to attract and manifest support, situations and even miracles that grant them additional power and breakthrough.

They have become a master of their Life, from the inside out (which is the only place True Power resides), rather than a victim to it.

I’d love you to join me to get started on this ‘switch around’, that will grant you your power and truth, and release you from the narcissist’s prison – forever. 


P.S. Yesterday I made a special announcement that the MTE team is going to be hosting in-person Workshops in major cities around the world later this year!

I created a video to tell you all about it and also have a special little request for you… We want to know where the biggest Thriver Tribes and what kind of events you’d like to see.

We created a quick 2-min survey for this and if you complete the survey you will go in the special early-bird list, giving you the first opportunity to get tickets when they go on sale.

You can find out all the details here.

And I look forward to answering your comments and your questions below.



The Narcissist Has No Power Over You

The Narcissist Has No Power Over You


Narcissists can leave you feeling overpowered, helpless and hopeless and wondering if you will ever feel safe and healthy again.

I understand these feelings as this is how I felt at the hands of narcissists too.

When we are in the middle of narcissistic abuse it is easy to hand over all our power to someone we believe is powerful but into today’s episode, I want to share with you why I believe that a Narcissist is NOT powerful and why Quantum truths will set you free.

The irony is that the WAY to do it has been there waiting for us all along, in an accessible place – we just may not have realised it.



Video Transcript

I know that narcissists seem all-powerful. Many people, myself included, have likened them to Terminators – relentless machines that just do not give up when they seem determined to destroy your life.

Today I’m telling you this is not the truth. There is a way where you can take your power back and know that narcissists do not have power over you.

If you are suffering the horrible, unspeakable trauma of what a narcissist has done or is doing to you, you really need to know what I am about to share with you.

This information literally saved my life. And I know it could save yours from almost certain destruction as well.

So … before we get started I want to remind you that if you haven’t yet subscribed to my channel please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Okay, let’s move on into this information.


Some Quantum and Energetic Truths

Those of you who are logically based, you may find the following pretty woohoo. Once upon a time I would have too. Yet I will say this – when you have had enough of being defeated and smashed at every turn by a narcissist, you will try radical things to stop it.

This I believe and live with every part of my Being – so within so without.

Which means quite simply and succinctly: ‘If I change my inner emotional experience about something, then the experience must change in my outer experience.’

Why is this the case?

Because Quantum and Neuro Scientists are now proving what spiritualists have known for a very long time. That our consciousness is directly connected to everything and everyone as interconnected wave functions. Therefore, we are no longer a part of a random ‘separated’ Universe – we are Quantum Creators able to change our outer Universe by consciously adopting a new inner Universe.

I don’t know about you – I was always spiritual and very much in the belief of ‘interconnectedness’, however, I was never forced to truly ‘get’ this until narcissistic abuse. The reason I wasn’t was because NEVER in my life had I lived the experience of being attacked so mercilessly and cruelly in ways that were obviously without conscience – and therefore to me were senseless.

Why would anyone want to destroy someone’s life?

Why would someone want to bring another person to their knees with pathological lies and malicious acts and treat them with such contempt?

It defied everything that I believed to be ‘human’.

Like most of us, I tried to combat this is the human way. I was distraught, devastated and incensed and I tried to fight back. I went to authorities and friends, family and associates to tell them what was happening to me.

Yet I was powerless to make any headway with these people – they didn’t believe me. Even when I had proof, they didn’t believe me. I didn’t get any help from them. Instead I was distrusted and blamed by them, and I became further traumatised and abandoned. People thought I was the crazy one and that he was the abused one.

I was missing the biggest piece of the puzzle – so within, so without.

I didn’t realise that narcissists and narcissistic abuse is an energetic phenomenon of epic proportions showing us the utter Quantum Truth of matters – Our inner, unhealed, traumatised state is exactly what the narcissist continues to deliver to us.

Please know in no way am I invalidating what you have been through. Of course, you will be traumatised! I remember being so traumatised that even getting an hour’s straight sleep or eating a few mouthfuls of food was a major accomplishment. My life-force ended up so disturbed and dysregulated from narcissistic abuse that I had a complete psychotic and adrenal breakdown.

I need you to know in no way am I being glib or dismissive about the shocking mind-boggling trauma that narcissists inflict on us.

But rather than bang on about that, my mission and my job is to save your life-force just as I did my own. That is why I am here to help you awaken to the ONLY way we can do this, which is to release and up level beyond the trauma inside and become emotionally calm and clear regardless of what the narcissist is or isn’t doing – and then narcissists can no longer be the experience of trauma in our life.


A Quantum Leap

A narcissist’s supposed unstoppable terror campaign can be shocking.

Judy had been divorced for five years from her narcissistic husband. She reported to the police still random suffering break-ins to her apartment (she had moved twelve times in the last five years), her tires being slashed, tracking devices put on her car, her technology, including bank accounts, being hacked, and every time she got a new job being fired unexpectedly because of covert smearing.

She said the narcissist had bombarded her with all sorts of horrific episodes that had left her beyond deranged.

Of course, to outside people it seemed like Judy was making all of this up and that she was suffering paranoid delusions. Many of us have experienced ‘things’ with narcissists that are stranger than fiction. Things that people can’t even fathom as believable.

This was the thing – I knew that it was possible for Judy to be suffering these attacks, and I also knew that if she continued being destroyed on the inside that she would be disintegrated on the outside and would forever remain powerless.

Many people like Judy, sadly, who are at this level of feeling smashed by a narcissist, are not responsive to doing inner work and releasing their highly activated trauma. And I understand why – I’ve been there. The more traumatised we are, the more we are in hyperarousal with our survival brain focused on trying to combat the outer world to try to get change and relief.

Yet, we have no power there – at all. The only power we have is inside, in the unseen world, the Quantum interconnectedness with what a narcissist is doing within the wave function of our visceral and emotional self.

Something in Judy clicked. Maybe when you already feel dead inside, hopeless and helpless, you know there is nothing else to do. I understand this because that was my experience too – I like Judy only turned inwards after exhausting every other option.

Most people who are ‘doers’ struggle with this – and quite understandably!

Judy started her NARP (Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program) healings. She took all focus off what he would do next and worked the healings as if there was nothing else to do – and there wasn’t. She had no job, no friends and family supporting her (they had all turned away); no way to pay her bills and absolutely nothing to look forward to.

She was past the point of caring to try to ‘do’ anything – and so she got down to the job of attending to her Beingness.

Small things continued to happen to her, but she ignored trying to combat them. ‘What’s the point?’ she said. She went inside herself with NARP and released all the trauma that was being triggered within.

A little after a month, Judy couldn’t care less what he tried to do; she fully felt like ‘Life’ had her back and would work out in her favour. She was sleeping, eating and had a new job. She had no terror of losing her job, and she didn’t.

Not long after that, while doing a Quanta Freedom Healing with me, she told me nothing had happened – at all. Everything had stopped. We worked on her fear of it starting up again and she shifted into the inner space of ‘If it does, I’ll just go within and release that traumatised trigger as well – that’s all I have to do!’

That was the day the fear was completely gone. Judy had fully anchored into her Quantum Truth – ‘On every topic in my life I am the Creator if it. My inner experience generates my outer – always.’

She never experienced anything happening to her again.

I have seen over the last ten plus years, in thousands of cases, how this formula irrefutably works – it’s a Law as absolute as gravity. I have seen countless people in custody and property battles, and dealing with stalking, harassment, smearing and other obscene things, all get peace, resolution and an end to the narcissist being able to hurt them, when they go inside and embrace and release the corresponding trauma.

Of course, when we are flooded with trauma there may be things we think are happening that aren’t. Or maybe they are. It didn’t matter whether Judy was suffering all of these previous attacks for real or not. Trauma is trauma and when it is purged from our inner experience, then our real life experience shifts – no matter what the source of the inner experience was.

Belief In The Unseen

I know it can be hard to believe in a force that you can’t see. As I’ve mentioned, I used to be very left-brain focused as well.

However, think about this: How does your subconscious instruct your entire being to process billions of tasks in ways that your left brain can’t even begin to understand, and isn’t even consciously aware of happening?

Trauma experts and neuroscientists now know that the subconscious brain is responsible for 95% of the unfolding of your entire life experience by the time you are 35 years of age. Your subconscious is in your body; it is all going on in your visceral and emotional experiences. This is where your attention, focus and efforts need to be to change your life.

I totally agree with the experts, and this is why my healing system humbly works. It is what the Thriver Movement is all about – getting us into our Beings to get the real healing work done where it needs to be.

True healing is an inner, unseen, somatically felt journey that I created in a practical, step-by-step way. A journey where you don’t have to work any of it out, you just need to follow the instructions and try it for yourself.

If you have had enough of the fear and the pain of what the narcissist in your life is doing to you or the trauma continuing in your inner world, even if he or she is gone from your life, it’s time to release yourself

If you are with me, please write below, ‘It’s time to turn inwards and release myself NOW!’.

To start turning your fear into relief and personal power today, click the link at the top right of this video, to connect with my free inner transformational resources.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

Please write your comments and questions below, as I love answering them for you!



The 4 Steps to Becoming Narcissist Proof

The 4 Steps to Becoming Narcissist Proof


Have you been narcissistically abused and fear it happening again?

Are you worried that the world is ‘full of narcissists’?

There is a very specific Quantum reason the narcissist came into your life – to blow open the wounds inside of you so you can turn inwards to heal and enjoy the best life you have ever known!

Today, we delve deeper into the TOP four Quantum Ways to inoculate yourself against narcissists for good because I NEVER want you to be susceptible again!



Video Transcript

Not everyone can be abused by narcissists.

If you don’t agree with me now, by the time you watch this video through to the end I hope you do.

If you want to never again be susceptible to a narcissist in your life – I’m going to share with you today the four absolute steps to being completely Narcissist Proof.

And the awesome thing is – as you will discover – this is not just about being free in life to play, create, enjoy and love without being worried about toxic people derailing you. More importantly, it’s about freeing you to be a more actualised, empowered, happier self than you ever believed was possible.

Okay, so before we get started, I want to remind you that if you haven’t yet subscribed to my channel please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Alrighty, now let’s jump right in…


Step Number 1 – Turn Inwards to Heal

If you are watching this video, chances are that you have been narcissistically abused and very understandably fear it happening again. Maybe you also feel totally disillusioned, angry and upset that the world contains so many narcissists.

I don’t know how many times I have shared the following truth with this community about narcissists: when you have no more inner wounds for narcissists to appear in your life as being the saviour of, draw you in with, trap you with and start attacking, there is no place for them in your life.

It’s Quantum Law – so within, so without. It is a total fallacy that narcissists come to you because you are already ‘whole’. They get in through our wounds, enmesh with us and then take our energy.

When we are whole, and even when we are dedicated to healing ourselves to wholeness, we can no more be infected and affected by a narcissist than a germ can infiltrate a sanitised surface.

Like so many of us, narcissists used to hook me through my fears of speaking up, the terror of abandonment, the inner feeling of emptiness and the anxiety that I couldn’t be safe and whole in life on my own.

It doesn’t matter how capable, resourceful and hardworking we are, if this is how we really feel on the inside then we are a prime target for a narcissist – especially if we have succeeded and achieved practically in life and have goodies on offer.

Just as so many others in this community have done, since I turned inwards and devoted myself to my most important mission – to clean up and heal my underdeveloped and insecure parts to wholeness – profound narcissistic inoculation has occurred.

I am no longer needy enough to give in to love bombing. I check out people thoroughly before committing any aspect of my life to them, and when doing so I make sure that things are solid and safe in a practical sense. And, I am very prepared to say ‘goodbye’ to someone who won’t take responsibility, care for other people’s emotions, or be honest and decent.

The old me never used to take time to get to know people. She was so steeped in the fears of ‘I need this to help me/complete me’ that I would throw all caution to the wind. Now, I can hold my space and ascertain things because I am generating my life with healthy inner and outer components. Addressing the inner first was totally necessary. When I hadn’t healed my inner traumas responsible for handing my power away – I was often duped, lied to and manipulated. This is what happens when we think other people are our Source and we don’t trust ourselves to be. We believe what we want to believe.

Here is the absolute formula to work out what your gaps are that you need to heal so as not to be suspectable to narcissists again. Ask yourself:

  • What did this person seem to offer me that I thought I needed from them?
  • What part of me thought that I couldn’t create this for myself?
  • What previous unresolved wounds do I have on this topic in my life?
  • What was I trying to receive from others in my past that I didn’t get, and that I was trying unsuccessfully to get from the narcissist this time?
  • Do I realise NOW that only I can turn inwards and love and heal this part of myself back to wholeness to stop this painful pattern and the possibility of narcissistic abuse in the future?

This person in your life is a False Source, pushing you to come inwards to heal and become your own True Source.

And when this happens, there is absolutely no desire, hook up possibility or susceptibility to choosing or staying with a False Source ever again.

Not your reality!


Step Number 2 – Stop Trying to Work ‘Them’ Out

If you want an amazing life – narcissism is not that life. It’s very interesting in my life how I help people recover from narcissistic abuse every day, and I’d like to share with you how my everyday reality goes.

I’m not in tune with at all who someone else is or isn’t being. This may sound crazy, but there is a much deeper truth going on here – I’m deeply in tune with who I am or aren’t being.

I’m the only entity I DO have control over, and working out and on me is my optimal position in Life because my entire experience, in my experience, is manufactured from the beliefs and alignment going on within me.

I know, as my own generative source, that if I keep releasing my fearful programs that made me terrified of people and their capacity, and if I don’t hide, shrink or sell out, or tip-toe on broken glass around people – then I CAN be a calm, clear, solid adult in my own body.

Just yesterday I was questioned by a person who I know can be confrontational. I told her the absolute truth, including my concerns about her, calmly and directly. If when I did this she had popped and even decided to leave my experience – so be it. That would have been meant to be.

I know that if I walk truthfully and honestly and confront and speak up as my authentic self, my life shapes around me accordingly, regardless of what anyone else is or isn’t doing.

I get asked all the time, ‘What if your ex narcs read or watch your stuff?’

My answer is, ‘So what if they do?’

People even say, ‘Maybe they get narcissistic supply from doing that?’

I reply, ‘So what if they do?’

Why on earth would I care about what other people think of me and what I do, and what they get out of it, when all that is important is how I feel about who I am and what I do?

What have I got to fear other than fear itself? And now, because of focusing and working on me and not them, I’m so thrilled I get to do it the easy way – with Quanta Freedom Healing I can release and live free of any fear.

When we are focused on developing ourselves and an amazing life, why would we focus on what narcissists are or aren’t doing and the possibility of running into one? I used to all the time – and I understand why we do this – because we are still carrying so much of the trauma of what happened with them inside us.

Hence why the inner work to release this trauma is so important.

When we start to live free of the fear, we know there is no purpose in deciding ‘the world is full of narcissists’, ‘I have to look out for them’, and ‘I have to protect myself against them’.

This is the truth about narcissists: they are False Selves who are infected with a terrible virus of unconsciousness. There is NO Real Self at the helm, and through people’s fear and pain (unhealed wounds) they attach and then drain out their lifeforce.

The complete inoculation from the narcissism virus is to stop making it all about them and make it all about healing, developing and extending you. Then they can’t touch you any more than a vampire can exist in the presence of a bright shining light.

As I was creating this episode in a café, I could have been dining with five narcissists in the room – and I couldn’t care less – I’m just doing my life fearlessly.


Step Number 3 – Enjoy the Journey of Releasing Yourself

Step Number 3 may not be obvious to you initially – but hear me out because this Step is vital!

When we finally start the journey of turning inwards and healing and releasing ourselves from our narcissistic abuse wounds – we may want to ‘get it all done NOW’. Can you relate? I used to be so like this. I was the A-type compulsive obsessive person healing my butt off morning, noon and night so that I could be all trauma free, evolved and clean and never have to heal myself again!

I know this sounds familiar to a lot of you.

Now I know the truth about this – we are imperfectly perfect. And, personally, I know that as I ascend more wounds appear to be released, because as I become lighter (more filled with Light) any dark and dense energy that is not my True Self must come up. It simply must be unpacked if I want to continue moving upwards in consciousness.

I promise you that the same truth exists for all of us.

Now I love this process of dense energy emerging from within or being triggered off by some event in my outer world; and no matter how busy I am, being committed to doing Quanta Freedom Healings on myself whenever I’m in need.

I know that if I don’t go within, I go without. I know that every time I turn inwards and release trauma energy and replace it with Source, the energy that was tied up in me trying to survive that wound is now freed up and available as a pure creative force.

When we release the uncomfortable, painful, anxious or even terrorising feelings from our body and fill where traumas were with Source, we immediately shift and feel free, at peace and extended.

It’s so funny how sometimes people ask me, ‘What are you thinking?’ and I say, ‘I am not thinking; I don’t like thinking.’

It’s true. The more Light that enters my Being the less I need to think, because I just have more and more Source running through me as me. Inspiration comes, things come, amazing things happen – it just is. I don’t need to think about much anymore except showing up to do whatever I feel good about doing.

Mind you, when trauma comes up it feels like trauma – and I love that it does, because each time I do the work to release it I just keep going up to a freer, more spacious trauma-free level.

Here’s the deal on this point – if we hate that trauma keeps coming up and we try to do all the work now so that it never will again, we are not living the process of becoming more whole one wound at a time.

Then we will resist the calling to go within and heal. We beat ourselves up for it, do a spiritual bypass, try to resolve it with our mind, and all the while keep the trauma’s energy trapped in our Being.

This makes us toxic and keeps us connected to people who represent this trauma and toxicity, no matter what we try to learn. The rule of thumb is – the more activated you feel to research how to get out of trauma rather than just releasing yourself from it, the more you will remain stuck in it.

Rather, if we just love and accept the process of the true reason why ‘stuff arises’ – to give us the opportunity to midwife our breakdowns of the Old Order into the grand breakthroughs of our True Self Order – then we are totally OUT of the loop of narcissists.

They are not on a frequency of applying this to their life at all!

So within, so without – unconsciousness can only connect to ongoing unconsciousness.


Step Number 4 – Be Grateful For Your Evolution

Of course, at first this can be so difficult because of the trauma and losses you have suffered.

If I can be so bold as to share with you what many of you already know, and understandably many of you don’t yet, narcissistic abuse is a powerful experience which wakes us up to the unhealed limitations, fears and insecurities that had always been standing between us and our True Life.

When I say True Life, I mean the life that is aligned with our True Self – being the only life that was ever going to gratify us.

When we turn inside to heal the things that get smashed by narcissists, our breakdowns turn into divine breakthroughs where we start enjoying the greatest joy, comfort and wholeness that we have ever known. So many people report this, even before real-life compensation appears.

As we heal our wounds and come home to ourselves, we start to experience a feeling of connection with Source, and ourselves and Life without fear and pain, and we realise that finally we are integrating back to Who We Really Are – free of human illusion, traumas and beliefs that have been plaguing us forever.

Life is forever changed as a result of narcissistic abuse, and not, as many people would have you believe, in a bad way. I have said to people over and over – you couldn’t give me 10 million dollars to go back to the person I was before narcissistic abuse. I have also replied many times to people who have said to me, ‘I am so sorry you had to go through what you did’ that I feel so blessed and grateful for going through what I did. Because, before narcissistic abuse I was carrying so many unhealed traumas that were my ‘normal’ that, if this hadn’t happened to me I would never have been forced to heal.

Here’s the real deal that I believe with all of my heart. There are no mistakes in what we go through – we are getting the evidence of our shadows so that we can wake up and make the unconscious conscious to turn inwards and finally release ourselves into our True Self and True Life.

When we can be gloriously grateful for this opportunity and grab it with both hands – why on earth would we require ‘more’ of the message (aka narcissists)?

The truth is we don’t!

We heal beyond the fears of speaking our truth.

We ascend above the terror of not being able to generate our own life.

We know how to connect to people with discernment, sensibility, truthfulness and maturity.

We are able to leave when abuse starts knowing that we are already whole within ourselves and will not accept less.

We can honestly tell people what we need from them and co-generate evolving healthy relationships with able others.

No longer are we trying to turn crumbs into cookies!

I loved what a dear Instagram Lady said, ‘Nah girl, I’m making bread!’

Love it!

So darling Thriver peeps – how about it? If you are with me write below, ‘I’m done with crumbs, I’m making bread!’

And, let’s go do this work together…to truly be narc free and Thrive. This is about going within and finding our gaps, up-levelling them and bursting forth into our True Self and True Lives, and leaving all this crap behind in the dust.

If it’s your time, come join me here, in my Thriver world, by clicking this link .

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

Oh, and I have mentioned it on my blog, but I want to share with my YouTube listeners too, that I am incredibly humbled and surprised regarding being nominated for the Kindred Spirit Awards 2019 – Personality of the Year!

It’s apparently a pretty big deal – Eckhart Tolle won it last year. I would be thrilled if you could take a moment to vote for me because this is really about voting about worldwide recognition for the Thriver Movement so that we can help end narcissistic abuse.

You can vote for me here:
VIA FACEBOOK: Go to the KS Facebook page:
The voting lines close on 30 June 2019.

Thank you Dear Thrivers!

And, as always, I am so looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.



The Real Reason Why The Narcissist Came Into Your Life

The Real Reason Why The Narcissist Came Into Your Life


Was the narcissist coming into your life a senseless, cruel mistake?

Was it to destroy you and what is important to you?

Trust me I know you could 100% believe that.  I used to too…

However, know there is a REAL reason – an incredible one – that not only holds the key to your full Thriver Recovery…

But also, the most incredible resurrection of you and your life that you could imagine.

BY knowing this TRUTH you can be set FREE.

Watch today’s Thriver TV episode to find out EXACTLY what it is.



Video Transcript

Most of us have believed that the narcissist coming into our life was senseless and completely and horribly ‘wrong’.

But I want to challenge you in the most loving and direct way today, by saying this: only if you are interested in deeper Quantum Truths that can shine a huge light on this mess and offer you the truth that will set you free watch on … otherwise maybe don’t.

Because truly, if you are still in the process of feeling deeply victimised and want to be there indefinitely (which I understand, because I’ve been there myself), this video isn’t for you.

However, for those of you who are Quantum and Truth seekers, I promise you the deep exploration of the following question holds the key to your true recovery: What is the REAL reason the narcissist came into your life?

Today I’m going to give you that answer, in various ways where I hope you won’t miss, by sharing my own journey from victim to survivor to Thriver.

I’m passionate about what I learned and applied regarding the real reason why the narcissist came into my life, because it saved my life. Me sharing it with you means this may save your life too.

So, if you are still with me watching this video, let’s get started by flipping perceptions – from outside in to inside out – because it’s vital.


The Outside In Version

Within narcissistic abuse, by looking outwards at what is happening to us we see that this person, the narcissist, is doing all sorts of unspeakable things to us and the people and things that are dear to our hearts.

It seems tragic, cruel and senseless.

To make matters worse, whatever we are trying to do to stop this person hurting us, it doesn’t seem to be working. And, to add insult to injury, we feel so mentally trapped in it.

Why can’t we walk away? Why can’t we leave? And even if we have physically moved away, we can’t seem to emotionally.

And why do we keep getting drawn back in time and time again? And even when we finally don’t go back, why can’t we stop obsessing about what happened with this person?

What is REALLY going on here?

If we stay in our normal human reality of looking outwards, we actually never get to work it out. The abuse continues, and even intensifies, and our feelings of being powerless and out of control seem to get worse.


The Inside Out Version

When we turn inwards, to the only person we do have the power to heal and change, then we CAN heal and change what is happening.

Yes, we are being traumatised beyond measure by narcissists, but it’s not until we let go of our focus on them and come deeply inside to find and heal the parts of ourselves hooked on them, that we can move out of our powerlessness and trapped and traumatised state.

From a Higher perspective, as well as my own personal journey and co-generating liberation from abuse with thousands of others, I know exactly why most people don’t get better after narcissistic abuse – because they are not working with the truth.

For many of us it takes a long time to know the real reason why the narcissist came into our life. I didn’t know the real reason until I was within a millimetre off dying, in my breakdown on my bathroom floor, when the answer filled me with such blinding clarity that there was no missing it.

Here is the absolute truth.

The trauma I am receiving outside of me, matches already existing trauma trapped inside of me. Now that these unconscious wounds have become conscious, I can go to them, release them and start finally living free of them.


Is This Victim Blaming?

The biggest problem I see in narcissistic abuse circles is when people are determined to uphold, ‘I didn’t ask for this, and there was no reason for this to happen to me.’

My recent video about peptide addiction explains the results of this thinking, which has dire and far-reaching negative results.

I understand this thinking; I used to be vehemently attached to it too, and sadly it nearly killed me. Because, when I was not willing to go deeper and heal my inner trauma I was fruitlessly trying to get others to change to make me feel better.

It wasn’t happening and the reason it wasn’t is because it is a false premise. It is the definition of handing our power over and being stuck in a state of personal powerlessness.

We also may not realize that this is the very co-dependency, looking for self outside of self, that allowed such horrific abuse to happen to us as a continuation into our adulthood where we DO have the power to stop it happening.

It’s Wrong Town on steroids and sadly the most destructive path we can take after being abused.

I believe the following is the issue: people thinking going inwards to heal our wounds means accepting ‘blame’, and that we are being ‘shamed’ by receiving the information that our inner work is necessary.

This is the EXACT thinking that has led us into the madness of our own self-abuse – being so horrified to think that we may be ‘defective’ that we refuse to meet our own Inner Being with tenderness, love, care and support.

Instead, we have self-medicated away our pain with food, other substances, workaholism, over giving to others, and all sorts of other ways – including having relationships with sick and unhealthy people – to self-avoid the cries to come inside and meet and heal ourselves.

By going inside the Quantum Way, we are not beating ourselves up with self-repulsion (which is horribly self-defeating). Rather, we are acknowledging there has been a ton of trauma in the human experience that was inflicted on us by other people who were steeped in their own trauma and unconsciousness. And like a virus this unseen force, wedged in our Inner identity, is leading us into more of these situations that continue to hurt.

I can assure you I have lived both ways, asleep to this fact and awake to it.

As the victim thinking that there was absolutely NO reason at all for a narcissist to come into my life and smash me so hard, I wasn’t getting the healing and evolution gift of freeing myself and future generations from ongoing generational trauma. The smashing continued.

When I woke up and realised that there was a great deal of inherited abuse trauma as well as many childhood knots for me to unwind – all of which had accumulated to toxic overload, hence experiencing narcissistic abuse – then, finally, I turned inwards and started meeting and releasing and reprogramming these inner traumas.

Soon afterwards I started to get well and free in ways that exceeded my wildest dreams, which was a miracle considering I was told that there was no way back to heal from my trauma conditions.


What Deeper Truths Are Narcissists Showing Us?

Narcissists enter our lives pretending to be the ‘answer’ to what we need to heal within us – a need that we may not even be aware of yet – and then cease the faux support and start to smash those exact parts, making the pain so horrific that unconscious parts become fully conscious.

The narcissist first appeared to be the saviour of our wounds and then became the messenger of them instead.

Let me grant you my own example. I used to suffer greatly from fears of abandonment and not being valid and seen or being ‘good enough’ to be loved. This was deeply unconscious because it was all I had ever known as my ‘self’ and my reality.

Like many people who are narcissistically abuse, I was over-functioning and over-compensating for my inner unconscious traumas and was very practically capable. I seemed strong and other people would have sworn I had it together. Yet on the inside I was battling anxiety and depression, which to overcome I had to keep myself very busy and to keep achieving goals.

Naturally, because it is how this stuff goes, I was never gentle, tender or supportive with these inner parts. Rather, I was constantly self-abandoning my internal pain, not making my feelings important at all, and being incredibly self-critical and demanding of myself. Again, this was my version of ‘normal’, being the only way I had ever known to be with myself; this was exactly what people in my life had always modelled to me.

It wasn’t until narcissistic abuse that these parts I had been surviving and covering over, came screaming to the forefront. The narcissists in my life initially appeared in my life validating and approving of me as well as claiming a full commitment to me. However, things switched and my fears and gaps were, over time, attacked with full ferocity. I was rapidly and cruelly abandoned, invalidated and regularly accused of being a horrible person.

My story is your story – in this way our stories are all pretty much identical. We see the narcissist as the ‘answer’ to our wounds – often unconsciously hence the powerful unexplainable bond to them – yet their actual message to us is to find and heal these wounds within ourselves.

When we awaken and get very self-honest, this is how we know there are parts of ourselves which are unhealed; that we are still sticking around and frantically trying to make the narcissist think and do it differently.

We are clinging onto that person trying to force them to provide us with the relief of these traumas, yet the only way out of the nightmare is to let go of them and attend to those parts that are screaming out deeply within ourselves.

If we are a whole and healed source to ourselves, it becomes a clear-cut thing: ‘I don’t agree with your warped version of me, and I have NO need to try to change you to have a great version of myself! Goodbye.’

We are thrilled to discover that we have ZERO urge for the narcissist to provide us with ourselves, and the longing, desperation and missing ends.

As does the narcissist’s power to hook you and hurt you. If you get the inner healing job done well enough and the narcissist becomes totally irrelevant, while you become a force of fearless, calm power, they will let go and move on with their life.

False Selves cannot exist in healed and whole environments, no more than germs can in a healthy, clean environment. There is nothing for them to feed off.

You may think this is glib and unrealistic. I promise you it’s not. Absolutely there can be complications with narcissists that need to be unpicked and sorted such as custody with children, property, businesses and all sorts of enmeshments. Yet no matter how difficult these challenges are, I really want you to understand that the greatest and most deadly binds with narcissists are the ones we are suffering emotionally through our wounds.

When we heal from those, all else can follow.

Myself and thousands of others have granted the overwhelming evidence time and time again that when we use Quantum Tools, such as NARP, to find, release and heal what the narcissist brings up in us, then our soul contract with them is concluded.

That’s when the healing message – posing as a holocaust to get our attention – ends.

The same happens with people with cancer. When individuals have gone inwards to discover what the cancer is calling them to heal and then address that at true causation level, the cancer, due to having delivered the message, may suddenly and completely leave their experience.

Narcissists, like serious illnesses, are RELENTLESS and their incredible purpose as a False Self is to NOT STOP delivering the torture until you get the message.

I dearly hope with all my heart that you made it here with me to the end, and that you are absorbing the message regarding the REAL reason why a narcissist came into your life.

And if you do know it now, it is time to turn inwards, self-partner and do the healing work to free yourself not just from the narcissist but from every internal trauma and false belief that has been limiting your incredible True Self and Life.

That’s the work I live as a lifestyle for myself and which I love assisting others with so that they too can claim their highest and best lives.

If you are ready to not just merely survive but truly Thrive join me in my 16-day free course where you will start shedding trauma and coming home to you. You can connect to this right away by clicking this link.

And, if you liked this video please click the Like button. And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

And as always, I’d love to answer your comments and questions below.