How To Process Fear, Shame & Anger After Narcissistic Abuse


The fear, shame and anger after narcissistic abuse can be incredibly intense. And, you may be suffering a host of other horrific emotions that are in obsessional repeat.

Feelings like heartbreak, regret, intense loss and total disbelief regarding what happened.

Sadly, many people after narcissistic abuse, never learn how to process these emotions effectively. Often, the best they can do is to barely manage these awful ongoing feelings.

This is only a recovery of survival; it certainly isn’t how you can Thrive after narcissistic abuse. We can get better and do better!

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I take you through the truth regarding how to process these emotions to gain freedom from them, so that you can access the life that myself and many other Thrivers are blessed to experience.




Video Transcript

Many people are shocked at the emotional effects that narcissistic abuse has had on them.

I know that you may be feeling the substantial trauma of incredible fear, shame and anger.

You may agonise over what is going to happen to you and your life now, and to those you love.

And, how on earth did you let this get so bad and allow all these things to happen to you?

And, how could this person be so cruel, malicious and conscienceless to do the things that they did?

Your emotional traumas may be so activated that it feels almost impossible to face normal tasks and get on with your life.

How do you process these intense emotions?

How can you let them go so that you can continue with life?

I’m going to explain exactly how that is possible in today’s TTV episode, in direct, powerful and fast ways.

Okay so let’s get started …

The first step is …


Know That Acceptance is Vital

In many ways, the first step is the hardest of all.

And I promise you that it is also the most vital because without this step you can’t reach the next ones.

Traditionally, there was a belief that there was a necessary process and long timeline for moving through grief and loss.

On the forefront of narcissistic abuse recovery, I promise you that this isn’t necessary. There are inner processes that surpass the need for these drawn-out stages … such as shock, denial, pain and guilt, anger, depression and so on and so forth.

These stages can be shifted out and moved through much more quickly. This is not about rushing them. This is about ensuring you don’t have to go through extended emotional agony that just isn’t necessary for true recovery.

The deeper Quantum Path and Spiritual Truth that starts with acceptance takes you from having a normal and often extreme suffering experience to a more extraordinary experience that teaches you that pain is inevitable, yet indefinite and ongoing suffering is no longer necessary.

The truth is by the time you need healing, you have already been through shock and denial and enormous amounts of pain, guilt, anger and depression and all the negative feelings that go with abuse.

There is an ability to wake up out of this and shift beyond this quite quickly.

I have found this capacity to be equally consistent for people just finding out they have been narcissistically abused, and those who have been suffering for decades. Time is not the criteria. What is the defining factor is the willingness to engage in acceptance.


What Is the Acceptance I’m Talking About?

It’s not everyday acceptance such as, “Oh gosh, this really did happen to me!” Rather it is a deep spiritual Quantum acceptance of, “Everything happens for a reason, and there is something for me to learn, heal and evolve here.”

And, “By doing so I can take my power back, release myself from this trauma, person and experience, and be able to enter more evolved experiences that are healthier and much more fulfilling for me.”

And, “This experience, as horrific as it has been, is helping me heal, awaken and enter a life that will truly gratify my heart and soul.”

In other words, it is the total understanding of, “I NEED to heal!”

I promise you, in the ten plus years that I’ve been helping others deeply heal and Thrive after narcissistic abuse, I have seen some dear souls get this immediately, and others that it takes longer to awaken to. Some never do at all.

Regardless, I bless everybody’s experience, because where you are at, is where you are at.

Personally, I nearly had to die to accept this. I was stubborn. I firmly believed that I was a victim, that he was a monster, and that there was absolutely no learning in this for me at all.

Thankfully, right at almost death’s knock, when there was virtually nothing left of me to live, I had the massive shift to want to partner my Soul and my Inner Being and heal the parts of me that I needed to.

That is when my true healing began. Without this shift, I would have died. I am certain of that.

Then I healed up those parts of myself which I used to self-abandon and cling to people and try to force them to love and accept me and grant me security. I finally learned how to be a healthy whole adult woman in her own body, capable of generating this for myself.

It took work, but it was so worth it.

I promise you that it will be the same for you.


Be Prepared to do the Inner Work

You may be starting to understand that inner work is vital to change your life.

We can’t change abusers. We can’t round them up and put them on an island in exile. We don’t even have structures and systems which can reliably hold these people accountable, let alone put them away.

But you can, in most circumstances, deeply and powerfully change yourself in order to have different experiences. As well as be an example to others to empower them to do the same.

It can be very hard for you to accept the following truth until you start living it – the only reliable way to get a narcissist firmly out of your life, it is to completely purge them out of your Inner Being first.

This may seem woo woo, like some spiritual New Age jargon.

Yet it is a highly quantifiable Quantum Truth, which you will understand when you start to live it as a life principle (not just regarding narcissists but for anything that is unwanted in your life).

The inner feeling and composition that you have precedes the outer events. When you have purged every vestige of the trauma, fear, pain and heartbreak of a narcissist out of your system, he or she becomes completely irrelevant.

Then this person emotionally and energetically has absolutely no emotional effect on you. That is when the spell is broken; they cannot extract narcissistic supply anymore, and everything they try to do starts to fall over and ultimately fails.

Without the ability to be able to get a feed anymore, the narcissist must depart from your life experience.

And they do.

This is totally in alignment with Quantum Law, so within, so without. When nothing of the narcissist remains inside of you, regardless of what he or she is up to, then the outer will shift to match it.

The same goes for every single thing in your life. When it’s gone on the inside emotionally, you will have the inspirations, power and confidence, as well as all of the support from legal and outside forces to assist in the elimination of this individual or thing.

In this Community, every week we receive beautiful glowing reports from people who are working with the NARP program being awarded wonderful property settlements and full custody rights of their children.

The consistent reports are not a coincidence. These people did the diligent inner work to clear out their fears and painful trauma-bonding to the narcissist. Then solution entered.

The inner work is so much more powerful than just trying to obtain knowledge. We must deeply change at the core of our Inner Being to be different and do differently. It’s almost impossible to try to think our way out of the terror, pain and horrific feelings that go with narcissistic abuse. It is so much easier to have a process to shift them out, and just go free from them.

Then you are no longer disempowered by them.


Being Triggered Happens – It’s How You Deal With it That Matters

We were all brought up to try to escape our painful feelings, instead of meeting them.

As a Thriver, I now know a different truth. I know that when I am triggered, it’s signalling me to a deep as yet unhealed part of myself and the situation or person bringing it to my attention is an A.I.D., an Angel In Disguise, posing as a difficult person or situation to help me find and reprogram this part of myself to evolve myself into a more actualised human being.

This has completely changed my life beyond description.

Yes, I still get triggered. I am totally human. I even share about these triggers on social media so that I can help inspire people to continually evolve rather than suffer in their triggers.

Before Thriving I used to self-avoid, self-abandon and self-medicate myself with distractions and addictions. Things such as workaholism, smoking, excessive social media use and socialising, drinking, hanging on to people who were hurting me, and trying to get them to take away my pain for me.

I used to do everything other than turn inwards to heal myself, and of course the false substitutes I used for comfort only granted fleeting relief and the pain kept coming back. Because I didn’t understand that the triggers were the signal to heal myself.

Now, I adore being triggered with any feelings of fear, shame, anger and pain that is the human experience.

Absolutely I feel it. I am a sensitive person, just as I know many of you are too!

Now I fully embrace courageously my opportunity for evolution. What else is there to do if I don’t want a crappy life stuck in repeat with the same pain?

I know that when this happens to me if I turn inwards with love to myself and do a Quantum Freedom Healing (NARP Module) then I will release the trauma and the accompanying painful and false belief systems, and immediately reprogram them with my Superconscious/Source Self.

Then automatically I’m changed. I am no longer the old program of the painful emotions. I have shifted into peace, wisdom and solution instead.

This means the panic, helplessness and hopelessness is gone and is replaced with a solid and sound understanding of what to do.

I promise you that you will have the same experience when you start living this life.

There is another incredible and beautiful benefit. As you evolve upwards you don’t have to keep repeating the same painful cycles. You reach into higher echelons of love and life, ones that you didn’t have access to before doing the inner work.

No longer will you keep saying, “Why is my life always like this?” Because you will be in the driver’s seat of changing it for real.

If you deeply understand this, please pause this video and let me know in your comments below by writing, “I get it!”

If you are ready to access this level of healing, by doing the necessary inner healing, then join me by clicking this link.

And, if you enjoyed this, I’d love you like and share it with other people who you know are also struggling with processing their emotional suffering.

And as always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.