The effects of narcissistic abuse can be excruciating.
Many of us have tried so hard to heal from the anxiety, depression and feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness that abuse trauma can cause. And some of you may have gone on to develop adrenal malfunction, fibromyalgia, Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) or agoraphobia.
So why were we able to get up and go again with other events in our life – even serious ones – but this time we just CAN’T…
…despite all the effort we make, the knowledge we learn and the practices we study?
In this Thriver TV Episode, we will look at ineffectual avenues of healing and why they haven’t worked. We will investigate the scientific evidence of the new healing ways, that do heal us deeply at our core, and why they do.
If you have battled to heal, and possibly even feel defective or a failure because you aren’t getting better, today’s episode is a must-watch video for you.
This is the first of a two-part series about healing from interpersonal trauma.
This episode includes why it has been so difficult to heal from narcissistic abuse and relationship trauma. We will also be looking at the different ways we thought we could be healed, ways that have proven for most people to be ineffectual, as well as Quantum Healing effectiveness that is now backed by science and which does release us from trauma, deeply, at our subconscious and cellular level, in ways that standard contemporary therapy simply can’t.
Today you are going to start learning exactly why talk therapy and trying to think differently, and even learning copious amounts of information about abuse and your abuse symptoms, although can help you know you’re not alone or going mad, does not have the ability to heal you.
The specific healing work that I will be talking to you about in this two-part series, is cellular. It’s Quantum – it’s where spirituality and science meet as a powerhouse of healing.
Today, because I am alive and not just surviving after relationship trauma but Thriving beyond my wildest dreams, where I have zero symptoms and am healthier, happier, more confident and safer in my body and life than I have ever been, even before being abused, it’s my life’s mission to educate you about how I healed for real and how you can also.
In this series, I am sharing humble, powerful and authentic accounts from my own life, as well as those of numerous Thrivers within this Community, regarding what our experiences were and how we healed. I want to inspire you, regardless of how bad your trauma symptoms are, and even if you feel that it’s impossible to heal or that it is just too late for you.
I promise you this is just not true.
The conversation this week and next week is so that you can save your soul and life and become the powerful knock-on effect for your children and their children – and for our world.
Before we get started, thank you, everyone, who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission, and please know I love hearing from all you beautiful Thrivers and about your breakthroughs. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.
Okay, let’s move on in!
Our Disbelief In How Hard It Is To Heal
Let’s start off by examining the limited ability we have had to heal from intense trauma.
I have met some extremely rare individuals over the years who just seem to be able to ‘get over it’ and move on after terrible abuse. For me, personally, and usually for the hundreds of thousands of people I have met over the last decade, this just wasn’t possible. Generally, extreme emotional wounding and a decreased ability to function is the norm.
Those people who I have seen push the pain down, or compartmentalise it and just carry on, generally have it erupt at a later some stage of life. A very dear friend of mine, after moving on courageously without inner healing from narcissistic abuse as a child, had a breakdown years later whilst in her own loving family – when she had a daughter.
The other people I know who ‘carry on’ have generally kept experiencing reoccurring disappointing events in their outer world. Such as repeat narcissists, or the like; evidence of the shadow – the unmet unconscious trauma becoming conscious by meeting them in real life from the outside – as our shadows do.
As Buddha said, ‘If you want to know what is going on in your inner world, look at your outer world.’
Many of us, after overcoming many terrible things in our life and being able to get up and get on with it again, were shocked to discover just how impactful toxic relationship trauma is, and how it brought us, maybe for the first time ever, to a place where we couldn’t move forward anymore.
This doesn’t have to be intimate partner relationships. It could be with a family member, an authority figure, someone in your workplace, a toxic neighbour, a friend – literally anyone at all.
Regardless of what gender or religion or sexual orientation you are, your age, whether or not the person is still in your life, or even deceased, or whether the abuse happened today or 40 years ago – the trauma may still remain and be living on like a terrible, emotional virus within you.
Please know the result of narcissistic abuse is a shocking dis-ease of our entire Being that can feel unshakeable.
When I first set out to get relief from narcissistic abuse, I was dismayed at how no one had a true healing solution for me.
Doctors and psychologists told me that my Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), and many other symptoms, couldn’t be healed and that medication and strategies were needed to try to manage my symptoms. Additionally, I was horrified by so many people in abuse forums reporting their diminished health, life and victimhood.
Some of these people even spoke like this decades after their abuse.
Now, thankfully, having been on the forefront of abuse and trauma recovery for more than a decade, I have met countless people who previously reported the same thing, before, humbly, finding my Thriver Way to heal.
This is what Claire, a fellow NARP member and Thriver said, ‘Until the NARP healing system, there was literally NO help for Narcissistic abuse recovery. I went from therapist to therapist; to spiritual healers, alternative therapy; and the list goes on and on. I tried to help myself learn and understand what had happened to me through research, but no matter how much I learnt I couldn’t get well.’
So many of us who end up in narcissistic abuse recovery astoundingly may have already been doing copious amounts of work on ourselves, or already be in healing or mental health industries. I was a spiritual therapist and teacher for years prior to narcissistic abuse, and I know many of you are into studying and being practitioners of wellbeing, personal development, psychology, counselling or human care services. Yet we still found ourselves in relationships that brought us to our knees.
Why didn’t the learning, studying and therapy change our relationship patterns or take away the pain?
The answer is this: because we weren’t shown how to heal from painful relationship traumas and programs within our Inner Beings. There was not the releasing of our trauma cellularly or the reprogramming of our subconscious painful programs to create us as a New Healed Self.
Feeling Like A Failure When Trying To Heal
I really want to acknowledge you. Most people who experience the devastation of toxic individuals and any sort of human relationship abuse are extremely traumatised. Not only are you fighting for your mind, sanity and life, but it is also possible that your finances, security and what and who you care for are under siege too.
Let’s just make this really clear right here, right now – you being in this position is not your fault, and I want you to know that you are NOT a failure.
I know you may be feeling the awful trauma about what you have lost, the time and even years you have wasted, and the torment you’ve put yourself and others who you care about through.
Maybe you are horrified with how you can’t stop going back to the abuse, no matter how terribly you are treated.
And, you are probably in shock that your life has ended up like this – somewhere you never believed you’d be at the age that you are. Add to this, of course, all the compounding feelings of failing because you don’t seem to be getting better.
Or maybe just when you think you might be getting better, you find yourself sliding back down into a deep, dark hole again.
I can’t tell you how often before I discovered how to heal for real, that was my experience – for years.
The fact you are struggling to get healing and resolution with what you are going through is not because you aren’t a productive, high-functioning person. Most of the people I meet in this Community are far from lazy, unintelligent or incapable. They are in fact the exact opposite.
Like my previous self, you may have, after exhausting your own considerable determination and efforts, diligently consulted people who you hoped could help.
I was in psych therapy – lots of it. I was also seeing healers, dieticians, doctors, personality disordered specialists and specialised lawyers, but nothing was helping me get away, stay away, heal and move on with my life.
So many people told me to let go of him. One Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) specialist told me the outcome if I stayed was my death or institutionalisation.
Yet I couldn’t stay away.
Meanwhile, the guilt and shame of who and what my life had become was eating me alive – I completely believed I was hopeless, defective and pathetic.
But this wasn’t true. I wasn’t healing because no one knew the truth about what was really going inside me psychologically, and therefore emotionally and mentally. And nobody was addressing my healing where it needed to be addressed, at the core.
All therapy was doing was the constant reaffirming my painful victim story and how hopeless and helpless I felt.
Please know I don’t want to knock therapists; I have heard of people gaining support and comfort from them. However, this I believe with all my heart: the old models of therapy, talking about the problems and receiving medication, needs updating. And I believe this because unless we are addressing trauma at the core of where it resides, then we are only hoping to try to manage symptoms – hence why there is an ongoing need for so much therapy without any real healing result.
The effective therapists in our world now, are the ones who are working deeply with the body-brain connection and are not just attempting to manage symptoms.
Chelsea, a Community Thriver, shared this: ‘Unfortunately with the psychiatrists, therapists and psychologists I saw, all that was accomplished was similar to putting a band aid on a broken bone. It doesn’t really fix anything. However, when recovery is tackled where the real problems are rooted, the real healing begins.’
Additional to therapy, in amongst all my desperation to try to find an answer to heal, I researched abuse community forums for many hours most nights. I hoped it would help me deal with him, as well as the terrible symptoms I now had, which included severe anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia and agoraphobia as well as CPTSD.
It didn’t. The more knowledge I gained, the angrier and more devastated I got and the more obsessed about him I became. And I still couldn’t stay away.
Tina another NARP Thriver says this about her experience: ‘I kept finding more information on narcissists and the abuse, but I got tired of reading about the abuse and how bad it all was. I just wanted to get over the powerless feeling I felt. This is the secret I never had – focusing on healing ME! I am now free from the despair and happy for the first time in a very long time.’
I know that many of us in this community are spiritual. I am too. I also sought out alternative methods to heal – holistic healers and Life Coaches. I had treatments including Reiki and Crystal Healing sessions. And I was regularly doing meditation, affirmations and journaling.
These things would grant some temporary relief, but the pain and mental obsessions about him came back and still I couldn’t keep away.
I even determinedly tried Law of Attraction on me, my life and even him. But there was no way with my deterioration of health that I was able to override my inner trauma, which assaulted me 24 hours a day, by trying to just ‘think positive’.
Now I know that Law of Attraction was one of the most devastating processes I tried to do. Later I discovered that trying to mentally push through extreme subconscious survival trauma programs by forcing yourself to be ‘positive’ can almost break you into psychosis. There is such a need to first face, hold and release the trauma to make space for a new positive program.
As Bruce Lipton says, ‘If you go to battle with your subconscious and conscious minds, your subconscious will win every time.’ In fact, as I devastatingly discovered, it will make the painful program and trauma more magnified to assert itself.
Of course, this made me feel like even more of a failure.
Okay, so if you are or were like me and you have worked your butt off trying numerous ways to heal from trauma, I want you to write below: ‘This happened to me too sister!’ And maybe you would like to list what you have tried that hasn’t helped, and also share what has.
So now, today, I know the truth – the reason why I wasn’t healing wasn’t because I was a bad person, unintelligent, or broken beyond repair. It was just that no one had ever taught me about inner trauma and painful beliefs, which were hijacking 95% of my brain and nervous systems and hooking me hard onto someone who represented these unmet and unhealed places within me.
This was not my fault. I logically never chose it and I logically had no control over it. These toxic binds were being driven by forces much more powerful than my conscious self. Will power was useless in the face of this – as was mere information and strategies.
What was needed was a deep, cellular shift directly in the core of where these deep powerful forces were playing out. And when I achieved that, I promise you none of my powerless, enmeshed, addicted, victimised self remained. And all my trauma dis-ease and symptoms completely left me. I am healed and whole and free of all of them, and have been for a long time.
Please know if this has been your struggle too, it doesn’t mean that you can’t heal and that you are doomed to suffer these terrible traumas, battling your symptoms indefinitely or for life – it just means that you haven’t, just like I hadn’t at this stage, understood the truth yet.
The Real Truth About Healing
I really want you to know what contemporary medicine and abuse forums say that is not the truth. They are telling you that you are sentenced to struggle with abuse symptoms and a diminished life. With all my heart I promise you this is NOT true.
It is totally NOT true that CPTSD, agoraphobia, adrenal malfunction or fibromyalgia are unhealable conditions that you will have for life; and that you will need constant medication and therapy. What is true is that when you find and release the traumas from your subconscious – which is generating these conditions – they simply melt away.
A Thriver member called PP shares this: ‘As a result of my abusive relationship, I acquired fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, osteoporosis, bruxism, insomnia and sleep deprivation, and then some. The Thriver healing system is the only one I have found that addresses the inner energetic component and effects of narcissistic abuse. Without this Program I doubt whether a person could ever fully recover and truly make the turnaround from survivor to Thriver. This is exactly the healing and approach I have needed for so long.’ Myself and tens of thousands of people in this Community are living proof of this.
Now let’s look at the science behind why subconscious healing systems works.
What Neuro-Science Has Now Discovered
I love what the scientific community is now proving regarding trauma and the body-brain connection, because it completely backs and supports the Thriver Recovery process.
Bessel Van Der Kolt, a Dutch Psychiatrist who is a forefront expert on the understanding of trauma, states that the logical part of our brain doesn’t have the ability to communicate with our brain’s limbic and internal nervous systems, where our trauma experiences reside, and therefore talk therapy is ineffectual to deal with it. It’s only through taking our attention within to our visceral emotional experience that we can hope to overcome trauma.
The starting point focus of the Thriver Way to heal is self-partnering. Every healing takes you into your inner world in theta brainwaves to bypass your logical brain and enter your subconscious, visceral feelings and internal programs.
Then the healing work is done with processes that communicate directly with your subconscious – your cellular inner self.
I want you to imagine this analogy: you are looking at a closed car hood and trying to imagine what the mechanical problem is that is going on inside the engine.
If you don’t go inside, firstly you will never know what the real issue is – you are only guessing. And secondly, if you don’t go inside you will never fix your ‘self’ and the problem will remain.
Regarding our trauma, talking, thinking and researching amounts to exactly this – lots of contention and absolutely no healing.
Bruce Lipton is an internationally recognised cellular biologist and bestselling author. He explains that as adults, our life is already programmed by our previous emotional experiences that generated belief systems in relation to these.
Bruce says that by the time we are around 35 years of age, our logical mind has only a 5% capacity of changing who we are, therefore regardless of how much we learn, research or talk about our life, we don’t break out of the patterns which aren’t serving us. Only going inward to reprogram our subconscious, which is in control of 95% of our life, does this.
He also explains that our subconscious programs control 40 billion bits per second of information that we process in relation to our life experiences, whereas our logical mind processes a teeny 40 bits per second. This is why it is impossible to think our way out of our painful emotional experiences, which are generating our feelings, thoughts and choices as well as who and what we connect to and stay attached to.
If, for example, we have painful internal trauma that has generated the subconscious belief, ‘People I love hurt me, leave me, replace me, betray me (the list of course may go on)’, these are the people and experiences we continue to make true in our life with the power of 95% of our Being directing this – no matter what we try to think and learn.
In Part Two of this series, I will share with you how I was given the codes and the ways through an information download – how to access the subconscious, find these traumas and associated beliefs, load them up and release them. Our logical mind has no ability or way to do this.
You will learn also how we can change our emotional programs directly at our core, often instantly, so that we are no longer the Old Self operating from the Old Program. Instead we are freed onto the trajectory of more empowered, whole and conscious reactions and decisions that do serve us.
Joe Dispenza is a scientist and researcher on the leading edge of neuroscience, epigenetics and quantum physics. He teaches us that our brain follows our body – meaning our mind thinks in alignment with our inner subconscious programs and does not have access to a healthier path until we create a shift on the inside of ourselves.
Therefore, once we change our inner subconscious programs, how we think, which is our level of consciousness, will automatically reflect this.
One of the most powerful ways I have found to produce a shift is to enlist a Higher Power force to fill the space where the released trauma once was.
If we were just to release trauma, then in its place we would have an emptiness; a bewilderment about who we are and what is next in our lives. Yet when we fill the space where the trauma was with our SuperConscious, then we have the best teacher embodied within us.
We literally become Infinite intelligence which knows how to be for the greater good, firstly for self and then as an outflow, benefitting all of life and others in divine, powerful, yet graceful and healthy ways.
You may think of this as your Higher Power (whatever your Higher Power means to you). To you this may be God, or The Universe or Creation or even Lifeforce.
This Higher Self element is what many contemporary and even some energetic healing processes miss, and it’s one that many Quantum Healers do enlist. Honestly, I don’t believe we have any ability to heal the unthinkable – which is what narcissistic abuse truly is – unless we pull on a force, this Infinite, which does this so powerfully.
This Higher Self aspect – to midwife a shift from the Old Self into your True Self to help bring through the breakdown of the Old Order to the breakthrough of your highest potential New Order in record time, with maximum potency – is a big part of my healing process and occurs multiple times in every healing that you do in NARP.
This is what Lakiira said about this, ‘During the first healing, it felt like magic but it’s science. I knew that I was touching on something spiritual and a Higher Power was involved, because the feeling of emptiness I had always felt had shifted. I was coming home to myself. I believe 100% in the power of Quantum Healing, and I hope everyone can be free from emotional trauma by opening up to receive this energy and love.’
Okay, so I’m going to leave this very important discussion here at this point. I think we have had enough to feel into and talk about for now.
As well as what I mentioned before, next week we are going to investigate the Science of the Observer Effect, Quantum Consciousness, the truth about our genes and our ability to create ourselves and our Life anew, even from severe trauma symptoms and even if trauma is all we have ever known.
I’m also going to share with you the three specific Quantum keys I discovered to achieve full Thriver Healing status and my experiences when channelling, creating and applying Quanta Freedom Healing.
Please know if you don’t want to wait until next week and want to dive on in and start ‘going Quantum’, you can do so by clicking this link. My free 16-day course will explain so much to you – things that will make perfect sense about your healing journey.
And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.
So, thank you for your presence and attention regarding this fascinating Quantum Healing conversation. I can’t wait to share the conclusion of this series with you next week.
As always, I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.