It’s so good to be back – after enjoying time with family and loved ones, the beach and lots of great food and company!
(All the things that make Thriving and holidays a joy!)
I hope with all my heart that you had a lovely relaxing break as well and that you are excited about the possibilities for 2019.
And please know, I understand that you may be still deeply in the throes of narcissistic abuse and trauma and have had a really hard time over the holiday break – which naturally could have brought up a great deal of pain for you.
My heart goes out to you, if this is your life right now.
I’ve been there … I know how painful that is.
Or maybe you are Thriving and getting ready to set your intentions for what you would like to achieve this year.
Regardless of where you are at, I want to kick off this New Year inspirationally, in a way that can maximise our ability to let go of painful situations and people, or old stuck habits, or any fear or unworthiness, to free ourselves to expand into the life, abundance, joy and dreams that is our birthright to experience.
In this first Thriver TV video back, I have included some steps that I know can set your 2019 up to be your best year ever … and I can’t wait to start generating that with you!
I’m so pleased to be back, as well as preparing and gearing up for another year of incredible healing and breakthrough.
The MTE team and I hope you have had a wonderful holiday break, and whether you are back at work or not yet, I hope that you are feeling hopeful for what this year may bring.
Regardless of whether you are still in the throes of pain and abuse and dissatisfying relationships, no matter who that person is in your life, or if you have left that person behind and are already Thriving, I want to inspire you with today’s episode.
I’d really like to think, that if you haven’t yet broken through to better feelings and relationships and starting to reach your goals, that 2019 can provide that in spades for you.
These times that we are living in, are getting very powerful and exciting when we know how to navigate them, and right now we have an opportunity to put our best foot forward, and FINALLY say goodbye to all the junk and stuff that we no longer want as our life.
We all know that new years are all about new intentions and new beginnings, but this is about more than just that, because the more and more I learn about Thriving, this is what I know, our growth lies in letting go of the things that we are attached to that are still not serving us.
Why is this so essential?
Because the energy of ‘change’ must have the space to enter and take hold.
You can’t park a new Ferrari where the garage is blocked by a rusty old wreck. Our old habits, ways of being, regrets, unhealed and unfinished business only keeps us clogged up and mired in ‘more of the same’.
To be an actualised human being, opening to experiencing our greatest expansion and potential, requires great courage. It necessitates honouring our Inner Being and its truth, rather than selling that out for the mental constructs and egoic desires that our personality can stubbornly cling to.
It requires purposefully doing what is distinctly uncomfortable in order to dissolve away our familiar Old Self, who is often stuck in old painful beliefs, patterns, relationships and habits. And the most powerful thing we can do to achieve that is, stop looking outwards and go inwards instead.
Something incredibly powerful happens when we do this and say, “I now commit to healing and changing the parts of myself stuck in old patterns so that I can go free to generate new and more pleasing realities.”
What Do You Need To Let Go of?
Now the next question we can ask ourselves is: “What do I need to let go of in order to change?” And to get your 2019 powerfully started, my suggestion is to ask yourself exactly this.
My suggestion is to sit with a journal and pen, and write down this following question: “What do I need to let go of in order to start living as my Highest and Truest Self?”
Then be really honest with yourself and list whatever arises for you. We always know the answer, even though we may not want to.
Is it clutter and loose ends that are weighing you down? (I truly can’t suggest this enough as your starting point. Do you know how much FRESH energy you can allow into your life by releasing all your old junk and stuff you no longer have a purpose for?)
Is it addictions that you are using to self-medicate, rather than process and heal your emotions through to completion?
Is it excessive time wasting to numb out, such as TV or social media?
Is it repeat patterns in your life that you are still living, hoping that someone or something will change THIS time?
Is it lingering and painful emotional baggage?
Is it staying stuck with painful people and situations that are causing you damage?
Is it pretending to be and do something that is not Who You Really Are?
It’s well worth taking your time with this list because by bringing awareness in, you are shaking yourself out of the trance and starting to understand these fundamental truths: ‘If nothing changes, nothing changes’ and ‘I must become the change I want to live in order to experience it.’
Being In the Void – Healthily
The next step towards generating your new empowered and healthy 2019, is understanding that when we let go, there is an emptiness, a distinct discomfort as the Old Self and Life start to dissolve away, and the New Self and Life starts appearing.
We need to be prepared to be there and live through this time because that is where our True Alchemy is activated.
It’s during this time of letting go that we are granted incredible opportunities to stop distracting ourselves from the real inner work that sets the foundations of our entire life. It’s here that we truly get to love and support ourselves and adopt inner healing routines that allow us to let go and start living free of our previous trauma, therefore healing ourselves back to wholeness.
Be aware your ego and personality will resist this with all of its might. Your ego wants logical proof and can’t believe in a new future that it hasn’t experienced yet. Therefore, we need to bring our power into our beings, our bodies, our knowing which is where our true Creation power is activated.
It’s confronting work. It’s uncomfortable and absolutely it’s painful, yet rather than running from the painful aspects of ourselves and our life that aren’t serving us, that haunt and hunt us down as well as sabotage our life, we finally get to meet them, hold them and release them. Then we have the golden key to enter trajectories of life that we never had access to before this time.
It’s this time of being in ‘the void’ that people mistake as ‘depression’ and even ‘failure’. It is crazy how we believe that hanging onto the old ways and life is better than nothing. Yet it’s when we clear the deck and have the courage to be with ourselves without what society may deem as acceptable, and just be true to our values and Inner Being rather than clutch on to outer props, that the miracles start unfolding in our life.
We also find the peace, security, love and true esteem that was only ever genuinely authentic from within. We thought we had to conquer life and others, yet we always needed to conquer ourselves, meaning release our dense inner parts stuck in painful traumas and beliefs and bring in the light to where these were.
This was only ever possible when we stopped self-avoiding and self-abandoning what was really going on inside us.
We No Longer Have ‘Time’ To Not Be Aligned
Time is racing now and speeding up. Each year is going faster and faster. I’ve been talking about this for years, and there are reasons that are Quantum as to why this is happening, but that’s not the discussion for today. What is the conversation is as about how to be the most actualised beings we can in the most direct, powerful and fastest ways.
We literally don’t have time to stay stuck anymore. Doing so only tears us apart, because the energetic frequency we are all living in now, doesn’t support this.
Here is the complete simple answer – decide with all your heart what you want, and then let go of all that is in resistance to that. Then align with speaking and being what this is, and support yourself with inner healing while the old order breaks down and the new order starts breaking through.
If you do this, you will change your life beyond description in ways and time frames that seem like magic. That is how powerful time and energy moves now.
Let me grant you a simple example that you can apply to any area of your life to break through into your most incredible year of Thriving yet.
Why? Because this formula snaps off old programs and implements new ones in their place.
Okay, this begins by …
Step 1: Name your painful repeat pattern.
An example may be, ‘People don’t value me and treat me with respect”. Other more specific patterns may be, ‘Controlling relationships’ “Loveless relationships’ ‘Abusive relationships.’
Step 2: Identify what it is that you would like to experience.
List what you want and require to be valued and respected and what ‘healthy’ would look like. (You may need to do some research around this to get clear).
Step 3: Clean up the areas in your life that you are not valuing and respecting yourself.
Absolutely this involves self-care, eating healthily and moving your body, honouring yourself with things like exercise, as well as practising healthy self-talk and support. This also includes stopping ‘giving to get’, not being able to say ‘no’, and believing if you don’t allow other people to treat you badly that they will reject you and you won’t be loved.
Step 4: Speak your boundaries about what you require to move forward with people not honouring your truth – clearly and honestly and directly.
Have no attachment to the outcome. You are honouring the Creation of your entire life. That is paramount. Be willing to lose it all to get it all.
Step 5: Ascertain YOUR truth from this.
If this person doesn’t get it, doesn’t respect your feelings as valid or has no desire to work as a team, that doesn’t matter because FINALLY you get it. Now it’s time to let this person and situation go, no matter how much that hurts, and start being the generative source of what it is that you do want as your life.
Step 6: Going forward, you are determined to be a source of love and respect to yourself.
You are honest about what you need from people, you are prepared to directly and honestly have difficult conversations. If people don’t have the resources to match you at the level that you love and respect yourself and others, let go and keep generating and creating a life with those who do.
I promise you that when you get this stuff right, they absolutely do exist! Your life will fill with healthy friends, associates, colleagues and intimate life travellers.
We Are All In This Together!
I love our community, and I love sharing every part of my growth, awareness and expansions with you, and I am very excited to partner with you deeply this year with my blogs, YouTube videos, social media channels and of course the core healing system in this community, the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP).
So, let’s all join together to heal, breakthrough and flourish and create the best life for ourselves, our loved ones and our world possible.
I can’t wait to start this up again with you, for 2019, next week!
And, I’d love you to share what your intentions and goals are for 2019 and what you need to let go of to achieve them.