Narcissistic abuse recovery can be confusing.
It is not always a straight line!
And … I know you need support and information from people like myself who have been through it, to know WHAT to EXPECT.
That’s why in Today’s Thriver TV Episode I wanted to share with you seven signs to help you know that you ARE on track with recovery.
I also want to help those of you who are not doing Thriver Recovery yet, to get clearer about what REAL recovery looks like and how to start aligning with it.
Wherever you are at – this episode will bring you validation, clarity and much needed answers!
I love today’s TTV Episode because I know it will give you hope, and that’s so important because in narcissistic abuse recovery it’s not a straight line, and that can be confusing.
We may come so far and then think we have gone screaming backwards – but in fact we haven’t.
It is my greatest hope today that this episode will demystify recovery for you and help you know what it means to be on track. Also, to powerfully get you on track, I am granting you a NARP Version 3 Goal Setting Statement with each of the seven points.
Okay, before we get started, thank you, everyone, who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.
Okay, let’s dive in.
#1 You Come Home To Being In Your Body
Such a big part of abuse symptoms is dissociation. The truth is, if we didn’t have a parent modelling for us how to process our troubled emotions through to calm and safety, our unhealed emotions became trapped trauma within.
As trauma builds, it may be impossible to withstand the painful feelings inside, so as a coping strategy from a young age we may have learned how to ‘check out’ and not ‘be’ in our bodies.
Absolutely as adults when we experience the emotional assaults of narcissistic abuse, that we haven’t processed through to completion and healing yet, the levels of inner trauma are so great that we become dissociative. We may be so checked out that we feel numb and spaced out and possibly can’t even feel our extremities and body parts.
Our life coming back online is about being able to reconnect with and get safe and solid in our bodies. The more we start releasing trauma when we turn inwards to self-partner, the more we can bring in Source to where the trauma once was. We start navigating our life from our truths and values inside us, rather than handing our power away to others.
After being dissociative, if you are doing the essential inner work to release your trauma and heal, you may start ‘feeling’ like yourself again. You will become aware of body parts and emotions and feelings inside of you.
A large part of our essential healing is becoming more able to be with our feelings and name them. The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) helps you do this powerfully – creating a safe way to reconnect inside, release trauma and heal yourself from the inside out.
To get back into our bodies, even though at first it seems highly uncomfortable, means that our life starts to reflect the glory and success of Life and others partnering us, just as we are now doing for ourselves.
And we discover, after a time, just how comforting, empowering and loving it feels, as well as completely natural, to be with ourselves self-partnered in our own body.
The NARP Goal Setting Statement that goes with this is: ‘I return into my body, release my trauma, and nestle into my values and truths.’
#2 Having Self-Compassion and Healthy Self-Talk
One of our greatest realisations after narcissistic abuse, is that the outer critical condemning person was often mirroring our own internal critic. How we were never good enough, hadn’t done enough and couldn’t live up to our own conditional standards.
Recovery from narcissistic abuse is a profound journey to realise that self-criticism, self-rejection and self-abandonment is no way to heal, get better and do better. When we start to become conscious of being our own lover and supporter, we start to gather wholeness, courage and capacity to change from the inside out.
This is a huge turnaround from the shame and blame we continually inflicted on ourselves, which contributed to us accepting bad treatment from other people because it mirrored the way we used to treat ourselves.
It is so true – we accept the level of love at the level we love and accept ourselves.
The NARP Goal Setting Statement is: ‘I now support and speak to myself lovingly. It’s my love that my inner being seeks the most.’
#3 You Accept and Settle Into the Healing Process
We can carry all sorts of inner beliefs about not being lovable or worthy of love or anything good until we are ‘perfect’. That is a ridiculous and false premise that has been a part of ingrained human conditioning that in no way serves us.
When you start loving and accepting yourself – flaws, wounds and all – you will discover something very powerful: your healing is much easier, because you no longer have conditions on it.
When we have accepted that we are all wounded and imperfectly perfect, and take responsibility for healing our wounds and releasing ourselves into happier, healthier higher trajectories of living – to benefit ourselves and the All – this changes everything about our healing.
Then you can check in with yourself about what to do to love and hold yourself in times of need. You can work with NARP healing Modules and self-care practices, rather than trying to push and force yourself into shape.
By supporting ourselves with unconditional love, and being in the joyous process of eternal evolution, we get to experience the right support, information, miracles and synchronicities as well as unconditional love from others in our life.
We realise the process of evolving ourselves and self-love right now is the key, not the destination of being ‘healed’.
The NARP Goal Setting Statement is: ‘I accept that I am in an eternal process of evolution with no requirement. I simply get happier, healthier and more whole and serve others and Life in Higher Ways.’
#4 You Start To Love Your Own Company and Peace and Tranquillity
Abusive situations are full of highs, lows, and drama. We may not realise that we are or were carrying all sorts of crisis consciousness patterns, keeping us unconsciously stuck in situations where we needed to fight battles and put out fires.
Because of our unhealed inner trauma, drama allowed us to self-avoid because we didn’t know how to be alone with our unresolved feelings, beliefs and inner traumas.
However, when you purposely turn inwards to self-partner and meet your emotions to release trauma and bring in the Light to heal, you will start to adore peace, calm and tranquillity.
This is when you will start to see the joy and value in the small things, nature, and Life itself.
No longer will you have the stomach for issues, turmoil, and drama.
The NARP Goal Setting Statement is: ‘I settle into the richness of peace and stillness, from where all opportunity is born.’
#5 You Feel Great and Then A Massive Trigger Goes Off Inside You
I really wanted to include this one, because it can be so deceiving. When a trigger goes off inside us, many people think that they have gone backwards in their recovery.
This is not true! These triggers can happen often in narcissistic abuse recovery such as in the time of breaking No Contact. This has happened to many of us after days, weeks, months or years.
There could be, of course, other triggers rather than breaking No Contact that go off for you such as when the ex-narcissistic partner gets a new partner, your kids get involved with a new step-parent, or the narcissist takes you to court. The list is endless.
Or maybe it is a feeling, a trigger that gets set off within you for no logical reason.
Please know this is totally on cue for your recovery. What it means is that now, after reaching a certain level of your evolution and healing, the next BIG wound that is ready to go has appeared for you to unpack it. This happens so you can go UP even higher and freer into your True Self and True Life.
If you feel like the trauma is so big that it’s a 10/10 in intensity – I promise you that if you meet it, release it and bring in Source to replace it (the NARP process), that the graduation, great feelings and bursting forth into your empowerment on the other side is a 10/10 as well.
That’s all you have to do!
These times, during absolute breakdown, are where your greatest acceleration in healing takes place. But only if you meet the trauma in your body and do the inner work, rather than get dragged into your head and ‘stinking thinking’ about it.
These are golden breakdown/breakthrough times of HUGE power and healing!
The NARP Goal Setting Statement is: ‘By meeting my trauma as it arises, I burst free into the higher trajectories of my soul’s dreams.’
#6 You Drop the Need to Attach to a False Identity
Before narcissistic abuse, most of us were inner identified with labels and achievements. We may have believed we were only as good as the security we had, what we achieved, what our last pay cheque was, how we looked, what people thought of us – the list goes on and on and on.
After we are narcissistically abused, very often the things that our previous identity used to be reliant on are wiped out. Many of us have had so much stripped from us, including our security, resources and health.
This means that we are left with only one thing to turn towards and value – our soul.
From here you make the transition into living free from conditions, achievements and outcomes in order to be whole.
When our Identity is no longer reliant on what we have or become, and is generated on the state of our Inner Being without props, this changes everything. Because we finally go about the healing of our shattered feelings instead of trying to get something from the outside to try to fix them.
Once we achieve this, which NARP powerfully does, then the doing and getting become effortless because it is an expression of who we are already Being.
We also no longer do the clinging to people and things, because we know that everything other than the worth and wholeness of our own soul is transient.
This is the true personal freedom that many of us never glimpsed, let alone experienced, until going through Thriver Recovery from narcissistic abuse.
The NARP Goal Setting Statement is: ‘By valuing and healing my soul, I know Who I Am and create more of myself with freedom and joy.’
#7 You Have Made Yourself Your Greatest Mission
Many people try to ‘get’ to ‘be’ until we realise the Quantum Law of so within, so without. This is perfectly understandable. We simply didn’t realise that life is about becoming an integrated, functional whole Being and that once we realise this our life mission will unfold.
What we are seeking to be and do is seeking us just as much – but we have fractures and false beliefs and traumas in our way that are not allowing this Source to flow through us as us.
We may also have the mistaken belief that what Source/God/Creation wants us to do is not what we want to do. This is completely a false premise because this higher benevolent force is you, and once aligned with it you will be flourished and nourished beyond your wildest dreams. You will be living the only life that was truly going to gratify you – the life you were born to live – if you only get yourself out of the way.
I don’t know of any force more powerful for you to align with your True Self and True Life of gifts and aspirations than narcissistic abuse recovery– as myself and countless Thrivers in this community have done.
Virtually all of us before recovery were trying to find our missions out there in life, not realising they were inside us ready to flow out once our traumas were out of the way.
Our soul urge coupled with all of Creation is too big not to happen, once you clear your trauma and fill with the Light that is you and your mission.
The healing of your soul is your biggest and most important job – and all else comes from that.
The NARP Goal Setting Statement is: ‘By assigning me as my greatest mission, my true mission outflows from me effortlessly.’
I so hope this video has helped.
Okay, if you want to start getting aligned with these truths to boost and actualise your recovery beyond your wildest dreams, then I’d love to help you.
So partner with me in the Thriver Way by clicking this link.
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As always I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.