How To Know If You Are Thriving After Abuse

How To Know If You Are Thriving After Abuse


Welcome to the Thriver’s Life series, the creation of your highest and best life after narcissistic abuse.

I get asked all the time by people, ‘How do I know if I’m Thriving?’ ‘How do I know if I’ve made it?’

In today’s The Thriver Life Series episode, I’m going to help you clear up all the confusion about this and let you know exactly how to tell if you are Thriving!

I remember I used to ask the same thing, but truly I was asking myself these questions from the defunct beliefs of perfectionism and conditions on myself, rather than the true sense of Thriving.

What is really beautiful, is that I have seen time and time again when people start applying the real laws of Thriving, they, like I have, start bursting free into joy, personal power and happy onward and upward progress.

Okay, so before we unpack today’s episode, I just want to check in with you, if you haven’t already subscribed to my channel, if you love my videos, make sure that you do, and leave a like if you enjoy this one.

And thank you for being my subscriber, because just recently I reached the 100,000 subscriber milestone, which is so exciting! Please know how grateful I am for your support for the Thriver Mission.



If you prefer – read the transcript below …


The Answer to ‘What Thriving Is’ (straight away!)

Unlike most of my videos where I like to string you out for the answer, let’s just get to it – Thriving is this: being the master of continually working with and uplevelling your life.

So now that you have the true answer – what does it really mean?

In the simplicity of what ‘Thriving’ really is there are certain things that it definitely isn’t.

It doesn’t mean feeling great all the time.

It doesn’t mean getting it right all the time.

It doesn’t mean never having setbacks.

And thank goodness it doesn’t mean that we must be all sorted and healed and have everything perfectly in order to be successful at being a human and generating our Thriver life.

Rather, what it does mean is that we know how to work with the Laws of a Life in order to be in synch with a Higher Power, which will always flourish and nourish us with a constant stream of wellbeing if we know how to be aligned with it.


How Do We Align With ‘Thriving’?

There are several Quantum Truths that we need to accept and get integrated within us to truly Thrive, and I deeply recommend Narpers if you struggle with any of these to do Module work on them to release all and any traumas not allowing you to be aligned with them.

Once you do release the opposing traumas, you will be thrilled beyond measure to discover that these Laws of Life just ARE your inner coded DNA truth when you no longer have traumas taking you away from them.

These Thriver truths are:

  • Any trauma within me, once it is in my being, can only be released and resolved by me. Waiting for others to do this for me means I remain victimised by them. Now I take my power back by turning inwards to be my own healer and emancipator.
  • I accept that all triggers coming from within or without are an inner signal showing me a trauma, that once released, will allow even more space within me for wellbeing to enter.
  • The more I release trauma from within, the more wisdom, humility, love, power and success I become.
  • The only person holding me back from Thriving has been me (specifically my inner wounds) and all that hurts and disappoints me is the conscious evidence of these wounds.
  • The only power I have is deciding and becoming who I am regarding that person or thing – then it will either shift to meet me or completely leave my experience. Either way, I go free.
  • When I work on my wholeness and need nothing to be whole, people and things rush into my experience to further fill me.
  • If I trust me, then there is no necessity to fear others. I simply honour my truth and show up honestly and authentically in my calm and true power. All false sources are exposed under such a bright light.
  • When my being is ready to shed the next big survival trauma from within me, which can’t come with me up to the next level of my higher evolution, I am going to have repeat painful events from The Field (Life) to being this trauma that needs releasing to my attention and/or I am going to be triggered hugely into old panic, fear, pain and feelings of powerlessness. I accept and welcome this as the process of my evolution.
  • The real (and only) question regarding trauma is: ‘Am I going to go unconscious and into my head trying to battle this at the identical level of consciousness that matches the trauma, or am I going to remember the truth – that life is happening for me and not to me, meet it in my body, load it up and release it to replace it with my Higher Self?’ By doing the latter I no longer stay mired in it and evolve beyond it.


How Thriving Has Been Glorified

It’s so interesting that people think Thriving is a bed of roses, and people who don’t feel like they have reached some mystical land of ‘I’ve arrived!’ say to me ‘I’m not Thriving yet’. (Please know I used to be the same!) However, this I now know – if you are rolling up your sleeves and meeting your Inner Being and doing the work of releasing and replacing you trauma, as far as I am concerned you are Thriving.

Why? Because this means you are breaking out of the ridiculous human paradigms that we were taught, which is trying to think our way out of emotional traumas, never resolving them and then trying to live our life with the still existing trauma patterns within us, only being able to generate life at the same level of these traumas.

I understand that many of you, especially early on in your Thriver journey, may be shifting out lots of wounds with NARP, and find that initially when you shift a big trauma out that another one comes up, to be released, not far behind.

Yet, if you are going inwards, your statement to yourself is this: ‘I won’t accept living with embedded internal trauma anymore and I will do whatever it takes to free me from these chains. I know I must fight the battle to ultimately win the war. I know I have to meet and walk through and release the dark night of my soul in order to mine my gold that has been trapped within me all along. I’m prepared to do that. I know I haven’t gone through this painful life for nothing. I know there is a grand reward for me on the other side of this, when I get to unpack my trauma and live free of it.’

As a committed Thriver I want to share this with you – don’t want all your trauma gone today or tomorrow, and don’t believe you aren’t Thriving until it’s all gone.

Many of us started our Thriver commitment to ourselves with tons of trauma that we brought in from the human collective, past lives, epigenetically inherited trauma, our childhoods and the continuation of more accumulated identical adulthood trauma.

So much accumulated accentuated trauma that it finally got to the tipping point when we simply could not deal anymore. Finally, we were at the make or break point where we either turned inwards to heal, or we felt like we weren’t going to make it.

I know many of you, like me, had no choice other than to be on our couches or beds hiding from the world, meeting and releasing our wounds that we ultimately discovered were not, at the core, about the narcissist.

We discovered that the narcissist was a catalyst smashing these wounds up to the surface, to make them so unbearably intense that there was no avoiding them anymore, so that we could finally know them and heal them. We realised that not only were we freeing ourselves from the insane abuse and hooks of a particular person, we were ultimately finally addressing the emotional fractures which had been holding us back from our highest potential all along.

This is what Thriving is. We self-partner. We turned inwards. We no longer deny ourselves our own love and healing by fruitlessly trying to change someone or something else in order to heal.

We know finally that this is between us, our Inner Being and our Higher Self. This is the coming home to integrate this Holy Trinity, and if we don’t, we don’t evolve, rather we continue to disintegrate.


Releasing Our Conditional Perfectionism

Wailing out our wounds can’t be about ‘I’ll get it all done so that I can be perfect.’

Doing the Thriver inner work in its truest essence is about this – loving our True Self, our Inner Being enough to release him or her from trauma and bringing in the light to fill where those false beliefs and painful emotions were.

Thriving means simultaneously rejoicing in the transformational shifts that happen within and without whilst being fully accepting and lovingly devoted to going toward, loading up and releasing all and any further traumas that arise.

Imagine if you were a tiger with your cubs, you would adore seeing their development yet be truly committed to protecting them at any turn that is necessary.

This is the inner truth of Thriving – we are dedicated to consciousness, meaning we are grateful and observant of how we are showing up differently and doing things differently than we used to. As a result of shifting out our trauma, we are becoming a New Self, generating a New Life and we can rejoice in the miracle of this.

Yet we don’t use this as a spiritual bypass, such as: ‘I need to hold this feeling all the time! What do I need to stay here always?’

Nooooo … as Thrivers we are not scared to roll in the mud. In fact, we relish it!

We love our development and expansion every time a new trauma arises, knowing that we now have yet another opportunity to midwife our next breakdown/breakthrough to emerge as an even Higher and more Actualised Self than we were before doing so.

Thriving has nothing to do with how much trauma you still have on board, it has only to do with whether you are on this path or not.

Does this make sense? How do you feel after hearing what Thriving really is today?  I’d love to read your comments and answer any questions you may still have below.

If you want to take Thriving on with both hands and start living this way of living that we were all born to live, and truly you couldn’t give me all the tea in China to give this way of living up – you can join with me and thousands of people within this community who are Thrivers, starting today, by clicking on this link.

I so hope today’s video has granted you illumination and inspiration!

Also, whilst I am in LA, I am holding some events where I would love to see you if you can make it.

You can find out all the details by clicking here.

Many of you have asked if I can go to other parts of the USA whilst I am here on my book tour. I am returning to Melbourne next week but will be back at a later date visiting more cities.