I know you may be FRUSTRATED! Recovery can be like that.
You may be thinking…
WHY on earth do I still have narcissists coming into my life?
WHY can’t I stop breaking No Contact?
WHY do the same issues keep popping up in my life, no matter how hard I try to overcome them?
Today’s Thriver TV Episode is about peeling all of this back, so that you can learn EXACTLY why these things are still happening to you and how to put an end to these pesky and painful in repeat things in your life – once and for ALL!
Are you in the frustration of ‘Why Is This Still Happening to Me’?
Or maybe you are clear of that particular narcissist, but others keep cropping up in your experience.
Today’s Thriver TV is about ANY pesky thing in repeat that you want to be done with. Today I am going to explain to you exactly why this keeps happening to you, as well as how to break the pattern of repeating everything in your life that you don’t want to.
Okay, before we get started, thank you, everyone, who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.
Now, on to the episode!
You’ve Missed Something
Today’s episode is Quantum. It’s about radical personal responsibility – which means understanding that we are the generative source of our own experience.
If we stay unconscious and refuse to understand or accept this, then we are powerless to change the patterns and occurrences that are painful for us.
A lady I know is going through yet another disastrous breakup with a highly narcissistic man. With the last one she said, ‘I didn’t deserve this! I have no idea why this should happen to me. I didn’t ask for it!’ Now she is saying exactly the same things.
A friend of mine, who also knows this lady, agrees with me – that another narcissist is likely to be her reality in the future.
It’s not that we wish this for her – quite the contrary. And it’s not that she isn’t a nice person, because she certainly is.
Why we think this will happen is because she has within her Inner Being a heap of unhealed traumas. Traumas from her childhood and beyond that she has continually run from, kept busy to avoid, got over all ‘too easily’, and because she drinks and socialises to ease her inner pain.
The bottom line is – she’s never dealt with her unhealed traumas.
And true to Quantum Law – so within, so without – the unmet, unhealed traumas within her subconscious keep meeting her consciously via abusers in real life.
This is NOT her fault – that’s definitely not what we are saying – it just is what it is. She’s right – she didn’t consciously ask for this life or choose it, but her subconscious, unhealed trauma programs are choosing the same experiences over and over again.
I remember how I felt overwhelmed with grief and victimhood when I was smack bang in the absolute trauma of narcissist number two, having to face the fact that he was a narcissist. In my initial helplessness I was consumed with the thought, ‘How on earth did this happen to me again?’
It was my son’s wisdom that pulled me out of unconsciousness and back onto my soul mission of evolving myself. Zac said to me, ‘You’ve missed something that you need to heal Mum, and when you find it and do this, you are going to be bigger and better than you ever have been, and even more able to help people heal from abuse.’
He was right. I found and released myself from deep, abandonment terrors that I had missed, and survival fears of not being able to survive in life on my own.
You may ask, ‘How did you find them and heal them?’ And the answer is… The same way we all can – go inwards to ‘what hurts emotionally RIGHT now’ and use NARP as the Quantum Tool to find and release those traumas.
That truly is what we can do to resolve these things. To realise the truth as Buddha described it: ‘If you want to know what is going on in your inner world, look at your outer world.’
And if we STILL have things happening repeatedly that hurt, we missed the message.
We have missed something INSIDE.
I’m so fortunate in that I get to sing to you the same song day in and day out – because it helps me remember it too.
It’s this: ‘If anything in your life isn’t working then just go inside, find and release the corresponding trauma and you and your life will get well.’
Our logical brain does not want to accept this. It thinks it can’t be that easy.
Imagine if every blog I wrote just had that above solution and then I wrote ‘The end’.
Your replies would have been: ‘but…’ ‘but…’
As the former self-proclaimed ‘President of Over-analysis Anonymous’, I understand. Until I went Quantum and lived this way, with full dedication, I used to struggle with this concept myself.
If you relate to over-thinking, please let me know in the comments below. What would your title be in the Over-Analysis Anonymous Club? I’m President, who are YOU?
When we have things haunt and plague us that continue to belt us up, it is incredibly frustrating. More than this, we also may have hopelessness and helplessness attached. We may think we are doomed, that this is never going to stop, and that we are possibly defective and incapable.
I promise you all of these things are NOT true. It is your mind grabbing hold of the painful subconscious programs, and making stories that are in alignment with them.
Things like the lady I spoke of previously, whose internal program is: ‘I am unlovable and unworthy, and the people I love hurt me.’ To stop this story continually playing in her head, she keeps busy and keeps socialising. People may think that taking this approach is a healthy option, but subconscious programs will never change until we meet them lovingly and heal them. Up until then they simply continue to do what subconscious programs do – create in life the validity of the program, to the letter.
But let’s say we are NOT in denial, but neither are we directly addressing the trauma within with a simple and powerful shifting tool like Quanta Freedom Healing. We may get stuck in the ‘analysis paralysis’ of trying to sort things out by looking outwards instead of inwards.
You may spend hours researching, trying to work out ‘them’ – these people and situations that you are doing repeat dances with. You may blame certain people, or genders or ‘types’, and try to work out how to avoid them or change them. And all the time you are doing this instead of addressing your internal subconscious, heat-seeking missile programs.
The problem is our logical mind wants to understand everything. It wants to chew it over, toss it around and then come up with an answer.
When we Go Quantum, we simply shift out dense energy in our body, without even needing to know anything about WHAT it is, and then effortlessly be-come what we seek to live.
The shifts that have happened within us go WAY beyond what our logical mind could have grasped, let alone assimilated.
There is a vast difference between ‘thinking’ something and ‘embodying it and being it’. The irony with Going Quantum is that it is infinitely more powerful than what our logical mind can produce – and a thousand times simpler to create.
The Steps to Overcoming Your Critical Road Blocks
Step 1: Stop Looking to the Outside
When we Go Quantum, we know ‘there is no outside’ – meaning that everything and everyone who is in our experience is responding to our belief systems and how we are showing up in life. It is fruitless trying to change the 7.7 billion people in the world rather than work with the one person we do have power over – ourself.
Step 2: Go Inside and Do the Work There
I promise you, when you live this way of life whenever anything triggers you, or is problematic, or is a blind spot, you can ask yourself: ‘What is it within me that I can shift that is calling this forth into my experience?’
Please know this is not discounting other people’s bad behaviour or their inappropriate natures, when applicable. But by shifting you, you will completely change the way that you deal with them.
People like this are in the world and part of life, but when you shift it means that you can show up assertively, trusting your inner truth and creating boundaries, and you are able to say, ‘No.’ Hence the repeat experiences of handing your power away to people who aren’t honourable will completely leave your experience.
Do you see how none of this is to do with assigning blame to ourselves, and instead is about taking back our power?
Step 3: Leave Behind Victimisation and Dismay
If we want a comfortable, feathered nest to exist in, this planet isn’t it. Here we need to man and woman up and be in our authentic power to have a healthy, happy life. We are here to transcend our fear, our victimhood, and to be enlightened.
Narcissistic abuse and all the traumas that we need to face and release, in order to get vertical, breathing and functioning and THEN move towards Thriving, keep calling us forward into a conscious lifestyle of necessity. We are challenged like this so that we continually release the darkness from within and bring in more of the Light – which is our True Self and True Life.
It may seem like hard work, but as far as I am concerned, and I’ve lived both lives, there is far more work and time involved in staying unconscious trying to live and survive with our wounds.
We can get stuck in the blame and shame and dismay and frustration of having the same wounds come up again and again – I’ve had it happen too. But truly there is nothing else to do other than to ask, ‘What have I missed?’ and to dive inside and go find and shift it out.
Sometimes we will snap the core of the trauma off immediately; sometimes it may take multiple goes. But the great news is that we have the Quantum Tools to help us to get clear and live free with new, healthy patterns.
Okay, so I hope that this has given you hope, clarity and power, no matter where you are on your journey.
Those of you who are NARPers and feel that you are stuck and struggling with something in repeat, please come into the NARP Forum so that myself and the best minds in narcissistic abuse recovery can help guide you to find ‘what you have missed’.
Those of you who are not NARPers, I would love you to check out NARP so that you can learn more about this extraordinary Quantum Way of Life, which means living an abuse-free life – your True Life as your True Self.
To join me please click this link.
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As always, I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.