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Exactly How Narcissists Screw With Your Mind, Toxify Your Body And Destroy Your Life

Exactly How Narcissists Screw With Your Mind, Toxify Your Body And Destroy Your Life

 

Narcissistic abuse is mind and soul bending and many people are shocked at how hard it is to recover and reclaim your mind, body and life.

Obsessive thoughts can continually haunt them so they feel like they have been taken over by a hideous emotional virus.

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I explain how this happened, as well as how to take your power back to not only emerge from this as healed, whole and vibrant …

But also, completely inoculated against this ever happening to you again in the future.

 

 

Video Transcript

Narcissistic abuse is mind and soul bending.

Being hit by a narcissist is akin to being hit by a freight train. So many people are shocked to discover that they simply cannot get up off the ground and just get on with life anymore.

I know that is likely to have been your experience as well.

And, it is terrifying how much your brain feels scrambled.

The obsessive thoughts continually haunt you and you feel like you have been infected with a hideous emotional virus that literally takes over your nervous system and ability to function.

In addition to this, so many areas of your life may be under siege and falling apart.

Narcissists commonly destroy people’s lives and literally rip them to pieces emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and financially. The effects of this also impact everyone and everything that is dear to you.

This is a total breakdown experience that no one could even begin to imagine unless they have been through it themselves.

Alright, so before we delve deeper into exactly how narcissists destroy your life, as well as how you can recover from this, I want to thank all of you for supporting my Thriver Mission.

And, if you haven’t yet subscribed I’d like to remind you to please do. Also, please give this episode a thumbs up if you enjoy it.

Now let’s go deeper with this information today.

 

How Do Narcissists Get In?

Narcissists are highly skilled at infiltrating your mind, emotions, soul and life.

How do they do this?

I really hope that you are ready to hear this with openness and the desire to heal from narcissistic abuse for real. Because the truth really does set us free, when we accept it.

100% I validate that narcissists are predators who are on the lookout for sources of supply, meaning they are after what they can take from people. And it is shocking what they do. Yet, it is a fallacy that a narcissist can abuse just anybody.

As was the case in my life, and so many others, we did not, as yet, have a solid enough Inner Identity to have powerful boundary function. Meaning the ability to trust ourselves, speak up, say no when necessary, and be emotionally whole and powerful enough to do the necessary due diligence before letting somebody into our life.

This provided a way in. It was a crack in our integrity of self. Narcissists are skilled at identifying where your boundaries aren’t solid and capitalising on this.

This is how narcissists do this – they sum you up and they fact find. They know how to discover what it is that you feel still hurts in your life, what is missing, or whatever it is that you believe you can’t generate for yourself.

Now, all the narcissist has to do is position themselves as the granter or saviour of this “missing piece”. Then we feel like we can trust them. Then we even feel like we need them. We may even feel like this is the person we’ve been waiting for our entire life.

This creates a powerful chemical connection to this person.

This is one of the most confronting things that I had to face myself. Yet, it was what finally emancipated me from not just the trauma of my abuse symptoms but granted me the confidence and power to know I would never allow abuse in the future.

What were my susceptibilities, fears and insecurities that made me a prime target for narcissists, and allowed them to get in through my boundary gaps?

The following … I was too trusting of people. I didn’t do my necessary due diligence to firmly ascertain their true character before letting them into my heart, bed, body, businesses and finances.

I was scared of backing my inner warning bells and having the difficult conversations that meant that I might be susceptible to people reacting to my questioning, or boundaries, or rights, meaning that they could reject, abandon or punish me for speaking up.

So many people who have been soul penetrated by narcissists have also carried the fears of C.R.A.P.

I am certainly not alone!

The members of this community, who have become successful Thrivers, have also done their inner inventory and devoted the time and effort to heal up those parts of themselves, like my own, that made them highly susceptible to unscrupulous people who did not have their best interests at heart.

A dear friend of mine, Cheryl, also suffered some “gaps” that narcissists were able to slip into her life through. Because she didn’t believe she could be safe and uphold boundaries on her own, unconsciously (like so many of us) she wanted somebody big, strong and assertive to do that for her.

As a result, the people who came into her life, were not a rock for her, they turned out to be a hammer instead.

These people were not relieving Cheryl of her inner insecurities, rather they brought her the evidence of them.

It’s so important to understand that this doesn’t mean Cheryl was blaming and shaming herself for being abused, just as she wasn’t excusing narcissistic behaviour.

Rather it granted her the true solution!

By realising this susceptibility, this granted her the personal power to heal these parts of herself to stop handing power over to people who were hurting her. After healing these parts, Cheryl discovered that she no longer felt any attachment or a need to try to change these people, so that they would love and care for her.

Rather, she felt a complete disconnect from them, and absolutely no desire to be with them anymore.

Thus, breaking free into a completely different love and relationship trajectory.

Cheryl is now in a relationship with a beautiful man, who reflects back to her the care, love and power that she has now been able to take full responsibility for and establish within herself. By becoming her own rock, she received the matching partner.

We may not have realised the following, because it has been our “normal” – that we may have unconsciously been trying to get somebody to love us to take away the pain.

Yet, as a match for our unhealed Inner Being, they were only ever going to supply more of the same pain.

This is what narcissists do.

 

How We Have Been Programmed to Be Exploited

The sensible, healthy adult thing is to do what Cheryl did, heal oneself up in order to achieve the healthy outcome – taking your time to get to know people before committing your emotions, soul and resources to them.

Sadly, so many of us have been indoctrinated into the “fairy tale illusion”. We have been conditioned to be emotionally reckless; believing that getting caught up in the moment is the right thing to do.

I often jokingly say that I used to put more effort into choosing a pair of shoes than a love relationship.

In many ways, this was true and very frightening!

I was incredibly susceptible to love bombing and someone purporting to be the provider of what I wanted. If a potential partner was tall, charismatic, and intelligent and seemed to empathise with me feeling unseen, unheard and unsafe, then I really used to believe that I’d hit the jackpot!

We believe in love at first sight! We believe in an instant bond with our soulmate!

But what we may not realise is these deep chemical attractions can be a deep inner part of us desiring the resolution of our childhood wounds. The wanting of our mother or father to do it differently than what they did.

Here is the grand dichotomy in all of this – the person who appears in our life, who we feel chemically bonded to, is offering the promise of taking away the pain of our unresolved childhood wounds. Yet, as it turns out, they end up being the person who delivers an even more severe level of the trauma of our childhood wounds.

At first, we are not initially awakened enough to realise what is really going on, and why we are experiencing such a powerful chemical hit and attraction. Generally, we simply fall straight into this relationship, because it feels so “right”.

Plus, people in your life are telling you to get out there and meet somebody new. You may feel the stigma of being un-partnered or unmarried. Maybe you feel like your biological clock is ticking away and you need to find somebody to settle down with to start a family.

Or maybe you have seen your ex-partner move on quickly and feel the desperate injustice that you haven’t been able to yet.

It is only conscious and evolving people who will tell you the truth. A healing hiatus is needed with yourself, to change your inner love code and the relationship patterns that have been playing out, so that you can go forward into life experiencing a completely different reality.

And what it takes is this: to become at one, whole and fulfilled within yourself first.

Sadly, our programming has always kept us separated from the taking back of our power with radical personal responsibility, to get out of this terrible pattern.

Rather, we have been programmed to be victims and blame people who have hurt us, and then try to change them so that they can love us healthily.

And, we can jump up and down and exclaim that it is disgusting that people behave like this. But in no way does this allow us to heal and get better and get out of these patterns. All it does is further entrench us in them.

And when it doesn’t work, we may try to find somebody else to take the pain away. And then discover that often we are falling into the same pattern and meeting the same person, just with a different face.

If you are sick and tired of these quick fixes which don’t provide durable happiness, you may be ready to understand that only one truth will suffice. You must turn inwards to heal your relationship with yourself, and only you can do that.

One of the benefits of narcissistic relationships, as brutal as they are, is that they bring us to our knees to realise this. And this is where personal catharsis can begin.

The real truth is, as adults we are responsible for our own boundaries, it is not anybody else’s job. We are not children anymore. If we hand our power away and blindly expect somebody else to look after our well-being, emotions, boundaries and life-force, then we are highly susceptible to being not just taken advantage of, but also horribly abused and even desecrated.

Such is the case with narcissistic abuse.

 

How The Damage Deepens

Because the narcissist purports to be the person who will finally love us like no other and grants us our wholeness, this creates a powerful and quick bond.

Sooner or later the mask will drop. The mirage can’t continue, and the narcissistic behaviour starts to appear.

Far from being the saviour of our deficiencies, insecurities or things in our life that we feel like we can’t generate for ourselves, the narcissist now switches and starts attacking these things.

So, the person who was loving, romantic and truly was seeing you and being there for you, now starts emotionally and literally criticising, rejecting, abandoning and punishing you.

He or she will start messing with your head and emotions and start sucking resources from your life. The entitlement becomes apparent; the relationship becomes less about you and so much more about what the narcissist is or isn’t getting.

By remaining attached, you will be trauma bonded beyond description, fighting with insanity trying to get sanity, safety and comfort. Yet, every time you try to force the narcissist to be healthy, they will line you up and damage you even more ferociously.

Now you’re on a sinking ship, trying to salvage what you can, whilst the toxic levels of trauma and stress in your being reach a critical mass, breaking down your nervous system health, sanity and emotional structures until you literally feel like you are crumbling.

Your capacity to be able to deal with virtually anything becomes severely diminished.

Narcissistic abuse, before awakening to the truth, is a one-way trip to your personal demise, on so many levels and can even become extremely dangerous for you personally, as well as seriously impacting those you love.

What is the lesson in this?

At the Quantum Truth level, the message is clear – “Let go and heal”, that’s what this soul contract was always about.

 

How To Reverse This

There is no way you can engage with a narcissist and get relief and emancipation from this.

True evolution from this is an inside job.

The narcissist is not your solution. You are, and this requires detaching, facing and doing the necessary healing within yourself.

This is a make or break deal.

If you really get this now and understand, please pause this video and write below, “I’m turning inwards to become my own true saviour now!”

This is vital, because the breakdown either continues and increases, or the breakdown transforms into an incredible breakthrough of personal evolution – where you can heal and claim your true essence which is: self-love, self-worth and the sanctity of your own soul, emotions and life.

I hope that this has helped you understand how the narcissist has, or does, rip your life apart, and has started to grant you the hope that there is a true solution to get up and out of this.

I really want you to know that there is a definitive way to heal and release yourself from all of the symptoms of narcissistic abuse, as well as never being susceptible to having your soul, heart and life torn to pieces again.

It is such a beautiful feeling when you realise that you have made it through to this level!

I can’t wait to help you get there!

The best way that I can help you get there, is by you joining my Free Masterclass. If you didn’t make it, you can watch the replay, by clicking this link.

I can’t recommend enough that you do this!

Because in this free event you will learn about the exact step-by-step process, which has proven successful for thousands of people from over 120 different countries, to help you make a full Thriver Recovery too.

And, if you enjoyed this video please give it a thumbs up and please know that if you subscribe to my channel, you will be automatically notified when my two new episodes are released each week.

And as always, I look forward to your comments and questions below.

 

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The Trauma Is In The Body … Not The Brain!

The Trauma Is In The Body … Not The Brain!

 

In today’s Thriver TV episode I deeply explain to you the truth about trauma.

Trauma is not logical, trauma is emotional.  The brain follows the body – always.

You cannot think your way out of your suffering or the devastation and intense challenges with a narcissist, therefore you can’t heal for real from narcissistic abuse by using your mind.

But there is good news – a way to not only release the trauma inside of you but also to access the shortest, most direct and powerful passage through to calm, aligned, powerful thoughts that will lead you out of abuse and into your new life.

 

 

Video Transcript

Today’s Thriver TV may help you understand trauma at a level that changes everything.

And not only changes your understanding of it but also makes an incredible difference regarding how you can heal from it.

These revolutionary understandings are what have made the difference between people merely managing abuse and trauma systems, or truly recovering from them.

Before I share this incredibly vital information with you, I would just like to take a moment to thank everybody who has subscribed to my channel for supporting the Thriver mission, and for those of you who haven’t yet, please do and if you like this episode also make sure that you like and share it.

Trauma Doesn’t Reside In Our Brain

I really want you to understand that, yes, our brain is severely affected by trauma, however, that is not the seat of where our trauma is.

Trauma is not logical, trauma is emotional.

It is crucial for you to understand that when we think, talk and research, this cognitive part of our brain is not in contact with our limbic and emotional systems where our trauma is stored.

Let’s say these following statements together;

“I think devastated.”

“I think horrified.”

“I think powerless.”

All of these statements are coming from the cognitive frontal part of our brain, which is not in contact with our visceral experience inside our body.

It’s our internal experience that is driving our life, that is shaping it as the people we are, because it is responsible for what we believe about ourselves, life and others.

We think that how we feel is because of our thinking, yet the real truth is our thinking follows our feeling always.

When we go back to those three statements that we just said, our ‘thinking’ has nothing to do with these feelings. We know that these statements should be, ‘I feel devastated’, ‘I feel horrified’, ‘I feel powerless’.

Why? Because these states are feelings, they’re not ‘thinkings’.

The way we are thinking is because these feelings are happening as our inner experience.

 

The Brain Follows The Body Always

To understand the body brain connection, we need to realise how vitally our feelings control our consciousness, and therefore our thinking.

When we are experiencing the visceral emotional hijacking of trauma, what we discover is that our thinking is not calm, measured and capable of finding solutions to the feelings that we’re experiencing.

Rather, we are likely to be thrown into uncontrollable bouts of “stinking thinking”. What we discover is that our thinking is stuck in the matching experience of our inner feelings. And yet, we try so valiantly to change our feelings in our body by trying to force our brain into healthier ways of thinking.

But we just can’t consistently access and then continue to hold saner thinking. And maybe no matter how hard we try, we just keep defaulting back feeling hopeless, helpless and powerless. Then we think, ‘this is just our lot’ and we try fruitlessly to get ourselves out of what seems like a completely traumatising situation, with no end to it.

This is normal. And this is why it is so usual to wonder ‘what on earth is wrong with me? Why can’t I get it through my head that this person is no good for me, is destroying me, and that I need to get away and stay away?’ And we wonder when we actually do crawl away and stay away, why is it that our head keeps defaulting back to all of the thoughts of the trauma, of what happened, and what we could have done differently to not have lived through what we did.

It’s common to have not just lingering thoughts of regrets, heartbreak, remorse, powerlessness, grief and such; it’s also a huge battle just trying to regain and rebuild your life. The reason for this is because your brain is following your body.

When there is trauma stuck in your body, in your visceral experience, in your limbic emotional systems, this is hijacking the integrity of your Being. It affects your consciousness and the ability for you to open up and access relief, resolution, healing, evolution, solution, and expansion.

All these things have been shut down.

It is simply not available at the level of consciousness that your internal trauma is generating for your brain. You’ve been thrown into the back part of your brain, the amygdala, which is purely focused on survival. This is not a place where a connection to The Field (which is all of life) in solution based, supportive, powerful and even miraculous ways, is available.

When we are not Thriving as a result of not understanding the body brain connection, it means that we are trapped in our primitive brain suffering intense traumatic feelings and thoughts that set up a horrifying peptide addiction.

Until we understand how and why we need to make the shift to put the body in front of the brain, it truly is a prison with no escape.

 

The Shift Into Our Body

The complete irony is that the one place we need to go to the most, is the place that we’ve all been programmed to stay out of.

Self-partnering is the only true way home to come back into our own bodies with love and devotion to do the inner healing work to find, load up, release and reprogram our trauma, so that we live free of it.

When we do this, we discover that those feelings of being devastated, horrified and powerless no longer exist. When we check into our body, instead there is a feeling of calm, warmth and even hope and power. Stunningly we discover that we can experience these feelings without even having to have any physical evidence in the world outside us to provide us with these feelings.

This is when we have started to take our power back.

We realise that we literally are Grand Creators who through our visceral emotional experience Be-come the generation of the life that we wish to live. And we may not know it at first, but when we start becoming an emotional experience inside our being, we discover organically that inspiration, hope, power, solutions, and things and people outside of us start reflecting back ‘more of the same’.

It’s then that we realise how much power we have in the creation of our life process. We also awaken to realise that when we were battling a traumatised visceral experience, trying to get things and people outside of ourselves to change or soothe us in order to try to produce better feelings, that it didn’t durably work.

It’s so ironic that the training that we had to self-avoid and self-abandon, such as don’t think about that, distract yourself, get someone to love you to try to take the pain away, eat that food, smoke that cigarette, drink that alcohol, take that pill, jump on social media, watch TV, all meant that our inner trauma remained screaming, was ignored and just got bigger and bigger.

Yet, when we went inside with love and devotion and used an effective quantum tool to reach, release and reprogram our trauma, we discovered the love that we’ve been looking for all along – the devotion, commitment and consistency to continually free ourselves of trauma and remember the incredible Quantum Creators that we really are.

This is only possible when we self-partner ourselves from within.

 

The Relief Of Self-Partnering

You may have seen that Emma Watson has been talking recently about her experience in being happily self-partnered. There are people who have criticised this, saying that it’s an excuse to try to feel better whilst being single and that people can’t be complete if single or that they’re single because they may not be able to connect to other people in healthy ways.

Nothing could be further from the truth than these assumptions. The greatest benefit of being self-partnered is that finally, you understand the body brain connection, and you are doing the work of meeting and being with yourself in a deep intimate way so that you can heal, release and self-soothe whatever your traumatic inner experiences have been.

And what you will discover is when you do that, your brain will automatically follow your body.

You will become wise, powerful, centered, solid, calm and able to access solutions, possibilities, expansion and even miracles.

That is what self-partnering in a quantum way produces when you are prepared to meet the trauma in your body, be with it with love and unconditionally and then release it. It’s not just the ultimate act of self-partnering, it’s the true way to generate your personal evolution.

Which is the true reason we are here to wake up to.

Does this make sense to you?

Can you understand now how problematic and even impossible it is to try to think our way out of trauma?

If so, I want you to write below, “I’ve woken up!”

So now, if you want to learn how to do that in safe and effective, powerful and profoundly liberating ways, then come with me into my free webinar, so that I can show you exactly how to get your brain to follow your body healthily.

You can do this by clicking this link – free webinar. 

I hope that you enjoyed this Thriver TV episode, and if you’d like to see more of them please make sure that you subscribe to my channel. Also, click like if you enjoyed this and share with your friends and family so that we can help other people wake up to the truth.

And as always, I can’t wait to join in with your comments and questions below.

Also, Aussie peeps, my live OZ Tour, where I get to join you in person, is coming up very quickly. There are only a few limited tickets left and you can claim yours here: melanietoniaevans.com/oztour

 

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