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Divorce Support Groups: How to Find the Right One for You

Divorce Support Groups: How to Find the Right One for You

Divorce Support Groups help you deal with the pain and loss of the marriage and support a healthy recovery. There are several benefits to divorce support groups, but finding the right one is more than a matter of location.

The post Divorce Support Groups: How to Find the Right One for You appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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Lone red Christmas stocking signifying the first Christmas after divorce.

Surviving the Holidays after Divorce

If you’re dreading all the holiday cheer and festivities that go along with the season, here are some tips to make more tolerable.

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Accelerate Healing After Divorce

Openness And Acceptance: Qualities That Accelerate Healing After Divorce

Accelerate Healing After Divorce

 

Before my divorce, I was not a very open person. In other words, I had very little interest in new experiences and I rarely thought “outside the box” that was my world. I liked tradition and predictability and didn’t like anyone messing with the life I had built for myself and my family.

Needless to say, I had a hard time accepting and healing from my divorce. The less open a person is to change and thinking “outside the box”, the more difficult they will find it to adjust when someone screws with the life they have designed for themselves. In this article, I want to share with you things I’ve learned over the years that will help you become more open and accepting of change, whether that change is of your choosing or not.

Qualities That Accelerate Healing After Divorce

Try Something New:

You may feel as if something new has been forced upon you and the last thing you need is “something new.” You are wrong, though. Now is the time to become an explorer. Your life is in transition, like it or not, so you may as well take control of where you will end up by being open to all possibilities. Do something you’ve always wanted to do but never thought yourself capable. You are both capable of doing it and enjoying it.

I have a friend who went to Spain for a month after her divorce…ALONE. I started my own business after 14-years of being a stay-at-home Mom and had to make “cold calls.” That was so out of my comfort zone! But, you know what, it set me on the path to becoming who I am today, a woman who is secure in her ability to do whatever I choose to do.

Learn To Give And Take:

Let go of your inflexibility. People who are not open to change are generally inflexible toward others and their differences. If your ex has turned into someone you no longer know, instead of doing battle with him on every issue, become more flexible…willing to give and take. Be open to suggestions, willing to consider and deal with something that would usually cause you discomfort. Being flexible will make others more likely to give in when an issue is really important to you.

I used to stand, staunchly on my principles and beliefs, regardless of how skewed they were. It’s probably one thing that played a role in my divorce. I learned just because I believed something, didn’t make it true. I learned that by being open to new ideas, examining my deeply held beliefs and being willing to give and take even if I thought the choice may be wrong. The cool thing, most of the choices I questioned turned out to be the right choice!

Take Stock Of What You Are Missing:

If you refuse to try new things or fight accepting change as it comes, you are limiting the experiences you can have in life. Divorce is an opportunity that can open one’s mind. It may be an opportunity that comes with emotional pain but it is an opportunity nonetheless. Be open to the chances for change and learning that come along with this opportunity. If you permit, you can become receptive to change and more understanding of who you are and what you want.

The post Openness And Acceptance: Qualities That Accelerate Healing After Divorce appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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Financial Matters During Divorce: Things to Consider

Financial Matters During Divorce: Things to Consider

If you are going through a divorce, it’s important to understand that this is already a difficult time in your life, even if you want it or you think it is for the best. Remember to take step back and understand that financial matters during divorce can have a huge impact on you for the rest of your life.

The post Financial Matters During Divorce: Things to Consider appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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Kid’s Clothes and Divorce: Dirty, Clean Mixed With Dirty, or Missing!

Kid’s Clothes and Divorce: Dirty, Clean Mixed With Dirty, or Missing!

They either come back, dirty, clean mixed in with the dirty or, missing. How I solved the kid’s clothes and divorce saga.

The post Kid’s Clothes and Divorce: Dirty, Clean Mixed With Dirty, or Missing! appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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Negotiating Holiday Gift Giving After Divorce

Negotiating Holiday Gift Giving After Divorce

The best gifts you can give have nothing to do with price tags and are all about time and love.

The post Negotiating Holiday Gift Giving After Divorce appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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Infidelity Affect the Outcome of Your Divorce

Will Infidelity Affect the Outcome of Your Divorce?

Infidelity Affect the Outcome of Your Divorce

 

Infidelity is a common cause of divorce throughout North America. However, the effect that an affair might have on the outcome of your divorce case will vary depending on your jurisdiction. Different laws set out different standards for how infidelity impacts a divorce, and the following is some information about adultery and some examples of how your divorce outcome might be swayed if your spouse was unfaithful.

Adultery as Grounds for Divorce

For a long time, a spouse had to state “traditional” grounds for divorce that were based on marital misconduct, such as adultery. While all jurisdictions in North America now allow no-fault divorce based on the irretrievable breakdown of a marriage, some jurisdictions still allow spouses to claim fault-based grounds for divorce. In many cases, fault-based grounds can eliminate the need to be separated for a period of time before obtaining a divorce.

If you allege infidelity as grounds for a divorce, your spouse will have the opportunity to contest your allegations. If your spouse does contest, you will need to sufficiently prove the adultery occurred to obtain your divorce. This does not mean that you need to catch your spouse in the actual adulterous act, though you do need to present credible evidence that infers they were engaged in extramarital sexual conduct. Such evidence may include:

  • Statements from friends, family members, or other witnesses who knew about the affair
  • Credit card charges for gifts, hotel rooms, romantic meals, trips, or other expenses related to the affair
  • Emails or text messages
  • Not coming home often or another departure from normal routines without explanation
  • Seeing your spouse with another person

If you are unable to present evidence to support your claims of infidelity, the court can deny your petition for a divorce based on those grounds. You might need to file for no-fault divorce, which might require a period of separation before the case can get underway.

Adultery in a No-Fault Divorce

Many people file for no-fault divorce because it seems simpler or because their jurisdiction does not allow fault-based grounds. In this situation, infidelity may or may not play a role in the divorce process. While you can end your marriage without the court considering infidelity, your spouse’s conduct could still come into play when deciding certain issues in your divorce.

Property Distributions

In some cases, your spouse might have wasted marital assets on an affair. If you have records showing your spouse racked up credit card debt or otherwise spent money on gifts, meals, vacations, or other expenses related to their infidelity, you can claim your spouse wrongfully wasted assets that were rightfully half yours. In this type of situation, the court can decide to award you a larger property award to make up for the funds your spouse wasted for extramarital purposes.

Spousal Support Awards

Whether infidelity affects spousal support (or alimony) awards will depend on the law and policies in your jurisdiction. The laws can vary significantly, including the following:

  • Some jurisdictions prohibit judges from considering infidelity when it comes to spousal support, as the focus should be on the financial need of the recipient spouse
  • Some jurisdictions prevent a spouse from receiving alimony if they were unfaithful
  • Some jurisdictions entitle a spouse to a higher spousal support award if their spouse was unfaithful

It truly depends on where the divorce is occurring, and a knowledgeable divorce lawyer in your jurisdiction can advise you how infidelity might affect your alimony award.

Child Custody

Some spouses might think their children should not be around a parent who sets an immoral example by having affairs. However, a spouse’s infidelity does not make them automatically unfit to parent under the eyes of the law. Instead, the court will consider what is in the best interests of the child when determining custody arrangements. Some factors the court might consider include:

  • Is the adulterous spouse engaged in affairs with numerous people at the same time?
  • Does your spouse expose your child to inappropriate situations as a result of his affairs?
  • Is the adulterous behavior accompanied by substance abuse, being gone for long hours, or other behavior that puts the child at risk of harm or neglect?

If the court believes that your spouse’s parenting abilities are impacted by the circumstances accompanying the infidelity, it might impact the custody determination.

Resolving Your Divorce Case

Even if you are rightfully angry and hurt by your spouse’s infidelity, this should not be the driving force leading to a certain outcome of your divorce. Family courts encourage divorcing spouses to focus on resolution instead of blame and fault, as this often makes it easier to compromise and reach out-of-court agreements. In some cases, raising the issue of infidelity can improve your divorce outcome while, in others, it might simply distract from the important issues and not impact the outcome at all.

If you are filing for divorce because your husband was unfaithful, it is important to examine all of your options and strategies with an experienced divorce lawyer. This way, you can take the best approach to ensure the best possible outcome of your case.

The post Will Infidelity Affect the Outcome of Your Divorce? appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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Adult Children of Divorce and Thanksgiving: The “Giving” Never Ends!

Adult Children of Divorce and Thanksgiving: The “Giving” Never Ends!

I’m not sure why it happens, but I know many grown children of divorce who still feel this way—make each parent happy first, deal with your needs second. And, still, it’s never enough.

The post Adult Children of Divorce and Thanksgiving: The “Giving” Never Ends! appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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How to Handle Divorce in a Family Business

How to Handle Divorce in a Family Business

Here are some tips on how to handle a divorce when your rely on your partner in a family business.

The post How to Handle Divorce in a Family Business appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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How to Put the “Happy” Back Into the Holidays After Divorce

How to Put the “Happy” Back Into the Holidays After Divorce

Truth be told, a divorce can shake your foundation and make you question your own judgment. You might find yourself second-guessing yourself and feeling sad over the holidays if you’re recently divorced or separated from your children, even for a short period of time.  

The post How to Put the “Happy” Back Into the Holidays After Divorce appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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