It can be a shock when you realise just how entitled narcissists are. Of course, there are people who have healthy self-interest and know how to get their needs met.
Narcissists, however, are not displaying healthy deservedness. Rather they are a model of obscene self-entitlement, causing great pain, destruction and devastation to others.
Why do narcissists act in this way? Why are narcissists totally oblivious to anybody else’s emotions, needs, values or rights?
Discover the answers to these questions and the signs to look out for in this video.
I know that many of you in this community are nice and humble people.
Maybe you are totally happy for other people to take the limelight.
Maybe, you have even secretly admired people who seem to be confident and are able to get their needs met.
Yet, what seems to be confidence and healthy deservedness, takes a sinister turn when we start experiencing just how entitled narcissists are.
That’s what I want to talk about today, exactly why narcissists are as entitled as they are, and how this behaviour manifests, as well as how it affects you.
But before we get into this conversation, I’d like to thank you for subscribing to my channel and supporting the Thriver Mission.
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Alright, so let’s start peeling this topic back so that you can understand why narcissists are so entitled!
I Deserve It!
Narcissists believe that other people should grant them what they want and that they are entitled to have specific and special treatment.
One of the earliest warning signs that you may discover about this is how in a group or a social setting the narcissist expects to be the centre of attention, and if someone else is receiving energy from people, that the narcissist will appear uncomfortable, anxious and even angry.
He or she may discredit this person later and will usually attack you if you were impressed with this person or granted them energy at the time.
Narcissistic supply needs to be regulated so closely and ferociously, that if somebody else is taking energy then the narcissist perceives this person as a threat. If this person continues to obtain what the narcissist believes is his or her share of supply, then the narcissist will desire to eliminate the threat.
Now let’s look at how a narcissist treats you in relation to entitlement.
A narcissist believes that he or she is entitled to all the goodies that you can provide.
What this means is: “You will do what I want you to do. You must grant me your energy, attention, resources, contacts and money when I ask for them and want them.”
The narcissist will also expect the following: “You are supposed to grant me what I want even when I’m not asking for it. You are supposed to just serve me unwaveringly.”
Narcissistic entitlement is certainly not about “healthy deservedness.”
Those who feel that they healthily deserve are whole and solid on the inside already. They are not suffering from the emptiness, neediness and desperation that leads to the non-holistic, non-ecological system of wanting attention and stuff.
Narcissists are in dire lack on the inside. They feel empty. They don’t feel they deserve the good stuff simply for being themselves, because there is no real self on the inside. The narcissist divorced their Inner Being believing that it was ineffectual, inadequate and unacceptable.
As a result of living through the persona of a fictitious False Self, the narcissist must lie, manipulate, intimidate, charm or steal to get their share of the goodies.
The real truth to all of this is that it doesn’t matter what a narcissist gains, the temporary relief is short-lived. Sooner rather than later, the narcissist is back to feeling the inner empty gnawing of his or her internal self-critic, which is a wasteland of a crippled and disowned True Self.
This is why the narcissist is always trying to get or gain something to try to self-medicate away these feelings.
How Narcissists Get Away With It
It is unlikely that the narcissist initially acted entitled, because you may never have teamed up with him or her if this happened. Rather, the narcissist may have appeared to be incredibly giving, caring and generous.
After a narcissist has secured you as a source of narcissistic supply, they are incredibly skilled at testing your boundaries bit by bit. He or she may make a request seeing if you will go along with it, or not. If you do speak up, he or she may say that they were joking, or didn’t mean it, and wait for another opportunity to see if they can push your boundary and get through it.
For many of us, this wasn’t too hard to do.
Maybe we were brought up in families where our boundaries were broken down from the time we were very young.
We were used to saying “yes” and going along in order not to risk the feelings of C. R. A. P. – criticism, rejection, abandonment and punishment, and we were used to handing our power away to people to try to keep them happy enough to love and care for us.
Therefore, in our adult relationships it can be very familiar to try to keep the peace, at the cost of our rights, values and needs.
If the narcissist in your life is a family member, then it is likely that this has always been your “normal”. You are used to acquiescing to the people who you want to love you because it’s all you’ve ever known.
Yet, familiar or not, it is intensely painful being with a person who is in it all for themselves, and completely and utterly capable of taking all that they can at your expense, as well as your Life Force and Soul.
Of course, there have been times where you have tried to say “no” and received the horrific reactions that narcissists are prone to when their False Self isn’t adequately appeased.
Disagreeing with the narcissistic version of life which is total entitlement to your agreement without question, can send the narcissist into a spin where he or she lashes out in cruel and conscienceless ways.
The narcissist may have asked for money or something else that completely goes against your grain, yet the fear of the repercussions, or the losing of this person, because he or she has threatened abandonment if you don’t comply, has made you hand over many parts of yourself to your detriment.
Possibly, the narcissist feels entitled to control you and own you. He or she may be accusing you of all sorts of terrible things that they purport are disloyal to him or her. He or she may even feel entitled to your passwords, putting tracking devices on your car or phone, or demanding that you give a full report every day of who you spoke to and spent time with.
He or she may even convince you that if you love them and care about them that you will comply with these demands.
Until you know that this sort of pathological jealousy is not ever acceptable, or something that can be appeased, reasoned with or healed in a narcissist, you may hang on trying to do just that.
Quite possibly, the narcissist is practicing exactly these acts of infidelity and affairs themself, which commonly narcissists feel entitled to indulge in, and yet lying to you or purporting to give it up and do the right thing.
Maybe he or she is even feigning remorse, or twisting things around blaming you for it all, and now you are trying to get the narcissist to see how insane this is. Or maybe you are taking responsibility for the narcissist’s betrayals.
All of these things will allow the narcissist to continue doing what he or she is doing, possibly whilst you are believing this behaviour can stop.
The Signs That You Are With An Entitled Narcissist
The following are signs that you are being abused by an entitled person:
- You start to feel guilty, wrong or criticised for having your own needs and interests.
- You get less and less support from this person.
- You feel like you are walking on broken glass and that what you do is never good enough.
- If you ask for anything from this person, they become aggravated, angry or anxious and/or won’t deliver these promises or do things for you in a timely or proper manner.
- Anything this person does do for you is held against you as an example or a punishment regarding what you don’t do for them.
- Your energy, health, resources and Life Force are diminishing.
- Your needs are invalidated and unmet.
- You are supposed to hear out and understand everything about how this person isn’t happy yet are totally unable to voice your own concerns.
- If this person is having a bad day, they make sure that your day is equally as bad or even worse.
- You are accused of all the things that the narcissist’s entitlement causes him or her to do.
The Devastation of Entitlement
Narcissistic entitlement is only the beginning of the pathological issues that are happening here.
It’s devastating that incredibly malicious and even criminal acts of entitlement can be twisted around, and that you are the one smeared and discredited with them.
Narcissistic double standards are another part of the narcissist’s entitlement.
Such as I can be late or unreliable but how dare anyone else treat me like that.
Or, I can talk to you however I feel, but don’t you dare talk to me like that.
One of the most perverse and dangerous aspects of narcissism is that he or she will feel entitled to hurt you if the fragile ego is not served by you adequately. As far as the narcissist’s disordered thinking goes, if you did not do the right thing by them, then you must suffer. Revenge is a very common by-product of narcissistic abuse.
This bends people’s non-narcissistic brains – until they realise that there is not a real, rational person inside the narcissist doing this stuff.
So, this I can’t recommend enough, if you are painfully being emptied out by a narcissist’s entitlement – let go, turn inwards and heal up those parts of you that have been familiar with this, and/or are unconsciously susceptible to this.
Then I promise you that you will go free into healthy equal relationships of true mutuality and respect as well as genuine love.
That’s exactly what I did, I healed my stuff with the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP), which so many people in this Community have also done.
If you are at the stage where you want to directly and deeply reprogram your subconscious and heal from narcissistic relationships for real, NARP is a proven and powerful way to achieve this.
Okay, I really hope that this video has helped, and please remember to give it a like if it spoke to you.
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