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Celebrate Your Divorce

7 Reasons to Celebrate Your Divorce AND New Year’s Eve!

Celebrate Your Divorce

 

There are silver linings to divorce. As a matter of fact, for some, divorce is the icing on the cake of their lives.

In many cases, there are a range of reasons why divorce is good and many times when divorce is best.

And even if divorce left you heartbroken, there is still reason to be thankful, regardless of whether it was what you wanted or not.

And that’s why I’ve put together a list of reasons to not only celebrate divorce but, New Year’s Eve also. I hope to see you out and about!

7 Reasons to Celebrate Your Divorce AND New Year’s Eve!

1. Marriage may give you a sense of security but divorce gives you a new lease on life.

Staying in a bad marriage can provide security because at least you know how your life will go. But getting a divorce gives you hope ― the hope to be who you want to be, the hope to be happy and the hope to find someone else to love.

2. Being a single parent is better than modeling an unhealthy relationship.

If you’re a parent with young kids, getting a divorce is better than staying in a bad marriage because these are formative years for them. They will likely seek out and emulate the types of relationships they see modeled. I want my relationships to be happy, healthy and mutually respectful so that my children never settle for anything else in their own lives.

3. Divorce clears the way for you to meet the right partner.

Divorce is painful but it’s kind of like pulling off a Band-Aid: The anticipation is horrible but once it’s over, it’s pure relief. Bonus: It allows you the freedom to meet the person you were meant to be with!

4. You get to focus on you for once.

After divorce, you find yourself again and fall in love with the wonderful attributes that make you, you. As a mother especially, you can parent with just your own mama instincts and all your love and energy can flow into your little one(s). You find genuine peace and happiness and an appreciation for life that may have been sucked out of you during your bad marriage.

5. A happier parent is a better parent.

Learning to let go and step into the unknown may be the single most important thing you can do for your own sanity and the sanity of those around you. Divorce proves that you have the courage to live a life of happiness. And if you’re happier, you’ll be a far more effective parent.

6. You can devote your energy to other important areas of your life.

If you have done all the work of trying to make the marriage better and nothing is changing, finding the courage to leave and move forward pays off in the long run. The payoff? You stop putting all your energy into a relationship that no longer works and put more energy into yourself and your kids.

7. You lose a spouse but you gain happiness.

Divorce brought me happiness. Life is far too short to spend it immersed in an unhealthy relationship.

The post 7 Reasons to Celebrate Your Divorce AND New Year’s Eve! appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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tips to get you through new year

5 Tips To Get You Through New Year’s Eve After a Stressful Holiday Season

tips to get you through new year's eve

 

Whether you’re separated, currently going through a divorce or the ink on your divorce agreement has been dry for a while… the time between Christmas/Hanukkah and New Year’s Eve can be an extremely difficult time of the year!!

The holidays are physically and emotionally draining. We face so many stressful obligations…all masked by the magical sparkle of Joyful Celebration!

Celebrations where we most likely ate and drank too much and ended up getting very little rest!!

This all takes a tremendous toll on us.

Chances are we also got caught up in the whirlwind of shopping for special gifts, wrapping, cooking, baking, decorating, entertaining and even traveling… which inevitably resulted in our wallets being as depleted as our energy levels. And, the numbers on the bathroom scale rising right along with our stress levels.

Let’s face it, separation and divorce (all on their own) can have the very same unpleasant results like those mentioned above. Therefore, this time of the year can quickly become anything but Wonderful!!

So, unless you’re a fan of self-torture, now is the time to be extra kind to yourself. And turning to more alcohol or more food for comfort and joy will only make you feel worse in the long run.

Remember, it is most important to choose your methods of Post-Holiday-Self-Care WITH Care.

5 Tips To Get You Through New Year’s Eve

1. Take time for yourself.

After all the celebratory chaos, it’s time to slow everything down. Go for a walk in nature and turn your face up to the sun. Breathe deeply. Soak in a hot Epsom salt bath with some essential oils.

Sit quietly and just breathe.

TRY NOT TO “DO” – “WATCH” – “READ” or “LISTEN TO” – ANYTHING!

Create an environment free from noise or other distractions (even people). Just for a little while each day. Detox. This may sound silly, but if you can take some alone time to refresh and replenish for a short time each day, you will be amazed by the many benefits you’ll begin to notice.

It’s so important to regain our balance after being so depleted. When we’re fragile, negativity can take hold– But, once we strengthen our inner fortitude, we regain our resilience. Remember to continue taking some alone time each day in the new year!

2. If you’re sad cry if you’re angry punch a pillow.

Everybody seems to be a bit more emotional at this time of the year. And you have more than enough reasons to be feeling some pretty intense ups and downs. So, give yourself permission to feel your feelings. But also be smart!

Now that we realize we may be feeling extra sensitive during this time, try to do what makes you happy and avoid what makes you sad.

If watching those sappy Hallmark love stories makes you melancholy… don’t watch them.

If scrolling through Facebook and seeing everyone’s seemingly picture perfect life depresses you… take a break from FB. If it makes you happy to help others in need… take this time to volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter.

3. Have a plan.

New Year’s Eve is a difficult night for many people. Even people in happy marriages and good relationships. So, take the time to think about creative ways you can “celebrate” NYE in the most pleasant way possible. Whether you’ll be celebrating with your kids or they’ll be with their other parent, you have options.

Think outside the box!!

And remember there will always be another NYE next year. I’ve had my share of horrible NYEs and wonderful NYEs. So, if the best option you can come up with is going to bed early and sleeping through the ball drop… so be it. There’s always next year.

4. This too shall pass.

Even though separation and divorce suck, things will get better. I promise. February will follow January and winter will turn into spring. To everything, there is a season.

Life is full of challenges and victories. It is a circle of darkness into light. So, even though these may be particularly dark and difficult times, hang in there… because the sun will surely shine again, maybe more brightly than ever before.

5. You’re not alone.

Hopefully, it brings you a bit of comfort during these difficult times to know there are many of us who are here for you. Some of us are right alongside you in the deep, dark trenches of separation and divorce and some have finally crawled our way out. And we’ll reach out our hand to help pull you up and out as well.

Yes, the time between Christmas/Hanukkah and New Year’s Eve can be an extremely difficult time of the year… but it can also be a time for us to cultivate our inner strength, to grow and develop some positive coping skills. It also gives us the opportunity to focus on all the promising possibilities ahead in the new year.

Happy 2020!!

The post 5 Tips To Get You Through New Year’s Eve After a Stressful Holiday Season appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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