Toxic Shame and Trauma: How Are They Linked?

Hanging On To Pain vs Letting It Go

All of our recent article conversations have in many ways been leading up to this one. It’s a big conversation, a powerful one and an incredibly simple one. What is difficult about this conversation is that most people struggle to accept the simplicity.

That is my major challenge today – putting a Quantum Spiritual Practice into simple terms for you, so that you can start to resonate with it and embody what it means.

Ultimately all Quantum Spiritual practices have to be experienced to know they work. Theories are mere information. Wisdom is different. It is knowledge applied, and having the courage to try the theory on.

In this article today, I will refer to Let Go and Letting Go with capitals. It deserves that type of significance.

You will see why.

 

Hanging On To Pain

It’s very human to hang on to pain. It’s incredibly ‘normal’ to do this – but what are the ramifications?

It hurts, it drains our life-force, and it robs us of joy, progress and love. Sometimes we may feel free, but it keeps turning up like a toxic invader permeating our memory, emotions, feeling and thoughts.

Hanging on to pain SUCKS!

So why do we do it?

For several reasons. Firstly because we have been programmed and indoctrinated in our victimised culture to believe that we are small, powerless, wronged, and don’t have the ability to rise above and generate better circumstances for ourselves.

These are all to do with ‘separation consciousness’ beliefs of “life happens to me from outside of me and I am at the whim of everything and everyone else. I am a victim”.

That’s the first powerful reason.

The next is because we feel as though hanging on to the pain grants us safety.

Our ego (Edging God Out – logical survival programs) convinces us that if we internalise fear and trauma, this acts as a barrier; a shield protecting us from bad things happening to us again.

The other not so obvious reason is because staying traumatised may get us sympathy, love and attention from others. It can also allow us not to heal, rise and get on with our lives, meaning we don’t have to risk expanding and failing. We may tell ourselves “This is my life now; it can never improve.”

I know many of you who are hanging on to the pain may want to throttle me right now, and I understand, because I promise you I did the same for years. You feel like what I have said is so unfair. And of course, a HUGE part of you wants to be free of this pain because pain is horrible.

Maybe you want someone or something else to rescue you from this pain, but salvation never durably happens. It’s actually not meant to, but more about this later.

You may not believe it is possible to Let Go.

Or you may believe Letting Go of the pain is somehow excusing a perpetrator’s behaviour and granting them a free pass. Surely, they MUST be held accountable before you can feel better?

Quantumly, none of these examples are even a TINY bit true, and there are even more reasons why these are all false premises, which I’m going to get to very soon.

What I have found – in my own personal experience and through helping many other beautiful souls Let Go – is that those who want to let go of the pain, by that sincere intention start doing it. Those who don’t let go of the pain, don’t want to let go of the pain. Often there are deep unconscious reasons for this that require healing.

In today’s article I’d like to help you get clear about all the programming that has not allowed you to Let Go, and the Quantum understandings that will help you achieve this.

 

What Does Letting Go Mean?

Letting Go means meeting, holding and blessing the painful energy inside of you, and then surrendering it up to your Higher Power/ Source /All That Is – whatever your version of a Higher Power is.

You and this Higher Power are One, as the Higher non-logical, energetic part of yourself. Without using this Higher Power access you have no ability to actually Let Go, because the Divine Consciousness cannot take over and heal the things you cannot even imagine healing. This leaves you with internal trauma trapped inside you, continuing to hurt you.

The hardest people to heal from abuse are those who are determined there is NO Higher Power. Narcissists fall into this category because they believe THEY are the Higher Power – their logical egoic self.

For good people who get all funky about a religious aspect of Source, I say to them “Look at nature and all the Creation around you! Call it the Universe, Creation or even Bob if you like. Acknowledge this or any religious deity. It doesn’t matter. It is simply a surrendering to a belief that you are connected to something Greater than your normal logical self – a Divine Force of Higher Consciousness.”

Okay… now back to Letting Go.

Where do you need to let go from? Let’s investigate…

 


 

 

Letting Go Is an Inside Job

Letting Go is not head work or logical work; it is emotional, somatic, meditative work, that is the work that speaks to your inner being, which is where the trauma is wedged.

The pain is INSIDE of you – it is NOT in your head.

Say after me “I feel traumatised, I feel hurt, I feel betrayed, I feel angry, I feel incensed, I feel heartbroken”.

Yes… this resonates.

Now replace the world ‘feel’ with ‘think’. “I think traumatised, I think hurt, I think betrayed, I think angry, I think incensed, I think heartbroken.”

Oops… that feels totally disconnected.

Feelings are inside you. Thoughts are ideas in your head. In fact, your thoughts follow your body – they are in response to your feelings. Trauma activates first, and then you have thoughts about it. You can’t think your way out of trauma because thoughts don’t address inside of you where the trauma is.

You can’t think Letting Go, you have to spiritually, somatically do it. This is only possible when you are in a meditative state, self-partnered with your attention inside of you.

Otherwise, it’s like trying to dial into a TV station from a radio channel.

You may think that it is impossible to Let Go, yet there are many energetic healers on the planet who can help you access your emotion-body to hand your trauma over. The good news is it’s very easy to perform Letting Go when you are shown how to do it.

My Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) teaches you this and how to do it at ANY time. It also grants an extra benefit as you are not only Letting Go of the trauma and giving it to Source, but also bringing down your Higher Self to fill up the space where the trauma once was.

This shifts you from the breakdown to the breakthrough, and from the lower, victimised, powerless self to the embodiment of the Higher, empowered Self. It is an energetic reuniting of you with your Higher Self and Source to become One again, in a powerful and fast way.

Talking to a therapist or friend is not inner work. Neither is researching all there is to know about narcissism or other conditions. Neither is categorising your trauma, analysing how it got there, or diagnosing the conditions you have now manifested because of what is still poisoning you internally.

Sadly, after relationship trauma, many people find themselves getting all sorts of diagnoses, and medications to treat these diagnoses. Yet, the trauma itself is never released or healed.

Years ago, after my total breakdown, I was medically diagnosed with brain damage and multiple other medical diagnoses which I was told would require me to be on anti-psychotic medication for the rest of my life.

The doctors were right. If I had hung on to the pain and trauma I absolutely could not have functioned.

However, I healed from all of those conditions as a result of Letting Go, because it was my trapped internal trauma making me sick. I also became healthier, calmer, more solid, capable and confident than I had ever been in my entire life.

I Thrived!

Please understand, in no way am I advocating coming off your medication. You must seek medical advice before making any changes with your medical plan. I am saying, maybe consider what it could be to go free from your conditions and truly live, rather than spending a lifetime of merely hoping to manage them.

Back to the point – healing is all to do with Letting Go from inside of you.

Let’s address some of the blocks stopping you doing this.

 

The Fear of Letting Go

Cultural programming tells us we will not be safe if we let go of the trauma of what happened to us.

The exact opposite is the truth. By not Letting Go we are stuck with the trauma wedged inside and this manifests as toxic breakdowns in every way imaginable – emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, financial.

Stuck internal trauma is responsible for every area of your life that doesn’t work. The existence of internal trauma telegraphs as negative emotion. E-motion is energy in motion – meaning the emotion is the unseen ‘fuel’ manifesting, attracting and participating in the matching real-life events.

For example, if you hope to stay safe from people who traumatise you by hanging on to the trauma of them, you will keep thinking about them. This retraumatises you and draws in other people who operate at the same vibration. You show up in life in traumatised ways that fuel your interactions with such people to be even more traumatising.

Hanging on to the pain creates you as an energetic victim to inner trauma, and means you live through even more of the matching ‘outer’, victimised events of trauma.

Imagine you are driving and skid off the road. If you panic and are triggered into terror of hitting a tree, your fearful focus on that tree means you are likely to steer into it. Whereas an untriggered person will be able to coolly and calmly respond in a way that avoids the tree.

The very same is true with our traumas. If we have released them, then we can much more easily recognise when something is wrong for us, avoid it, don’t choose it, participate with it or try to battle it into shape to be less traumatic.

This is because there is no longer any emotional charge within us – it’s gone. It’s not who we are BEING anymore.

Just by Letting Go. Without years of medications, therapy, talking and indulging in repeat stories about what happened to us.

TRULY!

Okay now lets look at the concept of not Letting Go of what someone did to you because this means they ‘get away with it’.

First of all – toxic people LOVE the fact that you are still hanging on to what happened.

Narcissists, as energy vampires, know EXACTLY how energetic laws work! They know that you not Letting Go of what they did to you means they OWN your soul. They get to CONTROL you and suck your life-force parasitically even if you never lay eyes on them again. Make no mistake they are feeding off your life-force.

Plus, by reliving your internal unreleased traumas, you are shooting yourself 1000 times with the same bullet the narcissist fired. You continue to do their abusive work for them!

Hanging on does not make this person pay, it grants them their most prized gift – the ego compliment that they were so significant that someone is continuing to be affected by them.

I hope you are starting to realise now that hanging on, really, really sucks.

But there is MORE!

Are you sitting down, because you really need to understand this…

You are taking this person’s karma for them.

It’s TRUE!

Because you have internalised the hurt of what they did to you, all the terrible energy repercussions boomerang back onto you.

YOU not them.

Let me explain Quantum Law. It’s absolute and ridiculously simple – ‘so within, so without‘. If you are internally BEING strong emotions of betrayal, resentment and injustice, then your outer world will deliver to you more events of betrayal, resentment and injustice.

Naturally, in this place, the abuser DOES get off for free. Every attempt you make to bring accountability and justice upon them fails, and the abuser appears to be skipping off into the sunset untouched – living an amazing life whilst you can barely get out of bed.

Quantum Law IS Source. This IS Your Higher Power. This system of ‘so within, so without’ is not done to punish you. In fact, this is all about Loving You.

Source declares – in Oneness WITH you – “Dear Soul, I adore you so much that I will grant you whatever it is that you are choosing to BE.”

If you decide to hold on to internal trauma for any reason at ALL, then that is what your Higher Power will respond to you with. However, if you Let Go and hand it back to your Higher Power, then you go free from your internal pain and Source responds accordingly.

There are many startling benefits.

If you Let Go of the trauma and surrender it over, with no need for remedy, answers or outcomes (these are lower vibrational requirements from the fearful Egoic mind), then you are emotionally free and have genuine peace inside.

Then things start happening outside that bring you MORE peace.

The Law is as absolute as gravity – it cannot operate in any other way.

And there is even MORE…

All of the repercussions from the narcissist’s toxic behaviour – that you were unknowingly bringing upon yourself – start leaving you and are returned to sender. The narcissist starts meeting their maker.

Source brings justice, through Quantum Law. it was never within your capacity to do this whilst being in trauma. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen this in mine and thousands of other people’s lives. After Letting Go of their internal trauma, things fall into place and the narcissist loses power and capacity – BIG time.

After all, it is a spiritual war that you are in and your winning strategy is Letting Go. ALL of your success comes from there.

Ships come in over smooth waters. Inspiration, synchronicity, support and miracles arise and arrive.

Source – which is Your Higher Self conjoined with you in Oneness – starts replicating in your outer life what you provided for your inner Being by Letting Go. There is space for freedom, success, truth, relief, love, energy, well-being, purpose and your Highest Potential to enter.

 


 

 

In Conclusion

I promise you this: when I hung on to the pain it ate me alive and I nearly died. My life is amazing now, ONLY because I Let Go, and continue to do so eternally.

I mean that literally – I will never stop Letting Go. This is why I Thrive. Thank goodness I have become a Letting Go Master, and helped others become the same.

The last few years have not been easy for many people. On a micro and macro scale there is much to Let Go of, and there will be much more to go, in order to truly break free.

I love the term Radical Forgiveness; it is another term for Letting Go. It doesn’t mean that you condone what happened to you. It means that you have set yourself free from it and let Source step in to handle everything, as it should be.

This doesn’t mean that you just say sing Kumbaya and ‘do’ nothing. You may stand up, take action, go to court, or do whatever it is that you feel called to do.

But remember the KEY – your super-weapon – is Letting Go. If you have handed over what ailed you, you are NOT in toxicity. You are clean, clear, effective and empowered.

Watch a False Self crumble when you take action when in Oneness with Source.

Radical forgiveness just happens as a result of Letting Go. It is organic and does not need to be directly strived for.

No longer in Quantum Healing do we say “I need to forgive Joe.” Rather, we say “I need to let go of the trauma inside of me related to Joe”. Then personal freedom, passage to your magnificent self and the best life you could imagine happens all by itself. Looking back at Joe, there is no emotional charge, no longing, no missing, no guilt, no regrets, no resentment and no pangs whatsoever about anything to do with him.

He doesn’t own your soul, and he is not your reality.

Then you know you have Let Go. You have achieved Radical Forgiveness. You have learned, elevated, healed and spiritually graduated. You have learned what it is to lose the small victimised self and claim your Higher Self, as the True Self and Life that you really were born to live.

Now… feel into hanging on.

Can you feel now how much this really, REALLY sucks?

I want to help you get out of this prison that nearly all of humanity are sadly stuck in. NARP has a whole Module (Module 3) with an intensive Workbook dedicated to Quantum Forgiveness. It’s beyond powerful. If you struggle with Letting Go, as many have said, “There is nothing that gave me the release like Module 3 did!”

Every other Module in NARP Lets Go of specific traumas, and every shift within the Modules re-programes you to accept and embody the Highest most Powerful part of you.

This is why NARP genuinely heals you like no other Program we know about!

Plus … I have 2 Quantum on-line events that I can’t wait to share with you!

On Valentine’s Day, my Live Manifesting 5D Love Relationships Event is for you if you are sick and tired of feeling unloved, unworthy of love, frustrated with your love options. If you deeply desire to become a person who can manifest conscious, authentic and truly fulfilling love, the information and powerful global healing in this Event can help you Let Go of the trauma that is getting in your way.

Then on Saturday 4th March, join me Live for my Freedom From Relationship Trauma And Toxic People Workshop. This interactive workshop also includes a beautiful and informative workbook, and of course you get to join me in a global healing specifically designed to free you from the trauma that is preventing you from living your best most fulfilling life, in authenticity, love and success WITHOUT fear, pain and abuse

If you can’t be with us Live for either event,  you will receive recordings.

So if you want to go Quantum with healing, because you are SICK of battling pain, then I can’t recommend these events enough for you. Let me show you how to quickly and easily Let Go – if you WANT this!

As always, I look forward to hearing from you in the comments below.

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