ECHO: Empowered Code For Healthy Outreach
Today I want to tell you about a very powerful tool that has had a major impact on the healing process in our Thriver Community.
I developed ECHO, the Empowered Code for Healthy Outreach, because I wanted to honour people who had been victimised so that they could share their story, but I wanted it to be in a healthy way so that they could be met and supported to turn within and self-partner and start powerfully healing.
ECHO takes you through a Three-Step Process that shows you how to share information in the best possible way to generate healing.
I know it will help you understand how and why, this one shift in the sharing of your pain, can have such a profound difference in how you can heal from abuse and painful relationships.
Video Transcript
Today I want to talk to you about an especially important topic.
It’s called ECHO.
Echo is an interesting “name” in narcissistic abuse communities. You may know of the myth of Narcissus and how Echo fell in love with him. Narcissus was obsessed and in love with his own reflection in the water, and starved Echo of his love, which caused her to wither away and die.
Today, that is not the echo I’m talking about.
The ECHO that I do want to share with you is about the Empowered Code for Healthy Outreach.
Why am I talking about ECHO with you today?
Because understanding ECHO, will change the way that you reach out for help with narcissistic abuse, and deliver you powerfully onto the path of your true healing.
As you watch this episode, I promise you’ll understand why.
How Did ECHO Come About?
ECHO was originally the NARP Member’s Forum Code of Conduct. Our beautiful MTE team member Violet channelled this incredible and updated acronym name, which is just being released right now.
Okay … so now to the history of this Code, launched today as ECHO.
Many years ago, as my narcissistic abuse recovery work expanded, many people from all over the world, who had been narcissistically abused, were meeting in my Forum.
It shocked me, how people stuck in so much pain were lashing out not just about what the narcissist had done to them, but at other members of the Forum as well.
The Forum environment was incredibly toxic. It was beyond difficult to try to help people heal. And when people did try to encourage other people to drop the war story and start looking within to heal themselves, these people were demonised and attacked.
They were called victim shamers and blamers as well as many other things.
This was horrible to witness. How could I sort this out? I wanted to honour people who had been victimised so that they could share their story, but it needed to be in a healthy way so that they could be met and supported to turn within and self-partner and start powerfully healing.
I sat with it one afternoon, in deep inner enquiry, and the answer came.
The answer was ECHO.
What is ECHO?
ECHO is a Code to help people heal.
It is many things. There is one part of it, that I want to share with you – the Three-Step Process regarding how to share information to generate healing.
Hence why ECHO is called the Empowered Code for Healthy Outreach.
Let me explain this to you, starting with Step 1.
Step 1: Explain the Situation Factually
This is a statement of what your situation is, regarding narcissistic abuse.
Often, of course, in victimised pain, you look outwards and are in the war story of what happened to you. Which is completely and utterly understandable. Yet, this ignites cortisol and adrenaline. It accentuates fight and flight, which is trauma.
We know now, from the incredible work of scientists such as Bruce Lipton and Joe Dispenza, that when we are in this state there is a dire disconnection from calm, power and solution as well as healing and evolution.
In this place of heightened stress, you are also cut off from health and well-being. Your immune system and response to disease and threat physically, emotionally and spiritually is reduced … terribly.
Fight and flight is effective when you are in a situation of physical threat and need to get up a tree away from a predator. However, in terms of sorting out and healing and empowering our lives, this state is disastrous.
Not only does it impact us negatively, it triggers other people to catch the disease of victimisation, which ignites peptide addiction and keeps people extremely sick, and in progressive disintegration.
This is not just delaying healing; it makes it impossible.
Of course, venting in this way is completely understandable, but we can grow up to the point where we ask ourselves, “What do I really want to achieve regarding my healing? Do I want to get to the resolution of the trauma and claim my power, freedom and health?”
Of course, you know the answer to that question.
Okay, so rather than expressing what is happening to you in a traumatised, victimised way (which of course is very compelling and even addictive to do), if your explanation is calm and factual without using emotionally triggering words and statements, this keeps your Inner Being in a much healthier place.
Also, it doesn’t trigger others into a reactivation of trauma and powerlessness.
Please know there is no right or wrong. There is only what does and doesn’t work in relation to what we want to achieve.
So, in regard to Step One, Explain the Situation Factually, let me give you an example of what doesn’t work, as opposed to what does to take you towards your healing.
Jane is suffering the trauma of being hooked into her ex and she can’t stop breaking No Contact.
A victimised way for her to reach out for help in this situation would be something like this …
“I’m losing my mind. Why am I so stupid? Why can’t I stop going back? He just keeps hurting me, but I can’t stop loving him.”
Jane, at this point, is looking outside at what is happening in her life and has not started to self-partner to connect to her emotions (subconscious programs), to get into her own body where her power really is.
Yet, a small shift in the awareness of how to express what is happening to her can start that process, by saying something like this …
Step One: (Explain the Situation Factually) “I have broken No Contact three times in the last week. Every time I contact him, he is still abusing me and I get treated worse.”
The shift here is that Jane is simply expressing what has happened to her factually. This keeps her in her body and not falling into triggered peptide programs.
Now, Jane can move on to Step Two, which is …
Step Two: Claim and Express Your Painful Emotions
This part is initially tricky for people to do. But it is so powerful and 100% necessary for you to generate true healing.
By ceasing to focus on “the outside” and start coming deeply “inside”, you will awaken to, contact and start to heal your subconscious inner programs that are unconsciously co-generating the pain you are presently experiencing.
The reason why going inside to claim your own feelings is so powerful is because you are the only person who has the power to change in order to change your life.
So, what this means is you can start connecting to what you are feeling inside you and name it. This brings you relief and power by putting you back inside your Being – which is the only place where your power is.
Without you doing Step Two, healing is just not possible.
Let me give you an example of how this works with Jane again.
In her initial powerless statement, she said, “Why am I so stupid? Why can’t I stop going back?”
These are statements of being completely disconnected from self, rather than being self-partnered.
Her path to becoming powerfully self-partnered and healing her traumatised feelings began when she said:
Step Two: (Claim and Express Your Painful Emotions) “I feel like I am losing my mind. I feel powerless, worthless, broken. I feel like I’ll die without him loving me. I feel like I can’t live life alone, without him and that there is no hope for me to be okay on my own. This is what makes me contact him.”
By being REAL, about what is going on inside of her, Jane has just opened an incredible truth channel where others now have deep insight to what is really going on inside of Jane, and can reflect back to her WHY she is in such a “hooked in” situation.
This is what, as Thrivers, we do for each other. And it is incredibly healing (you will understand why soon).
None of this orientation and true solution was possible until Jane used the ECHO method.
Step Three is also vital.
It is this.
Step Three: Ask For A Solution
When you don’t ask for help and simply post about your suffering, what you are saying to yourself, other people and all of Life is this:
“I’m a victim.”, “I don’t deserve help!”, “I’m not worth helping!”, “There is no support for me!”
This will not shift in your experience until you start showing up asking for what you need.
This could be as simple as asking, “Please help me with this.”
How often have you heard somebody bang on with ferocity, pain and devastation, and you don’t even know whether they’re asking for help or just venting?
Something powerful happens when you set the intention and express that you want solution and healing. It starts the cogs of life shifting gears to support you and help bring that to pass.
So, after Step Two and Jane owning her feelings, she then posted …
Step Three: (Ask for a Solution) “Please someone help me, please help me get strong so I can stay away from him.”
Previously Jane had not asked directly for any help at all.
Now Jane could be met powerfully, truthfully and lovingly, in a way that helped her claim, shift and heal the necessary inner traumas to have her Thriver Breakthrough.
When Jane was instructed to shift EXACTLY those traumas she named, from her Inner Being with the NARP Healing Modules, she discovered the truth, about was really going on.
Somewhere in her past, Jane established wounds of not being worthy of love, of feeling she had to earn it, and she knew the familiarity of, “people who love me hurt me, abandon me and don’t want me”.
She had established these beliefs, “If people leave me I’ll die, I am defenceless on my own”. These were huge young survival programs established in her DNA as a child, and even further back, that Jane had previously felt powerless to overcome.
This was why she had kept going back to be battered time and time again, even though she wanted the abuse to end.
The same is true for all of us – there is a REASON within as to why we can’t get out of the abuse patterns.
Jane released and re-programmed these wounds with NARP Module work.
She then went free of those traumas and easily held No Contact.
The Shift From Victimisation to ECHO
Let’s just refresh our memory again.
Jane’s victimised post was:
“I’m losing my mind. Why am I so stupid? Why can’t I stop going back? He just keeps hurting me, but I can’t stop loving him.”
Now, I want you to feel into these words and feel the energy of them. What do they feel like in your body? Do they feel messy, traumatised, confused and hard to meet and help?
How do you help somebody who is in this place? It’s very hard to do.
Are they even in a space where they can be helped?
No!
Now let’s go through the ECHO method of expressing yourself, and see how it feels in your body.
Step One: (Explain the Situation Factually) “I have broken no contact three times in the last week. Every time I contact him he is still abusing me and I get treated worse.”
Step Two: (Claim and Express Your Painful Emotions) “I feel like I am losing my mind. I feel powerless, worthless, broken, I feel like I’ll die without him loving me. I feel like I can’t live life alone, without him and that there is no hope for me to be okay on my own. This is what makes me contact him.”
Step Three: (Ask for a Solution) “Please someone help me, please help me get strong so I can stay away from him.”
Feel this in your body. I want you to really feel it … inside.
Now pause this video and share in the comments how this ECHO way of reaching out feels in your body.
Okay, so I hope that this has brought to light some of what goes on in the NARP community behind the scenes.
There is healing miracle after miracle in there every day. NARP and ECHO combined are powerfully responsible for that – as are the incredible MTE staff of moderators and also beautiful loving Thrivers, ever capable and able to support you with your Thriver healing.
I really want you to know that ECHO is not just for the NARP Member’s Forum. It is such an empowered and healthy way to be able to conduct your entire life because it allows you to stay in your body and co-generate real solution and healing.
Those of you NARPers who are Gold members, and are not as yet active in the Forum, I encourage you to come into the Forum and receive these magical up-levels and transformations.
And, for those of you who are not as yet NARPers, I can’t recommend enough, if you are struggling with recovery, or are in toxic environments of victimisation and venting with other people, or with yourself, to think seriously about getting involved in this incredible community, as a NARP Member.
You can do so, and become a NARP member today, by clicking this link.
And as always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.