Posts

What court will hear issues about your child in relation to an international divorce?

What court will hear issues about your child in relation to an international divorce?

Originally published by The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC Blog.

What court will hear issues about your child in relation to an international divorce?

There is a great deal of uncertainty associated with divorce. For starters, you have no idea how long your case could last. You’ve probably heard horror stories about divorces that have taken years to complete and are worried about yours ending up the same way. Tied to that concern you may be wondering how you are going to afford to pay for the divorce. Attorney’s fees, court costs are just the tip of the iceberg from what you can tell.

What if you were also in a position where you didn’t even know where you would need to ask for a divorce? Many Texas residents know that all we would need to do in order to file for divorce was to submit some paperwork at the local county courthouse in order to start the process. You may not be in that same position, however. If you have resided outside of the State of Texas- or outside of the United States altogether- you may have questions about what court will be able to hear your case in the first place.

Beyond any immediate concerns about yourself, you are likely concerned with what outcome your children will encounter because of your divorce. Kids are the innocent by-standards in any divorce. Because you and your spouse are ending your marriage your children are now facing up to the effects of that choice. You want to do every possible to shield them from the brunt of the divorce but are unclear on some issues associated with your potential case. For starters, what will happen if your child has ties to more than one state- or more than one country?

Custody options that are available when a child has lived in multiple countries

Knowing what options are available to you as well as what courts are available to issue rulings regarding child custody matters ought to be one of the first issues that you explore as you prepare to file for a divorce.

The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) has been adopted by all fifty states and seeks to address jurisdictional problems that are relevant in our country and across the globe. Asking and answering a few questions within the framework of the UCCJEA can tell you a great deal of information about what court is the appropriate venue to file your divorce or child custody case within.

For starters, you will need to determine where your child has been a resident for the past six months. Next, consider whether or not your child has a true home country. If you and your spouse have moved so frequently that it would not be fair to call one country or another their “home” for the purposes of a divorce then you would be going off of where your child has lived during the past six months.

If your child does have a home country where he or she has been raised and is attending school, the next question you need to ask yourself is whether or not a court in that country has already stated that jurisdiction is proper there. However, consider that if you now reside in the United States and have done so for at least six months it may be better suited for your family to file your divorce in the U.S. All of these considerations go out the window if an emergency arises that requires intervention by a court at a moment’s notice, such as when an abduction of your child occurs.

Jurisdiction in international child custody cases is far from simple

As we have seen in the past few blog posts on our website, determining child custody jurisdiction in international cases is not simple at all, unfortunately. You need to be able to balance complex issues with one another while balancing what is in the best interests of your child throughout the evaluation.

Under the UCCJEA a court in the United States may be required to apply the custody laws or another nation in enforcing a foreign court order or even creating a brand-new order for you and your child. As with anything associated with family law, it is strongly recommended that your attorney not only have experience handling child custody cases but also have experience in handling cases that involve the UCCJEA.

Be aware of child abduction issues in connection with international child abduction cases

It is not uncommon to encounter child custody cases wherein one parent attempts to ignore, brazenly, the child custody laws of one country in order to gain entry to a nation whose circumstances are more advantageous. If your child’s other parent believes the laws in their country of origin are “better suited” for him or her then it is not out of the question for him or her to attempt to remove your child without your permission from the United States or whatever country, you currently reside in.

I do not tell you all this in order to frighten or intimidate you. I mention it because it is a relevant consideration in an age where mobility has never been easier. Courts in the United States hear issues all the time of international child abduction cases. The goals of these courts are to quickly and correctly address the issues in that specific case with the goal of returning the children to their home country.

When courts are effective in addressing issues and returning children back to their parents, they not only help the family who is involved in the case but also discourage parents from taking matters into their own hands by attempting to create jurisdiction over a child by means of abduction. What these parents do not consider is that almost every country in the world has signed on to the UCCJEA and would apply the laws of the nation where the child just left in any custody case.

How you can present a case to have your child returned to you 

In the event that you are left behind by your child’s other parent, there are concrete steps that you can legally take in order to have your child returned to you. First, you must be able to establish that he or she was consistently a resident of that country. As a parent, you must next show that based on the laws of your home country you had parental rights. Keep in mind that if you are an absentee parent this could cause problems for you, given that those parental rights must be acted upon. If you do not have a minimal amount of contact with your child it will be difficult to convince a court to have your child returned home.

What can the “other” parent argue in a contested child custody hearing regarding abduction?

If you are in a position where your child has been removed from the United States and taken to another country, you may have some concerns about what your spouse or child’s other parent may be able to argue as far as why the abduction was justified under the law. As I just mentioned, one of the most effective means of legitimizing the actions of the abducting parent would be to argue that you as the non-abducting parent has not attempted to exercise your parental rights. Your not taking an active role in the life of your child could come back to haunt you if this is the case.

Next, if you agreed to the removal of your child from the United States at any point this could also hamper your argument that your child needs to be returned. An email from a few weeks ago where you and your child’s other parent outlined an agreement between the two of you to allow him to take your daughter to Saudi Arabia can diminish the strength of any arguments you have as to why your child needs to be returned to you.

At the very least, if the abducting parent can show a court that while you did not exactly endorse the move if you were not vociferous or took no action to prevent the abduction then it probably cannot properly be called an abduction at all.

Finally, your child’s other parent may attempt to present an argument that your child was facing a serious risk of harm by remaining with you in their “home” country. If there is an issue related to your family, or to the political climate of your home country this can be an effective argument to make. The best interests of your child are going to bee at the forefront of the decision making any court utilizes and showing that child abuse had been ongoing can be an effective tool to utilize.

The age of your child may be a relevant consideration, as well

Even if your spouse or child’s other parent cannot effectively present an argument such as the ones, we have just been discussing it is possible that if your child is old enough, his or her preference to remain in the new country could bolster the case of the abducting parent. The opinion and/or wishes of your sixteen-year-old are likely to be taken a lot more seriously than those of your six-year-old child, mind you.

Do not delay if you seek to challenge the abduction of your child to another country

Act quickly if your child has been abducted from the United States. Under the relevant international treaty, a case requesting the return of your child to this country must be filed within a year of the removal. Once you get beyond this one-year time-frame it is simpler for the abducting parent to make an argument that your child has become more familiar and comfortable in their surroundings. Finding a home, a place to go to school and friends will create a home-like atmosphere that will be tougher for you to counter with arguments of your own. Keep in mind that if you file your lawsuit to have your child returned to the United States within a year of their removal then the opposing party cannot present this argument.

The bottom line is that you need to have a sense of urgency when it comes to your actions that are taken in the time period immediately following the abduction of your child. I’m sure that this will not be difficult, as I can only imagine the fear and anger that would arise in me if this happened to one of my children. Do not let fear or the unknown or concerns about external issues weigh you down and prevent you from making a decision that could save your family from a great deal of hardship,

If you find yourself in a position where you need to hire an attorney to help you fight for you, make sure that you verify that the attorney has experience in international child custody matters. Family law experience is not good enough for one of these cases. When your relationship with your child is concerned you cannot afford to take any chances. Seek out representation that has had proven results in order to give yourself the best chance at a successful outcome.

Questions about international divorce or child custody cases? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan

Thank you for your interest in this topic. If you have any questions about the material that we presented today or seek clarification on anything please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free of charge consultations six days a week where we can answer your questions and address your concerns in a comfortable and pressure-free environment. Our attorneys and staff take a great deal of pride in providing comprehensive, family law services to our clients.

No matter where you live in southeast Texas, we are here to serve you. From Baytown to Waller and up to Conroe, our attorneys will put your interests first and advise you to take steps that will seek to improve your family’s well-being.

Curated by Texas Bar Today. Follow us on Twitter @texasbartoday.



Read More –>

11 Things Men Need To Hear From Their Partners

11 Things Men Need To Hear From Their Partners

 

 Unsplash Couple2.jpg

 

I grew up in a traditional family. My dad went to work every day. My mother worked too, but she was a school teacher. This meant she was home earlier in the afternoon, fixed dinner, did the dishes, and saw to it that we had our baths and a bedtime story.

My father read the newspaper or watched TV in the evenings. On weekends, my mother cleaned the house, while dad did the yard work or changed the oil in their cars. Each had their roles to play. My mother was the “softer” person; my father the harder tough “fixer.”

We have long lived in a society in which the differences between men and women in relationships have been discussed. Women are the romantics, the half of a partnership that craves physical and verbal affection.

Men are the less demonstrative half who crave compliments about their deeds, who want respect for their positions as the heads of the households. Women value emotion; men value logic. But these traditional roles have become murky and gray over recent decades, and what men want to hear from their partners may now be quite different.

Here are 11 things men need to hear from their partners

1. I appreciate you. In a healthy partnership, both members sincerely want to help and support one another. When a man has shown his support and help, he does want to be recognized for that. In fact, don’t we all? It is important for him to know that his partner has understood his contribution and can verbally tell him so. Being appreciated fosters inner feelings of self-worth.

2. I understand. When a man is going through a rough patch, when he is upset about situations and events, when his career is not going as he wishes, he does not want criticism or “should do’s.” He wants empathy. Far better for a partner to say, “I ‘get’ that you are upset and angry. I understand the feeling. If you can think of any way I can help or if you just want to talk, I’m here.”

3. Take What Time You Need. Sometimes men just want to be alone. It is not a statement on the relationship or a lack of feeling for their partner. It is a genuine need to get off by himself and think things through that may have nothing to do with the partnership. Perhaps he is considering a career change, or going back to school, or how to deal with an issue at work. He needs space, and the wise partner will allow him that time.

4. I Apologize – Please Forgive Me. We all make mistakes in our relationships. We “blow up;” we say hurtful things; we’re inconsiderate. Men want to hear words of apology when they are warranted, and they need for the words to be sincere. When they hear these things, they are far more prone to do the same when they have been in the wrong.

5. You did such a great job. Whether he has decided to clean the garage, help with the laundry, or finish the chapter of that novel he is writing, a man wants the praise that should be given. While we often think that adults ought to be able to pat themselves on the back for their accomplishments and be satisfied with inner pride, this is not the case. Other people recognizing accomplishments, even smaller ones, and giving verbal acknowledgment, is important to all of us, and men are no different.

6. You are sexy/hot. Men may not communicate the need to be seen as attractive, but they appreciate being told that they are. Tell them in words such as “sexy” or “hot,” and you will have a guy who acts that way.

7. Why don’t you go spend some time with your friends? What a welcome statement! Especially if he has been stressed at work or taking care of you while you have been sick or involved in a major home improvement project. It’s time for a break, and he needs to know that you see this and want him to have it.

8 — Thank you. Say it often for little and big things. Again, it says that you notice the nice things he does and that you appreciate them. Earning your gratitude is important.

9. Tell me your dreams. Most men are future-looking. They know where they would like to be in five, ten, etc. years. They may have dreams that include striking out on their own someday or getting a degree. There may be hobbies they want to pursue. When you ask this and truly listen, they know their goals are important to you.

10. I need you. When men hear this from their partners, they beam inside. Everyone loves to be needed by those they love. It’s not that you must have him in your life for financial support. It’s because he completes you in so many ways. He provides encouraging words when you are down; he adds humor when you need it; he provides you with greater insight and perspective. And there is no greater feeling for a man than this.

11. I believe in you. This relates to being supportive, but it is more than that. When you tell a man you believe in him, you are really saying that his decisions are good, his plans are based upon his best thinking, and that you know he has the skills and talents to accomplish whatever he wishes. And this needs to come from you because you are the person whose opinion he values the most.

Relationships are complicated. Individuals in them will never always agree; and there will be bad feelings, anger, and disappointment in even the most “perfect” partnerships. Men, like women, are also complicated, individuals. They have thoughts, feelings, and emotions that they do not always show (vestiges of cave protection and other ancient roles), but they are certainly there within. They need validation; they need to be appreciated, and they need the inner joy that comes from being told how much they matter. Relationships can withstand a lot of tough challenges and dangerous waters if these 11 things are said and said often.

The post 11 Things Men Need To Hear From Their Partners appeared first on Divorced Moms.

Read More –>

if you abandon your child

If You Abandon Your Children, I Don’t Want To Hear About Your “Father’s Rights”

if you abandon your child

 

A couple of years ago the Huffington Post ran an article the day before Father’s Day that got the Father’s Rights guys a bit upset. But when a woman writes an article about a less than perfect father those guys normally respond with dismissal, disdain, and disregard so that was no big surprise

In their mind, if you say something unpleasant about one father you have offended every father. And, they love to make excuses for deadbeat or absent fathers and that excuse normally runs along the lines of, “its all moms fault.”

One comment caught my attention due to its astounding show of immaturity and it’s representation of how I feel some men attached to the Father’s Rights movement respond to divorce and custody issues.

I had printed out the comment and came across it again while Marie Kondoing my house. It still, to this day has the same impact on me.

“Divorce court is a woman’s court. Your man bailed out is probably just like me, it is far better for the children for the father to disappear than to be used as a punching bag by the mother, courts, society, and in the end, the children.”

Granted the grammar is bad but if you try hard you can make sense of it. Evidently, this comment was made by a father who has chosen to “bail” on his children, as did the father who was the subject of the Huffington Post article.

If You Abandon Your Children You Have NO Excuse!

What I find astonishing is the reason the commenter has bailed. He didn’t want to be used as a punching bag by the mother, the courts or society. I had no idea until I read that, that paternal instinct, fathering and loving one’s children was depended upon a mother’s actions, the court’s actions or the actions of society.

No one forced him to leave his children. Nothing happened to cause him to lose his role as a father. He may have had divorce forced upon him along with a custody agreement he wasn’t happy with but, really, is that any reason to choose to no longer father your children?

It’s like saying, “you people were mean to me so I’m taking daddy away from my children.” The guy actually punished his children by withdrawing from them as a father for something someone else did to him. And, in his mind, he thinks he has done his children a favor.

Why can’t I wrap my mind around this justification? Probably because it is irrational and totally out of touch with what his children needed from him REGARDLESS of how difficult he found it to remain in their lives.

Plus, in my experience with divorce, I’ve known of the inability of the Family Court system to deal appropriately with the issues of divorce, custody and all things related BUT, at no time have I formed the belief that that was any reason to bail on my child.

The Problem With the Father’s Rights Movement:

Their seedy underbelly is too vocal and in being so they reflect poorly on the Father’s Rights movement and men who don’t abandon children for any reason. There is a small fringe of this movement that has declared war on women and children and that fringe keeps those who are truly concerned about their rights as fathers from being taken seriously.

Nothing will change in our dysfunctional Family Court until mothers and fathers work together to change the system. As long as some members of the Father’s Rights movement insist on accusing women of victimizing them via the court system and excuse each other for abandoning their children, women and mothers will have no interest in working with them in any capacity.

If men want shared or 50/50 custody of their children they are more likely to change custody laws if they are working in union with women and mothers, not blaming them but working with them. Men, women, and children are harmed during divorce. A lot of that harm comes from a system that is in dire need of reform. That reform isn’t going to take place if fringe elements of angry men are allowed to continue to spew venom and anger from their keyboards.

Let’s face it, as parents, we can’t get what we all want for our children, what is in their best interest until we all come together and stop blaming each other.

The post If You Abandon Your Children, I Don’t Want To Hear About Your “Father’s Rights” appeared first on Divorced Moms.

Read More –>