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rent a husband: handsome man smiling doing handy work

I Need a Rent A Husband, Today And Every Day!

rent a husband: handsome man smiling doing handy work

 

I have often felt during the past 20 years of being divorced, how much I missed that built-in Handy Man I had in a husband! He could build anything, make anything, cook anything, grow anything.

He was just deeply talented.

Of course, it was wonderful to feel like you were part of a unit too. It felt wonderful to have a family. I felt like a whole table rather than a 3-legged wobbly table.

Those are the overarching faint memories.

I have been divorced for so many years, I barely remember the actual feelings of homegrown support any longer. Since my divorce, I have purchased two homes and all the furniture within.

I have purchased 3 cars; I have finished a remodel of the house we lived in when we were married.

I have dealt with leaky roofs, serious plumbing issues, and electrical challenges.

I have worked harder in my life than I could ever have imagined. Raising a family and caring for the household is a lot.

On my tax returns, I am labeled as head of household. There have been no truer words written.

I Need a Rent A Husband, Today And Every day!

On the day of my Father’s funeral, I came home at 9:00 pm with my 4-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son only to walk to the dining room and see standing water. The water that had been meandering from the front bathroom due to a toilet that had been overrunning all day in our absence.

I had just had the worst day of my life.

The only man left in my life who supported and loved me unconditionally was gone.

By virtue of just the sheer emotional sadness I felt, it was the final straw. I called my brother in law and he came over with his wet vacuum and we proceeded to clean it up.

I quickly put the kids to bed and continued to clean up.

By midnight I threw myself into bed and sobbed. I had never felt so alone in my life. I was brought into this world with a twin sister so being solo was not natural to me.

I have indeed been the provider for many projects that go along with owning a house. I entered this endeavor at the time of my first home purchase with a good amount of naivety. Forgetting that I had always had a handy husband who was brilliant at fixing and solving things.

My first home was purchased n March 2001. It is now May 2020 and I have fixed a lot of things at that time. I have hired a lot of technicians in their fields to work on my homes.

As I look back, I can’t help but think how great it would have been if I could have just rented a husband; instead of always being in the position of borrowing my brothers-in-law or friends’ husbands to help me out.

Of course, I would love a guy who could help me diagnose and fix all the ailments that go along with homeownership. But there is so much more beyond that.

One of my biggest dreads each year was buying the Christmas tree.

I always had a car that was too small to fit the tree in. Many a Christmas’ my little boy and I would be pulling the tree off the roof of the car which had been carefully tethered by an oh so skilled Christmas tree lot worker.

We always wanted a big tree so that meant it was twice the size of the child who was helping me drag it in and set it up. Wouldn’t it have been great to call Rent A Husband and Wala…he is there! Ready with a smile to help with a compassionate and cheerful attitude. Never annoyed and just always felt the family holiday cheer!

Sigh… it would have been so wonderful. And then there was the Christmas present buying for the kids. One year, I waited so long to get the gifts because I needed the paycheck that could cover it. My kids were with their Dad for the weekend so I came home on a Friday night after a long week and proceeded to get out of my work clothes and ready to dawn the charge to Toys R Us who would be open until midnight.

I had my car filled with toys. I got home and then had to wrap them all. I was Christmas for my kids, and I was never going to let them down! Ever.

How great would it have been if My Rent A Husband would be there to help me shop and then tell me he would wrap the gifts. He would eagerly say, “Go ahead and take a hot shower and get comfy after your long week of work. I got it from here.” Happier words could not have been received to my ears.

A Rent A Husband would come in handy on so many levels.

I think back on all the time spent making dinners, making school lunches, doing homework, giving baths to my kids, all after working a full day, a full week, a full month year after year.

My ideal Rent A Husband would step in and allow me to take a slow hot stress relieving bath while he helped the children with homework and get them ready for bed.

My ideal Rent A husband would let me go to bed early as he sits down and pays the bills.

My ideal Rent A Husband would step in and take some of the load off my shoulders so that I may just sit and breathe the kind of long sighing breaths that naturally allow your shoulders to fall to a relaxed state of being. A place they rarely sit in.

As the children grew and college was on their horizon, I spent many a long night going through college portals to ascertain what the acceptance rates were, what their school specialties were, and ultimately what the tuitions would look like all before we sat down and filled out the complicated applications.

With my ideal Rent A Husband by my side he would say, “You have done that leg, now let me help. I will figure out the college tuition and better yet, the FAFSA portal in case we need student loans.” Which of course we did.

Now I know you are probably saying, “Karen what are you talking about? Why don’t you just hire a handyman or a babysitter or a tutor or a personal assistant or something? Or better yet, get a boyfriend?!”

I had never really felt the desire during that time. But I may have gotten it all wrong. I was mired in so much all the time.

I had a babysitter until the day I could no longer afford one.

I had a handyman in my Uncle before he became too old to do the heavy lifting.

I had an advisor in my Father before he succumbed to cancer.

I had a boyfriend until I realized he wasn’t the real deal and he really didn’t care about me, the person… only me the person who was there for him only.

And I did indeed have a husband at one time who I thought was all the above.

What I really needed was just a good friend who didn’t want anything from me and who was willing to do anything for me.

I know it sounds very one-sided, but really that’s all I wanted back then. So here I am now twenty years divorced. Maybe my ideal Rent A Husband could indeed be my best friend now.

My person who I can lean on for help. Or, maybe one day my next real second husband.

Who knows?

But for now, I would settle for that Rent A Husband every day of the week and twice on Sunday if it gives me just one hour, one day, one moment in time that I feel less stressed and more centered. I would take it!  I’m ready to book my next husband! How about you?

Yellow Pages Phone Book Advertisement:

Rent A Husband

“In my book, you are my Prince. In my movie, you are my Hero. In my body, you are my Heart. And in my life, you are my Everything.”

The post I Need a Rent A Husband, Today And Every Day! appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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Making the tough decision to divorce a mentally ill husband

Divorcing a Mentally Ill Husband

Making the decision to divorce is difficult, but it is even more challenging when your spouse suffers from a mental illness.

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Dropping the “D Bomb”: How to Tell Your Husband Your Marriage Is Over

Dropping the “D Bomb”: How to Tell Your Husband Your Marriage Is Over

Contemplating divorce? Your first divorce conversation sets the tone for a respectful process and must be planned with care. Before you tell your husband you want out, consider these helpful pointers and handle this difficult conversation with poise and grace.

The post Dropping the “D Bomb”: How to Tell Your Husband Your Marriage Is Over appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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husband seek spousal support

Can Your Husband Seek Spousal Support?

husband seek spousal support

 

There are several concerns in divorce cases, depending on your circumstances. These can include child custody arrangements, child support, the division of your marital property, and spousal maintenance – also known as alimony.

While a spousal maintenance award is never a given and the issue doesn’t come into play in every case, there are divorces in which maintenance plays an important role.

Whether your husband can seek spousal support or not will depend on a variety of variables. Understanding the basics as they relate to spousal maintenance can help you make decisions that protect your rights throughout the divorce process.

Can Your Husband Seek Spousal Support?

Maintenance Awards

Spousal maintenance is generally predicated on financial disparity. If, for example, you are the primary breadwinner and your husband was the primary caregiver for your children throughout your marriage, he might be able to successfully seek alimony until he is able to begin working and supporting himself. There are, however, a number of considerations to take into account. Generally, the longer you were married and the greater the difference in earning ability and assets between the two of you, the greater the chance that your husband will be eligible to seek spousal support.

Will Your Husband Be Awarded Alimony?

Every divorce comes with its own highly specific financial circumstances, but the general rule is that if your husband lacks the means to provide for himself and is incapable of attaining appropriate employment right away, he might be awarded maintenance.

This means that if your spouse is unemployed or simply doesn’t earn enough, if his portion of the marital assets aren’t sufficient to make up the difference, and if he doesn’t have the education, skills, or experience to obtain a job that would provide him with the necessary means to support himself – the court might look to you to help him move forward post-divorce with financial support.

It’s important to recognize, however, that alimony is very rarely a permanent proposition. Instead, alimony is a stopgap measure that will be used to help your ex find his financial footing after the divorce. Generally, the longer your marriage and the greater the financial disparity, the longer the alimony period.

Determining Spousal Maintenance

Every determination regarding alimony is specific to the individual situation, but there are some basics that almost universally apply. The court will take a variety of factors into careful consideration in determining whether alimony is appropriate and, if so, what its duration should be. These factors can include:

  • The duration of your marriage (having been married for ten years or more can play an important role)
  • The age and health status of both you and your husband
  • How your marital property was divided (each of your post-divorce assets)
  • The level of education each of you has (including your level of education now as compared to your level of education when you married)
  • Your earning capacity in relation to your husband’s earning capacity
  • The tax consequences related to your divorce
  • The contents of any premarital or postmarital contractual agreements (a prenup, for example)
  • The amount of time it will likely be necessary for your husband to become self-supporting at a level that’s comparable to the one you maintained as a married couple
  • Any contribution that your husband made to your education or to further your career during the course of your marriage
  • Any other circumstances that the court deems relevant

if the court determines that your husband is entitled to maintenance, it will then go about calculating the appropriate amount and duration, which will be predicated on your ability to pay while still satisfactorily supporting yourself.

What Does Maintenance Cover?

Maintenance can be a mechanism for making property division more equitable, a means of short-term support to help your ex-husband become financially self-sufficient, or a permanent support strategy for a spouse who has a limited ability to earn that cannot be rectified or who is outright unemployable (because of a disability, for example). Permanent maintenance is far less common than temporary maintenance.

When it comes to the division of marital property, there are instances when maintenance can help make the distribution more equitable. For example, if you own and manage a business that supported your family throughout your marriage, it can be very difficult to value and/or divide the business for divorce purposes.

If you keep the business, the court may award your ex-husband maintenance to help smooth out any disparity in the property division. Further, if your husband didn’t work or was underemployed during the course of your marriage, the court may award him temporary maintenance while he finds his way back into the work world and begins earning a sufficient salary.

Mitigating Circumstances

In most situations, there simply is no guarantee of maintenance. If the judge finds, for example, that your ex was taking advantage of your generosity by not working throughout the marriage, he or she could deny maintenance.

Further, if your husband’s marital misconduct – such as overly lavish spending or an extramarital affair – brought about the dissolution of your marriage, the judge can take that into consideration in determining whether maintenance is appropriate or not.

Perhaps more than any other divorce issues, the question of maintenance is highly specific to the situation at hand and often hotly contested. If you have maintenance concerns, you need the professional legal counsel of an experienced divorce attorney on your side.

The post Can Your Husband Seek Spousal Support? appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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Best Thing My Husband Ever Did For Me

The Best Thing My Husband Ever Did For Me Was Divorce Me

Best Thing My Husband Ever Did For Me

 

I was in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic for 8 years. We have a child together and I thought he was the love of my life. We were married after 7 years together but that made the drinking and resentment he had toward me worse. He was cruel and distant when he drank which was all the time. Like most women, I kept this part of our life a secret.

I enabled him because I wanted him to be happy but what I was really doing was helping him become a monster.  The abuse was mainly when he was drunk and we were arguing but I always reasoned it away. “He loves me so he must not mean it.”

It was when he started drinking while on his medication and actually scaring me that I ramped up my complaints about drinking. I was babysitting him wherever we went or we would leave early so he didn’t have the opportunity to be drunk. He then started refusing to go to functions because I wouldn’t allow him to get drunk. I became enemy number one and he had decided he was the victim.

I was often called crazy or psycho for yelling at him for his drunken episodes but there was no rationalizing that.

As it began to escalate, I wasn’t aware of the woman he was seeing who was helping to validate his supposed persecution. My husband had been telling me he was taking my daughter to this woman’s house so my daughter could play with the little girl she babysat.  Little did I know, that was not why he was going there. When I finally caught them together and confronted him, he lied initially but then admitted they were together. That same night he packed a bag, left and asked for a divorce that week.

The Best Thing My Husband Ever Did For Me

I felt betrayed and devastated that the man I loved and the father of my child could treat me like nothing. He had treated me so poorly for so many years but he wanted to get away from me? I felt like my heart was ripped from my chest and someone was punching me in the throat. I remember one day taking out the garbage and on my way back to the house just lying down on the patio outside because I felt utterly broken. I laid there for a while until I began to cry this child-like sob that I am sure all my neighbors heard and assumed it was a dying animal or something.

I had stopped eating and sleeping, partially because I was so emotionally and physically drained but partially because every bite made me feel ill. All my emotions smashed together to create one super emotion, divorce. I thought I would never feel ok again or myself again. The funniest part of all of it is that I wasn’t myself at all when I was with him either. What I thought was happiness was really just, getting by. I was craving to have my life back when it wasn’t a life anyone should have or want.

Taking it one day at a time.

My friends and family told me to take one day at a time which I rolled my eyes at but that was the best thing I ever did. I gave myself a reset everyday thinking, “if I screw it up today I will be better tomorrow”. I made a lot of mistakes during the divorce letting my emotions control me at times but just like another cliché we know, “time heals all wounds”, well that’s because it does. The more time went by the less angry and hurt I was and I began to feel this strange overwhelming feeling where I was genuinely HAPPY!

At first, it would happen here and there and then I would have whole days of being annoyingly happy. I was starting to be that person that other people roll their eyes at because I was just so happy. Like a drug though, when I wasn’t happy, the lows were pretty rough. I had to tell myself that however I was feeling when I wake up tomorrow the anger or anxiety will dissipate and it did. I began to be happy most of the time. I would laugh and get excited about life. My daughter could sense it too.

After so much time living for someone else’s needs, I started to live for me.

It has been a year since we separated and three months since the divorce was final but I can honestly say that I am happier now than I can ever remember. I forgot how funny and smart I am, not to brag. The people around me love me and most of all I love me. It was horrible knowing that my daughter watched me broken and lifeless. I never wanted her to see me like that.

I was always a fighter. I am not ashamed of it all because it was the fight in me that made me get up off that patio and push forward where I made it through a better version of myself. I still have bad days like anyone else but they are better than my best days with him. The best thing my husband ever did for me was divorce me. He gave me my life back.

The post The Best Thing My Husband Ever Did For Me Was Divorce Me appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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Runaway Husbands: Getting Your Life Back When Your Husband Bolts Out-of-the-Blue

Runaway Husbands: Getting Your Life Back When Your Husband Bolts Out-of-the-Blue

Wife Abandonment Syndrome is a pattern of behavior that begins when a husband leaves his wife out-of-the-blue without ever having told her that he was unhappy or thinking of leaving.

The post Runaway Husbands: Getting Your Life Back When Your Husband Bolts Out-of-the-Blue appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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8 Things to Do, Immediately, When Your Husband Leaves You

8 Things to Do, Immediately, When Your Husband Leaves You

If your husband leaves you, you’re going to be an emotional mess, and that is an understatement. You need to push those emotions to the side and immediately do these things to protect yourself in case a divorce is filed.

The post 8 Things to Do, Immediately, When Your Husband Leaves You appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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