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How do I prevent narcissism in kids?



Live from Belmont Library MA – What Is Authoritative Parenting?
www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-book

WHY RETHINK NARCISSISM?

People ask, “Why rethink narcissism?” and sometimes they get a little confused from the title that somehow I’m talking about how great narcissism is – that’s not what this book is about at all. In fact, it draws on many of the most promising and recent research findings that we have in understanding narcissism and includes my own research in helping people understand narcissism in a different way, which gives you a much clearer path through all of this than we’ve ever had before.

THE NARCISSISM TEST

If you haven’t already done so, I suggest you go to The Narcissism Test on www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-narcissism-test and take the brief online version of the measure my colleagues and I have developed (The Narcissism Spectrum Scale) to see where you or your loved ones score (if you want to take it as if your loved one was taking it; many people have).

BUY THE BOOK

If you like what you’ve heard learn more from the book, the link to purchase in the USA is tinyurl.com/qz7tyuf or the UK is amzn.to/1M5BLct

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What’s Secure vs Insecure Attachment? (Narcissism)



Live from Belmont Library MA – What’s Secure And Insecure Attachment? (Narcissism)
www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-book

WHY RETHINK NARCISSISM?

People ask, “Why rethink narcissism?” and sometimes they get a little confused from the title that somehow I’m talking about how great narcissism is – that’s not what this book is about at all. In fact, it draws on many of the most promising and recent research findings that we have in understanding narcissism and includes my own research in helping people understand narcissism in a different way, which gives you a much clearer path through all of this than we’ve ever had before.

THE NARCISSISM TEST

If you haven’t already done so, I suggest you go to The Narcissism Test on www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-narcissism-test and take the brief online version of the measure my colleagues and I have developed (The Narcissism Spectrum Scale) to see where you or your loved ones score (if you want to take it as if your loved one was taking it; many people have).

BUY THE BOOK

If you like what you’ve heard learn more from the book, the link to purchase in the USA is tinyurl.com/j4t7hmh or the UK is amzn.to/1M5BLct

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When Do Extreme Narcissists Seek Therapy? (Examples)



Live from Belmont Library MA – When Do Extreme Narcissists Seek Therapy?
www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-book

WHY RETHINK NARCISSISM?

People ask, “Why rethink narcissism?” and sometimes they get a little confused from the title that somehow I’m talking about how great narcissism is – that’s not what this book is about at all. In fact, it draws on many of the most promising and recent research findings that we have in understanding narcissism and includes my own research in helping people understand narcissism in a different way, which gives you a much clearer path through all of this than we’ve ever had before.

THE NARCISSISM TEST

If you haven’t already done so, I suggest you go to The Narcissism Test on www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-narcissism-test and take the brief online version of the measure my colleagues and I have developed (The Narcissism Spectrum Scale) to see where you or your loved ones score (if you want to take it as if your loved one was taking it; many people have).

BUY THE BOOK

If you like what you’ve heard learn more from the book, the link to purchase in the USA is tinyurl.com/j4t7hmh or the UK is amzn.to/1M5BLct

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Narcissistic Parenting: 8 Common Effects



Narcissistic Parenting: 8 Common Effects
www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-book

Many have written in to ask me: what are the most common effects of having a narcissistic parent? Here, I describe the 8 I’ve most commonly seen.

To learn more about recovery and more easily spot even subtle narcissism at the start of a relationship, read my internationally acclaimed book, Rethinking Narcissism. tinyurl.com/j4t7hmh

AMAZON: www.amazon.com/dp/0062348116/keywords=psychology%20books?tag=imprintweb-20
ITUNES/APPLE: books.apple.com/br/book/rethinking-narcissism/id929341420?l=en
BARNES & NOBLE: www.barnesandnoble.com/noresults/9780062348104
INDIEBOUND: www.indiebound.org/book/9780062348111
BOOKS-A-MILLION: www.booksamillion.com/p/Rethinking-Narcissism/Craig-Malkin/9780062348111?id=8510117162309
HARPERCOLLINS: www.harpercollins.com/products/rethinking-narcissism-dr-craig-malkin?variant=32132801200162

www.drcraigmalkin.com

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Abuse Recovery: 3 Keys to Overcoming Self-Blame



Abuse & Neglect Recovery: 3 Keys to Overcoming Self-Blame

www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-book

In this video, the followup to Narcissistic Parenting: 8 Common Effects www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CR4rzSs3jc, I address some of your questions about about how to recover, by describing 3 keys to overcoming chronic self-blame:
1) Recognize abuse: getting stuck, without support, in an abusive relationship is a recipe for chronic self-blame. Seeing the signs for what they are–and getting help leaving if the abuse doesn’t stop–are crucial to breaking out toxic cycles of self-criticism. For more, see www.psychologytoday.com/blog/romance-redux/201303/why-do-people-stay-in-abusive-relationships
2) Break your isolation: it’s difficult to see through cloud that envelops you when you’re raised by a narcissistic parent. It’s even more difficult if your trauma drives you into isolation as an adult–or worse, an abusive partner forces you further into silence. You need supports to see what’s wrong. You need people who can say, “You deserve better; I’m so sorry s/he did that to you.” More often than not, we need someone else to who can see through the fog with us.
3) Recognize your disappointment. Chronic self-blamers, often echoists, bury their disappointment because they’ve learned that voicing it may threaten their relationships–or even their lives. In place of justifiable anger and disappointment, self-blame begins to flourish. We trade our self-esteem for a sense of hope, convinced that it’s only by improving ourselves that we can ever truly feel loved (and safe).

To learn more about recovery and more easily spot even subtle narcissism at the start of a relationship, read my internationally acclaimed book, Rethinking Narcissism. tinyurl.com/j4t7hmh

AMAZON: www.amazon.com/dp/0062348116/keywords=psychology%20books?tag=imprintweb-20
ITUNES/APPLE: books.apple.com/br/book/rethinking-narcissism/id929341420?l=en
BARNES & NOBLE: www.barnesandnoble.com/noresults/9780062348104
INDIEBOUND: www.indiebound.org/book/9780062348111
BOOKS-A-MILLION: www.booksamillion.com/p/Rethinking-Narcissism/Craig-Malkin/9780062348111?id=8510117162309
HARPERCOLLINS: www.harpercollins.com/products/rethinking-narcissism-dr-craig-malkin?variant=32132801200162

www.drcraigmalkin.com

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Donald Trump and Narcissism: Disorder or Politics as Usual?



The Mental Health Controversy Over Donald Trump that’s Dividing the Country–and How to Fix it
www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-book

“Dr. Leslie Carr interviews Dr. Craig Malkin, a licensed clinical psychologist and author of the book Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Coping with Narcissists. They talk about the different kinds of narcissism and whether they could possibly apply to Donald Trump, the difficulty of diagnosing a person you haven’t directly treated (and why mental health professionals aren’t supposed to do it), the connection between “fake news” and authoritarian leadership, how to heal the “split” in the American electorate, and much more.” –Dr. Leslie Carr lesliecarr.com

To learn more about recovery and more easily spot even subtle narcissism at the start of a relationship, read my internationally acclaimed book, Rethinking Narcissism. tinyurl.com/j4t7hmh

AMAZON: www.amazon.com/dp/0062348116/keywords=psychology%20books?tag=imprintweb-20
ITUNES/APPLE: books.apple.com/br/book/rethinking-narcissism/id929341420?l=en
BARNES & NOBLE: www.barnesandnoble.com/noresults/9780062348104
INDIEBOUND: www.indiebound.org/book/9780062348111
BOOKS-A-MILLION: www.booksamillion.com/p/Rethinking-Narcissism/Craig-Malkin/9780062348111?id=8510117162309
HARPERCOLLINS: www.harpercollins.com/products/rethinking-narcissism-dr-craig-malkin?variant=32132801200162

www.drcraigmalkin.com

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Malignant Narcissism: What It Is & 3 Ways to Cope



Malignant Narcissism: What It is & 3 Ways to Cope
www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-book

Malignant narcissism has been a popular subject recently, with the term being tossed about almost as much as the word narcissism itself, *especially* in the political arena www.change.org/p/trump-is-mentally-ill-and-must-be-removed. But few people understand what it really means, its relationship to official mental health diagnoses (ie, the DSM’s narcissistic personality disorder), the true signs of danger, or what steps they can take when they suspect a partner or friend displays such perniciously narcissistic traits.

To clear up some of the massive confusion, in this video, I bust some widespread myths, provide a simple definition of malignant narcissism, and describe three important steps you can take when you see it.

To learn more about recovery and more easily spot even subtle narcissism at the start of a relationship, read my internationally acclaimed book, Rethinking Narcissism. tinyurl.com/j4t7hmh

AMAZON: www.amazon.com/dp/0062348116/keywords=psychology%20books?tag=imprintweb-20
ITUNES/APPLE: books.apple.com/br/book/rethinking-narcissism/id929341420?l=en
BARNES & NOBLE: www.barnesandnoble.com/noresults/9780062348104
INDIEBOUND: www.indiebound.org/book/9780062348111
BOOKS-A-MILLION: www.booksamillion.com/p/Rethinking-Narcissism/Craig-Malkin/9780062348111?id=8510117162309
HARPERCOLLINS: www.harpercollins.com/products/rethinking-narcissism-dr-craig-malkin?variant=32132801200162

www.drcraigmalkin.com

**note: Otto Kernberg elaborated on Malignant Narcissism but it’s Eric Fromm who coined the term**

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What’s the single greatest danger of covert narcissism?



What’s the single greatest danger of covert narcissism?
www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-book

Calling someone a covert narcissist doesn’t—or at least *shouldn’t*— imply that they’re any sneakier or more manipulative than the average narcissist. It also doesn’t have anything to do with hiding abusive behaviors (another widespread myth). There’s no evidence of any such pattern in clinical research (reports from mental health professionals) or social psychological research (the study of traits and personalities).

The term, *covert narcissism* (aka hypersensitive or vulnerable), was coined to capture the pattern in narcissists who aren’t loud, vain, chest-thumping braggarts but—as their partners discover soon enough—are just as arrogant and argumentative as people with the prouder, more outgoing brand of *extraverted* narcissism (aka overt or grandiose).

The “covert” in covert narcissism refers to the grandiosity inherent to all narcissists. Covert narcissists may be quiet or shy (and often are) but inside—in other words, *covertly*—they still harbor overblown visions of themselves and their future: dreams, for example, of one day being discovered for their remarkable creativity or intelligence or insight. What’s different about covert narcissists is that because they’re introverted, they don’t advertise their inflated egos. They agree with statements like *I feel I’m temperamentally different from most people *and *Even when I’m in a group of friends, I often feel very alone and uneasy*.

Many researchers have complained that covert is a misleading label, and I agree. Narcissists can be open or quiet about their grandiosity and often vacillate between feeling happily inflated and abjectly deflated; covert and overt traits coexist in all narcissists to one degree or another.

For that reason, in* **Rethinking Narcissism,* (www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-book) I introduced the term *introverted narcissist* instead. Covert narcissism is just another way of describing introverted, vulnerable, or hypersensitive narcissists.
To add to the confusion, neither ‘narcissism’ nor ‘narcissist’ are diagnoses or disorders. Narcissism is a trait; narcissists are people who score well above average on measures of that trait. They may or may not be disordered.

The easiest way to understand all narcissism is to think of it as *the drive to feel special*, or stand out from the other 7 billion people on the planet in some way. Narcissists, then, are people so addicted to feeling special that they become more and more willing (the higher they are in the trait) to do whatever it takes to get their “high,” including lie, steal and cheat (just like any severe substance abuser).

This rethink helps explain the variety of narcissists, too.
Since there are many ways to feel special, narcissism comes in a multitude of forms. People can feel special by believing themselves to be the most intelligent or beautiful person in the room (extroverted), the most misunderstood or emotionally sensitive (introverted), or even the most helpful or caring person in the room (a new type, called *communal narcissism*).

The more addicted any narcissist is to feeling special, the more likely they are to become disordered, displaying the core of pathological narcissism, or **Triple E**, as I call it: *exploitation*—doing whatever it takes to feel special, regardless of the cost to those around them; *entitlement*—acting as if the world owes them and should bend to their will; and *empathy impairments*—becoming so fixated on the need to feel special that other people’s feelings cease to matter. At this end of the spectrum, we find narcissistic personality disorder (or NPD).

And herein lies the answer to the question. Built into the definition of NPD is *manipulation *(exploitation). The more severe the disorder, the more likely that exploitative style is to become abusive. That means *anyone* with NPD can become abusive over time. And abuse is dangerous.

Disordered narcissists (those with NPD) can be calculating about hiding their abusive side, whether they’re extraverted, introverted, or communal because *all disordered narcissists *are by definition manipulative. Here’s the followup video where I describe what covert abuse is youtu.be/AqA8o7F0U98

AMAZON: www.amazon.com/dp/0062348116/keywords=psychology%20books?tag=imprintweb-20
ITUNES/APPLE: books.apple.com/br/book/rethinking-narcissism/id929341420?l=en
BARNES & NOBLE: www.barnesandnoble.com/noresults/9780062348104
INDIEBOUND: www.indiebound.org/book/9780062348111
BOOKS-A-MILLION: www.booksamillion.com/p/Rethinking-Narcissism/Craig-Malkin/9780062348111?id=8510117162309
HARPERCOLLINS: www.harpercollins.com/products/rethinking-narcissism-dr-craig-malkin?variant=32132801200162

www.drcraigmalkin.com

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How to Spot Covert Abusers



The Truth About Covert Narcissism: How to Spot Covert Abusers
www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-book

Many people commented or messaged me with concerns, after my previous video, “What’s the Single Greatest Danger of Covert Narcissism,” www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxcYfSrv_TY that I was suggesting there’s no such thing as covert abuse (where the abuse is carefully hidden, disguised by a clever mask of generosity or caring or sensitivity).

That’s not what I said–or at least, not what I *meant* to say.

Covert abuse is horrifyingly real, and there are clear traits that reliably predict it–namely, the Dark Tetrad:

Sadism–hurting others for pleasure.

Psychopathy–a pattern of remorseless lies and deceit.

Narcissism–an addictive drive to feel special or unique

Machiavellianism–a cold calculating, chess-playing approach to life (and love).

Of all the Dark Tetrad traits, Machiavellianism and Psychopathy appear to be linked most strongly to covert abuse. Which isn’t surprising since both traits are all about careful, cold, predatory behaviors.

Combined with the more recently researched, fourth trait of the Dark Tetrad, Sadism, these three traits blend with narcissism to shape a personality prone to gaslighting and trickery.

It is the Dark Tetrad narcissist, then, who commits covert abuse.

Covert narcissism, best thought of as a trait where someone presents as fragile (sort of…more on that later) on the outside and grandiose on the inside, is no more likely to predict covert abuse than overt narcissism, in which the fragility is hidden and grandiosity is worn like a badge of honor.

To see the most accurate predictors of covert abuse, look for the Dark Tetrad cluster of traits, especially Machiavellianism.

Covert and overt narcissists may or may not possess the other Dark Tetrad traits, which means they may or may not perpetrate covert abuse.

Of course, as you’ve probably learned from my work if you’ve followed it, your greatest protection against any form of abuse is to look for signs your partner is capable of attachment security. Securely attached people don’t perpetrate abuse. Ever.

For more on this topic www.psychologytoday.com/blog/romance-redux/201802/how-spot-covert-abusers

AMAZON: www.amazon.com/dp/0062348116/keywords=psychology%20books?tag=imprintweb-20
ITUNES/APPLE: books.apple.com/br/book/rethinking-narcissism/id929341420?l=en
BARNES & NOBLE: www.barnesandnoble.com/noresults/9780062348104
INDIEBOUND: www.indiebound.org/book/9780062348111
BOOKS-A-MILLION: www.booksamillion.com/p/Rethinking-Narcissism/Craig-Malkin/9780062348111?id=8510117162309
HARPERCOLLINS: www.harpercollins.com/products/rethinking-narcissism-dr-craig-malkin?variant=32132801200162

www.drcraigmalkin.com

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The Most Powerful Way to Protect Your Kids from Pathological Narcissism



The Most Powerful Way to Protect Your Kids from Pathological Narcissism
www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-book
www.drcraigmalkin.com –for free newsletter

So many people write in with questions about how they can protect their children from parents or relatives with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or other personality disorders.

They’re terrified, with good reason, that even if their ex or other relative isn’t physically abusive, their self-involved behaviors, lying, and manipulation will hurt their children emotionally.The good news is that you have far more power to protect your children than you may realize.

We already know from research what drives pathological narcissism–and we know even more about what protects children emotionally from traumatic experiences we may not be able to prevent–and for many of us, that means mitigating the damage our children may suffer at the hands of a partner we ourselves left precisely because of their abusive or neglectful nature.

In this video I describe:
— the one approach guaranteed to protect your children emotionally no matter what adversity or emotional–and even physical– danger they face
–the type of parenting mostly likely to promote that approach
–the strategy you need to prevent yourself from becoming more narcissistic if you’re the child of a narcissistic parent.

AMAZON: www.amazon.com/dp/0062348116/keywords=psychology%20books?tag=imprintweb-20
ITUNES/APPLE: books.apple.com/br/book/rethinking-narcissism/id929341420?l=en
BARNES & NOBLE: www.barnesandnoble.com/noresults/9780062348104
INDIEBOUND: www.indiebound.org/book/9780062348111
BOOKS-A-MILLION: www.booksamillion.com/p/Rethinking-Narcissism/Craig-Malkin/9780062348111?id=8510117162309
HARPERCOLLINS: www.harpercollins.com/products/rethinking-narcissism-dr-craig-malkin?variant=32132801200162

www.drcraigmalkin.com

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