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Divorce Tip Tuesday: The Emotional Harm a Narcissistic Parent Can Cause Their Children During Divorce

Divorce Tip Tuesday: The Emotional Harm a Narcissistic Parent Can Cause Their Children During Divorce

Emotional Harm a Narcissistic Parent Can Cause

Narcissistic parents harm their children whether there is a divorce or not. Add divorce to the mix and the narcissist become vindictive, suffers a narcissistic injury and goes full-force vindictive.
It’s almost as if they are hell-bent on making their ex and children pay for the suffering they are experiencing do to the narcissistic injury.

With a lack of insight into their behavior the narcissist is either unable to see the damage they do, or, due to their lack of empathy doesn’t care about the damage they do. If you’re the other parent, I’m sharing insights into their behavior plus personal experiences from my son’s relationship with their narcissistic father.

8 Ways the Narcissistic Parent Can Cause Harm

1. Your Child Won’t Be Heard or Validated

As I’ve said in the video, the narcissist doesn’t consider consequences before acting and if he doesn’t something that hurts your child, he doesn’t consider your child’s voice or opinion. He doesn’t care or take into consideration how his actions impact his children. Only he deserves validation, everyone else will be immediately shut down by him.

2. Your Child Will Learn That Being Real Isn’t Safe

The narcissistic parent defines what is and isn’t real. If your daughter is uncomfortable meeting his new girlfriend, he will dismiss her discomfort and something she is making up because of what she has heard from her Mom. If your son writes an email that is grammatically correct with no spelling errors he will accuse the son of letting Mom write the email. The narcissistic parent deflects what is real to your child onto what is real to him.

3. The Narcissist Will Share Too Much With Your Child

No information is sacred to the narcissistic parent. No child’s emotional state is of importance to the narcissistic parent. If it’s information that can make you look back, it will be shared with their child and the child will be told it’s a secret. “Don’t tell Mom.” This puts the child in the precarious position of having to carry around harmful information and no one to soothe their emotional upheaval.

4. Your Child Won’t Be Emotionally Nourished.

Asking for or expecting emotional nourishment from a narcissist is like asking a 2-year-old to carry on a conversation about quantum physics. They don’t have the emotional IQ to offer other’s emotional nourishment. And, if it is offered, it’s only because the narcissist is in a situation of trying to look good in front of others.

5. Your Child Is Expected To Be There For The Narcissistic Parent

The narcissistic parent won’t be there for the child. My ex goes 6 and 7 years at a time without contacting or seeing his sons. Why? Because he thinks it is their place to contact him. It is their place to be there for him, not the other way around. It’s sick!

6. Your Child’s Needs Won’t Be Met

The narcissistic parent cares about no one’s needs but their own. They will plow right over their own children if it means getting their needs met. They, at no time, put any thought or effort into meeting their children’s needs. This can lead to feelings of worthlessness in your child and it’s imperative that you take up the slack when it comes to meeting their needs.

7. The Narcissistic Parent Will Shame and Humiliate Their Child

If it will make the narcissist feel better about themselves they have no qualms about shaming and humiliating their child in front of others. They will compare your child to others, disparaging the way your child dresses or even looks. This can lead to low self-esteem in your child and I, personally have no problem with you telling your child that their father is sick and twisted and unable to behave like an adult.

8. Your Child May Suffer Mental Health Issues

There is a high probability that exposure to the narcissistic parent will cause PTSD symptoms, depression, anxiety and other mental health issues in your child. My youngest was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder at 17-years-old. After my ex had a session with the psychiatrist, the psychiatrist told me this, “That fucking narcissist has nearly destroyed his son’s life.”

Please, at the first sign of distress, get your child into therapy.

Parenting The Child With a Narcissistic Parent

Empathetic Parenting

The narcissistic parent, parents without empathy. They have no ability to feel empathy so it only makes sense they would parent without it. You have to do the opposite and parent with empathy and love.

To maintain a close bond with your children, it is essential for you to focus on being lovingly responsive in your interactions with them. You want to relate well with them, sense what they are feeling, help them put their thoughts and feelings into words, and anticipate their reactions as well as their needs.

Validate Their Feelings

Validating a child means letting them share their thoughts and feelings without judging, criticizing, ridiculing or abandoning them. You let your child feel heard and understood. You convey that you love and accept them no matter what they’re feeling or thinking.

Coach Your Child Through Negative Emotions

Emotion coaching is the practice of talking with children about their feelings and offering kids concrete strategies for coping with emotionally difficult situations.

Get Them Into Therapy

In the video, I advise parents to get their children in therapy at the first sign of distress. If you’re 100 percent sure your are dealing with a narcissistic ex, you may not want to wait until you see signs of distress.

If you can do the 4 things above you have a very good chance of countering the harm the narcissistic parent will do. You have the opportunity to counterbalance and fill up the gaping holes the narcissistic parent will leave in your child’s heart.

The post Divorce Tip Tuesday: The Emotional Harm a Narcissistic Parent Can Cause Their Children During Divorce appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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narcissistic men fear the most

10 Things That Narcissistic Men Fear The Most

narcissistic men fear the most

 

Narcissists are not brave individuals. Despite their puffed up chest, they are scared little paper tigers that can easily be blown away by anyone who catches wind of their antics.

In this article, I will go over 10 things narcissists hate & fear the most.

I think you will find that their fears and hatred are comical in nature, as well as outstandingly pathetic.

10 Things Narcissistic Men Fear the Most

1. Shame

Shame is unpleasant for everyone but for the narcissist, it’s absolutely horrifying. The main reason is that shame could negatively impact his reputation and give him a lower status in his social circle.

Since narcissists live for being admired and their pride is of great importance doing something that could make the narcissist look bad in the eyes of others or make them feel ashamed is one of the most dreaded experiences for them.

2. Rejection

The narcissist usually puts on a mask so that they can be accepted and liked by others. They wouldn’t admit that anyone could be put off by their egotistic character.

If a person decides to leave the narcissist’s life, the latter will take it personally and will surely try to bring the other person back.

However, if they don’t succeed they’ll probably start slandering about their former friend.

The reason for such a behavior is that behind the narcissist’s fake attitude lies a frightened, little soul who is terrified that they aren’t good enough, but they would never say it openly. They’ll be likely to do whatever it takes to keep their reputation.

3. Failure

Narcissists fear failure or being outshined. They just can’t accept there’s someone out there who’s better than them. On top of that, if a narcissist can’t achieve their goal, they will always blame someone else about it, even if it is obvious that it’s entirely their fault.

They usually blame their closest people to have hindered them from succeeding. This is actually the only way to feel a bit better about their failure.

4. Getting Called Out on Their Lies

Narcissists are famous for lying or exaggerating certain things to make themselves appear more important or impressive. They also do this to make themselves feel better about their own standing in society.

So it’s only logical that one of a narcissists’ greatest fears is having those lies and exaggerations exposed. It’s not just that getting called out would bring them shame, or show them as less than what they are – it’s the fact that it reveals to the world how weak and insecure they really are.

It brings their whole fake world crashing down around them, and as already stated, narcissists think the world revolves around them. And while they are spinning their lies and exaggerations about their own accomplishments, part of them knows deep down that they’re stretching the truth. And from the minute they start telling these lies, they become incredibly paranoid about the fact that someone might one day uncover them. 

5. Feeling Remorse 

Another key characteristic of narcissism is the inability to feel remorse. It’s not just that they can’t feel remorse, it’s that they actively refuse to show remorse. This fierce rejection of the very notion of feeling bad about hurting others is indicative of very deep fear.

It’s a total denial of remorse. And why do they fear remorse so much? It’s simple. To them, remorse is a characteristic of weakness. Remorse, to them, shows vulnerability and emotional frailty. And to feel remorse is to open yourself up to that weakness.

Remorse is also in its basest form the acceptance that you have made a mistake. And for proud and haughty individuals such as narcissists, this can be unthinkable. More than that – it can be a major source of fear. Remorse is also a way of apologizing, and this is also unthinkable for self-aggrandizing people with narcissistic traits.

6. Feeling Gratitude

Another feeling that narcissists reject and fear is gratitude. Gratitude, like remorse, is another emotion that is perceived as a sign of weakness by people who are narcissistic. To the narcissist, gratitude is in a sense giving other people power over yourself.

It’s the acceptance that you owe something to someone. It also forces you to come to terms with the fact that you might have needed someone else’s help. To narcissistic people, they think of themselves as these all-powerful beings that rise far above others in superiority.

The acceptance that someone else did something valuable for them brings them crashing back down to earth. The notion that someone else gave them something they needed not only puts them on the same level as others, it also makes them feel like they’re weaker, or lower down on the social ladder. And this is one of the narcissistic man’s greatest fears.

7. Public Humiliation

When a narcissist feels that he’s losing face or failing at something in front of an audience, it creates a lot of psychological distress and cognitive dissonance. Narcissists are unable to tolerate failure of any sort and public humiliation is considered the worst type of failure that could happen.

A narcissist’s ego is an extremely fragile thing and when he feels he is being laughed at or is losing the respect of others, it can be tremendously upsetting. The narcissist’s ego is the only protection they have from the world and when their ego integrity is breached, narcissists often respond in ways that seem markedly out of proportion to the circumstances for average people.

Unfortunately, the ego of a narcissist is already so inflated that they never focus on self-growth when in relationships. Their own self-assessment of their worth and value confirm to them that they are already significantly evolved and accomplished.

They are unable to fathom why a partner may be disappointed in their behavior or in the relationship. By being so out-of-touch with the realities of relationships, their reaction to the dissatisfaction of their partners is driven by fear.

8. Abandonment and rejection.

Narcissists are afraid of being rejected or abandoned. That’s why they fly into rages and punish and threaten you if you threaten to leave them, and love bomb you if you do manage to get away.

To reject a narcissist means you are rejecting the false self they have so carefully constructed to impress you. To reject that false self negates their entire reason for existing since whatever true self they may have left is completely inaccessible to them and the false self cannot survive on its own; it’s completely dependent on the approval and attention of others, who it feeds from like a vampire.

When you reject a narcissist they are forced to confront their own emptiness and nothing scares them more than that. They will fight tooth and nail to avoid it, even if it means they have to destroy you in the process.

9. Being ignored.

This is a no-brainer. Ignoring a narcissist means giving them no supply at all, and without narcissistic supply, the narcissist dies a slow death. Or believes they will.

That’s why some narcissists would even rather being hated to being ignored. Negative attention is still attention, and at least it provides an acknowledgment that they still exist.

When you ignore a narcissist, it’s as frightening to them as being killed. They’re no longer confident they exist without your attention.

10. Exposure.

Exposing a narcissist and their false lives cause deep anger in them. Their anger might be expressed in rage or in more covert means such as the silent treatment or gaslighting you. They don’t like to be held accountable for the things they do to others, because that means they have to admit they are less than perfect.

It also means they have to acknowledge the humanity of someone else, which they aren’t capable of doing. Narcissists are all too aware of their imperfections, but only at the subconscious level, and the way they handle this is to project their own imperfections onto you.

So a narcissist might tell you that YOU are the narcissistic one, or that YOU are the abuser. They’re also good at getting others to side against you, and those people become their flying monkeys. They will accuse you of doing things that they themselves have done and everyone believes them and not you.

The post 10 Things That Narcissistic Men Fear The Most appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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7 Steps To Getting Healthy After Narcissistic Abuse

7 Steps To Getting Healthy After Narcissistic Abuse

 

Narcissistic abuse is one of the most devastating things you could ever go through.

However, this does not have to be a life sentence.

There are steps that you can take to rise up and out of abuse symptoms, and into your true and new healthy relationship with self, others and all of life.

Today, in this a very special Thriver TV episode, I have the absolute joy of sharing with you the seven steps that myself, and many other Thrivers in the community, have used to not just merely survive abuse, but to truly enter the life of our dreams.

 

 

Video Transcript

After being narcissistically abused there is a necessity to get healthy .…

Because you are probably going through the worst time in your life, you may feel like you’ve lost your life force, your well-being, your hope for the future, and possibly even your will to try to move forward and rebuild your life.

I know, 100% you may feel like your life is over, and you can’t even imagine what it would feel like to be healthy again.

I promise you that how you feel, and what your life looks like, isn’t going to be your reality for the rest of your life, if you work on these seven points that I’m going to be sharing with you today.

But, before I do, I’d just like to take a moment to thank all of you who have subscribed to my channel for supporting the Thriver mission, and if you haven’t yet done so please do, and also if you like this video please make sure to give it a thumbs up.

Okay so let’s start off by having a look at the first step to reclaiming your health after narcissistic abuse.

 

Step Number One – Start Self-Partnering

Self-partnering is vital. In fact, it’s crucial. And the reason that it is so foundational for Thriver recovery after narcissistic abuse is because it puts us back inside our body. Here we find and reverse all the unconscious reasons that led us to be narcissistically abused in the first place.

Initially, it is a very hard pill to swallow – understanding that we can be very susceptible to narcissistic abuse as a result of suffering a disconnection from ourselves. One that is extreme enough that unknowingly we are trying to seek the missing parts of ourselves, from outside of ourselves.

However, the truth does set us free. Because when we understand that there was a fracture within us, we can take our power back and heal it.

If we are not fully anchored in our body, being an inner emotional experience of knowing that we are lovable and worthy and as an adult capable of generating our own security and survival, then we are seeking these essential commodities from other people to try to feel whole on the inside.

Ironically, this lack of inner wholeness has nothing to do with how intelligent, capable or accomplished we are. These are emotional gaps within us, that often cause us to overcompensate and be even more practically high functioning than most people.

Narcissists know and sense these gaps within us. They know how to appear as the saviour of these parts of ourselves that we seek from the outside, whilst mining and sucking dry our capabilities and resources.

When we are not in our body, self-partnered, and integrated as a whole emotional source to ourselves, we dismiss our inner warning signs and we may even rationalise away the traumatic feelings of being abused. We are also likely to cling to the person who is the source of the abuse, trying to get them to change what they are doing so that we can feel safe and whole.

To rectify all of these patterns of being codependently abused by others requires self-partnering. It means rather than look to the outside to solve our problems, heal our wounds, and take away the pain, we realised that the work has to be done between us and ourselves, within ourselves.

When we turn within with the right intention toward our Inner Being, we are moving out of Wrong Town, and back home to ourselves.

I want you to repeat after me, ‘I am here for you. I will love and accept you – wounds and all. I am here to help you heal with everything I have, and I am never leaving you again.’

This is when we make the switch from living life ‘from the outside in’ to living life ‘from the inside out.’

It’s the only way to heal and Thrive.

 

Step Number Two – Engage Self-Devotion

It’s one thing to know that we have to turn inward and start becoming a source of self instead of trying to get others to give us ourselves … but it’s another to know how to start treating ourselves nicely.

I really want you to understand that you need to let go of trying to blame and shame and punish and criticise yourself into shape.

Can you see how, if you have been doing this – treating yourself with conditional love, and harsh expectations, why you have drawn into your life and tolerated someone who has been reflecting back how you have been treating and talking to yourself?

Self-devotion means this: ‘I am going to talk to myself lovingly the way that I would talk to a small child I adore.’

After narcissistic abuse you are healing, and you require your own tenderness and kindness. You need to be able to say to yourself every day, ‘I am proud of you, I love you and I’m here to support you all the way. You will get through this.’

And in times of triggers and fears, this is about learning how to be kind, supportive and present with yourself, and teach yourself how to breathe, while remaining in your body. The times when we make our most self-annihilating decisions are when we self-abandon.

Thriver self-devotion means not running away from these feelings anymore and making choices that only hurt you more – such as attempting to self-medicate with abusive people, terrible food choices, active addictions, mind-numbing distractions and all sorts of things that take you away from becoming your best lover, supporter and healer.

When we are doing these things to ourselves, we are not in control of our own lives, and we are highly susceptible to being controlled by people who hurt us.

Thriver self-devotion can also mean becoming extremely healthy with self-care, good nutrition, healthy exercise, regular sleep and maybe seeing a holistic practitioner who can help get your mineral and vitamin levels balanced and healthy again.

I want to share with you this vital fact – we will never tolerate a level of abuse that is beyond what we are capable of doing to ourselves. If we ignore the calls for help from our Inner Being, self-abuse ourselves with terrible choices, and continue to criticise and blame and shame ourselves, as well as feed ourselves with toxic food, then the identical treatment from the outside is what is familiar and what we will tolerate.

Treating ourselves with love, respect, devotion, and tenderness reverses all of that.

 

Step Number Three – Taking The Healing Time

A big mistake that many people make is trying to just get on with life.

I know that as a result of narcissistic abuse, you may have lost a great deal of ground, years, resources and the like. It’s very usual to try to just get up and get on with it again, and many people are shocked to find out that they just don’t have the capacity within themselves to achieve that.

This happened to me too. I had always been a doer, a high achiever who believed that my value and ability to be accepted depended on my accomplishments. After narcissistic abuse, I was forced for the first time ever in my life to place my soul and Inner Being as the number one priority. And I wasn’t going to survive until I did.

What I discovered, as a result of fully dedicating myself to healing and knowing that that was my greatest mission in life, was to repair my relationship with my Inner Being, in order to create true relationships with life and others.

This was the first time in my life that I understood how to get life right at the core base level where I needed to.

You will too, when you accept what I did – that it’s time to put your outer life on hold. It’s time to say ‘no’ to things and people outside of yourself and say ‘yes’ to you and your Inner Being. By doing so you will discover that you can self-partner and self-devote and start truly healing within your own being in order to change yourself.

Then the changes in your life will follow automatically.

I liken this to being a bird with broken wings, going into the bird hospital to spend the appropriate amount of time there, who then comes out and soars high in the breeze with the world literally at its feet.

This is exactly what you have to look forward to if you take this necessary hiatus and treasure your healing time. All of your real life does depend on it.

 

Step Number Four – Meet The Trauma In Your Body

We are so blessed in this space-time reality, right here right now, to be able to have the Quantum tools to bypass our logical brain, meet the trauma in our body, load it up, release it and replace it, so that we can literally shift out of who we were being, into the Being who can actualise the life, love and interpersonal relationships that work.

The old paradigm was about trying to manage the trauma in our body without ever living free of its effects, whilst trying to survive having the thoughts, feelings, people and situations that simply matched our already existing trauma.

Clearly, living trauma free is so much easier, cleaner and more powerful and so much more fulfilling.

This is where my NARP program comes in. You may have seen the incredible results that NARP regularly produces for the members of this community. The reason for these results is that these people, by releasing the trauma from their Inner Beings, opened up space to allow organic well-being that is naturally coded into all of us, namely life force itself, to enter.

Meaning that the old battle with trauma and its symptoms such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, fibromyalgia, agoraphobia, adrenal malfunction all simply melt away. Which means our natural life force fills the space where the trauma once was – joy, creativity, inspiration, and excitement for the future and complete closure from the past, regardless of the age of the person, how much they have suffered or what they have lost.

This is what you can look forward to if you are willing to meet, and do the work, on the trauma in your body.

 

Bonus Step Number Four – Say ‘No’ To Your Old Patterns

This is where you need to get very clear with yourself. You may have released the trauma, but now you need to have boundaries and clear definitions regarding what it means to start experiencing your new life, which may be a life that you have never been able to access before.

So, for example, if your patterns used to be having unavailable people in your life who treated you like you were invisible, then it’s vital that you start showing up with the key people in your life asking for what you need.

It is also going to be vital to do the work on releasing the fears and traumas of being invisible, and knowing that you deserve to have healthy, connected, more committed relationships in your life.

Then you will see who will meet you at the more evolved level of relationship that you are now taking a stand for directly, honestly and lovingly. And in many cases, those who do have the resources will step up and meet you at this higher level of relationship as a reflection of the higher relationship that you are now living between you and yourself.

And, if there are people in your present life who don’t have the resources for communion and connection and intimacy or existing people who refuse or don’t have the resources to meet you there, then you will let go and move on as a fully integrated individual with yourself to be the generative force of taking a stand for what your reality is now.

We can’t continue to participate in our old programs and patterns and believe that the universe will deliver us a different reality. It just doesn’t work like that. What you accept is what you will get, point-blank.

 

Step Number Five – Expand Yourself

Comfort zones are never comfortable. If we stay stuck in comfort zones, then we are not growing. Of course, we stay in a comfort zone because we have a fear of expansion. And there may be many traumas deep in your DNA, which are even survival programs, such as ‘if I try to expand to be fully myself, I may fail or I may be targeted, or even annihilated.’

You may think I am kidding, but I’m not. I can’t tell you the amount of people I have worked on with Quanta Freedom Healing (NARP) who have come up with these deep powerful programs which are stopping them from moving forward into the life that they really want to live.

The easy and powerful way to defeat these is to use Quantum tools to go inside and find these opposing limiting beliefs, load them up and release them and replace them. Then you will easily flow into your desires with confidence and without the powerful emotional resistance that has been holding you back.

As a Thriver, I love to expand. This is one of the most powerful ways I’ve challenged and grown myself by stretching into areas, trajectories, and experiences that I could never access in my previous reality because it was riddled with trauma.

I can’t tell you the joy it is to get free on an inner level so that you can fully shine, glow and expand on any level. Because this is where the juicy, incredible stuff in life really is.

 

Step Number Six – Connect To Your Purpose

One of the most beautiful things that we can ever do to live a healthy life is to connect to our true mission and purpose.

All of us are here for some divine purpose. I totally believe those of us who have gone through narcissistic abuse are here for an incredible purpose. We are all angels, spirits who have been submerged into an experience of extreme darkness and trauma, in order to release the trauma out of our Inner Beings, not just for ourselves but for all of humanity.

When we actualise our true mission of meeting and releasing the trauma, we clear the space for who we really are to start flowing through us, as us. It is then that the connection to our mission comes. It is seeking us as much as we are seeking it. When we get ourselves, our old traumas and limitations, out of the way, that is when we connect.

It is incredibly usual for Thrivers who do the work with NARP, to start getting the inspiration within them about what it is that they truly feel passionate about doing. Many Thrivers within this community, just like myself, have found that calling. It may be similar to what I do, helping others to awaken and recover from abuse for real, and for others, it’s a completely different track.

What is vital to understand is that connecting to that truth is not possible when we’re stuck in surviving the trauma inside of us. We may think that the mission will take away the trauma, but it’s the other way round. When we take full responsibility and address the trauma ourselves, then the mission comes.

Because when that trauma is released, all of the energy that was trapped trying to survive the trauma is freed up to become pure creativity, mission and service.

This is the exhilaration and pure miracle of yourself that you will start experiencing as a result of this step.

 

Step Number Seven – Become Love

I believe that one of the greatest joys of Thriver recovery from narcissistic abuse is to reach the becoming of love. What I mean by this is the return to the truth.

We come home, we understand the truth about the illusions we have been fed, and the need to wake up from them. The knowing that we are all souls on journeys to release ourselves from the darkness and the trauma, to move into the truth and the light of Who We Really Are.

It is from this place of living without trauma that we see the truth that all of this, no matter how it looks, was all meant to be. To have the experiences required to lose those false aspects of ourselves, the lies, the false beliefs, the taking on thinking that we were unlovable, defective or unacceptable, and knowing that everyone who is hurt or hurting others, is still stuck in that lie.

From this place, we have acceptance, gratitude, and compassion for those still stuck in the trance. And we know that our greatest purpose, regardless of what our individual specific missions are, is to be love and to see the truth. It’s then that we let go of our righteousness, demonising and judging which only helps to cement our victimisation and powerless states.

To become love, without fear, is the coming home to the truth. This is where we are set free and we get to experience heaven on earth as we are, right here, right now.

It’s only then that the pain ends and the beauty of our life starts to unfold as the new and true belief systems that we’ve worked hard to heal ourselves back to.

If it wasn’t for the narcissistic abuse happening for us, we would never have had to effort so courageously and consistently to bring ourselves home to the truth.

I hope that these seven steps have helped inspire you to know where you are heading, and the incredible evolutionary gifts that you can claim, with Thriver recovery, after narcissistic abuse.

So, if this is where you want to go, you can get started by working with my NARP program. Join me on this incredible and spectacular journey of self and life, by clicking the link at the top right of this video.

And, if you are already a NARP member, and you are looking for the next steps after abuse to claim your highest and best life, then I’d love to introduce you to my Empowered Self course, which is going through a very powerful upgrade very shortly, which you will receive free of charge as a result of being a member.

You can check out the details of this course also by clicking this link.

Okay so I hope that this video has inspired you, and if you like my videos and you would like to be notified each time a new one is released then please subscribe to my channel. Also remember to give this a thumbs up if you liked it.

Please also share with the people you love so that you can help them wake up out of the human trance as well.

And as always, I am totally looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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Covert Narcissistic Ex Nearly Destroyed Our Children

Maddie’s Story: How My Covert Narcissistic Ex Nearly Destroyed Our Children

Covert Narcissistic Ex Nearly Destroyed Our Children

 

In part one and part two of my story, I discuss how I no longer feel responsible for his behavior and, how I found it so easy to fall in love with him. Today I want to discuss how my covert narcissist destroyed our children.

I guess I should say, nearly destroyed because, thankfully, for them, I was always there to guide them through the damage he did to them. Even with my guidance and love, the damage is there and will last their entire lifetime.

There is nothing more heart wrenching than having no recourse against someone who is doing grave emotional harm to your children. If a stranger had done what their father did, I would have had recourse. But, since it was their father, the family court system turned a blind eye to his behavior.

It started from the beginning, the very beginning before I even knew there would be a divorce.

I’m sharing this information in bullet points in order to keep my thoughts straight and not running together. We’ve been divorced for nearly 2 decades, there is no way I can share the entire story but, these are issues I remember as being the most damaging.

How My Covert Narcissistic Ex Nearly Destroyed Our Children

  • He made the decision to divorce without a discussion with me. One day he was there, the next he was gone. Here is how he told our children before he ever told me. He went to our older son’s school and checked him out of school. He told our son, to not ask him any questions, to get in the car and he would explain after they picked up our younger son. He then went to our younger son’s school and checked him out. Once they were all in the car, the boys in the backseat, he turned, looked at them and said, “Your Mom and I are getting divorced. I’m leaving and never coming home.” Needless to say, our sons became very emotional. They thought they came from a happy home and family. He had just dropped a bomb on them. They begged and pleaded for an explanation, but he refused to look at or respond to their questions and evident distress. He pulled up into the driveway or our home and told them to get out. He left them standing in the driveway, crying with our youngest who was six at the time, writhing on the ground.

 

  • He didn’t see the children for a month after that and when he did, he was only interested in spending time with our youngest. When our oldest son, asked him why he never invited him to visit his father told him, “because I have a deeper bond with your little brother. “I think I love him more than I love you.” I told him he couldn’t take one without taking both, that I would not allow him to ignore the needs of our older son. So, he began visiting with both boys. The problem? Both boys had questions about why he left, why he was doing what he was doing. He refused to answer their questions or allow them to ask questions. He said, “I won’t have my time with you marred by unpleasant conversation.”

 

  • Our oldest eventually stopped going on visitations with him and requested his Dad join him in therapy to work through their “relationship issues.” His Dad refused therapy together but said he would see our son’s therapist on his own when he had time. When asked by our son why he didn’t want to go with him, he responded with, “I don’t owe you anything, not my time, not my feelings, NOTHING.” That’s when our oldest son gave up on his father.

 

  • It’s been 14 years since he’s had a conversation or spent any time with our oldest son. My ex has a DIL and granddaughter that he has never met and, given his actions must not have an interest in meeting. He also has a grown son who is in therapy to deal with the damage done by a father who abandoned him.

 

  • My ex continued to visit with our youngest son. He saw him once a month. No phone calls, email or contact between those once a month visits. Our younger son would email and text him, but he never got a response. He asked his Dad to call on Tuesday nights to help him study for spelling tests. His father refused. He asked his Dad to help him build a car for the Boy Scout’s Pinewood Derby, his father refused.

 

  • Three years after our divorce my ex became seriously involved in a relationship with a woman who had an older daughter. That is when he completely cut off our younger son. He had no communication or face-to-face contact with your youngest or oldest sons for six years.

 

  • When our younger son was 16, he had a psychotic break. He was hospitalized and diagnosed with PTSD and Bi-Polar Disorder. His medical records state “Psychosis due to parental abandonment.” According to the Psychiatrist our son needed his father. The Psychiatrist called my ex and my ex told him that there was nothing he could do to help. That what was going on was my fault, not his. How could it be his fault because he hadn’t seen the kid is six years. The psychiatrist told him that, that was exactly why our son was having issues. My ex hung up on him.

 

  • It’s been another 8 years with no contact from their father. Since the day he left the marriage he has not sent a Christmas gift, Birthday gift, attended a graduation, wedding or acknowledge the important things in their lives.

I’m happy to report that both sons are flourishing. They are stable, ethical men. Both have great careers and one has a lovely family. The majority of their day-to-day lives are lived without thought of their Dad and what he did to them.

They both, however, are in therapy. One is on medication he’ll take for the rest of his life and neither will be rid of the scars left by a covert narcissistic father who discarded them as if they were dirt on his shoes.

The Family Courts and Emotional Abuse of a Child

You can protect your child via the courts if they’re being emotionally abused. You can request a custody evaluation, get a Guardian Ad Litem for them, or a psyche evaluation. There is nothing you can do via the courts to protect a child from abandonment by a father.

Google, “Legally forcing a man to visit his children” and you’ll come up with nothing. I came up with one article that said, “visitation is a privilege, not a legal responsibility?” Since a man who abandons his children isn’t breaking any laws there is no way to hold them legally responsible for the damage done by their abandonment.

That’s why I tell other mothers who are dealing with the damage done by such fathers that it’s up to them to clean up the mess to the best of their ability. It’s up to all us mothers who’ve watched a narcissistic father damage his children to do our best to cushion the damage being done.

We can’t fill the hole left by an absent father. That isn’t within our power. We can let our children know that we are their “ride or die.” We can promote their emotional wellbeing by enlisting friends and relatives to show them love and support.

If you’re lucky you’ve got a brother or father who can step in and take up some of the slack and become surrogate fathers. It still won’t fill that hole left by the father but, there is never too much love and caring given to children who’ve been abandoned.

I was thinking about the Catholic church the other day and how suits can be filed by people who were molested by Priests. My hope is that one day, adults who were abandoned by a parent will have the same right to sue that parent for punitive damages. It won’t make them whole again or undo the damage but, I can think of nothing better than legally punishing a parent who skipped out on their children.

Protect your children, Mamas! You are their lifeline. You are their hope. You are all that stands between them and their narcissistic father.

The post Maddie’s Story: How My Covert Narcissistic Ex Nearly Destroyed Our Children appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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9 Stages of Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse

Everyone’s experience of recovery from narcissistic abuse is different but through our work with hundreds of people, we have seen the same impact crop up over and over again.  “One of the things that happened when I was going through the shitty relationship, as I call it, was that I lost any identity of who I was or what I felt. I’d spent so many years being told what I was and felt and needed.”

I didn’t trust my own feelings anymore. I didn’t trust my own thoughts anymore.  Every decision felt like a fraud.

I have personally been through recovery and remember exactly what it feels like.  So it is with true empathy for you I write this blog which in turn I hope gives you the strength to heal.  My wish for you is you have a secure base to explore your own feelings and to regain the trust in yourself needed to delve deep for true healing.

I remember we were snuggled up on the sofa. I saw a message come through that said, let me know when I can come f**k you.  And I read that with my own eyes.  And my partner denied that message even existed.

It is important that you understand these stages because you can’t get from Despair to Self Actualising in one step.  It is a process.  The stages are not linear, they are more of a spiral.  A journey around the stages. There is no timescale and no step by step approach, stages are often revisited as things are re-triggered or re-evaluated with a new level of awareness.  But it’s not as scary as it sounds once you know how to spot the stages and exactly what to do to move on.

  • Grief… yes you are experiencing loss

    Empty. Can’t feel anything. Numb. Something is missing. It wasn’t all that bad. No in fact we had some amazing times. What if I just….

    Conflict between your feelings is a common first step. Everything from sadness and missing the person to the stark reality that it’s for the best.

    Grief is felt along with things like anger, physical symptoms, anxiety peaks, frustration with yourself and the narcissist, depression, overwhelm,

    It’s no wonder then most people are doing a lot of bargaining at this point!

    The first first few weeks after I left, I say left, It had been another one of those mornings of “get the f**k out of my house”. It was like it wasn’t happening.

  • I guess this is really it…

    Eventually you just know its done. For good this time. It feels different to all the other times somehow. There’s a realisation you can’t go back. Everything has changed.

    Then often it’s back to shock and denial. What just happened? You’re googling stuff to see what’s normal. You want answers from the narcissist. Is this what love really is? Struggling with your own emotions has become a daily (hourly thing!)
    You maybe even became obsessive about the narcissist. Remembering good times and minimising bad ones. Making their excuses for them like you always have.

    And of course, there’s still things you have to go and collect, you know, if you’re allowed, I was allowed certain belongings and not others.

  • What did I do wrong?

    Google becomes your best friend, you read everything you can on crappy relationships. The words toxic and narcissist keep popping up. You start to see that this is on them. That this isn’t your fault. They did this to you. And that brings up so many feelings.

    Suddenly, I just felt violated and crazy.

    Every conversation and situation is dissected with new eyes. Some articles mention dependency and co-dependency and maybe you start to see the patterns in every relationship you’ve had. Somewhere along the line you ask… why does this keep happening to me? And maybe you can take the next step to thinking about how to protect yourself in the future too.

  • Taking Back Control

    It is all my doing. I’ve allowed it. In a way that was quite empowering when I got to a later stage. Because if it had been all them, if everything was just their responsibility, and I have no role to play, this was going to keep happening again and again and again, in every relationship that I ever had.

    Actually being able to say, well, alright, so I created this, in some weird way, created the opportunity for me to ask, how do I change? What do I do differently? What do I choose for me? How do I make sure that firstly, I never go back? Because I know, despite just being absolutely devastated, I’ve lost the love of my life. And then, how do I make sure I don’t go through this again?

    You feel powerful when you think about the future. Taking control of your life for you. At first you may be over-cautious and harsh with boundaries, seeing red flags when there are none or being hypersensitive. Sometimes that throws you back to the relationship feelings all over again. And it’s natural to be second guessing at this stage. It can be quite isolating too. But this stage of understanding what you do and don’t want in your life is the start of the future.

  • Rebuilding YOU

    Signed up for a boxing class? Taken up an old hobby?
    Been to the pub? You’re starting to feel a bit more like your old self. Getting back into those old routines but as you now see the world differently, it isn’t as comfortable as it once was. There’s still safety in it. Maybe you’re noticing more and more narcissists around you and want to withdraw into your shell. Or perhaps you’ve turned vigilante and want to expose them all?! It’s normal to feel a lot of anger and external blaming. But those first tentative steps back to you have started….

    And to get to the point where you have everything stripped away. And you can just say, this is how it is for me, is a ridiculously powerful thing.

  • Returning

    Some days you will drop back into old feelings. A trigger or event will flip you back.
    But you can see it now for what it is. You have a new sense of the feeling being separate to your identity.
    You feel useless. you are not useless. You feel angry.
    You are not anger. Having a different perspective on the situation gives you that chance to observe whats happening without being drawn in. Wondering how you would have done things differently still floats around but that’s your imagination playing with your new reality. Of all the stages this can feel the most painful because you just want to get over it and it feels never ending.

    I can recognise my feelings. And I understand that they are mine. I own them. Nobody can take away my anger. Nobody can tell me that I shouldn’t be sad. Nobody can tell me that I shouldn’t feel this way. Because I get to choose how I feel. I get to believe my reality.

  • Surviving

    The most important and powerful thing that I learned was how to set my own boundaries. Learning to say no without justifying myself was just mind blowing, truly mind blowing.

    Feeling like you are back on track is weird. There’s not so much that triggers the old feelings these days and sometimes you can even laugh things off. I know. That doesn’t sound real. Your physical symptoms have subsided, maybe you even get a good nights sleep a few times a week or more. Your comfort zone feels safe but lonely. You stop seeking others in pain as want to forget it and not keep reliving it. There is a real glimmer of future for you.

  • Emerging

    You are actively wanting to pop your head out of the comfort zone, experience more, you have a feeling of hunger in your soul, the abuse has been a catalyst to wanting so much more out of life. Recognising your own toxic behaviours and wanting to be better person is where you are at. You can forgive. Yourself especially. And the personal growth journey is strong.

    And the freedom was the thing that scared me the most I didn’t know what to do with it. I didn’t know how to live my life without somebody else telling me what I should be thinking for you to do it. I just didn’t, It is something I’ve never done as an adult, I’ve never done it.

  • Winning!

    Congratulations! You’re fully functioning as YOU. You have found your purpose and you’re living from your heart. You understand what it means to have unconditional love and you’re strong on the forgiveness of yourself and others. Fully responsible for your own emotions and physical environment, you’ve probably delved into some woo-woo stuff you didn’t think mattered. Finally you are feeling powerful because you are now in full control of your existence. No longer seeking external validation, realising it all comes from you. Self love is your priority.

    I know that I’m truly free

Therapy can be incredible helpful in moving you through these stages.  It’s tough going it alone.  And often there are very real physical changes that make it harder.  It’s not just all in your head.  It never was.  It was always mind, body and soul.  Here’s to you for getting this far, my guess is you’re at stage three already or you wouldn’t have read this far.  You’ve got this.  And I’m here to support you every step of the way.

The post 9 Stages of Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse appeared first on The Nurturing Coach.

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Narcissistic Traits Create Complications During Divorce

How Narcissistic Traits Create Complications During Divorce

Narcissistic Traits Create Complications During Divorce

 

Many women who are married to narcissistic husbands become fed up with the situation and decide to get a divorce. While separating and filing for divorce might bring an immediate sense of relief from the challenges of living with a narcissist, the challenges might very well continue throughout the divorce process.

Divorce is difficult enough without the complications that a spouse with a narcissistic personality disorder can bring to the table. You might face unexpected and unnecessary conflict throughout the legal process, as your spouse might repeatedly attempt to make the divorce as trying as possible for you. Even if you have been dealing with their behavior for years, it can be challenging to stand your ground and ensure that you fight for your rights in the divorce.

How Narcissistic Traits Can Create Complications

In many divorces, both spouses will recognize that – despite their differences – compromise and cooperation will save them money, time, and stress.

However, narcissistic personality traits can make it nearly impossible for your spouse to agree to compromise. Some common personality traits of narcissistic people can include:

  • Unjustified sense of entitlement
  • Inflated superiority and self-importance
  • Putting down those they believe to be inferior to them
  • Expecting constant admiration or recognition
  • Expecting others to comply with their wishes without question
  • Being unable to realize the needs or feelings of others
  • Inability to calmly handle stressful situations
  • Difficulty adapting to change
  • Constantly changing their wants and desires
  • Reacting with angry outbursts or even vengeance if they believe they are not getting what they want at the moment

Because they believe they are superior and in the right, narcissists tend to think that everyone else is in the wrong. Even if your spouse caused most of your marital problems and conflict, expect to be blamed and for them to present themselves as the victim in the situation.

To make matters worse, once your spouse starts blaming you, they will likely be unwavering in this position. They will likely start to believe this narrative themselves.

Expecting Too Much

Because your spouse might believe they are the victim of the divorce, and they might already have an inflated sense of entitlement, they likely will feel entitled to much more than their share in the outcome of your case. They might refuse to agree to a reasonable division of property, custody arrangement, or financial support order.

This might also be the case if your spouse is feeling vengeful and trying to “get back” at you by trying to take everything away from you. This fight to “get everything” can cause serious complications in your legal case.

First, divorce is always simpler and faster when spouses can reach their own agreement. Whether you can agree on the major issues on your own or through mediation, presenting the court with an agreement upfront can save the time and expense of litigation. You should not have to give up more than necessary, however, just because your spouse demands it.

If your spouse is making unreasonable demands that deprive you of property or custody rights under the law, you should stand your ground, no matter how difficult that might seem.

How the Right Divorce Lawyer Can Help in this Situation

Narcissists know how to manipulate a situation to get what they want, so it is important that you have the right divorce attorney on your side from the start of the process. An attorney can look at the situation objectively and keep reminding you of your rights and what you deserve in the divorce outcome.

An experienced lawyer will not take your spouse’s actions and words personally and can help you stay the course until your divorce is final with a fair outcome for you.

In many cases, having an attorney act as an intermediary between your soon-to-be-ex and you can give you the time and space you need to see your situation clearly. In addition, not communicating with your husband directly can prevent you from falling into the unhealthy patterns of communication that likely played a role in the demise of your marriage.

This can often facilitate reaching an out-of-court agreement, which will almost certainly save you a significant amount of time and money.

In some cases, it may be a good idea to ask your spouse to agree to a psychiatric evaluation in order to establish evidence regarding his personality disorder. This is particularly true in cases where you believe your children may be put in danger of emotional or physical harm due to his issues. An official recent diagnosis could be used as evidence in your favor when it comes to the determination of child custody.

Just because your spouse has narcissistic personality traits does not mean you should give up your rights in your divorce case. When you meet with your lawyer initially, be honest about your spouse’s personality, so your lawyer knows what they will be dealing with right from the start. They can then plan a strategy to help you obtain a successful outcome as efficiently as possible.

The post How Narcissistic Traits Create Complications During Divorce appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome

Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome: Could This Be You?

Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome

 

Narcissists are masters of disguise and narcissistic abuse is a form of thought control, it’s emotional manipulation of another person into handing over their mind and will, and thus their thoughts, desires for the narcissist’s personal gain.

A woman suffering from narcissistic abuse syndrome is often disconnected from her own emotional pain. She tends to obsess over her own failures after years of buying into the flaws her narcissistic partner identified in her.

Her mind is often spinning, preoccupied with trying to sort the confusion — the effects of the use of tactics such as gaslighting and word salad on her mind, with intent to distort her reality and impose his own — seeking an explanation for why the narcissist is so miserable, why he treats her the way he does, why he’s so insecure, why they cannot communicate, why he still doesn’t “get” what she’s trying to tell him, and so on.

In other words, what the victim of narcissistic abuse syndrome feels and thinks about herself, life and the narcissist, in most areas, mirrors to some or greater extent what the narcissist wants her to think, believe, feel.

Not every woman involved with a narcissist will suffer from narcissistic abuse syndrome. Those who are in long-term marriages or relationships are more apt to suffer the repercussions of the narcissist’s attempts at controlling, gaslighting and manipulation.

The result of being on the end of narcissistic abuse is the development of PTSD like symptoms. Some of the symptoms of narcissistic abuse syndrome are as follows.

Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome

Cognitive

  • confusion
  • nightmares
  • uncertainty
  • hypervigilance
  • suspiciousness
  • intrusive images
  • poor problem solving
  • poor abstract thinking
  • poor attention/ decisions
  • poor concentration memory
  • disorientation of time, place or person
  • heightened or lowered alertness
  • increased or decreased awareness of surroundings

Behavioral

  • withdrawal
  • antisocial acts
  • inability to rest
  • intensified pacing
  • change in social interactions
  • loss or increase of appetite
  • hyperalert to environment
  • increased alcohol consumption
  • change in usual communications

Emotional

  • fear
  • guilt
  • grief
  • panic
  • denial
  • anxiety
  • agitation
  • irritability
  • depression
  • intense anger
  • apprehension
  • emotional shock
  • emotional outbursts
  • feeling overwhelmed
  • loss of emotional control
  • inappropriate emotional response

The end result of a relationship with a narcissist is a slow, insidious, breaking down of the self-esteem of his victims until there’s next to nothing left, at which point, the narcissist will frequently throw his partner out in order to look for someone new and full of life to make his next target. Leaving his victim an emotional wreck wondering what she did to destroy their once “perfect” relationship.

Victims are not only spouses. They can be coworkers, employees, children, or friends of narcissists. When the narcissist is the victim’s mother or father, it’s a difficult spot to be in, as most children (even grown children) find it almost impossible to leave the relationship. And the abuse continues for years.

If you think that you or someone that you love is struggling with narcissistic abuse syndrome, it’s important that you seek help. Not only should you make a conscious effort to put the narcissist out of the picture, but you should seek some treatment from a certified professional trained in treating PTSD.

4 Ways to Deal with Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome

Educate Yourself

Learn all you can about narcissistic abuse. Don’t learn all you can about the narcissist. Knowing what makes him tick, won’t undo the damage he has done. Focus on the symptoms you’re experiencing and the tools you need to utilize to help you heal.

Respect Your Boundaries

The key to setting boundaries with a narcissist is to stick to them. You will want to communicate clearly and directly each time. If you make a mistake and find that you “lose it” or say something wrong, just keep practicing and be accountable for your behavior.

Assert Yourself

Know what you want and fight for what you want. Don’t engage in power struggles with your narcissist. In fact, don’t engage with your narcissist at all. The best way to be assertive with a narcissist is to go completely no contact.

Get Help

Get support, seek therapy, and figure out how to move forward with your life without the narcissist partner involved. You don’t need to stick it out with him; it’s your life, and they don’t own it.

Prioritize your own happiness and sanity. In many cases, you might not have a choice, so when you do – get out, now.

The post Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome: Could This Be You? appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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Chronic Health Conditions After Narcissistic Abuse? Watch This

Chronic Health Conditions After Narcissistic Abuse? Watch This

 

Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) is almost synonymous with narcissistic abuse.

So is adrenal malfunction, Fibromyalgia and a host of other nasties.

Tragically many people, as a result of sustaining so much trauma, break down into terrible chronic illnesses.

Are you wondering how on earth you are going to survive your physical conditions and somehow rebuild and have a healthy and happy life?

It is my greatest heartful wish today that you watch this Thriver TV Episode so that you can have some hope. Chronic illness, in most cases, does not have to be your life sentence.

 

 

Video Transcript

Narcissistic abuse creates grave issues for your health.

Stress is a huge contributor to illness because when you are at dis-ease, your inner environment is at its most rampant for disease to occur.

Also, how hard is it to try to do the things that necessitate good health when you are in a battle zone trying to survive?

Naturally, you are not likely to eat and sleep well and do healthy things to maintain a healthy equilibrium.

What health issues does narcissistic abuse cause?

Can these health issues be healed?

If so, how?

All of this and more will be answered in today’s Thriver TV Episode.

Okay, so before we get started, thank you everyone who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Okay … let’s continue!

 

What Happens to Your Levels of Stress When Abused?

I believe, in our evolving world now, it is incredibly naïve of us if we believe that stress isn’t a major condition affecting our health – including physically.

From the Quantum and Thriver Healing perspective, it is toxicity, namely stress, that generates the symptoms of narcissistic abuse, including health issues.

When you are being belittled, degraded, confused, manipulated and mined, you will experience a decline in vital life-force.

What does that really mean?

It means that you start to lose self-belief, self-worth and the knowing of your internal compass in the world. Reality becomes skewed and it’s difficult to be safe – not just in your environment and with the person abusing you, but maybe with many other aspects of your life as well.

You may feel incredibly alone in this experience, and even unsupported and misunderstood by the people you used to have safe connections with.

You may wonder, ‘Who can I trust?’

And as you become more isolated, you may even start to blame yourself: ‘Is it me with all the problems?’

Here we have the breakdown of the fabric of your foundations as a human spirit, in your own body, in the world.

Memories of your past are traumatic; your present is full of anxiety and depression; and your future is daunting and overwhelming. You have no idea who you will be or how you will end up, going forwards.

Those of us who have experienced narcissistic abuse, usually report that it was the most stressful time of our entire life.

Truly, unless you have been through this, you couldn’t even begin to imagine it.

 

What Are the Physical Effects of Stress?

We start to realise in and after narcissistic abuse that we are having incredibly different feelings and visceral experiences inside our body.

It’s akin to having a horrible virus inside us. It feels like a black ink is running through our veins and we are stuck inside ourselves – feeling oddly disconnected from and unable to connect with our outer world.

We also feel unable to access our desires and dreams, and maybe even connect with those we love and care about.

And … maybe everything we try to do to shake this horrible soul dread, that has taken hold inside, just isn’t working.

But what is really going on chemically within us for these obscene feelings to become so all-consuming?

 A lot is now understood by neuro-scientists about the effects of trauma on our chemical and cellular selves. We now know that events that traumatise us, create brain synopsis messages and the hard wiring of fear and powerlessness. These feelings then generate more of the same and cement the continuation of the traumatic emotional ‘rushes’ that we feel.

We then suffer a peptide addiction to the terrible emotions that are traumatising us such as ‘fear’, ‘heartbreak’, ‘powerlessness’ and ‘victimisation’. All of these emotions have their own corresponding peptide that becomes sought after by our body’s cells, which in turn have become addicted to the ‘rushes’ of pain (even though they are destroying us).

Painful emotional peptides, which literally hurt us physically as our cells receive them, destroy our cells’ capacity to absorb oxygen and nutrients. This then creates an environment where our entire being is prone to dis-ease.

Our body biology is all out of whack, and our immune systems start to malfunction.

Ironically, when we are stuck in deadly peptide addiction, generating more internal trauma, then we make choices that add to the toxicity.

To try to escape the trauma that we are feeling in our bodies, we are prone to pick up drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, or other addictive substances or behaviours, to try to numb the pain. This then causes more damage to our Beings and only adds to the trauma.

Our actions and addictions may include looking up the Ex on social media, being addicted to information about narcissists, or ranting on abuse forums to other victims. There may be some relief in the moment – which truly is about your addiction to victimisation getting chemically fulfilled – but then the pain comes back again, twice as strong.

Obsessive thinking about the trauma, talking about it and researching it, only compounds and cements the trauma, and fulfils the chemical addiction of being a traumatised victim.

Like all addictions, the fulfilment level is ever increasing, as is the urge to self-medicate with thinking, talking and researching. But it’s like picking a scab that never heals and always grows back bigger.

Sooner or later your Inner Identity has embraced your situation as a victim as the absolute truth for you.

This is why abused people, even decades after the actual abuse, keep breaking down more and more as the years go on. If you have been on contemporary abuse forums and have read people’s posts decades after narcissistic abuse, you will know what I am saying is true.

Even trying to ignore the trauma by distracting yourself is not healthy. Unattended to trauma is as faithful as housework – it only piles up, increases and does push-ups in the background while waiting for a gap to burst through!

Of course, the strain of the unattended and growing trauma within you is making your interior toxic and is taking you towards breakdown. This is because trauma that is not addressed, will start to express itself more than emotionally and mentally – it will appear physically.

Already the nervous system is affected, because the emotional/visceral and nervous systems, where trauma impacts and accumulates, are all deeply inter-related.

The nervous system starts breaking down with things like Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), panic attacks and agoraphobia. Anxiety and depression are also by-products.

Then the dis-ease moves into the body. Fibromyalgia can set in as well as adrenal malfunction, hair loss, and other associated break downs. Terrible auto-immune diseases are common, as are even more serious diseases, which can take hold as your cellular and immune systems degrade because of the unhealed trauma – the literal toxicity – inside you.

It is, in fact, extremely common for those suffering narcissistic abuse to have to get to the point of body breakdown before they are ready to heal.

After all, most of us have been very capable of simply ‘getting up and getting on with it’ until this point!

 

The Truth About the Ability to Heal from Chronic Health Issues

Sadly, our medical profession is in the business of treating symptoms of abuse but not actually curing the cause of these symptoms.

You may have been told that you will have C-PTSD for life, or that any cure will be very gradual and will take years.

This is simply NOT the truth.

The same goes for the host of other emotional and physical conditions that you may be suffering, as a result of narcissistic abuse.

Over the years people have asked me this question: ‘If it was the stress of this person that caused me to get so sick, then why didn’t I get better after I left this person?’

It can be shocking to us that even when we get away from an abuser we still don’t heal.

That used to shock me, too.

Why is this the same for all of us?

Because if the trauma that has wedged within you, remains, you are facing a lifetime of trying to survive and manage the trauma – instead of living free from it.

The trauma has to be healed, for real, to get better – emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially and physically. There is no other way.

I and so many people within this community suffered incredible disorders that we were told we would NEVER recover from.

My personal diagnosis was that I would need anti-psychotics for the rest of my life; that I would never again function as normal, and my brain and body would never repair.

All of that was a complete lie.

When I released and replaced the traumas from within me that were responsible for my dis-eases, I started to heal in ways that I couldn’t even imagine.

Within months my symptoms were completely gone and I had evolved into higher states of health and confidence and expansion than I could have ever dreamed of.

It is another lie that you will need to be institutionalised into a system of medication and therapy for years or decades to survive what happened to you.

 

Please Be Inspired

I couldn’t even begin to tell you the thousands of incredible stories of healing and resurrection on all levels, including of course physically, within this community.

There are very few Thrivers who have NOT received health improvement, healing or complete remission of previous conditions, after using NARP to release the trauma of the abuse they suffered.

And if that was not possible, because health was just too far gone, these Dear Souls have been able to reach a peace of Self, that they couldn’t previously access.

What is consistent for anyone who experiences narcissistic abuse, is that under the stress of the abuse we BREAK down.

Yet, in most cases, we CAN come back from that.

Just like Frances…

Who was with a narcissist in her late 40’s.

She had a breakdown due to his affairs and triangulation. Things were so bad, even her beloved sons abandoned her. When Frances was diagnosed with serious stomach cancer, she knew she had to heal.

Frances broke away and addressed, released and uplevelled her internal trauma with NARP, until she felt nothing for him, even though he lived in the same neighbourhood.

Her sons returned to the mother they had always loved, but who they previously couldn’t watch destroy herself.

Frances, six years on, is cancer free and has a new and beautiful husband, vocation and home. Her life is a testament to completely changing her life from the inside out.

Then there is Nancy, who at 61 years of age and had only ever known abuse, even as a child.

Nancy was diagnosed with severe Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA), an auto-immune disease, which when she was in abusive relationships would flare up to almost intolerable levels that even her most powerful medications could not ease.

After only a year of committing to do the inner work with NARP, Nancy reported that not only was she was free of her painful and narcissistic relationship patterns, but that all the symptoms of RA had either reduced tremendously or disappeared entirely.

And then there is Anki…

Who was suffering from the several chronic illnesses of Fibromyalgia and severe ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis), a devastating multi-system disease that causes dysfunction of the neurological, immune, endocrine and energy metabolism systems.

Anki was housebound, almost always in bed, and could only crawl to the bathroom. She couldn’t stand or walk because her muscles were too weak.

She would also suffer exhaustion or fever from the smallest of things like brushing her teeth or washing her face. Certain lights or sounds knocked Anki out for days.

Anki couldn’t work or even leave the house.

She was told she would never be able to work again and would only get worse; that she would never recover. Anki, at the time, was 47 years of age.

But all this was before Anki started healing with NARP. In less than two months, she felt totally different and could take walks outside. Also, Anki started working part-time.

After five months Anki was off much of her medication, some of which she had been on for 25 years!

Within 18 months Anki was working fulltime, was completely medication free, and was exercising and walking for up to an hour a day. Her diagnoses/chronic illnesses were taken away from her medical journal by her doctor.

 

You Are Worth Your Healing

Okay, so I really want you to know, with all of my heart, that regardless of your abuse situation, when it started, who it was from, and what chronic conditions you may have had (even for life), the healing path for you is IDENTICAL to my healing path and that of all the other Thrivers.

Namely – get the trauma out and start to see the healing begin – which is what the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) does.

I’d love you to learn more and experience exactly how to do this in my FREE Masterclass.

You can do this by clicking this link – FREE Masterclass on Wednesday, 16 October 2019.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always, I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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Afraid Of What The Narcissistic Will Do Next? – Do this

Afraid Of What The Narcissistic Will Do Next? – Do this

 

One of the scariest things about narcissists is that you have NO idea what he or she will do next.

When cracks have appeared in your relationship, or you have separated, then abuse from a narcissist can REALLY heat up.

You may have already experienced the cruel, terrible acts that are designed to hurt you deep within your soul, life and emotions, and threaten everything that you love.

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I am going to help you understand the TRUE way you can predict a narcissist, as well as finally keep yourself SAFE from one.

 

 

Video Transcript

I know it can be terrifying to wonder what the narcissist will do next.

You may be going through this right now.

People all the time want to know: ‘Will he do this?’, ‘Is she likely to do that?’ and ‘Because this happened, does it mean this will happen?’

Narcissists can be very predictable, even though we believe they are unpredictable.

We know there are certain behaviours that they are really prone to do.

Today, I am going to tell you what it is that you can do, so that you will get free of every fear of what the narcissist will do next.

In fact, the information I am sharing with you, in this video, will get you to the point where you say ‘who cares’. And when you get to this point … you’ll have nothing to fear.

Okay, before we get started, thank you everyone who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Alright, let’s get started on today’s episode!

 

What IS the Narcissist Going to Do Next?

It is when we try to work out what narcissists are going to do next by observing them, looking them up on social media, asking people about them, and watching out for them, that we can go SO wrong!

Likewise, it is Wrongtown even just obsessing about what has happened and wracking our brains about what could happen next.

Why?

Because the answer is NOT to be found in ANY of these places.

What do narcissists ALWAYS do?

This…

They do THE thing we fear is going to hurt US the most.

You may think this is crazy, yet I promise you, from the ten plus years that I have been working with people every day to overcome narcissistic abuse, as well as deeply investigating my own narcissistically abusive relationships, I KNOW that what I just said is the absolute truth.

Narcissists don’t have their own Identity – they are a False Self.

When relationships with narcissists crack, they try to keep punishing you for not appeasing their False Self. They also want to retain you for narcissistic supply, hoping to affect you to enforce their own significance.

Therefore, the greatest insult to a narcissist is for you to not grant them any energy or attention whatsoever, and to move on with your life.

So, to combat this, the narcissist is going to go for your ‘gap’. Meaning what hurts and what will get you emotionally triggered, reacting and granting him or her narcissistic supply again.

 

What You Find ‘In There’

To take your power back and get impervious to what the narcissist will do next, step number one is to stop observing and researching him or her (or narcissism in general) to try to work out WHAT will happen.

Instead – turn inwards to observe and research yourself.

I promise you the answer is in there.

But before you start doing this inner work, I want to convince you a little more about why this is necessary.

Think about your life with the narcissist and what this person triggers off within you.

Is it not the things that have been in repeat in your life that are painful for you in this relationship with the narcissist?

Things like blaming you for issues; telling you that you are defective, no good or selfish; smearing you; not trusting in and believing you; not recognising you or loving you for who you are; controlling and being possessive of you; or treating you like you are invisible.

Because these are likely to have been your ‘normal’ struggles, and it is not until you go within that you may realise that these things have been in repeat. These unhealed wounds may have been painfully evident in childhood and then continued on throughout your adult relationships.

My unhealed wounds were about being controlled, distrusted, betrayed and engulfed by people. I also had terrible terrors of abandonment and not being able to survive on my own without a man.

All of these patterns were prevalent and hugely triggered and brought to life in my narcissistic relationships.

What did the narcissists in my life do next, when things went south?

This…

They betrayed me with smearing and abandonment, and they attacked my security. ALL of my biggest fears!

What happened before my Thriver Recovery, both times, when these fears were triggered? I went into a frenzy of terror, dread, heartbreak, righteousness or rage. I obsessed, retaliated, handed power over and each time got crushed even further by them.

Even when the narcissists didn’t continue the crushing, the chip had been planted inside me; I crushed myself.

Yet, the same narcissists did different things with different people, according to each person’s own fears – I promise you this is the truth.

 

You Can’t Change Them, You Can Only Change Yourself

The next way we can go straight into Wrongtown is by thinking ‘Okay, now that I know the narcissist does what I fear, I’m going to try to stop the narcissist doing that.’

Maybe if I call the narcissist out, he’ll stop.

Maybe if I appeal to her, she will cease doing this.

Maybe I should try to make a deal…

Or threaten back with something…

Or try to inform others so that the narcissist is exposed and held accountable.

All of these equal ‘how to lose’. In fact, it will only energise what you fear and make it more likely to happen to you.

Be honest, you have already tried some, if not all, of these things (plus more). You know it doesn’t help matters.

This I want you to know with all of my heart: the experience of narcissistic abuse is an absolute energetic phenomenon, which is teaching you that you and your fears are front and centre with this person.

I’ll put it to you simply.

What you fear is what the narcissist will smash you with.

It is when you conquer YOUR FEAR, and not the narcissist, that the experience of narcissistic abuse and the narcissist can and will exit your life.

I promise you, relief and freedom happened in my life, and have happened for Thriver after Thriver in this community, once we had done the inner work to become Anti-Fear.

What does Anti-Fear mean?

It means having no emotional charge of fear on the previous fearful topic, regardless of what the narcissist is or isn’t doing.

 

How Is It Possible to Become Anti-Fear?

You may think it is madness to try to become fearless about something that is being triggered right NOW by the narcissist’s obscene behaviour – or the threat of him or her doing it in the future.

You may also believe it is IMPOSSIBLE.

Yes, it is impossible if you keep your focus on the narcissist.

Yet, it is TOTALLY possible when you accept that the INNER GAME is the only one where you can have true power in these situations.

Generally, when people have exhausted every other possibility, and have nothing to lose, they start to apply the Inner Game tactic and then realise how powerfully it works.

How is the Inner Game played?

By taking all focus off the narcissist and going inwards to the traumas within, which are fearful and triggered. By doing the deep healing on these traumas and their origins, so they simply don’t exist anymore.

Like Gina, who was previously terrorised and traumatised by her ex Greg, who was stalking her. By doing the Quantum inner work on the terror of being ambushed and hunted and powerless, that had existed long before Grant, Gina FINALLY felt completely fearless out in life – regardless of what the hell Grant tried to do.

Grant predictably approached her again. She walked straight past him without any feeling whatsoever other than the slight annoyance of ‘Why waste my time?’

Gina shrugged off any residual emotions within minutes. She had graduated. He never approached or attempted contacting her again.

Then there was Katherine. Andrew was belting her with his solicitor and threatening to take the house and full custody of the children. Katherine was so paralysed with fear she could barely eat or sleep.

Katherine turned within to do the work on her terrors of losing her children and her home, and emerged feeling solid and calm on the inside. She stood down her solicitor, sought another one, and felt safe and inspired.

Within three months Katherine was awarded 70 per cent of her property settlement and the majority of shared custody.

Katherine simply kept working on her fears, presenting evidence that her highly motivated lawyer asked her for, and showing up calmly and clearly. The entire time she was willing to accept whatever the outcome was.

In court she had no pangs of fear or anxiety. The narcissist unravelled for all to see, and was reprimanded by the judge.

Then there was Stewart, who was being terrorised by Kristy his ex-wife. She took him back to court every few years – always after more money. The resentment he felt about this was so heavy that he felt crippled to try to meet anyone else or pursue any career advancement.

When Stewart took his focus off resenting Kristy and turned it inwards to heal himself, he found and released many traumas regarding other people using him for their own agendas and him never being allowed to be happy.

After shifting out all of these traumas, he stopped hurting and started dealing with his life. He had the inspiration to go forth and just be himself, regardless of what Kristy would decide to do.

He got a promotion and a girlfriend. He stopped thinking about the repercussions with Kristy.

After this, Kristy never took him to court again. And, as it turned out, she met a new partner and lost all urge to do so.

Are these miraculous turnarounds a coincidence?

If they are, then the thousands of shifts I’ve seen in the past ten plus years are too!

Of course they are not! It’s Quantum Law – so within, so without.

 

It’s Counter-Intuitive, But It’s the Only Way

Something inside of you may be resonating with KNOWING what I am saying is the truth. Your cells have the ability to feel and know when something is!

Or maybe you are so exhausted and emptied out with trying everything else to get out of the fear and pain of narcissistic abuse, that you would be willing to bang two fishes over your head if you thought it would help!

I know it is terrifying to take your focus off the narcissist and put it fully into healing the triggered parts of yourself.

I know it feels like the LAST thing you should be doing.

Yet, I promise you that when you start doing it, you will notice the fear drop away and something else open up.

Then you will see the real life shifts in your life that happen as a result.

And then you will KNOW 100 percent that what I am explaining here to you is the truth – the only truth that was ever going to stop this horror and grant you your true, abuse-free, new life.

This you need to be very clear about – reaching this state is not a logical job.

It’s an inside job – which is not logically achieved.

You can’t think your way into this; you need to heal your way to it.

So if you just know now this is the way, or two fishes seems like an option, it is perfect timing for you…

Because I have recently opened up my next Masterclass, which is a profound healing event that when last held was attended by thousands of people from over 100 different countries. Both during and after the event, we received hundreds of messages and emails saying that, humbly, the event was truly phenomenal.

To join up to this free, healing event please click this link.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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Narcissistic Rage Explained

Narcissistic Rage Explained

 

When you are on the receiving end of narcissistic rage it is SHOCKING, terrifying and confusing.

Do you feel like you are continually walking on broken glass?

And / or are being punished mercilessly for something that you have apparently done?

Find out what narcissistic rage is all about in today’s Thriver TV and discover a way to deal with it if you are the one in the firing line.

 

 

Video Transcript

Narcissistic rage can be terrifying. It can be hot or cold – meaning explosive or smouldering.

Either way, you know you are going to feel the repercussions immediately, later, or both. These are horrifying and heartbreaking, and so often seem senseless.

Today, in this video, I want to explain to you what narcissistic rage is, why it gets set off, and how to survive it.

However, firstly, I just want to take this opportunity to say thank you, everyone, who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you give this a thumbs up!

Let’s get started.

 

The Fragile Narcissistic Identity

It can seem unfathomable that narcissists SO easily react with anger, defensiveness, the silent treatment, deliberate neglect, malicious insults and attacks.

These are all acts of narcissistic rage.

But why do they happen on a hair-line trigger? Why do narcissists take umbrage or respond in ways that most adults just wouldn’t?

It’s because their Inner Identity is not grown-up or healthy. Instead, it is severely stunted in emotional childhood immaturity with a False Self overlay.

Because of traumas suffered earlier in life, the narcissist has created a fictitious character as him or herself. Someone who is grandiose, special, above reproach and entitled to preferential treatment.

All of these identity constructs are necessary to protect the narcissist against how he or she really feels about their own Identity – damaged, unworthy and unlovable.

The ‘hair-line trigger’ is any comment, behaviour or action of another that penetrates and cracks this very flimsy False Self veneer.

When the narcissist is high on narcissistic supply and filled up, then he or she is more robust emotionally. Yet, if he or she is low on narcissistic supply and already suffering the bubbling up of their damaged inner Identity, without the self-medication of a feed of superiority from the outside, then the hair-line trigger becomes like a minefield, ready to explode with any wrong step.

It’s at these times that the retaliations of a narcissist, to any perceived emotional threat, is the most active.

 

Hot and Cold Narcissistic Rage

Hot narcissistic rages usually go off immediately, or very soon after, the apparent violation the narcissist suffered.

This person could be verbally and even physically abusive and threatening. The intensity of a hot narcissistic rage can be terrifying, and even disastrous, to everyone it affects.

Cold narcissistic rages are stealthier, premeditated and planned. Examples are the engineering of abuse by proxy or an elaborate smear campaign against you.

Being the recipient of cold narcissistic rage is the grave experience of being meticulously targeted for revenge. This can be drawn out, incredibly traumatising, insidious and hard to pinpoint and combat.

 

Hiding and Expressing Narcissistic Rage

Many narcissists are skilled at hiding narcissistic rage when they need to. Their life experience has taught them that allowing their true personality to erupt, or to sulk and be childish, does not procure advantages with new targets or people, who they are trying to actively manipulate or mine.

Narcissistic rages are more commonly unleashed on close intimates, such as family, lovers, spouses and maybe friends or work associates, who are in some way bonded, indebted or dependent on the narcissist.

It can be incredibly frustrating for close intimates to live with narcissistic rage on a regular basis, whilst the narcissist maintains such cordial and charming relationships with others.

In short, narcissists will rage at people who they have hooked to them and who hang around for it. Also, they may continue to attack people who they feel have insulted their False Self, even after separating with them.

Now let’s look at what can trigger narcissistic rage.

 

Denied Entitlement

The narcissist’s False Self needs to uphold being ‘more special’ than others.

If the narcissist is not the centre of attention when socialising, this can trigger a rage.

So can the narcissist not getting what he or she wants.

The narcissist’s demands, when unmet or denied, even if unreasonable, selfish, inhumane or totally warped, can trigger a rage.

An example could be you not stopping everything to greet the narcissist at the door.

If something or someone else is made a priority, it can bring on a narcissistic rage.

An example of this may be when someone else is ill and requires attention. Or the mentioning of someone else who is special, instead of attributing that title to the narcissist.

 

If Critiqued Or Questioned

The narcissist’s False Self, within its superior self-construct, is beyond reproach.

Even constructive suggestions to a narcissist can trigger a narcissistic rage.

Certainly, any form of questioning of the narcissist’s decisions, motives, actions or behaviours is stepping on very dangerous territory.

Trying to show or teach a narcissist something, often threatens their sense of superiority and so can trigger a rageful episode.

 

Made To Be Like Everyone Else

One of the narcissist’s greatest horrors is to not be the omnipotent being that their fictitious character needs to imagine itself as.

The huge gap between feeling ‘super-human’ and like a ‘normal-human’ gets closed with a thud, when the narcissist has to do the mundane, everyday things that every responsible adult does.

Things like: turning up on time, keeping your word, paying your bills and taxes, doing the right thing.

These deeds, unless providing narcissistic supply, are appalling to the narcissist. And if there is pressure enforcing ‘normality’, a terrible ego injury can occur, bringing on a narcissistic rage.

 

When Confronted

Narcissists absolutely screw up. They break rules and laws and pathologically lie. They cheat, manipulate, violate and abuse, and have no concern for how their actions affect others.

Naturally, people who are suffering the results of this are going to confront the narcissist and try to hold him or her accountable. This is one of the times when narcissistic rage will be the most obvious.

If you try to back a narcissist into a corner, he or she will come out swinging, using a host of out-of-bounds defence mechanisms.

The conscienceless arsenal that the narcissist uses cuts hard and brutally into your psyche, and leaves you feeling like you are being torn to emotional shreds. You feel like you are losing your mind.

Why is the narcissist so disastrous to your health at this time?

Because he or she is trying to switch the blame and is fighting with every available tactic to maintain his or her idolised image.

 

If Called Out

One of the most sure-fire ways to trigger the narcissist’s rage is to call him or her a narcissist. This never goes well!

If you try to lecture and prescribe to the narcissist about their damaged self, their wounds, their dysregulation and issues, then be prepared to be set upon.

The greatest threat to the narcissist’s False Self is for the charade to be exposed. You are inciting punishment and retaliation when you do this.

 

Warning Signs and the Flushing Out of Narcissistic Rage

After meeting a narcissist, they will hide the immature narcissistic rage part of themselves from you as long for as they need to.

So how do you pick it? And what are the warning signs?

Generally, it starts by you feeling in your own gut that something is not quite right. It could be a way they looked, a slight reaction, or a few words they said.

I have found that by asking people about their life and other people, delusions of superiority can be noticed. They may talk down about other people. Perhaps when you are out with this person, they treat restaurant staff with disdain.

If something isn’t right, it’s important that you question it. Get to the bottom of it, with solidness, poise and integrity. If you do this, I promise you the narcissist will be rattled and will unravel into defences that are immature and uncalled for. Or they will burst into a narcissistic rage right in front of you.

I share this following example often, because it is such a good one.

Some years ago, when on a date, my date was rubbishing his work colleagues. When he asked me how he thought our date was going, I told him that my values didn’t include talking about people in such a derogatory way.

I said it calmly and clearly without fear.

He then flew into a complete rage. A narcissist was well and truly flushed out, and I was overjoyed that I had dodged a bullet.

 

If You Are Being Abused With Narcissistic Rage

Narcissists use narcissistic rage to control and manipulate you; to make you acquiesce and do what they want, drop your boundaries and hand over your rights and power to them.

The narcissist is also using you as their dump master to offload their emotional trauma onto – their inadequacies, self-loathing and deranged inner feelings – to try to relieve themselves of them.

It’s vital that you stop trying to combat, fix or change the narcissist.

There is only one true solution to escape narcissistic rage and all the other abusive things that a narcissist does…

Detach.

Pull away and start taking care of yourself.

For you, this means healing all the fears and inadequacies inside you, which the narcissist has been ripping open and using against you to suck your life-force and keep you hooked.

When you do the RIGHT inner work, you will escape these hooks, breakaway, get well and create your Thriver Life.

You will also render the narcissist powerless in lining you up and continuing to make your life a living hell.

Which is exactly the work that I teach people how to do – it’s my mission in life to help get you there.

If you have had enough of narcissistic rage, don’t wait any longer, come with me and I’ll show you how to break away, heal and become completely impervious to the narcissist’s attacks.

We can do this together in my next Masterclass, which I have just opened up. The last one of these mega healing events had over 7000 attendees, and we had hundreds of emails during and after the masterclass telling us how informative, healing and life-changing it was.

Okay, so to start getting relief, answers and the healing you dearly desire, click this link to the Masterclass.  

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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