Posts

Narcissists Are Predictable! 10 Things All Narcissists Say

Narcissists Are Predictable! 10 Things All Narcissists Say

 

Narcissists would like to think that they are unique. But they’re not.

It’s astounding how narcissists say the same things and it’s actually FREAKY!

In this Thriver TV episode I share with you how virtually all narcissists behave in certain situations, how they will react, and the exact (or close enough) words that commonly come out of their mouths.

I also explain what you can do to not be affected by this ridiculousness!

 

 

Video Transcript

 

I remember over a decade ago, when I started reaching out to people about my narcissistic abuse experience, people commonly said, “That’s exactly what the narcissist said to me too!”

Narcissists would like to think that they are unique. But they’re not.

They are in fact incredibly predictable, and that’s what I want to share with you today – how virtually every narcissist will behave almost identically, in the following situations.

So, watch on to find out how they do!

Okay, so before we get started, I would just like to say that I am extremely excited to share with you that I have released my next Free Masterclass, which is coming up in only a few days.

After watching this video, you will know just how this Masterclass can help you regarding getting clear and healing from narcissistic abuse, which you may not have been able to achieve before taking this free class.

You can register for this Quantum Healing Event by clicking this link. 

Now, let’s get into this juicy topic for today, regarding the ten things that virtually all narcissists say.

#1 When Asked For Your Needs To Be Met

“It’s always all about you!”

When trying to negotiate with the narcissist, a lot of what you’re asking for is just common decent behaviour.

You are not asking for the narcissist to fly to the moon for you.

As examples, if you asked to be spoken to nicely, or to be allowed to know the narcissist’s plans and how they may affect you (simple human requests) the narcissist will take umbrage and tell you how unreasonable, and even selfish, this is.

This is where you can feel like you are going crazy, trying to get a child in an adult’s body to understand that a healthy relationship requires care and consideration for one another.

The narcissist simply does not get this, even about basic things, let alone the extreme bad behaviour that he or she does act out.

When you heal for real from narcissistic abuse, I promise you that you will deeply embody that it is healthy for you to speak up for what you need, and know that you deserve to have your needs heard and met by another healthy adult.

And, you will never accept less than this again.

#2 When You Are Leaving Them

“You will never find anybody like me!”

Other variations to this expression are, “You will never find anybody who loves you as much as I do” and “You know that you can’t live without me.”

It’s not until we heal that we realise how ludicrous this really is – we don’t want to ever find anybody like them again and live the torturous life that we’ve been having!

Yet, when you are still emotionally enmeshed with the narcissist, one of their greatest tactics to keep you hooked as supply is to make you feel dependent and helpless without them.

It’s about having you believe that your life going forward on your own will be one of terrible loss.

I promise you that when you go through your Thriver Healing process, you will discover that this is totally not the case! Rather, you will be thrilled that you are free, and you’ve left all of this pain, confusion, and abuse behind.

And you will become self-generative – meaning happy, confident and whole in your own skin.

#3 When Being Confronted

“Here we go again!” (Accompanied with a sarcastic eye roll).

Other variations of this one are, “You are crazy” and “You are the only person I ever have this trouble with.”

This is invalidation at its finest. This is how the narcissist can make you start to doubt your own sanity and believe that there is something wrong with you.

Invalidation of your feelings and being unwilling to meet you and talk about what concerns you is painful enough, yet narcissistic abuse takes this to another level.

Narcissists know how to not just invalidate you, but to also demean your character and sanity at the same time.

It’s little wonder that so many people feel like it must be their fault and suffer terrible assaults on their self-esteem and personal identity.

I really want you to know that my Thriver Healing process, that is the NARP Program, transforms you to a wholeness and self-validation which means you will no longer try to get understanding from somebody who refuses to give it to you.

Rather, if you have confronted somebody deficient in resources to be humble, real and to engage in healthy communication with you, and they are unable to, then you will disengage, move on and create healthy relationships with those who can.

#4 When Treating You Horribly

“But I love you!”

When this happens it feels so crazy, because it could be said when the narcissist is telling you all the things that are wrong with you.

Or whilst the narcissist is telling you that he or she is going to leave you.

It could even be said to you amongst the most horrendous insults, name-calling, and so much worse.

As many people discover, these words hold very little weight when the actions simply don’t match them. Additionally, the narcissist is capable of horrific discards and even replacing you with fresh and new supply at a moment’s notice.

Of course, someone who really loves you doesn’t behave like this!

This I can assure you, after going through your true recovery from the inside out, you will know what real love is. No longer will you be emotionally dismayed that somebody does not have the resources to love you genuinely. This is because you now have solid and real authentic love already going on within yourself.

This is an absolute truth that we discover after Thriver Recovery – you will never accept a level of love below the level that you have been able to establish in your self-partnering with yourself.

You will no longer agonise about someone’s lack of capacity to love you. It’s just not a match for who you are now.

This is when real love that is genuine and wholesome can and will come into your life.

#5 When Confronted For Adulterous Behaviour

“You have jealousy issues!”

Generally, the narcissist will start attacking you with counter-accusations if you are getting close to catching them out.

The narcissist is totally invested into proving that you are wrong, and they are above reproach.

He or she does this by trying to get you to doubt yourself and start to believe that maybe you are insecure and don’t have a right to believe or think the things that you do.

After healing yourself into being a whole and empowered individual, you will know what you do and don’t deserve in your life. You will be willing to take a stand to lose it all to get it all, meaning that unless there is proof there is no truth.

And if there is no truth then you move away, heal and start to generate healthy, trustworthy and genuine relationships instead of ones filled with deception and betrayal.

#6 When You Want Accountability

“You are damaged from your past!”

If you ask the narcissist for clarification, he or she is likely to tell you that you have trust issues as a result of the problems that you’ve experienced in your past. And of course, the narcissist purports that this has nothing to do with his or her behaviour now.

Many of us, who have been narcissistically abused, are good people who take personal responsibility. It is very usual for people like us to try to fix ourselves to try to make our relationships better.

The narcissist may capitalise on this, especially if we don’t know how to create healthy boundaries, honour ourselves and leave if these boundaries are not respected.

This I can assure you, whilst healing from narcissistic abuse with NARP (the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program), you will know that your boundaries and truth reside in the present. You will also know that the past has absolutely nothing to do with you knowing your values and your rights today.

NARP grants you the potential to never be derailed again from stating and knowing what your boundaries are with a narcissistic individual.

#7 When Using Circular Arguments

“Stop raising your voice!”

Another version of this is, “I’m not talking to you until you speak to me respectfully!”

Narcissists have all sorts of nasty tools in their arsenal to make you feel like your head is spinning in an argument with them. They refuse to stay on topic and use all sorts of defensive comments and nasty projections that are so violating, that it is usual for you to lose all emotional stability.

Then, when you get triggered and angry, the narcissist goes from bait to switch and turns it all back on you.

Those of us who have been abused by narcissists know exactly how epically maddening this is.

During Thriver Recovery, you go through a powerful evolution where you know how to stay only on the topic and refuse to go down rabbit holes with the narcissist (which is where he or she loves to take you).

Then, if the narcissist won’t comply, you detach, detox from him or her and take what is necessary to the next level. When you know how to no longer be triggered and have your facts straight and in line, it is far easier to defeat the narcissist than you might think.

#8 When Gaslighting You

“They know who you are!”

The narcissist will tell you how selfish, immoral and nasty your character is and how other people have found you out and are even talking about your defectiveness behind your back.

This is the narcissist projecting his or her disowned inner parts onto you and making out that these disordered things are coming from you.

Because you do have a good character, it is beyond devastating to be accused of things that are not what you do and also frustratingly know that they are actually how the narcissist behaves.

After healing for real from narcissistic abuse, you will no longer get hooked in by this.

Because you are now totally comfortable in knowing who you are, and are no longer attached to what other people do or don’t think about you. You know that the people who are meant to be in your life will know you for who you really are, and the ones that don’t are totally entitled to their opinion.

It’s not important what other people think about you. It’s important what you think about you.

#9 When Breaking Promises

“Just because I didn’t do what you wanted when you wanted it.”

Narcissists don’t like to comply. They have no desire to be a team player or do things for you that would make you happy (unless there is an agenda attached).

It’s much more preferable to the narcissist to use promises to manipulate you, to get what they want, and to let you down and hurt you when he or she wants to lash out and punish you.

Then the narcissist will twist it all back on you and make it your fault, telling you that your expectations are unreasonable.

During your Thriver Recovery, statements like this will no longer affect you. You will know that they are utter lunacy because real healthy people not only want to commune, care and assist those they love, they also have the emotional resources to do so.

#10 When Abusing You

“You make me behave like this!”

This is the classic narcissistic way of not taking responsibility for horrible behaviour and blaming you for it.

If you believe it, you will try to change your reactions and responses to have a better relationship with the narcissist. However, you will discover that none of this works; the narcissist will still behave terribly regardless of what you try to amend or do differently.

As a result of healing from the inside out with NARP, you will no longer be scapegoated for someone else’s disgraceful and abusive behaviour. Never again will you take responsibility for it. Rather you will leave, heal yourself back to wholeness, and enter and maintain relationships with people who would never have the capacity to behave like this.

Healing From All Of This!

It is eerily freaky how narcissists say the same things!

You may wonder how this is possible. Really, this is simply the product of a disordered Inner Self who refuses to take personal responsibility and suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

Until we know better, of course we argue with this behaviour and try to sort it out to make this person see sense and behave decently.

But to no avail!

I hope you can understand that these types of behaviours are narcissistic defence mechanisms that can’t be reasoned with.

This is why you have to find another way, a way that works.

To explain in detail what I have been touching on in this video, I have just opened up my next Free Masterclass where we go through exactly how to create your true Thriver Recovery.

I will show you how it’s done.

So, come join my next Free Masterclass by clicking this link.

Also please share this video with others who you know are suffering from the insanity of narcissistic abuse.

And as always, I look forward to answering your questions and your comments below.

 

Read More –>

Do Narcissists Ever Regret Their Behaviour?

Do Narcissists Ever Regret Their Behaviour?

 

Narcissistic behaviour is unfathomable. Yet, even after experiencing the horrible, malicious things that a narcissist is capable of, you may be wondering the following …

Will he or she ever wake up? Will the narcissist ever regret their behaviour?

Is it possible for this person to have remorse for what they’ve done to you?

In today’s TTV episode I’m going to bring you the raw, unadulterated truth about these questions, and more … In such a way that hopefully you will never need to ponder this again!

 

 

Video Transcript

These are the questions on so many people’s lips …

Do narcissists know what they are doing?

Do they ever regret their behaviour?

Do they ever atone for what they’ve done?

If you want to know the truth to these questions, then watch on because I’m going to answer these questions and more in today’s TTV episode.

Before we get started, thank you everyone, who has supported the Thriver Mission by subscribing to my channel, and I’d like to remind you, if you haven’t already, please do. And if you enjoy this video make sure to give it a thumbs up!

Now let’s get started on this very important episode by looking at a humanity-based system of regret, and then we can move on to what narcissistic regret really is.

 

Understanding Genuine Regret

Genuine human regret contains the following vital points:

• Remorse for what happened to others.
• A desire to resolve damage caused to others.
• Wanting to atone and amend future behaviour.

Does this sound to you like what a narcissist is capable of?

Of course, it doesn’t, because it isn’t even what a narcissist wishes for. He or she does not want to be vulnerable, real, genuinely apologetic or hand over anything to others that may leave them susceptible to them.

In stark contrast, people who are not narcissistic, want to connect, care and can join with others in healthy ways. They desire teamwork and trust and know these are essential commodities in order to experience healthy relationships.

 

General Narcissistic Regret

Narcissistic regret contains these antisocial elements:

• Zero compassion, concern or care for others.
• Feelings of loss as a self-absorbed failure of their personal agenda.
• Comebacks that are equal to, or greater than, the previous pathological lies and manipulations.

Can you see the difference?

The narcissist may be feeling incredibly regretful about what didn’t work, or what was exposed. But this is purely about the narcissist, no one else.

A prime example is when a narcissist is dumped by someone else. He or she may feel the terrible regret of losing narcissistic supply. However, the object of supply is simply an object. This person was being used as a tool to regulate the narcissist’s emotions, without the exchange having anything to do with the other person’s feelings, rights or identity.

The narcissist may feel such ‘terrible (narcissistic) regret’ that he or she may feign responsibility or remorse, which may even come complete with crocodile tears.

Likewise, the narcissist may regret discarding you, if you don’t crawl back to him or her. But it doesn’t mean they feel sorry for the horrible things they did to you. They regret losing their narcissistic supply, sex, money, free living place and other privileges.

Yet, despite the act of trying to win you back, this person is likely to be scouting for new supply on the side simultaneously. As soon as a new source of supply (object) has been secured, then there is zero regret in the losing of the old source.

Of course, it comes complete with total malicious discard, much like one would eliminate an old pair of boots that one no longer wishes to wear.

 

Extended Narcissistic Regret

This next bit may really shock you.

I hope it does because it will allow you to stop trying to believe that a narcissist can adopt the genuine regret and remorse that normal people have, or that somehow you are going to be able to help them reach this level of humanity and emotional maturity.

The reality of narcissistic regret, in regard to their behaviours, is more sinister than you may have ever believed.

Not only do narcissists have a stunted ability to have genuine regret for what they have done to other people, they have actual regret regarding NOT being able to be more of a law onto themselves, and inflict even worse, conscienceless acts.

Examples of this are:

• Married or committed narcissists having to fit in with socially acceptable monogamy, and not being able to have sex with just anybody they want.
• Failing to exact revenge on people who they deemed to have betrayed them (not appeased their False Self enough) to the level that they really wanted to.
• Not being able to smear and defame another successfully enough to not be exposed by that person.
• Having to expend so much energy manipulating and charming their way to the goodies that they believe they should just be entitled to.
• Not having achieved more, or constantly having to construct elaborate lies, to make sure other people don’t steal the limelight from them.

I could write about another ten examples, but I hope that you get the point.

The narcissist does not fit into the normal humane construct that those with a soul and conscience do. Narcissism is a rogue system that is positioned on the constant requirement of filling an insatiable black hole within.

The narcissist’s fragile and highly disordered inner identity does not know how to operate in any other way.

The Short Answer to The Original Questions

Let’s go over this again …

Do narcissists know what they are doing?

Yes, they are doing whatever they are doing in order to secure narcissistic supply. There is no regret or remorse for doing that.

However, it’s important to understand that they have very little if any comprehension of how this affects other people. The truth is, to the narcissist, that’s irrelevant. They don’t care. People are only objects anyway.

Do they ever regret their behaviour?

Yes, a narcissist can regret their behaviour, but only ever in the context of it being only about the narcissist and their agenda.

Do they ever atone for what they’ve done?

A narcissist will not genuinely atone for what they’ve done.

They can feign genuine remorse and even apologise (fleetingly) but this is simply to reinstate the personal agenda, which sadly has nothing to do with care, compassion or love for others.

Once the cracks appear in relationships and dealings with others, it is usual that the narcissist will start looking for fresh supply on the side, and once secured, the old supply will be discarded as if it didn’t ever exist. Which, then is followed by the destruction of devaluation and smearing.

Of course, this happens until there comes a time when the new supply can be punished with the old supply, in which case triangulation can take place.

I hope that this episode has helped clear things up for you and made you realise that wanting a narcissist to be regretful, remorseful and atone in ways that have anything to do with you, is as fruitless as trying to play fetch with a crocodile.

The narcissist simply does not have the inner resources, or brain wiring, to comply.

What is vitally important for you is to let go of needing the narcissist to atone for you to heal. By focusing on him or her and not working on healing your woundedness of what went down, you are enslaving yourself to your own trauma prison indefinitely.

I can show you another way, a much better way to start healing and breaking free from this prison and narcissistic person, today.

To access this please click this link.

And, if you would like to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released.

Please also share this episode with those who you know are hung up on wanting the narcissist to be remorseful, which of course is a really common thing, until we work on our Thriver healing.

Also, if this resonated with you, hit the like button.

As always, I look forward to answering your comments and your questions below.

 

Read More –>

When Narcissists Are Hurting The People You Love … How Do You Help Them?

When Narcissists Are Hurting The People You Love … How Do You Help Them?

It is can be disturbing and devastating to watch a loved one struggling with a narcissist.
 
You may have a child whose partner is a narcissist and you feel isolated and powerless to help them.
 
Or you may have a parent, sibling or friend who is experiencing narcissistic abuse and you don’t know what to do.
 
There is a way to help them, other than lecturing and trying to get them to wake up. In this episode, I’m going to explain to you exactly how to do this.

 

 

Video Transcript

So many of you have often asked me, how can I help my child who is now isolated and controlled by the narcissistic spouse?

Or maybe your sister, brother or dear friend is hopelessly enmeshed with a narcissist abusing them at work, in a love relationship or even in a friendship.

You may be beyond concerned that the person you care about isn’t waking up to this and seems to be slipping further and further away from you.

Maybe you have grandchildren that you don’t see anymore because of a narcissistic in-law.

How can you help the person you love who is deeply in the clutches of narcissistic abuse?

In today’s TTV episode I explain to you the only way I know that works and does work to help your loved ones recover from this.

But before we get started on this episode, I’d like to thank each and every one of you who have subscribed to my channel and supported the Thriver Mission. If you haven’t yet done so please do, and also give this episode a thumbs up if it resonates with you.

Okay, so now on to this very important information.

 

The Deeper and Necessary Understanding of Quantum Law

There is nothing more heartbreaking than seeing the people whom we love suffer. There is nothing more frustrating and unjust than seeing them ripped away from us by a pathological narcissist.

What is doubly frustrating is the more we try to talk sense to the person we love, the more they can pull away from us and even side with the narcissist.

You may be agonising over why this is happening, but what I always like to do is to just get down to the pure truth of things – which is this:

Whichever way we are powerfully emotionally vibrating about anything (including somebody we care about), is exactly the experience that we will have in our personal experience.

Let me put it to you simply. If you feel that someone in your life is being emotionally smashed, abused and isolated from you, then that is the experience you will continue to Quantumly generate in your life.

This is especially true if you see this person as broken and powerless.

Now, before you think that I am blaming you for the experience that they are having, please hear me out. I am not blaming you in any shape or form, I am just explaining how energetic law and true manifesting takes place.

It is a human and beautiful part of our nature to deeply care for, be concerned about and have compassion for those whom we love. Yet, when you understand Quantum Law, you will realise that this is not necessarily helping those you love get better and get away from toxic circumstances.

Rather, it contributes to them being deeply stuck.

To truly help those you love requires a deeper understanding of Quantum Law, which I am beyond inspired to share with you.  In order to be able to help, you need to know the actual steps to Quantumly – which means for real – help the person who is not, at this point, helping themselves.

So, let’s dive in and get started.

 

Step Number One: Acceptance

The greatest barrier to us trying to change our life experience, including the experience of others we care about, is resistance to what is happening in the present moment.

Of course, from the human perspective, we judge what is happening to them as ‘wrong’. Yet, by doing so, we are not understanding the grand design deeper truth of their soul’s evolution and journey.

I personally believe 100% that there is a reason for ‘all of it’, meaning that anyone’s personal evolution is about calling forth and participating in the experiences that are going to make their unconscious programs conscious, and lead them inwards to healing and resolving what is necessary in order to generate a different life experience.

That is exactly what happened to us regarding our own narcissistic abuse which then led us to entering and activating our Thriver Recovery.

When you can take the evolutionary high road of understanding that what your loved one is going through is a necessary transaction for their own personal awakening and evolution, then your deepest wish is not so much for that experience to be removed or brought to an end, but for their soul to awaken and become empowered, self-loving and self-defining within the experience.

And, when you truly love another, then you will bless the experience and not make it so personally about yourself.

How often have we wanted to try to force somebody to change in order for us to feel better?

Usually, if we are honest with ourselves, this is the case. It is understandable and even intensely loving towards others, yet it defies getting a positive result from Quantum Law, as much as trying to defy a natural law such as gravity would be.

It is impossible to generate a change in your life experience by trying to change something outside of you, including somebody you love, in order for you to feel better.

What is much more likely to happen as per Quantum Law – so within, so without – is that this person you are trying to rescue from their situation will supply you more evidence of the inner emotional experience that you are already having. Namely, them not being well.

There is only one way to change your experience of anything or anyone, and that is to find the way to feel better about ‘what is’ so as to create the base foundation to go emotionally inward to then create a different experience that will spill out and have an influence on the outer experience.

This starts with acceptance.

A powerful mantra that you can say often in regard to this person who is being abused by a narcissist is, ‘I bless and accept your experience as sacred. No matter what it looks like, I know that it is offering you the highest possible evolutionary path that your soul yearns for.’

 

Step Number Two: Shifting Your Emotional Response

You have to know that trying to go in and change things, whilst you feel devastated for this person, is not going to work.

If anything, you run the risk of pushing them further away from you and more into the arms of the abuser.

There is a better way to deal with this, and the great thing is that it is activated by working on the only person that you do have the power to change – yourself. And, you can be totally available for this mission.

This is how it works …

By fully understanding and accepting that the way that you create change for yourself and others you care about, is by changing yourself. This doesn’t mean changing the way that you interact with them, even though this is a natural by-product of this … rather it means completely changing your inner emotional composition about this person and what they are going through.

Let me explain to you what I mean with this example.

A NARP member called Gail was devastated that her daughter who was married to a narcissist, was becoming more and more isolated from her and the rest of the family.

To add insult to injury, Gail’s daughter had three children under the age of ten whom Gail adored. Her ability to visit her grandchildren was getting reduced, as she continually received opposition and excuses. Gail knew that her daughter was being twisted and turned against her and her husband by her daughter’s husband.

Gail wrote into me asking me what she could do. I related to her the only solution I have ever known to work. I invited Gail to join NARP and start using the healings to target the traumas in her body regarding what her daughter was going through and how it was impacting Gail.

Gail put in the hard work with NARP and kept moving these terrible traumas in her body and shifting them out, until peace replaced the previous fear and anxiety.

Gail reached the place which we all do, on any topic in our life, when we work with the Quanta Freedom Healing processes of NARP; where the trauma was released, truth entered.

Gail realised that her daughter was going through a soul growth lesson with this man, and she also realised that everybody involved including the children, herself and the family were also going through their own personal evolution as a result of this.

Gail knew that her true power to assist in this solution was to accept that everything was in perfect and divine order, and then to powerfully contribute by shifting herself to ‘feel’ and ‘know’ that her daughter had an infinitely wise Inner Being who could also wake up to the truth.

The more Gail did this work, the more she was able to let go and allow, and keep working on herself to hold her daughter in this emotional vibration.

What happened next is what happens next in virtually every circumstance – Gail’s daughter approached her only a few weeks later. She asked her mother for help to take herself and the children in because she was divorcing her husband.

The spell had been broken.

Gail’s daughter also started working with NARP so as to detox the narcissistic husband out of her system, parent and create healthy powerful boundaries.  By doing this, he lost the advantage of her previous fear to abuse her with. She also set up powerful parallel parenting plans.

I know 100%, because I’ve seen it happen so many times in other people’s lives as well as in my life with my own son Zac, that if Gail had stayed in the same emotional devastation that she was previously in, none of this would have happened.

If you want your life to change regarding the people you love, then you need to become the change that you seek, from the inside out.

 

Step Number Three: Replace Blame and Resentment With Love

One of the most vital transitions you need to go through to help the people whom you love is to stop blaming and shaming them. It’s very common and of course understandable, to be angry and upset with this person you love for turning their back on you or siding with the narcissist against you.

Many people get confused regarding boundaries versus resentment. To help somebody awaken and re-enter your life, and their own life healthily, you must engage the power of love. Which means seeing and holding them in love without any personal hurt of your own being involved.

You may have to work really hard at this with NARP in order to shift out all vestiges of blame, resentment and hurt.

Remember, love heals, resentment hinders.

This does not mean drop your boundaries. If the person whom you love is infiltrating and damaging your boundaries, then enforce them, lovingly and directly and honestly.

That is what real love does. You are not loving another honestly by forfeiting your boundaries and hurting yourself to try to make them happy or love you. That’s a false love economy.

Let me share with you the following example.

Don is another NARP member who was doing the inner work regarding his son being in business with a very toxic narcissist determined to keep him away from Don and the family.

Yet, his son would come to Don to borrow money because of his business losses. The interactions went like this, every few months or so Don’s son made contact, but it was only about money. At all other times, he refused to be in contact with the family.

Before working with NARP, Don used to grant money to his son to try to stay in contact, yet after working with NARP and losing his trauma about what was happening with his son, Don started saying ‘No’.

Predictably all contact stopped and was unanswered when Don and his wife would reach out.

However, Don kept working with NARP as instructed to release all his guilt and obligation and trauma and just kept bringing in the highest possibility of resolution, which was his son awakening into his own infinite inner wisdom, thus evolving beyond the abuse.

It’s what happened – Don’s son left his business partner, returned to the family fold and started taking legal action against the narcissist.

 

Having to Work With This Differently

Until you understand Quantum Law, you may think that what I am talking about is some new-age fluffy theory.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Our own awakening is to realise how intrinsically and powerfully our own emotional energy is connected to the entire field; especially to those we are bonded to through love.

I know that so many of you in the community are reporting to me that you are really ‘getting it’. There is such a big difference between receiving information and fully embodying it as truth. The latter is what grants you power.

If you are really getting this, I want you to pause this video and write below ‘the cells of my body really get this!’

Until now you may not have realised that through your care and concern you have actually been adding to the situation rather than resolving it. This is why you need to learn to go about this in a different way, and I know that you will be stunned and shocked (beautifully) when you start working at this from the inside out.

In the only way that can truly work – Quantumly.

I can’t recommend enough becoming a NARP member to help those who you love. The wonderful by-product is that, not only will you discover how much you can genuinely assist them, you will also discover your own unlimited expansion, resolutions and breakthroughs that previously only seemed to be a life dream.

To become a NARP member click this link.

And, if you enjoyed this video, and would like to be notified each time a new episode is released, then make sure that you subscribe to receive all of my updates.

Also, please share this episode with those you know who are agonising over what is happening to the people they love.

As always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

Read More –>

Top 6 Traits Narcissists Look For In Their Victims

Top 6 Traits Narcissists Look For In Their Victims

 

Narcissists know how to target people.

They know what to look out for.

Many people think that narcissists can con anybody and start to destroy their lives. This isn’t true. There are many people who the narcissist will quickly ascertain are not on their snack list.

In today’s TTV episode I share with you the top six traits that narcissists look for in their victims.

 

 

Video Transcript

Narcissists hunt.

They know what they are searching for in regard to their victims. They are looking for lovely people with certain characteristics, which really means people who are not necessarily nice to themselves.

Narcissists need narcissistic supply very quickly. They can’t provide their own internal energy source and need to strike rapidly. This is why narcissists are incredibly skilled at knowing who to strike and how.

By you knowing the six traits that narcissists look out for in the people that they hone in on, it means you can shore up these susceptibilities within yourself so that you will no longer be on a narcissist’s menu.

Okay, so just before we investigate these six top traits, I’d like to thank all of you for supporting the Thriver Mission by subscribing to my channel. If you haven’t yet done so please do. Also, if you like this video please make sure that you give it a thumbs up and share it with your communities.

Okay so let’s get started on this very important information.

Trait Number One: Unhealed Traumas

The number one universal tactic for a narcissist to enmesh with another, such as a love or business partner, friend, neighbour or even in regard to a family of origin narcissist trying to retain another family member for supply – is this:

Find the ‘need’ and propose to be the grand supplier of it.

Narcissists question potential intimate partner targets to find out what is still hurting them or missing in regard to their previous love life.

If you say that you were treated like you didn’t matter, the narcissist will supply the information to make you believe that to him or her you will completely matter. If your previous traumas have been about adultery, the narcissist will profess to be 100% monogamous.

The list goes on and on.

In a business context, the narcissist will purportedly have the smarts, experience, confidence and contacts that you don’t have.

When a family member is ready to pull away and walk away, the narcissist may pretend to be the caring, considerate person that the other family member has craved all their life.

If you feel empty, disappointed, powerless or ineffectual in some area of your life, you are susceptible to being duped and abused by a narcissist pretending to be the saviour of this trauma.

Of course, we all have things that we desire, yet if we are not taking personal responsibility to heal those feelings within ourselves, we will be needy. We will grab an outside solution rather than doing the inner work to become an emotional healing solution to ourselves.

This means we can make risky choices, rather than take our time to ascertain the character of people and ensure that our boundaries, values, body, heart, mind and property have been granted the healthy due diligence to keep them safe.

When we are whole, we don’t rush things. When we are empty and needy we become reckless to try to get relief from our inner emptiness and anxieties about the future.

This is where narcissists come in.

Trait Number Two: Not Honouring Your Inner Being

Narcissists know how to test people’s boundaries. When a narcissist targets you as a potential source, they are trying to find out whether or not you honour yourself, your values and your truth.

Because if you are in your power, as soon as the narcissist starts violating your boundaries and mining you with their own self-serving agendas, you will put an end to the relationship.

A person aligned with living their values and truths will not be a match for such behaviours.

Narcissists can easily test your boundaries, especially if he or she has been able to hook up quickly with you, and infiltrate your time, emotions and life. At this point, you may already be feeling an emotional dependency on this person as the provider of the love, approval, security or survival that you haven’t yet resolved within yourself.

This now means that you don’t want to lose this person.

You may even believe that this is THE person who will be your salvation and bring you wholeness.

Now the narcissist is going to start saying or doing things to test your boundaries to see how far he or she can go. The actions start not matching the words. He or she will start acting entitled, selfish and inconsiderate.

He or she may make a disparaging, nasty comment about you or someone or something that is important to you.

Where there was previously support, the exact opposite starts becoming evident.

You may even start experiencing obscene violations of your values and rights that start tearing your soul apart. At some point in your relationship with the narcissist, these horrific experiences are inevitable.

If you start acquiescing to try to keep the peace, or even fight back because this has hurt you, rather than create ultimate boundaries, pull away and know what you will or won’t have in your life – the narcissist will now know that he or she can violate you, mine you and get what he or she wants.

Identically, upon meeting a narcissist, he or she has ways of testing your boundaries and seeing if you are going to do your due diligence and take your time to assess his or her personal character or not.

If you start automatically trusting and gravitating towards a narcissist, despite the warning signs that your Inner Being is absolutely supplying you with (this happened to all of us), then the narcissist has a green light to proceed.

From this point things can only get worse.

Trait Number Three: Not Having Your Own Whole Life

One part of being that injured gazelle at the edge of the pack, able to be picked off by a predator, is not having a whole, happy and productive life.

You see, this is how it goes – narcissists need to create dependencies.

If you feel lonely, empty and have simply been going through the motions waiting for something to change outside of yourself, or for somebody to turn up in order to start granting you a happy productive life, you are at risk. That someone who you want to be the saviour of this emptiness is someone who you will struggle greatly to let go of – no matter how badly he or she treats you.

If, when you start connecting with somebody at a healthy pace, you don’t retain your own life, happiness, and purpose then this person becomes your ‘everything’.

This is dire; it is unhealthy co-dependent attachment. It means that this person’s choices, values and life will become your own, no matter how abusive and disordered they may be.

It also means that this person can monopolise your emotions, time and life very quickly.

In stark contrast, retaining yourself, your life and your values is one of the greatest safeguards in regard to not being taken in and down by a narcissist. He or she will not tolerate it and will need to leave your experience.

Trait Number Four: Not Being Willing to Lose It All to Get It All

If you are not prepared to love yourself first and foremost, then you are susceptible to being abused by somebody who you are trying to get your own sense of worth and love from.

A healthy life in regard to interpersonal relationships must start with self-love. Meaning, if someone starts treating you in unhealthy and abusive ways that you love yourself enough to pull away and align with the self-love, ‘I love myself enough to know longer endure abuse’.

Generally, narcissists do something inappropriate, uncaring or even abusive early in the relationship. Or you may discover information or questionable activities about this person that just don’t add up, or point-blank expose him or her to be not a nice person.

If you make excuses to stay attached, and if you are not prepared to pull away and create safety around the sanctity of your soul and life-force by declaring the truth of your values and what you will and won’t accept in your life, the narcissist knows that he or she can be a monster and you won’t leave.

The narcissist knows you will stay attached trying to change them in order to try to have a happy life. This provides the narcissist with copious amounts of narcissistic supply – the drama and attention he or she gets from knowing how severely you are affected by them. He or she also now has you as a target to beat up and to offload their inner demons onto.

If you are a person who is willing to lose it all to get it all, meaning lose another person rather than lose yourself, you will never be susceptible to a narcissist. You will leave as soon as things start to feel and become ‘off’. You will set the limits as to what you will and won’t accept, and you will very quickly see that the narcissist does not have the resources to genuinely meet you healthily.

If you are presently healing to get into this newfound True Self Power, you will finally get out of the clutches of narcissistic abuse and start to carve out the life that is reflective of your True Self.

Naturally, to be solid enough on the inside to do this requires doing the inner work on your original traumas in order to become whole. Otherwise, you may capitulate and keep handing your power away.

Trait Number Five: Trying to Change Other People to Stop Them From Hurting You

Narcissists seek out people who are co-dependent. These are people who make other people’s business their business in order to try to feel loved, safe and happy.

Narcissists make a mess.

They are often edgy, irresponsible, live high on the hog, and show little respect for rules, finances and responsibility – after all it is about feeding their insatiable False Self in order to feel significant, regardless of the cost.

If you are someone who is covertly controlling, meaning taking responsibility for other people who don’t take responsibility for themselves, in order for you to feel safe on the inside, then you are a perfect match for a narcissist.

He or she wants somebody to mop up the messes. He or she wants someone to keep the fires burning while the narcissist pursues new supply outside of the home. He or she wants somebody to hang around and stay focused on the narcissist regardless of how badly the narcissist behaves.

We may believe that it is caring to look after irresponsible and out-of-control people, but really this is an attempt to try to get people to be stable and safe so that they can love us and look after us healthily.

As children, we may have been connected to unsafe others, trying to fix things for them so that they would be safe. The truth is we had no other option. As adults we do, and we can never fix other people’s behaviour to get our own source of love, approval, security and survival.

We only ever achieve these things by letting go of people who we believe need fixing, and turning inwards and fixing the real reasons why we have had the tendency to do this and stay connected to abuse in painful relationships.

Trait Number Six: You Are Not Self-Partnered and Loving Yourself

When the narcissist starts behaving in inappropriate and abusive ways, and you stay attached to him or her instead of pulling away to look after yourself, the narcissist knows that he or she has become the centre of your universe.

Now the narcissist can keep hurting you, mining and taking from you, and know that you have been secured as a source of supply while this takes place.

When you stay, which means tolerating things that you never believed you would tolerate, the narcissist has full permission to relax and drop the mask even further.

He or she may realise that even if caught out with adultery you won’t leave.

This is soul destroying for you, when you realise that your bottom line is almost completely extinguished, or even non-existent now.

This is the reason why being self-partnered is the number one step to take, to start pulling away, healing, bringing yourself back to wholeness and wellness and being impervious to abusers in the future.

It is the absolute foundation of healing in the Thriver Way in order to create a full recovery of not just your abuse symptoms, but also your abuse patterns.

If you are not self-partnered, meaning you are committed to loving yourself enough to heal and create yourself as a whole and healthy individual who is no longer susceptible to abuse, then your life will be dictated by other people’s values and choices rather than your own.

Narcissists know how to look out for this to ascertain where people are in regard to being anchored in their own being as self-love to themselves or not. People who have been assigning other people as their source of love, approval, security and survival are clearly not self-partnered.

If this is the case, narcissists know that they can easily slot into that position, enmesh with people, and start taking over their soul and life.

How to Recover From These Six Traits

I hope that going over these top six traits that narcissists look out for in their victims has helped you understand just how you may have been susceptible to narcissistic abuse.

Most people are extremely aware of the symptoms that they are suffering, and that they have been abused, but do not realise the real rectifications that are necessary to graduate out of the pain and trauma to evolve yourself beyond handing your power away to abusers again.

If you need further clarification and understanding on exactly how this has played out in your life then I invite you to join me in my free webinar where you will start to understand exactly how you can heal from not just your abuse symptoms, but also the abuser’s ability to hurt you, and, going forward, the fears of getting involved with any narcissistic people in the future.

To gain this vital understanding and training please click this link.

And, if you liked this video please give it a thumbs up and share with the communities and people who you know can heal as a result of this information.

Also, please remember to subscribe so you will be notified as soon as each new video is released.

So, I hope that this video was insightful for you and I look forward to your comments and questions below.

 

Read More –>

Gaslighting: How To Demystify And Protect Yourself From The Narcissist’s Smoke-Screen

Gaslighting: How To Demystify And Protect Yourself From The Narcissist’s Smoke-Screen

 

Gaslighting is a term that most abuse communities are very familiar with.

But what does it mean?

How does it affect people?

Why is gaslighting so hard to identify, and so mentally and emotionally damaging?

How can you get clear that you are being gaslit, remove and protect yourself and recover from its insidious effects?

The answers to these questions are very important because if you are being abused, there is every chance that you are being gaslit.

 

The Origins of the Word Gaslighting

If you are not sure what the expression ‘gaslighting’ means, Wikipedia describes it like this – a  form of manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or members of a group, hoping to make targets question their own memory, perception, and sanity.

The term owes its origin to a 1938 play called Gas Light and its 1944 film adaptation.

Gaslighting is commonly used by toxic and abusive individuals to diminish others, which often means close intimates or other people who they wish to gain control over, as well as punish.

Let’s examine how this gaslighting plays out.

 

The Main Tactic of Gaslighting – Confusion

If you are feeling confusion regarding what is real and what isn’t real, there is a good chance that you are being gaslit.

An example of this would be that you have a conversation with someone and you know what was actually said. Then this person, as narcissists often do when confronted, flatly denies ever saying it at all, and will tell you that you completely misheard what was said.

You know you didn’t, yet, you start to doubt yourself. You believe there is a possibility you misheard things. Worse still, you might begin to think that you are losing your mind. After all, this person is apparently so convinced that you are wrong.

Confusions of this type are an incredibly common occurrence with an abuser, and this is only the beginning of how far it can go and how devastating gaslighting can be.

The following is a classic example of how gaslighting can take place. Tracy, one of my clients, experienced a situation of confusion and horrific punishment through the use of gaslighting.

This lady’s mother had very recently died, and friends and family gathered at her home in deep commiseration together. Her narcissistic husband was incensed because the attention wasn’t on him.

Tracy had too much to drink in her state of deep grief, and when she woke up the next morning her husband was gone. He went missing for three days with his phone turned off.

When he returned, he told Tracy that she was seen in the kitchen kissing her own male cousin. He said that he wasn’t the only one who caught her out, and there were other family members who were also disgusted by her actions.

Tracy was mortified. She was drunk that night, she couldn’t remember. She was horrified thinking she may have done it, even though she had never felt any attraction or romantic inclination towards her cousin.

In our Quanta Freedom Healing session together, we shifted out not only the grief of losing Tracy’s mother but also the terrible trauma of her husband’s accusation.

Because the terrible feelings had shifted out of her Inner Being, Tracy got very clear about showing up in integrity and confronting these allegations. She contacted people who were present at the house that evening. When Tracy told people what her husband had said, they were shocked. They told her that she had done nothing of the kind, and that her husband’s mood and behaviour towards her that night had been totally unsupportive and horrible.

This is the thing when we’re not in our power, we recoil in shame and don’t check out the facts. Tracy’s husband had not expected her to do that. When she confronted him about his abusive behaviour he quickly changed to the next gaslighting tactic, ‘Of course people aren’t going to admit what they saw, it’s too disgusting’, and ‘Not only should I leave you for what you did but why would I stay with a wife who believes other people’s lies instead of her own husband?’

Of course, this threw Tracy into an even worse spin. That’s exactly what gaslighting is all about.

Gaslighting truly is an incredibly malicious tactic. It’s used to punish people by stripping their power and getting them to distrust themselves. It’s also about destroying a person’s own character to themselves and anyone else who will listen.

And sadly, many outside people do listen. Most decent people have been conditioned to believe that when another adult looks them in the eyes and says something horrible about another person, that it must be true.

In this case, Tracy’s narcissistic husband told joint friends and work colleagues his twisted version of what she did that night. Most of these people believed him, including him purporting she had cheated on him numerous times previously.

So, what was his motivation for doing this?

Hurting Tracy – pure and simple. Taking out his rage on her because that evening he couldn’t regulate narcissistic supply and be the centre of attention.

It is important to understand that narcissists will use the tactic of gaslighting to fulfil any agenda necessary for him or her to feed the False Self, or punish someone who hasn’t adequately done so.

 

When to Suspect You Are Being Gaslit

Being gaslit is probable if you are facing mind-bending confusion with one specific person in your life.

In other words, if you don’t suffer confusing accusations, information and conversations with other people, this is generally a very strong indication that you are being abused by the person that it is happening with.

If there is no real evidence regarding the information you are being told and if you believe that it was a different version of the events being presented, and especially if the confusing times happen on a regular basis, there is a good possibility that you are being gaslit.

If this person is often unkind, unsupportive, envious, pathologically jealous or prone to try to sabotage your interests and happiness, and takes umbrage when life is not all about him or her, make no mistake – the confusing times are gaslighting episodes.

Gaslighting is cruel – it’s conscienceless – it’s malicious. And it defies what we would like to believe humans are capable of doing.  Truly, only a pathologically disordered person is capable of doing it.

 

The Parts of You Susceptible to Being Gaslit

Your emancipation from being gaslit is to realise first of all that anybody who is hurting you is not healthy for you – regardless of what they are saying or doing.

When situations are confusing, you may not be able to make logical sense of what is going on. This is normal. However, when you go inside and start addressing what is being triggered within your Inner Identity with my Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP), you will get to the core of the problem.

These are the unhealed parts of yourself which are susceptible to being lied to, manipulated, twisted and confused.

If you have been susceptible to being scapegoated and blamed when you were little or told that whatever you did was never good enough, or parented with guilt tactics, or told how bad and worthless you were, then all of these original traumas can make you highly susceptible to being gaslit.

If you have struggled to trust yourself and believed that other people have more power, jurisdiction or better skills at organising your life than you do, then you are also highly susceptible to being lied to and manipulated through gaslighting.

Gaslighting is one of the narcissistic tactics that prey on our already existing gaps – the parts of ourselves that haven’t been healed and shored up yet – meaning we hand over our rights and value to another person’s opinion of us.

We can easily fall for this, especially if we have a terror of persecution and being criticised rejected, abandoned or punished by those who don’t believe we are a good person.

If you believe that your love, approval, security and survival depends on a key person’s thoughts and feelings about you, then the more they maliciously gaslight you, the more you will cling to them trying to fix their version of you, and to get safety and clarity from them.

Yet, you can’t create sanity out of insanity. Trying to is a dangerous recipe to potentially go fully insane.

You may even capitulate, apologise and hand your values, rights and boundaries away to retain this person in your life, trying to make them love you. Not only does this not work, it will leave you drastically devastated and diminished, and you will become more and more unwell.

 

How Do You Heal and Become Impervious to Being Gaslit?

I promise you that when you heal your susceptibilities to abuse, you will never be gaslit again.

In the case of Tracy, when her husband started smashing her with continued gaslighting tactics – threatening to abandon her due to her purported adulterous behaviour and betrayal of him – understandably she was hit with further doubt and panic.

Yet, rather than caving in to him, and handing her power over even further, Tracy went inside herself with Quanta Freedom Healing (NARP) and targeted these intense traumas that were activated within her Inner Being.

The belief systems and original traumas that were at the core of Tracy’s susceptibility to believing him, were how she was scapegoated as a child. These were the unhealed traumas of how she was blamed for her father’s dysfunctional and abusive behaviour. As a child she had taken the blame and the shame on for her father.

Thank goodness that with NARP processes, Tracy was able to load up her original childhood traumas, and release and replace them.

It was then that she anchored into her power and truth.

No more was she a broken little scapegoated girl in an adult woman’s body. Rather, Tracy had clarity and knew that her narcissistic husband was abusing her, was unsupportive and pathological, and that this behaviour was no longer a match for what she wanted or deserved in her life.

This was the beginning of the end of the relationship.

She took action to get a solicitor, moved out and her husband was blindsided regarding her newfound power. She was no longer scared of him, tiptoeing around him or handing him her power.

He then switched to love bombing, apologising and trying to win her back. This predictably triggered her feelings of guilt and obligation and wanting to try to fix things. (Which were other unhealed traumas that had taken place between Tracy and her father during her childhood).

The triggered painful feelings meant that there was just more stuff to heal!

Fortunately, when Tracy was close to capitulating, rather than reconnecting with him, she went inside again with the NARP healings and shifted out the parts of her that were triggered. These were the parts of her that had previously given abusive people repeat chances, time and time again. But finally, Tracy felt impervious and unmoved by her husband’s crocodile tears and false promises.

Now, who he was and what he stood for no longer appealed to her in any shape or form.

Because of being unmoved by him, within six months she received her settlement and he was fully out of her life.

The truth was that Tracy’s emotional attachment and trauma symptoms were healed and finished many months before this.

Such is the case for all of us, when we finally heal the original traumas that the narcissist is presenting as the current evidence in our life. This is because we have awakened, healed and reset our Inner Identity and relationship code to one that no longer matches the abuse that the narcissist in our life delivers.

I promise you the same will be true for you.

Tracy, just like so many of us (myself included) who were gaslit, became a confident, solid human, anchored into her own Inner Being with self-value.

When you have released the trauma that has made you susceptible to being gaslit and shift into your True Self on this topic, you will finally be free of this hideous and malicious form of manipulation.

Okay, so … I dearly hope that this article has helped grant you clarity and power. I also hope that it has given you a roadmap to get up and out of the pain and susceptibility to being abused by someone else’s malicious tactics – otherwise known as gaslighting.

If you know it’s time for you to get serious about healing your original traumas so that you can escape abuse and enter a true, healthy life where you are treated with respect, then it may be time for you to take the next step and start my NARP program.

This holiday time could be the perfect opportunity for you to get serious about healing your Inner Identity and getting relief, clarity and your power back very quickly.

You can get this process started today right here.

And as always, I am so looking forward to our discussion on this topic below.

 

Read More –>

Understanding The 4 Levels Of Trauma Inflicted By Narcissists

Understanding The 4 Levels Of Trauma Inflicted By Narcissists

 

Narcissistic abuse creates terrible levels of trauma that is so impactful that it affects every area of your life.

There are four levels of trauma that narcissists inflict and these are virtually consistent for everyone who has been abused by someone of this calibre.

In this video I share with you what it is like to lose our grip on reality, be horrifically betrayed, lose the ability to trust, and suffer terrible financial and health devastation.

Which, I know, is very likely to have been your experience! And I care about that deeply, because I know your life doesn’t need to remain devastated.

This is why, I also explain to you exactly how you can resurrect yourself from these four levels of trauma into a life that is not just recovered, but truly Thriving.

 

 

 

Video Transcript

Interpersonal relationship problems can be very traumatic.

Interpersonal relationships with narcissists take trauma to extreme levels.

The trauma sustained from narcissistic relationships is so impactful that it literally floods our Inner Being with survival programs that activate terror, horror, helplessness and powerlessness.

When we are crippled with these emotional states, it is virtually impossible to function, let alone access either the solutions or the ability to rebuild our life.

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I want to explore the four levels of trauma inflicted on us by narcissists, what it does to us, and the way to heal from this and resurrect our life.

Because I promise you in all these four levels of trauma inflicted by narcissists, are four resurrections that will elevate and evolve your life in ways that will literally hand to you your True Self and True Life.

But before we start this deep dive, I would like to thank you for subscribing to my channel and for supporting the Thriver mission. If you haven’t yet subscribed, I would love to invite you to please do, as well as like this video and share it with others who could benefit.

Alright, let’s get started …

 

Level Number One: Reality Is Skewered

The first level of trauma inflicted by narcissists is that you start to lose grip on the truth. You don’t know what is real and or what isn’t anymore. You want to believe in the good in people, and you want to believe that what they are telling you is the truth. This person is looking you straight in the eye, possibly even telling you what you want to hear and what you want to believe in, yet the real-life evidence that keeps emerging is the opposite.

You want to believe this person, and if deeply enmeshed with a narcissist, your literal security and future, let alone emotional stability, probably depends on it.

When we are trauma bonded to somebody, meaning staying attached even when our security, health, emotions and emotional state are suffering, it means that you are now actively engaged in cognitive dissonance. And it means you are having to come up with excuses and justifications in order to rationalise the emotional trauma that you are experiencing, and why you are staying.

This means, whilst ignoring your intuition, which is trying to warn you that things are unwholesome, unsavoury and unsafe, you may be telling yourself things like, ‘I’m sure it will all work out in time’, ‘Surely he or she isn’t manipulating me’, ‘No matter what happens I’m positive I can deal with it’, or all the other elaborate lies that we tell ourselves. I know myself, as well as so many others who ignored the painful inner screams of their intuition, did so at a very hefty price, especially where narcissists are concerned.

Resurrection Number One: Becoming Self-Partnered Brings Truth and Power

The Thriver message, recovery and healing path in all of this, is to come home to yourself and be self-partnered to the level where you are healing your Inner Being, aligning with your intuition and starting to live in truth, backing your own values and healthy needs, regardless of what other people are doing. Many of us, never really knew what that was, until requiring Thriver recovery from narcissists.

By turning inwards to meet and start releasing your wounds with complete self-love and self-devotion, powerfully creates you being self-partnered.

To have the experience of discovering what being self-partnered really means, I’d love you to join me in my free webinar.

If you haven’t yet done it, I can’t suggest it enough because you’ll start feeling what self-partnered is. You’ll see the link to that with this video.

Level Number Two: Feelings of Betrayal Are Triggered

After being lied to by narcissists, and horrifically abused by them, we feel deeply betrayed. This is an incredible trauma activated within us, that can even destroy our faith in interpersonal relationships altogether.

This is a fracture to the very fabric of your Inner Being which of course profoundly desires connection. Yet, how can you risk connecting, and letting somebody deeply into your inner world and emotions ever again?

Maybe, after being narcissistically abused, and feeling soul raped at this level, you may feel it would be impossible to trust another human being again.

I completely understand this, because I used to feel like this too.

Resurrection Number Two: Becoming a Source To Yourself

I want you to know though, with all of my heart, there is a way to heal all of this. It starts with understanding one of the greatest lies that we have all been fed, as human beings, in regard to relationships.

We believed that it was other people’s responsibility to give us our own wholeness, meaning our own levels of love, approval, security, and survival. As children, this was very true, that was our parents’ or guardian’s job. Sadly, many of our adult caretakers were brought up in less than emotionally healthy environments and may never have been whole and healthy enough themselves to be able to effectively do that job.

It’s incredible to see in our world that the most important education of all, how to be a healthy, emotionally whole person, imparting and granting this essential human foundation to one’s offspring, is not the number one curriculum on this planet. It’s not even a subject that is taught on this planet.

Via narcissistic abuse, this make or break deal fractured our inner relationship with ourselves as well as the ability to create healthy ones with others. Now, we have the opportunity to wake up to the truth — that recovery requires healing our relationship with our Self to establish the love, approval, security, survival, wholeness, and capacity that we need to be for ourselves.

Then we will no longer hold people responsible and cling to them, as we did as children, trying to make these people grant us ourselves.

I found personally, as well as in the lives of so many Thrivers who have worked with NARP, that as a result of releasing our traumas and returning back to our True Self state, we understand the greatest truth of all — our levels of love, approval, security and survival really have nothing to do with other people or whether or not they could betray us. All along, this was really about how we were betraying ourselves, unknowingly, by putting the generation of our truth, value and our entire life into the hands of others, as we did as of course we did as children when we had no choice in the matter.

As adults we do have a choice; we can heal and develop to fully take on this responsibility for ourselves.

Then we know nobody can betray us unless we’re betraying ourselves.

 

Level Number Three: Loss of Resources

Narcissistic abuse is not just painful, it’s usually materially incredibly expensive. The amount of money and resources that gets thrown away trying to survive these relationships is horrific. Narcissists are like a black hole that suck not just energy, health and sanity, they also gobble up finances — literally.

It is extremely common as a result of narcissistic abuse to lose much if not everything you have worked your whole life for, up to that point.

This happened to me, and it happens to more people than you could even imagine. Many people believe that this means that they will never be able to rebuild and that their life will never be the same. It’s understandable why people think like this because narcissistic abuse often happens to people in midlife and beyond.

Naturally, if we have been very attached to achievement and accomplishments as our core identity, the trauma that we suffer through material loss is devastating. More than it just being an ego injury, it also may trigger within you the white-hot terror of not believing that you are going to be able to survive.

This was definitely the case for me. The horror was so bad, I thought I would die.

Resurrection Number Three: Truly Valuing Yourself

The necessary shift out of the trauma of all of this is to wake up to another profound truth, that the value of my soul was far greater than the perceived value of my accomplishments.

Personally, I was never going to rebuild anything in my life if I didn’t start from the bottom up, which was understanding that I was valuable and worthy as a human being, as I was, regardless of what I did or didn’t have.

It wasn’t until I was willing to love, approve, accept and partner with myself, traumas, financial devastation and all, that life itself and all of the resources in life could begin to do so as well.

The gift in my resurrection from shocking financial trauma was being able to finally anchor into the truth that I am safe and whole, and flourished and nourished by all of life simply because I exist. In no way did healing my beliefs at this core level make me delusional or lazy or entitled. Rather, it allowed me the ability to feel inspired and flowing without fear, without the necessity to try to produce material wealth in order to feel worthy or as a requirement to survive.

It also allowed me to accept opportunities, support and abundance in droves from life itself, matching my newly established healthy belief systems.

Finally, for the first time in my life, it allowed me to rebuild my life from a place of joy, purpose and inspirational creation without conditions on the outcomes.

Losing everything I had, to finally heal my fractured survival beliefs, was more than worth it.

The reason I am sharing my profound personal soul experience with this, is because I know, regardless of your survival struggles, exactly the same is true for you too.

I have seen so many beautiful people in this community, who statistically did not have the supposed qualifications, and were not at what is considered to be a financially productive age, start generating greater prosperity and abundance than they ever had previously.

All as a result of finally honouring their Inner Being first.

 

Level Number Four: Devastated Health

It is beyond traumatic to suffer the health symptoms of narcissistic abuse. Things like anxiety, depression, CPTSD, fibromyalgia, adrenal fatigue and any of the emotional, nervous system and physical breakdowns, all brought on by the horrific stress of abuse and living non-aligned with our soul truth.

Maybe as a capable, resourceful person, with a previously very high tolerance to stress, you were shocked to discover that this time around you couldn’t just pick yourself up off the ground and get on with It.

The effects of narcissistic abuse are like slamming into a brick wall. When life can no longer go on as normal, this is when things need to change. And the only thing that can change is the change that you make within yourself.

I know for myself, that I had always been high functioning and treated my body like a machine, to get things done, and certainly not as something to honour, connect with and love.

Resurrection Number Four: Release the Trauma Generating the Symptoms

Sadly, traditional abuse recovery purports that certain nervous system conditions such as PTSD are conditions that we will have for life.

Nothing is further from the truth.

PTSD and other nervous system disorders are all symptoms of trauma accumulated in our Inner Being at levels so extreme that parts of us break. However, when we turn inwards and release the trauma causing these conditions, then as the trauma goes the condition heals, and often this happens very quickly.

Like so many others, I was told I would never heal and recover from my abuse symptoms and would have to manage them for the rest of my life with antipsychotics.

I know, likewise, there are many of you in this community who had similar diagnoses, who are now living completely trauma-free and are Thriving.

Thank goodness, like those of us who don’t wish to live a disintegrated life, I didn’t accept that diagnosis, or I would never have self-partnered, turned inwards and freed myself from these inner traumas. And I would never have realised the ability to continue doing the same for the rest of my life, on literally any topic that is generating any less-than state.

I am now mentally and emotionally and physically the healthiest in my 50s than I’ve ever been in my entire life, even way before being abused. And I have the absolute joy of seeing so many of you, who are doing the inner work in this community, enjoying and shining your radiance as well.

This is what I wish for all of us, even if it feels like it’s a million miles away for you right now, the reality of profound, unprecedented healing from the inside out.

Okay, I hope that this episode has spoken to you. I know that these four levels of trauma are consistent virtually for everyone who has been narcissistically abused.

If this did resonate with you, and you want to resurrect your life and all these four areas in spectacular ways, then come with me by clicking this link.

And if you want to see more of my videos please make sure that you subscribe to my channel, and if you liked this video click like and make sure you share it with others so that they can also wake up to the truth.

And as always I look forward to your comments and questions below.

 

Read More –>

Why Do Narcissists Lie So Much?

Why Do Narcissists Lie So Much?

 

Sooo many people have wondered why narcissists lie so much!

It is gut-wrenching to be with someone who pathologically lies.

About small things, big things and things that they don’t even need to lie about.

Does a narcissist know they are doing it?

Do they intend to do it?

Why do they do it even when it is not necessary to do it?

What would it take for them to stop doing it?

There is an old expression that goes around abuse communities – ‘If a narcissist’s lips are moving, they are lying.’

It’s not always true – but sadly often it is.

Today’s article answers the question ‘WHY do narcissists lie so much?’ – and how you can detect it and start to live a life where truth, honesty, and safety are your constants.

Before we get into this information today, I’d like to thank all of you who have supported the Thriver Mission by subscribing to my blog, and if you haven’t yet done so, please do.  Also, if you like this article make sure you give it a like and share it with others.

OK on to today’s article.

 

What Constitutes A Lie?

I just want to start off by getting very clear about what is or isn’t a lie.

We all know there are times that we are not 100% truthful to people. We don’t lie as much as narcissists do, but maybe at times, we do lie a little. We may tell someone that their outfit looks lovely when we really think they shouldn’t be wearing it. We could tell people what they want to hear to keep the peace, or we may even lie by omission and simply leave out facts that we don’t want people to know about.

I personally believe, as we evolve into an authentic True Self, that we do become more honest. Meaning we become more willing to say the truth to people to help give them genuine feedback, that possibly another outfit (in our opinion) many be more suitable, or we will reflect back to them their blind spots in perceptions or behaviours to help them heal and grow.

Often ‘not telling the truth’ is something we think we are doing to not hurt someone else’s feelings, but usually, if we are brutally honest with ourselves (which is what Thriving is all about – leaving our self-delusions behind) we know that really we are ‘lying’ to try to avoid having uncomfortable confrontations with others – and risk being criticised, rejected, abandoned or punished by them.

When we start healing and thriving healthily, we know that honesty and integrity really do serve ourselves and everyone else in the highest ways, because if you love and care for someone you are going to have an authentic relationship with them. After all, in virtually every case, the power of truth does set everyone free.

When lies are intended to not just ‘spare confrontation’ but are used to cover up pathological behaviour, then they are even more horribly impactful.  Things that the other person would not be thrilled about – such as cheating, embezzling, smearing and manoeuvring things for one’s own self-serving benefits – are all the types of lies that narcissists are famous for.

And … discovering the ‘love’ that you thought you were sharing with a narcissist was a lie – is beyond devastating.

Lies severely damage relationships – period.

They destroy communion, connection, and trust. After knowing you have been lied to, how do you know what is real or what isn’t? Many of us even discovered after being lied to and catching out lies, that we became paranoid, that we started stalking, checking up and reading and looking into things we normally would not have.

It’s a shocking way to live.

Yet even if lies are NOT big things – and it is mere embellishments that are found out – this is also very disturbing and causes a lack of trust, respect, and connection.

Narcissists exaggerate. They insert their own delusional version of things. Generally, things that make them more significant, dramatic and noticed.  And these things often bear little resemblance to facts – it is their fictitious rendition of how they would have liked something to be, or what is necessary for them to get attention (narcissistic supply) from people.

Let’s look at WHY they lie as easily as taking their next breath.

 

A False Self’s Life

When a person submerges their True Self, believing they can’t get their needs met by being this person, the only option is to recreate themselves as someone else.

This ‘someone else’ is a False Self, a fictitious character who is being a person and living a life that isn’t the truth.

This is the number one reason why narcissists lie so much.

Because of stepping outside of this integrity and authenticity, one’s self and life becomes distorted. The default brain wiring is on ‘stories’, ‘make-believe’ and ‘delusional excuses’.

Many times, a narcissist doesn’t know that they are lying, because their reality is so far off-tap that they don’t know what is real or not anymore.

Narcissists embellish stories. They exaggerate. They lie about themselves being more unique, better, more dramatic, accomplished, interesting and the like. They do this to get attention, favours, trust, and empathy – all valued aspects of narcissistic supply and positioning for gain.

Sometimes they lie to protect themselves from narcissistic injury – truths that the ego simply can’t handle. Things like, ‘It was my decision to leave the relationship’ after someone else dumped them, or they walked away from their job after being replaced … or whatever it may be.

At these times, because the truth is too much of a threat to the damaged insecure self-image, the narcissist has adopted the lie as a necessary buffer.

Another example of when the narcissist believes their own lies is when he or she projects onto you – these are the times when a narcissist blames you for everything that he or she does and sounds so convinced that it is you doing these things. The reason is because the narcissist thoroughly believes it is you doing these things.

There are reasons for this.

The narcissist’s severely disowned inner self which is beyond reproach – never wrong and never to be held accountable – the inner core that the narcissist is actually disgusted with, is projected outwards onto someone else. This disowned damaged part is then externalised and the narcissist beats it up mercilessly through you.

The truth of the matter is this – living in unconsciousness brings delusions – the greatest being the constant lying to oneself and being stuck in unconsciousness as a result.

 

When the Narcissist Does Know He Or She is Lying

 A narcissist lies so much because in reality he or she is a drug addict.

The drug of choice is the constant unstoppable need for narcissistic supply – attention, acclaim, energy and stuff that feeds the False Self and keeps a narcissist from falling into the all-consuming black hole inside themselves of defectiveness and nothingness that is always threatening to eat them alive.

Like any addict who needs their drug, lots of lying is involved. A narcissist can’t tell people their TRUE motives, they have to create fabrications to get what they really want.

Like telling someone they are their newly found soul mate and the love of their life – simply to get a hit of sex.

Like telling someone that they have all this experience and qualifications, that aren’t real, to get involved in something that will benefit them.

Like stating ‘I care about you and what can I do for you?’ when this is really about getting the ego feed of you telling them how wonderful they are.

Or … sidling up to people with compliments and granting attention to promote one’s own advancement.

These are the things that a narcissist is having to work at every day – it is the only way to regulate enough constant narcissistic supply.

The narcissist is deeply aware of his or her defence mechanisms and beliefs of ‘having to have the upper hand’ and ‘me versus you’ in order to survive. Because the narcissist knows he or she thinks and behaves like this, they believe everyone else also does this.

The narcissist doesn’t trust anyone.

At the times when the narcissist does know they are lying, and constructs the fabrication, there is always the perfect excuse constructed to do this. The narcissist deems themselves deserving of lying because of what has been done to him or her, or whatever they believe their entitlement may be.

They also imagine that if they don’t get in first, that you will. They believe that you are out to get them.

The truth is narcissists don’t think there is anything wrong with lying – it’s just a way of life. They don’t feel bad about it or guilty – rather they are just terrified of being caught out for REAL, which is people discovering the crippled inner defective self that is hiding beneath the fictitious omnipotent False Self.

 

How To Protect Yourself From Narcissistic Lies

There is only one way to make ourselves no longer susceptible to narcissistic people and how and why the narcissist lies so much.

I’m going to be really straight with you about this – as I had to be with myself – STOP … lying … to … yourself.

This is what I mean by this.

Stop being with someone who has shown their hand at being a pathological liar (not to mention all the malicious things that narcissists do) because I promise you real and healthy people just don’t do this.

Stop ignoring the terrible feelings in your body that allow you to know you are trauma bonded, you know this person is not healthy for you, is severely damaging you, and yet you are trying to find justifications and excuses to find a way to make it work with them.

You know how it goes, we all did when we ignored the screams of our Inner Being and continued regardless. We paid a shockingly, hefty price.

I promise you that when you listen to, and start to honour, support and align with the truth of your Inner Being, all of life and the healthy supportive resources of life will do so with you too.

It’s Quantum Law – so within so without.

I know it is the hardest thing to do initially – to face the truth.

But we know, deep in our core, in our true selves that this person is not real, doesn’t have the capacity to be safe and is destroying us.

And the reason we do hang on is because we don’t know yet that we can be REAL for ourselves – we can be True Selves, generating truth, safety, power, honesty, and decency with other people.

We can BE authentic and have our needs met.

We CAN come out of the trance of hiding and dimming down, handing our True Selves away trying to get others to be REAL for us.

I know it is easier said than done, and that is exactly why I created a step-by-step healing process that not only allows you to go free, but fully supports you to lose your trauma, reignite your True Self and start navigating and creating your life from that place – which is what True Thriving is about.

You can access the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Course, known as NARP, by clicking on this hyperlink.

So, I hope that this article has helped you a lot, and if you enjoy my blog please make sure to subscribe to my free newsletter below so you will be notified as soon as each new one is released.

Also please make sure you share this with somebody who you know is being lied to.

And as always, I look forward to answering your comments and your questions below.

 

Read More –>

How Narcissists Use Sex As A Weapon

How Narcissists Use Sex As A Weapon

 

Let’s talk about the horror of sex with a narcissist. Even if you feel like the sex was (or is) great, there really is a much more sinister game going on.

Why does sex with a narcissist come with so many highs and lows? Why do you feel so empty, used, and even violated after sex with a narcissist?

What is really going on in the sexual, energetic and soul exchange with a narcissist?

I can’t wait to help enlighten you, as well as help you know how to escape a narcissist’s sexual clutches, and detox yourself from their sexual pollution.

 

 

Video Transcript

For today’s Halloween special, I want to talk about something that is gruesome.

Sex with a narcissist!

Why is it so unwholesome? Because narcissists use sex as a weapon against you.

This can happen powerfully and quickly, or be an induced trauma-bonding over a period of time. Whichever way it happens it can feel almost impossible to break free from.

Many people report ‘the sex is so great’ and find it incredibly hard to break away and stop being abused. Others may not believe the sex is great, but still be bonded energetically through sex to the narcissist.

Today, I want to talk to you about the psychological, physical and also deadly… yes, deadly… psychic ways narcissists can use sex as a weapon against you.

So, watch on to find out…

Okay, so just before I get into this episode, I would like to thank everyone who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do so. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Alright. On to it, sex … and what that means with a narcissist!

 

Why Is Sex What Many Narcissists ‘Hunt’?

Many narcissists are very sexually active and hunt people sexually. This is true for narcissists in and not in so-called committed relationships.

Via sex, narcissists are able to gain A-grade narcissistic supply – which means having people show them masses of attention and being controlled by what the narcissist is or isn’t doing. If a narcissist is the centre of someone’s Universe that is a prime position – because it means he or she has secured attention and energy that the narcissist can then regulate with ‘I want you now’, ‘I don’t want you now’ games.

The narcissist’s total necessity to stay emotionally functional requires getting the significance from others that can keep self-medicating away the trauma of their broken insecure inner self. Sex is a powerful tool to secure a constant supply of valuable narcissistic supply.

Sex is not just a ‘connecting’ mechanism for narcissists; it works for many non-narcissistic people as well.

We all know that sex can take involvement with someone to another level. For most women, this starts a deep chemical, cellular and emotional bonding process, where she will feel ‘coupled’ and start desiring a deeper relationship with that person. She may start believing in and wanting a commitment and a life-partner relationship.

Men, when being drawn into a narcissist’s sexual net, can be mesmerised by the narcissist’s sexual performance which is designed to provide the attention, compliments and fantasy that makes him feel sexually met and gratified, as well as providing the possibility for lasting love.

To gain narcissistic supply through sex is generally very easy for a narcissist to do. The winning formula is this: identify what someone has missing in their life emotionally or some past grievance or unresolved hurt, pretend to be the remedy for that, and many people will automatically trust you and even be extremely attracted to you.

This formula is especially powerful to snare unsuspecting females who have been hurt and struggle to find someone who they believe they can trust. The narcissist feigning ‘a saviour’ to them, appears to be their dream come true in spades.

For men, often it is the sexuality and aesthetics – the physical beauty – as well as interest in and care for him that lures men into sexual relationships with narcissists. It’s very interesting that men who are captured sexually by narcissists may not have started off considering a relationship with this person, but discovered that very quickly they found themselves in one.

This is because, once a narcissist connects sexually, they have more ability to induce trauma bonding and get control over their prey.

The Emotional Sexual Hooking Game

Being in a sexual relationship with a narcissist is not trustworthy, soothing or secure.

Rather, your sexual times are mingled with all sorts of insecurity and lack of safety.

You may wonder who they are talking to when their phone rings and they walk off around a corner. Or a trigger goes off within you when they start texting or engaging in social media on their computer.

You may question your own paranoia, but if you are honest with yourself, you know something feels off.

The narcissist may be all loved up with you one minute and then verbally and even physically disregarding, or even discarding you the next.

Maybe the narcissist has told you they are re-evaluating the relationship or don’t know whether they want to be in it anymore. The narcissist possibly, at times, goes missing in action.

Yet … at other times this person seems to not be able to get enough of you, including under the sheets.

Possibly there have been affairs you have discovered with exes or new targets, or porn involvement or you have caught him or her on internet dating sites.

Then the narcissist will convince you that it is all a mistake, or it didn’t happen or even appear to take responsibility and apologise – if that is necessary to snare you back in.

Or he or she will offer ONLY as much as it will take to retain you, which in advanced stages of narcissistic abuse isn’t much, and then you are having sex with the narcissist again.

WHAT is going on here?

I promise you that this is trauma-bonding. This is not how healthy, safe, kind sexual relationships go at all.

The narcissist knows that if you are suffering unease, uncertainty and trauma, and then he or she gets back together with you, the relief of that rollercoaster ride is such a HIGH, that it feels like LOVE.

It’s not love. It’s abuse, and it’s terribly unhealthy because what happens is that you chemically start to chase the ‘relief’, the high, and start tolerating greater dips down and down into the ‘lows’ to try to recapture that sense of ‘relief’.

If this is what you are going through, (as I promise you I once was too) you are severely and dangerously addicted to a person who can and will destroy you.

You’ve lost your boundaries as well as your self-worth bargaining chips.

Once you are hooked and traumatised and suffering from dire emptiness within and craving the narcissist to fix it, the narcissist can start relaxing on behaviour, allow his or her mask to drop and abusively demand even more compliance and acts to satisfy the narcissist’s insatiable and insane control and takeovers.

This could include having you accept sexually degrading acts like threesomes, getting you to agree to an open relationship, and even worse things.

Maybe now sex is withheld purposefully to punish you.

At this point, you need help to recover – badly.

Sucking Your Soul

Without going all Harry Potter Dementor-ish, I really want to offer my opinion about this.

If you are having sex with a False Self, who is a No-Self, you are getting your soul sucked out of you.

Narcissists don’t make love, they don’t have the ability to connect with you soul-to-soul, because they have divorced themselves from their True Self, which is the gateway to soul health.

Self-love, humanity, oneness and a connection with their Higher Power has all been obliterated by the narcissist’s False Self takeover. What is left is a relentless, unappeasable black hole. No matter what you do or give, it will never be enough.

Sex with a narcissist is only performed by them to self-medicate away the inner screams of their catatonic, disowned severely damaged Inner Being, and to feed the False Self with importance. Or to manipulate you to give them something that you normally would not.

To a narcissist you are no more than a masturbation and self-acclaim tool. The sex is not about you, or the union, and never will be.

This is why sex with a narcissist, no matter what happens in the act, leaves you feeling empty, and even violated afterwards.

True Intimacy means ‘in-to-me-see’. It is a sharing of one’s complete self with trust and love with another. A narcissist is never going to let you in or share his or her True Self with you. You are having sex with a fictitious character who is not soul connected with you at all.

In fact, the lack of soul health that the narcissist suffers from means that this False Self is stealing energy from you to buffer up the False Self, the narcissist’s core identity that can’t create and maintain energy of its own.

Sex provides a very direct way for you to be mined for your psychic and energetic resources. You are literally being pillaged of your soul energy.

You may have noticed that after sex with a narcissist you feel exhausted, drained or even unwell.

Now you know why.

How To Protect Yourself

Getting sexually involved with a narcissist is damaging on multiple levels.

Once they have infiltrated your body, not only are they sucking your soul and sanity, it is also likely that they will try to get their tendrils into other aspects of your life, such as your finances, resources and contacts, as well.

As a player in the dramatic stage show of the narcissist’s life, with them positioning themselves as the leading star, you could become entrenched in the drama of it all.

You may be used as sexual punishment against one of the narcissist’s other supply objects, be included in a traumatic love-triangle, or be the next dramatic discard and ‘lunatic’ that the poor narcissist has suffered from … all of which gains him or her wonderful compassion and supply from others.

I have said it so many times, and I will say it again, not everyone can get taken in by a narcissistic person.

If we are too eager to trust and connect and don’t do our due diligence to ascertain someone’s character accurately, then we are potential targets.

If we feel empty, needy, and unloved or unlovable we can be as susceptible to being love-bombed and complimented into being the next supply, as a dying person in a desert will dive headlong into a mirage.

Yes, narcissists love the thrill of the chase and to snare, take control and have people be submissive to them – but they are short sprinters. They need a payoff quickly – just like a lion does when he strikes upon a limping gazelle at the edge of the passing herd.

A narcissist has limited energy to expend to secure new supply. He or she is not going to keep trying if you have been tested and found out to be a robust bison. Meaning, you are not needy, falling for the love-bombing or found out to have scanty or non-existent boundaries (I promise you narcissists work it out pretty quickly).

Take your time to get to know someone. Let go of the beliefs that sex is how you will get someone to commit to you, or that if you don’t hand over sex, someone will discard you. None of that applies for decent and whole people seeking decent whole relationships.

And above all, be full and healed and developed enough within yourself to feel inwardly secure, full, self-assertive and honest, before becoming sexually involved with anyone.

Then you will flush out a narcissist by not caving into their demands to enmesh and hook up quickly. You will retain your interests and life whilst dating respectfully. You won’t jump to someone else’s beck and call, and you will honour yourself by questioning something and saying ‘No’ if your boundaries are pushed and something feels uncomfortable.

The bottom line being – you are TOTALLY prepared to lose someone else from your life than risk putting your soul and life in jeopardy.

Healthy love in NO WAY carries those risks!

I promise you that when you have all of that in place, narcissists will unravel and expose themselves right in front of you, or will disappear as quickly as they appeared. ‘No food for me here’ is their total understanding.

The Sexual Truth About Narcissists

Sadly, narcissists are damaged and polluted beings.

Not only is it common to run the high risk of sexually transmitted diseases, because of their non-discriminant sexual behaviour, they are also intensely toxic energetically when you combine your sexual energy with theirs.

If you have already been intimately narcissistically abused, is it worth the risk again?

If you know you have work to do to never get taken in by a narcissist again – then please check out my Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP), which is the complete healing and training package to reprogram your Inner Love Code so that this can’t happen again.

And if you know you need to detox from the terrible sexual addiction to, torment with and traumatising emotional and psychic pollution from a narcissist, then please consider NARP to get this done. Humbly I don’t know of any tool that works so powerfully to achieve this, and in record time.

You can find out more about NARP by clicking this link.

Also, I am so excited to share with you that I am going to be hosting my Premier Live Events in Australia. They’re in my home country.

Early December this is happening, and myself and the MTE Global Team will be hosting these in Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane where we are going to birth your recovery, by sharing with you the most potent and powerful tools (humbly) there are in the world for people to recover from abuse.

So, I would so love to see you there so you may join in these events with a support person, so that they understand more deeply what your recovery is about and what you are going through. Or maybe bring friends and family who you know have gone through abuse as well, who could benefit from this.

And, for a limited time, I’m offering a $100.00 discount off tickets.

I’m so excited about this, I can’t wait– so click this link to find out dates and to secure your tickets.

And I am so looking forward to connecting with you in your comments and questions below.

 

Read More –>

Can Narcissists Really Move On Like Nothing Happened?

Can Narcissists Really Move On Like Nothing Happened?

 

Going through the agony of seeing the narcissist has moved on like you don’t exist can feel like a knife going into your heart.

Seeing the narcissist and new supply can evoke feelings of worthlessness, obsession and jealousy.

Discover why the narcissist is behaving this way and how you can heal for real from this in this Thriver TV episode.

 

 

Video Transcript

It certainly appears as if he or she has…

Sailed off into the sunset with the new supply. The big bounty – which probably used to be yours –looking all loved up, enjoying all that life has to offer.

The narcissist will tell you that they are happy to see the last of you and that their new life is SO much better.

You, on the other hand, can barely crawl out from underneath your bedclothes, and feel like you have been blown to pieces by a landmine.

Is it true?

Has the narcissist moved on like nothing has happened?

Are they capable of this? And what does it really mean?

The answers that you receive in today’s Thriver TV episode may shock you because they most likely will not be what you expect.

 

Okay, before we deeply investigate this, thank you everyone who has subscribed to my channel and supported the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, please do. And if you like this video, give it a thumbs up!

Deep breath now and let’s plunge in!

 

The Questions and Devastation On Your Mind

Of course, it is emotionally devastating to believe that someone has moved on from you as if you never existed.

To us, that equals – ‘I wasn’t meaningful to this person’. And that terrible question, which initially threatens the very fabric of our Inner Identity – ‘Did this person even love me?’

As well as all the insidious things that we can think about ourselves regarding ‘not being good enough’ and ‘what does the new supply have that I don’t?’

Okay, if this is you please pause the video and let me know in the comments below what it is that you are feeling.

Yet, truly we are applying all these questions and thinking to the normal human equation of things – which narcissists simply don’t fit into.

 

Can Narcissists REALLY Move On Like Nothing Happened?

I’m going to drop the bombshell on you immediately … the answer is YES. The narcissist can and does move on like nothing happened.

This is not because you are unlovable or unworthy of love.

I know you might think that, and you always will if you hold other people’s character, actions and behaviours as the barometer of your worth – which naturally we need to address and heal!

The REAL reason being – nothing REAL did happen.

And the reason that nothing real happened, is because the narcissist is not a real person. He or she is a fictitious character; a False Self playing life as a stage play of their life to feed their ego (False Self).

When the play isn’t turning out how the narcissist needs it to – to gain enough narcissistic supply (attention and significance) – the narcissist needs to exit stage right and walk onto another stage as quickly as possible.

Here is another bombshell – you are MEANINGLESS to the narcissist when you are no longer the chosen self-medication fix to feed their ego.

That isn’t an insult and it doesn’t mean that you are meaningless. It’s actually a severe limitation of the narcissistic personality. Them not being real, means others are not real either. Other individuals are merely inanimate objects to the narcissist; extras who have a necessary role in a particular play at a particular time. This was you.

I personally know the total agony of wondering incessantly, ‘Can he REALLY move on so fast as if nothing happened? And ‘Was I that meaningless to him?’

My heart goes out to you with a big cyber hug, if you are going through this. And I want you to understand HOW to get free from the place you are in very quickly and powerfully – by inviting you into a radical way to accept the truth and heal.

I promise you that I am not granting you the truth to shame you, blame you or make you feel worse.

I am telling you this truth to help empower you, set you free and heal you.

I know of people who have waited years for the narcissist to return to them – and have never accepted the discard.

That is a living hell – and you truly can start to heal and access your personal heaven.

Now, let’s continue to peel this back…

 

When the Narcissist Hoovers You Back In

When we understand the motivation of a narcissist, who uses people as props to feed their ego, this explains the hoovering phenomenon.

Narcissists are famous for circling back to you and telling you that they miss you; that he or she made a mistake, still loves you, wants to work things out, and so on and so forth.

Or they will incite an argument with you, whereby you get upset and hook in and he or she then smooches up to you again.

This will make your head spin: ‘Hang on, you moved on. You were with a new person or at the very least told me you didn’t love me. You wanted to be away from me and now you want to get back with me?’

Many a person has fallen for it. I did too. And it leads to more pain, even worse abuse, and harder discards.

Why does the narcissist do it?

They do it because they feel needy for the ego feed of knowing that you still want them, or perhaps because the new supply is not turning out as well as expected.

The real truth is that narcissists are greedy for ego feeds and are indiscriminate. With ‘tortured love’ there is lots of drama and emotional energy to mine. Many narcissists will have sex with their Exes with zero regard for the new supply.

Isn’t it interesting that you thought you were meaningless and worthless? If we are using the measuring stick of integrity, loyalty and monogamy, this means the new supply is also.

Who does the narcissist really love?

No-one.

The narcissist’s allegiance is with one entity only – his or her False Self; the relentless Master who requires insatiable feeding of significance. And not only at a current or former partner’s expense –at the narcissist’s too.

Can you imagine the insanity this sort of life creates?

Can you imagine lying and having to triangulate effectively? Sneaking around covering tracks and living with the possibility of being found out and their life exploding at any moment.

Welcome to the narcissist’s ‘normal’ world, which is forever cracking, breaking, burning people out and needing the ‘up and leave and begin again’ effort to survive.

 

If You Are Not Hoovered Again

I know that initially this can be terrible for you.

You may feel after the narcissist has moved on with someone else like, ‘What is so wrong with me that I am no longer being hoovered?’.

This is what I believe is the absolute truth about narcissists – they deliver to us the THING that hurts the most. This is both because they have identified it and because narcissists in our life provide an incredible opportunity for us to heal our unhealed parts, that they painfully trigger.

My greatest recommendation to you is to take this as a blessing (the silence) and use the opportunity to turn inwards and heal what you are feeling. Then, I promise you, you won’t give two hoots about who the narcissist has run off with.

I promise you also that when you do the inner work – just as I did on the reasons why I was assigning another person as my level of lovability, worth and value, and came home to being a beautiful, full source to myself – the pain and the longing will totally go.

And … after you do the inner work … you will no longer accept any hoover attempts (if they do come) any more than you would nail yourself to the back of a burning door.

I assure you, if you start NARPing you will know exactly what I mean!

 

Personal Happiness Is Determined By Growth

Anyone can look like their life is AWESOME on social media.

BUT … are they at peace and do they feel whole within?

Are they able to be real, honest and communicate healthily in relationships, in order to create healthy partnerships of mutuality?

These are questions we can investigate when reflecting on the narcissist and also about ourselves.

People who refuse to turn inwards and process and heal their previous relationship pain to completion – meaning healing previously unintegrated and unhealed parts – are stuck in the same cycles, going through the same relationships, just with different faces.

As much as people try to get a person that is going to be different ‘this time’, it doesn’t happen.

Narcissists don’t take time out to reflect. They don’t heal. They don’t learn from their mistakes.

The narcissistic motto is: ’You are my life to provide me with ego attention and significance and let me mine you so that you fulfil all of my needs And when you stop playing that role, I will punish and discard you.’

This is not a relationship.

You NEVER had a REAL relationship with this person.

It’s a dictatorship – no matter what wrapping it appears to be disguised in. Sooner or later any new supply is going to see the mask fall and come face to face with the terrible trauma of what their relationship is really about.

And, of course, they are likely to go through the same journey of denial again and again, as they try to make each relationship that never was, be real.

That is until they realise the same truth that you are FACING now – what this is REALLY about is turning inwards to love and heal yourself back to value, worth and wholeness.

It never is anyone else’s job to grant us that!

 

The Shift In Perception

When I removed myself from my narcissistic relationship, I lost almost everything I owned. My life went from being financially secure and successful, from before meeting him, to being significantly diminished.

Here he was now living in the home I had bought us, living the high life, and making a ton of money in a business that I had set up for him.

Did I feel cheated, defiled, ripped off and destroyed? Yes, initially, I did.

Was I suffering agoraphobia so badly that I couldn’t even walk out my front door without having a panic attack? Was I so crippled that I could barely function? Yes!

Was the ex-narcissist romancing women, wining, dining, buying new and better cars and having a wow of a time? Yes!

With Quanta Freedom Healing (NARP), I let go of my envy, pain and fears about money and possessions. I let go of the need for bigger and better things in my life. Instead, I focused on finally healing my Inner Being as my highest mission.

I valued my soul above all else.

Then an incredible inner peace and love came, as I released more and more trauma. Everything started to fall into place. Yet I no longer needed it to be so in order for me to be happy and whole; I was JUST Being happy and whole!

Then I understood the truth. The absolute devastation of all the pain of a False Life with a narcissist had forced me to my knees to finally turn inwards and partner with myself.

The rest is history.

I am THRILLED beyond measure that this happened FOR me.

Is this resonating with you? Are you feeling a shift in perception? Can you sense that what I am saying is the truth? Are you already living from the Thriver perspective? Pause this video and let me know in your comments below.

 

Time To Get the Real Thing

Now, here is the thing for you … it’s healthy for you to not jump straight into another relationship. If you try to, you know it is likely to be a terrible experience.

Why – because your soul knows that the opportunity you really want, more than anything, is to heal, evolve and grow towards the sustainability of fulfilling relationships that ARE real.

The narcissist can’t have real relationships.

False, broken, unfulfilling relationships are what he or she, living excessively from the False Self, is doomed to have. However, YOU can have REAL relationships if you are willing to do the work.

Relationships where you will experience being valued at the level that you value yourself.

Relationships where you will know and connect to people with true characters, kindness and conscience.

But this only becomes possible through growth and healing.

If you don’t do the work to come home to the knowing of your own self-love, worth and fullness within, then you will always seek it from outside of yourself.

I promise you that when you get determined to get off this terrible ride of painful, unsustainable relationships onto REAL and HEALTHY relationship trajectories, you will know that being discarded and ‘not mattering’ were actually powerful gifts to you.

They forced you to get REAL. To REALLY partner with yourself with devotion, love and purpose; to repair the relationship with yourself to become a completely different person going forwards.

You will become a person who is no longer being unconsciously a broken, unhealed child within an adult’s body, trying to find a parent. Rather, you will heal up to become a solid, self-loving adult in your own body, seeking and accepting other whole and healthy adults in partnerships.

And I’d love to get you started on exactly that path – the one away from pain and resentment towards health, love and excitement for what you can create in your life.

So, let’s do this together. Click this link to get started accessing my FREE empowering resources.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

Read More –>

Personality Traits That Attract a Narcissist

What Personality Traits are Narcissists Attracted To?

Personality Traits That Attract a Narcissist

 

I’m going to say that narcissists are attracted to everything they aren’t. If you want to feel wealthy you dress well, act superior and surround yourself with wealthy people. You may not have money in the bank, but your lifestyle says WEALTHY.

We all know there are certain traits missing in the narcissist’s makeup. The narcissist knows this also so, he is going to be attracted to those who, as he needs, make him look good. The narcissist is an empty shell but, they are intelligent enough to know that if they are going to appear likable and become socially accepted, they must attach themselves to someone whose skirt tails they can ride.

Personality Traits That Attract a Narcissist:

  • Intelligence.
  • Being empathetic and compassionate.
  • Having humanitarian interests.
  • Showing heart.
  • Able to express empathy and compassion.
  • High moral compass.
  • Sincerity, warm-heartedness and inner beauty.
  • Being genuinely concerned about the wellbeing of others.
  • Emotional maturity.
  • Friendliness and a love for life. Positive mental attitude.
  • Spirit- an open and happy spirit.
  • Success and achievements.
  • Hierarchy or societal place on the ‘social ladder.’
  • Resources- materialistic blessings or achievements.
  • Unique talents, gifts, and abilities.
  • A genuine care for others, animals and the world.
  • Shyness and insecurities.
  • Someone easily shapeable.
  • Inner beauty.
  • External beauty and someone they can ‘show off.’

You’ll notice, grouped in with those traits is, shyness, insecurities and easily shapeable. That’s the key, they want someone who appears to have it all together on the surface but struggles with self-esteem issues, codependency issues and will to change to please the narcissist. They want a woman to reflect well upon them, but they also want one they can manipulate.

I remember being constantly complimented by my ex because of my volunteer work, my looks, my chosen career, and my love of animals. On the other hand, he was very interested in family of origin issues I dealt with and how those had impacted me.

I made the mistake of confusing his interest with caring and concern. I know now that what he was doing was arming himself with ammunition to use when we got to the manipulation phase of our relationship. Feigning interest in issues you find difficult to deal with is all part of the manipulation game they play.

How Does a Woman Keep from Being the Victim of a Narcissist?

Below are some questions you need to ask yourself. Protecting yourself from a narcissist has a lot to do with how secure your boundaries are and how much bad behavior you’ll accept in a relationship.

Have you ever ended a relationship because the other person was too selfish? 

Or, do you make excuses and blame yourself for not giving enough in the relationship?

Do you have clear boundaries that you enforce about what types of behaviors you will or will not tolerate from a romantic partner?

If a relationship began wonderfully, but quickly goes downhill, do you stay in it hoping that it will improve?

Does being “in love” trump being treated well?

Do you put up with being devalued?

Do you make excuses for the other person’s bad behavior? They don’t really mean it. They had a hard day.

If the person’s behavior turns abusive do you leave immediately?

If you answered yes to any of these questions or, you’re unsure how you would respond in the situation, you’re exactly the type of woman a narcissist is attracted to. You’re the woman who will hold on when she should have let go. You’re the woman who’ll find herself trying to recover from narcissistic abuse and wondering what the hell happened to that wonderful man she fell in love with.

Don’t be that woman!

Bottom Line:

If you find yourself in a relationship with a man who makes you feel uncomfortable or regularly manipulates you into doing things you don’t want to do, he is probably not right for you. Whether he is a narcissist or not, it’s imperative to learn to trust your gut and not accept bad behavior regardless of how you feel about a man. That is what will keep you from ever becoming the victim of a narcissist.

The post What Personality Traits are Narcissists Attracted To? appeared first on Divorced Moms.

Read More –>