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How Narcissists Use Sex As A Weapon

How Narcissists Use Sex As A Weapon

 

Let’s talk about the horror of sex with a narcissist. Even if you feel like the sex was (or is) great, there really is a much more sinister game going on.

Why does sex with a narcissist come with so many highs and lows? Why do you feel so empty, used, and even violated after sex with a narcissist?

What is really going on in the sexual, energetic and soul exchange with a narcissist?

I can’t wait to help enlighten you, as well as help you know how to escape a narcissist’s sexual clutches, and detox yourself from their sexual pollution.

 

 

Video Transcript

For today’s Halloween special, I want to talk about something that is gruesome.

Sex with a narcissist!

Why is it so unwholesome? Because narcissists use sex as a weapon against you.

This can happen powerfully and quickly, or be an induced trauma-bonding over a period of time. Whichever way it happens it can feel almost impossible to break free from.

Many people report ‘the sex is so great’ and find it incredibly hard to break away and stop being abused. Others may not believe the sex is great, but still be bonded energetically through sex to the narcissist.

Today, I want to talk to you about the psychological, physical and also deadly… yes, deadly… psychic ways narcissists can use sex as a weapon against you.

So, watch on to find out…

Okay, so just before I get into this episode, I would like to thank everyone who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do so. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Alright. On to it, sex … and what that means with a narcissist!

 

Why Is Sex What Many Narcissists ‘Hunt’?

Many narcissists are very sexually active and hunt people sexually. This is true for narcissists in and not in so-called committed relationships.

Via sex, narcissists are able to gain A-grade narcissistic supply – which means having people show them masses of attention and being controlled by what the narcissist is or isn’t doing. If a narcissist is the centre of someone’s Universe that is a prime position – because it means he or she has secured attention and energy that the narcissist can then regulate with ‘I want you now’, ‘I don’t want you now’ games.

The narcissist’s total necessity to stay emotionally functional requires getting the significance from others that can keep self-medicating away the trauma of their broken insecure inner self. Sex is a powerful tool to secure a constant supply of valuable narcissistic supply.

Sex is not just a ‘connecting’ mechanism for narcissists; it works for many non-narcissistic people as well.

We all know that sex can take involvement with someone to another level. For most women, this starts a deep chemical, cellular and emotional bonding process, where she will feel ‘coupled’ and start desiring a deeper relationship with that person. She may start believing in and wanting a commitment and a life-partner relationship.

Men, when being drawn into a narcissist’s sexual net, can be mesmerised by the narcissist’s sexual performance which is designed to provide the attention, compliments and fantasy that makes him feel sexually met and gratified, as well as providing the possibility for lasting love.

To gain narcissistic supply through sex is generally very easy for a narcissist to do. The winning formula is this: identify what someone has missing in their life emotionally or some past grievance or unresolved hurt, pretend to be the remedy for that, and many people will automatically trust you and even be extremely attracted to you.

This formula is especially powerful to snare unsuspecting females who have been hurt and struggle to find someone who they believe they can trust. The narcissist feigning ‘a saviour’ to them, appears to be their dream come true in spades.

For men, often it is the sexuality and aesthetics – the physical beauty – as well as interest in and care for him that lures men into sexual relationships with narcissists. It’s very interesting that men who are captured sexually by narcissists may not have started off considering a relationship with this person, but discovered that very quickly they found themselves in one.

This is because, once a narcissist connects sexually, they have more ability to induce trauma bonding and get control over their prey.

The Emotional Sexual Hooking Game

Being in a sexual relationship with a narcissist is not trustworthy, soothing or secure.

Rather, your sexual times are mingled with all sorts of insecurity and lack of safety.

You may wonder who they are talking to when their phone rings and they walk off around a corner. Or a trigger goes off within you when they start texting or engaging in social media on their computer.

You may question your own paranoia, but if you are honest with yourself, you know something feels off.

The narcissist may be all loved up with you one minute and then verbally and even physically disregarding, or even discarding you the next.

Maybe the narcissist has told you they are re-evaluating the relationship or don’t know whether they want to be in it anymore. The narcissist possibly, at times, goes missing in action.

Yet … at other times this person seems to not be able to get enough of you, including under the sheets.

Possibly there have been affairs you have discovered with exes or new targets, or porn involvement or you have caught him or her on internet dating sites.

Then the narcissist will convince you that it is all a mistake, or it didn’t happen or even appear to take responsibility and apologise – if that is necessary to snare you back in.

Or he or she will offer ONLY as much as it will take to retain you, which in advanced stages of narcissistic abuse isn’t much, and then you are having sex with the narcissist again.

WHAT is going on here?

I promise you that this is trauma-bonding. This is not how healthy, safe, kind sexual relationships go at all.

The narcissist knows that if you are suffering unease, uncertainty and trauma, and then he or she gets back together with you, the relief of that rollercoaster ride is such a HIGH, that it feels like LOVE.

It’s not love. It’s abuse, and it’s terribly unhealthy because what happens is that you chemically start to chase the ‘relief’, the high, and start tolerating greater dips down and down into the ‘lows’ to try to recapture that sense of ‘relief’.

If this is what you are going through, (as I promise you I once was too) you are severely and dangerously addicted to a person who can and will destroy you.

You’ve lost your boundaries as well as your self-worth bargaining chips.

Once you are hooked and traumatised and suffering from dire emptiness within and craving the narcissist to fix it, the narcissist can start relaxing on behaviour, allow his or her mask to drop and abusively demand even more compliance and acts to satisfy the narcissist’s insatiable and insane control and takeovers.

This could include having you accept sexually degrading acts like threesomes, getting you to agree to an open relationship, and even worse things.

Maybe now sex is withheld purposefully to punish you.

At this point, you need help to recover – badly.

Sucking Your Soul

Without going all Harry Potter Dementor-ish, I really want to offer my opinion about this.

If you are having sex with a False Self, who is a No-Self, you are getting your soul sucked out of you.

Narcissists don’t make love, they don’t have the ability to connect with you soul-to-soul, because they have divorced themselves from their True Self, which is the gateway to soul health.

Self-love, humanity, oneness and a connection with their Higher Power has all been obliterated by the narcissist’s False Self takeover. What is left is a relentless, unappeasable black hole. No matter what you do or give, it will never be enough.

Sex with a narcissist is only performed by them to self-medicate away the inner screams of their catatonic, disowned severely damaged Inner Being, and to feed the False Self with importance. Or to manipulate you to give them something that you normally would not.

To a narcissist you are no more than a masturbation and self-acclaim tool. The sex is not about you, or the union, and never will be.

This is why sex with a narcissist, no matter what happens in the act, leaves you feeling empty, and even violated afterwards.

True Intimacy means ‘in-to-me-see’. It is a sharing of one’s complete self with trust and love with another. A narcissist is never going to let you in or share his or her True Self with you. You are having sex with a fictitious character who is not soul connected with you at all.

In fact, the lack of soul health that the narcissist suffers from means that this False Self is stealing energy from you to buffer up the False Self, the narcissist’s core identity that can’t create and maintain energy of its own.

Sex provides a very direct way for you to be mined for your psychic and energetic resources. You are literally being pillaged of your soul energy.

You may have noticed that after sex with a narcissist you feel exhausted, drained or even unwell.

Now you know why.

How To Protect Yourself

Getting sexually involved with a narcissist is damaging on multiple levels.

Once they have infiltrated your body, not only are they sucking your soul and sanity, it is also likely that they will try to get their tendrils into other aspects of your life, such as your finances, resources and contacts, as well.

As a player in the dramatic stage show of the narcissist’s life, with them positioning themselves as the leading star, you could become entrenched in the drama of it all.

You may be used as sexual punishment against one of the narcissist’s other supply objects, be included in a traumatic love-triangle, or be the next dramatic discard and ‘lunatic’ that the poor narcissist has suffered from … all of which gains him or her wonderful compassion and supply from others.

I have said it so many times, and I will say it again, not everyone can get taken in by a narcissistic person.

If we are too eager to trust and connect and don’t do our due diligence to ascertain someone’s character accurately, then we are potential targets.

If we feel empty, needy, and unloved or unlovable we can be as susceptible to being love-bombed and complimented into being the next supply, as a dying person in a desert will dive headlong into a mirage.

Yes, narcissists love the thrill of the chase and to snare, take control and have people be submissive to them – but they are short sprinters. They need a payoff quickly – just like a lion does when he strikes upon a limping gazelle at the edge of the passing herd.

A narcissist has limited energy to expend to secure new supply. He or she is not going to keep trying if you have been tested and found out to be a robust bison. Meaning, you are not needy, falling for the love-bombing or found out to have scanty or non-existent boundaries (I promise you narcissists work it out pretty quickly).

Take your time to get to know someone. Let go of the beliefs that sex is how you will get someone to commit to you, or that if you don’t hand over sex, someone will discard you. None of that applies for decent and whole people seeking decent whole relationships.

And above all, be full and healed and developed enough within yourself to feel inwardly secure, full, self-assertive and honest, before becoming sexually involved with anyone.

Then you will flush out a narcissist by not caving into their demands to enmesh and hook up quickly. You will retain your interests and life whilst dating respectfully. You won’t jump to someone else’s beck and call, and you will honour yourself by questioning something and saying ‘No’ if your boundaries are pushed and something feels uncomfortable.

The bottom line being – you are TOTALLY prepared to lose someone else from your life than risk putting your soul and life in jeopardy.

Healthy love in NO WAY carries those risks!

I promise you that when you have all of that in place, narcissists will unravel and expose themselves right in front of you, or will disappear as quickly as they appeared. ‘No food for me here’ is their total understanding.

The Sexual Truth About Narcissists

Sadly, narcissists are damaged and polluted beings.

Not only is it common to run the high risk of sexually transmitted diseases, because of their non-discriminant sexual behaviour, they are also intensely toxic energetically when you combine your sexual energy with theirs.

If you have already been intimately narcissistically abused, is it worth the risk again?

If you know you have work to do to never get taken in by a narcissist again – then please check out my Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP), which is the complete healing and training package to reprogram your Inner Love Code so that this can’t happen again.

And if you know you need to detox from the terrible sexual addiction to, torment with and traumatising emotional and psychic pollution from a narcissist, then please consider NARP to get this done. Humbly I don’t know of any tool that works so powerfully to achieve this, and in record time.

You can find out more about NARP by clicking this link.

Also, I am so excited to share with you that I am going to be hosting my Premier Live Events in Australia. They’re in my home country.

Early December this is happening, and myself and the MTE Global Team will be hosting these in Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane where we are going to birth your recovery, by sharing with you the most potent and powerful tools (humbly) there are in the world for people to recover from abuse.

So, I would so love to see you there so you may join in these events with a support person, so that they understand more deeply what your recovery is about and what you are going through. Or maybe bring friends and family who you know have gone through abuse as well, who could benefit from this.

And, for a limited time, I’m offering a $100.00 discount off tickets.

I’m so excited about this, I can’t wait– so click this link to find out dates and to secure your tickets.

And I am so looking forward to connecting with you in your comments and questions below.

 

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rediscoverying sex after divorce

Rediscovering Sex After Divorce: My Belated Sexual Revolution

rediscoverying sex after divorce

 

When I was going through the divorce process, I made the decision, not to date or have sex (because you can do one without the other) with anyone until I was officially single. No judgment from me to anyone who makes a different choice. It was simply the one that felt right for me.

I needed this relationship to be over before I could pursue other relationships.

My Belated Sexual Revolution

Once the divorce was finalized, I was like a 21-year-old let out at the bar for the first time. It was time to dance on tables, swing from chandeliers, flash someone, and go buck wild. Well, at least as much as my introverted nature would allow.

What I realized, very quickly, was that I’d been having really bad sex for a really long time. The blame lies with both my ex-husband and myself for that one. I didn’t communicate well and would offer him a quickie just to get it over with and get him off my back about sex. He didn’t have enough experience before meeting me (or curiosity afterward) to try new things or to concern himself with my pleasure. We were a bad combination for plenty of reasons, sex was just one of many.

Three years later, I’m in a committed relationship with a healthy, well-functioning, and highly satisfying sex life. If not for a mini-sexual revolution in the post-divorce era, there’s no telling where I’d be now.

Rediscovering Sex After Divorce

The Fling

The first man I connected with after my divorce was a professional colleague. He didn’t work for the same company (thankfully) but we ran in the same circles. He flirted, casually. I flirted back – decidedly rusty after 12 years out of the dating world. A man of action, he quickly asked me out, and I didn’t even hesitate.

This wasn’t a dinner and movie kind of thing. Instead, we met for lunch, fooled around in his sports car and made plans to meet on the weekends. No in-depth conversations here. Our every encounter after the first one was all about sex. Sex in his office. Sex in his house. Sex in his vacation house. All sex, all the time.

Self-Discovery as a Response to Rejection

After the fling burned itself out, I reconnected with an old friend from high school. He was going through a divorce. I was still in the throes of my newly discovered independence and sexuality. But we both remembered a lot of unrequited lust from back in the day.

There was still plenty of heat, 15 years later. The sex was damn hot. New positions. New places. New sensations. At least it was for me. But he was brutally honest (something I didn’t know I needed at the time). I wasn’t letting myself orgasm with him. Not that he couldn’t get me there. Oh no, he could. I just wouldn’t let myself go. He considered it a turn-off. Ugh. Rejection. Humiliation.

I’m a fixer of problems. This orgasm thing was a problem to be fixed, so I did. Rediscovering my own self-pleasure at the age of 32 was weird but necessary. I learned what makes me tick in a whole new way, and I guaranteed that even if I’m alone, I’m never really alone. Toys or hand, either one will do the trick when you need to let off steam.

Discovering New Things

I licked my wounds before moving on in my own personal sexual revolution. I met the next man online. Again, he was going through a divorce (clearly, I was a magnet for these guys) but all seemed well. He had very specific sexual tastes and preferences.

Still a relative newbie in the sexual arena, after 12 years with the same man, the same sex, and the same routine, my eyes were opened to a whole new world. He was the first to take me to an adult toy store (fun times!). The first to talk about being kinky. A lot of firsts. Sex was not something to be done in the same position in the same room with the same exact result every time. I truly had no idea there were so many ways to have sex or so many toys to try.

My eyes were opened to a world I never knew existed. I gained confidence in myself as I embraced my sexual nature. The more experiences I had, the more alive I felt. I needed this time to explore sex with new partners. If not, I might have ended up in another sexless, orgasm-less (oh yeah, I said it) relationship, replaying bad scripts and creating a never ending loop of sexual dissatisfaction.

Not everyone’s revolution will look the same. Heck, not everyone needs a sexual revolution after their divorce. But for anyone who thinks sex is boring or something to be done quickly in order to get it over with, maybe that’s exactly what you need. Good sex doesn’t fix all your problems, but a good orgasm will help you not care about them for a few minutes.

The post Rediscovering Sex After Divorce: My Belated Sexual Revolution appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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Same Sex Marriage: Can a judge stop you from getting a divorce in Texas?

Same Sex Marriage: Can a judge stop you from getting a divorce in Texas?

Originally published by The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC Blog.

Despite the decision out of our federal Supreme Court a few years ago that legalized same sex marriage across our country there are still some misunderstandings and questions regarding that subject. This is understandable to a degree. The change in laws dramatically altered the landscape of family law in terms of who is and is not able to participate in the family law courts. In addition, some folks I have spoken with in my capacity as a consultative attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan still have questions if marriage and divorce work the same for opposite sex and same sex persons. Today’s blog post will discuss marriage and divorce for same sex couples.

Expected length of time for a same sex divorce in Texas?

There are two roads that your divorce could go down. The first is the path of least resistance- an uncontested divorce. To be considered truly uncontested you and your spouse would need to be in agreement on getting a divorce, have a plan in place for diving up any marital property and if you have children would need to have every aspect of a parenting plan agreed upon as well. This means conservatorship, visitation, support, etc. all need to be decided prior to hiring an attorney. If even one piece of this pie is missing, then your divorce is not uncontested and will therefore require some degree of negotiation.

The second path is unfortunately the more common road that most divorces go down- a contested divorce. All of the above issues that I laid out are in play in a contested divorce. The more substantial your martial property or the more detailed your parenting objectives and plans are the more complicated and longer your divorce will likely take. There is not anything wrong with this as a general rule, but it can get tedious and tiresome for most people who are eager to complete their divorce and move on with the rest of their lives.

Generally speaking, a divorce in Texas must take at least sixty days from the date on which the Original Petition for Divorce is filed with the court. Ostensibly the sixty first date is the earliest date on which you and your spouse can have a judge sign a final decree of divorce. A final decree could be signed and ready the day after your petition is filed but absent extreme circumstances (like family violence being an issue) it is unlikely that a judge would waive the sixty-day waiting period. For those of you wondering, the waiting period exists in order for you and your spouse to make absolutely sure that you want to get a divorce rather than remain married and try to work it out together.

How can you avoid a long and protracted divorce?

The key to a fast-moving divorce is to understand early on that you are not going to get 100% of what you want. I wish there were some way to ensure that all of our clients always got just what they wanted out of a divorce but to this point I have not been able to do the math on how to get there. If any attorney ever does get to that point, then the rest of us may as well give it up and start looking for work elsewhere.

The reason that divorces end up being situations where you and your spouse both give up (and therefore gain) things in order to settle the case is that most family courts in Texas require that you attend mediation at least once throughout your case’s life. Typically, you will attend mediation once before any temporary orders hearings and then again before your trial.

Temporary Orders hearings have everything to do with how you and your spouse will be situated during your divorce from the perspective of making sure bills are paid, the kids are cared for and one another are treated with respect. Mediation involves attending a formal negotiation session with your attorneys in the office of a third-party mediator. The mediator is also very likely a practicing family law attorney him or herself so you will be able to gauge the relative strength or weakness of your arguments with the mediator as well.

In mediating for final orders you will likely be extending much of the temporary orders out into your post-divorce life as well as deciding what will happen with any marital property accumulated by you and your spouse. Texas is a community property state. This means that any property that you acquired during the course of your marriage is considered to be jointly owned by both of you and is therefore subject to being divided up in your divorce case. If it is your contention that something acquired during your marriage is your property separate from your spouse- like a gift of some sort- then the burden is on your to prove by clear and convincing evidence that this is the case.

Tips for preparing for mediation in your same sex divorce case

Attending mediation will be the same for you as it would be for persons going through any other divorce. You and your attorney should come prepared with settlement offers, a list of property that may be in play as far as negotiation is concerned as well as plans and ideas on how to divide up parenting time with your children. The more prepared you are and the more variations you have available to you of the different parenting plans the more likely you will be to reach a relatively pain free settlement.

For instance, it is commonly thought in opposite sex divorces that mothers have the advantage when it comes to being named the primary conservator of your child. Primary conservator means the parent who has the right to determine the primary residence of your child- among other rights. This allows your child to live with you throughout the school year and provides visitation time (mostly on weekends) to your spouse once the divorce has been completed.

In same sex divorces there would not be an apples to apples comparison due to there not being a male and female parent from which to choose from. You and your spouse should have had discussions heading into mediation regarding which of you is better suited to be named as the primary conservator of your children. Having an honest conversation with your attorney about which parent has been more active, more involved, and better acquainted with your children’s day to day needs is a good place to start. My admitting to yourself that your spouse has taken the lead in these areas throughout your marriage or has a work schedule that is more conducive to providing the level of care that is needed to raise a child on a daily basis is not admitting that you are not a good parent. It can, however, help you to eliminate contentious delays in your case and lead to a more developed settlement agreement.

Another aspect of divorce mediation that you need to be prepared for is determining how to divide up your bigger financial assets. Retirement plans, bank accounts, home equity and the like are probably the type of assets that you will have in play for your case. If you have not considered these subjects prior to entering into mediation you will find out that you will need to work through them in mediation. Seeing as how most mediation sessions are only four hours long you will not be optimizing your time by spending an undue amount of time on these sort of brain storming sessions while in mediation. Rather, spend a few weeks prior to mediation using your attorney as a go-between to communicate settlement offers to your spouse.

Finally, it is important to note that what you settle upon in mediation cannot (in most circumstances) be changed. That means that you cannot wake up the morning after mediation and call your attorney in a panic because you think you made a huge mistake in deciding to agree to a geographic restriction for your child when you really want to move back home to Colorado to be closer to family once the divorce is over with.

You can avoid problems like this by asking questions of your attorney about anything that you are agreeing or not agreeing to. If any settlements are reached (either in part or in full) then the mediator will present rough draft copies of what is known as a mediated settlement agreement to you and your spouse. You can and should go over them with your attorney to make sure that you understand everything that is being agreed to. If something doesn’t make sense, or if the wording of what the mediator included does not comport to the agreement as you understood it please raise that issue before mediation is over with.

Will you ever have to go to court in your divorce?

Thankfully you will likely only have one court date that you will have to attend during your divorce. That court appearance will be an uncontested appearance in what is known as a Prove Up hearing. The petitioner (party who filed the Petition for Divorce) will attend a quick hearing with their attorney in court. At the prove up hearing your attorney will be presenting you and your Final Decree of Divorce to the judge for his or her approval. The attorney will ask you questions regarding the divorce decree as a means to show the judge that you and your spouse have come to an agreement and are ready to move forward to close out your case.

In all likelihood your judge will not ask any questions and will send you off on your way. The divorce decree will be signed by the judge later that day and will likely be posted online in the day following. You can pay for certified copies at the clerk’s office shortly thereafter.

One question that I am sometimes asked by clients is how much of your prove up hearing will be heard by the public. It is true that anyone can walk into your courtroom during your prove up hearing and hear some details about your case. If you are at all trying to keep the divorce from becoming an “event” or something like that I understand why you may not be too excited to set foot in court and put your life on display in front of a handful of people.

I cannot emphasize, however, that it is unlikely that anyone in court other than the court report, judge, your attorney and you will be paying attention to a word of what is said. In Harris County, for example, you and your attorney will approach the bench and speak to the judge in a conversational tone. Therefore, a person in the first row of courtroom seats will have problems hearing what is happening in your case. The bottom line is that if you are worried about airing your business for all the world to hear then you should be at ease because a Prove Up hearing is not that kind of court appearance.

Closing thoughts on same sex divorce cases

It could be that you never imagined that you would ever get married in your life. Now you are having to contend with the thought of getting a divorce. This cannot be an easy time for you and your family. However, the attorneys and staff with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan are here to tell you that our office will stand with you throughout your case until your process is complete.

If you have any questions about the material that we have covered please consider contacting the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. We offer free of charge consultations six days a week with our licensed family law attorneys. It would be our pleasure to talk with you and to answer your questions and concerns in a comfortable, pressure-free environment.

Curated by Texas Bar Today. Follow us on Twitter @texasbartoday.



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Sex Toys After Divorce? Why Not?!?

Sex Toys After Divorce? Why Not?!?

Sex toys. Things you should incorporate into your sex life for the remainder of your days, married or single.

The post Sex Toys After Divorce? Why Not?!? appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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Q Emails Expose Sex Trafficking Rings to Sacramento Judges and Los Gatos Police Officer Silva

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California Sex Trafficking Rings Tied to Sacramento Judges Matthew Gary and Judge Mize – Chief Justice Tani Cantil Sakauye knew !

From Sacramento’s sleazy Paula Salinger sleeping with Judge Matthew Gary to Judge Mize ripping children from Grandparent’s Q has been overwhelmed with over 200 emails in the past month following a report from the State Auditor claiming state watchdogs have failed to protect the public when it comes to bad judges and lawyers.  Q will begin posting your emails to better connect you in each county, by judge, lawyer , CPS or custody evaluator issue. Please do not put anything in the email that would reveal the litigants or case. Briefly identify your issue. the judge and the lawyers involved. Q is monitoring how self- represented litigants are being treated by family court judges, and is tracking unethical lawyers. Santa Clara , LA. and Orange County are rising in corruption claims. 
If it looks unfair, it probably is. 
If it feels unfair, it probably is. 
If you think your rights have been violated, they probably were. 
If if you think they will stop harming families and children, they won’t , unless they are exposed in the Court of Public Opinion.

If you would like your letters read on a podcast, or YouTube video, please let Q know. 

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Divorce Attorney Elise Mitchell's Private Files Document Blow Jobs to Judges

Santa Clara County Politicians Tied to Sex Trafficking in Family Court Cases

After months of sifting through documents reportedly left at a Catholic high school by Silicon Valley divorce attorney Elise Mitchell it appears  attorneys Heather Allan, Nicole Ford,  BJ Fadem, Jessica Huey, Irwin Joseph, Michael Smith, John Schroder, James Cox and Nat Hales have spent the past 2 decades using a complex money laundering scheme to traffic children through Silicon Valley’s family courthouses.

The enterprise appears to be expanding to Contra Costa, Santa Cruz and Orange Counties through court staff, judges and administrators. 

CAPTURING CHILDREN & MONEY 

The enterprise includes workers from CPS and Family Court Services and  appears to require cooperation from  court appointed experts including  Matthew Sullivan, Leslie Packer, Valerie Houghton, Ken Perlmutter, John Orlando and Michael Kerner. The players are different in every county, but the enterprise is easily detected with assistance of documents and secret recordings parents have been making for decades. 

Leaked documents and  secret recordings made at a ” Power Lunch ” appears to implicate Santa Clara County Supervisor Cindy Chavez who made  comments to local judges and members of the district attorney’s office that indicates she and Supervisor Dave Cortese have full knowledge that that the sex trafficking operation exists in the local courts, and elected judges and politicians are on the take for the enterprise. 

Family courts are often a source of strife in a child’s life. Family Court Services and CPS social workers appear to have  been using divorce and custody cases to identify children who offer the greatest potential for trafficking. These children are then marked by judges who appoint lawyers to assure the children are separated from loving or protective parents. 

At risk children are those whose parents have been involved in divorce or custody cases for more than 3 years. Judges then appoint lawyers to represent children and within a year these lawyers make recommendations to isolate the children from a loving parent. 

Payments recorded in the documents put Judges Stuart Scott, James Towery, Judge Roberta Hayashi, and  Joshua Weinstein at the center of the corruption. Court appointments made by these judges correlate to children being separated from their families, based on reports issued by corrupt custody evaluators . The activity is especially insidious when private judges are appointed to hear these cases. 

Donelle Morgan, Bradford Baugh, Mark Erickson, James Mc Manis, Catherine Bechtel, Jim Hoover, Travis Krepelka and Julia McDowell appear to be charged with assuring payments to private judges are delivered in the form of loan payoffs for personal homes, and real property rentals. 

Once a court appoints a lawyer to represent children, or to act as a private judge, this group of lawyers moves in to sell families homes, and later kickback fees to the private judges from fee awards the private judges make. 

Documents indicate Chavez and Cortese have been getting political contributions and kickbacks where transgender and gay children  are taken from their families in cases where Walter Hammon is involved.  Cortese, who is running for the California State Senate reportedly kept news of pedophile persists from making local headlines, assuring donations to local non- profit news organizations who kill stories that could expose the enterprise. 

Family Court Services staff are heard in the recording talking about how BJ Fadem works behind the scenes to take gay and bisexual children form their families, where they are more vulnerable t0 being trafficked through the local courts. Once the children have been alienated from protected parents, they are easier to get into sex trafficking rings. 

Digging through the documents, and searching titles of local properties parents have found court appointments made by Judge James Towery, Judge Stuart Scott, Judge Roberta  S. Hayashi   and Judge Joshua Weinstein to be the forefront of the trafficking activity, which has been known and supported by Santa Clara County Supervisors Cindy Chavez and Dave Cortese for several years. 

Payments to court appointed experts show that 

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Santa Clara County Politicians Dave Cortese and Cindy Chavez  Tied to Sex Trafficking in Family Court Cases

After months of sifting through documents reportedly left at a Catholic high school by Silicon Valley divorce attorney Elise Mitchell, it appears  attorneys Heather Allan, Nicole Ford,  BJ Fadem, Jessica Huey, Irwin Joseph, Michael Smith, John Schroder, James Cox and Nat Hales have spent the past 2 decades using a complex money laundering scheme to traffic children through Silicon Valley’s family courthouses.  Pedophiles are paying top dollar for white affluent children at the center of a divorce or custody case. Court CEO Rebecca Fleming and David Yamasaki appear to be the linchpin of the operations. 

The enterprise appears to be expanding to Contra Costa, Santa Cruz and Orange Counties through court staff, judges and administrators. 

CAPTURING CHILDREN & MONEY LAUNDERING 

By  including   workers from CPS and Family Court Services, and gaining   cooperation from  court appointed experts including  Matthew Sullivan, Leslie Packer, Valerie Houghton, Ken Perlmutter, John Orlando and Michael Kerner, the enterprise has thrived for the past two decades. 

The players are different in every county, but the enterprise is easily detected with the assistance of documents and secret recordings parents have been collecting over the past three years. 

Secret recordings made at a recent  ” Power Lunch ” appear to implicate Santa Clara County Supervisor Cindy Chavez, Dave Cortese and employees in the DA’s office in RICO activity that sells children to abusers and pedophiles, White children raised in Silicon Valley’s elite neighborhoods bring as much as $1 million to the enterprise in the form of cash and loan payoffs on real estate transactions. Attorney Sharon Roper has recently been selling properties as a temporary judge in a manner that has poured over $100 million dollars into the enterprise to strengthen and expand the operation.   

Family courts are often a source of strife in a child’s life. Family Court Services and CPS social workers appear to have  been using divorce and custody cases to identify children with the potential for being trafficked without detection. High conflict custody cases often lead to children ” running away” , or so the public is told. In fact these children are taken in through religious organizations, or non- profits assured funding by local politicians, only to disappear as a ” nanny” or child needing placement in foster care managed by the county. 

Payments recorded in leaked documents put Judges Stuart Scott, James Towery, Judge Roberta Hayashi, and  Joshua Weinstein at the center of the corruption. Court appointments made by these judges correlate to cases where parents are placed on supervised visitation, children are sent to reunification camps, and foster care programs are introduced once children have been isolated from ” problematic parents”. 

Judges are issuing Domestic Violence Restraining Orders to keep these parents permanently from their  own children. These orders often label a parent as ” abusive ” or ” crazy” to justify the orders.  

The Mitchell documents tie divorce and custody cases to the enterprise, where judges  appoint lawyers to represent children,  or act as private judges,  where the enterprise can be further secreted.  The documents show Judge Joshua Weinstein has been issuing appointments directly and indirectly as he prepares to leave the bench and go into private judging where other judges will regular appoint him to divorce and custody cases with the most money, real estate and children.  The Mitchell documents appear to indicate that in the average middle class divorce case minor’s counsel are assured appointments with $10,000 retainers, and private judges earn up to $200,000 in fees. 

Buyers of the children appear to be hiring young women to work as  a nanny, and young boys are promised scholarships and internships as a cover. In fact these children have reported they are essentially groomed to perform sex acts.

One young woman described her experiences  in family court where she was told her protective mother was alienating her from her father. The father then got fully custody and went on to  rape his own daughter  several times a week. When she tried to go to doctors or teachers for help, she was returned to her father.

The lawyer appointed to represent this women during  her parent’s divorce case,  only met with the young client once, but continued to represent to the court the girl did not want to see her mother.  The girl repeatedly heard her father on the phone with the lawyer demanding recommendations to the court that would maintain his custody position.

The young woman  noted that her brother was sent to live with a man who suddenly gave her father a home after the family home had been sold in the divorce to pay all the lawyers. The girl was told her brother was ” working ” for a Silicon Valley tech executive, she has had no contact with him for the past five years. 

The Mitchell documents indicate affluent white children bring millions to judges, lawyers and others acting in Silicon Valley’s family courts.

Local politicians know what this sex trafficking enterprise is doing and refuses to act in order to assure their reelection. Dave Cortese, a Santa Clara County supervisor  is running for California’s state senate in 2020. Mr. Cortese has reportedly been told he will have the powerful support of the Catholic church and support of the state’s judges in return for his silence. 

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Divorce Attorney Elise Mitchell's Private Files Document Blow Jobs to Judges

Reporters: Catholic Church Settlements Link  Family Courts to Child Abuse Sex Scandals and Sex Trafficking Rings Paid By Sales of Family Homes

As mothers, fathers and gangs of reporters continue to sift through private settlements made by the Catholic Church to protect priests who had sexually abused children for decades, a startling link has been discovered that connects judges and family law attorneys to sex trafficking and pedophile rings where children are taken from their families during high conflict divorce cases from California to South Carolina.

Papers and secret sources indicate Judge Peter McBrien reportedly used the prestige of his office to traffic children in Sacramento’s family courts through an orphanage known as Sacramento Children’s Home, but McBrien didn’t stop there, He used his contacts in Napa, Contra Costa, Orange and Santa Clara County to refer families to private judge cases where secret proceedings resulted in lawyers using high asset divorce cases to legally terminate custody of protective parents. These legal proceedings, often held in lawyer offices appear to result in children being sent to live with abusive parents who control their every move and prohibit communication with the parent who sought to expose abuse.

Settlement papers connected to St. Mary’s church in Gilroy California show children were placed in the county’s orphanage describe horrific abuses of drugging, and financially destroying children who were reportedly taken from Child Protective Services (CPS) or from families divorcing in Santa Clara and San Benito Counties. Attorneys Richard Roggia, James Cox and Sharon Roper’s names appear connected to some of the most horrific abuses.

These papers also reveal that in  San Mateo and Santa Clara Counties attorney Bradford Baugh, Lynne Yates Carter, Elise Mitchell, Joseph Russoniello , Hector Moreno and Donelle Morgan appear to be  connected to an auto body shop that was trafficking young immigrant women from Sweden and Italy to act as  “nannies” for Silicon Valley tech executives engaging in some of the worst child and sex abuse cases in the state. 

Funding for the trafficking and child abuse enterprises appears to be coming from the conversation of family home and business equity that is being funneled through California’s family courts and Catholic Church “donations”. 

In Los Gatos. California papers indicate attorneys Walter Hammon, Rebekah Frye  and Catherine Gallagher have been using connections to the local judiciary and powerful real estate developers to raise money through donations made to St. Mary’s and Shir Hadash that have gone to fund supervised visitation centers, reunification camps and unlicensed non- profit groups to brainwash children in order to isolate them from families who could protect them. 

Ten years after the Catholic Church sex abuse scandal broke on the front pages of the Boston Globe, the full extent of harm inflicted on children through the nation’s churches , synagogues and family courts continues to be secreted by lawyers and judges who knew and who allowed these horrific crimes against children to continue. 

Lawyers names associated with these settlements are now being redacted and reviewed in a manner that would allow children and parents to collect monetary awards, which many describe as insufficient given the stolen innocence these lawyers, judges, politicians and religious leaders took as they sought only to profit and advance their own careers. 

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MILFs Expose Judges & Morgan Hill Lawyer Laura Perry in  Silicon Valley  Guns & Sex Trafficking Ring

Sex Trafficking, Drugs & Guns In Silicon Valley Divorces

Morgan Hill attorney Laura Perry just tied Morgan Hill’s most nefarious MILFs and a  criminal enterprise trafficking teenage girls, guns and designer drugs through the county’s foster care system and local family courts. 

Taxpayers and Victims determined to remove Santa Clara County District Attorney Jeff Rosen and Judge James Towery from the county payroll, found divorce cases linked to the Morgan Hill  office of Laura Perry that tie south county to court corruption that  has resulted in the  separating of  families and trafficking young wealthy women whose parents ended up in the courtrooms of Judge Patricia Lucas, James Towery, Christopher Rudy, Mary Arand, Stuart Scott, Theodore Zayner and Mark Pierce. during their divorce or civil cases connected to  Silicon Valley start ups, real estate  and tech businesses. 

The criminal enterprise apparently operates in divorce cases where judges appoint lawyers for children, or to act as private judges. Heather Allan, Rebekah Frye,  BJ Fadem, Jessica Huey, Richard Roggia, Hector Moreno, Walter Hammon and Bradford Baugh are the core lawyers working to use domestic violence and mental health claims against former spouses that  separate children from their parents and find many of these children fleeing the area, or ending up in the county’s  foster care program. 

Once children are in these programs, a local Standing Order allows county employees to order medical procedures and drugs for children without parental consent. Slowly these kids are placed on dangerous prescription medications where mind altering effect make these children more susceptible to becoming high school dropouts, gang members and run always, or worse, to be picked up into sex, gun and drug trafficking rings where the children easily vanish from their communities and are written off as part of their parent’s nasty divorce cases. 

An audit of Santa Clara County  family court orders show a core group of judges routinely issuing  orders for medical treatments, supervised visitation centers  and detention centers where they hold a financial interest. 

Judges currently earn $180- 220,000 in Santa Clara courts, a fraction of what is needed to live a middle class lifestyle in Silicon  Valley. This pay gap as left judges ripe for corruption, kickbacks and sex favors, many of which are provided through an elaborate network of lawyers, court reporters and bailiffs. 

Perry is also linked to gun runners and abusers operating out of Gilroy, Morgan Hill and San Martin where a  couple known as “Heidi and Scott” have reportedly become known as the South County homewreckers. This couple goes in to troubled marriages through elaborate dating schemes played out on Match.com, Instagram and Facebook. The couple sets out to have affairs with couples in troubled marriages ultimately bringing  in Laura Perry and other area lawyers willing to suck community property into the criminal enterprise that continues to thrive in Silicon Valley. An enterprise  fueled by the most famous names in tech and social media.  

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MLFs Expose Judges & Morgan Hill Lawyer Laura Perry in  Silicon Valley  Guns & Sex Trafficking Ring

Sex Trafficking, Drugs & Guns In Silicon Valley Divorces

Morgan Hill attorney Laura Perry just tied Morgan Hill’s most nefarious MLF, Heidi Vlf, to a criminal enterprise trafficking teenage girls, guns and designer drugs through the county’s foster care system and local family courts. 

Taxpayers and Victims determined to remove Santa Clara County District Attorney and Judge James Towery from the county payroll, found divorce files in the offices of Laura Perry that link south county to court corruption that is separating families and trafficking young wealthy women whose parents ended up in the courtrooms of Judge Patricia Lucas, James Towery, Christopher Rudy, Mary Arand, Stuart Scott, Theodore Zayner and Mark Pierce. during their divorce or civil cases involving Silicon Valley start ups and tech businesses. 

The criminal enterprise apparently operates in divorce cases where judges appoint lawyers for children, or to act as private judges. Heather Allan, Rebekah Frye,  BJ Fadem, Jessica Huey, Bradford Baugh, Walter Hammon and Bradford Baugh are the core lawyers working to use domestic violence to separate children from their parents and into the county’s foster care program. 

Once children are in these programs, the county’s local Standing Order allow county employees to order medical procedures and drugs for children without parental consent. 

An audit of family court orders show these judges routinely issue orders for medical treatments, supervised visitation centers  and detention centers where they hold a financial interest. 

Judges currently earn $180- 220,000 in Santa Clara, a fraction of what is needed to live a middle class lifestyle in Silicon  Valley. This pay gap as left judges rip for corruption, kickbacks and sex favors. 

Perry is also linked to gun runners and abusers operating out of Gilroy, Morgan Hill and San Martin.  A couple known as “Heidi and Scott” have reportedly been running guns from barns and outbuildings in Santa Clara’s most rural areas using homeless and mentally ill populations to hide the gun, drug and sex trafficking activity. 

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