If you haven’t learned by now, then it is time you know, the healthy way to deal with stress is to communicate about the issues that are causing the stress. This is true regardless of what age a person is. Your child may be feeling anger, fear or sadness, and unsafe when it comes to expressing those feelings.
The post Children and Divorce: 3 Tips for Positive Communication During Divorce appeared first on Divorce Magazine.
The process of dividing marital property during divorce begins with taking an inventory of all you, as a couple, have acquired during the marriage. Anything you owned before the marriage and anything inherited during the marriage will not count as marital property.
I’ve seen myself fall into an existential trap that my own mother wallowed in for the most of her life. She was a kind and industrious woman, but she could also be unbearably clingy. Above all else – she demanded attention. While I was a youngster, I used to tell myself that I will never turn into that person, but you know how your parent’s own pattern of behavior tends to creep up when you least expect it.
I used to be crushed by sadness when my own children forgot to, for the lack of a better expression, shower me with attention on birthdays and anniversaries, and I had to jump through serious hoops until I really accepted that happiness comes from within.
Here are 5 efficient self-care tips for all of you moms out there.
1. Adopt the right mindset by asking the right question
As it has already been established in the introduction, happiness comes from within, which means that you should rely on yourself to find the most opportune and enjoyable ways to celebrate a particular holiday that pertains to you. Remember, it is not about date or tradition. The date is merely an excuse for self-pampering, and it should be treated as such. The question you should be asking is NOT: ‘What sort of surprises do my kids have in store for me?’ but ‘What can I do on this day to make my week more enjoyable?’ By asking the right questions, I learned how to self-indulge in ways I previously unimaginable. Mindset is everything.
2. Organize a day of hearty meals
Good nutrition is the foundation of health. Therefore, you can exploit the holiday to organize a day of hearty meals for yourself (the presence of other family members is optional) and relish in banquets in restaurants that you always yearn to visit yet rarely have time for it. Instead of kicking the day off with a toast and a cup of coffee, have a fruit-laden breakfast with vegan-carrot cake and top it off with an espresso. Why not?! Embark on a culinary adventure and try out dishes that you never tasted before. It is all about you, at least for the day.
3. You’ll never regret investing in your hobby
The entire goal of a hobby is the combination of enjoyment and self-improvement. Therefore, any investment into a hobby is a form of self-care, and there is hardly a better way to treat yourself than to purchase something that will encourage you to continue that pursuit. The hobby might be something creative – like painting, and you can ‘arm yourself’ with a new set of brushes or color palettes. If it is a hobby that entails exercise, like running or swimming, a cool water-resistant triathlon watch is a quality investment. A useful gift is always better than a mere trinket, and it can represent an important part of your self-care lifestyle.
4. Rejuvenate your self-care style
Open the browser and begin the selection of local spa centers until you’ve narrowed it down to top-3 for services such as beauty treatment, massage, and sauna. A full day of rejuvenating treatments may just be the best sort of reward you can get, and you can encourage your family members to chip-in. Here, we get to another positive mindset you need to adopt – you have a full right to ‘shamelessly’ remind your kids and your partner that a Mother’s Day or your birthday is upon them and that they might as well do something about it. If they have forgotten about it, it doesn’t mean that they don’t care, and most of them will gladly contribute.
5. Alone in the outdoors
Finally, one of the greatest self-care habits you can embrace is the stroll through the closest natural reserve. Savor the scents of opulent nature and have a meditative walk alone to replenish your energy wells. Did you know that 30 minutes a day in nature does wonder for your immunity? Going wild in the outdoors is an amazing way to add a dash of adventure to your life.
The post 5 Efficient Self-Care Tips: Pamper Yourself In All The Right Ways appeared first on Divorced Moms.
Spring is a time for growth, re-birth, renewal and the blossoming of new beauty. I would like to personally offer my best wishes for a happy, love-filled Mother’s Day to all the moms who are embarking upon their new journey as a single mother.
Is this a scary and overwhelming time?
Absolutely but not today; today we focus on the beauty. The beauty of possibility, change, motherhood and most importantly, the beauty of you!
The first Mother’s Day following your divorce or separation is likely met with some mixed emotions; most of them probably not all that positive. Mine certainly were. I found myself missing our old traditions, and I had taken for granted that my husband had historically planned the day for me.
Now, like everything else in my life, I had to take matters into my own hands and figure it out. From my personal experience and some trial and error, I offer you, moms, the following tips to help make your Mother’s Day special.
Mother’s Day Tips for the Freshly Divorced
1. Buy yourself a gift!
You deserve it! How liberating that this year, you don’t have to drop not-so-subtle hints for weeks in preparation, to only wonder whether you were not-so-subtle enough. Now, you get to buy exactly what you want and you know that the gift is coming from someone who truly appreciates all that you are. Have it gift wrapped if you’re the kind of girl who loves ripping off the paper. In fact, even if you’re not, get it wrapped anyways. You would be surprised how good it feels to rip that paper!!
2. Ask your kids how they would like to celebrate Mother’s Day.
Even if your kids are young, this is a great way to get them involved in the planning and it can really help to make both you and your kids feel special. You may have other family obligations on this day, but really do carve out a little time for just you and your kids to do something all your own, that you plan together. It could be as simple as taking a walk or participating in an activity that you love to do together. This is YOUR special time and it’s meant to be cherished and enjoyed.
3. Throw out Expectations of your ex!
Go into this day with zero expectations. While perhaps easier said than done, toss out any nostalgia about how it used to be. Whether your ex acknowledges your special day or not, don’t hold on to any hope or thought that he will or should. This can lead to disappointment and hurt, which quite frankly, you have no room for on YOUR day. You don’t need anyone acknowledging all that you do (though admittedly it’s a very nice feeling). All we have to do is look at our children to be reassured that we’re doing a great job.
Some days we may come up short of doing our best, but we always try, and that’s what you should celebrate this Mother’s Day. Focus on your wins, no matter how small they may feel in the moment, a win is a win!
So as you embark upon this fresh new road ahead and start to build your tracks, trail blaze into this Sunday with no road map, no history, and no expectations. See where the day takes you. Out of challenge comes strength and this Spring, embrace the blossoming new beauty that is you. Happy Mother’s Day!
A great way to move on after a split is to plan a stress-free vacation after divorce, whether you go by yourself or with your children. Before you take off, though, there are some important things to keep in mind to make your trip as stress-free as possible.
For single moms, saving up enough money to take a vacation with their kids can be a challenge when they’re working to support their household on just one income. While it’s important to create memories and escape the daily routine, often times single moms don’t have the extra money to spend on fun and travel. Below are a few tips we put together for single moms on how to provide great memories for their children while remaining on a budget.
Single Mom Vacation Tips
1. Savings Goals & Realistic Travel:
It has been my experience that when I save for a specific goal, I’m more successful. Instead of saving for a “vacation someday” try saving for a “3 day weekend trip to the beach two months from now.” Your children will most likely want to get away from home at least once this summer, so start looking into affordable vacation spot a few months in advance as prices are cheaper the further in advance you book. This gives you plenty of time to start putting money away for your much needed time away with your children.
2. Take Advantage of Online Deals:
In today’s digital world, getting deals on travel has never been easier. When it comes to places to stay you can take advantage of deals that are published by the multiple online or limited deal sites such as Groupon GetAways or Amazon Local. You can book a place to stay on AirBnB or you could partner up with another single mom to vacation together giving you a way to share the costs and have a little adult interaction while on vacation.
3. Create a Budget:
Figure out how much you will need to save towards taking a vacation, and have the money taken directly out of your paycheck and transferred into a separate savings account. I personally love using Mint.com for this, and the best part is, it’s free!
There are also a bunch of other savings apps that have popped up recently such as Digit that helps you save by taking out money based on your spending. Another free app is my app SupportPay, which helps you track the expenses around your children so you can easily see where your money is going and give you the information you need to reduce spending.
Websites and apps like these allow you to save for your vacation without having to think about it. Be sure to check in on your accounts every so often though to make sure you are staying on budget so there are no surprises when you want to take your vacation.
4. Start a Change Jar:
Pinterest has some cute ideas to decorate change jars. Some people like to save all of their change, and some prefer to save dollar bills only. Figure out what works best for you, and make it a habit to set aside the extra cash every chance you get. To encourage your kids to get involved, make a game out of collecting extra change by setting goals or rules that cost money when broken. Setting family goals that your children can participate in is a great way to teach them the value of a dollar, and how to save for activities they want to participate in.
5. Give Something Up:
If you want to get really serious about saving for a vacation, giving up something for a month or two can really make your savings account balance grow quickly. You could give up eating out for a month, not going to the movies, not buying new clothes for one month, take a cable TV break, etc. Also, you can take advantage of the sharing economy by renting items you aren’t using or you could rent out your items and make some money on items sitting around the house.
Sell Unused or Unwanted Items:
If you’ve got a little spare time on your hands, spend a couple of hours and take a quick tour of your house, pulling out all the outgrown clothing, toys, electronics, and movies that you no longer need. There have recently been several apps that have launched that make it really easy to sell your items. For example, Letgo, thredUp, and Decluttr are apps that enable you to take a picture and quickly post your item for sale. Of course, you can always have a garage sale, this could make you money and help you meet your neighbors.
Being a single mom isn’t easy but with a little planning and some creative ways to save money or make a little extra, you can give your kids the vacation memories they want with the money you have.
As you navigate the process, the following suggestions may assist you in making it a bit more graceful.
The post How to Have a Good Divorce: Tips to Help You Through the Process appeared first on Divorce Magazine.
The best way to help children to adjust to your move after a divorce, is to inform him or her that you’ll do your best to keep your relationship the same. Also, reassure them of your love and devotion and say that you’ll visit as often as possible.
The post Tips to Connect With Kids Long Distance After Divorce appeared first on Divorce Magazine.