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Let’s Talk Divorce: Toxic Men: Are You a Narcissist Magnet?

Let’s Talk Divorce: Toxic Men: Are You a Narcissist Magnet?

 

Do you seem to go from one toxic relationship to another?

Have you ever asked yourself, “Is there something wrong with me that makes me a target for narcissistic, toxic men?”

The answer is maybe and no!

There is NOTHING wrong with you but, you may have qualities and traits that make you attractive to narcissistic and toxic men. Like moths to a flame, these men flutter around you waiting for an opening.

These qualities and traits give the narcissist a foot in the door and leave you wide open for their manipulations.

5 Traits that Attract Narcissistic, Toxic Men

You’re trusting

You’re trusting with everyone from the get-go. People don’t have to earn your trust, you readily give it until proven it hasn’t been earned. Narcissists use this to their advantage.

You treat others with respect and expect the same in return

It is in your nature to treat others the way you wish to be treated. The narcissist returns this treatment during the love-bombing phase. They use it to reel you in and get you so emotionally invested that once the disrespect begins, you’re in too deep to extract yourself from the relationship.

You love unconditionally

You love unconditionally

In fact, you love to a fault! You may be in love with the idea of love.

Narcissists use this against you after the love bombing period. They know that no matter what they deprive you of in the relationship, you’re going to continue to love them.

You’re empathetic and compassionate

These traits make it easy for you to make excuses for the narc’s bad behavior. You make excuses for the narc based on his “victim” stories. He was molested by a priest, he was emotionally abandoned by his mother. And on and on. Being empathetic, instead of holding him accountable for bad behavior, you hold his mother or that priest accountable. You believe that love, your love, will heal those old wounds and he’ll become the person he was during the love-bombing phase again.

You have trouble setting boundaries

You fear setting boundaries because you fear abandonment. With family, friends, coworkers and romantic relationships, you allow people to take advantage of you. Due to this, you are easily manipulated by the narcissist, toxic man.

You know how you should be treated, you just fear vocalizing it.

The post Let’s Talk Divorce: Toxic Men: Are You a Narcissist Magnet? appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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The Easiest Way To Identify Toxic People

The Easiest Way To Identify Toxic People

 

Discover the easiest and most powerful way to keep yourself safe from toxic people.

For anyone who has been narcissistically abused, especially if you are terrified of it happening again, this information is invaluable.

In this first Thriver TV episode for 2020, I want to explain to you how to ensure that the people you connect with in your life are healthy, rather than toxic.

As well as exactly how to achieve this!

 

 

Video Transcript

Welcome to 2020 and I hope that you have had a wonderful holiday break.

For our first Thriver TV episode this year I want to help you create an abuse-free year and life going forward.

If you have been able to leave the narcissist in your life and you feel fearful of connecting with toxic people in the future, I really want you to know – toxic people who are effective at being toxic are not immediately recognisable.

The ones that aren’t high functioning can be easy to detect. They could be overtly inappropriate, arrogant and quite frankly dysfunctional. These generally are the ones who are not the most dangerous.

Toxic people who are very capable of infiltrating people’s lives and smashing them to pieces are not like this, they are generally consummate actors who are extremely good at winning people’s trust and hearts.

So how do you identify those people?

In today’s video, I’m going to explain to you exactly how you will not only suspect these people but flush them out in a way that keeps you totally safe.

But, before I do, I want to thank all of you who have supported the Thriver Mission by subscribing to my channel. If you haven’t yet subscribed, I’d like to remind you to please do so. And, if you enjoy this episode, please give it a thumbs up.

Okay so let’s take a deep dive into how to identify toxic people.

 

Are You an Injured Gazelle or a Robust Bison?

You may wonder what animals have to do with this. As an analogy, they can explain a lot regarding how a narcissist targets an individual.

My analogy regarding an injured gazelle is this: it is a person who has gaps, who has susceptibilities to being ensnared and taken down by a predator.

Whereas, an individual who is a robust bison is too solid and anchored in its integrity, in its own body and energy, to be susceptible.

Please note it simply is not true that anybody can get abused by a narcissist.

Let me explain.

If you are feeling empty on the inside and carrying previous hurts that you haven’t yet reconciled, you can be as susceptible to a charming con-person coming into your life pretending to be the saviour of your emptiness, fears, or what is missing, as you would be to diving into a mirage if you were dying of thirst in the desert.

I promise you that I’m not saying this to victim shame you. I am saying this to help empower you, just as this total understanding about myself and my own life helped me awaken to understand that I did have power in these situations and that I had handed it away.

I now know as a recovered and Thriving individual – when you take personal responsibility to heal and resolve your previous traumas, and accept the gift of your own evolution and have become a solid emotional source to yourself, then there is no need for you to let people come into your life immediately.

You will take your time to get to know them, and assess their character before merging with them in ways that puts your heart, emotions, body and even resources on the line.

If a narcissist cannot find a way to infiltrate your life and snare you as a source of narcissistic supply to start mining your energy and resources quickly, it’s not worth the effort. There is much easier prey to target and feed on.

It truly is up to us to heal ourselves up from being an injured gazelle with a limp at the edge of a pack to becoming a robust bison who will never be a target.

Now let’s examine how this works in regard to identifying a toxic person.

 

By Being Yourself Powerfully You Repel Toxic People

The true way that you will recognise whether someone is toxic or not, before it is too late, is because you simply don’t want to play with them, or they leave your experience because they can’t get you to.

What I mean by this is the following: you will be anchored in your integrity, unafraid to ask the difficult questions if something doesn’t feel right, you will be able to speak up and lay boundaries and say ‘no’ if something feels uncomfortable for you.

Also, and above all, by standing in your rights, by taking your time to get to know somebody before letting them into your heart, body, bed, finances, and home, you will see behaviour that is ‘off’ in regard to a toxic person.

They may try to test your boundaries to see if you really mean them. They may have conversations with you that are not respectful about allowing you to be a solid, mature individual taking your time.

Narcissists cannot stand not getting the instant hit of narcissistic supply. They need to escape their own tormented energy at every opportunity by entering into and enmeshing with, and then draining, somebody else’s.

If a narcissist can’t get you to ignore your boundaries, hand over your rights and the bounty that he or she is after very quickly, they may try to guilt you into it. They may bait you, threaten you with abandonment, or appeal to you by claiming that you are making a terrible mistake and risk losing a golden opportunity by taking your time.

If you have healed yourself up to become a solid, mature, adult human being in your own body, you will know that this is baloney. And there is no way that you will capitulate to it.

It is then that the narcissist will unravel and just disappear.

It’s game over. You have asserted your True Self and True Life that the toxic person is no match for and therefore as per Quantum Law – so within, so without – this person simply cannot be in your experience, and won’t be.

Does it even matter whether or not you identify that this person is a toxic individual and that you have dodged a bullet?

No!

You are simply living your life powerfully and authentically from the inside out.

If you haven’t yet healed your original traumas and unmet wounds that are not allowing you to be a whole individual integrated in your own body healthily, then you may mistake this as you being abandoned, or unworthy of this person.

Or maybe you obsess that it is something that you have done wrong, and you should have let your boundaries down, rather than risk losing them. Maybe you will now go after this person and reel them back in.

Can you see how important it is to do the essential inner work on yourself so that you are no longer susceptible to handing away your power and betraying your own values and truths and putting yourself in grave danger with a sociopath?

I hope so, because the understanding I just shared with you is everything.

 

The Truth About Identifying Toxic People

The truth is that you can’t identify toxic people in a way that will keep you safe because your focus on them is not the way to achieve this.

If you haven’t as yet turned inwards to discover what your gaps are and what you need to heal within yourself, no matter what you try to learn about toxic people in order to remain safe from them, they will identify your gaps, charm you and infiltrate your life, just as they have always done to people.

The deeper truth is this, toxic people come into our lives as the real outer life evidence of our already unmet, unhealed existing inner wounds. The reason that these people come into our real-life experience, is so that our unconscious traumas can become conscious, so that finally we can turn inwards, meet them, release them and go free from them.

It’s a much better, healthier and more fulfilling system if we realise the truth about this, and self-partner to do the work that we’ve always needed to do. That way, no longer will we be the injured gazelle with a limp at the edge of the pack, or a ripe target for a predator looking to steal our soul, energy and life.

So, here is the truth – you are not going to identify toxic people.

It’s actually impossible.

Rather, you are simply going to ascertain and work with the only being that you are able to control – yourself. Then you will become healthy and whole and powerfully magnificently impervious to toxic people.

Do you understand this?

If so, write below, ‘I am going to heal and become magnificently impervious to them!’

It’s Time To Become Impervious.

I know that in all of my episodes I am really saying the same thing, over and over, just in different ways.

But I have a feeling that this particular episode may really finally hit home for you!

If this is the case, then you may be ready to do the inner work to clean up your previous traumas and gaps, to leave behind your abuse patterns and fear of abusers forever.

And I mean forever!

If it is your time, and there is no time other than now … then come with me, heal and start becoming another Thriver in this incredible community, by joining my revolutionary healing program the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program – NARP, by clicking this link.

And, if you like this video please give it a thumbs up and make sure that you are subscribed to my channel so that you will be notified as soon as each new video is released.

And as always, I am so looking forward to answering your comments and your questions below.

 

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forgiveness after a toxic marriage

Forgiveness After a Toxic Marriage: Here’s Why It’s Important

forgiveness after a toxic marriage

 

“There is no future without forgiveness.” Desmond Tutu

The single most important step you must take in order to move on after divorce is to forgive. 

Over the course of your marriage, things must have been said and done by both yourself and your husband that were hurtful and toxic.

Hanging on to these hurts will perpetuate their destructive effect, unless and until they are released.

Hanging on to past hurts is like strapping an anchor to your neck and dragging it wherever you go.

Unforgiveness will bring you down and prevent you from rising up to your highest potential. It will deprive you of the peace that you need to create a happy life.

You won’t be able to start over with a clean slate if you’re still obsessed with the wrongs of the past.

When you forgive, you release yourself from the bondage of blame and resentment and break free from the spell past hurts have placed on you. 

Forgiveness is freedom from judgment, ill feelings, and being “right” at the expense of being happy.

Sometimes we adopt a posture of righteous indignation because we mistakenly believe that not forgiving the other person makes him or her the bad guy while making us the victim, the nice guy. We feel morally superior.

But being unforgiving doesn’t make you good and the other person bad. It makes you unhappy! The other person can very well go on with his or her life untouched by your anger and hatred.

Remember, you deserve to be happy. So, tap on the power of forgiveness to set yourself free.

You need to forgive your husband for every wrong, real or perceived.

Yes, every single one of them. You need to forgive yourself for all the things you regret associated with your marriage and in every area of your life.

You need to forgive every person who, in your opinion, contributed to the breakdown of your marriage. That includes friends, relatives, in-laws, even “the other woman.”

This is hard stuff, I know, and don’t get mad at me for saying so. But as hard as this may be, it is essential to your happiness.  Release the charge. Stop thinking about it, or at least think about it with neutral feelings.

We are often unwilling to forgive because we assume that forgiving turns us into doormats. That forgiving is condoning offensive behaviors. That, by forgiving, we are making them acceptable. We are enabling the perpetrator. We are inviting more of the same.

But that isn’t true.

Forgiving is not about condoning bad behaviors, especially forgiveness after a toxic marriage.

Some behaviors, abusive ones, in particular, are wrong and unacceptable, and should never be tolerated.

Those behaviors may have given you good reasons to end your marriage. But they do not justify ending your peace and depriving yourself of the happiness that is your birthright.

Forgiveness opens the door to a life of freedom and possibility.

Forgiveness makes room in your heart to allow love to flow in.

Maybe you’re not comfortable forgiving because you fear it makes you seem weak.

To the contrary, forgiving is empowering, because it dissolves the grip past hurts have over you. It allows you to face your vulnerabilities and gives you the opportunity to heal and dissolve them.

When you hang on to past hurts and resentments, you are giving your power away.

Holding on to resentment actually poisons you. It keeps you bound to the person you badly want out of your life.

Every time you think about the hurtful event, you are allowing it to continue hurting you over and over again, even after the conduct has stopped.

Some people hang on to hurts that happened long ago, by people who may no longer be alive. Who do you think is hurt by the unforgiveness? Not the dead guy, for sure!

You are not alone.

We have all been hurt, often by people we love. By people, we thought loved us. And we have to process feelings of betrayal as well.

Perhaps you have endured vicious behaviors that were totally uncalled for. You may think you have been inflicted the unforgivable. I understand.

I am not trying to minimize your pain, but open your mind to the possibility that other people have endured horrifying experiences, even worse than yours, and have found it in their hearts to forgive. Through forgiveness, these people have achieved freedom, and inspire us to allow the power of forgiveness to heal our deepest wounds.

Louise Hay had been sexually abused as a child. Yet, she turned her painful experiences into an occasion to heal herself and to help others heal through a lifetime of inspiring works. Likewise, Immaculee Ilibagiza, in her book “Left to Tell: Discovering God in the Midst of the Rwandan Holocaust,” shares her stirring story on achieving freedom through forgiveness, after her family members were murdered by friends and neighbors during the genocide in Rwanda in the 1990s.

Their examples underscore how forgiveness can serve you.

Forgiveness doesn’t stop with your husband. Also, forgive yourself. The past is over and done. You cannot change it, but you can choose again. Learn your lessons and be the better person from it.

Consider incorporating a forgiveness practice into your life.

It will support you as you examine your relationship, decide whether to leave or stay and start your life anew, with or without your husband. It will pay dividends in every area of your life and will enable you to enjoy better relationships and a serene existence.

If you’re not sure how to go about it, there is plenty of help available. The subject is so vast and complex that you could fill a whole library with books about forgiveness. There are lots of amazing teachers, all of them courageously sharing their personal stories and unique forgiveness techniques. Find one that resonates with you. Or feel free to create techniques of your own if you can’t find one that is right for you.

My favorite book on the subject is “Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything” by Iyanla Vanzant. This fabulous little book comes with a built-in, 21-day workbook and includes a CD with guided meditation exercises for every day of your forgiveness journey. By day 14, I felt considerably lighter and more peaceful.

I have also found inspiration in Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life,” as well as Colin Tipping’s “Radical Forgiveness: Making Room for the Miraclewww.amazon.com/Radical-Forgiveness-Miracle-Tipping-Paperback/dp/B00OX8BXFG.”

You can also join forgiveness support groups at a local church or online.

The key is to allow the power of forgiveness to release you from the wounds of the past and pave the way for a brighter future.

If You’re Not Ready to Forgive Yet

Maybe your spouse or others have engaged in very damaging behaviors that you need to process. Perhaps your emotions are still too raw, and you are not yet ready to forgive. Be kind to yourself and honor your feelings.

Forgiveness requires you to be ready and receptive. You may want to wait until the heat is off, the dust settles and you are out of the emotional danger zone. That is perfectly okay.

Take baby steps down the road to forgiveness. Louise Hay taught that you can start by being willing to forgive. Take the first step now and get ready for a life in which your husband’s misdeeds are not even worthy of a passing thought.

Now you’re ready to begin anew. Rebuild your life on a clean slate with the power of forgiveness.

Note: Excerpt adapted from the book Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist? by Sonia Frontera.

The post Forgiveness After a Toxic Marriage: Here’s Why It’s Important appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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toxic people

Want To Feel Better? Then Stop Hanging Around Toxic People

toxic people

 

When you’re working to get your confidence back and build boundaries after divorce, there is one “hiding in plain sight” barrier that will keep you from reaching your goals.

And that’s surrounding yourself with toxic people.

You know *exactly* who these toxic people are…

  • The pushy one with unsolicited advice that makes you doubt your decisions
  • The catty one with snide comments and back-handed compliments
  • The one who blames you and makes herself the victim when you call her out on her BS.

Sound like anyone you know? 

Is this a sister? Your mother? Your adult daughter? That “friend” who says she’s “only trying to help you?”

Literally every woman deals with these jerks on the daily. And his/her comments are so hurtful because they know which button of yours to push. They’ve known you for a long-ass time, and know your sore spots, triggers, and vulnerabilities.

That’s why one of their comments can leave you devastated for days.

The secret about toxic people in your life…

100% of that criticism has nothing to do with you. She is projecting her own insecurities onto you she’s not taking responsibility for her own issues.

Remember the time your sister said, “that dress looks a little snug on you, don’t you think?” although she knew you were counting calories and going to yoga three times a week?

She’s guaranteed stepped on the scale that morning and was 12 pounds heavier after that cruise.

Remember that time you got that promotion at work and instead of congratulating you, your mother said, “Oh, so I guess that means you’ll be spending even less time with your kids.”

Like, WTF?!

She guaranteed is feeling resentful that she stepped down from her job to stay full-time with her children and didn’t go back into the workplace.

What to do About Toxic People

So, what do you want to do about her? 

Continue to let them walk all over you, saying “that’s just her.” This option is risky because you put yourself at risk of continued frustration and hurt feelings.

Stand up for yourself. This doesn’t have to look like a Jerry Springer fight. But it takes courage.

“Hey (insert person’s name), it really hurts my feelings when you do/say (insert harmful action here). I would ask that you keep those comments to yourself.

“Hey (insert person’s name). I notice that you’re always commenting or giving me unsolicited advice on my divorce/looks/weight/recovery/insert whatever they’re always commenting on. I would ask that you don’t do that anymore, at least until I specifically ask for your advice.”

So, a quick heads-up when you stand up for yourself. If the person has any amount of emotional intelligence, they may take a step back and say, “Oh, wow.. Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad,” or something along the lines of that. 

Or…they may get defensive and turn it on you. They may say, “I’m only trying to help you. If you don’t want my honest opinion, then fine.” And then they might stomp away or hang up the phone or stonewall you or some other 5-year-old-at-the-playground nonsense.

If that reaction occurs, that is a HUGE RED FLAG that maybe this relationship is unhealthy. This ain’t the end of the world–it’s just an opportunity to set up healthy boundaries.

Oh, and I get you may not just be able to walk away from that person so easily. She might be a relative or close friend.

But remember–being related to someone DOES NOT give them carte blanche to treat you like poorly.

It takes a herculean effort to be confident enough to speak up and stand your ground when they push back. But until then, remember:

  1. Be aware that some of the most toxic people may be the ones closest to you
  2. Their smack-talking has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with their own insecurities
  3. You have the power to speak up for yourself
  4. Family members and close friends *do not* get to throw shade just because they’re in your life.

The post Want To Feel Better? Then Stop Hanging Around Toxic People appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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The Proven Way to Heal Toxic Relationship Trauma – Part Two

The Proven Way to Heal Toxic Relationship Trauma – Part Two

 

I am totally passionate about ending our suffering and healing for real from narcissistic abuse.

In Part Two of this series, I am going to explain more about Quantum and Consciousness Science, and how I realised the three keys to heal from abuse on the day I had decided to give up on Life!

Together we take a deep and wide dive into Quantum Healing – what it is, how it works and the results it achieves.

I will also share with you how I found the answers, which were previously elusive, due to my total frustration of having a chronic condition that NOTHING was healing.

It is my greatest desire after this Part Two episode, regardless of how severe your traumas are and how broken you feel, that you can sense a light calling you forward, just as my epiphany did for me.

 

 

Video Transcript

Today’s Thriver TV is Part Two of this series, and I’m really excited to take this conversation even deeper and wider than we did last week.

So to recap what we went through last week… We went over the reasons why you may not have been able to heal yet, despite your efforts to try to get relief from the excruciating symptoms of narcissistic abuse.

We also looked at the new science – Quantum and Neuro Science – and the reasons why introspection and taking your awareness inside is how to get to the core of your abuse symptoms, to be able to tend to them, so that you can get out of the terrible loop of having the ongoing management of your internal trapped traumas.

What is so exciting is that now we have the ability to release and live free of our trauma, and not just recover, but Thrive beyond the state of self and life that we experienced before abuse, even if abuse is all we have ever known.

Today we are going to look at the following three aspects of Part One more deeply: why we can, how we can do it, and the way to achieve this!

Before we get started, however, I want to thank you all for having the courage to subscribe to my channel and be a Thriver. The world needs this awareness to break out of old paradigms of being continually sick and traumatised after abuse, so that we can be something so much greater. If you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you give it a thumbs up.

Okay, let’s kick off Part Two.

The Power to Change at Our Core

Dr. Bruce Lipton upholds that the truth about genes holds the key.

Bruce maintains that pivotal to this shift in thinking is the ground-breaking insight into the function of genes. It was always believed that our genes have predispositions to turn off and on, created from our inbuilt genetics and situations in life that we have no control over.

We now know that this is not true – genes respond according to their environment. The environment outside of us in itself means nothing. It is our perception of the environment that is the TRUE environment – that’s what creates the ‘environment’ that our cells are housed in. It’s all going on in our body.

WE are the petri dish!

It’s all to do with our consciousness. And our consciousness, our perceptions, are all to do with our already existing subconscious beliefs.

If we change our beliefs, we change our consciousness. Then we change our cells and we change our life.

It’s an inside out job.

If we stay stuck in the powerlessness of our consciousness, affected by what other people are or aren’t doing, then we remain a victim to our life – the things and people that we have absolutely no control over.

However, as new science tells us, if, regardless of how our life looks, we take our focus inside ourselves and do the inner work to change our consciousness, then we become the masters of our biology and therefore our entire life.

We literally become different and we make different choices. We stop wrestling with what doesn’t serve us and we have empowered boundaries. We stop being derailed through our wounds and triggers. We know what to do to unfold a new truth, because of a new subconscious program operating inside us.

We may think that changing our consciousness must mean we have to think positively in the face of the painful events and traumas that we are facing, but it doesn’t work that way. We have all tried that very unsuccessfully with our abuse trauma!

Bruce says about this, ‘People hear about “positive thinking”, but when they attempt to put it into practice it doesn’t work because there is a step missing. The mind runs the biology, but the important thing to recognise is that there are two parts to the mind – the conscious and the subconscious – and the subconscious mind is over a million times more powerful than the conscious mind.’

He says, ‘If you tell a child it’s average and that’s the program, the child cannot exceed average because the brain will say, “this doesn’t make sense”. So no matter how hard that child tries it will unconsciously create average.’

The same applies for the painful traumatic beliefs we are carrying within us about relationships such as ‘The people I love hurt me, ignore me, treat me as invalid; they use my kindness for their own purposes.’ Or we may have the belief ‘If I don’t give other people what they want I will be criticised, rejected, abandoned, punished or even annihilated.’

We all know that that C.R.A.P.! Hence why we must go inwards with an effective method to change the program.

The Three Vital Steps to Heal

I want to share with you the incredible revelation I had that started the Thriver Movement. It happened on what I thought was the worst day of my life. I had been given a ‘There is no way to heal this; you can only medicate it with anti-psychotics’ diagnosis after my psychotic and adrenal breakdown.

I didn’t want to continue living, yet a voice in my head kept at me and at me with ‘there is another way’.

Anyway, many of you have heard this story so I’ll get right to the point. To try to shut down that voice in my head, in desperation, I ended up on my bathroom floor, put my hands up and screamed out, ‘Help me, I can’t do this anymore.’

An epiphany happened. Not just a regular everyday epiphany – rather a mind-blowing one that explained ‘everything’. It was a complete 180-degree turn away from my previous beliefs about how victimised I was, and how what had been dealt to me (the destruction of my entire life and self) was such a terrible fate.

I was shown there was a REASON for all of this. Again, not just a simple reason – rather a ‘the meaning of life’ reason. The reason being so that I could finally face my unmet, unconscious traumas and finally go free to be Who I Really Was.

Later I was to discover, through my whole Quantum Thriver Journey, that I am not alone in this. It’s in fact happening FOR all of us.

There were so many crystal-clear understandings that happened in the moments that followed on my bathroom floor. Maybe the incredible irony is that you have to be completely out of your mind to be able to receive the truth.

In amongst this, I was given the Three Key Steps to Heal.

These steps were:

Number 1: Acceptance of what had happened

Previously I had refused to accept losing both who I thought was the love of my life and everything that I thought was my life. I had been a total victim, and all the therapists and online forums had told me exactly that too.

However, I knew now that if I remained a victim and did not accept that all of this was happening FOR me instead of TO me, that I would never be able to get free of the trauma or get well.

Number 2: Turn inwards to heal myself

I understood that my current trauma and devastated life had come about because of not being healed and whole within myself. I had constantly self-abandoned. I was an expert at trying to shame and blame myself into shape, and reaching for distractions – keeping busy, overworking and using other addictions and unhealthy people and situations to do anything other than face, soothe and heal my own feelings.

None of my previous strategies worked anymore, and I was out of options to try to avoid the pain. There was only one place left to go – inside.

I knew my Inner Being needed me desperately, not False Sources, and only by going inwards could I heal the unhealable, change myself and forever change my life.

Number 3: Find, release and reprogram my trauma and belief systems

I knew I had to go inside with love and self-devotion to find my traumas and limiting beliefs, and be able to reprogram them back to wholeness.

Even though I didn’t know how to do this yet, I saw with absolute clarity the system of ‘so within so without’ and how our inner universe relates directly to our outer universe, and that to change our life the composition of our Inner Being needs to change first.

Then I was catapulted into a vision of the future where I saw and FELT myself Thriving – being more expanded, whole, loving, wise and powerful than I had ever imagined myself to be – even before abuse.

From that day forwards I totally fell into line with Number 1 and Number 2, and was on the search for how to achieve Number 3. Even though this epiphany in no way healed me, and there was tons of inner work and releasing trauma and subconscious reprogramming that I needed to do, I did have a massive immediate shift.

I gave up blaming myself and others. I released the shame of where my life had gone to. I knew this was about healing me and it was MY quest. I stopped holding the narcissist responsible for my life. Instead, I turned inwards and committed to the rebuilding of my soul from the ground up.

Even though I still had tons of trauma, my Inner Being heaved a sigh of relief. I had made this commitment to her, ‘I love you. I am here and I will do everything in my power to heal you, and I am never leaving you again.’

Now that I had shown up for myself, without any medication at all, which I was told I would need to even function, the psychotic episodes completely ended, forever.

Yet this was only the beginning. There was still so much more to come…

The Real Healing Breakthrough

Me surviving after being only 80 pounds and told I would never be normal and would need anti-psychotics for the rest of my life was already a miracle. I was medication free, determinedly self-partnered, and completely soul dedicated. Nothing was more important than fulfilling my quest of healing my Inner Being.

The future vision and the ‘knowing’ of being trauma-free kept calling me forward. I had researched many subconscious healing modalities, trying almost every one of them you can think of – EMDR, EFT, Body Code, The Reconnection, The Journey – the list goes on and on.

I found the most effective for me were Kinesiology and Theta Healing, which I studied and was certified in. These modalities, combined with past timeline regression therapy, which I had been practicing for decades previously, became a combined healing system that I called ‘Holographic Healing’.

The results for myself and other people with trauma symptoms were crazy good. So good that in a few short months after working on myself with Holographic Healing, I was completely free of CPTSD, fibromyalgia and adrenal stress. In many ways, even though I had been wiped out in nearly every area of my life, I had never felt so emotionally content and happy.

I still had, however, a persistent condition of agoraphobia. The narcissistic relationship had included stalking, threats, and terrible occurrences. Even though I felt fantastic in safe, closed spaces, in open spaces where I was vulnerable, the trauma that arose was sometimes horrific. I tried everything to heal this. I spent thousands of dollars on credit with every subconscious healer that was recommended to me – but the agoraphobia wouldn’t shift.

That was the case, until another miracle moment.

I was in Koh Samui on holiday and stuck in the confines of the hotel perimeter because of agoraphobia. This was 18 months after my bathroom floor awakening. I had had enough of it. I really wanted to heal this condition.

One night I started thinking about a documentary I had watched where Dr. Joe Dispenza and Dr. Candace Pert talk about how the chemical manufacturing part of our brain – the hypothalamus – produces ‘peptides’. You may have seen my Thriver TV Episode about this – and if not I highly suggest you do because it’s a key understanding. The link to the episode is here for you – The Answer To Narcissistic Abuse No-One Is Talking About – Peptide Addiction.

Anyway, the very shortened version of peptide addiction is this: science has now proven we literally get physiologically addicted in our cells to an emotion that we are receiving huge rushes of. Mine was fear – specifically ‘I’m not safe in life’.

As I thought about this documentary something CLICKED big time for me. I got it – the penny finally dropped – I just somehow KNEW that if I could feel that emotion in my body, target the traumas that were generating that emotion, use a visualisation process and intention to load up all the core causations reasons (meaning the original traumas and attached belief systems) and let them go, that I would be instantly freed from ‘I’m not safe in life’ and I would be completely healed from agoraphobia.

So I opened my heart and mind, and as I started taking dictation from a much higher source than me, I knew this was IT. My heart was pounding with excitement. There it was – a combination of Theta Healing, Kinesiology, Quantum multidimensional truths, timeline work, and other stuff I didn’t think I knew. Yet as I was writing it down, I knew I DID know it.

I was shown how multiple traumas are stored in the subconscious energetically – collective human traumas, past life trauma, trauma from our family’s genetic history and from our childhoods, including in utero before we are born, and then of course as adults.

I literally saw how these traumas lodge within our subconscious, and I was shown the intentions and visualisations as codes to unlock them and release them.

I was also shown that there are three compartments of the subconscious that require cleaning out for a full healing to take place. And with these releases, I was shown the corresponding integrations with the superconscious – which is Source – that is necessary to move each part of ourselves into the Light; into our Higher Potentiality connected with the Field so that we can actualise and be-come our True Self in regard to any topic that is targeted.

As I applied the first ever Quantum Freedom Healing to myself, I found and released dozens of past life, collective and childhood traumas. Then after searching inside and finding absolute no more parts of me that were attached to this trauma, I walked out into the main street of Chaweng Beach.

I started playing in life like I never had before. I was free, I was extended, I was radiant, I was connected to everything and everyone with joy. I had never ever felt those feeling before. Then I remembered the vision on my bathroom floor, when I was catapulted into the future – it was exactly THAT feeling.

Later, back in the hotel room, I thought to myself, ‘If I hadn’t been given this process, HOW on earth would I have ever found this?’ No therapy, including subconscious healing modalities, which were the most powerful, had ever taken me inwards to my Core Identity with such laser-like intensity, drawn the multiple traumas out of my cells from all the necessary subconscious compartments, and integrated me with the Oneness of myself and the Field to provide a fully experienced cellular body shift that completely short-circuited a deadly physiological peptide loop that my body had been addicted and trapped in.

How many decades of therapy would it take to get to that, what had just been achieved in only two hours?

Would it have even been possible?

I don’t believe it would.

The Inner Then Outer Shift

Humbly, I really want you to know Quanta Freedom Healing is not my creation. I was blessed, as a very unlikely messenger, to have this happen through me from a Higher Source that is much more intelligent than me. I could never have come up with that stuff myself! At first, I thought this gift was just for me, but I’ve known for a long time it’s for all of us. And such a gift it was to me!

As I kept using Quanta Freedom Healing on any trigger that came up for me, extraordinary things started to happen, and very quickly:

• Family, friends and colleagues who had turned away from me, turned back with love.

• The Universe was leaving me directions and ‘love notes’ every day to grant me the next step to my healing.

• Every day support, love, blessings and literal miracles were showing up, ranging from a free gift from a shopkeeper to incredible business and mission opportunities.

• The relationship with my son, which seemed shattered beyond repair, did a full about face and we were reunited. He healed miraculously from severe substance abuse and depression.

• A peace, love and wholeness that I didn’t even know existed, continued to build.

• Opportunities, synchronicities and miracles started to abound. Ways to come back and rebuild my life that I would never have dreamed of, just started showing up abundantly. And…

• I joyously followed my soul calling, and before I knew it my vocation was a global narcissistic abuse recovery expert – which truly is the job of my dreams, because I get to save lives and souls every day.

I had come home – finally – for the first time in lifetimes.

Thank God I had finally woken up from the trance – to shed the layers of false beliefs and traumas that have been inflicted on all of us on this planet.

This I now know is the simple meaning of life: if we have anything that hurts there is a corresponding trauma inside us, and when we find it and release it everything heals.

That’s ALL we have to do to claim our True Life.

You really do need to ‘Go Quantum’ to start experiencing the incredible fast results of this. Myself and Thrivers who do the inner work, live this as ‘our normal’. You will only begin to understand how powerful and capable you are of enlisting all of Life to co-create with you, when you get aligned in your Quantum consciousness. It’s Quantum Law – so within, so without – as absolute as gravity.

For more information regarding this, you may want to do some research on the Double Split experiment to see just how our own brand of consciousness affects how life shows up in our experience. This is what Quantum Science teaches us: at the subatomic level, beyond the atoms of our cells, we exist as pure waves of energy, a consciousness that is interconnected with the entire Field.

By living this we start to be-come Who We Really Are. Not just a little separated person having to unconsciously battle life – rather a connected being in the Oneness doing our life consciously.

The Results of Inner Healing the Quantum Way

These are the following:

1) You heal for real

There is no longer the need to have to manage trauma and the horrible symptoms and obsessional thoughts that go with that. It all melts away.

2) The narcissist becomes powerless against you

Committed NARPers regularly have unprecedented property settlement and custody wins. Often the narcissist completely capitulates and grants what is fair, because they can’t stand being in your empowered energy without being able to hook you. Doing the inner work to detox a narcissist from every vestige of your Inner Being is the only way to win against a narcissist that I have ever seen work.

3) You don’t need to learn how to be-come, it just happens

The old paradigm of healing was that we needed to unlearn something and then retrain ourselves to learn a new way of being. This generally took years, if not decades, researching into the ‘what happened with whom and what effect that had on us’.

This equals ‘analysis paralysis’ that only drip feeds, at best, any change to our subconscious programs and, at worse, cements deeper into our Inner Being our belief about being a victim and defective.

With Quanta Freedom Healing there is absolutely no need to know or research your story. It doesn’t matter how, with whom or when the trauma happened. Literally, by accessing the body’s wisdom and power, which is always unfolding the next wound to be released, you simply load and release the dense energy in your body and the belief system that was wrapped into that trauma disappears also.

There is zero need for you to even know what the trauma or belief was for you to be completely free of it. (However, don’t be surprised if total answers and concrete knowing arises as a product of your True Self connection to yourself!)

Then, as a result of the part of the process that brings in your Superconscious self, filling the space where the wound was, you automatically be-come the new and True Self. The person who knows how to be organically wise, conscious, self-loving, self-respecting, powerful and yet grace-full, whilst serving the Field in the highest and most honourable ways.

This shift of something that may have taken decades contemporarily to achieve previously – if it ever was possible – can happen within half an hour on any topic in your life, which is the duration of a Quanta Freedom Healing.

This may seem too good to be true, but I promise you once you start Going Quantum you will know exactly what I am talking about.

4) Your Life expands and heals in multiple areas

Naturally, we initially do the Quantum Inner Work to get relief from current trauma and fear. However, when cleaning out all that the narcissist has triggered, you will realise how the limiting beliefs and traumas were holding you separated from the things in life that you deeply desired.

The things that ironically you had attached to the narcissist, to try to gain through him or her, instead of generating through Self.

For the first real and authentic time, your confidence starts flowing, joy emerges, the ability to lay healthy boundaries comes online, inner knowing, wisdom, inspiration and intuition start to arise from within, and your life’s dreams and goals all come into view.

The areas of your life that were lacking, now can all heal and produce the results your heart has always desired.

That has been my experience, on steroids, as a result of Quanta Freedom Healing (NARP), which I do any day that I feel dense, unwanted energy in my body. Sometimes I may do as many as three healings a week. Other times I may not do one for a couple of weeks.

The triggers I have in my life are miniscule now – because I have released so much trauma. Yet, absolutely back in the day, I was in the deep dark trenches of meeting and releasing my trauma for much longer periods. But why wouldn’t I be? Look at the results now.

If I hadn’t done the work, I know 100% I would be back in my next lifetime having to face all of this again. I wanted this evolution – we all do. As Dr. Joe Dispenza says (I think it went something like this!), ‘We are all going to evolve. The real question is “when?” Will that start now or be in thirty years’ time, or a hundred more lifetimes?’

It all starts by turning inwards and taking on the three keys to heal for real: 1) accepting this happened for a reason, 2) turning inwards to ourselves with love, and 3) using processes to release trauma and reprogram our subconscious programs.

When we take on the ‘three keys’, the results are fast and effective. It’s the new science and the way we can be free of our wounds, our old beliefs and the horrible diagnoses we have received – as well as our fear, pain and abuse patterns.

As Thriver Sophie said, ‘After years of therapy I have had more success with Melanie’s healing in less than 2.5 weeks than all those 15 plus years combined.’

Linda, in a few short weeks after being discarded by a narcissist and hospitalised for a suicide attempt and severe depression, said this, ‘After spending weeks in hospitals from crippling depression and hopelessness, Melanie’s work has changed my life so much for the better. My condition has improved so much since finding her. There are not enough words to describe what a difference she has made in my life. I am from New Mexico and have done a lot of energy work there, but nothing I have ever experienced compares to the life changing miracle that Melanie has given me.’

Lisa said this, ‘The NARP program is nothing short of phenomenal. Embarking on the journey that is NARP has opened up my world, brought both sides of my brain back into harmony, and I have never felt so empowered and liberated. This is sheer breakthrough and these are super tools.’

Humbly, these stories are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the life-changing and life-saving testimonies that flood into MTE every day as a result of NARP. You don’t have to look far in my social communities to read them for yourself.

Lisa’s right, these are super tools, and I feel so blessed that we all live in a time to be a part of this exciting paradigm shift, a return to truth, a Quantum Leap in our own healing evolution.

So, if you want to dive in and Go Quantum and start experiencing these results for yourself, I would love you to join me in my brand new two-hour masterclass – Heal Your Abuse Trauma and Claim Your True Life.

This event is the beginning of your True Self and True Life if you want it!

And it’s totally FREE.

You can do so by clicking this link.  I can’t wait to see you in there with me!

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always, I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

Read More –>

The Proven Way To Heal Toxic Relationship Trauma – Part One

The Proven Way To Heal Toxic Relationship Trauma – Part One

 

The effects of narcissistic abuse can be excruciating.

Many of us have tried so hard to heal from the anxiety, depression and feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness that abuse trauma can cause.  And some of you may have gone on to develop adrenal malfunction, fibromyalgia, Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) or agoraphobia.

So why were we able to get up and go again with other events in our life – even serious ones – but this time we just CAN’T…

…despite all the effort we make, the knowledge we learn and the practices we study?

In this Thriver TV Episode, we will look at ineffectual avenues of healing and why they haven’t worked. We will investigate the scientific evidence of the new healing ways, that do heal us deeply at our core, and why they do.

If you have battled to heal, and possibly even feel defective or a failure because you aren’t getting better, today’s episode is a must-watch video for you.

 

 

Video Transcript

This is the first of a two-part series about healing from interpersonal trauma.

This episode includes why it has been so difficult to heal from narcissistic abuse and relationship trauma. We will also be looking at the different ways we thought we could be healed, ways that have proven for most people to be ineffectual, as well as Quantum Healing effectiveness that is now backed by science and which does release us from trauma, deeply, at our subconscious and cellular level, in ways that standard contemporary therapy simply can’t.

Today you are going to start learning exactly why talk therapy and trying to think differently, and even learning copious amounts of information about abuse and your abuse symptoms, although can help you know you’re not alone or going mad, does not have the ability to heal you.

The specific healing work that I will be talking to you about in this two-part series, is cellular. It’s Quantum – it’s where spirituality and science meet as a powerhouse of healing.

Today, because I am alive and not just surviving after relationship trauma but Thriving beyond my wildest dreams, where I have zero symptoms and am healthier, happier, more confident and safer in my body and life than I have ever been, even before being abused, it’s my life’s mission to educate you about how I healed for real and how you can also.

In this series, I am sharing humble, powerful and authentic accounts from my own life, as well as those of numerous Thrivers within this Community, regarding what our experiences were and how we healed. I want to inspire you, regardless of how bad your trauma symptoms are, and even if you feel that it’s impossible to heal or that it is just too late for you.

I promise you this is just not true.

The conversation this week and next week is so that you can save your soul and life and become the powerful knock-on effect for your children and their children – and for our world.

Before we get started, thank you, everyone, who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission, and please know I love hearing from all you beautiful Thrivers and about your breakthroughs. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Okay, let’s move on in!

 

Our Disbelief In How Hard It Is To Heal

Let’s start off by examining the limited ability we have had to heal from intense trauma.

I have met some extremely rare individuals over the years who just seem to be able to ‘get over it’ and move on after terrible abuse. For me, personally, and usually for the hundreds of thousands of people I have met over the last decade, this just wasn’t possible. Generally, extreme emotional wounding and a decreased ability to function is the norm.

Those people who I have seen push the pain down, or compartmentalise it and just carry on, generally have it erupt at a later some stage of life. A very dear friend of mine, after moving on courageously without inner healing from narcissistic abuse as a child, had a breakdown years later whilst in her own loving family – when she had a daughter.

The other people I know who ‘carry on’ have generally kept experiencing reoccurring disappointing events in their outer world. Such as repeat narcissists, or the like; evidence of the shadow – the unmet unconscious trauma becoming conscious by meeting them in real life from the outside – as our shadows do.

As Buddha said, ‘If you want to know what is going on in your inner world, look at your outer world.’

Many of us, after overcoming many terrible things in our life and being able to get up and get on with it again, were shocked to discover just how impactful toxic relationship trauma is, and how it brought us, maybe for the first time ever, to a place where we couldn’t move forward anymore.

This doesn’t have to be intimate partner relationships. It could be with a family member, an authority figure, someone in your workplace, a toxic neighbour, a friend – literally anyone at all.

Regardless of what gender or religion or sexual orientation you are, your age, whether or not the person is still in your life, or even deceased, or whether the abuse happened today or 40 years ago – the trauma may still remain and be living on like a terrible, emotional virus within you.

Please know the result of narcissistic abuse is a shocking dis-ease of our entire Being that can feel unshakeable.

When I first set out to get relief from narcissistic abuse, I was dismayed at how no one had a true healing solution for me.

Doctors and psychologists told me that my Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), and many other symptoms, couldn’t be healed and that medication and strategies were needed to try to manage my symptoms. Additionally, I was horrified by so many people in abuse forums reporting their diminished health, life and victimhood.

Some of these people even spoke like this decades after their abuse.

Now, thankfully, having been on the forefront of abuse and trauma recovery for more than a decade, I have met countless people who previously reported the same thing, before, humbly, finding my Thriver Way to heal.

This is what Claire, a fellow NARP member and Thriver said, ‘Until the NARP healing system, there was literally NO help for Narcissistic abuse recovery. I went from therapist to therapist; to spiritual healers, alternative therapy; and the list goes on and on. I tried to help myself learn and understand what had happened to me through research, but no matter how much I learnt I couldn’t get well.’

So many of us who end up in narcissistic abuse recovery astoundingly may have already been doing copious amounts of work on ourselves, or already be in healing or mental health industries. I was a spiritual therapist and teacher for years prior to narcissistic abuse, and I know many of you are into studying and being practitioners of wellbeing, personal development, psychology, counselling or human care services. Yet we still found ourselves in relationships that brought us to our knees.

Why didn’t the learning, studying and therapy change our relationship patterns or take away the pain?

The answer is this: because we weren’t shown how to heal from painful relationship traumas and programs within our Inner Beings. There was not the releasing of our trauma cellularly or the reprogramming of our subconscious painful programs to create us as a New Healed Self.

 

Feeling Like A Failure When Trying To Heal

I really want to acknowledge you. Most people who experience the devastation of toxic individuals and any sort of human relationship abuse are extremely traumatised. Not only are you fighting for your mind, sanity and life, but it is also possible that your finances, security and what and who you care for are under siege too.

Let’s just make this really clear right here, right now – you being in this position is not your fault, and I want you to know that you are NOT a failure.

I know you may be feeling the awful trauma about what you have lost, the time and even years you have wasted, and the torment you’ve put yourself and others who you care about through.

Maybe you are horrified with how you can’t stop going back to the abuse, no matter how terribly you are treated.

And, you are probably in shock that your life has ended up like this – somewhere you never believed you’d be at the age that you are. Add to this, of course, all the compounding feelings of failing because you don’t seem to be getting better.

Or maybe just when you think you might be getting better, you find yourself sliding back down into a deep, dark hole again.

I can’t tell you how often before I discovered how to heal for real, that was my experience – for years.

The fact you are struggling to get healing and resolution with what you are going through is not because you aren’t a productive, high-functioning person. Most of the people I meet in this Community are far from lazy, unintelligent or incapable. They are in fact the exact opposite.

Like my previous self, you may have, after exhausting your own considerable determination and efforts, diligently consulted people who you hoped could help.

I was in psych therapy – lots of it. I was also seeing healers, dieticians, doctors, personality disordered specialists and specialised lawyers, but nothing was helping me get away, stay away, heal and move on with my life.

So many people told me to let go of him. One Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) specialist told me the outcome if I stayed was my death or institutionalisation.

Yet I couldn’t stay away.

Meanwhile, the guilt and shame of who and what my life had become was eating me alive – I completely believed I was hopeless, defective and pathetic.

But this wasn’t true. I wasn’t healing because no one knew the truth about what was really going inside me psychologically, and therefore emotionally and mentally. And nobody was addressing my healing where it needed to be addressed, at the core.

All therapy was doing was the constant reaffirming my painful victim story and how hopeless and helpless I felt.

Please know I don’t want to knock therapists; I have heard of people gaining support and comfort from them. However, this I believe with all my heart: the old models of therapy, talking about the problems and receiving medication, needs updating. And I believe this because unless we are addressing trauma at the core of where it resides, then we are only hoping to try to manage symptoms – hence why there is an ongoing need for so much therapy without any real healing result.

The effective therapists in our world now, are the ones who are working deeply with the body-brain connection and are not just attempting to manage symptoms.

Chelsea, a Community Thriver, shared this: ‘Unfortunately with the psychiatrists, therapists and psychologists I saw, all that was accomplished was similar to putting a band aid on a broken bone. It doesn’t really fix anything. However, when recovery is tackled where the real problems are rooted, the real healing begins.’

Additional to therapy, in amongst all my desperation to try to find an answer to heal, I researched abuse community forums for many hours most nights. I hoped it would help me deal with him, as well as the terrible symptoms I now had, which included severe anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia and agoraphobia as well as CPTSD.

It didn’t. The more knowledge I gained, the angrier and more devastated I got and the more obsessed about him I became. And I still couldn’t stay away.

Tina another NARP Thriver says this about her experience: ‘I kept finding more information on narcissists and the abuse, but I got tired of reading about the abuse and how bad it all was. I just wanted to get over the powerless feeling I felt. This is the secret I never had – focusing on healing ME! I am now free from the despair and happy for the first time in a very long time.’

I know that many of us in this community are spiritual. I am too. I also sought out alternative methods to heal – holistic healers and Life Coaches. I had treatments including Reiki and Crystal Healing sessions. And I was regularly doing meditation, affirmations and journaling.

These things would grant some temporary relief, but the pain and mental obsessions about him came back and still I couldn’t keep away.

I even determinedly tried Law of Attraction on me, my life and even him. But there was no way with my deterioration of health that I was able to override my inner trauma, which assaulted me 24 hours a day, by trying to just ‘think positive’.

Now I know that Law of Attraction was one of the most devastating processes I tried to do. Later I discovered that trying to mentally push through extreme subconscious survival trauma programs by forcing yourself to be ‘positive’ can almost break you into psychosis. There is such a need to first face, hold and release the trauma to make space for a new positive program.

As Bruce Lipton says, ‘If you go to battle with your subconscious and conscious minds, your subconscious will win every time.’ In fact, as I devastatingly discovered, it will make the painful program and trauma more magnified to assert itself.

Of course, this made me feel like even more of a failure.

Okay, so if you are or were like me and you have worked your butt off trying numerous ways to heal from trauma, I want you to write below: ‘This happened to me too sister!’ And maybe you would like to list what you have tried that hasn’t helped, and also share what has.

So now, today, I know the truth – the reason why I wasn’t healing wasn’t because I was a bad person, unintelligent, or broken beyond repair. It was just that no one had ever taught me about inner trauma and painful beliefs, which were hijacking 95% of my brain and nervous systems and hooking me hard onto someone who represented these unmet and unhealed places within me.

This was not my fault. I logically never chose it and I logically had no control over it. These toxic binds were being driven by forces much more powerful than my conscious self. Will power was useless in the face of this – as was mere information and strategies.

What was needed was a deep, cellular shift directly in the core of where these deep powerful forces were playing out. And when I achieved that, I promise you none of my powerless, enmeshed, addicted, victimised self remained. And all my trauma dis-ease and symptoms completely left me. I am healed and whole and free of all of them, and have been for a long time.

Please know if this has been your struggle too, it doesn’t mean that you can’t heal and that you are doomed to suffer these terrible traumas, battling your symptoms indefinitely or for life – it just means that you haven’t, just like I hadn’t at this stage, understood the truth yet.

 

The Real Truth About Healing

I really want you to know what contemporary medicine and abuse forums say that is not the truth. They are telling you that you are sentenced to struggle with abuse symptoms and a diminished life. With all my heart I promise you this is NOT true.

It is totally NOT true that CPTSD, agoraphobia, adrenal malfunction or fibromyalgia are unhealable conditions that you will have for life; and that you will need constant medication and therapy. What is true is that when you find and release the traumas from your subconscious – which is generating these conditions – they simply melt away.

A Thriver member called PP shares this: ‘As a result of my abusive relationship, I acquired fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, osteoporosis, bruxism, insomnia and sleep deprivation, and then some. The Thriver healing system is the only one I have found that addresses the inner energetic component and effects of narcissistic abuse. Without this Program I doubt whether a person could ever fully recover and truly make the turnaround from survivor to Thriver. This is exactly the healing and approach I have needed for so long.’ Myself and tens of thousands of people in this Community are living proof of this.

Now let’s look at the science behind why subconscious healing systems works.

 

What Neuro-Science Has Now Discovered

I love what the scientific community is now proving regarding trauma and the body-brain connection, because it completely backs and supports the Thriver Recovery process.

Bessel Van Der Kolt, a Dutch Psychiatrist who is a forefront expert on the understanding of trauma, states that the logical part of our brain doesn’t have the ability to communicate with our brain’s limbic and internal nervous systems, where our trauma experiences reside, and therefore talk therapy is ineffectual to deal with it. It’s only through taking our attention within to our visceral emotional experience that we can hope to overcome trauma.

The starting point focus of the Thriver Way to heal is self-partnering. Every healing takes you into your inner world in theta brainwaves to bypass your logical brain and enter your subconscious, visceral feelings and internal programs.

Then the healing work is done with processes that communicate directly with your subconscious – your cellular inner self.

I want you to imagine this analogy: you are looking at a closed car hood and trying to imagine what the mechanical problem is that is going on inside the engine.

If you don’t go inside, firstly you will never know what the real issue is – you are only guessing. And secondly, if you don’t go inside you will never fix your ‘self’ and the problem will remain.

Regarding our trauma, talking, thinking and researching amounts to exactly this – lots of contention and absolutely no healing.

Bruce Lipton is an internationally recognised cellular biologist and bestselling author. He explains that as adults, our life is already programmed by our previous emotional experiences that generated belief systems in relation to these.

Bruce says that by the time we are around 35 years of age, our logical mind has only a 5% capacity of changing who we are, therefore regardless of how much we learn, research or talk about our life, we don’t break out of the patterns which aren’t serving us. Only going inward to reprogram our subconscious, which is in control of 95% of our life, does this.

He also explains that our subconscious programs control 40 billion bits per second of information that we process in relation to our life experiences, whereas our logical mind processes a teeny 40 bits per second. This is why it is impossible to think our way out of our painful emotional experiences, which are generating our feelings, thoughts and choices as well as who and what we connect to and stay attached to.

If, for example, we have painful internal trauma that has generated the subconscious belief, ‘People I love hurt me, leave me, replace me, betray me (the list of course may go on)’, these are the people and experiences we continue to make true in our life with the power of 95% of our Being directing this – no matter what we try to think and learn.

In Part Two of this series, I will share with you how I was given the codes and the ways through an information download – how to access the subconscious, find these traumas and associated beliefs, load them up and release them. Our logical mind has no ability or way to do this.

You will learn also how we can change our emotional programs directly at our core, often instantly, so that we are no longer the Old Self operating from the Old Program. Instead we are freed onto the trajectory of more empowered, whole and conscious reactions and decisions that do serve us.

Joe Dispenza is a scientist and researcher on the leading edge of neuroscience, epigenetics and quantum physics. He teaches us that our brain follows our body – meaning our mind thinks in alignment with our inner subconscious programs and does not have access to a healthier path until we create a shift on the inside of ourselves.

Therefore, once we change our inner subconscious programs, how we think, which is our level of consciousness, will automatically reflect this.

One of the most powerful ways I have found to produce a shift is to enlist a Higher Power force to fill the space where the released trauma once was.

If we were just to release trauma, then in its place we would have an emptiness; a bewilderment about who we are and what is next in our lives. Yet when we fill the space where the trauma was with our SuperConscious, then we have the best teacher embodied within us.

We literally become Infinite intelligence which knows how to be for the greater good, firstly for self and then as an outflow, benefitting all of life and others in divine, powerful, yet graceful and healthy ways.

You may think of this as your Higher Power (whatever your Higher Power means to you). To you this may be God, or The Universe or Creation or even Lifeforce.

This Higher Self element is what many contemporary and even some energetic healing processes miss, and it’s one that many Quantum Healers do enlist. Honestly, I don’t believe we have any ability to heal the unthinkable – which is what narcissistic abuse truly is – unless we pull on a force, this Infinite, which does this so powerfully.

This Higher Self aspect – to midwife a shift from the Old Self into your True Self to help bring through the breakdown of the Old Order to the breakthrough of your highest potential New Order in record time, with maximum potency – is a big part of my healing process and occurs multiple times in every healing that you do in NARP.

This is what Lakiira said about this, ‘During the first healing, it felt like magic but it’s science. I knew that I was touching on something spiritual and a Higher Power was involved, because the feeling of emptiness I had always felt had shifted. I was coming home to myself. I believe 100% in the power of Quantum Healing, and I hope everyone can be free from emotional trauma by opening up to receive this energy and love.’

Okay, so I’m going to leave this very important discussion here at this point. I think we have had enough to feel into and talk about for now.

As well as what I mentioned before, next week we are going to investigate the Science of the Observer Effect, Quantum Consciousness, the truth about our genes and our ability to create ourselves and our Life anew, even from severe trauma symptoms and even if trauma is all we have ever known.

I’m also going to share with you the three specific Quantum keys I discovered to achieve full Thriver Healing status and my experiences when channelling, creating and applying Quanta Freedom Healing.

Please know if you don’t want to wait until next week and want to dive on in and start ‘going Quantum’, you can do so by clicking this link.  My free 16-day course will explain so much to you – things that will make perfect sense about your healing journey.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

So, thank you for your presence and attention regarding this fascinating Quantum Healing conversation. I can’t wait to share the conclusion of this series with you next week.

As always, I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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