When you have cleared much of the pain, and are no longer in survival mode – these questions may arise …
Who am I?
What am I supposed to be doing with my life now?
You may have an idea of what you want to do, but you feel stuck.
You may still feel some residual fear of going out there and getting what it is you truly want.
And as a result, you may feel like you aren’t getting anywhere.
What is going on when we feel like that? What have we missed?
Truly, I can’t tell you how much I relate to these feelings, because this stage of the journey TOTALLY happened to me too!
Today, I’m so excited to share what I discovered about why we feel stuck … and how to use this time, not just for peace and acceptance, but to tap into the power and richness of our unfolding in ways that we never previously knew.
When you embody the insights I share in this video your life is going to start flowing so powerfully … you will have all the energy, direction, support and ways that you could possibly dream of.
It really is that powerful!
Welcome to the Thriver’s Life series … the creation of your highest and best life after narcissistic abuse.
Okay, before I get started on this week’s new series topic – I want to say that the response to the launch of this new series last week was beyond my wildest expectations. And I am so thrilled that I can now focus on granting you the next empowered steps, the ones that I took, to help you really expand your life after narcissistic abuse.
Thank you, everyone, for your name suggestions and all of the effort and the thought that you put into these.
The MTE team chose ‘The Thriver’s Life Series’, and I want to thank Nancy for her suggestion – which we believe encapsulates all of it – everything that we want this new series to represent. And I love that this is so about solution – it’s not just about narcissistic abuse. At MTE here, and on this channel, we are all about the forward steps to not just heal but extraordinarily soar in our new abuse-free lives.
So, let’s get onto this week’s topic.
Ok, after narcissistic abuse recovery there can be this thing … a lull, a feeling of ‘who am I now?’ We were so clogged up with trauma and surviving, that after working hard to excavate it out – if we are working with NARP – there is all this space inside us that can feel a lot more pleasant than trauma … but it’s unfamiliar.
When we have shovelled out our previous identity that may have been attached to previous outer attachments, that are all now gone, we have a fresh slate that may really not have much to it, in the way of an identity yet. And that can feel weird, vague and directionless … and definitely empty.
This may make us feel like we have to get ‘out there’ and make something happen in order to give our inner void feeling some substance, yet often – at this stage – all of our attempts to do that feel flat or leave us coming up empty with this feeling ‘Well that wasn’t it!’
Since my human life has become totally Quantum, no longer do I ever believe the answers are ‘out there’. I truly believe all of it, without exception, is born from within. And … I’m such a fan of inner alignment to get to the truth of how to engineer our life from the inside out and successfully integrate with Quantum Law – so within, so without.
Initially getting linked into how to really make the cogs of life work for us instead of against us is totally counter-intuitive to doing what we think we should be doing.
Ok, so to really cover off this topic today – we need to look deeply at all the foundations. So, I am going to talk to those of you still in narcissistic abuse pain as well as those who are in the stage of ‘what is next’.
Let’s dive into this: In the past, as beings living life from the outside in, we needed something or someone to have in our life in order to feel whole. And then with what we all went through as a result of narcissistic abuse, we lost that something or someone anyway and came back to square one – empty.
But there was a massive purpose for that, and that purpose was to turn inwards and integrate – meaning to finally self-partner with, love and accept ourselves. The only way to really do this is to meet ourselves warts and all – meaning traumas and all. And be fully with ourselves unconditionally, meaning no more self-abandoning or self-avoiding and trying to get other people and things to take the pain away.
It is only through this conjoining with our underworld, our true inner being, no matter what the state of it is, that we get to graduate from our Old False Self (distorted by human trauma) to start claiming the power, magnificence and miracles of our True Self. This is the hero’s journey, which many people never take, and the people who do wonder why they didn’t do it earlier.
What is our true power? It is the knowing of how to work with the Universe inside of us to unfold it out into the Universe outside of us. At a Quantum Level, this goes way beyond Law of Attraction stuff, which I truly believe has many gaps in its philosophy.
Quantum Law is all about growth and graduations. It is about ‘be’-coming and accepting and integrating all of the stages we are perfectly in, as we be-come.
During narcissistic abuse, our purpose was integrating with ourselves to survive and recover, and for many of you, you may still be there. And it is so important to accept that mission and make your recovery and healing your greatest personal quest ever – because your entire life depends on it. In fact, you need to get a master’s degree in this, if you want to do a fabulous job and graduate with honours. If you just try to push through and spiritually bypass this stage of soul graduation with outer achievements and other worldly pursuits, you are missing the essential soul evolution lesson.
Which is: Releasing the Old Self who was battling with handing power away and trying to assign False Sources as your power source and therefore struggling to be authentic, self-generative, safe and powerful … into the be-coming of Who You Really Are, a person organically connected to the flourishing and nourishing of life, which wants for you exactly what you want, which is your highest super-conscious potential.
Meaning being able to generate your truest personal values, and therefore create and maintain true love and abundance which is your birthright to live. And unless we fully accept and nestle into this stage and really work with it, we don’t get the graduation out to the other side. If we condemn this stage, try to avoid it and hate it, we are stuck in there as long as it takes for our graduation to occur.
Sadly, for many people that may take lifetimes. I can’t tell you how sobering that was for me – that totally made me say ‘Inner work here I come, I am NOT doing this for lifetimes on end again – NO way!
Okay, the total mission and purpose after narcissistic abuse – Number 1 – is: meeting and healing our inner being, period. There is nothing and no one more important than that. You are not just evolving your soul, you are literally saving it as well as saving every future soul and generation that could be impregnated by you leaving unhealed trauma in your soul – which is another sobering thought.
But after narcissistic abuse, and working really hard at our recovery, we may be very surprised that we have not just started generating all that great stuff yet. And, we may feel an inner emptiness, or even feel like a ship without a rudder, directionless and purposeless.
Here we have another level of the Quantum game of be-coming to graduate through.
Imagine you are a character in a computer game, and you are on level 6 … and it’s barren and dark and you can’t see anything. You want to bypass it, you don’t want to play that level, yet until you settle into it and find its components and master it, you can’t get to level 7.
What you may not have realised is that you are in a level of dark/light alchemy. From space comes pure potential. In the nothingness is the seed of everythingness. In this void of ‘what’s next’ is space itself that holds the pure potential of your entire highest life … which is so much more superior and powerful than the false substitute of trying to get out of the void and then bring something else back in it to fill it up.
Are you sensing what I mean? Because some part of your cellular knowing knows what I am saying is true, that the universe inside you is the space of infinite consciousness that you need to integrate with in order to unfold your highest potential, callings, joy, abundance and true soul purpose in life.
And I’m not talking about sitting with your legs crossed and eyes closed ohhming every morning until the answer comes to you. I am talking about doing something so much easier than that, which is exactly what I did when I started opening up to and allowing pure potentiality to start flowing through me.
What I am suggesting, in fact urging you to do, in order to unlock this next stage of your be-coming, is to align your belief systems to Quantum Truth. So that the old limited you, who couldn’t even conceive, formulate and much less engineer all the permutations necessary to bring about your highest life, gets right out of the way.
Nothing less than subconscious reprogramming can get us there I believe – because truly our old human conditioned beliefs, have stripped us of our true God-self power and have thwarted us aligning with the truth of Who We Really Are and what we are capable of producing.
Okay, these are the previous beliefs that most of us carry in our DNA that I believe need to be released out and replaced with the true powerful inner identity beliefs that I list after these:
‘My life requires struggle, hard work and suffering to get ahead.’
To be reprogrammed with:
God / Source / Creation wants for me and grants me what I want for me, which is my greatest love, joy success and abundance.
‘I have to try to think up what it is that I am supposed to find.’
To be reprogrammed with:
All of Life flowing through me brings the feelings, inspirations and the ways to bring Who I Truly Am, as my most magnificent self into physical expressed reality.
‘I have to work out what the world needs me to be.’
To be reprogrammed with:
I am bringing forth my unique contribution which is what the world needs from me.
Okay, so this is the thing … if you know your calling and direction, then all you need to do is keep clearing away, within your subconscious, the limiting beliefs that stop you from being that person.
Growth and be-coming and getting to the next evolutionary game level are all about breaking through previous comfort zones, being and doing who and what we never have before.
If this is a soul calling you, absolutely you have what it takes, even if you have never done these things before – I promise you your soul has a human collective as well as a past life cellular memory, it is already a master at these things, wanting to express the truth of who you already are.
So many of us, in this time, have come here to do what we didn’t get done last time, and I can almost feel souls stirring in deep recognition of this. It is your time Dear Soul to unlock, remember and be who you really are!
If you don’t know yet what your directions and purpose are and if you are still healing from abuse, please know this: You are your purpose; the healing of your inner universe. That is the NARP work or using another deep-body modality that can release and reprogram trauma from your Inner Identity.
If you have done this, and you are up to the next level, the place of ‘who am I?’ and ‘there seems to be only emptiness now’ you are up to the stage of working with the belief systems that I have granted you today – which are exactly the same ones I reprogrammed within myself.
And, as well as doing those ones, I would suggest setting up the Goal Setting Module in NARP and clearing all resistance to the goal ‘I am totally at one with the nothingness within, which contains my truest and highest life and be-coming.’
That’s powerful stuff when you do that!
I promise you, when you just are this alignment for the sake of being the alignment, not attached to any outcomes, your true life will appear and start flowing through you so powerfully you will have all the energy, direction, purpose, support and ways that you could dream of.
Also, you can do lots of specific reprogramming to bring your new and true life into reality in my Empowered Self Course which dovetails with this new ‘The Thriver’s Life Series’.
So, I can’t wait to partner with you on your comments and questions regarding this episode, and I’d love to hear how you feel about the new name ‘The Thriver’s Life’.
And remember, after narcissistic abuse recovery, gloriously we take it further!
Because we CAN!
Lots of love, bye bye.