No Contact The Truth

What Is Quanta Freedom Healing?

I didn’t grow up dreaming of becoming a Quanta Freedom Healer! It was a long journey to get to where I am today, and one I would never have taken had I not been completely broken by abuse.

Today I want to tell you a little about that journey, and explain all about what Quanta Freedom Healing is, and how it came about.

This will help you to understand why Quanta Freedom Healing can work for you, even if you feel hopeless, helpless and as though you’ve already tried everything possible to heal from abuse – I felt that way too!

Most of all, I want to give you hope that you can not only recover from your pain, but you can create a life that is even more fulfilled, joyful and expanded than before the narcissist came into your life – the life you deserve!



Video Transcript

Today, I will answer a question that many of you have asked: What is Quanta Freedom Healing? To explain it as best as I can, I need to explain how it came about, because it’s not like I knew I was going to become a Quanta Freedom healer. I certainly didn’t.


The Breakdown Epiphany Moment

Like a lot of us, I went through significant narcissistic abuse. At that time, I was researching narcissism, and a specialist was helping me understand who the man in my life was.

Even though I also joined post-traumatic stress disorder groups and narcissistic abuse forums and was getting answers about narcissism, I was still hooked. I was obsessing and ruminating, and I couldn’t stop breaking No Contact. Eventually, I had a complete psychotic and adrenal breakdown.

I’d already lost much property, reputation and the ability to function normally. I hadn’t eaten or slept properly for six months. I was only 80 pounds. All of my hair had fallen out. I was already in a really bad state. When the breakdown happened, I honestly believed the professionals who told me I’d never recover or return from it.

I started planning how to leave the planet because I didn’t want to go on. While thinking about how to do that, I had a voice in my head that kept saying to me, “No, there’s another way. There’s another way.”

I was arguing with this voice, and then I walked into my bathroom and fell to the floor. I put my hands up and screamed, “I can’t do this anymore. Help me.” I was calling out to God, a Higher Power, and I didn’t know what else to do.

At that moment, I had a profound experience: it was like my head opened, and everything I’d previously believed was sucked out of me. What entered into its place was a this deep, powerful knowing, and a voice spoke to me, telling me what had happened; why it had happened; how this person was a catalyst in my life who was showing me all the parts of myself that were unhealed and unconscious; and that it wasn’t about him – rather it was about healing me.

Then I got catapulted into the future. I saw and felt myself as healed, whole and Thriving, and I felt like I’d never felt ever before. Then I got flung back into who I was, emaciated, shaking, sweating. I wasn’t healed, but I knew I could heal. I’d been told how to start this from the inside out, and that I would be supported in this journey.

I chose that path from that day. The voice had instructed me to turn within, to speak to myself as if I loved myself like a small child. Something astounding happened. The intense psychotic episodes disappeared without the need for medication. Then synchronicity started happening. I met people and got downloads, information and clues about inner healing modalities, which I’d never looked at before, even though I’d been doing personal development and spirituality for decades.

Then I studied Theta Healing, Kinesiology and EFT and other modalities. I became certified, and started putting together a combination of tools to heal myself, which at the time I called “Holographic Healing”. I was getting really good results. Complicated Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) was melting away. I was starting to feel more connected and more whole than I’d ever felt before, in spite of my losses.


The Breakthrough Healing Moment

However, I had a persistent agoraphobia that made me feel unsafe in open spaces due to the trauma of narcissistic abuse. I was trying everything I could to heal myself. I was researching quantum physics and neuroscience and trying to assemble protocols. I was outsourcing the best of the best healers without success in shifting it. It happened that a girlfriend was going to Ko Samui, but I couldn’t go with her. She told me, “Come later,” but I was worried about how I’d manage the trip alone since I have agoraphobia and can’t even go to the shop without becoming a meltdown.

Despite this, I knew I had to go. So I did, and it was one of the most traumatising experiences of my life. I eventually got there, collapsed into her arms, and we went to the resort, where I felt safe again. After that, I could enjoy the holiday, but I still wanted to get out into Ko Samui, and I knew I couldn’t.

One day, alone in the hotel room, I set an intention that I was going to channel the healing answer to my agoraphobia. I opened up my heart, mind, and soul and immediately I started taking dictation. I was writing down protocols and healing steps. They were things that I knew in regard to Kinesiology and Theta Healing, but there were also things that I didn’t know, which were a deeper timeline aspect, more compartments of the subconscious to access. And there were also Source downloads that were much more impactful, richer, and bigger than I’d been used to.

Even though I didn’t know the details, I had goosebumps when they came to me (you may understand what I’m saying). I applied the first-ever Quanta Freedom Healing to myself, and two hours later, I was in Ko Samui, more playful, confident and connected to people than I had ever been my entire life. I knew something astounding had just happened.

I returned to Melbourne and stopped doing Holographic Healing with my clients. I said, “No, we’re doing Quanta Freedom Healing.” I discovered that their deep, persistent trauma was shifting as well.

Many of my clients had other therapists, psychologists, or domestic violence workers, and these therapists rang me up and asked, ” My client today was different than yesterday. What happened?” Then they came to see me for a Quanta Freedom Healing – because a lot of practitioners have got their own trauma too.

Through word of mouth, my business exploded. I had more clients than I could handle, and I knew I needed to create a healing program because news of Quanta Freedom Healing spread overseas. People that couldn’t even get to me were contacting for sessions.

Since its birth 15 years ago, the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program has helped tens of thousands of people from 150 different countries worldwide heal and release inner trauma with the Quanta Freedom Healing modules. I also have other programs that have been instrumental in helping people achieve this goal.

Before I explain more about Quanta Freedom Healing, it’s important for me to explain why healing from the inside out is vital.


Why Can’t We Heal Logically?

We know from our real-life experience that the obsession and the rumination that goes with narcissistic abuse are crazy. What ends up happening is that we are doing “stinking thinking”. We’re trying to think out of our obsessional thinking and get an answer or information that will give us closure and peace, but it just doesn’t work.

Why doesn’t it work? The reason is because the seat of our trauma and our painful programs is in our body. They’re not in our head. Wonderful neuroscientists such as Joe Dispenza, Bruce Lipton, the late Candace Pert, and others, are now explaining to the world why the brain follows the body.

For example, I want you to say, “I think devastated,” and feel into it, then follow it up with “I think traumatised.”

These statements are disconnected. They’re like caveman talk. These statements should be, “I feel devastated. I feel traumatised,” because they’re going on in your body.

You cannot get into your body and heal logically – that’s like trying to access your television from a radio frequency. When we are in our head we are not healing what’s going on inside of us. Rather, we’re thinking about what hurts, causing more identification with our trauma, which makes it worse.

Now let’s look at trying to recover logically from another angle. What if you were hit by a car, lying on the road, bleeding, and people yelled at you to get up? Or went after the driver, and start tracking and researching him? You would not heal and may not survive. Ask yourself how many times have you told yourself to get on with it, or researched narcissism without attending to your inner wounds? Only inner healing heals your inner wounds, no different to physical wounds needing attention.

Just because you can’t see your inner trauma doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. We have yet to realise that our inner emotional system is as powerful as our inner physical system when given the right environment and conditions to produce healing.

Now imagine you had an abscess and tried to put some cream and a bandage over it. It’s not going to get better. Lancing it and releasing the toxic infection creates space inside to heal. It’s exactly the same with internal trauma – it has to be released to create space for healing. Quanta Freedom Healing is incredibly effective because it does this. Whereas trying to ‘think’ it out keeps the trauma trapped inside.



What Is Quanta Freedom Healing?

Quanta Freedom Healing is the core component of the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) and my other healing programs. These are audio healings that can be accessed from any device. Quanta Freedom Healing takes you into a deep theta brainwave, which bypasses the logical brain, to access inside your body, even if you’ve been struggling with rumination and obsession.

This level of healing is not just relaxation, it has intentions and energetic codes that access your subconscious. All you have to do open up, breathe, and follow my voice, and a few simple instructions. In fact, the less you do, the better the process works on you.

Quanta Freedom Healing loads up the trauma from different parts of your subconscious and releases it, which frees space inside you to receive the download of the True Source replacement, on whatever topic you’re working on. That gives you a shift out of  Who you were being, into your Higher Self potential on that topic.

This feels like relief, a release. It feels like space. Where that trauma once was, there is now the space for the healing – which is inspiration, outer solution and support – to enter. It’s the calm, the power and the wisdom to know what to do. As you get better on the inside, you do so much better on the outside. Support, synchronicity and miracle start to enter your life. Resolution and solution come in greater ways than you could imagine possible.

Narcissists can’t stand against with regular Quanta Freedom Healing work.  They’re a False Self in a lower consciousness of deceit and darkness. You have become a bright Light; fearless, with Source partnering you, no longer handing over narcissistic supply (fear and pain). With Quanta Freedom Healing, narcissists stop harassing you, leave your experience, capitulate, lose against you in court. You win custody, get good settlements, alienated children return to you. These breakthroughs and much more are common occurrences in our Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) Community.

Quanta Freedom Healing grants you a much deeper tool than the logical, practical experience that we’ve been trying to use to heal from abuse. Thank goodness, because narcissistic abuse is a battle for your soul! You know its spiritual – the insane feelings of being psychically infiltrated and having your life-force sucked out of you is not logical and practical.

Deep inner somatic healing is spiritual. It’s where healing has to take place.

We need a deeper healing solution.


Usual Quanta Freedom Healing Timeframes

Most people, from the first healing, feel it. If you’ve done a Quanta Freedom Healing you know that you feel relief, space and better. Generally, within one to three weeks, the obsessive rumination will start to calm down enough that you can eat, sleep, and function. Within one to three months, so much of your trauma will have melted, relieving disorders like Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, fibromyalgia, adrenal malfunction, anxiety, depression, and triggers.

Most people’s lives are unrecognisable within 6 to 18 months. They have rebooted emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially, and physically in ways that they weren’t able to access even before the abuse, even if abuse is all they’ve ever known. They’re living abuse-free lives and thriving in their new lives, regardless of what they lost and left behind in the past.


Who is Quanta Freedom Healing For?

It doesn’t matter your age, gender, sexual orientation, or religious preference, whether you left 40 years ago or are still with this person. The person could be a lover, intimate partner, spouse, family member, friend, neighbour, or child – Quanta Freedom Healing is unconditional because it focuses on the trauma inside of you that is making you sick, hooked, and stuck in abuse programs.


Support With Quanta Freedom Healing

The healings work in a way that revolutionises how we heal. There is no more requirement to bash pillows and scream out wounds, or decipher and investigate your childhood logically for years to try to heal. Rather, with Quanta Freedom Healing, your body is signalled to “light up” the dense energy, then you simply feel it without information, follow my voice to let it go, replace it with The Light and experience life-changing shifts in minutes, as opposed to decades of work.

With the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP), as well as many additional resources, there is a Global Forum of Super Thrivers from all over the world, there for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year to lovingly support you and grant you true healing solutions.

In our wonderful NARP Community, we have seen it all – any inner and outer issue that you are struggling with. Also, unconscious abusers all do the same stuff and it’s highly predictable. We can guide you and let you know what’s coming up and how to get through it. We know how to do this quickly, powerfully and in the least painful and most empowering way no matter WHAT you are going through.

All of the incredible NARP Community Forum support comes completely free with your NARP program.

I hope you now have a much better understanding of the super-tool, Quanta Freedom Healing, which is responsible for us granting leading edge abuse and trauma recovery, worldwide. I most of all I want you to have hope that there is a way to heal for real.



At MTE we are thrilled about these results, that we live personally and share every day with people. It’s so much easier, more supportive and loving to heal this way.

It was important for me to make Quanta Freedom Healing and the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program as accessible as I could to as many people as possible. This is why I made the price of this complete life-time healing system a once only payment less than the usual price of three hours of therapy. I’ve also given you a small monthly payment option – with full access to all resources and unlimited time community support immediately.

Plus, I take all of the risk for you to try it. There’s a complete money back guarantee for you to try the life-changing Quanta Freedom Healing Modules in the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program, and if you don’t receive spectacular results, with one email to you can receive a full refund of your money with no questions asked.

So, I hope that I’ve explained Quanta Freedom Healing and why trying to survive abuse and trauma has been so painful and hard. Narcissistic abuse doesn’t have to be a life sentence.

If you’d love to heal from abuse and expand into more success on every topic, I’d love to help you. Here is the link to NARP, and also you can read people’s Quanta Freedom Healing success stories here.

Let me know in the comments whether my explanation for Quanta Freedom Healing today makes sense. Also, if any of our lovely Thrivers would like to share their explanation or experience of Quanta Freedom Healing, please do!

I look forward to answering your questions and comments below.


No Justice in a Family Courtroom; A REAL MAN TAKES CARE OF HIS KIDS!

No Justice in a Family Courtroom; A REAL MAN TAKES CARE OF HIS KIDS!

Clark County, Nevada

May 2, 2023

Veterans In Politics Foundation had an opportunity to Court Observe this case in less than an hour we were intrigued by this case that we wanted to learn more.

We pulled the entire case file and were furious about the way the Eighth Judicial District Court Family Division would allow this father to continue to rack up financial legal bills for the mother and refuse to charge the father with the frivolous filings. In addition, allowing the father to continue to violate court orders by not paying his child support.

The biggest frustration we observed with this case is the hate the father has towards the mother. The hate is so great towards the mother that it blinds the father and his revenge for the mother made his daughter a casualty of his narcissistic world.

The child always pays the price of their parent’s mistakes.


The Court Cautioned Victor Sal Victoria “of letting the child down” The Court suggested the Father “stand by his word and … not disappoint the child.”  The Court made note of Victor’s already limited visitation, which he has not been exercising, and his lack of involvement in his child’s life. Victor has been an absentee parent for the majority of his child’s life.  Instead of spending time with his child he spends time filing frivolous motions in court and pretends to be someone he’s not.

Victor makes a six-figure income which he should be contributing to the care of his child. He has failed to pay a significant amount of money for child support, health insurance, unreimbursed medical expenses, etc.    Therefore, the child has to suffer because Victor will not contribute to his child’s needs.

For a few short months, Victor was allowed to have more visitation with his child than the few hours a week schedule.    Then the Judge quickly revoked that order due to Victor’s unsupervised behavior. This proves that he is not a fit father and has no intention of ever being the dad his child deserves.

Don’t take our word for it. Please click on the case file videos below:

  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Now it begins before Family Court Judge Potter on 10/06/10 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Continues before Family Court Judge Potter on 11/23/10

3. This is how you handle a Divorce & Custody! Matter before Family Court Judge Potter Victoria 2/1/11

  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Starts before Family Court Judge Rhonda Forsberg on 1/16/20 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! before Family Court Judge Rhonda Forsberg on 3/17/20 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! before Family Court Judge Rhonda Forsberg on 5/19/20 1-7 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Family Court Judge Rhonda Forsberg 5/19/20 2-7 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Family Court Judge Rhonda Forsberg 5/19/20 3-7 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Family Court Judge Rhonda Forsberg 5/19/20 4-7 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Family Court Judge Rhonda Forsberg 5/19/20 5-7 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Let’s Go Before Family Court Judge Forsberg 5/19/20 6-7 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Family Court Judge Rhonda Forsberg 5/19/20 7-7 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Family Court Judge Rhonda Forsberg 9/7/21 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Bad Audio Before Family Court Judge Forsberg 1/18/22 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Senior Court Judge Gerald Hardcastle 6/14/22 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Super Senior Court Judge Cherry 8/16/22 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Get the Ref a Nametag 10/25/22 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Get the Ref a Nametag 11/8/22 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Family Court Judge Marli Parlade’ 3/16/23 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Family Court Judge Marli Parlade’ 3/24/23 1-8 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Family Court Judge Marli Parlade’ 3/24/23 2-8 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Family Court Judge Marli Parlade’ 3/24/23 3-8 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Family Court Judge Marli Parlade’ 3/24/23 4-8 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Family Court Judge Marli Parlade’ 3/24/23 5-8 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Family Court Judge Marli Parlade’ 3/24/23 6-8 
  1. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Family Court Judge Marli Parlade’ 3/24/23 7-8 

27. Victor Sal Victoria vs Victoria Matter! Before Family Court Judge Marli Parlade’ 3/24/23 8-8



sad mother sitting on the floor crying holding a child's shoe

6 Ways a Mother Can Lose Custody as a Result of Her Misconduct

sad mother sitting on the floor crying holding a child's shoe


It is a difficult decision for any parent to lose custody of their children. It can be an even more difficult decision when the mother has lost custody due to her own misconduct.

Ways a Mother Can Lose Custody

In order to understand how this could happen, it’s important that we take the time to examine 6 ways in which a mother might lose custody as a result of her own actions:

1. Child Abuse

Society tends to see women as nurturing, but they can be just as capable of abuse. Despite the commonly held belief that women are less capable of child abuse than men, it is often more shocking to learn that a mother has abused her children. Some people assume this type of behavior occurs in only one-parent families and especially among stepfathers or adoptive parents, however, mothers can also be abusive.

The reason mothers lose custody of their children is abuse: physical, emotional, and sexual. Some people assume that women are less likely to be abusers, however, they can commit all types of child abuse which makes it more shocking when a mother abuses her kids because society sees them as nurturing but sometimes this isn’t the case.

Sometimes, a mother isn’t abusive herself but fails to protect her children from abuse by the new partner. If the court becomes aware of this behavior in either case, they are likely to lose custody.

When a father knows his child is being abused by the mother but does nothing about it, he fails to protect their child and this can impact both his custodial rights as well as the mother’s. This means that parents have an obligation to take care of their children.

2. Child Neglect

If a mother neglects her child’s basic needs, like health and education, she runs the risk of losing custody. For example: if she leaves them hungry or homeless without any clothes to wear they will likely end up in foster care. Neglect is often intertwined with other issues such as abuse or substance use so one should not be ignored for another.

There is no set standard for a “perfect parent”. Family law judges understand that parenting isn’t perfect, so they are willing to overlook some small mishaps such as being late picking up the children from school or not keeping an appointment. However, if there’s long-term neglect of the child and this threatens their well-being, then you could risk losing your parental rights with family court intervening.

A father may be able to prove the negligence of his children by the mother. Teachers, daycare providers, family members, and others are all potential sources for proof against a negligent parent. If these people notice that there is something wrong with how parents care for their kids but don’t know what exactly it might be or if they would want to testify in court about it on behalf of an estranged father’s custody case, then perhaps direct evidence can help them out!

3. Substance Abuse or Addiction

The courts take addiction to alcohol and drugs very seriously, in part because it can have a negative impact on the care that an addict’s children receive. If a mother struggles with addictions to alcohol and other substances she may be put into question as being unfit or unable to take care of her children.

If a mother is discovered to have a dependency on prohibited substances or drugs and alcohol, she risks having her custody rights revoked. Children of addicts are more likely to suffer neglect, abuse, and imitate their parents by picking up bad habits as well. In cases where there’s evidence of the mother’s substance use (drug/alcohol), fathers can present this evidence requesting that his ex-wife be stripped of visitation privileges with his children altogether in order for them not to pick up these unhealthy behaviors themselves.

Despite the fact that a mother can be awarded custody if she agrees to get treatment for her addiction, this isn’t always possible.

A result of giving mothers custody over their children when they are addicted is it may endanger them physically, sexually, or emotionally and put their lives in danger (e.g., drunk driving). However, there are times where mothers might still retain custody after signing an agreement allowing them access to counseling for addictions as well as following through on getting help from these services (if necessary) .

4. Violating a Court Order

A mother’s custody rights can be lost or reduced should she violate a child custody order. When a parent disobeys their scheduled responsibilities, neglects court-ordered visitation times with the father, and interferes with his parental privileges they may face consequences such as losing legal custodial authority of her offspring.

If a shared custody agreement is ordered by the court, and she fails to comply or interferes with her co-parent’s parenting time, then she will be in violation of the court order.

Violations of court orders are like any other form of misconduct: the more serious the violation is, it should be treated with a correspondingly stronger punishment. Assume that a mother consistently misses deadlines for dropping off or picking up her child by only several minutes, this technically qualifies as violating an existing custody agreement but will rarely have drastic consequences on their custodial rights since these kinds of minor violations tend to carry minimal punishments in most cases.

A mother who decides that the court’s order providing specific parenting time is a suggestion and not a directive may violate their custody agreement. If this continues to happen, it could lead to losing custody of her child.

A father should keep a detailed log of every time his ex-wife interferes with or violates their court order. Every instance the mother keeps the child from him sabotages visitation plans, and more can be used against her in court to lessen her custody rights as punishment for causing havoc between them.

Fathers should be sure not to let the violations of a court order go without any consequences. The usual reason they do this is that they want to avoid conflict, but mothers will only see that as an opportunity for them to violate it more often and solidify in their minds that it’s just a suggestion instead of something she needs to follow.

5. Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is not just something that happens to other people. To protect your children, you should also know the signs of domestic violence that are exhibited by mothers. You do not have to put up with abuse and ensure that they stay safe from harm.

If a mother is deemed to be abusive, she can have her custody revoked. This will ensure that the children are not exposed to potentially harmful abuse and also protect them from potential future harm.

Domestic violence is emotional abuse that may turn physical with time. Children are in danger of being exposed to this if they come in contact with or spend significant time, living in the home. Courts are aware of this and will take action for your safety.

6. Severe Mental Health Issues

Mothers with mental health concerns still have the right to custody of their children, however, if a mother’s state endangers her child/children or compromises them in any way then she can lose that legal privilege.

In these cases, the court has to consider whether or not it is in their children’s best interests if they are left under a mother’s care. The father will have to show that her mental health issues compromise their safety and argue that without his presence, their well-being would be better protected. This can sometimes require extensive interviews by psychologists as well as counseling before any final decision being made so this process may take some time but should always remain fair for both parties involved.

Other ways considered by the Law for mothers to lose custody of their children:

  • Child Abduction
  • Parental Alienation
  • Lack of Involvement in the Child’s Care
  • Reporting Abuse by the Other Parent

The final and most important thing a mother can do is to seek the help of an attorney. There are many ways for mothers to lose custody of their children as a result of misconduct, but there are also attorneys that specialize in challenging such decisions. If you’re feeling like your child’s best interests may not be at risk due to this ruling, please contact one of our lawyers today. They will work hard on your behalf and make sure that your rights as a parent remain intact so that you have time to raise them with the love and care they deserve!

The post 6 Ways a Mother Can Lose Custody as a Result of Her Misconduct appeared first on Divorced Moms.


post-divorce anxiety in kids: anxious little boy sitting against a blue background

5 Ways To Ease Post-Divorce Anxiety In Kids

post-divorce anxiety in kids: anxious little boy sitting against a blue background


The stress of a divorce can manifest differently in children, just as it does in adults, and your kids will naturally experience some anxiety during this tough transition.

Age can be a factor in how they handle the stress. They may have big concerns about changing residences or schools, or how the holidays will change with two households—and anxiety around everyday stressors like test-taking can be exacerbated during this time.

The good news is there are ways that you can help relieve the pressure and help remove some of your child’s post-divorce anxiety.

Ways to Ease Post-Divorce Anxiety in Kids

Get Your Kids Moving

Encourage the same stress fighting activities in your children that you need for yourself. Make sure your kids are getting regular physical exercise, which gives them physiological benefits such as an endorphin boost and reduced anxiety.

Regularly participating in an after-school or community sports program or dance class can help kids get their minds off the divorce or other situational stressors that cause anxiety. Regular exercise doesn’t need to be expensive – you and your child can take walks or go running together, or even try out instructional YouTube videos on aerobic activities like Zumba or cardio kickboxing.

Spending that time together also is a great way to check-in with your child and offer the opportunity to talk about what’s causing them anxiety.

Test Time Can Trigger More Anxiety

The stress of a divorce can exacerbate the performance anxiety around testing that many children already have. Fear of failure can weigh on them heavily, particularly during a time when they may worry more about disappointing you.

Tests with higher stakes, such as final exams, can be even worse. Preparation is key. Talk with your kids and make sure you’re not making some of the most common mistakes on test day, such as not carefully reading directions. Prepping your kids before test day will help get them in the right mindset, as will a good night’s sleep and a decent breakfast.

Let them know your expectations are reasonable and that you’ll love them even if they fail. Knowing you’re there to support them will help ease the pressure.

Walk Through the Changes

If your divorce involves shared custody, your child may have some anxiety over living in two places. They may be getting used to a new room, a new house, or a new neighborhood in addition to the major changes in the family structure.

Whenever possible, involve your child in discussions about the new living arrangements. Let them help decorate their new bedroom, whether it’s choosing a new comforter or a paint color to help make it their own.

Ensure they have some familiar things in the new space, either permanently or in a bag that travels from place to place. Eventually, staying in both places will become a new kind of stability, especially when you help create a sense of normalcy and routine.

Keep a Lid on Conflict

Even the most civil of marital breakups has its moments where the soon-to-be-ex-spouses can’t agree. Even without arguing, the tension can be palpable. If you need to have it out with your ex, do your best to take the discussion out of view of your kids.

Never use your child as a go-between or an emissary. Parental conflict can make a child feel caught in the middle, and anxiety increases. Even parents who stay together can cause a great deal of anxiety in their kids if they display a lot of conflict, so take heart in knowing that even with the divorce, you can make things easier by keeping conflict out of view.

If conflict is unavoidable, be sure to give your children lots of emotional support following any confrontations.

Talk It Out

Sometimes kids might be afraid to talk about how the divorce is making them feel for fear of making things worse or causing you trouble. Be sure they know your door is open, and that they know their well-being is a top priority for you.

Ensure they understand that the divorce is not their fault—kids may internalize perceived actions and reactions, and feel guilty over the breakup. Let them know it’s okay to have a lot of different feelings, even positive ones, and help them articulate what they feel.

Their anxiety will lessen if they know it’s not wrong to feel or not feel a certain way, whatever that may be. They may have a lot of questions, and you should try to be prepared for ones about where they’ll live and how the divorce may impact their routine, even if the answer is “I don’t know yet.” You can assure them that you and your ex-spouse are working on all of the answers for them.

Divorce is highly disruptive to a child’s sense of stability, and assuring them you want to keep it as least disruptive as possible can help them regain some footing. Knowing that you’re a constant support in their lives can help them get through times when anxiety seems to grow.

The post 5 Ways To Ease Post-Divorce Anxiety In Kids appeared first on Divorced Moms.


The Impact of High-Conflict Divorce on Children | Signs of Parental Alienation and How to Prevent It

Divorce can be an emotionally challenging experience for all parties involved, especially when it is a high-conflict divorce. Unfortunately, when parents cannot come to an agreement, it can negatively affect their children, leading to parental alienation. In this article, we will explore the connection between high-conflict divorce and parental alienation, and what parents can do to prevent it.


How High-Conflict Divorce Can Affect Children


A high-conflict divorce can have a profound impact on a child’s mental health and well-being. Children may feel like they are caught in the middle of their parents’ disagreements and may start to blame themselves for their parents’ issues. Children may also feel like they have to choose between their parents, leading to loyalty conflicts. These issues can lead to anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems in children.


What is Parental Alienation?


Parental alienation occurs when one parent deliberately tries to turn their child against the other parent. This can be done in subtle or overt ways, such as badmouthing the other parent, limiting contact with the other parent, or manipulating the child to choose one parent over the other. This behavior is often a result of a high-conflict divorce, where one parent is trying to gain an advantage over the other in a custody battle.


Signs of Parental Alienation


Parental alienation can be difficult to detect, but there are some signs that may indicate that a child is experiencing it. Here are some common signs of parental alienation:

  1. Rejection of one parent: A child who is experiencing parental alienation may reject one parent without any valid reason. They may refuse to spend time with the parent, speak negatively about them, or even refuse to acknowledge their existence.
  2. Lack of guilt: A child who is being manipulated may not feel guilty for their behavior towards the alienated parent. They may feel justified in their rejection of the parent and believe that they are acting on their own.
  3. Inflexible allegiance: The child may be unreasonably loyal to the alienating parent, even in situations where the parent is clearly in the wrong. The child may take the alienating parent’s side in conflicts and refuse to listen to the other parent’s perspective.
  4. Fear or anxiety: A child who is experiencing parental alienation may feel anxious or fearful around the alienated parent. They may believe that they are betraying the alienating parent by spending time with the other parent.
  5. Lack of empathy: The child may show a lack of empathy towards the alienated parent, even if the parent is clearly suffering. They may seem indifferent to the parent’s feelings and needs.
  6. False accusations: In some cases, the child may make false accusations against the alienated parent, such as accusing them of abuse or neglect. These accusations may be part of the alienation campaign orchestrated by the other parent.


It is important to note that these signs may also be present in situations where there is no parental alienation. Therefore, it is essential to carefully evaluate the situation and seek professional help before making any assumptions.


Preventing Parental Alienation


Preventing parental alienation requires a collaborative effort between both parents. Here are some tips and strategies that can help prevent parental alienation:

  • Put the child’s best interests first: Both parents should prioritize their child’s well-being and put their own issues aside. It is essential to create a safe and stable environment for the child. This means focusing on what is best for the child, even if it means compromising or making sacrifices.
  • Communicate respectfully: Effective communication is crucial in co-parenting. Parents should try to communicate in a respectful and civil manner, without blaming or criticizing each other. This can help reduce tension and conflict and create a more positive co-parenting relationship.
  • Create a co-parenting plan: A co-parenting plan can help set clear expectations and boundaries for both parents. It should include a schedule for visitation, holidays, and other events, as well as guidelines for decision-making and conflict resolution. By establishing a plan, both parents can have a clear understanding of their roles and responsibilities, which can reduce conflict and promote cooperation.
  • Avoid badmouthing the other parent: It is crucial for parents to avoid speaking negatively about the other parent in front of the child. This can create confusion and negative emotions for the child, leading to parental alienation. Instead, both parents should focus on encouraging a positive relationship between the child and the other parent.
  • Encourage a positive relationship with the other parent: Parents should encourage their child to have a positive relationship with the other parent. This can be done by speaking positively about the other parent, facilitating communication, and supporting their relationship. It is important for the child to feel comfortable and supported in their relationship with both parents.
  • Seek professional help: Family therapy and counseling can be a valuable tool in preventing parental alienation. A qualified therapist can help both parents work through their issues and develop effective co-parenting strategies. Therapy can also provide a safe and neutral space for parents to communicate and resolve conflicts.




Parental alienation can have severe consequences on a child’s mental health and well-being, and it is often a result of a high-conflict divorce. However, by putting their child’s best interests first, communicating respectfully, and working together to create a stable and positive environment, parents can prevent parental alienation and support their child’s healthy development.

If you are struggling with the emotional toll of parental alienation

Our team of experienced counsellors can help you process your emotions and give you the strength you need to keep fighting.

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The post The Impact of High-Conflict Divorce on Children | Signs of Parental Alienation and How to Prevent It appeared first on The Nurturing Coach.


Purple and yellow rollercoaster

Surviving Divorce: Practical Tips for Coping with the Emotional Rollercoaster

Purple and yellow rollercoaster


Going through a divorce can be one of the most challenging times in a person’s life. It is a time of great upheaval and change, with many difficult decisions to be made, both practical and emotional.

Surviving divorce

Coping with the emotional rollercoaster of a divorce can be especially tough, but with the right mindset and support, it is possible to come out the other side stronger and more resilient. In this article, we will explore some practical tips for coping with the emotional rollercoaster that is divorce.

Allow yourself to grieve

The end of a marriage is a loss, and it is important to allow yourself to grieve. It is normal to feel a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and confusion. Try to give yourself permission to feel these emotions without judgment, and seek support from friends and family or a professional therapist if necessary.

Grief is a natural process that we experience when we lose something that was once an integral part of our lives. The end of a marriage can be especially painful, as it represents the loss of a partner, a shared future, and a way of life. It is important to allow yourself to grieve this loss and acknowledge the full range of emotions that come with it.

It is normal to experience a wide range of emotions when going through a divorce. At times, you may feel overwhelmed by sadness, anger, or confusion. These emotions can be intense and difficult to process. It is important to give yourself permission to feel these emotions without judgment. Allow yourself to cry, scream, or do whatever else you need to do to express your feelings.

Take care of yourself

Divorce can take a toll on your physical health, so it is important to prioritize self-care during this time. Make sure to eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep. Taking care of your physical health can also have a positive impact on your mental health, helping you to feel more resilient and better able to cope with the challenges of divorce.

Taking care of yourself during a divorce is not just important for your physical health but also for your mental and emotional well-being. It is common for people going through a divorce to experience high levels of stress and anxiety, which can lead to a variety of health problems such as headaches, gastrointestinal issues, and weakened immune systems. That is why it is crucial to prioritize self-care during this time to help your body recover and remain strong.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to focus on healthy eating habits. Eating a balanced diet that includes plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and healthy fats can give you the nutrients and energy you need to stay physically and mentally healthy. Additionally, regular exercise is a powerful stress reliever that can help reduce anxiety, boost your mood, and improve your sleep. Find an exercise routine that works for you, whether it’s a brisk walk, yoga, or a fitness class, and make it a regular part of your self-care routine.

Find a support system

Going through a divorce can be isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out to friends and family members who can offer emotional support and a listening ear. Consider joining a divorce support group or seeking the help of a professional therapist. Having a support system can help you feel less alone and provide a safe space to process your feelings.

Finding a support system during a divorce is crucial for your emotional and mental well-being. Going through a divorce can feel like a lonely and isolating experience, especially if you don’t have a strong support system in place. However, it is important to remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. Your friends and family can be a great source of support and comfort during this challenging time. Reach out to them, and let them know how you are feeling. Sometimes, simply talking to someone who cares can make all the difference.

Practice self-compassion

Divorce can bring up feelings of self-doubt and self-criticism, but it is important to practice self-compassion during this time. Be kind to yourself and try to speak to yourself in the same way you would speak to a friend who is going through a difficult time. Remember that you are not alone and that many people go through divorce and come out the other side stronger and more resilient.

Focus on the future

While it can be difficult to imagine life after divorce, it is important to try to focus on the future and the possibilities that lie ahead. Set goals for yourself, whether they are related to your career, personal life, or other areas. Having something to work towards can help you stay focused and give you a sense of purpose and direction.

Going through a divorce can leave you feeling lost and unsure about the future. However, focusing on the future can help you to move forward and create a positive outlook for yourself. Setting goals for yourself is a powerful way to start imagining a life beyond divorce. By identifying what you want to achieve and working towards it, you can begin to build a sense of purpose and direction.

When setting goals, it is important to choose things that are realistic and achievable. This could be anything from improving your physical fitness, taking up a new hobby, or pursuing a new career opportunity. The key is to choose things that are meaningful and motivating to you, and that will help you build the life you want after divorce.

Set boundaries

Divorce can be an emotionally charged time, with many difficult conversations and interactions with your ex-spouse. It is important to set clear boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. This could mean limiting communication with your ex-spouse or setting ground rules for how you will interact. Remember that it is okay to say no to requests that feel unreasonable or overwhelming.

During a divorce, it is essential to prioritize your emotional well-being, which includes setting boundaries. Setting clear boundaries with your ex-spouse can help you avoid unnecessary stress and conflicts. This could mean limiting the frequency and mode of communication between you and your ex-spouse or setting specific ground rules for how you will interact.

It is important to communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively and to be prepared to enforce them. This might mean refusing to engage in certain types of conversation or activities that you feel are hurtful or unproductive. It may be difficult to set boundaries at first, especially if you and your ex-spouse have a history of blurred boundaries or codependency. However, setting boundaries is crucial to your emotional health and can help you move on with your life in a healthy way.

Take a break from social media

Social media can be a minefield during a divorce, with constant reminders of your ex-spouse and their life without you. Consider taking a break from social media, or at least unfollowing or muting your ex-spouse’s accounts for a period of time. This can help you focus on your own healing and avoid unnecessary triggers that can make coping with the emotional fallout of divorce even more challenging.

Social media has become an integral part of our daily lives, and it can be a useful tool for staying connected with others. However, during a divorce, it can also be a source of stress and anxiety. Seeing photos or updates of your ex-spouse moving on with their life can be difficult to process, and it can also trigger feelings of jealousy or resentment.

Taking a break from social media can be a helpful step in managing the emotional fallout of divorce. By unplugging from social media, even for a short period of time, you can give yourself the space to process your emotions without being constantly reminded of your ex-spouse. This can help you focus on your own healing and moving forward.

If you find that you cannot completely disengage from social media, consider unfollowing or muting your ex-spouse’s accounts. This can help to minimize the reminders of them in your daily life and avoid potential triggers. If you do choose to remain active on social media, be mindful of the content you post and the people you interact with. Avoid engaging in negative or emotionally charged interactions online, and instead focus on using social media in a positive and uplifting way.

Seek legal advice

Divorce can be a complex legal process, and it is important to seek the advice of a qualified attorney to help you navigate the process. An attorney can provide guidance on issues related to property division, child custody, and alimony. Having a knowledgeable and experienced professional on your side can help reduce stress and anxiety and ensure that your rights and interests are protected.

In conclusion, navigating the emotional rollercoaster of divorce can be an arduous journey, but it is important to remember that it is not an insurmountable one. You are capable of making it through this difficult period in your life and emerging on the other side even stronger than before. The practical tips discussed above, such as allowing yourself to grieve, prioritizing self-care, and finding a support system, can help you manage the emotional fallout of divorce.

Remember that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you through this challenging time, including family, friends, support groups, and professionals. Don’t be afraid to seek help when you need it. It’s okay to ask for assistance and support when you need it.

Finally, it is important to keep in mind that this period in your life does not define you. You have the power to create a bright future for yourself, filled with joy and fulfillment. By focusing on your own self-care, setting boundaries, and embracing new opportunities, you can move forward from divorce with renewed energy and optimism. Remember that healing takes time, but with patience and persistence, you will emerge from this experience stronger and more resilient than ever before.

The post Surviving Divorce: Practical Tips for Coping with the Emotional Rollercoaster appeared first on Divorced Moms.





The Nevada Judicial Selection Commission (NJSC) sent this idiot’ name to the Governor for consideration for the Family Court Bench.


I wrote a letter of opposition against him and I did public speaking in opposition. But they had 4 applicants and they had to send 3 names to the Governor. This idiot barely made the cut… The NJSC should have done an impasse.


Here is the Letter sent:


January 16, 2023


To: Nevada Commission on Judicial Selection

RE: Jason Stoffel


The last thing that the Clark County Family Court needs is another prejudiced “judge” focused more on the enrichment of crony attorneys than on the best interests of the child.”

Veterans In Politics International (VIPI) would like to make sure that there are no corrupt judges on the bench – especially in Family Court. That is why we do our best to expose every single candidate we believe is bad for the citizens of Clark County.

If Stoffel is appointed, he will become just another toxic, robe-wearing crony puppet utilized by corrupt family lawyers to line their pockets, enrich court-connected experts, financially rape families, harm children, sadistically abuse litigants and their children, and generally abuse the legal process in the Courts for profit under the protection of sealed cases where their reprehensible actions are shielded from exposure.

Not long ago, VIPI welcomed Stoffel with open arms. We invited him to many of our events and functions and we even referred multiple people to Stoffel to help them with their cases.

But as it turned out, Stoffel is a spineless sycophant. As soon as VIPI began exposing unethical behavior and corruption in family court, Stoffel was presented with a choice and decided to sell out and align with the corrupt snakes who infest the Family Court, namely his idol attorney Marshal Willick who he notoriously fawns over and never fails to brown nose.

Willick seems to have a Svengali-Esque power over Stoffel. Another way we believe Stoffel demonstrated his allegiance to Willick was by using his position as President of the Clark County Bar Association to ban our organization from the “Meet your Judge Mixer”, which we had previously attended for years without incident. (See article: Banned Meet Your Judge Mixers – A Broken System!)

As a reward for selling his soul to the corrupt “racketeers” of the Family Court, Stoffel has been rewarded by Willick and his fiancée and partner in slime, attorney Jennifer Abrams with much ado, praise, and adoration through their online troll/bully/harassment front groups “Nevada Court Watchers” (NCW), “NCW PAC”.

You can safely bet that Marshal Willick, his fiancée, and the other “lawyers” at The Willick Law Group won’t be on Stoffel’s recusal list despite their deep-seated relationship, however, any lawyer whose client’s case is assigned to Stoffel, where Willick, Abrams, or any of their staff is opposing counsel would be foolish to not use preempt Stoffel, who we believe would be a “judge” effectively controlled by Willick.

VIPI did not endorse Stoffel in the Primary of the 2014 campaign, but we supported him in the General election campaign against the incumbent, Judge Vincent Ochoa. During that campaign, Stoffel provided us with a wealth of information related to Ochoa’s son, Vicente Marcus Ochoa, who had robbed a balloon store during Judge Ochoa’s reelection campaign. (See article: Las Vegas Police Make Arrest In West Valley Party Supply Store Armed Robbery)

Stoffel also advised us to look into Judge Ochoa’s disregard of Nevada Custody Laws in a radio interview with attorney Michele LoBello on AM720 (See article: Vincent Ochoa Family Court Judge Admitted to Violating Nevada Custody Laws ).

The feud between incumbent Judge Ochoa and Stoffel escalated when Ochoa confronted Stoffel regarding Stoffel’s allegations of the judge sleeping behind the bench and dozing off at a Veterans In Politics Endorsement Interview. This eventually culminated in a bar fight between the two candidates. (See article: Quarrel At A Bar Leads To Family Court Judge’s Removal From Custody Case.)

In 2016, Stoffel was sued by his client, Russell Zitch, for malpractice, breach of contract, negligent hiring, and infliction of emotional distress, however, the lawsuit was dismissed due to the Statute of limitations. (See Eighth Judicial District Court, case # A-16-738562-C, Though the time for the court to hear the malpractice case expired, it is clear that Stoffel’s client had substantive issues with his performance as an attorney.

In addition, it is clear that Stoffel’s inability to control his temper to the point of getting into a physical altercation with the incumbent judge during his previous election campaign makes Stoffel an excellent candidate for psychiatric evaluation, but a lousy candidate for a judge, much less a judge adjudicating cases related to the best interests of children.

Speaking of children, it stands to reason that decisions involving parent/child issues should probably be decided by someone that has children!

Stoffel has never had the experience of being a parent but is expected to understand the concerns and anguish that some of the parents appearing before him.


The last thing that the Clark County Family Court needs is another prejudiced “judge” focused more on the enrichment of crony attorneys than on the best interests of the child.

Respectfully Submitted By;


Steve Sanson

President of Veterans In Politics International,

President of Veterans In Politics Foundation,

President of Nevada Veterans Association,

Host and Founder of Veterans In Politics Video Internet Talk-show,

US Marine Corps Disabled Gulf War Veteran

US Army Logistics

PO BOX 28211, Las Vegas, Nv. 89126

702 283 8088



Click on the video below:

David Schoen Paralegal The Abrams Law Firm & Nevada Court Watchers Facebook Administrator confronted


angry bio mom

5 Tips For Stepparents When Dealing With An Angry Bio Parent

angry bio mom

It is incredibly hard to show respect to someone who treats you with disrespect.


One of the most difficult aspects of being a stepparent is the relationship you will have with your stepchildren’s other bio parent. If you are lucky, the other bio parent will be civil and willing to work with you in a manner that makes parenting easy for you both.

In some cases, the stepparent doesn’t get lucky and has to deal with a bio parent/ex-spouse who stirs the pot and causes conflict between the stepparent and stepchildren. An angry bio parent/ex-spouse can cause tension as you and your new spouse attempt to build a healthy blended family.

Although you have little control over how a bio parent/ex-spouse behaves, your attitude can make dealing with any obstacles thrown your way easier to keep your focus on the family and not on the problems caused by an angry bio parent/ex-spouse.

3 Things For Stepparents To Keep In Mind When Dealing With An Angry Bio Parent

Never speak negatively of the other parent in front of your stepchildren.

Your bond will deepen with your stepchildren if you never speak negatively about their other parent. You may not like your new spouse’s ex but, remember, your stepchildren have a deep and life-long bond with both their parents. If you attack the bio parent verbally or negatively in front of the children not only do you damage your relationship with your stepchildren, you damage the emotional well-being of your stepchildren.

Treat your stepchildren’s other parent with respect.

It is incredibly hard to show respect to someone who treats you with disrespect. When you consider the fact that your stepchildren are watching, that pill may not be so hard to swallow. If you put effort into responding to the bio parent/ex-spouse’s anger with kindness you not only move closer to de-escalating conflict, you set a valuable example for your stepchildren to use in their own lives when faced with conflict resolution.

Finding it hard to comprehend showing respect to someone you feel is a detriment to your family, new marriage, and their own children? Below are a few suggestions:

  • Never make decisions regarding the bio parent’s children without first consulting them.
  • Keep the bio parent informed of child-related issues when the children are in your custody.
  • Don’t engage or get in the middle of any conflict between your new spouse and the bio parent.
  • Remain calm and neutral regardless of what kind of conflict the bio parent starts.
  • Turn and walk away if the bio parent should try to engage you in conflict.
  • Always greet the bio parent with a smile and pleasant attitude.

Make sure your stepchildren know you understand how much they love both their parents.

Never put your stepchildren in the position of being afraid of talking about or missing their other bio parent. Show them that they are safe in their feelings and expressions for both their parents and that you are secure enough in your place as their stepparent to share that love.

Your stepchildren are better served if they are sheltered from conflict between parents and stepparents. The less they know, the more secure they will feel in building a bond with you and in the new blended family.

Encourage your new spouse to treat their ex with civility regardless of how that causes you to feel.

You may not like the idea of your new spouse communicating with their ex but, they are co-parenting children and, regardless of how you feel, what is best for the children trumps your feelings. Nothing promotes conflict like parents who refuse to cooperatively co-parent after divorce. You are in a position of encouraging your new spouse to also treat their ex with respect. Use your position wisely!

Find a healthy way to cope with the stress and angry bio parent/ex-spouse can cause.

Although it is important you don’t do anything to promote or extend conflict, it’s also important you not stuff your feelings of anger and resentment toward the bio parent/ex-spouse. You are in a position of needing to find a way to express your feelings that won’t cause harm to the blended family you are trying to build and bond with.

You, of course, have your new spouse but, they have their own negative feelings to work through also. You two may be able to help each other by communicating about the problem in a healthy manner. But, be sure your communication doesn’t make the matter worse by stoking fires of anger.

If you don’t feel safe communicating with your new spouse or, feel you would be adding to their level of stress find a close friend or relative you trust and vent your frustrations. And, if push comes to shove seek out the help of a therapist to help you work through any negative impact the bio parent/ex-spouse may be having in your life and on your role as a stepparent.

Being a stepparent is rewarding and, at the same time difficult if an outside influence causes drama. It has been my experience that if you don’t engage in drama, drama soon dies out. As cliché as it sounds, take the high road if you are faced with an angry bio parent/ex-spouse.

The post 5 Tips For Stepparents When Dealing With An Angry Bio Parent appeared first on Divorced Moms.


asian mother hugging and comforting her sad son

3 Tips For Helping Children Understand Divorce

asian mother hugging and comforting her sad son


Going through a divorce is difficult, no matter the situation. Even if things ended amicably, it’s a stressful and emotional time. If things didn’t end so well, it can be crushing, devastating, and overwhelming.

Divorce is hard enough on its own, but it can be even more difficult to get through when children are involved. Parents tend to have to focus on things like custody battles and doing what’s best for their children as the divorce is finalized.

But, it’s also important to remember that you’re not the only one going through the divorce.

Helping Children Understand Divorce

While you might be discussing your children’s future in court or with your soon-to-be-ex, don’t make the mistake of not talking directly to them, too. They might not understand the full scope of what a divorce entails, but kids are perceptive and curious. If their lives are changing in any way, explaining it to them can make a big difference in their mental well-being.

So, how can you help them understand divorce in an age-appropriate way?

The Initial Conversation

A divorce shouldn’t be something that’s kept a secret from your child. You don’t need to go into the details, but they need to know what’s happening and how it will affect them. If you have a particularly anxious child, it’s easy for them to come up with worst-case scenarios. They might struggle with the idea of not seeing a parent again, or thinking that they did something wrong.

Commit to having a long conversation with your child about the divorce and what they can expect. Obviously, the tone of your conversation will be different depending on their age, but keep the following tips in mind as you talk about it:

  • Tell them the truth in a simple and honest way
  • Reassure them that you love them
  • Address any changes that might happen

Undoubtedly, your child will have questions. One of the best things you can do is to listen to them. If they’re young, help them find words and ways to express their true feelings. Don’t make them feel fearful or hesitant about sharing those feelings or telling their the truth.

Telling your kids about the divorce isn’t a one-time thing. You won’t have a singular conversation and then wipe your hands clean of the topic. It should be an ongoing conversation, even if that means checking in with them periodically to ask how they’re feeling about it. That consistent reassurance, love, and security will go a long way with kids of all ages.

The Importance of Co-Parenting

Co-parenting can be one of the most difficult things to do. It forces you to regularly communicate with your ex. If you didn’t always see eye-to-eye in the marriage, that can be a serious source of stress as you move forward.

But, a healthy co-parenting relationship is what’s best for your child. It will reduce their stress levels and provide them with a greater sense of security.

Child custody laws are set in place for a reason. In your finalized divorce statement, a decision will be made regarding custody. Often it’s a 50/50 split. Sometimes, however, the child will spend the majority of their time with one parent while the other receives visitation rights. It’s important to be a united front on this when discussing it with your child. Talk about living arrangements, what they can expect, and ask them for their opinion.

Older kids can declare their preference in child custody. Some states take that into account more than others from a legal standpoint. From a co-parenting point of view, however, it’s important to honor what your child wants while still deciding what’s best for them, overall.

For example, maybe you really want 50/50 custody, but you work long hours and would have to leave your child with a babysitter much of the time. Or, maybe you’re planning on moving out of state for work or to get a fresh start. So, as hard as it can be to admit, they would likely be better off with their other parent most of the time.

If they’re older and express that they want to live with their other parent, that can be a hard pill to swallow. But, if it’s truly what they want, it’s important to respect those wishes so you don’t force a relationship that could turn into something resentful. Instead of forcing things, offer more communication, like video chats or daily phone calls to help you stay connected without changing your child’s living arrangements.

How to Help Them Cope

Some children will handle divorce better than others. But, even if it appears your child is doing well, don’t make assumptions. Instead, make their life as normal and familiar as possible. Some of the best ways of helping them cope include:

  • Not speaking negatively about their other parent
  • Not forcing them to “choose sides”
  • Keeping a routine or their normal schedule in place
  • Not exposing them to conflicts
  • Always allowing them to express how they feel

Don’t forget to take care of yourself throughout this process. As the old saying goes, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. A divorce is emotionally draining. Finding time for self-care will give you the mental strength you need to provide your child with the love, reassurance, and care they need each day as both of you navigate the waters of a new chapter.

The post 3 Tips For Helping Children Understand Divorce appeared first on Divorced Moms.


Legislation Against Reunification “Therapy” Services Being Presented Through The New Hampshire House Of Representatives

I wish to comment on the fraud being perpetrated by family courts across the country who are, in the estimation of the experts associated with the Foundation for Child Victims of the Family Courts, officers of courts engaged in child trafficking via the transfer of children into the custody of individuals known and evidenced to […]

The post Legislation Against Reunification “Therapy” Services Being Presented Through The New Hampshire House Of Representatives first appeared on Foundation for Child Victims of the Family Courts.