adult children of divorce & thanksgiving

Adult Children Of Divorce & Thanksgiving: You Have To Do a Lot Of Tap-Dancing

adult children of divorce & thanksgiving

 

When I was a kid, we always had really big Thanksgiving celebrations—loud, crowded dinners where aunts and uncles and distant cousins five-times removed would eat too much and tell dirty jokes that went right over my head.

I loved the noise and the chaos and the attention my brother and I got as the only kids in the group. We would put on an original Thanksgiving skit (with costumes) or perform some made-up rap song about turkeys. Then revel in the audibly wet lipstick kisses of great-aunts, and the perfunctory attention from cool teenage cousins that always smelled a little bit like cigarettes.

My divorced parents always came together on Thanksgiving. My dad and my grandma were invited guests to the mayhem. I know that I was lucky, of course. Most divorced parents can’t even be in the same room with each other—mine were a united front for our birthdays and holidays and soccer games.

Every Sunday, we had dinner at the same neutral-ground restaurant for the joint custody hand-off. We even visited the Grand Canyon together. I was glad that my parents weren’t married anymore, and never held out hope of reconciliation. I didn’t want that. They were such good friends and strong co-parents—their divorce had been relatively easy on us.

When I was 14, my dad remarried. Our stepmom was caring and involved and wanted to be like family to us, but she was also young and jealous and didn’t like my mom. So, there went that friendship between my parents.

No more Sunday dinners or family vacations. And Thanksgiving was split into two—we’d spend the day and dinner with my mom’s family and then leave early to get to my dad’s house by dessert.

I’d still get the raucous meals with my funny, inappropriate uncles, and my dad’s signature pecan pie later, but it was all fractured, hurried. We were always half-there.

I knew how much my mom hated rushing us to our dad’s before the dinner plates had even been cleared. I knew how much my dad wished we could spend the day watching football with him and helping his wife cook her chef-quality food.

They both felt our absence, and we felt their low-grade heartache. And there wasn’t anything we could do about it. All of that love from our parents, that need to be with us as much as they could—for that, we were so grateful. It also made it that much sadder.

The holidays always came with an underlying tension, some pot that was bound to bubble over.

One parent or the other was always disappointed and it was impossible for them to hide it. I always felt guilty, like somehow it was my fault we couldn’t be in two places at once. I’d be tap-dancing and smooth-talking, trying to soften any sadness with “we’re here now!” enthusiasm.

Later, when my brother and I were adults living in New York, we sometimes felt relieved when we couldn’t make it home for Thanksgiving—no one’s feelings to hurt.

I don’t think divorce is the end of the world, even when you have kids. I think some couples simply can’t make it work, and when that happens, it’s best for everyone if they go their separate ways. Amicably, if they can.

I think everyone in my family is happier than we would be had they stayed together. I can’t even imagine them married now. I can’t even figure out how they got together, to begin with.

That being said, when you’re a child of divorce, you’re always a child of divorce.

At a young age, you’re so busy trying to protect your parents’ feelings, you’re not even sure what you want anymore. You feel like it’s your job to shield them from any hurt because you must love them more than anyone else.

I’m not sure why it happens, but I know many grown children of divorce who still feel this way—make each parent happy first, deal with your needs second. And, still, it’s never enough. Sometimes a parent asks for what they really want, often they don’t. But we know better. We can read the subtext.

Adult Children of Divorce & Thanksgiving

I thought that once I became an adult with my own family, I’d get over it.

Nope.

In fact, I think it’s just gotten worse. For the last several years, we’ve been eating two Thanksgiving dinners—one right after the other, my dad’s house and then my mom’s. The first year we did it, I ended the night with my head over a toilet bowl, puking my guts out.

At least I got to see everyone, right?

So, last year, we decided to host Thanksgiving dinner at our house. No shuttling our kids around town, gorging ourselves on double helpings of turkey and mashed potatoes.

No need to explain that the macaroni and cheese is terrific, but we’re saving room for my mom’s stuffing later.

No need to explain that yes, this second dinner is as delicious as the first but, see, those yams from our 1:00 meal are still sitting like a rock in our stomachs. Yep, this year, we invited everyone to come to us. We’re doing this once, and all are welcome.

But not everyone came. It was a nice thought, I guess, but apparently unrealistic.

When you’re grown, it’s tough to get your whole family together for Thanksgiving, even without divorce. My brother was with his wife’s family. Still, I wished for the sake of my little boys that their Gaga and Papa could have sat at the same table.

My dad could have brought his girlfriend and her family and they wouldn’t have felt awkward about it. My parents could have shared in their love for their grandchildren at least, talked about their high cholesterol, gabbed about the USA shows they both seem to love. It’s a child’s need. I know that. But maybe it’s my need as a mother too.

When we sat down at our Thanksgiving table, I loved seeing my sons wearing their silly turkey hats, reveling in the attention and the food and the family. It was perfectly OK that not everyone we love was there to see it.

The post Adult Children Of Divorce & Thanksgiving: You Have To Do a Lot Of Tap-Dancing appeared first on Divorced Moms.

Read More –>

Why You Should Always Consider Mediation Before Litigating a Divorce

Divorce is a complex process that can bring feelings of anger or sadness to everyone involved. Conflict in the divorce can mean more emotional and economic pain, for the litigants and any children involved.

Mediating a divorce is an excellent decision to help avoid an expensive legal battle and reduce that stress by providing the parties to the suit with more control over the case’s outcome.

Learn why mediation is better than divorce, then contact our Dallas divorce mediation attorneys for more information.

Divorce Mediation Overview

Divorce mediation allows separating couples to meet with a neutral third party, with or without counsel, to resolve any issues or items of contention in a divorce. Mediation is preferable to litigation because it is less upsetting and almost always less expensive. Divorce mediation also usually allows the parties to finish their case quicker than a standard divorce.

Another important benefit to mediation is that you and your partner have the ultimate say—subject to agreement and the confines of the law—over your contested issues. Outside of extreme circumstances when mediation may not be the best course of action, any agreement reached in mediation is binding on the Court. This means that you both can keep the power and control over your relationship, and the Court is not making ordering things that no one asked for.

How Mediation Works

Divorce mediation starts when you and your partner agree and select a mediator, or the Court appoints one. While divorce mediation is voluntary in most states, Texas courts have the power to order the parties to mediate their case. This is the limit to what the Court can do, as the Court cannot force parties to reach agreements.

While mediation is highly successful in resolving cases, it is most effective when both parties are willing to negotiate their contentious divorce issues. Usually, the mediator will set up an appointment in a neutral setting with the spouses (and counsel, if any). During this initial meeting, the spouses can talk about their views on common divorce topics that, include:

  • Division of assets
  • Child visitation and custody
  • Child support
  • Alimony

The first discussion helps your mediator to understand how realistic a possible resolution to the case is via mediation. As a further means of “keeping the peace” during these sessions, the mediator will generally have each side in a separate room (or Zoom room, if being done electronically).

There is no time limit on divorce mediation in Texas. Everyone can continue working with the mediator to reach an agreement until an agreement is reached, or the process becomes unworkable. If the issues are too complex or the conflict is too high for agreements to be reached, litigation is still possible. Still, mediation is almost always less expensive than a lengthy divorce fought out in the courts. Parties can save thousands of dollars—and ever-valuable time—by resolving their case through mediation.

Is Mediation An Option?

Mediation is possible if there is a chance you and your partner will agree to the terms of a divorce. Also, both sides need to be open on finances, and agreement is required on child custody matters. However, mediation is not usually advisable if there is a history of domestic violence.

Contact Our Dallas Divorce Mediation Attorneys Today

Divorce is painful, and a contentious divorce can be emotionally and financially devastating. Everyone is better off when both sides can agree to divorce terms without an extended legal quarrel. Divorce mediation is a great choice to reach these agreements, whether the issues are alimony, child custody, or division of property.

The Dallas divorce mediation attorneys at Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson can help with mediating your divorce to bring your case to an agreeable conclusion without a lengthy legal battle. Our attorneys are proud to serve the communities of Dallas, Fort Worth, Frisco, and San Antonio. Please contact our Dallas divorce mediation attorneys at (214) 273-2400.

The post Why You Should Always Consider Mediation Before Litigating a Divorce appeared first on ONDA Family Law.

Read More –>

Is military disability pay a marital asset?

If you are a military veteran who has a service-connected disability, then you may be able to receive disability payments from the Department of Veterans Affairs. How VA disability can impact a divorce case in Texas is what we are going to be discussing in today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Subjects as diverse as child support calculations, spousal maintenance, and community property division may be impacted by your eligibility for VA disability payments. Understanding the relationship between these areas of your divorce is important considering that there is a small margin for error in any divorce case.

If you have a service-connected VA disability rating of at least 10% then you are entitled to VA disability payments. Your military retirement will be reduced on a dollar-by-dollar basis if your disability rating is under 50%. So, why would you want to waive VA retirement benefits to receive VA disability benefits? The two primary reasons why disability benefits may be preferable to retirement benefits are due to disability benefits not being subject to division in a divorce and disability benefits are not taxable.

How can you apply for VA disability benefits?

Just because you have a service-connected disability through the military does not mean that you will automatically receive VA disability payments. Rather, you need to follow the process that the military has laid out for veterans and active-duty service members to apply for and receive VA disability benefits. While some people in your position will apply for and receive disability benefits at the same, they that they separate from the military, there is no deadline to apply for disability. It could be years later that you first apply for disability benefits and receive them.

What this means for your divorce is that you should not assume that just because your spouse is not receiving benefits at this moment, he or she will not begin to receive them in the future. The VA will pay on any person’s claim who can prove that he or she has a service-connected disability rating of between 10 and 100%. Depending on whether you have a spouse and children you can receive a monthly disability payment from the VA of over $3,500 per month.

Backdoor division of VA disability benefits

As we have already discussed, VA disability benefits are not divisible in a divorce as community property. Once the funds are deposited into a jointly held bank account then disability payments may potentially be divided in a divorce. What we are describing here is something called “commingling” where separate property and community property are placed together. Rather, it would be wise for you to segregate your separate prop (like VA disability) into a bank account that will never have community property funds within it. This way you can be sure that the bank account in question will never have an issue with commingled funds.

How can VA disability impact decisions on child support and spousal maintenance?

The questions about child support and spousal maintenance revolve around income. VA disability benefits do count as income when it comes to calculating child support or spousal maintenance. As opposed to the community estate, disability benefits from the VA can be a part of a veteran’s income for purposes of setting child support.

For alimony or spousal maintenance purposes, Texas is an outlier among the rest of the 49 states in our union. Texas family courts will typically not consider VA disability payments as income for calculating spousal maintenance.

Can VA disability payments be garnished for child support and alimony?

Wage garnishment in Texas typically takes place via a wage withholding order. A wage withholding order is usually submitted to an obligor spouse or parent’s employer after a child custody or divorce case. In that way, the employer will know how much money to withhold to pay child support each month.

Military disability benefits cannot be treated as community property in a Texas divorce. Let’s look at a case where a husband filed an appeal from his divorce arguing that the court incorrectly divided up his military disability benefits.

In that case, the wife had filed for divorce. In her Original Petition for Divorce, this woman argued that she should receive a disproportionate share of the community estate for a variety of reasons. Her income was much less than her husband’s, she had no advanced education and she had no separate property from before the marriage. Ultimately, the divorce court awarded her more than half of her husband’s military retirement benefits. Her husband immediately appealed the decision.

The husband’s main argument was that in awarding his wife 55% of her military retirement pay, the court had included disability benefits in that equation. The wife argued that this was not the case and that the final decree of divorce awarded him his military disability and Social Security disability benefits as a part of his separate estate.

What did the final decree of divorce say, exactly?

The language as contained in their final decree of divorce stated that the wife was to be awarded fifty-five percent of the husband’s disposable military retired pay including any accrued unpaid bonuses, disability plan, or benefits. Under awards to the husband, the same language was used. A domestic relations order was drafted to divide up the military benefits and included stated that only disposable retired pay could be considered community property. Military disability pay would not count as military benefits for division in the divorce.

What did the appellate court say?

When the husband appealed the trial court orders it went to an appellate court here in Texas. The final decree of divorce contained an award for the husband of his military disability and Social Security disability benefits as separate property. The appellate court found the definition of disposable retired pay did exclude military disability pay. As a result, the appellate court found that the trial court did not make a mistake and award any of the husband’s disability benefits.

Dividing up marital property in a Texas divorce is not easy

The subject of community property division in a Texas divorce arises with a great deal of regularity. It is also complicated- more complicated than many guides on the internet will lead you to believe. One of the most difficult aspects of community property division to figure out for many couples has to do with how government benefits are divided up. It could be a teacher’s retirement or military retirement, there are methods of calculating what percentage of these benefits can be divided in the divorce that relate to your length of service as well as how many years of marriage coincided with that length of service.

Veterans’ benefits, including military benefits, are no different. Special rules apply that will determine how your military benefits will be divided in the divorce and whether they are even subject to division. We have already seen how military disability benefits are not divisible by a Texas family court. Additionally, because of the example that we shared in the earlier section of today’s blog post hopefully, you can understand just how critical it is to make sure that your final decree of divorce is worded clearly and unambiguously. The result, if you don’t, is to prolong the case and put you in a position where you spend money that otherwise would not have to.

Military benefits are done through federal law and Texas law determines how property is divided in a divorce. Your attorney will need to be able to divide up those benefits correctly and understand how state and federal law treat these subjects. It is a bad situation to find yourself in when your final decree of divorce is not correct. This will cost you time, money, and stress that otherwise would not need to be spent. Hiring an experienced family law attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan is a great way to help ensure that you do not find yourself in this position moving forward.

Our attorneys and staff have been fortunate enough to be able to represent members of our military and veterans alike in their divorce cases since our office was first opened. In addition, military spouses are among the most frequently seen clients of our office. Texas is home to many military members and veterans, and we are honored whenever we have the opportunity to work with military families to help you all accomplish your goals during a difficult time. Contact us today for a free-of-charge consultation with one of the experienced family law attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan.

Military retirement benefits

Military pensions can be subject to division in your divorce. If the pension was contributed to during your marriage, then those portions of the military benefits will be divisible in the divorce. Any portion that was contributed before the marriage will count as separate property and will not be divisible. The tricky part for you and your spouse will be to determine how much of the military retirement benefits are community property and then how to divide up that community property portion of your benefits.

At the time of your divorce, the military pension becomes frozen. Once you or your spouse file for divorce the pension’s value will be what it was on the date of filing. The reason why this law is in place is that it would be possible for a military spouse to take advantage of their spouse being promoted during the divorce and then be eligible to receive more money as a result of that promotion. Cost-of-living adjustments are typically allowed during a divorce, but the pension amount stays steady where it was at the beginning of the case.

The bottom line is while a military divorce will follow the same procedures and processes as a civilian divorce, there are specific areas where a military divorce can differ from a civilian divorce, as well. The length of your marriage, while you were serving in the military, will also make a difference when calculating benefits.

If you are married to a military member, then the length of your marriage will have a tremendous impact on your ability to receive benefits. Simply put, if you and your spouse have been married for less than 10 years then you should not expect to receive much of anything in the divorce as far as military benefits. As you are probably aware, Texas is a community property state which means that debts and property accumulated during the marriage will be subject to division in the divorce.

You and your spouse need to have been married for at least 10 years to become eligible for military retirement pay. In addition, the ten years of your marriage must have overlapped with 10 years of military service to qualify. This is different from a civilian divorce where a spouse would be eligible to receive a portion of their spouse’s retirement benefits upon divorce no matter the length of the marriage.

As soon as you and your spouse have been married for ten years you would become eligible to receive a portion of your spouse’s retirement pay. Here are a few benchmarks to keep in mind as far as retirement pay is concerned. At 15 years, you would be eligible to receive half of the retirement pay and one year of health insurance after the divorce comes to an end. Once you have been married for twenty years or longer you would be eligible for half of the retirement pay, health insurance, and other benefits available through the military. The health insurance would go away once you remarried, however.

The importance of hiring an experienced family law attorney in a military divorce

You need to include the specific language that the military requires to receive the correct amount of retirement benefits. Your final decree of divorce should include whatever language the military mandates be included in these orders. Failing to include this language in the order can ruin your chances of receiving the property that you worked so hard to obtain in your divorce. You should be accurate when listing how long you or your spouse served in the military and how long your marriage was.

The government will send the orders back to you if not completed correctly. Keep in mind that this will cost you time in that the attorney will have to go back and correct their work. On top of that, the extra time and effort that it takes to correct these mistakes will cost you time and money. This is adding insult to injury and makes it very difficult to be able to budget for a divorce or plan for your life after the divorce has come to an end. Able to say accurately this is when the divorce ended and here the financial consequences of the divorce are an important part of the case for peace of mind’s sake.

No matter how long you and your spouse were married, if he or she won’t be retiring for another twenty years then you will have to wait a while to get the money promised to you in the divorce. Your spouse may become the person who must pay you the retirement pay when it does come time for those payments to be made. This sounds ok at the time of your divorce but can become cumbersome ultimately for a person in your shoes given that you have no idea what will become of your spouse after the divorce.

If your ex-spouse does not pay you the correct amount of money at retirement you will need to keep tabs on him or her and then file an enforcement lawsuit against him or her. Time is a factor that stands to harm almost every divorce at this stage. Instead of dividing up military retirement pay, why not divide up other property instead? This method can help you to get a case immediately rather than having to wait decades.

You can ask for more equity in the home, a greater amount of child support or spousal maintenance, or anything in between. There are many ways to prepare for a divorce when it comes to community property division. You should begin by going through all of your assets and debts and develop a plan on how to divide them in your divorce. You are only limited by your circumstances and creativity in this regard. Otherwise, having an experienced family law attorney can help you to problem solve and think outside the box when it comes to the division of marital property.

Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan

If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law as well as about your family’s circumstances that may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or child custody case.

Read More –>

What Makes a Parent Unfit?

A parent can be deemed unfit for custody or visitation for various reasons, some of which include child neglect, abuse, or a drug/alcohol addiction. Find out what else is considered here.

Read More –>

Picture

Divorce Lawyers Traffick Kids, Fees Funded by  NFL

Criminal defense attorney Eric Geffon handled high profile criminal cases in Santa Clara County. At the same time, he was  paid by the NFL to silence women and young girls who made allegations of rape or sexual abuse against 49er football players.  When he became a judge, he brouoght in attorney Nicole Ford to take over the lucrative payments that came largely under the table from 49er players, unions and mangers. Players raping women and absusing the mothers of their children was bad for ticket sales and community support needed for permits. 

Karyn Sinunu Towery, a Santa Clara County District Attorney  insider, was reportedly paid milions of dollars to drop  criminal charges against 49er players, When public pressure mounted, Sinunu Towery began to “volunteer”  for Santa Clara University’s Northern California Innocence Project. Behind the scenes she worked with Santa Clara government attorney Ann Ravel to get kickbacks that saw judges issuing orders to take kids via CPS, or private businesses such as Family Bridges. 

According to secret recordings taken of  Elise Mitchell while she attended Overeaters  Anonymous meetings, Nicole  Ford, Sean Onderick, Hector Moreno and Mark Erickson were paid  millons of dollars from the 49ers to bury complaints about players raping, absuing and impregnating young women connected with Alameda and Santa Clara Counties.    

Nicole Ford moved money into charities , including WomenSV and Community Solutions, If women complained there, Ford would have them  silenced, keeping allegations out of the news. Once victims were silenced, Mitchell and Ford were paid to bury complaints everywhere they could be made. . The pattern exists in other citites and counties with NFL franchises. 

These lawyers do not act alone. They are rarely proseucted by the state bar or district attorney. They are largely assisted by government attorneys. In Santa Clara,and Orange County.  Ford had help from government lawyers  Ann Ravel and Ward Penfold.  

Ravel who worked for Maplight , moved back to  Santa Clara County after  triple counting children in foster care to get more funds from the federal goverment. When a whistleblower complaint sought to expose the ghost children scandal , Ann Ravel moved to the Department of Justice, DOJ , to cover it up and mainstain her county connections and recruit for a private judge network that threw off high commissions and bonuses for referral of high asset divorce cases that could be moved into private judges, or where real estate could be liquidated and convered for the Santa Clara based network that based out of Los Gatos where Ravel resides. 

Picture

Elise Mitchell was paid by the NFL to keep Black players out of the news and bankruptcy court. For her involvement Mitchell  acted as a ghost attorney and was paid millions under- the- table and in loan payoffs.

While attending an  Overeaters Anonymous Meeting, Mitchell was recorded explaining how NFL money funded judge bribes and the trafficking of women used to statisfy players. At one point Mitchell claimed  it took boat loads of cash to pay off cops to bury arrests of players. 

For the messy custody cases 49er players landed,   Mitchell noted that family law attorneys Jessica Huey,  Mia Mosher and Nicole Ford taught those in the network to use  family court proceedings to provide a fresh and  steady supply of underage girls and women to  keep players and NFL managers happy.

Mitchell noted the involvment of Mia Mosher linked into  custody experts Lynn Steinberg,   Dr. Rebecca Bailey and  Phil Stahl who  could remove  children from middle class and wealthy homes during a  divorce  or custody dispute through the use of Family Bridges, a reunificaiton camp and therapy sessions. Family Bridges assures   judges, lawyers, cops and reporters from San Jose Mercury News, and Orange County Register ample cash and protection to keep the enterprise flowing.  


Picture

Divorce attorney Mia Mosher has been paid millions to bring bogus reports from custody  experts  who raise money with Randy Rand by getting judges and lawyers to invest in private businesses  or to donate to charities.
These reunificaiton camps are similar to the private prisons exposed in the Kids – 4- Cash scandal, only in California.  Reunifciation camps are shaking down parents by court order for as much as $45,000 in ” services” for a weekend.  Some parents report being billed over $600,000 , with funds taken by the court from the equity in the family home by weaponizing conflict over children. 

Read More –>

Supreme Court divided on adoption law that keeps Native American kids in tribal homes [Los Angeles Times :: BC-SCOTUS-NATIVE-CHILDREN:LA]

Supreme Court divided on adoption law that keeps Native American kids in tribal homes [Los Angeles Times :: BC-SCOTUS-NATIVE-CHILDREN:LA]

WASHINGTON — Supreme Court justices sounded sharply split Wednesday on whether to strike down a federal child custody law that seeks to keep Native American children with tribal families. Three of the court’s liberals, joined by Justice Neil M. Gorsuch, strongly defended the law. They said the Constitution gave Congress broad authority to protect Native […]

Read More –>

Traveling with your children during (and after) divorce

Maybe you want to take your kids on a quick out-of-state visit to see their grandparents during the holiday season, or maybe you just want to take them skiing. In prior years, this hasn’t been an issue.

Now, however, you’re in the process of a divorce and you’re no longer sure what rules you need to follow. You share the parenting duties and have roughly equal time with the kids, but you’re not sure how much leeway you have when it comes to out-of-state travel. Here’s what you need to know:

You need to check your parenting plan before you do anything

If you’ve already established a temporary parenting plan with your co-parent, you need to look at the document carefully to see if it addresses travel – especially out-of-state travel.

Most likely, your agreement allows for in-state travel during your parenting time, but out-of-state travel probably requires your co-parent’s consent. That means obtaining a letter of consent for travel from your ex.

But, what if the agreement is silent on the issue? It’s still wise to obtain a letter of consent. That can prevent allegations of parental kidnapping or charges that you violated the parenting plan in any way.

It may feel a little intrusive to write up a letter of consent, because you should generally include all the information your co-parent may need, including:

  • An explanation of where you intend to travel with the children
  • A rough itinerary of your trip, including return dates
  • Contact information for the trip, including hotel information
  • The names of anybody else who will be traveling with the children

When you want your co-parent to agree to your travel plans, you need to be prepared to negotiate a little and make some concessions that will help them feel comfortable with the situation. That may mean promising to have the kids call every night before bed or agreeing to text when you hit certain points in your destination.

If your custody agreement doesn’t have a clear provision for out-of-state travel and you want to add one, it may be time to discuss modifications (before any final orders are put in place).

Read More –>

Picture

Divorce Lawyer Trafficks Kids, Funded by the NFL

Criminal defense attorney Eric Geffon handled high profile criminal cases in Santa Clara County and was  paid by the NFL to silence women and young girls who made allegations of rape or sexual abuse against 49er football players.  When he became a judge, he brouoght in attorney Nicole Ford to take over. 

Karyn Sinunu Towery, a DA insider, has been paid milions of dollars to drop  criminal charges against 49er players, When public pressure mounted, Sinunu Towery began to “volunteer ”  for Santa Clara University’s Northern California Innocence Project. Behind the scenes she worked with Santa Clara government attorney Ann Ravel to get kickbacks for getting kids moved into CPS or foster care where private businesses such as Family Bridges could get paid on the public dime. 

According to secret recordings of Elise Mitchell taken from Overeater’s Anonymous, (where Mitchell is a regular attendeee), Nicole  Ford,  and other lawyers  were paid millons of dollars from the 49ers when the  team moved from San Francisco to Santa Clara.  Ford and Geffon had were paid to assure the  silencing  of women who claimed to be victims in connection with 49er players and management. 

San Jose and Santa Clara Police officers were paid millions more to assist. Players beating and raping women, or having kids out of wedlock,  was embarrassing for the 49er franchise, and the lawyers, judges and cops in Santa Clara were paid under the table to handle it. 

Nicole Ford moved  money into charities , including WomenSV and Community Solutions, If women complained there, Ford would have them  silenced, keeping allegations out of the news. Once victims were silenced, Mitchell and Ford were paid to keep   allegations out of public court proceedings.

Ford was also  assisted by government attorneys Ann Ravel and Ward Penfold , who moved kids for the benefit of NFL players, Hollywood celebrities and big tech managers ad workers. The demand for young women was a constant challenge for NFL and 49er management. 

Picture

Elise Mitchell was paid by the NFL to keep Black players out of the news and bankruptcy court. For her involvement Mitchell  acted as a ghost attorney and was paid millions under- the- table and in loan payoffs.

While attending an  Overeaters Anonymous Meeting, Mitchell was recorded explaining how NFL money funded judge bribes and the trafficking of women used to statisfy players. At one point Mitchell claimed  it took boat loads of cash to pay off cops to bury arrests of players. 

For the messy custody cases 49er players landed,   Mitchell noted that family law attorneys  Mia Mosher and Nicole Ford taught those in the network to use  family court proceedings in order to provide a fresh and  steady supply of underage girls and women to  keep players and NFL managers happy.

Mitchell noted the involvment of Mia Mosher and custody experts Dr. Rebecca Bailey and  Phil Stahl  could remove  children from middle class and wealthy homes during a  divorce  or custody dispute through the use of Family Bridges, a reunificaiton camp and therapy sessions. Family Bridges assures    judges, lawyers, cops and reporters from San Jose Mercury News, and Orange County Register ample cash and protection to keep the enterprise flowing.  


Picture

Divoerce attorney Mia Mosher has been paid millions to bring bogus reports fromcusotdy  experts Phil Stahl and Dr. Rebecca Bailey  who raise money with Randy Rand by getting judges and lawyers to invest in private businesses  or to donate to charities connected with them including Weave, Santa Clara DAO ,WomenSV and Next Door. 

These reunificaiton camps are similar to the private prisons exposed in the Kids – 4- Cash scandal, only in California , the reunifciation camps are shaking down parents by court order for as much as $45,000 in ” services” for a weekned. 


Read More –>

Picture

Brad Baugh Used Newsletters Signals Corruption

Early in his legal career divorce attorney Brad Baugh carved out a special niche to connect  lawyers and judges in San Mateo and Santa Clara counties. As editor of the family law newsletter, judges and lawyers  read what Baugh wrote in newsletters delivered directly to mailboxes in the most affluent California communities. 

Each newsletter brought ads for office space, paralegals and fire sales in law firms up and down Silicon Valley. Baugh controlled the messages and the information, elevating himself and his legal career in the process. 

These newsletters had another purpose that could not be seen on the surface. The newsletters were used to gather information, but also to engage in what was arguably antitrust activity. With the typing of each newsletter, Baugh got lawyers appointed as referees, Special Masters, private judges and minor’s counsel while he also worked to get lawyers elvated to the bench, where they would owe him and his associates favors. 

Baugh’s newsletters are said to have sent signals to judges as to how to rule in divorce cases to earn more in fees for the lawyers in Baugh’s network. 

​Secret Funds and CPS Ghost Children 

Baugh used the Newsletter to promote fundraising, and kickbacks to therapist willing to write reports that would provide judges with evidence to justify stealing children and family assets in divorce cases. He was said to be providing kickbacks to Santa Clara County Counsel  Ann Ravel for a ghost children program. Ravel , arranged for children taken in divorce or custody cases into foster programs that brought in funding from the federal government.  This illicit activity was covered up by the county’s Department of Child Support Services, and CPS. 

Read More –>

woman holding car keys and saying no to a drink

How Can a DUI Conviction Affect My Child Custody Case?

woman holding car keys and saying no to a drink

 

When parents encounter disputes related to child custody, these matters can be fraught with emotion, and multiple types of issues may be raised that could affect the outcome of a case. In high-conflict situations or cases where parents may be concerned about the safety and well-being of their children, criminal offenses or other potentially unsafe actions committed by a parent may play a role in the decisions that are made.

How Can a DUI Conviction Affect My Child Custody Case?

Arrests for drunk driving or convictions for driving under the influence (DUI) can be especially consequential, and they could be a significant factor considered in family court proceedings related to the custody of children.

If you have ever been arrested for DUI, you will need to understand how this could potentially affect decisions related to your children that will be made during your divorce. A DUI arrest that occurs after the completion of your divorce may also have serious consequences, and you may not only need to defend against criminal charges, but you may need to take steps to protect your parental rights and determine how you can avoid disruptions to your family life and your relationship with your children. With the help of an experienced attorney, you can make sure you will be able to address these issues correctly.

The Impact of a Previous DUI Conviction on Child Custody Decisions

In cases involving child custody, the primary concern addressed by a family court judge will be the best interests of the children. A judge will consider many factors, including the safety of the children and the stability of the home environment. If you had a DUI conviction at any point in the past, this might raise concerns about your ability to provide a safe and stable home for your children.

A DUI conviction may be seen as a sign that you have exhibited poor judgment in the past and that you could potentially behave in ways that may put your children at risk. These factors may affect a judge’s decisions about whether you will share legal custody of your children and have the right to make decisions about issues such as education and medical care.

Depending on how long ago your conviction occurred, your history of drug or alcohol abuse, and other factors related to your children’s health and safety, your ability to share physical custody of your children may also be affected.

Fortunately, even if you do not have primary physical custody, you should still be able to have regular visitation or parenting time with your children. If a judge believes that it is necessary, certain restrictions may apply, such as a prohibition on using alcohol or drugs during or immediately before your parenting time or the requirement to undergo regular drug testing or receive treatment for substance abuse. With the help of a family law attorney, you can make sure you will be able to maintain a close relationship with your children while following any requirements that are put in place.

How a DUI Arrest May Affect Issues Related to Child Custody

If you already have a child custody order in place, being arrested for intoxicated driving may jeopardize your ability to maintain custody. Even if you are not convicted, the other parent may bring the arrest to the court’s attention and ask for modifications to your child custody agreement.

If a family court judge believes that your children may be at risk of harm, you may face restrictions to your parenting time, or you could even lose legal or physical custody altogether.

Due to your DUI arrest, you may be accused of being unable to provide the proper care for your children, or the other parent may claim that you are likely to engage in risky behaviors that could affect your children’s safety. Even if you are not convicted of DUI charges, you may face a suspension of your driver’s license, which could affect your ability to provide transportation for your children when necessary.

After reviewing the facts of the case, a judge may decide to modify your parenting time schedule and reduce the amount of parenting time you have with your children. Other restrictions or requirements may also be put in place, such as requiring you to attend rehab or have supervision present during your parenting time.

An attorney can help you take proactive steps to address any concerns about your ability to parent following a DUI arrest. You may want to consider enrolling in an alcohol counseling or treatment program even if you have not been ordered to do so by a court. You should also be prepared to submit to random drug and alcohol testing. Taking these proactive steps will show the court that you are committed to sobriety and that you are taking steps to address any concerns about your ability to parent.

Get Legal Help With DUI Defense

A DUI arrest or conviction can have far-reaching consequences, impacting every area of your life. If you have been charged with DUI, it is important to seek experienced legal counsel as soon as possible. An experienced DUI defense attorney can help you defend your rights and minimize the impact of the charges against you. In some cases, it may be possible to have the charges reduced or dismissed altogether.

An experienced attorney will know how to best approach your individual case to achieve the best possible outcome. They can also work alongside a family law attorney to ensure that any issues related to child custody will be addressed appropriately. By taking quick, effective action, you can protect your parental rights and ensure that you will be able to maintain positive relationships with your children going forward.

The post How Can a DUI Conviction Affect My Child Custody Case? appeared first on Divorced Moms.

Read More –>