20 Signs Your Ex Is Narcissistic

20 Signs Your Ex Is Narcissistic

You leave and you’ll never see the kids again

Narcissistic mother

Things started so well.  They seemed perfect and, even better, they made you feel perfect too.  They lavished praise and attention on you.  It felt wonderful.  It was everything you ever dreamed of.

Then they stopped being so affectionate.  They started talking about someone new at work.  Everything they once said they loved most about you suddenly seemed to irritate the crap out of them.

What changed?

They tell you it was you but you aren’t sure.  Nevertheless you try everything to win back their acceptance.

But it’s not enough and although you do anything and everything, nothing works.

It’s all your fault

Or is it?

 

Individuals with narcissistic personalities tend to be grandiose, entitled, and self-centered.  They are often impulsive and anxious, have ideas of grandiosity and “specialness“, become quickly dissatisfied with others and maintain superficial, exploitative interpersonal relationships.

It’s why they find it so easy to  move on to the next “supply” and so easily discard you.

They react to criticism with feels of rage, stress or humiliation (even though they will never express that).  They take advantage of others to achieve their own ends.  

Other personality disorder processes are high levels of over-dramatic emotional displays (silent treatment or rage), paranoia (jealousy and suspiciousness), antisocial behaviours (aggression, domestic abuse and verbal abuse) or obsessive compulsive behaviours (rigid moralistic rules).  These are often evident throughout the relationship, although not at the start as they usually have another person who is able to be their “regulatory other” (the person who regulates their emotions). 


Overt narcissist (sometimes called grandiose narcissist)

Overt narcissists are characterised by grandiosity, attention-seeking, entitlement, arrogance and little observable anxiety. They can be socially charming, despite being oblivious to the needs of others, and are interpersonally exploitative.  They engage in superficial relationships and seek out external feedback that supports their grandiose sense of self and protects them from their fragile self image

Covert narcissist (sometimes called vulnerable narcissist)

Coverst narcissists present as vulnerable, fragile and thin-skinned.  They are characterised as inhibited, distressed and hypersensitive to evaluations of theirs, while chronically envious and evaluation themselves in relation to others. Interpersonally they tend to be shy, outwardly self-effacing (modest) and hypersensitive to criticism, but are covertly grandiose and jealous.

Malignant narcissist

They are characterised by the typical symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder as well as prominent antisocial behaviour, paranoid features and sadism towards others.  they engage in chronic lying, intimidation and financial or interpersonal secondary gains which maintain their malignant pattern.

10 Signs Your Ex Wife/Girlfriend Is Narcissistic

I watched Gone Girl for the first time a few months ago and I thought Amy (pictured above, credit: thefincheranalyst.com) was one of the best depictions of a female covert narcissistic I have seen.  She played the part of victim so well at the start to lure in her husband (Amy’s mother was a overt narcissist) and then later in the film to restore her delusion as “loyal wife”.  Apologies if I have given too many spoilers away there, trust me that there is so much more to the film.

The female narcissists I have dealt with personally and professionally were covert and loved to act like the perfect partner and parent.  They go to extreme lengths outside the family home to project this image of perfection.  Obviously within the relationship things are very different.

Here are ten signs of a female narcissistic ex:

Continuous sense that she is disappointed

Take sides against you by default, assume the worst, distrust

Fantasies, several would involve another partner, not subtle

Your were paying for others mistakes against her

No true connection, emotionally distant, and callous

Ruined your special occasions by refusing to acknowledge them but wanted excessive displays of devotion on theirs

She prevented you from making friends, venting frustrations, or seeking support

Double standards in everything (they expect praise but gave you nothing but criticism, even if you did the same/similar thing)

You were made to feel guilty for wanting to be intimate

She regularly threatened to leave, threatening to pursue support in Family Court in order to destroy you financially (and may have followed through on this)

If you have children with a female narcissist, I recommend reading our blog 13 Strategies for Dealing With A Female Narcissist 

10 Signs Your Ex Husband/Boyfriend Is Narcissistic

I hate to admit this but I loved the first season of You.  Joe was a terrifyingly good narcissist.  So good that I think he lovebombed half the female audience! He displayed anti-social behaviour (malignant), vulnerability (covert) and was incredibly socially charming (overt). He was a full-house.

The male narcissists I have dealt with have also displayed all of the criteria.  I have had men ring me telling me that their ex is stopping them from seeing their children only to make false allegations against me online 24 hours later because HE didn’t answer the call HE arranged. I have spoken to men who have overtly spoken of their own grandiose sense of self by stating how they were capable of doing x,y and z even though they emailed me for advice. I have also had conversations with someone who claimed they were alienated only to later discover that they were in fact a registered sex offender.

Here are ten signs your ex was narcissistic:

Infidelity is common but they will also engage in sexual fantasies and try to get you involved

He wanted to control your appearance appearance

His and your emotional needs were not attended to

Triangulated the children into arguments and expects the children to take his side

Was only interested in doing things he wanted to do

He was extremely jealously of other men

He was envious of any of your successes (including your relationship with the children)

He never listened, but expected a lot of attention and perfect memory

Downplayed the contribution of raising children or taking care of the household

Sees you as his only being there to meet his needs

If you have children with a narcissistic ex I recommend reading out blog The Realities of Co-Parenting with a Narcissist

Narcissists dispaly a pattern of self-centeredness and grandiosity.  They have an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and achievements, require constant attention, affirmation and praise and believe they are unique and special and should only associate with others who are equally unique and special (you).  These are all brilliant reasons they are your ex.

As stated, if you have children with a narcissist do check out our resources on parental alienation and divorcing the narcissist.  Forewarned is forearmed.

The post 20 Signs Your Ex Is Narcissistic appeared first on The Nurturing Coach.

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COVID-19’s Effect on Child Support and Alimony Payments – Men’s Divorce Podcast

Can I pause child support arrears during the pandemic?

child support arrears

Question:

I lost my job due to the pandemic and already owe child support arrears. I know I can modify my child support order for payments moving forward but can I have those arrears paused during this time?

Answer:

I do not practice law in your state. Therefore, I cannot inform you as to the specific laws of your state, but I can provide you with general tips for this sort of issue.

You are correct regarding the fact that you can request a modification of your support payments moving forward. However, I do believe it is important that you are aware that, unfortunately, although a reduction in income is considered a change in circumstance, the court may not modify the amount or duration of support if it appears that the change in circumstance is considered temporary.

For example, there is case law that states that a 20-month reduction in income only was temporary, therefore a reduction in child support was not warranted. Further, the family court generally will not modify a support order, including pausing arrears, even during a modification time.

Additionally, the court puts the burden on the person requesting a change to notify the court of any change which could impact support. As such, the court will not know you have lost your employment until you file your modification petition. Therefore, your arrears balance will continue to accrue at the current level unless and until a modification is filed and granted, and I would recommend you file to modify your support as soon as possible.

However, if payment will become an issue for you, I would suggest contacting the enforcement unit and advising them of the change in your circumstances. You need to see if they would stay an enforcement proceeding against you, until your employment and income return to pre-pandemic levels.

While arrears still will accrue on the original amount, if the enforcement department is willing to stay any enforcement proceedings, this should mitigate any other actions against you, such as lack of payment being reported to credit agencies or incarceration for lack of payment.

However, please note this completely is within the discretion of the court, so I cannot guarantee that enforcement will not be sought against you. Also, I would strongly suggest that if you are able, you continue to pay the alimony at the level awarded, so you ensure that no enforcement proceedings are initiated.

Another alternative is to attempt to privately negotiate a temporary reduction in your arrears. If you and the opposing party can come to a private agreement, a stipulation, preferably prepared by an attorney, can be submitted to the court encapsulated the terms of the temporary agreement. Any stipulation modifying support/suspending arrears must be filed with the court. Otherwise, the original support order will continue to be in full force and effect, and the court will not know that the terms have been modified.

To arrange an initial consultation to discuss divorce rights for men with a Cordell & Cordell attorney, including Pennsylvania divorce attorney Caroline Thompsoncontact Cordell & Cordell.

The post Can I pause child support arrears during the pandemic? appeared first on Dads Divorce.

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children of divorce

Can we temporarily change our parenting plan by verbal agreement until quarantine is over?

children of divorce

Question:

Can we temporarily change our parenting plan by verbal agreement until quarantine is over?

Answer:

I practice law in the state of South Carolina. Unless you live there, I cannot inform you as to the specific laws of your state, but I can give you some general observations on family law issues and how they are affected by the COVID-19 pandemic, based on the jurisdiction where I practice.

The answer is yes, and it highly is encouraged that parents be reasonable in attaining such an agreement. It is inevitable that both parties will experience some roadblock that renders their rights short of what is court ordered. Both parents should expect to make concessions for the other to abide by the spirit of the agreement as much as possible. A family court judge undoubtedly will respect the parties and their decisions considering the circumstances.

If you are the parent being asked to make a change in the parenting plan, then you should consider these requests. Keep in mind that your conduct can be scrutinized by a judge if the facts show that you were not being reasonable under the circumstances. It also is important that you make clear to the other parent that the change strictly is intended until such times as things get back to normal. You should be careful in not allowing the other party to misconstrue the change as a new agreement, but rather a temporary agreement.

If you are the parent requesting for a change in the parenting plan, then you should memorialize these communications whether the changes are consented to or not. Memorialized communications can be recorded through text message, email, or any other form of written communication wherein you can justify the other party’s intent. If the changes are not consented to by the other party, then these communications will come in handy when illustrating to a family court judge the conduct of the other parent should you need to go to court in the future. Similarly, these memorialized communications will protect the requesting parent should the other party claim some violation of the Agreement in the future. The bottom line is that written communication is key when communicating with the other parent.

Due to the fact-specific nature of this situation, I would strongly suggest you contact an attorney who handles family law matters in your jurisdiction to see how your state’s laws specifically can help you with this serious situation. This type of attorney should be helpful in providing you specific assistance for your matter. Remember, I am unable to provide you with anything more than tips, so please consult a domestic litigation attorney in your jurisdiction to obtain specific advice as to the laws in your state and how they particularly impact your potential case.

To arrange an initial consultation to discuss divorce rights for men with a Cordell & Cordell attorney, including South Carolina divorce attorney Chris Jacobcontact Cordell & Cordell.

The post Can we temporarily change our parenting plan by verbal agreement until quarantine is over? appeared first on Dads Divorce.

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Parental Alienation and Accountability

DISORDERED PARENTING AND PARENTAL ALIENATION

 

Disordered parenting and parental alienation affects hundreds of thousands of children every year in the UK alone.  And yet cases are often misrepresented and misinterpreted leading children to being left in the care of abusive parents, all  under the supervision of agencies whose sole responsibility is to protect vulnerable children.

 

Child protection issue

 

Parental alienation and disordered parenting is child abuse.  It is emotional, physical, psychological and sometimes sexual abuse.  The main categories are:

 

  • Rejecting (spurning) 
  • Terrorizing 
  • Corrupting  
  • Denying essential stimulation, emotional responsiveness, or availability  
  • Unreliable and inconsistent parenting  
  • Mental health, medical, or educational neglect  
  • Degrading/devaluing (spurning)  
  • Isolating  
  • Exploiting

 

Adapted from Joan T. Kloth-Zanard, 2012, FOR THOSE THAT REFUSE TO USE THE WORD PARENTAL ALIENATION 9 CRITERIA FOR CLASSIFYING AGGRESSIVE PARENTING BEHAVIORS AS PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

 

Legal issue

 

  • Family courts are often adversarial, unaffordable, slow, and even intimidating – characteristics which are profoundly incompatible with “the best interests” of children; 
  • Family courts and lawyers are neither qualified to assess children, nor to assess the competence of other professionals, and insufficient professionals have the highly specialized skills necessary for assessing children and families involved in separation, dispute or litigation, where the incidence of family violence & abusive parental behaviour, including extreme psychological manipulation of children, is very high; 
  • By exposing children to unqualified “professionals”, by taking years to make decisions, and by greatly exacerbating parental conflict & stress, our courts contribute directly to the occurrence of psychological child abuse and family violence; 
  • Our courts restrict public scrutiny and fail to obtain feedback on the outcomes of the thousands of life-changing decisions they make each year; theirs is not the open, evidence-based approach our children need and deserve; 
  • Through the actions of our family courts, which typically result in a dramatic reduction, or loss, of loving, important relationships between children and parents (or a failure to restore such relationships), the UK is failing in its obligations as a signatory to the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child & the Universal Declaration of Human Rights: we are denying some of the most fundamental rights, and needs, to tens of thousands of children and to their families; 
  • The annual cost of our family court system in government funding, consequent welfare dependency and lost income: billions of pounds. The cost in human loss and suffering: incalculable.

 

Adapted from Family Law Reform Coalition (AUS), 2015, Children in Crisis Executive Summary Urgent actions required to protect children in divided families 

 

Health issue

 

Parental mental health impacts the child’s outcomes.  Therefore a disordered parent is going to have a huge impact on a child’s health and well-being.  

 

Children of disordered parents and those who experience parental alienation often experience the following in adulthood:

 

  • Depression
  • Low self esteem
  • Substance misuse
  • Reduced ability to self direct
  • Reduced willingness to co-operate
    • (Amy J. L. Baker & Maria Christina Verrocchio 2013)
  • Anger and aggression
  • Self harm and suicide
  • Splitting
  • Long term mental health issues such as narcissism

Education issue

Hostile or neglectful parenting can result in anxiety and stress related disordered in children.  This can make school a very difficult environment for children.  They will be hypersensitive to sensory input and struggle with peer relationships.  This can lead them to be disruptive, withdrawn and eventually non-attenders (through expulsion or truancy).

Social Issue

When a child has chaos, neglect, threat, violence and other adversity, their potential is stunted, distorted and fragmented and when development is delayed, disrupted or impaired, the risk for more self-absorbed, impulsive, aggressive, violent and anti-social behaviour increases.  

Adapted from Bruce D Perry, 1996, Reflections on Childhood, Trauma and Society

Isn’t it time we worked together to address this problem?

The post Parental Alienation and Accountability appeared first on The Nurturing Coach.

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parental alienation

How do I deal with my child rejecting me?

It doesn’t make any sense, we used to be so close, what happened?

Children rejecting their parents goes against everything we know about attachment and parenting.  We are biologically programmed to NEED our parents for survival so when a child turns away from that, it’s a sign of deep emotional and psychological trauma.  

Having worked within Child Protection for many years, I have seen children who have been severely neglected by their parents (through substance misuse or mental health) cling to them like a lifeboat. That’s how parents feel to children.  In a scary world, their parents are (on a biological level) their protectors.

Sadly for many children the reality is that it is their parents who they cling to, who they see as their protector, who are really the ones who are putting them at risk.

But a child does not usually comprehend that.  In many cases they actually profess MORE love for the high risk parent because they need it more.  They have learnt that they need to work extra hard to get their needs met by that parent and so they do exactly that.  They become so eager to please that parent that they can be controlled and will surrender their own wants, needs, thoughts and feelings just so that they can get what they believe they need (attachment) from this parent.

Signs of an insecure ambivalent attachment:

A child’s anxiety and uncertainty are evident as when the incident becomes very upset at separation from the caregiver and both resists and seeks contact at reunion

parental alienation

So what happens when a child completely rejects a parent?

 

At the core of the rejection is the complete suppression of the child’s attachment bonding motivations towards you, a healthy and available parent. This occurs when the child is put in a loyalty conflict position where they have to align with the higher risk parent in order to retain a relationship with them. This is induced with subtle and covert behavioural manipulations.  The essence of which is a clear message to the child – “it is not safe to love this parent, I am the only parent who can love and protect you, if you show any affection for that parent you will not receive love from me”.

 

It’s important for you to understand this process as it will help you with dealing with the rejection.  It shows that you have done nothing wrong.  That your child is under enormous pressure and has no choice but to reject you.  

 

At this point many parents will realise the abusive nature of the behaviour of the other parent and go to Family Court to ensure they remain an active part in their child’s life.  Whilst I appreciate there is little option but to do this, I do feel it is important that you face the rejection and the emotions that brings up first so that you can present the as the healthy, available parent your child needs and remembers.

5 Stages of



  • Shattering – you are in shock, panic and bereft of life’s worth and meaning. Suicidal feelings are normal. You may also begin to feel old feelings of helplessness and dependency


  • Withdrawal – this is an addiction response where you crave the child, feel physical symptoms of withdrawal (unable to sleep, weight loss, anxiety and fatigue (physical and emotional)


  • Internalising – your self esteem suffers real damage, you begin to supress your anger and turn it on yourself or others (The Spring Effect). You may be pre-occupied with feelings of regret and play over in your mind what you might have done differently


  • Rage – as the anger begins to surface it can be used either positively or negatively (positive – regain self esteem and find a way forward/negatively – develop agitated depression and take your anger out on others who you feel responsible for making this better)


  • Lifting – the range has brought your emotions out and that can begin the process of feeling “normal” again. You are able to feel more positive about the sitation and feel stronger and hopeful

Whereever you are at in the process now, know that your feelings are normal and that you will move onto the next stage when you are ready.  



  • Do be kind to yourself


  • Do surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally


  • Do get professional support if you get stuck at any stage



  • Don’t blame yourself


  • Don’t underestimate the emotional toll this is taking


  • Don’t feel ashamed of what has happened (shame keeps you stuck)

Dealing With Anxiety

Part of our series of Free Webinars on Surviving Parental Alienation

The post How do I deal with my child rejecting me? appeared first on The Nurturing Coach.

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Supreme Court candidate firm on citizen’s constitutional rights and Trustee Candidate will surrender salary to teacher’s classroom on VIP Talk Show!

Supreme Court candidate firm on citizen’s constitutional rights and Trustee Candidate will surrender salary to teacher’s classroom on VIP Talk Show!

“Government has no authority to take away what it didn’t give in the first place”!

Erv Nelson

Erv Nelson candidate for Nevada’s Supreme Court Seat D

Click onto the link to view the website: ballotpedia.org/Erv_Nelson

Click onto the link for the Veterans In Politics video internet talk-show:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx11p80BRD4&feature=youtu.be

 

Katie Williams candidate for Clark County School Board Trustee District B

Click onto the link to view the website:  www.katiewilliamsnv.com/

Click onto the link to view the Veterans In Politics video internet talk-show:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAMi44KW5RE&feature=youtu.be

 

 

Endorsed Family Court Candidate

DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT I
CHEVALIER, YVETTE Endorsement

  

Recommendation for Family Court Candidates

 DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT A
VOY, WILLIAM OAKS Recommendation

DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT J
MACDONALD, JOHN SCOTT Recommendation

DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT M
HUGHES, LYNN NEVILLE Recommendation

DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT P
PAGE, FRED C Recommendation

DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT S
SZYC, LISA MARIE Recommendation

DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT T
CUTTER, NADIN J Recommendation

DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT U
THRONE, DAWN RENEE Recommendation

DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT V
FLEEMAN, JACK WESLEY Recommendation

DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT Y
CHARTER, STEPHANIE ANNE Recommendation

DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT Z
PEREZ, ROMEO RUIZ Recommendation

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Disbarred Divorce Attorney DIED of Coronavirus in Santa Clara: Contact Tracing  Begins

 
​Nearly  three years after Lynne Yates Carter taught lawyers how to earn more in fee awards at a lawyer training led by Judge James Towery and Justice Mary Greenwood at the Santa Clara County bar association , Lynne Yates Carter was disbarred and has now reportedly died. Her death is rumored to be connected to COVID-19 and contact tracing of the county’s  dirtiest divorce lawyers has begun.

Yates- Carter was celebrated in the local family law community for getting the wife of lawyer Richard Falcone sanctioned over $1 million dollars and declared vexatious in the Falcone v Fyke divorce case.  This case became the flagship for divorce lawyers and family court judges operating a criminal enterprise out of the area’s family courts where lawyers who are part of a criminal enterprise convinced clients to use a fake judge, claiming a lawyer overseeing a divorce instead of a duly elected judge ”  will be cheaper, faster and more private”, Minor’s counsel appointments are pimped out to local judges in return for appointments to act in the best interest of the children whose parents get caught in crosshairs of this criminal enterprise.. Lynne Yates Carter and her corrupt associate,  Tracy Duell Cazes.  wrote the playbook on this corrupt practice. Duell- Cazes continues to benefit by acting as a private judge where she can earn $5 million a year doing very little work..   

Contact tracing related  to Lynne’s death has turned up far more than coronavirus super spreaders.. Emergency orders in the county  have closed the courts  and county buildings.  These closures have reduced opportunities for lawyers to hold secret meetings that historically have provided an important tool for the most corrupt lawyers using the public courthouse to conduct their criminal conduct.  This conduct has now drawn the   attention of federal investigators who  are now looking into  family court cases where Yates Cater and her associates,  including Duell Cazes and Kathryn Schlepphorst,  appear to be at the center of the scandal.  

In what appears to be a deathbed confession, Yates Carter revealed corruption where divorce lawyers and family court judges have  turned a blind eye to child abuse and money laundering in attorney trust accounts. . Once she was disbarred Lynne Yates Carter reportedly warned  Elise Mitchell and Sharon Roper that the COVID-19 crisis could significantly impact the enterprise as  real property equity in the area dries up and court business  essentially grinds to a  halt. Further, Shelia Pott , a loan manager, recently lost an important appeal and is worried the loans she wrote for area lawyers and judges as kickbacks for favorable rulings in her own divorce case are now on the  radar of federal investigators at the DOJ. 

Jason Pintar has also been exposed for his role in the darkest part of the  enterprise after  it was discovered that cases Pintar was involved in with Constance Carpenter, Nat Hales, Richard Roggia , Laura Perry and Annie Fortino appear to be related to  sex trafficking rings revealed in cases before Judge Mary Ann  Grilli in 2014 and Judge Towery in 2017. Pintar appears to have  teamed up with Laura Perry and Annie Fortino  who have connections to the Gilroy Police and local politicians.   

 Twenty years ago, attorney Ed Mills  was  appointed in the Falcone v, Fyke divorce case as a referee/ Private Judge.  Ms. Fkye had to represent herself,  Over 20 years,  Lynne  Yates Carter,  is believed to have brought in cases that have generated  millions of dollars in fees to benefit  private judges James Cox, Ed Mills, Nat Hales, Sharon Roper, Michael Smith, Richard Roggia, Ed Berra and, Tracy Duell- Cazes..  

An attorney,  believed to be David Patton.  was recently overheard speaking to a staffer claiming Yates Carter’s death was timely as her recent disbarment threatened to expose private judging, attorney trust account abuses   and minor’s counsel appointments in the county. 
A whistleblower who contacted this website noted that family law attorneys are worried COVID-19 will expose mass corruption in the family courts in a manner that will result in the termination of what surely was the golden era for corruption in California’s courts. 

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LIVE Square table Primary Election discussion on the Nevada Supreme Court & the Civil/Criminal Court Judicial Candidates

Clark County Nevada
May 5, 2020
The Veterans In Politics International Inc. will hold a “Live Streamed” square table
discussion on all the Judicial Candidates on the Primary election ballot for Nevada Supreme
Court and the Civil/Criminal Bench.
Monday, May 11th at 7 PM until.
Again LIVE STREAMED on Facebook Page: Steve Sanson click onto the link www.facebook.com/steve.sanson.3
At the end of each department, we will provide our recommendations.
We will discuss all the candidates below:
Nevada Supreme Court, Seat B
Pickering Mary Kristina Pickering, Kristina
Christensen Thomas Frank TF Christensen
Rodriguez Esther Christine Rodriguez, Esther C.
Nevada Supreme Court, Seat D
Fumo Osvaldo Fumo. Osvaldo
Herndon Douglas W. Herndon, Douglas
Nelson Erven Tebbs Nelson, Erv
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, DEPARTMENT 2
(6-YEAR TERM)
Candidate
Party
Contact Information
Date Filed

KIERNY, CARLI LYNN

Ballot Name:
Kierny, Carli Lynn

NONPARTISAN
C/O LETIZIA AGENCY 410 SOUTH RAMPART STE. 390
LAS VEGAS NV 89145
(702) 546-8775 (PHONE)
CARLI@CARLI4JUDGE.COM
WWW.CARLI4JUDGE.COM
01/06/2020

MARCELLO, DUSTIN R

Ballot Name:
Marcello, Dustin R.

NONPARTISAN
601 LAS VEGAS BLVD. SOUTH
LAS VEGAS NV 89101
(702) 546-6256 (PHONE)
(702) 474-4210 (FAX)
DUSTIN@DUSTINMARCELLO.COM
WWW.DUSTINMARCELLO.COM
01/06/2020

SCHIFALACQUA, BARBARA FLORENCE

CANDIDATE WITHDREW

NONPARTISAN
2520 SAINT ROSE PARKWAY, STE 112
HENDERSON NV 89074
(702) 236-1106 (PHONE)
BARBARA@BARBARASCHIFALACQUA.COM
WWW.BARBARASCHIFALACQUA.COM
01/07/2020

SCOTTI, RICHARD FRANK

Ballot Name:
Scotti, Richard

NONPARTISAN
REGIONAL JUSTICE CENTER DEPT 2 200 LEWIS AVE
LAS VEGAS NV 89155
(702) 232-0170 (PHONE)
REELECTJUDGESCOTTI@GMAIL.COM
01/08/2020
Total: 4
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, DEPARTMENT 3
(6-YEAR TERM)
Candidate
Party
Contact Information
Date Filed

GANZ, SR., ADAM

Ballot Name:
Ganz, Adam

NONPARTISAN
8950 W TROPICANA #1
LAS VEGAS NV 89147
(702) 546-9141 (PHONE)
GANZ4JUDGE2020@GMAIL.COM
WWW.GANZ4JUDGE.COM
01/06/2020

MICELI, MICHAEL JUSTIN

Ballot Name:
Miceli, Michael J.

NONPARTISAN
601 LAS VEGAS BLVD., SOUTH
LAS VEGAS NV 89101
(702) 860-7394 (PHONE)
(702) 474-4210 (FAX)
MIKEMICELI4JUDGE@GMAIL.COM
WWW.MIKEMICELI4JUDGE.COM
01/17/2020

TRUJILLO, MONICA

Ballot Name:
Trujillo, Monica

NONPARTISAN
C/O LETIZIA AGENCY 410 S. RAMPART BLVD. STE. 390
LAS VEGAS NV 89145
(702) 530-8605 (PHONE)
MONICA@TRUJILLO4JUDGE.COM
WWW.TRUJILLO4JUDGE.COM
01/06/2020
Total: 3
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, DEPARTMENT 4
(6-YEAR TERM)
Candidate
Party
Contact Information
Date Filed

AURBACH, PHILLIP SANDFORD

Ballot Name:
Aurbach, Phil

NONPARTISAN
10001 PARK RUN DR
LAS VEGAS NV 89145
(702) 942-2155 (PHONE)
PAURBACH@GMAIL.COM
WWW.PHILAURBACHFORJUDGE.COM
01/15/2020

FRIEDBERG, CRAIG BENNETT

CANDIDATE WITHDREW

NONPARTISAN
4760 S. PECOS RD., SUITE 103
LAS VEGAS NV 89121
(702) 530-8740 (PHONE)
FRIEDBERGFORJUDGE@GMAIL.COM
WWW.FRIEDBERGFORJUDGE.COM
01/13/2020

KRALL, NADIA

Ballot Name:
Krall, Nadia

NONPARTISAN
9811 W CHARLESTON BLVD 2-634
LAS VEGAS NV 89117
(702) 385-1600 (PHONE)
NADIA@NADIAFORJUDGE.COM
01/09/2020

MOREO, KERRY L

CANDIDATE WITHDREW

NONPARTISAN
410 S RAMPART BLVD. STE.390
LAS VEGAS NV 89145
(702) 524-1224 (PHONE)
VOTEEARLEYNV@GMAIL.COM
WWW.JUDGEKERRYEARLEY.COM
01/06/2020

SCHIFALACQUA, BARBARA FLORENCE

Ballot Name:
Schifalacqua, Barbara

NONPARTISAN
2520 SAINT ROSE PARKWAY, STE 112
HENDERSON NV 89074
(702) 236-1106 (PHONE)
BARBARA@BARBARASCHIFALACQUA.COM
WWW.BARBARASCHIFALACQUA.COM
01/13/2020
Total: 5
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, DEPARTMENT 5
(6-YEAR TERM)
Candidate
Party
Contact Information
Date Filed

ABBOTT, ERIC LAURENCE

Ballot Name:
Abbott, Eric

NONPARTISAN
P.O. BOX 35156
LAS VEGAS NV 89133
(702) 720-9803 (PHONE)
EABBOTTFOR JUDGE@GMAIL.COM
WWW.ABBOTTFORJUDGE.COM
01/16/2020

BARISICH, VERONICA M

Ballot Name:
Barisich, Veronica

NONPARTISAN
2505 ANTHEM VILLAGE DR E 194
HENDERSON NV 89052
VERONICAFORJUDGE@OUTLOOK.COM
WWW.VERONICAFORJUDGE.COM
01/17/2020

COFFING, TERRY A

Ballot Name:
Coffing, Terry

NONPARTISAN
C/O LETIZIA AGENCY 410 S RAMPART BLVD, SUITE 390
LAS VEGAS NV 89145
(702) 942-2136 (PHONE)
TERRY@COFFING4JUDGE.COM
WWW.COFFING4JUDGE.COM
01/06/2020

PARKER, BLAIR COWAN

Ballot Name:
Parker, Blair C.

NONPARTISAN
375 E WARM SPRINGS ROAD SUITE 104
LAS VEGAS NV 89119
(702) 823-3500 (PHONE)
(702) 823-3400 (FAX)
PARKERBLAIR4JUDGE@GMAIL.COM
WWW.COHENJOHNSON.COM
01/17/2020
Total: 4
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, DEPARTMENT 15
(6-YEAR TERM)
Candidate
Party
Contact Information
Date Filed

BREEDEN, ADAM J

Ballot Name:
Breeden, Adam

NONPARTISAN
376 E. WARM SPRINGS RD. #120
LAS VEGAS NV 89119
(702) 508-0052 (PHONE)
(702) 819-7771 (FAX)
ADAM@BREEDENANDASSOCIATES.COM
WWW.BREEDENANDASSOCIATES.COM
01/17/2020

HARDY, JR., JOSEPH PAUL

Ballot Name:
Hardy, Jr., Joe

NONPARTISAN
200 LEWIS AVENUE
LAS VEGAS NV 89101
(702) 339-6948 (PHONE)
JOE@JUDGEJOEHARDY.COM
WWW.JUDGEJOEHARDY.COM
01/06/2020

MACHNICH, TEGAN CHRISTINE

Ballot Name:
Machnich, Tegan Christine

NONPARTISAN
C/O DAWSON & LORDAHL PLLC 8925 WEST POST ROAD STE. 210
LAS VEGAS NV 89148
(847) 644-4155 (PHONE)
TEGANCHRISTINE4JUDGELV@GMAIL.COM
WWW.TEGANCHRISTINE4JUDGELV.COM
01/17/2020
Total: 3
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, DEPARTMENT 19
(6-YEAR TERM)
Candidate
Party
Contact Information
Date Filed

ELLER, CRYSTAL LYN

Ballot Name:
Eller, Crystal

NONPARTISAN
104 SOUTH JONES BLVD
LAS VEGAS NV 89107
(702) 685-6655 (PHONE)
(702) 804-5090 (FAX)
CRYSTAL@CRYSTAL4JUDGE.COM
WWW.CRYSTAL4JUDGE.COM
01/17/2020

KEPHART, WILLIAM DAVID

Ballot Name:
Kephart, William “Bill”

NONPARTISAN
7435 S EASTERN AVENUE SUITE 105 BOX 420
LAS VEGAS NV 89123
(702) 281-8949 (PHONE)
KEPHART2020ELECTION@GMAIL.COM
01/06/2020

MILLER, FIKISHA LIKI

Ballot Name:
Miller, Fikisha Liki

NONPARTISAN
438 E. SAHARA AVE
LAS VEGAS NV 89104
(702) 994-4912 (PHONE)
INFO@ITISTIMEFORMILLER.COM
WWW.ITISTIMEFORMILLER.COM
01/09/2020
Total: 3
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, DEPARTMENT 21
(6-YEAR TERM)
Candidate
Party
Contact Information
Date Filed

ALMASE, CAESAR VICENTE

Ballot Name:
Almase, Caesar

NONPARTISAN
526 S 7TH STREET
LAS VEGAS NV 89101
(702) 326-3814 (PHONE)
(702) 463-8595 (FAX)
CAESAR@CAESARALMASE4JUDGE.COM
WWW.CAESARALMASE4JUDGE.COM
01/06/2020

CLARK NEWBERRY, TARA DEE

Ballot Name:
Clark Newberry, Tara

NONPARTISAN
438 E. SAHARA AVE.
LAS VEGAS NV 89104
(702) 751-2171 (PHONE)
TARA@CLARKNEWBERRYFORJUDGE.COM
WWW.CLARKNEWBERRYFORJUDGE.COM
01/06/2020

GALE, BRUCE L

Ballot Name:
Gale, Bruce L.

NONPARTISAN
830 LAS VEGAS BOULEVARD SOUTH
LAS VEGAS NV 89101
(702) 526-2161 (PHONE)
ATTYBRUCELGALE@AOL.COM
01/17/2020

REYNOLDS, JACOB ALVIN

Ballot Name:
Reynolds, Jacob

NONPARTISAN
10080 W. ALTA DR. SUITE 200
LAS VEGAS NV 89145
(702) 381-3323 (PHONE)
(702) 385-2086 (FAX)
JACOB@JACOB4JUDGE.COM
WWW.JACOB4JUDGE.COM
01/06/2020
Total: 4
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, DEPARTMENT 23
(6-YEAR TERM)
Candidate
Party
Contact Information
Date Filed

ARMSTRONG, KARL WESLEY

Ballot Name:
Armstrong, Karl W.

NONPARTISAN
3753 HOWARD HUGHES PKWY #200
LAS VEGAS NV 89169
(702) 245-7652 (PHONE)
KARLATTORNEY1@GMAIL.COM
WWW.ARMSTRONG4JUDGE.COM
01/06/2020

FRIEDBERG, CRAIG BENNETT

Ballot Name:
Friedberg, Craig

NONPARTISAN
4760 S. PECOS RD., SUITE 103
LAS VEGAS NV 89121
(702) 530-8740 (PHONE)
FRIEDBERGFORJUDGE@GMAIL.COM
WWW.FRIEDBERGFORJUDGE.COM
01/17/2020

LILLY-SPELLS, JASMIN D

Ballot Name:
Lilly-Spells, Jasmin

NONPARTISAN
438 E SAHARA AVENUE
LAS VEGAS NV 89104
(702) 907-5565 (PHONE)
JASMIN@LILLY-SPELLS.COM
WWW.LILLY-SPELLS.COM
01/06/2020

SWEETIN, JAMES ROBERT

Ballot Name:
Sweetin, Jim

NONPARTISAN
7995 BLUE DIAMOND ROAD STE. 102- #184
LAS VEGAS NV 89178
(702) 656-2015 (PHONE)
JIM@JIMSWEETIN.COM
WWW.JIMSWEETIN.COM
01/06/2020
Total: 4
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, DEPARTMENT 24
(6-YEAR TERM)
Candidate
Party
Contact Information
Date Filed

BALLOU, ERIKA DANIELLE

Ballot Name:
Ballou, Erika D.

NONPARTISAN

(702) 405-7373 (PHONE)
ERIKA4JUDGE@GMAIL.COM

01/17/2020

BOHN, MICHAEL F

Ballot Name:
Bohn, Mickey

NONPARTISAN
C/OF LETIZIA AGENCY 410 S RAMPART #390
LAS VEGAS NV 89145
(702) 642-3113 (PHONE)
(702) 642-9766 (FAX)
MICKEY@BOHN4JUDGE.COM
WWW.BOHN4JUDGE.COM
01/06/2020

GILLIAM, DANIEL ROBERT

Ballot Name:
Gilliam, Dan

NONPARTISAN
2340 W. HORIZON RIDGE PKWY SUITE 100
HENDERSON NV 89052
702-378-2442 (PHONE)
DAN@GILLIAM4JUDGE.COM
WWW.GILLIAM4JUDGE.COM
01/06/2020

RINETTI, DENA IRENE

Ballot Name:
Rinetti, Dena

NONPARTISAN
2520 SAINT ROSE PKWY STE. 112
HENDERSON NV 89074
(702) 998-2693 (PHONE)
DENA@DENARINETTI.COM
WWW.DENARINETTI.COM
01/06/2020

VADALA, JOSEPH

Ballot Name:
Vadala, Joe

NONPARTISAN
438 E SAHARA AVENUE
LAS VEGAS NV 89104
(702) 338-7969 (PHONE)
JOE@VOTEVADALA.COM
WWW.VOTEVADALA.COM
01/17/2020
Total: 5
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, DEPARTMENT 28
(6-YEAR TERM)
Candidate
Party
Contact Information
Date Filed

CAVANAUGH, JAMES EARLY

Ballot Name:
Cavanaugh, James E. “Jim”

NONPARTISAN
8605 LINDERWOOD DR
LAS VEGAS NV 89134
(702) 493-6989 (PHONE)
(702) 255-2858 (FAX)
JIM.CAVANAUGH@OUTLOOK.COM
WWW.JIMCAVANAUGH4JUDGE.COM
01/15/2020

ISRAEL, RONALD J

Ballot Name:
Israel, Ron

NONPARTISAN
9360 W FLAMINGO STE. 110-450
LAS VEGAS NV 89147
JUDGERONISRAEL@GMAIL.COM
WWW.JUDGERONISRAEL.COM
01/06/2020

MCLEOD, ALEXANDRA BETH

Ballot Name:
Mcleod, Alexandra Beth

NONPARTISAN
438 E. SAHARA AVE
LAS VEGAS NV 89104
(702) 751-1450 (PHONE)
ALEXANDRA@MCLEODFORJUDGE.COM
WWW.MCLEODFORJUDGE.COM
01/17/2020
Total: 3
LIVE Square table Primary Election discussion on the Clark County Family Court Judicial Candidates – Veterans In Politics International
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DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT I
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DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT J
MACDONALD, JOHN SCOTT Recommendation
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT M
HUGHES, LYNN NEVILLE Recommendation
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT P
PAGE, FRED C Recommendation
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT S
SZYC, LISA MARIE Recommendation
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT T
CUTTER, NADIN J Recommendation
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT U
THRONE, DAWN RENEE Recommendation
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT V
FLEEMAN, JACK WESLEY Recommendation
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT Y
CHARTER, STEPHANIE ANNE Recommendation
DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, FAMILY DIV DEPARTMENT Z
PEREZ, ROMEO RUIZ Recommendation

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Child Court Order – What Is It And Do I Need One?

Child Court Order – What Is It And Do I Need One?

So your ex has stopped you from seeing the children or is making decisions which you disagree with.  They refuse to communicate and so you have no choice but to seek legal advice and apply for a court order.

What is it?

Firstly, we need to take a step back.  In the UK, applications for care orders will not been heard unless mediation has been attempted.  It is a legal requirement, the aim of which was to reduce the volume of applications going to court.  Sadly, if you are dealing with a hostile ex mediation will not work.  Mainly because (much like co-parenting) it requires them to cooperate and negotiate.  Narcissists don’t negotiate.  They have a “my way or no way” attitude and so invariably you will have your C100 signed off giving you permission to apply to the court.

 

Child court order (or Child Arrangement Orders) have replaced residency and contact orders.  They decide:

  • where your child lives
  • when your child spends time with each parent
  • when and what other types of contact take place (phone calls, for example)

As long as you have PR, you can apply for a CAO.  In order to apply you must follow these steps to apply for a court order.

  1. Read guidance CB001 on making an application.
  2. Fill in the C100 court form. You must show you’ve attended a meeting about mediation first – except in certain cases (there’s been domestic abuse, for example).
  3. Send the original form and 3 copies of it to the nearest court that deals with cases involving children.

 

It costs £215 to apply for a court order. After you apply for a court order, the court will arrange a ‘directions hearing’ with both parents if you apply for a court order (known as a First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment or FHDRA)

child court order

Cafcass

Children and Families Court Advisory and Support Services

There will usually be a family court adviser from the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (Cafcass) at the hearing. Before the first hearing Cafcass will do

 

  • Safeguarding checks: they carry out checks with the police and the local authority to find out whether there are any known safety or welfare risks to your children.
  • Telephone interview: In most cases, they will phone you and the other party to find out if either of you have any concerns about the safety and welfare of your children. You are unlikely to have a home visit before the first hearing. Only people who are parties to the case will be interviewed.
  • Safeguarding letter: At least three days before the first hearing Cafcass will provide the court with a short report on the outcomes of the safeguarding checks and any child welfare issues raised in the telephone interviews with you and the other party.

At the hearing, a judge or magistrate will try to work out:

  • what you can agree
  • what you cannot agree
  • if your child is at risk in any way

They’ll encourage you to reach an agreement if it’s in the child’s best interests. If you can, and there are no concerns about the child’s welfare, the judge or magistrate can end the process.

 

The court will make a consent order which sets out what you’ve agreed, if necessary.

 

If you cannot agree at the first court hearing the judge or magistrate will set a timetable for what happens next.

 

They may ask you to try again to reach an agreement, for example by going to a meeting with a mediator.

 

You may have to go on a course if your case is about child arrangements. The course is called a ‘Separated Parents Information Programme’, and could help you find a way to make child arrangements work.

 

The court can ask Cafcass to provide a report on your case to help decide what’s best for the child (known as a section 7). The Cafcass officer may ask your child about their feelings. You’ll get a copy of the report when it’s written.

 

The judge or magistrate will consider:

  • child’s wishes and feelings
  • child’s physical, emotional and educational needs
  • effect any changes may have on the child
  • child’s age, gender, characteristics and background
  • possible risk of harm to the child
  • ability of parents to meet the child’s needs
  • orders the court has the power to make

 

A judge or magistrate will only make an order if they think it’s in the child’s best interests. 

(from www.gov.uk)

Do you

If your ex is stopping you from seeing the children or making co-parenting extremely difficult, then yes, you need one.  

  1. Your ex will not negotiate with you at all and so it is your own real way of being part of the decision making process with regards to your children
  2. Any parent who tries to erase a parent out of their child’s life needs to be held to account.  Mild cases will usually be resolved through the “Separated Parents Information Programme” but moderate to severe cases often involve a parent with mental health issues which will need to be managed.  If their behaviour is allowed to continue, you can find yourself completely alienated from your own children.

Is it worth it?

I wanted to add this section because although it is absolutely necessary and your only real option at this moment in time, I do feel you need to be aware of the realities of going to Family Court.  

 

With certain personality types, they will see the court process as an opportunity for them to not only bleed you dry, but also to play the hero and victim in one go.  They will present as a victim of your treatment (abuse claims are common) and the hero for trying to keep the children safe.  They will rope in the children to deliver this powerful and damning report which is incredibly harmful to the children.  In any other circumstance I would also argue for keeping children and families out of court.  However, if you don’t go to court you are not only kissing goodbye to a relationship with your children but also ensuring only one side of the situation is ever heard.  By fighting through court (and unfortunately it is a battle) you are showing the children in the only way possible, that you want them in your life.  

 

One other point is that even with a CAO, if your ex is determined, they will do everything they can to breach it and not comply.  They will make continued false allegations to delay the process and they will induce behaviours in the children which make them believe you are dangerous and so they should stay away from you.  Sadly, the court doesn’t have a robust system for dealing with this and so breached go unpunished and Fact Finding Hearings delay contact for months at a time.  

 

I realise this is a bleak picture but parental alienation (the psychological manipulation of a child to reject their loving parent) is a very real issue in the court process and one which you need to be aware of.  Hopefully your ex is not severe but if you check multiple items on the list below, you are likely to be dealing with a personality disordered individual and need help FAST. 

Your Best Weapon Yet

Everything you need to know about parental alienation

The post Child Court Order – What Is It And Do I Need One? appeared first on The Nurturing Coach.

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Want to resolve your Texas family law case outside of court? Remember these rules of engagement

Special Needs Trusts: What they are and how they can impact your Texas divorce

Originally published by The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC Blog.

Special needs trusts are designed to hold onto assets of a person who is receiving governmental benefits like Supplemental Security Income (SSI) and Medicaid. Whatever assets are held in the trust would be available to augment and add to the level of care that a disabled needs. The main force of the special needs trust is that the person would still be eligible to receive the government benefits that they need due to those assets being held inside of the trust, rather than at their ready disposal or usage.

There are two varieties of special needs trusts. For example, you could create a special needs trust for a child of yours who has a special need or a disability. That special needs trusts may be created by you, your spouse or by both of you under estate planning provisions. The other type of special needs trust is one where the trust is created out of the special needs’ person’s assets or money. These trusts will reimburse Medicaid for any funds spent on the special needs’ person’s behalf.

What impact will a special needs trust have on your divorce

If your child or you are receiving benefits from Social Security or Medicaid, those agencies provide only limited guidance for you and your spouse in a divorce setting. Special needs trusts can play an important role in the negotiation and settlement process in divorces because they allow for you and your spouse to plan on how finances will be handled immediately after a divorce. This is critically important when one of the parties or your children have a special need and rely in part on government assistance to receive medical care, pay bills or both. Spousal maintenance, child support, and other court-ordered payments can be held in these trusts.

Think about this example to better illustrate my point. Suppose that you have a fifteen-year-old son who receives $500 per month in SSI benefits as well as Medicaid. Within your final decree of divorce, your ex-spouse is ordered to pay you $750 per month in child support which is paid directly to you.

Under the rules of Social Security, 1/3 of the child support that you receive is excluded from income limits that go towards determining eligibility, only $500 goes toward the government’s calculation of income and assets to determine whether or not your child is eligible to receive SSI benefits and Medicaid. Even still, the $500 of support that counts towards the calculation will wipe out the $500 of potential benefits ($500-$500 = $0). That means no SSI benefit every month and no Medicaid to help pay for necessary medical treatment. You may have been planning the entire divorce to live in part on the child support and SSI payments. Now you are in a position where you have only one of those sums to count on for survival.

Here is how you can structure your final decree of divorce to protect yourself and your child in the future. The final decree of divorce should require your ex-spouse to pay the child support directly to your child’s special needs trust. That will allow you to slip by the government’s income/assets test and receive both SSI and child support. This benefits you and your child and does not harm your ex-spouse in any way. It is a win-win all the way around.

Yes, there are costs associated with creating a special needs trust. You may even have to hire an estate planning attorney to at least give guidance on the subject if not create the whole thing for you and your family. However, the short-term investment than hiring an attorney and creating the trust entails will be quickly canceled out by the increase in benefits and child support that you are fully able to take advantage of. Medicaid eligibility is a huge part of the equation, one that you may not be able to accurately project how much money you will save throughout your special needs child’s life.

The bottom line is that you can have your child support payments ordered to be put into a Special Needs Trust. The cash payments by your ex-spouse which instead be converted into distributions by the Trust whenever they are needed.

Take care of these issues before your divorce is over with

Another important point that I want to stress to all of you today is that you should do whatever it takes to have the issues settled before your divorce concludes. If you do not, you run the risk of having the SSI payments reduced by the child support (as we saw above) or lost completely due to your receiving child support payments.

Whenever a child support figure is set, whether by agreement or order from a judge, I would recommend that the attorneys in your case agree to hire an attorney who has experience creating special needs trusts. There are details that this attorney must be able to sort out and it is not common to find a family law attorney who is also a competent builder of a special needs trust.

As far as your final decree of divorce is concerned, it should order that your ex-spouse make a payment for your child’s special needs to the Trustee of the Special Needs Trust each month. The resources and programs that are available to you and your child should be considered when negotiating child support. A judge will do so, and it makes sense for you to consider that when making a settlement offer for child support. Also, you need to think ahead to the future to determine if your child will need either more or less care and therefore monetary support as he or she ages.

I know of some people who would tie the amount of child support paid to the amount of SSI benefits that are paid. They would take the amount of SSI benefits and subtract that amount from the amount of child support that would otherwise be agreed to. That reduced amount would be the child support figure that is agreed to. Here is why I think that is a bad idea and why I would advise a client against doing so.

If your daughter is disabled and your divorce decree states that there will be an offset of the child support obligation for each dollar received in SSI benefits, this does not take into consideration that your child’s needs may increase. You can try to go back to court in the future to have the child support orders modified based on a substantial change in the circumstances of your case and probably win on that basis. The increase would need to be reported to the Social Security Administration. This will cause a substantial decrease in the amount of SSI that your child can receive.

There is a chain reaction that follows this decrease in SSI benefits due to your divorce decree tying the amount of child support that your ex-spouse has to pay to the amount of SSI benefits that your child receives from the government. The lesser amount of SSI increases the child support obligation, so on and so forth. What you have done is set yourself up for a roller coaster ride of increases and decreases in the number of benefits you receive and child support that your ex-husband has been ordered to pay you. This will go on and on until the SSI benefits completely go away.

As far as I can tell, you should just agree to a specific dollar value for child support. Do not tie child support to the SSI benefits that are also received. Do not have the child support payments go to you directly, but rather into a special needs trust. Your case will not look exactly like any of these examples that I have provided you with today. With that said, I think these examples can paint a clearer picture of the circumstances that you need to be aware of. Along with your attorney, look into your options and you can plan a course for your case that benefits you and your child.

How will a judge determine that your child is disabled?

The definition of “disabled” changes depending on who or what group you are asking. The DMV may find your grandmother to be disabled just based on a note sent by her doctor. The military may declare you to be disabled when you are not able to pass several mental or physical tests. Social Security makes disability determinations based on the ability to work and earn a sufficient income for yourself to live on.

Your family court judge has their criteria to look to when determining whether or not your child suffers from a disability. Whether your child requires substantial care and personal supervision because of mental or physical impairment is an important part of the judge’s analysis. Those impairments must also render your child unable to care for himself or to provide a basic level of self-support. These impairments must be in place before your child’s 18thbirthday, as well.

If you are trying to establish in your divorce that your child is disabled, you are likely trying to do the same through Social Security to establish SSI benefits for him or her. The impairment must be expected to last for at least 12 months or result in the death of your child to be approved for SSI. AS I mentioned earlier, it is a job-based analysis that Social Security will undertake. If your child is not expected to be able to work on a full time, sustained basis.

It is likely that if your child has already been approved for SSI benefits, he or she would also meet the first part of the disabled test for Texas family courts. That is, your child would be unable to support him or herself absent monetary support from one of their parents (or both). Requiring constant supervision and care is not necessarily a part of the SSI analysis, but it would follow that requiring constant and around the clock, care would mean that your child is also unable to perform substantial gainful activities in the workplace.

If your child has not yet been examined by Social Security for benefits, then your child’s doctor’s will need to act as witnesses in a trial or hearing to help establish their disability. Often teachers will work closely with special needs children and are therefore great at testifying as to their limitations currently and their prognosis in the future. These folks have direct experiences with your child and are oftentimes stronger witnesses than medical experts who know nothing of your child beyond the medical records provided to them.

You may want to consider videotaping your child throughout a day just to give the judge an idea of what a typical day looks like for your child. What special needs does your child have? Do you have to go to great lengths to feed, bathe or care for your child? This can be especially powerful evidence if your ex-spouse testifies that your child’s condition is not that severe and that child support after adulthood is reached would not be necessary.

More on child support for disabled children in tomorrow’s blog post

Thank you for choosing to spend part of your day with us here on our blog. We enjoy sharing relevant information with you and helping the people in our community. If you have any questions about today’s blog please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free of charge consultations six days a week. These consultations are a great opportunity to learn more about family law, to ask questions of an experienced family law attorney and to receive feedback about your particular circumstances.

Curated by Texas Bar Today. Follow us on Twitter @texasbartoday.



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