55 things most people don’t know about healing from narcissistic abuse

55 things most people don’t know about healing from narcissistic abuse

Healing from narcissistic abuse is a journey that can be long and challenging. It’s not something that can be accomplished overnight, but with patience, self-care, and the right tools, it’s possible to overcome the trauma and move forward towards a healthier and happier life. 


What are the symptoms of narcissistic abuse?


Here are some symptoms of narcissistic abuse:


  • Intrusive, invasive, or unwanted thoughts
  • Flashbacks
  • Avoidance
  • Feelings of loneliness and isolation
  • Feeling extremely alert
  • Cognitive difficulties including confusion, hypervigilance, or intrusive thoughts
  • Behavioral issues including withdrawal
  • Physical symptoms such as appetite changes, trouble sleeping, fatigue, and stomach problems
  • Low self-worth
  • Heightened stress levels
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Fear
  • Disorientation
  • Anger
  • Worthlessness or uselessness
  • Extreme irritability and feeling constantly on guard


Victims of narcissistic abuse may experience symptoms similar to PTSD, known informally as narcissistic abuse syndrome. It is important to seek professional help if you are experiencing any of these symptoms.


What do you need to know about healing from narcissistic abuse?


Here are 55 things about how to heal from narcissistic abuse that most people don’t know:

  1. Understand that narcissistic abuse is real and can have devastating effects on your life.
  2. Recognise the signs of narcissistic abuse, such as gaslighting, manipulation, and control.
  3. Seek professional help from a therapist who specialises in narcissistic abuse.
  4. Join a support group for survivors of narcissistic abuse.
  5. Practise self-compassion and self-care.
  6. Learn to set healthy boundaries.
  7. Recognise that the narcissist may never change, and it’s not your responsibility to try to change them.
  8. Take time to grieve the loss of the relationship, even if it was toxic.
  9. Don’t blame yourself for the abuse.
  10. Focus on your own healing and growth.
  11. Develop a support system of friends and family who believe and support you.
  12. Be patient with yourself and the healing process.
  13. Take time to reflect on the patterns in your relationships and how to break them.
  14. Allow yourself to feel your emotions, even the painful ones.
  15. Consider meditation or mindfulness practices to help you stay present.
  16. Recognise that healing from narcissistic abuse is not linear.
  17. Learn to trust your own instincts and intuition.
  18. Develop healthy coping mechanisms to manage stress and anxiety.
  19. Practice forgiveness, not for the narcissist but for yourself.
  20. Let go of the need to seek closure from the narcissist.
  21. Recognize that the narcissist may try to hoover you back into the relationship.
  22. Journal your thoughts and feelings to help process the trauma.
  23. Seek legal advice if necessary.
  24. Remember that it’s okay to say “no” to the narcissist.
  25. Learn to identify your triggers and how to manage them.
  26. Don’t isolate yourself from others.
  27. Recognize that healing from narcissistic abuse can take time.
  28. Be open to new experiences and relationships.
  29. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.
  30. Don’t compare yourself to others.
  31. Seek validation from within, not from the narcissist.
  32. Practice self-love and self-acceptance.
  33. Remember that healing is a process, not a destination.
  34. Don’t let the narcissist make you doubt your reality.
  35. Learn to detach emotionally from the narcissist.
  36. Take time for self-reflection and introspection.
  37. Don’t try to change the narcissist.
  38. Focus on building healthy relationships.
  39. Be kind to yourself.
  40. Recognize that healing from narcissistic abuse is not a sign of weakness.
  41. Learn to express your needs and wants.
  42. Practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness.
  43. Surround yourself with positive people who uplift you.
  44. Remember that the abuse is not your fault.
  45. Practice gratitude and focus on the positive things in your life.
  46. Develop a self-care routine.
  47. Learn to trust yourself again.
  48. Don’t allow the narcissist to make you feel guilty.
  49. Remember that you have the power to heal.
  50. Don’t rush the healing process.
  51. Learn to communicate assertively.
  52. Don’t let the narcissist control your life.
  53. Practice self-acceptance and self-love.
  54. Seek out new hobbies and interests.
  55. Remember that healing is a journey, not

Healing from narcissistic abuse is a long and difficult process, but it is possible. The first step is to recognize that you have been abused and that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Once you have made this realisation, you can begin to take steps to heal.


One of the most important things you can do is to create a support system of people who will believe you and support you. This could include friends, family, therapists, or support groups. It is also important to take care of yourself physically and emotionally. This could include eating healthy, exercising, and getting enough sleep. It is also important to find healthy ways to cope with your emotions, such as journaling, talking to a therapist, or practising mindfulness.


Healing from narcissistic abuse takes time, but it is possible. With the right support, you can overcome the abuse and rebuild your life.


How to find a therapist who specialises in narcissistic abuse recovery


Here are some ways to find a therapist who specialises in narcissistic abuse recovery:

  1. Use online directories: Websites like Psychology Today and GoodTherapy allow you to search for therapists by location and specialty, including narcissistic abuse recovery.
  2. Ask for referrals: Reach out to friends, family members, or support groups for recommendations on therapists who specialise in narcissistic abuse recovery.
  3. Contact domestic violence hotlines: Domestic violence hotlines can provide you with resources and referrals to therapists who specialise in narcissistic abuse recovery.
  4. Research therapists: Look up therapists in your area and read their bios to see if they specialise in narcissistic abuse recovery. You can also check their credentials and experience.
  5. Consider online therapy: Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp and Talkspace offer access to licensed therapists who specialise in narcissistic abuse recovery from the comfort of your own home.


Remember that finding the right therapist is important, so take the time to research and ask questions before committing to a therapist.


What are some questions to ask a therapist before starting treatment for healing from narcissistic abuse


Here are some questions to ask a therapist before starting treatment for narcissistic abuse recovery:


  1. What is your experience in treating clients who have experienced narcissistic abuse?
  2. What is your approach to therapy, and how do you think it can help me in my recovery?
  3. How long do you think it will take for me to see progress in my recovery?
  4. What kind of therapy do you recommend for my specific situation?
  5. How will you help me set goals and track my progress in therapy?
  6. How will you help me cope with any setbacks or challenges that may arise during my recovery?
  7. How will you ensure that I feel safe and supported during our therapy sessions?


Remember that finding the right therapist is important, so take the time to ask questions and make sure you feel comfortable with the therapist before starting treatment.

We hope you will choose to take a look at The Nurturing Coach team

when considering a specialist therapist

We are experts and specialise in helping people heal from narcissistic abuse

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My Blog – Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
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My Blog

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

What is narcissistic abuse?

Narcissistic abuse refers to a pattern of manipulative behaviors employed by someone with narcissistic personality disorder to control and dominate their victims emotionally, psychologically, or even physically.

How do narcissists manipulate their victims?

Narcissists employ various manipulative tactics such as gaslighting, belittling, guilt-tripping, and creating a false reality to exert control over their victims.

Is healing from narcissistic abuse possible?

Yes, healing from narcissistic abuse is possible with time, effort, and the right support system. It’s a journey of self-discovery and rebuilding one’s life.

Can therapy be helpful for healing from narcissistic abuse?

Yes, therapy can play a crucial role in the healing process. It provides a safe space for victims to process their experiences, gain validation, learn coping strategies, and rebuild their sense of self.

How can survivors rebuild their self-esteem after narcissistic abuse?

Rebuilding self-esteem requires self-compassion, challenging negative self-talk, setting boundaries, and surrounding oneself with positive and supportive influences.

Is it normal to have setbacks during the healing journey?

Yes, setbacks are a common part of the healing process.

The post 55 things most people don’t know about healing from narcissistic abuse appeared first on The Nurturing Coach.


Reclaiming Your Power: The Role of Spiritual Growth in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Reclaiming Your Power: The Role of Spiritual Growth in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Narcissistic abuse is a form of psychological abuse that is characterised by a pattern of manipulation, gaslighting, and control. It can leave victims feeling powerless, lost, and unable to trust themselves or others. While there are many ways to approach healing from narcissistic abuse, one powerful tool is spiritual growth. In this article, we will explore the connection between spiritual growth and narcissistic abuse recovery and how it can help you reclaim your power.


What is Narcissistic Abuse?


Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse that is inflicted by someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder.


Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy for others. They manipulate, gaslight, and control their victims to maintain their power and control over them.


Narcissistic abuse can take many forms, including:

  • Verbal abuse
  • Emotional manipulation
  • Gaslighting
  • Isolation
  • Intimidation
  • Financial abuse
  • Sexual abuse


The effects of narcissistic abuse can be devastating and long-lasting. Victims may experience anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a range of physical symptoms. They may also struggle with trust, self-esteem, and their ability to form healthy relationships.

Traditional Therapy Approaches to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery


Traditional therapy approaches, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), can be helpful in treating the effects of narcissistic abuse. CBT helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and beliefs that contribute to their emotional distress. This can help victims of narcissistic abuse to reframe their experiences and regain a sense of control over their lives.


Other therapy approaches, such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), can also be effective in treating the symptoms of narcissistic abuse. DBT focuses on building emotional regulation skills and improving interpersonal relationships, while EMDR helps individuals process and reprocess traumatic memories.

For our full range of traditional therapy approaches check out our Support page.

What is Spiritual Growth?


Spiritual growth is the process of developing a deeper connection with oneself, others, and the world around us. It involves exploring our beliefs, values, and purpose in life. Spiritual growth can take many forms, including:

  • Meditation
  • Prayer
  • Yoga
  • Mindfulness
  • Journaling
  • Self-reflection
  • Gratitude


Spiritual growth is not limited to any particular religion or belief system. It is a personal journey that can be tailored to meet the needs and preferences of each individual.


The Connection Between Spiritual Growth and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery


Spiritual growth can play a vital role in healing from narcissistic abuse. Here are some of the ways it can help:

  • Developing Self-Awareness

Spiritual growth involves self-reflection and introspection. It can help you develop a deeper understanding of yourself and your patterns of behaviour. This self-awareness is essential in recognising and breaking free from the patterns of manipulation and control that are characteristic of narcissistic abuse.  I played my own role in the relationship and taking responsibility for that helped me to make changes and to empower myself to be the best version of myself.

  • Building Resilience

Spiritual growth can help you build resilience and cope with the challenges of healing from narcissistic abuse. Practices like meditation, mindfulness, and yoga can help you develop a greater sense of calm and inner peace, even in the midst of difficult emotions.  I now feel confident that I can handle anything and everything that comes my way.  That doesn’t mean bad things won’t or don’t happen but that I have the inner strength to deal with them and to feel all of the emotions without judgement.

  • Finding Meaning and Purpose

Narcissistic abuse can leave victims feeling lost and disconnected from their sense of purpose. Spiritual growth can help you reconnect with your values and beliefs, and find meaning in your life beyond the abuse.  Knowing I am important and have a purpose, really raised by self esteem and gave me a reason for everything.  I began to feel grateful for my life just as it was rather than wishing it was different and therefore focusing on the negatives.  That shift alone led to me feeling happier every day.

  • Provides a sense of connection

Spiritual practices, such as meditation, prayer, or attending religious services, can help individuals feel more connected to something larger than themselves. This can provide a sense of comfort and support that can be particularly helpful during difficult times.  The feeling of being part of something bigger than myself, put my experience into perspective and gave me a sense of belonging I had been longing for all my life and which contributed to my vulnerability.

  • Encourages self-reflection

Spiritual practices can also encourage self-reflection and introspection, which can help individuals better understand their experiences and emotions. This self-awareness can be particularly important for those who have experienced narcissistic abuse, as it can help them recognise when they are being manipulated or mistreated.  Being able to take responsibility for my own behaviour and how I contributed to the dynamic (not blaming myself however) I was able to shift from feeling like a victim into feeling I had more control over myself and my life choices.

  • Helps with forgiveness

Spiritual practices can also help individuals find forgiveness, both for themselves and for their abusers, although this isn’t necessary. Forgiveness can be a powerful tool for healing, as it can help individuals let go of anger and resentment and move forward with their lives.  If you don’t feel ready to forgive, that is absolutely within your rights.  I personally found forgiveness set me free but trust your own feelings.

  • Promotes inner peace

Spiritual practices can also promote inner peace and calmness, which can be particularly important for those who have experienced trauma. By cultivating a sense of inner peace, individuals can better cope with the challenges of healing from narcissistic abuse.  Meditation, EFT and the Neuro-resilience Toolkit helped me to feel calmer and feel a sense of inner safety.

In conclusion, narcissistic abuse can have a devastating impact on a person’s mental health and well-being. While traditional therapy approaches can be helpful in recovering from this type of abuse, spiritual growth can also play a significant role in the healing process. By cultivating a sense of connection, self-reflection, forgiveness, and inner peace through spiritual practices, individuals can regain their power and find the strength to move forward in their recovery. If you have experienced narcissistic abuse, know that you are not alone, and we have specific resources available to help you heal and reclaim your power. Please check out our Spiritual Coaching page for more details.

The post Reclaiming Your Power: The Role of Spiritual Growth in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery appeared first on The Nurturing Coach.


No Contact The Truth

No Contact The Truth

Happy New Year to you all, and welcome to the first Thriver TV of 2023!

Today’s topic is No Contact, which most of us in this community know is necessary when healing from narcissistic abuse.

Yet exactly how to achieve this without self-sabotaging is much less commonly understood. In most cases, No Contact will fail at least once, and this is very often down to overlooking the very real energetic and emotional components.

True No Contact is more than just ignoring the narcissist, or even blocking them everywhere and avoiding them and their friends. Done properly, No Contact can break the obsession, and give you the space and peace that will enable you to break the psychic bonds, cut off the narcissist’s energetic feed and help you to break free into your new life.

Today I explain how to achieve this, even in situations that seem impossible, such as sharing children or working with a narcissist. And I go over those subtle tweaks that make all the difference to your success.

I’m looking forward to sharing this first Thriver TV episode of 2023, so I’d love you to join me!



Video Transcript

I am thrilled to be back from the holidays and New Year break, and I’m so excited about what we’re going to be sharing in 2023! I hope everybody had a refreshing break and that you are ready for this incredible year that we’re going to be sharing, of healing, thriving and expanding together.

Today I wanted to start off the year by talking about one of those dynamite topics that is so vital to understand yet can be so confusing – No Contact.

But first, I just want to remind you, if you haven’t yet subscribed to my YouTube channel, please do. Also hit the notification bell so that you’ll hear about every new video I make. And if my material resonates with you, please make sure that you like and share it so that we can spread the word that you don’t have to just survive narcissistic abuse, you truly can heal and thrive from it.

There is great confusion about No Contact, so I want to go over some of the more subtle points, that can make it hard to understand and even more difficult to execute.

Maybe you’ve struggled because you didn’t know how to set up No Contact in the right way. Or maybe you haven’t understood the deeper emotional, energetic component to No Contact. Or maybe you think that No Contact isn’t possible, because you have to co-parent with the person, or you share a business, or are still going through a court case.

Maybe you’ve got Modified Contact a little confused and you don’t understand how No Contact is such a powerful part of Modified Contact – regardless of the terminology you are using.

Or you may be bamboozled that even after you have done so much study around No Contact and realising how vital it is, that you just can’t seem to maintain it. You may be wondering why you keep breaking it.

Why is this? What can be done to empower yourself to stick with No Contact?

Today I want to set these things straight.

Let’s start off with the basics.


What Does Going No Contact Mean?

Most people know that No Contact means that you block the narcissist in your phone and your emails, you don’t answer the door to them, and you don’t have any direct communication. This is super-important as your starting point.

The rule of thumb with No Contact is that if you touch poison, you get poisoned.

The narcissist in your life is poison because they know how to hook you, trigger you and communicate with you in a way that is going to get you to react and feed them narcissistic supply.

They know how to get you to keep trying for understanding, care, love or closure, which gives them your intense emotional attention. They know how to get you to try to get their repentance, their apology, their validation of what they did to you. They know how to keep you trying to hold them accountable when they refuse to be accountable. They know how to incense you by twisting the truth, blaming you, and accusing you of doing the things to them that they actually did to you. And so on and so forth.

Now, from our normal human viewpoint, we can believe that engaging with the narcissist will somehow bring us some soul peace, some sanity, something that will make us feel better. But from the narcissist viewpoint, they never have any intention of providing you with what you seek.

The narcissist is never interested in helping you heal. They simply want your intense emotional energy that grants them the significance of, “look at how important I am to be the center of somebody’s universe! They can’t move on because I am so significant!”

Participating in this keeps you trapped and energetically bonded to the narcissist – with no way out.

That’s the name of the game – and we lose when we try to stay connected to that person in any shape or form. If you’re taking poison, you are going to get poisoned.


No Response Instead Of No Contact

No Contact is not just about literal physical contact.

A lot of people think that No Response – not making contact or responding to a narcissist – is No Contact.

It’s not. No Response is not No Contact because you are energetically connecting every time the narcissist makes contact with you.

Let’s go back to the understanding that if you touch poison, you get poisoned. This means anything that represents the narcissist energetically is the ‘poison’.

For example, even though you may believe you are No Contact with a person, you may be looking at their social media profile. Or maybe you are driving by their home to check out what cars are parked at their place. Maybe you are talking to people who know the narcissist to try to get information. You might find yourself reading their old letters or emails. You may start trying to fact-find about every person who is on their ‘friends’ list to try to work out what that relationship is about.

This is all breaking No Contact.

You can’t have it both ways. You can’t tell yourself you are having No Contact when you’re touching the poison and poisoning yourself. And you know that you’re poisoning yourself because you will feel it like black ink in your body.

You feel like your energy is sucked out. You feel yourself obsessing again. You feel yourself triggered and experiencing bouts of C-PTSD. You can barely function, let alone rebuild and get on with your new life. Your life force is getting sucked via the trauma bond that you still have with the narcissist because you’re breaking No Contact energetically, emotionally and maybe even physically.

Let’s get very, very clear. Narcissists are psychic vampires. This is a spiritual battle for your soul.

Your emotional, energetic self, which is the expression and the life force of your Inner Being, has been hijacked and captured in a trauma bond with the narcissist. So even if you are not having physical contact with this person, they are still sucking your life force through this trauma bond and getting a feed.

I’ve seen the evidence of this more times than you could imagine. It’s as though they have a hose into your Inner Being, and are sucking out your life force every time you read their profile, or an old email or birthday card.

So No Contact means you go No Contact with these things too. You have to make boundaries with yourself to start recovering for real.




True No Contact

This means blocking every avenue the narcissist may use to contact you, and it also means blocking every avenue you may use to connect to them in any way.

Block their profiles so that you are not tempted to look this person up. Stay away from people they know for a while, and delete their numbers, so that you don’t hear information and are not tempted to ask.

Change your routine to stay away and heal.

You may think that this is impossible because you work with this person, or co-parent, or have court cases. But it isn’t with strict boundaries.

It’s very important to set up third party channels. Use an intermediary, which may be your solicitor, or in the case of parenting communications it could be a monitored portal such as Our Family Wizard.

When you share children, be sure to have parenting orders in place and stick to them. Organise drop offs/pick ups via a contact centre or other intermediary. Look up ‘parallel parenting Melanie Tonia Evans’ via a search engine because that’s going to help you understand how you can do No Contact whilst you have children with a narcissist. The best thing you can do for you, your future and your children is to detach, dissolve ties, and heal your spirit, soul and sanity back to wholeness as soon as possible.

If this person is in your space, such as a work space, you could imagine a huge red ‘Poison’ warning over them. Avoid them, ignore them, set up your work routine as far away from them as possible, and keep healing, letting go and empowering yourself – holding this firm truth within you: “This person is not my reality and does not exist to me.”

If you try to smear them, warn people or have discussions with others about them then you will stay hooked in and obsessed – and this person will still own your soul. If they simply don’t exist in any shape or form to you, then they don’t.


Your Ego Tricking You

Every single one of us went through the terrible battle that is staying the course of No Contact. It’s usual to break No Contact many times. Its our egoic mind that tricks us into this.

Often this happens after taking the poison again – talking to someone to fact find and then feeling terrible anxiety, panic or loss; finding out something that shocks or hurts you so much that you confront the narcissist; reading this person’s messages, or looking them up on social media.

So throw away those old letters and cards, or burn them so that they are not there tempting you – because your ego can have you believe that you can read that text message one more time, or look at the profile or memorabilia one more time.

This is like a person trying to give up cigarettes, who always uses the excuse of ‘just one more’ or “I’ll quit tomorrow”. Tomorrow never comes.

‘One more time’ is even more dire when it comes to a narcissist because we break No Contact and strengthen the energetic ties every time we trick ourselves into one of these sneaky contacts.

Egos are very tricksy! They might tell us that we need to investigate the narcissist’s connections to work out what they are up to in order to keep ourselves safe, or protect ourselves from a smear campaign or other manipulations by trying to work out who are their minions. Kind of like keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

If you are already working with Quanta Freedom Healing, be aware that ego is so wily that it may even have you believing that things like looking at the narcissist’s profile, or reading their emails is a good way to ‘bring up the trauma to shift it out’.

Whatever the justification, and whatever the excuse, in this spiritual battle for your soul, every time you take the poison, you’re getting poisoned.

You’re also increasing the trauma bond, which means you’ll be triggered into obsession and into an inability to get resolution and move on. This puts you at grave risk of not only a stunted recovery, but also of literally going back to the narcissist.

Indulging in information, whatever the ego-justification for it, means that you will inevitably be triggered into all sorts of trauma – fear, anxiety, loss, and anger at the injustice. I promise you that the outcome of this will be you then trying to force the narcissist to give you some form of resolution – and that resolution will never come.

So please understand – not communicating or not responding is not enough. True no contact means you don’t touch their energy or anything connected to them. You literally go cold turkey.

Detox, let go, and clean out – because that’s how you’re going to take your soul back and that’s how you’re going to be able to start healing.


How To Use No Contact To Heal from Narcissistic Abuse

Please be very clear that No Contact alone does not heal you – any more than getting away from a crime scene heals you. It sets the stage for the healing to begin, and this is a challenge because you have been used to being caught up in survival and in the fight.

When you go No Contact and get space away from the narcissist and the battle for survival, things that happened last week, last month and in the preceding years all have a chance to catch up and impact you. This is ‘Aftershock’, and it takes many people by surprise, because they feel worse and not better when they are No Contact.

The obsession and the trauma bond, which is a literal addiction to a narcissist, gets highly activated.

You can’t stop thinking about them and you want to keep connecting to them in some way, even though it’s destroying you. You think you’re going crazy, you think this person has completely psychically vandalized you. It feels like some crazy disease – like they’re crawling around under your skin, in your head, in your heart. At times it feels desperate, unbreakable and unhealable. And it can also feel like the only way to out of this torture is to go back or to keep breaking No Contact.

That’s what trauma bonds do. So this is the vital time where you have to get your energetic focus off the narcissist and place it onto taking back your soul, your spirit, your sanity and your life force. It is the time to heal your relationship with your own inner soul and spirit. This is the part of you that controls and generates your entire life – and that’s what the narcissist captured and hijacked.

Your soul and sprit, your Inner Being, the Real You doesn’t need or want the narcissist to fix this, and it’s just not possible anyway. Rather he or she is screaming out for you, as your own saviour and healer, to meet these inner parts of you and heal them up to wholeness.

This is the time of the make or break deal – that if you commit to this and do this shadow recovery work (which can be achieved powerfully and quickly with inner Quantum Healing Work), then this will be the most important turning point of your life.

Not only will this detox and liberate you from narcissists, it will also heal and repair the pattern of being in relationships with toxic people in your future.

In Conclusion

This is why quantum inner tools are a lot more powerful than logical ways like learning. reading or trying to create cognitive change. They are core, soul and spirit based and so they’re very effective in this whole process of holding No Contact, surviving the aftershock, getting the focus off the narcissist and getting your soul and your spirit back.

This is not only about finally severing the trauma bond with the narcissist, it’s also about being able to reprogram your inner soul and spirit so that you are no longer going to play out unconscious, traumatic, toxic relationship patterns. You will have evolved and graduated to a level free of those, where you’re going to be able to generate and maintain healthier choices and relationships.

That’s the work I’m really passionate about, and by clicking here you can connect to the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP). This is the program that I and thousands of others in this community have used to effectively hold No Contact.

NARP Gold comes with coaching and support via the NARP Community Forum, so that you can finally heal and not just survive, but thrive as a result of this.

I hope today’s No Contact topic has been really helpful for you – let me know in the comments below!

So until the next one, keep smiling, keep healing, and keep thriving because there is nothing else to do. Lots of love.


What Causes Narcissism?

One of the questions I get asked over and over is “what causes narcissism”. So today’s Thriver TV episode is my take on this.

Of course, I cover the impact of nature and nurture. But most importantly I wanted to go even deeper, into the spiritual cause and meaning of narcissism.

The debate around the importance of nature versus nurture will continue – but the spiritual causes affect all of us, not only narcissists. We can all find ourselves in separation consciousness, and it is recognition of this that has so many of us asking ‘am I the narcissist?’

I hope this TTV has you looking within, as well as towards your abuser, so that you can have an understanding of the difference between us and narcissists – and how our healing can change ourselves, humanity and ultimately the world.



Video Transcript

Today I want to talk about what creates narcissism and I want to look at this from a psychological, genetic, and spiritual perspective.

If you haven’t yet subscribed to my YouTube channel, please do so and hit the notification bell so that you’ll know of each new video that I release. I’d love for you to share my videos and ‘like’ them so that we can let people know that it is possible to heal for real from narcissistic abuse.

Now on to what causes narcissism? It’s one of those million dollar questions that a lot of you ask all the time.



First of all I want to look at Nature. For example, I’ve got two beautiful pussy cats who are sisters from the same litter yet they have completely different personalities. One’s really sweet and the other one is a lot more complex, and she has a lot more defense mechanisms.

This can be the same even with identical twins. Every parent knows that each of their children can seem to have a completely different personality make up

We don’t just acquire hair color and eye color. Just as we may express blue eyes or brown eyes, or dark hair or blonde hair, we also may express certain personality traits that we’ve picked up genetically from our ancestors.

A lot of our great neuroscientists, quantum scientists and genetic experts are really proving this. Our genetic composition can include certain survival programs, fears or traumas which another child in the same family doesn’t have, and this will express as differing personalities.

Narcissism is about fear and defences. Narcissists have an enlarged amygdala and exaggerated defense mechanisms. They react from their primitive brain rather than anchoring into a more reasonable and emotionally secure way of dealing with things, and this can be present from earliest childhood.



Now let’s look at nurture.

Nurture is, for example, being born into an environment where you have a narcissistic parent. Such a parent is abusive, selfish and everything is all about them. They are neglectful and their child isn’t validated or respected for their own needs, views or ideas. Instead, this child is taught that they’re not good enough, that they’re not important and that they’re not valued. They are completely invalidated and this can create narcissism.

A child treated in this way will make an internal decision that “as myself, I’m not getting my needs met. As myself, I can’t emotionally survive or function in the world. I need to create some kind of strategy to be able to get along.”

Children can also suffer abuse or violation. It could be mental, physical, spiritual or sexual abuse, which results in a situation where the true self is submerged because it’s way too painful and a false self will come forth.

There’s two ways that this can go with children. We have the narcissist and we have the codependent.

The narcissist is, “I’m going to create a fictitious false self – the ‘me’ that I would like to be. So my buffer to stop the pain is to imagine that I’m omnipotent, I’m magnificent, I’m incredible and people fear me.” It’s a cartoon vision of a child self as a superhero, or somebody incredible.

This child may end up being the bully in the schoolyard because they feel so pumped up, important and superior that even from a young age they need to have other people bow down to them, respect them and give them what they need. Whereas their version at home could be very, very different because they’re the one that is being abused and they’re the one being bullied.

On the other hand, a child may also become codependent at a young age. These children ask themselves, “how do I survive the abuse and the neglect? Maybe it’s by me winning and earning love and approval by pleasing my parents, by being an over-accomplisher, by being the fixer, by being the helper, by being the good child.”

These are the people who may go on to be abused by a narcissist.

As a false self, a narcissist will be able to have lots of false narratives about life and themselves. They are well able to lie from an early age, looking people in the eyes and telling them a version of things that doesn’t even resemble the truth. They do this either to win approval or to shunt the blame elsewhere, usually onto the scapegoated child.

The narcissist will also do all sorts of bad things to get their share of the goodies. They’ll steal, lie, cheat and scheme. And then they’ll blame the scapegoated, codependent child of the family – the more sensitive child who’s trying to people-please to stay safe. They’re the ones that will get attacked by the narcissist in the family, and a narcissistic sibling will absolutely take it out on them.

There are other ways psychologically that a narcissist can be created too, including over-entitlement. Over-entitlement results from never saying no to a child, giving them whatever they want and giving them too much free rein in an attempt to please them and be loved by them. Rather than saying no, having limits, creating boundaries and holding firm in truths even at the risk of disagreements and them disliking you.

A narcissistic parent will usually have their golden child. This is a child that they use to feel better about themselves. They objectify this child – their looks, their sporting achievements, their academia or anything they can brag about – and live vicariously through them.

The golden child feels like they’re always on a pedestal and they’re superior. This can create narcissism. Not to say that every golden child that’s put in that position will become a narcissist because many of them are not. But it can create narcissism.




Now to the spiritual side of this. We are living in a human construct which is very conducive to narcissism.

This is because Source has been taken out of the equation. Source, meaning our higher self, prime creator, the light, life force, love, the wave function of oneness, and the interconnectedness of Unity Consciousness – which comes from Source /the prime creator.

If we are not filled and fulfilled with Source, we can’t have peace, inner solidness and an integration within ourselves, our soul, our spirit, our higher self and our world. When we are lacking that fulfillment, we are going to try to get filled from the outside – and this can never be durable and authentic. It will always be a false substitute.

This is things like buying the next flashy car; having a big pay packet; having a hot girlfriend or boyfriend; having people envy you; having your identity based in stuff, things and how many likes you get on Facebook; or how many people think you’re attractive and tell you you’re beautiful.

All of these false substitutes are feeding the ego. It may even be, “I’m such a nice person, I do all these lovely things” and then grandstanding your virtue to get attention and an ego feed.

So that is a huge problem in humanity. We get fixated on looking at ourselves through these identity-based classifications. We are getting away from the True Unity Consciousness identity, which is “I am Source. I’m a fractal of Source. I am a part of the divine mind, of oneness, of the higher consciousness – that I am a piece of as an eternal, immortal spiritual being, having a physical experience.” That’s where we get our wholeness and our connection from, and our peace and our power – true powerfulness.

Narcissism is not powerfulness: it’s powerlessness trying to be powerful.

True source is our true identity at the wave oneness function. That’s actually who we are. The further we get away from that, by making our identity as ‘my job’, ‘my skin color’, ‘my classification’, ‘my whatever’, the more we’re getting taken away from the Oneness – which is ourselves and all of life and Unity Consciousness.

So spiritually, narcissism is created through separation consciousness. “I’m different from you. It’s me versus you. I have to win and others have to lose for me to get my share of the goodies. I’m in lack, I’m in separation, I’m not blessed by Source, I’m not a part of Source, and I don’t know how to express myself as Source in life.” That’s narcissism. “I’m out in the cold on my own, having to scheme, lie, manipulate and do whatever it takes to get my share of the goodies because I don’t believe that I’m worthy, or whole, or deserving because I’m not connected to Source.”

That’s the spiritual aspect of it.


“Am I The Narcissist?”

You may sometimes have wondered “am I a narcissist?” because sometimes you feel empty and separated. You may know that you have people-pleased, or manipulated and had an agenda to try to be loved, approved of, and to get energy from the outside. Maybe you don’t feel any good unless you are getting ‘the stuff’.

Yet that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a narcissist. It means that you are suffering a spiritual deficiency within, where you haven’t yet come home to releasing the traumas that are keeping you in separation consciousness. By releasing those and filling with the light, which is unity consciousness, you can come home to true Source and original creator, and to knowing that you are a piece of original creator.

That’s why I’m so passionate about what I teach in healing from narcissistic abuse. True healing is getting out of separation consciousness where you can get taken down by narcissists, and getting out of that deficient trauma where you are susceptible to abusers. It is coming home to Unity Consciousness.

If we all did that, our world would be completely different, humanity would be completely different and this planet would be completely different.


In Conclusion

We can all have narcissistic traits. Does it mean that we have Narcissistic Personality Disorder? No.

If you’re in this community, it’s highly unlikely that you are a narcissist. That means we can heal and clean up those parts of us that are feeling powerless, trying to feel powerful by our skirmishes, and trying to get things from outside of ourselves rather than coming home to ourselves.

My Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program is a 10-step process to clean all of that up, come home to yourself and escape the world of connection to narcissists – because you evolve beyond it.

When we’re whole, solid and fulfilled, then we have no need to try to turn crumbs into cookies, or try to change and fix abusive people so that they will love us. We leave them behind and we move into much more authentic, genuine, fulfilling relationships.

It all starts with ourselves.

I hope that helps – let me know in the comments below.

Until the next one, keep smiling, keep healing and keep thriving – because there is nothing else to do!


What Do Narcissistic Abuse And Ascension Have In Common?

5 Symptoms Of Abuse That Can Be Healed

Today I want to reach out to you to give you hope – regarding how you can heal the five areas of your life that are severely impacted by narcissistic abuse – your emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, and financial health.

At the beginning of this article, I want to validate you with a deep dive into what has happened to you, why healing has been such a struggle, and to help you understand that you are not going crazy, nor are you defective, helpless, hopeless and unable to heal.

Then, as a result of taking you with me on this journey of information today, I hope that you can deeply feel the truth about how it is possible to heal for real from within.


The Reality Of Narcissistic Abuse

Being a victim of narcissistic abuse is horrifying. Terrible. Painful. It affects everything in your life, and the most frightening aspect of it is that it affects YOU. Your emotions, thoughts and your ability to function in everyday events, much less put back together the shattered pieces of your life.

We have all heard the expression “time heals all wounds”, and that is true for many things, yet for severe trauma that has impacted a person’s Inner Being, this doesn’t seem to be the case. I attest to this.

Previously (before the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program healing processes) I was shocked at how “time” wasn’t helping me heal. Over many years, and working with so many people from all over the world I have consistently seen many people, even decades after leaving a narcissist, not get better either.

In relation to the “time” theory, many people will tell you that healing from narcissistic abuse will take a great deal of time. I was told this as well. Now I know this is a false premise. Time is not the determinant of healing, healing itself is, and I promise you that healing can be rapid when you know how to heal the right way.

People will even tell you that the best you can do is try to find a way to manage your abuse symptoms, such as Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, for the rest of your life. This is just NOT true. I am living proof of this, as are thousands of people from all over the world who once were crippled with these symptoms and who no longer have them.

Let’s look more deeply at what happens to you emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and financially as a result of narcissistic abuse.


Narcissistic Abuse Symptoms

What is terrifying about narcissistic abuse is that you start to experience a breakdown of your emotions, body and nervous system in a way that you may never have experienced before.

Firstly, you start to feel anxious and then depressed. Confused and triggered. These kaleidoscopes of negative emotions escalate into feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, shame and even panic attacks. At the times of trying to reason with a narcissist, hold them accountable for shocking behaviour and uphold some of your own rights, you may feel so triggered that you feel paralysed, lifeless, or literally fighting for your sanity and life.

This takes a terrible toll. You absolutely are suffering from Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, meaning that it is not safe to be YOU. Unlike a traumatic event that happens then is over, that you can recover from, this traumatic pummelling keeps happening; and as the abuse deepens, it intensifies in severity and frequency.

Of course, you then experience a diminishing of your Life Force, hope and enjoyment in your personal relationships, interests, and missions. All of your Life Force that used to be available for self-expression and creativity has now been hijacked to try to emotionally survive.

You become withdrawn, isolated, cut off. Many people may not understand what you are going through. How can they when they have never experienced the spiritual war of narcissistic abuse? How can they when the narcissist has also usually been grooming these people to think “how wonderful this person is!”

Many people suffer agoraphobia, as a result of narcissistic abuse. A fear of being out in life. It may feel almost impossible to do. No longer do you feel safe to be in your body and in life, as yourself.

Then the body starts breaking down, as the emotional and nervous system is being continually “fried”, and you feel outer support is slipping away, and you are losing the ability to support yourself. Things like adrenal malfunctions, hair loss, fibromyalgia and flare ups of any previous illnesses or susceptibilities you have ever had occur and are common as your immune system continues to break down.

To make matters worse, you may be experiencing wild unhealthy swings with food, sleep and choices of trying to medicate away the pain and fear that you are experiencing. Maybe you can’t sleep without nightmares, or you are so depressed you are sleeping all the time. You may be totally turned off food, or eating extremely unhealthy comfort foods. Perhaps you are overindulging in caffeine, nicotine, alcohol or other drugs or unhealthy addictive pastimes as a way to try to numb out and cope.

All of which are making you sicker.

Financially you start to be impacted. You may be too sick to work or are under threat of losing your job. It is likely that the narcissist is siphoning out your money and resources anyway – because that is what they do. Maybe the narcissist has grabbed control of the finances and taken away your ability to earn or have access to funds. The narcissist will have already sealed up or will be trying to work matters to their favour, so that when the relationship collapses, he or she will try to get as much of the assets as possible and potentially leave you with nothing, or even worse – all of the debt.

With no justice and ability to make the narcissist stop behaving like a narcissist, your self-worth and confidence drains away. It seems that no one is coming to help – not your friends and family. Not the legal system and not the authorities. Rather, in most cases, they have been turned on you by the narcissist and there are others who the narcissist has been able to procure as minions to further assault you.

Now, this is where the compromise to your Inner Identity has taken place – your compromised beliefs about self, life and others.

Of course, your Inner Identity believes its “truths” about the horror story you are living. “I’m not safe.” “People are evil.”, “How am I going to survive this?”, “I’m being annihilated”, “I can never recover”, “I’ll never rebuild”, “The people I love destroy me”, “I can’t trust anyone.”… and the list goes on and on.

This is where the level of true damage and previously failed recoveries is taking place – because when our Inner Identity believes such things and has these beliefs glued into place with strong emotional energetic charges, then this is the driver of our life. It is the literal inner engine that is creating our life.

From this place within, the almighty power of the subconscious says, “That’s the program and that is what your Life is now.” This means what you feel, then think, then attract, then participate in is exactly that subconscious program. As long as those traumas are still stuck inside your Inner Being then life can and only ever will be “more of the same”.

That being the case, in the old way of trying to deal with narcissistic abuse, there is only the possibility of trying to find someone to take away your pain (which usually brings someone else to deliver even more pain) or numb yourself out with medication or addictions, or try to hide out as a hermit away from “life”, but this really means just locking down with the inner demons that are tearing you apart on the inside anyway.

I understand. I initially tried all three of these methods to try to get relief – but none of them worked – because significant unhealed Inner Identity trauma does not go away.

That was until I discovered the truth about how to heal from narcissistic abuse.


Healing The Subconscious Programs

You are your subconscious programs. What you believe at a deep level is your “beingness”. This is inside you, in your body, in the cells of your body. It’s NOT what you are trying to think in your head.

“New thinking” can work for us when we don’t have powerfully installed subconscious programs. The aspects of our life that we have strong emotional feelings connected with, when we think of them, are the topics of our life that we have the most impacted subconscious programs with. This means you are already programmed, that your life is on a trajectory that no amount of “thinking” or “doing” can get you free of.

Why? Because your thinking is following your body – your subconscious programming – we call this “obsession” or “stinking thinking” or “analysis paralysis”. It means, as hard as you try to “think free” you will keep defaulting back to thinking ABOUT the trauma. Your thinking can only be within the bandwidth of the trauma.

The same is exact for your “doing”. Your actions and decisions will also be impacted and fall within the range of the trauma. It’s impossible for us to do better, until we get better and getting better has to start on the inside.

Getting better happens by shifting your beingness out of the trauma. Then your thinking and doing will automatically follow.

Let’s look at the five symptoms of narcissistic abuse – in order – which can be healed.


Number One – Healing Emotional Symptoms

As a result of releasing internal trauma (what hurts the most right now), space and healing can enter. This means that things stop hurting. Your emotions start to be relieved of the painful emotional feelings in your body – the anxiety, depression, panic and other debilitating emotions such as resentment, despair, anger, heartbreak, shame and powerlessness. You literally have the ability to shift all of these painful emotions out with the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) and start to live free of them.

With the Quanta Freedom Healing shifts in NARP, what comes into your emotional self to replace where those traumas previously were, is good feelings of relief, like you are going to survive this, and organic feelings of “Life Force”, hope, inspiration and even joy. These occur even without any outer evidence to “give” you these. Rather you just start having them.

This then leads on to a flow-on effect to better thinking. Let’s examine this.




Number Two – Healing Mental Symptoms

Your brain follows your body. Once the emotions within you are released and are replaced with stable, solid, calm feelings of peace, then your mind settles down to reciprocate this shift.

Where you previously had terrible feelings of being victimised, devastated, betrayed (and the list is endless), and the matching thoughts, as the feelings evaporate so do the thoughts about this.

The “stinking thinking “melts away.

When you try to think about “what happened” (all the things that you previously obsessively couldn’t stop thinking about) it is like you are thinking about someone else – like it happened to someone else and there is no longer any emotional charge on it. It becomes really difficult to go into the story anymore because it just doesn’t matter – you would rather think about other things.

This is because your mind now has space and energy for new concepts, new ideas, “what’s next” after paralysis analysis and traumatised thinking.

Have you ever heard the expression, “Just let it go?” You can’t do this mentally no matter how hard you try to “decide” to do it! However, because you did let it go out of your body, this is why you are now free of feeling and thinking it – because that internal trauma just isn’t in your Inner Identity anymore.

It is no longer WHO you are.

Now let’s look at why and how you can physically start healing as well.


Number Three – Healing Physical Symptoms

Previously your emotional trauma was attacking all of your physical systems. Your nervous and immune systems were breaking down under the toxic load of terrible feelings and thinking. Also, when suffering extreme trauma we tend to choose substances and pastimes that are in the bandwidth of the trauma – toxic and unhealthy. Things like poor food and unhealthy addictions.

Health issues like fibromyalgia, adrenal malfunction, and all sorts of physical maladies occur as a result of internalised impactful trauma. In fact, I will go as far as to say, I personally believe all dis-ease has an emotional unhealed root to it.

Now that these traumas are being shifted out and are no longer regurgitating toxins with obsessional thinking, this means space, oxygen and nutrients can enter your cells. Healing can enter. Also, when we get better, we do better. It’s organic. We want to choose healthier food, pastimes and people in our lives. We seek health solutions and positive solutions start to come into focus.

Your physical body has an incredible ability to heal, when granted the right conditions.

I and many others healed conditions (which simply melted away) that we were told were unhealable. Things like chronic adrenal malfunctions and fatigues, psychotic breakdowns (literal brain damage), C-PTSD, fibromyalgia and many other nasty physical side effects of narcissistic abuse that are too many to mention.

Many people within our community were so physically sick with dis-ease they were bed bound and unable to physically operate. Many of these people who healed with NARP are now more physically happy and healthy than they have ever been in their entire life. This is true for myself as well.

I have seen, in this community people completely heal from illnesses they were told to make end of life plans for, as a result of releasing traumas in their body that were generating these conditions.

Now let’s look at the flow on, as to how spiritually you can heal.


Number Four ­– Healing Spiritual Symptoms

One of the most powerful aspects of healing from narcissistic abuse, is the understanding that this is a spiritual war. Narcissists are a False Self. False Gods. False Light. We cling to them because we believe that they are our “Source” and that we can’t exist without them.

The entire spiritual lesson for us is to let go of “false idols” and come home to ourselves and True Source – our own Higher Power which you may want to call “God” or “Source” or “Creation” (the Higher Power of your choice).

Then you can be “self-defined” rather than handing over your power to outside forces and be defined by them.

By releasing the traumas in our body regarding the narcissist, and what they have smashed within us, we release those parts that were holding a False Source responsible. This is all the pain, loss and fractures relating to another person not granting us (or destroying) what we can generate (as adults) for ourselves through our own True Soul / Source power and authenticity.

As children we were powerless and co-dependent. As adults we can heal and grow ourselves up, from the inside, beyond continuing to hand our power, truths and values away to abusers.

This is the spiritual hero’s and heroine’s True Journey that narcissists bring us to our knees to face, like no other.

By committing to healing ourselves to escape the hell of narcissists and return to our true intended state, then we come “home”. We feel whole. We know True Love and acceptance. No longer are we anxiously trying to get our salvation from False Sources outside of ourselves. Through this spiritual wholeness we can connect to our own deservedness and truths and make much more conscious and healthy choices in our lives.

Now let’s look at the flow in our everyday practical lives.


Number Five ­– Healing Financial Symptoms

Through my own Thriver Recover, and a return to True Source, as well as viewing the progress of thousands of others globally, this I know – consistent real-life compensation occurs to those who understand “True Value”, which is the value of our Soul.

So many of us held on to narcissists for the wrong reasons. This was the co-dependency of, “I need you to get this (whatever it is we weren’t creating / generating ourselves) for me.” We put bricks and mortar and finances above the valuing of our Inner Beings – our Souls.

Thriver recovery is about putting our Soul first, aligning with that and working on our true relationship with True Source. It is the embodiment of, “You are NOT my Source. True Source is!”

And … the healing of my Soul and coming home to True Source is my goal. Much MORE than what feeds my personality (stuff I hope to get from you).

The people who I know who made this their highest priority – inner peace, freedom and coming home to a love and acceptance of self and Source (without “stuff”) were then able to start generating incredible prosperity in their life.

Not because they NEEDED it to get inner peace, happiness and wholeness. Rather, because they were already BEING inner peace, wholeness and happiness, and were then able to expand into more creativity, purpose, joy, energy and power than ever before.

This time it was authentic.

I personally know so many people (myself included) who lost everything to narcissistic abuse, made peace with the losses, accepting the gift of the spiritual lesson, came home to their own Souls and Source, then re-kickstarted with more abundance, joy and success than they ever believed was possible for them.

Here is the absolute truth – if it hadn’t been for narcissistic abuse and Thriver Recovery such prosperity would not have been possible for them – because up until this time they were trying to survive and create wealth from a place of lack and fear. It had never been as a result of their Source / Soul partnership.


In Conclusion

Wow – this was in depth! Hopefully all of this information has not confused you, and instead has helped you understand that healing is a flow-on organic process when you start to get well.

Getting well means getting that trauma out of your body. And replacing it with Life Force. Some call this Letting Go and Letting God.

Or … moving from Darkness to Light.

Or … moving from Fear to Love.

I like to call it exiting Wrong Town and steering towards Right Town!

After discovering this way to heal, over a decade ago, I have no idea how it could be possible any other way, and I no longer even try to.

I’d love to show you how to live this life too with NARP and my incredible global NARP Community who help hold you and help you every step of the way.

For more details about NARP and my Quanta Freedom Healing methods please check out my free 2-part Masterclass.

Does this article give you hope? If you are already working with NARP, have you started to see shifts in your emotional, mental, physical, spiritually and financial health? Has this been a good check-in for you to see where you are at with your healing?

I’d love to hear from you below.


Redefining Your Dreams And Goals After Narcissistic Abuse


This episode is about helping you get in contact with your True Self and True Life, which means being able to access and activate the loving, healthy and successful life that is your birthright to live.

I know, after narcissistic abuse, you may believe that a great life just isn’t possible for you.

However, I know the exact opposite, that because you have been narcissistically abused, your True Life is even more possible for you than it ever was.

And I can’t wait to explain to you WHY in today’s video.



Video Transcript

Okay, I just want to start off by saying thank you so much if you filled in the New Life survey a couple of weeks ago! Myself and the MTE team are so grateful for the responses. We had over 4000 entries!

And now … the lucky winners of the 5 free MTE healing programs are …… (drum roll) …… Christine, Sam, Cindy, Joann and Donna.

Congratulations! You will receive an email with your instructions on how to claim your free healing program. Please know that we are not releasing last names to protect privacy, so if you have the same name as one of the winners but did not receive a prize, this is why.

We run competitions quite regularly for our New Life Newsletter subscribers. If you aren’t a member, what are you waiting for? Subscribe by clicking this link  (you also receive a free 16 day recovery course!).

Okay so now … I am so excited to be sharing today’s TTV episode with you.

Because I enjoy nothing more than creating my own personal dreams after narcissistic abuse and helping thousands of other people, globally, to do the same.

People just like you … no matter how much you’ve been hurt or what you’ve lost, there is an amazing life awaiting you, if you know how to activate it.

And, because today’s episode is all about that, I just want to let you know that my Super-Thrive three-day workshop in Melbourne is coming up real soon on the 23rd to the 25th of March.

My promise to you is, if you come to this workshop, you will experience unprecedented breakthroughs into areas of your life, that you deeply desire the most – namely love, health and wealth.

You can find out more about this exclusive event by clicking this link. 

Okay … now let’s move onto this episode.


The People Who Stand to Gain the Most

This is what I believe with all my heart – the people who have lost everything are in the best position to gain the most.

You may think I’m crazy but listen up.

What we were living, wasn’t our True Soul’s destiny. We thought it was, but it wasn’t. When connected to a False Self trying to source our life through them, everything was breaking down. Our health, our finances and ultimately our entire being.

All of this was screaming at us “Wrong Town!”

This is what I discovered, for myself and countless other people, just like you, who have lost everything – when we learnt to value our Soul and our Inner Being above all else, all losses started to reverse.

When we turn inwards to self-partner, and purposefully and lovingly release and reprogram our inner traumas (which is exactly what NARP allows you to powerfully do) then an astounding phenomenon takes place.

All of Source, Life and Creation start to partner us also, with mega-gusto.

Rather than the uphill battle of constantly trying to make life work from the outside (trying to obtain and retain people and situations in order to allow us to feel loved, approved of, safe and secure), we have finally got into the true driver seat of Creation.

We have realised the only way to create a life successfully is from the inside out.

It has to be between us and ourselves.

And even more than this, this IS the essential relationship between us and our Higher Power (Source).

When we have healed ourselves, we realise wholeness as just an ‘isness’. It’s our natural, organic state without the traumas and false beliefs that we have all been inflicted with. And, we return home.

From this place, we begin directly sourcing with Life itself.

No longer are we handing away our power to the people and situations that are not aligned with our True Self and True Life.

No longer do we choose, roll around with and get mined by abusers.

It’s not until we take on the journey of self-partnering, that we realise what a false journey (albeit unconsciously) we were on, and how it was never going to work out durably or deliver the only life that was ever going to gratify us.

As a result of healing and feeling whole on the inside, regardless of where your life is or what anybody else is or isn’t doing, then your life … your True Life, begins.

Powerfully, in ways that will nourish and flourish you beyond your wildest dreams!


What Are Your Dreams and Goals?

People say all the time, “I don’t know what my dreams and goals are”. Or maybe they do know, but don’t know how on earth they could ever activate them.

And, maybe they have been used to living a life where they have been trying to provide other people with their dreams and goals instead, in order to feel loved and safe.

When you start a deep inner healing, a realisation takes hold – that you are here for a purpose, that is aligned with your Soul Truth. And this is what you deeply want to do!

You also start to deeply sense that your aligning with your true soul purpose in no way means that you need to go without. It is, in fact, the exact opposite.

All that you ever wished for including love, health and wealth come naturally when you are no longer on the wrong path. When you honour your Soul and Source, Source and your Soul fully respond. This Force unlocks for you all that your heart desires.

That has been my experience and the experience of more Thrivers that I could mention.

What you want as your dreams is what your heart is telling you. Your goals and dreams are personal, and in no way are they selfish. They involve your greatest contribution to the world.

When you are fully being yourself, you will serve The All in the highest of ways.

None of this is possible if you continue handing away your power trying to be what other people want you to be in an attempt to get love, approval or safety. You need to self-partner and become your own powerful source.


How to Connect to Your Truth

I really want you to understand this … your life is not about other people loving you more.

It is about you loving you more.

Your life is not about getting approval.

It’s about you approving of yourself.

Your life is not about doing something so that you can make money.

It’s about being the person you were born to be and then being abundantly supported by all of life as a result of this.

Yes, you can have love, health and wealth whilst being of incredible service to this planet.

You can have it all!

After narcissistic abuse and losing it all, you TRULY stand to gain it all.

You can activate this by turning inwards and healing yourself, in order to integrate with your infinite power and the wisdom of your Inner Being.

Your greatest mission is to be self-partnered. To let go of the shame and blame of yourself and others. To lose all of the painful feelings that have been standing between you and the entering of your incredible extended, expanded life.

You are here to make a difference, and to be the new wave of self-partnered, self-generative Oneness, that changes everything for you personally and everything you touch in this world.

How do you activate this?

How do you stand in your truth to start redefining your dreams and goals?

My highest suggestion is to listen to the truth of your heart and soul.

List what you want and don’t hold back.

Your soul doesn’t get it wrong.

If you are feeling it then it is true for you.

Your personal destiny that awaits you, is seeking you as much as you are seeking it.

What is blocking this destiny from touching you, inspiring you and calling you into it?

Nothing, other than your fears, limited traumatic programming and beliefs that allow you to talk yourself out of it, be fearful and not go for the ride.

That is completely normal, even though it is horrifically unnatural. You were programmed with the traumas of limitations by other people with their own internal trauma that disconnected them from their dreams and goals.

The great news is, there is a TOTAL way for you to clear those blocks within you so that your true destiny comes into view.


Sign Up, Clear Out and Show Up

I will be showing people in intense detail in my three-day Super-Thrive workshop how to work through these processes, but I’ll share with you what I did to make my incredible destiny happen so that you can too.

Step 1: Sign Up

I had the sense that I needed to do this years ago, so I did.

I declared to Source, All of Life and my Superconscious the following …

“I sign up. I hand myself over to you to be the vessel for my highest and best potential to enter me as me. I will be a conduit for my most powerful and expanded contribution on this planet, and to be the person, the ONLY person, that will completely gratify me.”

I knew I meant it, even though I had NO idea what this would make happen!

This led to the necessity for me to …

Step 2: Clear Out

Then what happened, was all the fears and limitations that I already had within me, were thrust up to the surface.

Things like, “I’m too old and I don’t have the qualifications to be super successful.”

“I know that I should be able to be flourished and nourished with love. But love has never worked out for me before.”

“How on earth am I going to get the support to be able to do this mission? Or be accepted for my ideas?  It’s never happened before!”

This I knew … there was no WAY I was going to be able to walk through the door into my Super-Thriving magnificence, with this JUNK stuck in my suitcase.

I had to unpack diligently, all those fears, confusions, doubts and limitations trapped in my Inner Being.

So, I committed FULLY to doing that …

When I did this because I’d already made the declaration for my Superconscious Self to enter me, it did … on steroids.

Which then led to step number three.

Step 3: Show Up

The most amazing things were now happening.

Where fear, inertia, and lack of courage had been, I was filling up with inspiration, impulses and feelings and thoughts that I had never experienced before.

Excitement and tangible ‘possibility’ arose within me, relating to EVERY area of my life.

And, as I looked around me, I was blown away by the synchronicity, opportunities and the literal miracles of people, situations and events rushing towards me that completely represented my highest expressions of Love, Health and Wealth.

This had NEVER happened before.

I knew what I had to do.

I had to SHOW up!

I had to be available, open and empowered ENOUGH to explore and actualise these incredible opportunities!

To be able to do that … to have the courage, boundaries, and energy to be able to participate fully with the super-boost that Creation Itself was granting me, I had to learn how to ride on top of an incredible wave.

Rather, than falling off and sinking.

To do that it was really important to keep going back to Step 2 – clearing out any fears, blocks, limitations or confusion that arose.

Of course, at times these new opportunities quite frankly terrified me, yet this was exactly where I needed to show up, exploring and working with these new expanded potentials.

I had to bust out of all of my previous comfort zones in order to capitalise on these opportunities.

And the same is 100% true for you.

This is where the inner Quantum Tools are so powerful, because they bypass your logical brain, and get deep within you to release all of your limiting blocks and activate your power.

If you know that this is the level that you want to get to, I can’t recommend enough checking out my Quanta Freedom Healing programs by clicking this link. 

And, if you want to get up close and personal with me for three days, where I will give it my all, including performing Quanta Freedom healing shifts, to move you into your most amazing True Life, then check out this link.

Come Super-Thrive with me!

And as always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.



How To Get In Touch With Your Inner Being

How To Get In Touch With Your Inner Being


I know deep inside how important it is for you to get in touch with your Inner Being!

Because if you don’t, it means that your life will be controlled by other people and situations, rather than by what is true for you.

How do you get in touch with your Inner Being? How can you self-partner in a way where you are able to meet and be with your Inner Being in a healthy way?

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I take you on this journey of how to integrate and connect back with yourself, in ways where you will be able to create your True Self and True Life.



Video Transcript

I hope by now you understand just how important it is to get in touch with your Inner Being.

Because if you are not, you will be pulled out of your centre by people and situations, and start living their life, rather than your own.

Your Inner Being is your guide and truth.

So how do you get in touch with your Inner Being?

I’m going to explain to you exactly how you do that in today’s video.

But before I do, thank you everyone who has subscribed to my channel for supporting the Thriver mission, and realising and sharing that we can heal for real from abuse now.

And, if you like this video, please like and share it with others who you know it can help.

Right, on with today’s episode!

How it’s Normal to Not Be in Touch With Your Inner Being

It is frighteningly normal not to be in touch with your Inner Being. But in no way is this natural.

I completely and utterly believe that our essential nature is to be at one with ourselves, and then have the capacity to be at one with others and all of life.

So how did we get disconnected from ourselves?

It happened as a result of trauma. Because of taking on the impregnated beliefs that we are defective and damaged, and that we are not loved as we are and that we have to earn our way to love and acceptance.

And of course, there have been incredible atrocities in the collective human history that have created intense anxiety, fear and depression.

Because of this, it can be terrifying to go inside. Who would want to settle into an inner landscape that resembles a war zone?

Naturally, this created us as beings trying to find salvation outside of ourselves. Yet no matter how many possessions we accumulate, or beauty treatments that we may have, or people who we may have intimate and sexual relationships with, the same problem remains.

“I don’t feel at one with myself.”

“I can’t be with myself in times of need and self soothe and bring myself to wholeness.“

Which of course means, … “I have to try to keep medicating with something outside of myself to try to feel sane and okay.”

Can you see the terrible trap that most of humanity has been stuck in throughout the centuries?

The Mistake Most People Make

I feel really compelled to talk about this because this is exactly what I used to do too.

Because we have been indoctrinated into systems that attempt to manage symptoms, rather than healing ourselves deeply at our core, it’s no wonder that we have tried to get in touch with our Inner Being (if we were courageous enough) in a really painful way – whilst we are battling our trauma and its unregulated emotions and thoughts.

This is like trying to sail a ship that has holes in its hull and continually having to bail it out, rather than being able to just healthily sail forward.

I used to be addicted to self-development, meaning that every morning I would meditate, say affirmations, chant, do journaling and yoga – all sorts of things to try to be at one with my Inner Being.

Absolutely these things helped, but the problem was I continually needed to do these things. If I didn’t then the anxiety, fears and depression would all come back.

It was exhausting!

What I was really doing was attempting to manage my Inner Being.

I wasn’t healing it.

When I finally did heal it for real with Quanta Freedom Healing (NARP), no longer did I have to do hours of self-managing. Eventually there was simply less and less trauma existing inside of me to try to manage.

I have seen the same happen for other people, even those who once declared, just as I did, “What? More inner work? I have been doing self-development for decades and I’m still not healed!”

I promise you that when you finally do free your Inner Being from trauma, you will come home to being able to be with your Inner Being without effort. It will feel peaceful and normal for you to be there.

How to REALLY Come Back Home to Your Inner Being

There is only one way to achieve this – by directing your attention inside your body and working and dealing directly with your emotions.

Not in a way that you judge yourself.

Not in a way that you get taken out by your emotions and spiral into even greater fear, anxiety and depression.

But, in a way where you can be your own saviour. Meaning be the person in your life (and you are the only person who can be) who will rescue you from these impregnated traumas and beliefs that are not Who You Are.

I want you to imagine this. If you had a home that was filled with parasites or vermin that were destroying it, would you face this? Of course, you would do all that you can to have your house cleansed and released from these invaders.

I promise you that your Inner Being is no different. If you have accumulated trauma from your family DNA history, your childhood, and the repeat patterns and traumas that have continued to show up in your life as an adult, then you may have reached toxic overload.

This is when life is getting worse not better.

This is when you are dissolving rather than evolving.

This is why you are disintegrating, rather than integrating back home to yourself.

There is only one solution for this. Clean up the toxic overload.

I promise you with all my heart that my previous levels of toxic trauma within my Inner Being, that caused my emotions and thoughts to be broken and irreparable, meant that unless I had got rid of my toxic overload, I would never have recovered.

That’s exactly what (thank goodness) I learned how to do.

Once I had released myself from this inner toxicity, I discovered I could reside with my Inner Being as my best friend, lover, healer, confidant and supporter. It became easy and healthy for me to hang out inside myself.

So, I cannot recommend enough, stop trying to come back home to yourself when your inner landscape is uninhabitable.

What is really necessary is to face and meet the inner parts of you that are traumatised to release them and reprogram them.

Then, the constant battle is over!

Yes, of course, this is challenging and even terrifying. But what choice do we have, if we truly want to go free into peace, happiness and success? These things can only be generated from within.

If you are really ready, and know that you need to come home to your Inner Being, I want you to pause this video and write below, “Inner Being – (use an endearing term such as sweetheart or darling) I am COMING to you!!”

So, I hope that this has helped. Profoundly.

I know that I’ve been explaining this to you, in so many different ways. Maybe this is the episode that really clicks into place for you.

If you are ready to take this journey with me, back home to yourself and your Inner Being, I’d love you to join me by clicking this link. 

I can’t wait to help you achieve this!

And as always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.



Cognitive Dissonance – How Narcissistic Trauma Bonding Creates It

Cognitive Dissonance – How Narcissistic Trauma Bonding Creates It


You may or may not know what Cognitive Dissonance really is.

It is the confusion of having justifications for staying bonded to somebody who is hurting us.

In other words, emotionally it is feeling horrific to stay, yet you find that you are under the spell of the narcissist no matter how badly he or she is treating you.

Many people don’t understand the real truth about why Cognitive Dissonance takes place, or the real reasons for it.

That’s what today’s Thriver TV episode is all about, explaining to you exactly why you are stuck in Cognitive Dissonance, and how to break free from it forever.



Video Transcript

Trauma bonding is a narcissistic abuse phenomenon. It makes it incredibly difficult to break away from somebody who is hurting us.

Logically this doesn’t make sense. Why would we stay with somebody who is really bad for us and who is ripping our life and soul apart?

How have we been able to reconcile and justify what is happening to us, in order to stay?

The reason that we do this is because we are suffering from Cognitive Dissonance.

And today I can explain to you what that REALLY means in this Thriver TV episode.

But before we get into the truth about why we stay attached, I’d like to thank each and every one of you for subscribing to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission.

And, if you agree with my philosophies, and haven’t yet subscribed, I’d love you to please do so, and please also pass my videos on to those in need.

Okay, so now let’s do a deep dive into what Cognitive Dissonance really is.


What is Cognitive Dissonance?

Cognitive Dissonance means we are experiencing two opposing ideas that are creating confusion.

A simple example of this would be the thoughts of, “I want to stay home and relax, but I’d really like to meet up with friends tonight”.

In the case of narcissistic abuse, an example of Cognitive Dissonant thoughts could go like this, “He/she is so abusive. I need to leave to save myself” with “He/she is only behaving like this because of a horrible childhood. I should stay and fix this”.

The Cognitive Dissonance creates the excuses for not pulling away and taking care of ourselves.

Other forms of Cognitive Dissonance can be “reasons” such as, “I know this relationship is meant to be, and I am going to stay and see it through” or worse still, “He really is a great guy, it’s me with all the problems, and I know I make him act like this” or “If I love him enough, I know I can heal him” or “I’m the only person that truly understands her. I can’t leave her, it’s my duty to stay and love her with everything I have”.

We decide to make our choices aligned with these reasons, even though our Inner Being is screaming “Wrong Town! I am breaking down!”

Why do we do this?

Why do we go with a version of truth in our head rather than listen to our emotions which are the Soul Truth of our entire life?

Because we are trauma bonded.

What does that mean?

Let’s investigate.


The Real Truth About Trauma Bonding

I have written a great deal about trauma bonding in the past, and there are so many ways that the narcissist behaves, which trigger us into our unhealed histories and insecurities and hook us into trying to resolve them with the person who is hurting us.

You can read more about trauma bonding here (Trauma Bonding – Is It Love Or Something Else).

Yet, when we get deeply underneath all of this, we understand the bottom line of what is really going on. It’s to do with our subconscious belief systems in relation to any topic in our life. These are the driving force of our life that hooks us up with the people, situations and events that exactly match those beliefs.

If our Inner Identity holds the belief, as a result of a traumatic past, generational wounds or painful and devastating childhoods and future adult relationships, of “Love hurts” or “The people who love me leave me/replace me/invalidate me/annihilate me” (and the list goes on and on) then this is what we continue to experience in our life.

Narcissists are famous for delivering this.

And of course, understandably, we have also formed the Inner Identity beliefs of, “I am not worth loving”, “There must be something wrong with me”, “I am incapable of getting love or my life right”. So naturally, we continue going through this over and over again.

Neuroscientists now know that our subconscious controls 40 billion bits of information per second throughout our entire systems, whereas our logical mind only controls 40 bits per second.

What do you think is pulling the strings of your life? Your almighty subconscious or your conscious thoughts?

Okay, so at this point, you may be wondering what all of this has to do with trauma bonding and Cognitive Dissonance?

Well, everything!

Your mind will come up with all the excuses and justifications to create the validity of the traumatic program.

The brain, with its limited power, defaults to agree with the powerhouse of the already existing subconscious programs.

As revolutionary neuroscientist, Dr. Joe Dispenza says, “The brain follows the body always”.


How Do You Escape Trauma Bonding and Cognitive Dissonance?

I will share with you how I achieved this.

I completely embraced that the Inner Belief systems I had in relation to love and relationships were filled with pain. All of my life I had felt unloved, unlovable and unworthy of love.

And of course, I’d been attempting to cover this up. I’d been trying to be worthy of love with all my might, by trying to be what I needed to be for others to love me.

Additionally, I realised that I had been making the excuses and justifications to stay with people who hurt me, and I tried to change and fix them, rather than let go and heal myself.

To rectify this, once and for all, I knew my life going forward had to be an inside job.

It was all between me and me. Focusing on anybody else was not going to give me my emancipation from this.

Most people, before understanding the deeper truths, when attempting to heal from Cognitive Dissonance try to address the problem at a level that it doesn’t exist.

They try to do it logically. The problem exists in the subconscious, not in the cognitive mind.

The issue is not the thoughts that are the “reasons” you are staying attached. These thoughts are a symptom of what is going on in the subconscious programs. Unless the subconscious programs are addressed, the thoughts will keep coming back, because the brain is following the body.

It doesn’t matter how much we talk, research and even get cognitive therapy, we may be able to hold healthier decisions for a short amount of time, yet the powerhouse of the 40 billion bits per second will have its way.

A deep shift has to happen on the inside of you, within your Inner Identity, and then your brain will follow.

Are you having the epiphany yet about why you are coming up with reasons and justifications for staying attached, or breaking no contact, or trying to go in and get accountability even though you know you can’t? Despite knowing how much extra pain it brings every time you do it?

Is it becoming clear to you what is really going on deep within you beneath the level of your conscious understanding?

If you really do get it now, I want you to stop this video and write below, “Bingo! I get it!”

That’s essential if you are going to break free from this.

You can’t know the following that I’m about to share with you, until you get to the other side of this, but I promise you it is true.

Organically, without these traumas, you are a whole, self-generative, self-honouring person who would no sooner be connected to painful and traumatic love, than a health-conscious person would eat a greasy hamburger.

I hope that this has truly helped.

Okay, so if you have had enough of the pain, and you know it’s your time to become healthy on the inside, then that’s precisely the healing work I provide.

All you need to do to get started is click this link. 

And, if you enjoyed this video please give it a like, and share with people who you know are stuck in justifications that are keeping them bonded with people who are hurting them.

And, as always, I am so looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.



Your Biggest Breakdowns Are Your Biggest Lessons

Your Biggest Breakdowns Are Your Biggest Lessons

Believing there are ‘lessons’ to be learned from narcissistic abuse can appear to be controversial and unlikely for some people.

I used to be horrified about believing that there was ANY lesson for me in my times of terrible breakdowns.

However, when I discovered and decided to fully embrace my lesson I was able to mine the gold out of the deepest darkest time of my life.

It is my greatest wish that the information in this video can start to do the same for you too.



Video Transcript

Today’s Thriver TV episode is a truth bomb that I know can really help you.

It’s about understanding that your biggest breakdowns are in fact your biggest lessons. And I know that you may be opposed to the word “lessons” in this context.

But lessons learned are so worth it. They deliver us to a truly loving and prosperous life.

And that’s exactly what today’s TTV episode is all about.

But before we get started on this, thank you if you have subscribed to my channel. And if you haven’t yet, then please do, to become involved in supporting the Thriver Mission.

Alright, so let’s get going on today’s lesson about why our breakdowns are such incredibly valuable lessons.


The True Questions

When we don’t understand the lesson (a.k.a. the gift of the experience that we’re going through) we are stuck in questions of, “How can somebody do this?” and “How can somebody be so terrible?” But I really want you to know any question which is about “them” and is looking “out there” is not going to grant you salvation, healing or your breakthrough.

I have shared Pema Chodron’s famous quote so many times, “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know”.

Narcissistic abuse is the total experience of being in the bowels of hell, rolling around with our greatest fears and traumas feeling completely powerless and paralysed. Usually, when we try to fight back and get out of it, we find that it doesn’t work.

The narcissist escalates their behaviour. We are shocked to discover that authorities and even family and friends can’t and don’t help us. In fact, it seems like everywhere we turn the narcissist is defeating us.

Our souls and lives are being ripped to shreds.

Yet, if you start to embrace the wisdom of Pema Chodron, you will enter a dimension of a higher truth – that at a Soul level this was meant to be.

And a release from this situation will only come for you when you have learned the lesson.

How do we know what the lesson is?

The lesson can only be revealed as a result of self-partnering.

When you take your focus off the narcissist and turn inwards and self-enquire with a question such as this, “What feelings are triggering me now that represent the parts of myself that I haven’t yet healed?”

Another way to term this question is, “What trauma is this person bringing up for me, that I have previously experienced in my life?”

This question is also powerful … “As an adult I can be responsible for my own Soul and Life. Therefore, why am I still handing away my power to others so that they may grant me love, approval, security and safety?”

I know it’s really scary to look at this stuff.

At first, when I was deeply victimised, I was horrified by any questions like these, because there was no way I wanted to think I needed healing because clearly, he was the one who was completely disordered.

But what I learned, on my life-and-near death journey, was that trying to force him to be accountable or obtain justice for what he had done to me, wasn’t happening, and my efforts weren’t healing me or granting me a fabulous life.

They just kept me so stuck in the trauma that it was nearly killing me.

And I was to discover that this was EXACTLY how it was meant to be.

It was only when I let go of trying to do all of that and turned inwards to self-partner that I connected with the only power in the situation – knowing the only person I could heal and change was me.

Once orientated in this essential partnering with self, I started to come out of complete desecration and move towards profound healing. Even more incredibly than I ever believed was possible.


Because I was embracing the lesson in my breakdown.

Which was … this is happening FOR me and not TO me, to help me understand the parts of myself that I deeply need to self-partner with and heal.


Your Breakdown is Your Signal

In a world of fear and judgement, we have been conditioned to traumatise ourselves even more during the traumatic times of our breakdowns.

Rather than embracing them, to hear what they have to teach us, we try to do everything to self-avoid our painful feelings, leading to our own precarious self-abandonment.

I love these analogies which I have shared often – if you had a car and its engine was grinding you wouldn’t just keep driving it and pretend it’s not happening. Doing so would be at the peril of your motor dying.

If you had a roof that was leaking you wouldn’t ignore it, because your whole roof could cave in and destroy all of your home and belongings.

Yet, when we start to feel painful emotions and go through difficult and tumultuous experiences with others, we don’t go to the root of the problem.

Let’s go back to the car. Depending on the problem, something in the engine may need adjusting, or even replacing.

In regards to the roof, it may need some serious reinforcement so that it can have integrity again.

Identically, when we receive the signals of our painful emotions, we may have inner beliefs that require adjusting or even replacing, so that we don’t continue being enmeshed with people who hurt us.

And, it may be time to get very clear about our rights, values and limits and lay powerful boundaries which say, “No more!”

Yet, our human conditioning has been about missing the lesson. It’s been about wrestling with people and trying to change and fix them and force them into being the people who will make us feel safe, loved and happy.

By looking out at the narcissist and learning all about him or her, and not doing anything about addressing the lesson you are meant to learn for yourself, your own evolution and consequent relief is impossible.

What is the Lesson?

This is the lesson that myself and so many other Thrivers have embraced; to ultimately have a direct path through to our emancipation, liberation and freedom from abuse as well as all of the horrible symptoms that go with it, mentally, emotionally, directly and financially.

“This actually isn’t about you. You were only a catalyst. It’s about me. It’s about me becoming a self-generative force whereby I can now finally self-partner, release and heal myself. By releasing the trauma of you and my previous experiences, as well as the false beliefs that have been impregnated within me regarding myself, life and others, I will become a whole person regardless of what anybody else is or isn’t doing. Then I will no longer choose or remain with people in my life who don’t add to my self-generative wholeness. I will let them go and allow them to live life according to their own beliefs and truth. And I will be free to choose and participate with the people and situations who will add to my already established wholeness.”

That’s the entire lesson of narcissistic abuse.


How Bad Does it Have to Get?

Our soul has one grand purpose. To evolve us. To bring us home to Love and Truth. Which means releasing us from the trauma that is the human condition so that we can claim our True Self and True Life.

When you become Who You Really Are (living your life with reduced trauma) you naturally know how to generate your life in a way that works.

Our Soul and Life, acting in concert are always ingeniously generating the validity of our present existing beliefs, and supplying us with the evidence of those as per our emotions and real life events.

In essence, as Buddha famously said, “If you want to know what is going on in your inner world, look at your outer world”.

When you self-partner and go inwards to do the deep Quantum reprogramming of your Inner Being, you will start to understand that it is the painful and funky feelings on any topic in your life that are letting you know that your inner programming isn’t aligned with what you really want.

It means that you have sustained traumas that are still wedged within you, on these topics.

If we have taken on or experienced trauma in our past lives, generational histories, childhoods and as adults (they are in repeat if unhealed) then we will have absorbed the emotional beliefs of, “love equals pain”, “the people who love me hurt me”, “I am not good enough to be loved” and so much more.

These emotional beliefs generate the validity of themselves to the letter. We will choose and be chosen by the people and situations that represent them.

And this hurts, profoundly. We are ripping these traumas open over and over again and adding to them. They become increasingly compounded and toxic until we reach our breakdown.

Which is exactly what narcissistic abuse is – the highest lesson to let us know that it’s time to heal.

For myself personally, I didn’t turn inwards and start self-partnering until I nearly died. I was left with only the last bit of my Life Force. That’s how bad it got for me. It’s my greatest desire and mission to help other people turn inwards to heal before it gets to that point.

Because it’s not easy to come back from that.


How to Apply the Lesson

The first step is to accept that this is happening “for” you and not “to” you. This is the opportunity to let go of the false person and false life that you have been living with him or her.

Your subconscious is a powerful generator that organises the trillions of chemical and electrical processes in your body that keep you healthy and alive. These are things that your logical brain can’t comprehend let alone execute.

It’s important to understand that this almighty powerhouse is directing your life, beneath the conscious surface of what you know as your reality. Your connections, attractions, interactions, and manifestations are a direct hit of your inner belief systems, on any given topic.

There truly is nothing else to do, if you want to heal for real, other than face and release every inner part of you that is inflicted with the beliefs that match the trauma this person is bringing to your life.

The absolute truth is this – the narcissist is the living evidence of your already existing internal traumas.

I want you to know that being impregnated with trauma is not your fault.

It’s an unfortunate, sad and brutal part of the human experience. Our ancestors carried an enormous amount of trauma. We were brought up by people who were still holding onto their own unresolved trauma. As children, we had no resources to be able to release ourselves from trauma, let alone extricate ourselves from the people who delivered it to us.

But as adults, we can take power back. We can accept the lesson. We can make good of it.

We can fight the good fight.

We can emerge victorious from these old breakdowns, by taking the lesson and turning it into the grandest newest breakthrough that we’ve ever experienced.

And we can lead the way for others and our future generations to do so as well.

The following is the glory of this lesson – one person at a time, we can heal, and change humanity in our world.

And, now, as a result of Quantum Tools, it is totally possible for us to do so. No longer does healing from narcissistic abuse have to take years or decades. We have a straight-line path to be able to achieve it now.

If this episode deeply resonates with you, I can put you in direct contact with how to actualise your breakthrough today.

You can do this by clicking this link.

So, to sign off, I hope that this truth today, as hard as it is, has helped truly set you free.

And as always I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.



How Do Narcissists Treat Their New Supply?

How Do Narcissists Treat Their New Supply?



When a narcissist replaces you, it may be so excruciatingly painful that you feel like you’re going to die.

You may wonder, “Are they in love?”

And, “Is it possible for them to have a successful relationship together?”

This Thriver TV episode will grant you some much-needed relief, truth, and perspective about all of this as you discover the real truth of how a narcissist will treat the new supply.




Video Transcript

It is so painful, initially, to be replaced.

Excruciatingly painful!

It may even be so painful that you feel like you are dying. I promise you I understand, I’ve been there!

And, of course, you may be agonising wondering how the narcissist is treating the new Supply. Are they happy as a couple? Is there a possibility that this relationship can really work?

I’m going to answer these questions and many more in today’s Thriver TV episode.

But before I do, I’d like to thank you if you have subscribed to my channel for supporting the Thriver Mission. If you haven’t yet subscribed, please do. And if you enjoy this video please remember to click the like button.

Alright, let’s dive into today’s episode.


The Honeymoon Period

Narcissists love bomb.

In the pursuit of narcissistic supply, narcissists are over the top. They get off on exclamations of desire, piling on the compliments, and incredible gestures of care and gifts.

From the outside, it can appear to be about “love” or even “infatuation”. Infatuation is definitely a lot closer to the mark than love, yet the reason why narcissists go after new Supply so convincingly is not at all romantic.

It’s purely about securing an object to self-medicate with.

I know that this can be a bitter pill to swallow, yet it’s very helpful to understand the truth of what our relationship with the narcissist was, to not have any envy about their future relationship(s).

It’s not personal – the way that narcissists objectify people as a source of supply. It’s not because these people are unlovable, rather it is because the narcissist is not capable of genuine love.

Genuine love is not about securing people as a supply source to be used. Genuine love, from one healthy adult to another, is about sharing power and love and granting care, affection and love without an agenda.

As beautiful and attentive and caring as the narcissist appears to be, there is a deep, dark agenda attached, which is, “you are being groomed so that I can secure you in order to prop up my False Self and help me survive my inner gnawing emptiness. You mean no more than this.”

Yes, things can look incredible between a new loved-up narcissistic couple on social media, and even from what you hear via other people. And the narcissist may cruelly tell you how in love they are with this new person.

But it will only be for a certain period of time.

Many people like to keep up pretences. Certainly, narcissists live within fictitious scripts, and even partners of narcissists are usually in denial of how things have switched and become so awful. They were so convinced and convincing of others that this person was their “soul-mate” that it becomes hugely shameful to admit that this is not the case.

Before you go through your Thriver Healing journey, you may stalk the two of them on social media, or ask other people about them, trying to find out if their relationship is working or if the cracks have appeared.

I want you to know from the bottom of my heart the following: there is no salvation or healing in this pursuit.

It is complete and utter Wrong Town, that will keep you stuck in the trauma and won’t allow you to be released from it.

The irony is, no physical or logical evidence is going to give you relief from this. The only relief that comes is from your healing within yourself, to find, release and reprogram the original wounds within you that have been keeping you trauma bonded to the narcissist.

It’s also really important to find and release and reprogram the extreme trauma that goes with being replaced.

One day, this is exactly the path the new Supply will need to take for his or her own healing. Because this person is extremely likely to be discarded and replaced just as you were.

It’s quite incredible, how in this community, there have been Thrivers narcissistically abused by the same narcissist, who are now wonderful friends within the community healing with NARP!


The Fall From Grace

This is how it goes with all narcissists and their new partners – the initial honeymoon period of love bombing idealisation starts to crack.

You see, at the beginning, the narcissist childishly declares that this person is the “best thing since sliced bread”. He or she to the narcissist is the shiniest, most incredible new Supply. This feeds the narcissist’s ego monstrously, granting them a massive hit of narcissistic supply.

But this is not based in reality. Sooner or later this person is not going to fulfil the narcissist’s insecure ego continually. When the high levels of initial narcissistic supply start to decrease, the narcissist will start feeling the familiar feelings of inner anxiety and rage again.

Narcissists always project these self-annihilating inner feelings onto somebody else and make them that person’s fault. Intimate love partners are common targets. They are also easy targets when the narcissist has secured this person as narcissistic supply. We hang around for the abuse.

So, just as it happened to you, the new partner is going to start becoming terribly confused and shocked when this previously “perfect” and “adorable” person starts to get sullen, moody and even inappropriate with their behaviour and comments.

This is the beginning of the devaluing cycle. And, as soon as the new partner starts to question it, not bow to it, and no longer grants the compliments, admiration, sex or adoration that they previously were supplying, the “iffy” comments will escalate to becoming more severe and devastating, and even lead into the discard phase.

The narcissist may say that he or she is having second thoughts. Or withdraw the commitment. Or choose some other action, display or tactic to create incredible fear and confusion for the new source of supply.

The narcissist may even decide to punish the new Supply by trying to hook up with you, the old Supply, and create a horrible triangulation situation.

All of this is incredibly common. In fact, it is usual for narcissists to do this. Don’t take it as a compliment if he or she hasn’t done this. It’s certainly not a compliment to be treated as an object for somebody’s self-serving soulless agendas, just as it is not a compliment to be used as a punishment tool against somebody else at whim, only to be discarded again.


The Cycle of Violence

Drama is what narcissistic relationships are all about.

The more compliant and gentle the new supply is, the less drama will be visible to all. However, the drama will still take place. The more triggered and reactionary the new Supply is, the more the cracks will be apparent, and the relationship is likely to go through many breakups as well as many episodes of reuniting.

That is until the new Supply is completely clear and free of any desire or compulsion to reconnect with the narcissist, or the narcissist has mined them to the point of complete brokenness and decided that there is nothing more to gain.

The same goes for all narcissistic relationships.

Even if the partner is quiet and compliant and keeping the home fires burning while the narcissist is being a narcissist, which means being selfish, loose, unaccountable and reckless, the narcissist is still likely to take them through the cycles of idealisation, devalue and discard.

Idealisation happens when the new Supply is leaving or has had enough, and the narcissist needs to hoover him or her back into the relationship to retain narcissistic supply. Such as for the convenience of what this person does for them – providing the veneer of the perfect life or to keep paying the bills and mopping up the messes, etc.

Or, the narcissist is charming them in order to manipulate them into handing something over.

Further into the relationship, the devaluing happens virtually at all other times, when not needing to idealise. This is because the narcissist is constantly suffering the horrific inner emotional traumas regarding themselves, needing to project them onto the new Supply.

Then the discarding happens to punish the new Supply for not appeasing the False Self adequately (which of course is impossible to do).

The discarding could even be done on the side, allowing the narcissist to feel vindicated for being treated “so badly”, by taking lovers, prostitutes, or seeking sexual supply from past partners or even friends of the new Supply.

The new Supply may know nothing about this.

And, to the outside world, all may seem well.

Unless you are living within the four walls of their homes, you really have no idea how other people’s lives are actually going.


Your Healing In All of This

You may be focusing much of your energy on what is going on between the narcissist and the new Supply. I understand this. Before my Thriver Healing journey I did this myself.

The trauma from this is horrific. If you are honest with yourself you know how rank this feels in your body. You know how much this is draining your life force and making it almost impossible for you to function.

When the traumas in your body are screaming at you, they’re telling you that you are adding to them and not healing them.

I promise you this … when you let go, and take on your healing journey with NARP, you will start to emerge from this with incredible relief and know there is nothing here to envy.

No money, lifestyle or even privileges are worth anyone’s soul being desecrated.

The love that you thought you should have received, that possibly this person is now getting from the narcissist, does not exist!

There is nothing real to gain or have!

And please know, you are further along your evolutionary path than the new Supply. You are in the prime position to turn inwards and heal, so that you can claim your True Self and True Life.

The new Supply still has to wait for this relationship to finally blow up into pieces that simply cannot be put back together, or to drag themselves out of there shaking and quaking and barely alive.

Or, they stay, and get their soul sucked out of them.

The best thing you can do for you, and for all people who have been through narcissistic abuse, is to claim your healing, and become a shining force of inspiration for those who are still stuck, if they seek you out.

Which is exactly what myself and other Thrivers in this community do.

I hope that this has helped and inspired you to heal for real from this.

If this video has helped grant you relief, I’d love to hear from you about how it has helped, by pausing this video and writing to me below.

So, if you have had enough of the agony of wondering about the narcissist and the new Supply and going through the crippling feelings of that, it could be time for you to start healing with NARP.

You can check out NARP by clicking this link.

I really hope that this video has given you the hope that there is a way to get out of this trauma.

So, if you enjoyed this video, please hit the like button. And remember to share it with people who you know are terrorised by the narcissist moving on to a new partner.

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And, as always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.