What Causes Narcissism?

One of the questions I get asked over and over is “what causes narcissism”. So today’s Thriver TV episode is my take on this.

Of course, I cover the impact of nature and nurture. But most importantly I wanted to go even deeper, into the spiritual cause and meaning of narcissism.

The debate around the importance of nature versus nurture will continue – but the spiritual causes affect all of us, not only narcissists. We can all find ourselves in separation consciousness, and it is recognition of this that has so many of us asking ‘am I the narcissist?’

I hope this TTV has you looking within, as well as towards your abuser, so that you can have an understanding of the difference between us and narcissists – and how our healing can change ourselves, humanity and ultimately the world.



Video Transcript

Today I want to talk about what creates narcissism and I want to look at this from a psychological, genetic, and spiritual perspective.

If you haven’t yet subscribed to my YouTube channel, please do so and hit the notification bell so that you’ll know of each new video that I release. I’d love for you to share my videos and ‘like’ them so that we can let people know that it is possible to heal for real from narcissistic abuse.

Now on to what causes narcissism? It’s one of those million dollar questions that a lot of you ask all the time.



First of all I want to look at Nature. For example, I’ve got two beautiful pussy cats who are sisters from the same litter yet they have completely different personalities. One’s really sweet and the other one is a lot more complex, and she has a lot more defense mechanisms.

This can be the same even with identical twins. Every parent knows that each of their children can seem to have a completely different personality make up

We don’t just acquire hair color and eye color. Just as we may express blue eyes or brown eyes, or dark hair or blonde hair, we also may express certain personality traits that we’ve picked up genetically from our ancestors.

A lot of our great neuroscientists, quantum scientists and genetic experts are really proving this. Our genetic composition can include certain survival programs, fears or traumas which another child in the same family doesn’t have, and this will express as differing personalities.

Narcissism is about fear and defences. Narcissists have an enlarged amygdala and exaggerated defense mechanisms. They react from their primitive brain rather than anchoring into a more reasonable and emotionally secure way of dealing with things, and this can be present from earliest childhood.



Now let’s look at nurture.

Nurture is, for example, being born into an environment where you have a narcissistic parent. Such a parent is abusive, selfish and everything is all about them. They are neglectful and their child isn’t validated or respected for their own needs, views or ideas. Instead, this child is taught that they’re not good enough, that they’re not important and that they’re not valued. They are completely invalidated and this can create narcissism.

A child treated in this way will make an internal decision that “as myself, I’m not getting my needs met. As myself, I can’t emotionally survive or function in the world. I need to create some kind of strategy to be able to get along.”

Children can also suffer abuse or violation. It could be mental, physical, spiritual or sexual abuse, which results in a situation where the true self is submerged because it’s way too painful and a false self will come forth.

There’s two ways that this can go with children. We have the narcissist and we have the codependent.

The narcissist is, “I’m going to create a fictitious false self – the ‘me’ that I would like to be. So my buffer to stop the pain is to imagine that I’m omnipotent, I’m magnificent, I’m incredible and people fear me.” It’s a cartoon vision of a child self as a superhero, or somebody incredible.

This child may end up being the bully in the schoolyard because they feel so pumped up, important and superior that even from a young age they need to have other people bow down to them, respect them and give them what they need. Whereas their version at home could be very, very different because they’re the one that is being abused and they’re the one being bullied.

On the other hand, a child may also become codependent at a young age. These children ask themselves, “how do I survive the abuse and the neglect? Maybe it’s by me winning and earning love and approval by pleasing my parents, by being an over-accomplisher, by being the fixer, by being the helper, by being the good child.”

These are the people who may go on to be abused by a narcissist.

As a false self, a narcissist will be able to have lots of false narratives about life and themselves. They are well able to lie from an early age, looking people in the eyes and telling them a version of things that doesn’t even resemble the truth. They do this either to win approval or to shunt the blame elsewhere, usually onto the scapegoated child.

The narcissist will also do all sorts of bad things to get their share of the goodies. They’ll steal, lie, cheat and scheme. And then they’ll blame the scapegoated, codependent child of the family – the more sensitive child who’s trying to people-please to stay safe. They’re the ones that will get attacked by the narcissist in the family, and a narcissistic sibling will absolutely take it out on them.

There are other ways psychologically that a narcissist can be created too, including over-entitlement. Over-entitlement results from never saying no to a child, giving them whatever they want and giving them too much free rein in an attempt to please them and be loved by them. Rather than saying no, having limits, creating boundaries and holding firm in truths even at the risk of disagreements and them disliking you.

A narcissistic parent will usually have their golden child. This is a child that they use to feel better about themselves. They objectify this child – their looks, their sporting achievements, their academia or anything they can brag about – and live vicariously through them.

The golden child feels like they’re always on a pedestal and they’re superior. This can create narcissism. Not to say that every golden child that’s put in that position will become a narcissist because many of them are not. But it can create narcissism.




Now to the spiritual side of this. We are living in a human construct which is very conducive to narcissism.

This is because Source has been taken out of the equation. Source, meaning our higher self, prime creator, the light, life force, love, the wave function of oneness, and the interconnectedness of Unity Consciousness – which comes from Source /the prime creator.

If we are not filled and fulfilled with Source, we can’t have peace, inner solidness and an integration within ourselves, our soul, our spirit, our higher self and our world. When we are lacking that fulfillment, we are going to try to get filled from the outside – and this can never be durable and authentic. It will always be a false substitute.

This is things like buying the next flashy car; having a big pay packet; having a hot girlfriend or boyfriend; having people envy you; having your identity based in stuff, things and how many likes you get on Facebook; or how many people think you’re attractive and tell you you’re beautiful.

All of these false substitutes are feeding the ego. It may even be, “I’m such a nice person, I do all these lovely things” and then grandstanding your virtue to get attention and an ego feed.

So that is a huge problem in humanity. We get fixated on looking at ourselves through these identity-based classifications. We are getting away from the True Unity Consciousness identity, which is “I am Source. I’m a fractal of Source. I am a part of the divine mind, of oneness, of the higher consciousness – that I am a piece of as an eternal, immortal spiritual being, having a physical experience.” That’s where we get our wholeness and our connection from, and our peace and our power – true powerfulness.

Narcissism is not powerfulness: it’s powerlessness trying to be powerful.

True source is our true identity at the wave oneness function. That’s actually who we are. The further we get away from that, by making our identity as ‘my job’, ‘my skin color’, ‘my classification’, ‘my whatever’, the more we’re getting taken away from the Oneness – which is ourselves and all of life and Unity Consciousness.

So spiritually, narcissism is created through separation consciousness. “I’m different from you. It’s me versus you. I have to win and others have to lose for me to get my share of the goodies. I’m in lack, I’m in separation, I’m not blessed by Source, I’m not a part of Source, and I don’t know how to express myself as Source in life.” That’s narcissism. “I’m out in the cold on my own, having to scheme, lie, manipulate and do whatever it takes to get my share of the goodies because I don’t believe that I’m worthy, or whole, or deserving because I’m not connected to Source.”

That’s the spiritual aspect of it.


“Am I The Narcissist?”

You may sometimes have wondered “am I a narcissist?” because sometimes you feel empty and separated. You may know that you have people-pleased, or manipulated and had an agenda to try to be loved, approved of, and to get energy from the outside. Maybe you don’t feel any good unless you are getting ‘the stuff’.

Yet that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a narcissist. It means that you are suffering a spiritual deficiency within, where you haven’t yet come home to releasing the traumas that are keeping you in separation consciousness. By releasing those and filling with the light, which is unity consciousness, you can come home to true Source and original creator, and to knowing that you are a piece of original creator.

That’s why I’m so passionate about what I teach in healing from narcissistic abuse. True healing is getting out of separation consciousness where you can get taken down by narcissists, and getting out of that deficient trauma where you are susceptible to abusers. It is coming home to Unity Consciousness.

If we all did that, our world would be completely different, humanity would be completely different and this planet would be completely different.


In Conclusion

We can all have narcissistic traits. Does it mean that we have Narcissistic Personality Disorder? No.

If you’re in this community, it’s highly unlikely that you are a narcissist. That means we can heal and clean up those parts of us that are feeling powerless, trying to feel powerful by our skirmishes, and trying to get things from outside of ourselves rather than coming home to ourselves.

My Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program is a 10-step process to clean all of that up, come home to yourself and escape the world of connection to narcissists – because you evolve beyond it.

When we’re whole, solid and fulfilled, then we have no need to try to turn crumbs into cookies, or try to change and fix abusive people so that they will love us. We leave them behind and we move into much more authentic, genuine, fulfilling relationships.

It all starts with ourselves.

I hope that helps – let me know in the comments below.

Until the next one, keep smiling, keep healing and keep thriving – because there is nothing else to do!


What Do Narcissistic Abuse And Ascension Have In Common?

5 Symptoms Of Abuse That Can Be Healed

Today I want to reach out to you to give you hope – regarding how you can heal the five areas of your life that are severely impacted by narcissistic abuse – your emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, and financial health.

At the beginning of this article, I want to validate you with a deep dive into what has happened to you, why healing has been such a struggle, and to help you understand that you are not going crazy, nor are you defective, helpless, hopeless and unable to heal.

Then, as a result of taking you with me on this journey of information today, I hope that you can deeply feel the truth about how it is possible to heal for real from within.


The Reality Of Narcissistic Abuse

Being a victim of narcissistic abuse is horrifying. Terrible. Painful. It affects everything in your life, and the most frightening aspect of it is that it affects YOU. Your emotions, thoughts and your ability to function in everyday events, much less put back together the shattered pieces of your life.

We have all heard the expression “time heals all wounds”, and that is true for many things, yet for severe trauma that has impacted a person’s Inner Being, this doesn’t seem to be the case. I attest to this.

Previously (before the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program healing processes) I was shocked at how “time” wasn’t helping me heal. Over many years, and working with so many people from all over the world I have consistently seen many people, even decades after leaving a narcissist, not get better either.

In relation to the “time” theory, many people will tell you that healing from narcissistic abuse will take a great deal of time. I was told this as well. Now I know this is a false premise. Time is not the determinant of healing, healing itself is, and I promise you that healing can be rapid when you know how to heal the right way.

People will even tell you that the best you can do is try to find a way to manage your abuse symptoms, such as Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, for the rest of your life. This is just NOT true. I am living proof of this, as are thousands of people from all over the world who once were crippled with these symptoms and who no longer have them.

Let’s look more deeply at what happens to you emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and financially as a result of narcissistic abuse.


Narcissistic Abuse Symptoms

What is terrifying about narcissistic abuse is that you start to experience a breakdown of your emotions, body and nervous system in a way that you may never have experienced before.

Firstly, you start to feel anxious and then depressed. Confused and triggered. These kaleidoscopes of negative emotions escalate into feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, shame and even panic attacks. At the times of trying to reason with a narcissist, hold them accountable for shocking behaviour and uphold some of your own rights, you may feel so triggered that you feel paralysed, lifeless, or literally fighting for your sanity and life.

This takes a terrible toll. You absolutely are suffering from Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, meaning that it is not safe to be YOU. Unlike a traumatic event that happens then is over, that you can recover from, this traumatic pummelling keeps happening; and as the abuse deepens, it intensifies in severity and frequency.

Of course, you then experience a diminishing of your Life Force, hope and enjoyment in your personal relationships, interests, and missions. All of your Life Force that used to be available for self-expression and creativity has now been hijacked to try to emotionally survive.

You become withdrawn, isolated, cut off. Many people may not understand what you are going through. How can they when they have never experienced the spiritual war of narcissistic abuse? How can they when the narcissist has also usually been grooming these people to think “how wonderful this person is!”

Many people suffer agoraphobia, as a result of narcissistic abuse. A fear of being out in life. It may feel almost impossible to do. No longer do you feel safe to be in your body and in life, as yourself.

Then the body starts breaking down, as the emotional and nervous system is being continually “fried”, and you feel outer support is slipping away, and you are losing the ability to support yourself. Things like adrenal malfunctions, hair loss, fibromyalgia and flare ups of any previous illnesses or susceptibilities you have ever had occur and are common as your immune system continues to break down.

To make matters worse, you may be experiencing wild unhealthy swings with food, sleep and choices of trying to medicate away the pain and fear that you are experiencing. Maybe you can’t sleep without nightmares, or you are so depressed you are sleeping all the time. You may be totally turned off food, or eating extremely unhealthy comfort foods. Perhaps you are overindulging in caffeine, nicotine, alcohol or other drugs or unhealthy addictive pastimes as a way to try to numb out and cope.

All of which are making you sicker.

Financially you start to be impacted. You may be too sick to work or are under threat of losing your job. It is likely that the narcissist is siphoning out your money and resources anyway – because that is what they do. Maybe the narcissist has grabbed control of the finances and taken away your ability to earn or have access to funds. The narcissist will have already sealed up or will be trying to work matters to their favour, so that when the relationship collapses, he or she will try to get as much of the assets as possible and potentially leave you with nothing, or even worse – all of the debt.

With no justice and ability to make the narcissist stop behaving like a narcissist, your self-worth and confidence drains away. It seems that no one is coming to help – not your friends and family. Not the legal system and not the authorities. Rather, in most cases, they have been turned on you by the narcissist and there are others who the narcissist has been able to procure as minions to further assault you.

Now, this is where the compromise to your Inner Identity has taken place – your compromised beliefs about self, life and others.

Of course, your Inner Identity believes its “truths” about the horror story you are living. “I’m not safe.” “People are evil.”, “How am I going to survive this?”, “I’m being annihilated”, “I can never recover”, “I’ll never rebuild”, “The people I love destroy me”, “I can’t trust anyone.”… and the list goes on and on.

This is where the level of true damage and previously failed recoveries is taking place – because when our Inner Identity believes such things and has these beliefs glued into place with strong emotional energetic charges, then this is the driver of our life. It is the literal inner engine that is creating our life.

From this place within, the almighty power of the subconscious says, “That’s the program and that is what your Life is now.” This means what you feel, then think, then attract, then participate in is exactly that subconscious program. As long as those traumas are still stuck inside your Inner Being then life can and only ever will be “more of the same”.

That being the case, in the old way of trying to deal with narcissistic abuse, there is only the possibility of trying to find someone to take away your pain (which usually brings someone else to deliver even more pain) or numb yourself out with medication or addictions, or try to hide out as a hermit away from “life”, but this really means just locking down with the inner demons that are tearing you apart on the inside anyway.

I understand. I initially tried all three of these methods to try to get relief – but none of them worked – because significant unhealed Inner Identity trauma does not go away.

That was until I discovered the truth about how to heal from narcissistic abuse.


Healing The Subconscious Programs

You are your subconscious programs. What you believe at a deep level is your “beingness”. This is inside you, in your body, in the cells of your body. It’s NOT what you are trying to think in your head.

“New thinking” can work for us when we don’t have powerfully installed subconscious programs. The aspects of our life that we have strong emotional feelings connected with, when we think of them, are the topics of our life that we have the most impacted subconscious programs with. This means you are already programmed, that your life is on a trajectory that no amount of “thinking” or “doing” can get you free of.

Why? Because your thinking is following your body – your subconscious programming – we call this “obsession” or “stinking thinking” or “analysis paralysis”. It means, as hard as you try to “think free” you will keep defaulting back to thinking ABOUT the trauma. Your thinking can only be within the bandwidth of the trauma.

The same is exact for your “doing”. Your actions and decisions will also be impacted and fall within the range of the trauma. It’s impossible for us to do better, until we get better and getting better has to start on the inside.

Getting better happens by shifting your beingness out of the trauma. Then your thinking and doing will automatically follow.

Let’s look at the five symptoms of narcissistic abuse – in order – which can be healed.


Number One – Healing Emotional Symptoms

As a result of releasing internal trauma (what hurts the most right now), space and healing can enter. This means that things stop hurting. Your emotions start to be relieved of the painful emotional feelings in your body – the anxiety, depression, panic and other debilitating emotions such as resentment, despair, anger, heartbreak, shame and powerlessness. You literally have the ability to shift all of these painful emotions out with the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) and start to live free of them.

With the Quanta Freedom Healing shifts in NARP, what comes into your emotional self to replace where those traumas previously were, is good feelings of relief, like you are going to survive this, and organic feelings of “Life Force”, hope, inspiration and even joy. These occur even without any outer evidence to “give” you these. Rather you just start having them.

This then leads on to a flow-on effect to better thinking. Let’s examine this.




Number Two – Healing Mental Symptoms

Your brain follows your body. Once the emotions within you are released and are replaced with stable, solid, calm feelings of peace, then your mind settles down to reciprocate this shift.

Where you previously had terrible feelings of being victimised, devastated, betrayed (and the list is endless), and the matching thoughts, as the feelings evaporate so do the thoughts about this.

The “stinking thinking “melts away.

When you try to think about “what happened” (all the things that you previously obsessively couldn’t stop thinking about) it is like you are thinking about someone else – like it happened to someone else and there is no longer any emotional charge on it. It becomes really difficult to go into the story anymore because it just doesn’t matter – you would rather think about other things.

This is because your mind now has space and energy for new concepts, new ideas, “what’s next” after paralysis analysis and traumatised thinking.

Have you ever heard the expression, “Just let it go?” You can’t do this mentally no matter how hard you try to “decide” to do it! However, because you did let it go out of your body, this is why you are now free of feeling and thinking it – because that internal trauma just isn’t in your Inner Identity anymore.

It is no longer WHO you are.

Now let’s look at why and how you can physically start healing as well.


Number Three – Healing Physical Symptoms

Previously your emotional trauma was attacking all of your physical systems. Your nervous and immune systems were breaking down under the toxic load of terrible feelings and thinking. Also, when suffering extreme trauma we tend to choose substances and pastimes that are in the bandwidth of the trauma – toxic and unhealthy. Things like poor food and unhealthy addictions.

Health issues like fibromyalgia, adrenal malfunction, and all sorts of physical maladies occur as a result of internalised impactful trauma. In fact, I will go as far as to say, I personally believe all dis-ease has an emotional unhealed root to it.

Now that these traumas are being shifted out and are no longer regurgitating toxins with obsessional thinking, this means space, oxygen and nutrients can enter your cells. Healing can enter. Also, when we get better, we do better. It’s organic. We want to choose healthier food, pastimes and people in our lives. We seek health solutions and positive solutions start to come into focus.

Your physical body has an incredible ability to heal, when granted the right conditions.

I and many others healed conditions (which simply melted away) that we were told were unhealable. Things like chronic adrenal malfunctions and fatigues, psychotic breakdowns (literal brain damage), C-PTSD, fibromyalgia and many other nasty physical side effects of narcissistic abuse that are too many to mention.

Many people within our community were so physically sick with dis-ease they were bed bound and unable to physically operate. Many of these people who healed with NARP are now more physically happy and healthy than they have ever been in their entire life. This is true for myself as well.

I have seen, in this community people completely heal from illnesses they were told to make end of life plans for, as a result of releasing traumas in their body that were generating these conditions.

Now let’s look at the flow on, as to how spiritually you can heal.


Number Four ­– Healing Spiritual Symptoms

One of the most powerful aspects of healing from narcissistic abuse, is the understanding that this is a spiritual war. Narcissists are a False Self. False Gods. False Light. We cling to them because we believe that they are our “Source” and that we can’t exist without them.

The entire spiritual lesson for us is to let go of “false idols” and come home to ourselves and True Source – our own Higher Power which you may want to call “God” or “Source” or “Creation” (the Higher Power of your choice).

Then you can be “self-defined” rather than handing over your power to outside forces and be defined by them.

By releasing the traumas in our body regarding the narcissist, and what they have smashed within us, we release those parts that were holding a False Source responsible. This is all the pain, loss and fractures relating to another person not granting us (or destroying) what we can generate (as adults) for ourselves through our own True Soul / Source power and authenticity.

As children we were powerless and co-dependent. As adults we can heal and grow ourselves up, from the inside, beyond continuing to hand our power, truths and values away to abusers.

This is the spiritual hero’s and heroine’s True Journey that narcissists bring us to our knees to face, like no other.

By committing to healing ourselves to escape the hell of narcissists and return to our true intended state, then we come “home”. We feel whole. We know True Love and acceptance. No longer are we anxiously trying to get our salvation from False Sources outside of ourselves. Through this spiritual wholeness we can connect to our own deservedness and truths and make much more conscious and healthy choices in our lives.

Now let’s look at the flow in our everyday practical lives.


Number Five ­– Healing Financial Symptoms

Through my own Thriver Recover, and a return to True Source, as well as viewing the progress of thousands of others globally, this I know – consistent real-life compensation occurs to those who understand “True Value”, which is the value of our Soul.

So many of us held on to narcissists for the wrong reasons. This was the co-dependency of, “I need you to get this (whatever it is we weren’t creating / generating ourselves) for me.” We put bricks and mortar and finances above the valuing of our Inner Beings – our Souls.

Thriver recovery is about putting our Soul first, aligning with that and working on our true relationship with True Source. It is the embodiment of, “You are NOT my Source. True Source is!”

And … the healing of my Soul and coming home to True Source is my goal. Much MORE than what feeds my personality (stuff I hope to get from you).

The people who I know who made this their highest priority – inner peace, freedom and coming home to a love and acceptance of self and Source (without “stuff”) were then able to start generating incredible prosperity in their life.

Not because they NEEDED it to get inner peace, happiness and wholeness. Rather, because they were already BEING inner peace, wholeness and happiness, and were then able to expand into more creativity, purpose, joy, energy and power than ever before.

This time it was authentic.

I personally know so many people (myself included) who lost everything to narcissistic abuse, made peace with the losses, accepting the gift of the spiritual lesson, came home to their own Souls and Source, then re-kickstarted with more abundance, joy and success than they ever believed was possible for them.

Here is the absolute truth – if it hadn’t been for narcissistic abuse and Thriver Recovery such prosperity would not have been possible for them – because up until this time they were trying to survive and create wealth from a place of lack and fear. It had never been as a result of their Source / Soul partnership.


In Conclusion

Wow – this was in depth! Hopefully all of this information has not confused you, and instead has helped you understand that healing is a flow-on organic process when you start to get well.

Getting well means getting that trauma out of your body. And replacing it with Life Force. Some call this Letting Go and Letting God.

Or … moving from Darkness to Light.

Or … moving from Fear to Love.

I like to call it exiting Wrong Town and steering towards Right Town!

After discovering this way to heal, over a decade ago, I have no idea how it could be possible any other way, and I no longer even try to.

I’d love to show you how to live this life too with NARP and my incredible global NARP Community who help hold you and help you every step of the way.

For more details about NARP and my Quanta Freedom Healing methods please check out my free 2-part Masterclass.

Does this article give you hope? If you are already working with NARP, have you started to see shifts in your emotional, mental, physical, spiritually and financial health? Has this been a good check-in for you to see where you are at with your healing?

I’d love to hear from you below.


Redefining Your Dreams And Goals After Narcissistic Abuse


This episode is about helping you get in contact with your True Self and True Life, which means being able to access and activate the loving, healthy and successful life that is your birthright to live.

I know, after narcissistic abuse, you may believe that a great life just isn’t possible for you.

However, I know the exact opposite, that because you have been narcissistically abused, your True Life is even more possible for you than it ever was.

And I can’t wait to explain to you WHY in today’s video.



Video Transcript

Okay, I just want to start off by saying thank you so much if you filled in the New Life survey a couple of weeks ago! Myself and the MTE team are so grateful for the responses. We had over 4000 entries!

And now … the lucky winners of the 5 free MTE healing programs are …… (drum roll) …… Christine, Sam, Cindy, Joann and Donna.

Congratulations! You will receive an email with your instructions on how to claim your free healing program. Please know that we are not releasing last names to protect privacy, so if you have the same name as one of the winners but did not receive a prize, this is why.

We run competitions quite regularly for our New Life Newsletter subscribers. If you aren’t a member, what are you waiting for? Subscribe by clicking this link  (you also receive a free 16 day recovery course!).

Okay so now … I am so excited to be sharing today’s TTV episode with you.

Because I enjoy nothing more than creating my own personal dreams after narcissistic abuse and helping thousands of other people, globally, to do the same.

People just like you … no matter how much you’ve been hurt or what you’ve lost, there is an amazing life awaiting you, if you know how to activate it.

And, because today’s episode is all about that, I just want to let you know that my Super-Thrive three-day workshop in Melbourne is coming up real soon on the 23rd to the 25th of March.

My promise to you is, if you come to this workshop, you will experience unprecedented breakthroughs into areas of your life, that you deeply desire the most – namely love, health and wealth.

You can find out more about this exclusive event by clicking this link. 

Okay … now let’s move onto this episode.


The People Who Stand to Gain the Most

This is what I believe with all my heart – the people who have lost everything are in the best position to gain the most.

You may think I’m crazy but listen up.

What we were living, wasn’t our True Soul’s destiny. We thought it was, but it wasn’t. When connected to a False Self trying to source our life through them, everything was breaking down. Our health, our finances and ultimately our entire being.

All of this was screaming at us “Wrong Town!”

This is what I discovered, for myself and countless other people, just like you, who have lost everything – when we learnt to value our Soul and our Inner Being above all else, all losses started to reverse.

When we turn inwards to self-partner, and purposefully and lovingly release and reprogram our inner traumas (which is exactly what NARP allows you to powerfully do) then an astounding phenomenon takes place.

All of Source, Life and Creation start to partner us also, with mega-gusto.

Rather than the uphill battle of constantly trying to make life work from the outside (trying to obtain and retain people and situations in order to allow us to feel loved, approved of, safe and secure), we have finally got into the true driver seat of Creation.

We have realised the only way to create a life successfully is from the inside out.

It has to be between us and ourselves.

And even more than this, this IS the essential relationship between us and our Higher Power (Source).

When we have healed ourselves, we realise wholeness as just an ‘isness’. It’s our natural, organic state without the traumas and false beliefs that we have all been inflicted with. And, we return home.

From this place, we begin directly sourcing with Life itself.

No longer are we handing away our power to the people and situations that are not aligned with our True Self and True Life.

No longer do we choose, roll around with and get mined by abusers.

It’s not until we take on the journey of self-partnering, that we realise what a false journey (albeit unconsciously) we were on, and how it was never going to work out durably or deliver the only life that was ever going to gratify us.

As a result of healing and feeling whole on the inside, regardless of where your life is or what anybody else is or isn’t doing, then your life … your True Life, begins.

Powerfully, in ways that will nourish and flourish you beyond your wildest dreams!


What Are Your Dreams and Goals?

People say all the time, “I don’t know what my dreams and goals are”. Or maybe they do know, but don’t know how on earth they could ever activate them.

And, maybe they have been used to living a life where they have been trying to provide other people with their dreams and goals instead, in order to feel loved and safe.

When you start a deep inner healing, a realisation takes hold – that you are here for a purpose, that is aligned with your Soul Truth. And this is what you deeply want to do!

You also start to deeply sense that your aligning with your true soul purpose in no way means that you need to go without. It is, in fact, the exact opposite.

All that you ever wished for including love, health and wealth come naturally when you are no longer on the wrong path. When you honour your Soul and Source, Source and your Soul fully respond. This Force unlocks for you all that your heart desires.

That has been my experience and the experience of more Thrivers that I could mention.

What you want as your dreams is what your heart is telling you. Your goals and dreams are personal, and in no way are they selfish. They involve your greatest contribution to the world.

When you are fully being yourself, you will serve The All in the highest of ways.

None of this is possible if you continue handing away your power trying to be what other people want you to be in an attempt to get love, approval or safety. You need to self-partner and become your own powerful source.


How to Connect to Your Truth

I really want you to understand this … your life is not about other people loving you more.

It is about you loving you more.

Your life is not about getting approval.

It’s about you approving of yourself.

Your life is not about doing something so that you can make money.

It’s about being the person you were born to be and then being abundantly supported by all of life as a result of this.

Yes, you can have love, health and wealth whilst being of incredible service to this planet.

You can have it all!

After narcissistic abuse and losing it all, you TRULY stand to gain it all.

You can activate this by turning inwards and healing yourself, in order to integrate with your infinite power and the wisdom of your Inner Being.

Your greatest mission is to be self-partnered. To let go of the shame and blame of yourself and others. To lose all of the painful feelings that have been standing between you and the entering of your incredible extended, expanded life.

You are here to make a difference, and to be the new wave of self-partnered, self-generative Oneness, that changes everything for you personally and everything you touch in this world.

How do you activate this?

How do you stand in your truth to start redefining your dreams and goals?

My highest suggestion is to listen to the truth of your heart and soul.

List what you want and don’t hold back.

Your soul doesn’t get it wrong.

If you are feeling it then it is true for you.

Your personal destiny that awaits you, is seeking you as much as you are seeking it.

What is blocking this destiny from touching you, inspiring you and calling you into it?

Nothing, other than your fears, limited traumatic programming and beliefs that allow you to talk yourself out of it, be fearful and not go for the ride.

That is completely normal, even though it is horrifically unnatural. You were programmed with the traumas of limitations by other people with their own internal trauma that disconnected them from their dreams and goals.

The great news is, there is a TOTAL way for you to clear those blocks within you so that your true destiny comes into view.


Sign Up, Clear Out and Show Up

I will be showing people in intense detail in my three-day Super-Thrive workshop how to work through these processes, but I’ll share with you what I did to make my incredible destiny happen so that you can too.

Step 1: Sign Up

I had the sense that I needed to do this years ago, so I did.

I declared to Source, All of Life and my Superconscious the following …

“I sign up. I hand myself over to you to be the vessel for my highest and best potential to enter me as me. I will be a conduit for my most powerful and expanded contribution on this planet, and to be the person, the ONLY person, that will completely gratify me.”

I knew I meant it, even though I had NO idea what this would make happen!

This led to the necessity for me to …

Step 2: Clear Out

Then what happened, was all the fears and limitations that I already had within me, were thrust up to the surface.

Things like, “I’m too old and I don’t have the qualifications to be super successful.”

“I know that I should be able to be flourished and nourished with love. But love has never worked out for me before.”

“How on earth am I going to get the support to be able to do this mission? Or be accepted for my ideas?  It’s never happened before!”

This I knew … there was no WAY I was going to be able to walk through the door into my Super-Thriving magnificence, with this JUNK stuck in my suitcase.

I had to unpack diligently, all those fears, confusions, doubts and limitations trapped in my Inner Being.

So, I committed FULLY to doing that …

When I did this because I’d already made the declaration for my Superconscious Self to enter me, it did … on steroids.

Which then led to step number three.

Step 3: Show Up

The most amazing things were now happening.

Where fear, inertia, and lack of courage had been, I was filling up with inspiration, impulses and feelings and thoughts that I had never experienced before.

Excitement and tangible ‘possibility’ arose within me, relating to EVERY area of my life.

And, as I looked around me, I was blown away by the synchronicity, opportunities and the literal miracles of people, situations and events rushing towards me that completely represented my highest expressions of Love, Health and Wealth.

This had NEVER happened before.

I knew what I had to do.

I had to SHOW up!

I had to be available, open and empowered ENOUGH to explore and actualise these incredible opportunities!

To be able to do that … to have the courage, boundaries, and energy to be able to participate fully with the super-boost that Creation Itself was granting me, I had to learn how to ride on top of an incredible wave.

Rather, than falling off and sinking.

To do that it was really important to keep going back to Step 2 – clearing out any fears, blocks, limitations or confusion that arose.

Of course, at times these new opportunities quite frankly terrified me, yet this was exactly where I needed to show up, exploring and working with these new expanded potentials.

I had to bust out of all of my previous comfort zones in order to capitalise on these opportunities.

And the same is 100% true for you.

This is where the inner Quantum Tools are so powerful, because they bypass your logical brain, and get deep within you to release all of your limiting blocks and activate your power.

If you know that this is the level that you want to get to, I can’t recommend enough checking out my Quanta Freedom Healing programs by clicking this link. 

And, if you want to get up close and personal with me for three days, where I will give it my all, including performing Quanta Freedom healing shifts, to move you into your most amazing True Life, then check out this link.

Come Super-Thrive with me!

And as always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.



How To Get In Touch With Your Inner Being

How To Get In Touch With Your Inner Being


I know deep inside how important it is for you to get in touch with your Inner Being!

Because if you don’t, it means that your life will be controlled by other people and situations, rather than by what is true for you.

How do you get in touch with your Inner Being? How can you self-partner in a way where you are able to meet and be with your Inner Being in a healthy way?

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I take you on this journey of how to integrate and connect back with yourself, in ways where you will be able to create your True Self and True Life.



Video Transcript

I hope by now you understand just how important it is to get in touch with your Inner Being.

Because if you are not, you will be pulled out of your centre by people and situations, and start living their life, rather than your own.

Your Inner Being is your guide and truth.

So how do you get in touch with your Inner Being?

I’m going to explain to you exactly how you do that in today’s video.

But before I do, thank you everyone who has subscribed to my channel for supporting the Thriver mission, and realising and sharing that we can heal for real from abuse now.

And, if you like this video, please like and share it with others who you know it can help.

Right, on with today’s episode!

How it’s Normal to Not Be in Touch With Your Inner Being

It is frighteningly normal not to be in touch with your Inner Being. But in no way is this natural.

I completely and utterly believe that our essential nature is to be at one with ourselves, and then have the capacity to be at one with others and all of life.

So how did we get disconnected from ourselves?

It happened as a result of trauma. Because of taking on the impregnated beliefs that we are defective and damaged, and that we are not loved as we are and that we have to earn our way to love and acceptance.

And of course, there have been incredible atrocities in the collective human history that have created intense anxiety, fear and depression.

Because of this, it can be terrifying to go inside. Who would want to settle into an inner landscape that resembles a war zone?

Naturally, this created us as beings trying to find salvation outside of ourselves. Yet no matter how many possessions we accumulate, or beauty treatments that we may have, or people who we may have intimate and sexual relationships with, the same problem remains.

“I don’t feel at one with myself.”

“I can’t be with myself in times of need and self soothe and bring myself to wholeness.“

Which of course means, … “I have to try to keep medicating with something outside of myself to try to feel sane and okay.”

Can you see the terrible trap that most of humanity has been stuck in throughout the centuries?

The Mistake Most People Make

I feel really compelled to talk about this because this is exactly what I used to do too.

Because we have been indoctrinated into systems that attempt to manage symptoms, rather than healing ourselves deeply at our core, it’s no wonder that we have tried to get in touch with our Inner Being (if we were courageous enough) in a really painful way – whilst we are battling our trauma and its unregulated emotions and thoughts.

This is like trying to sail a ship that has holes in its hull and continually having to bail it out, rather than being able to just healthily sail forward.

I used to be addicted to self-development, meaning that every morning I would meditate, say affirmations, chant, do journaling and yoga – all sorts of things to try to be at one with my Inner Being.

Absolutely these things helped, but the problem was I continually needed to do these things. If I didn’t then the anxiety, fears and depression would all come back.

It was exhausting!

What I was really doing was attempting to manage my Inner Being.

I wasn’t healing it.

When I finally did heal it for real with Quanta Freedom Healing (NARP), no longer did I have to do hours of self-managing. Eventually there was simply less and less trauma existing inside of me to try to manage.

I have seen the same happen for other people, even those who once declared, just as I did, “What? More inner work? I have been doing self-development for decades and I’m still not healed!”

I promise you that when you finally do free your Inner Being from trauma, you will come home to being able to be with your Inner Being without effort. It will feel peaceful and normal for you to be there.

How to REALLY Come Back Home to Your Inner Being

There is only one way to achieve this – by directing your attention inside your body and working and dealing directly with your emotions.

Not in a way that you judge yourself.

Not in a way that you get taken out by your emotions and spiral into even greater fear, anxiety and depression.

But, in a way where you can be your own saviour. Meaning be the person in your life (and you are the only person who can be) who will rescue you from these impregnated traumas and beliefs that are not Who You Are.

I want you to imagine this. If you had a home that was filled with parasites or vermin that were destroying it, would you face this? Of course, you would do all that you can to have your house cleansed and released from these invaders.

I promise you that your Inner Being is no different. If you have accumulated trauma from your family DNA history, your childhood, and the repeat patterns and traumas that have continued to show up in your life as an adult, then you may have reached toxic overload.

This is when life is getting worse not better.

This is when you are dissolving rather than evolving.

This is why you are disintegrating, rather than integrating back home to yourself.

There is only one solution for this. Clean up the toxic overload.

I promise you with all my heart that my previous levels of toxic trauma within my Inner Being, that caused my emotions and thoughts to be broken and irreparable, meant that unless I had got rid of my toxic overload, I would never have recovered.

That’s exactly what (thank goodness) I learned how to do.

Once I had released myself from this inner toxicity, I discovered I could reside with my Inner Being as my best friend, lover, healer, confidant and supporter. It became easy and healthy for me to hang out inside myself.

So, I cannot recommend enough, stop trying to come back home to yourself when your inner landscape is uninhabitable.

What is really necessary is to face and meet the inner parts of you that are traumatised to release them and reprogram them.

Then, the constant battle is over!

Yes, of course, this is challenging and even terrifying. But what choice do we have, if we truly want to go free into peace, happiness and success? These things can only be generated from within.

If you are really ready, and know that you need to come home to your Inner Being, I want you to pause this video and write below, “Inner Being – (use an endearing term such as sweetheart or darling) I am COMING to you!!”

So, I hope that this has helped. Profoundly.

I know that I’ve been explaining this to you, in so many different ways. Maybe this is the episode that really clicks into place for you.

If you are ready to take this journey with me, back home to yourself and your Inner Being, I’d love you to join me by clicking this link. 

I can’t wait to help you achieve this!

And as always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.



Cognitive Dissonance – How Narcissistic Trauma Bonding Creates It

Cognitive Dissonance – How Narcissistic Trauma Bonding Creates It


You may or may not know what Cognitive Dissonance really is.

It is the confusion of having justifications for staying bonded to somebody who is hurting us.

In other words, emotionally it is feeling horrific to stay, yet you find that you are under the spell of the narcissist no matter how badly he or she is treating you.

Many people don’t understand the real truth about why Cognitive Dissonance takes place, or the real reasons for it.

That’s what today’s Thriver TV episode is all about, explaining to you exactly why you are stuck in Cognitive Dissonance, and how to break free from it forever.



Video Transcript

Trauma bonding is a narcissistic abuse phenomenon. It makes it incredibly difficult to break away from somebody who is hurting us.

Logically this doesn’t make sense. Why would we stay with somebody who is really bad for us and who is ripping our life and soul apart?

How have we been able to reconcile and justify what is happening to us, in order to stay?

The reason that we do this is because we are suffering from Cognitive Dissonance.

And today I can explain to you what that REALLY means in this Thriver TV episode.

But before we get into the truth about why we stay attached, I’d like to thank each and every one of you for subscribing to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission.

And, if you agree with my philosophies, and haven’t yet subscribed, I’d love you to please do so, and please also pass my videos on to those in need.

Okay, so now let’s do a deep dive into what Cognitive Dissonance really is.


What is Cognitive Dissonance?

Cognitive Dissonance means we are experiencing two opposing ideas that are creating confusion.

A simple example of this would be the thoughts of, “I want to stay home and relax, but I’d really like to meet up with friends tonight”.

In the case of narcissistic abuse, an example of Cognitive Dissonant thoughts could go like this, “He/she is so abusive. I need to leave to save myself” with “He/she is only behaving like this because of a horrible childhood. I should stay and fix this”.

The Cognitive Dissonance creates the excuses for not pulling away and taking care of ourselves.

Other forms of Cognitive Dissonance can be “reasons” such as, “I know this relationship is meant to be, and I am going to stay and see it through” or worse still, “He really is a great guy, it’s me with all the problems, and I know I make him act like this” or “If I love him enough, I know I can heal him” or “I’m the only person that truly understands her. I can’t leave her, it’s my duty to stay and love her with everything I have”.

We decide to make our choices aligned with these reasons, even though our Inner Being is screaming “Wrong Town! I am breaking down!”

Why do we do this?

Why do we go with a version of truth in our head rather than listen to our emotions which are the Soul Truth of our entire life?

Because we are trauma bonded.

What does that mean?

Let’s investigate.


The Real Truth About Trauma Bonding

I have written a great deal about trauma bonding in the past, and there are so many ways that the narcissist behaves, which trigger us into our unhealed histories and insecurities and hook us into trying to resolve them with the person who is hurting us.

You can read more about trauma bonding here (Trauma Bonding – Is It Love Or Something Else).

Yet, when we get deeply underneath all of this, we understand the bottom line of what is really going on. It’s to do with our subconscious belief systems in relation to any topic in our life. These are the driving force of our life that hooks us up with the people, situations and events that exactly match those beliefs.

If our Inner Identity holds the belief, as a result of a traumatic past, generational wounds or painful and devastating childhoods and future adult relationships, of “Love hurts” or “The people who love me leave me/replace me/invalidate me/annihilate me” (and the list goes on and on) then this is what we continue to experience in our life.

Narcissists are famous for delivering this.

And of course, understandably, we have also formed the Inner Identity beliefs of, “I am not worth loving”, “There must be something wrong with me”, “I am incapable of getting love or my life right”. So naturally, we continue going through this over and over again.

Neuroscientists now know that our subconscious controls 40 billion bits of information per second throughout our entire systems, whereas our logical mind only controls 40 bits per second.

What do you think is pulling the strings of your life? Your almighty subconscious or your conscious thoughts?

Okay, so at this point, you may be wondering what all of this has to do with trauma bonding and Cognitive Dissonance?

Well, everything!

Your mind will come up with all the excuses and justifications to create the validity of the traumatic program.

The brain, with its limited power, defaults to agree with the powerhouse of the already existing subconscious programs.

As revolutionary neuroscientist, Dr. Joe Dispenza says, “The brain follows the body always”.


How Do You Escape Trauma Bonding and Cognitive Dissonance?

I will share with you how I achieved this.

I completely embraced that the Inner Belief systems I had in relation to love and relationships were filled with pain. All of my life I had felt unloved, unlovable and unworthy of love.

And of course, I’d been attempting to cover this up. I’d been trying to be worthy of love with all my might, by trying to be what I needed to be for others to love me.

Additionally, I realised that I had been making the excuses and justifications to stay with people who hurt me, and I tried to change and fix them, rather than let go and heal myself.

To rectify this, once and for all, I knew my life going forward had to be an inside job.

It was all between me and me. Focusing on anybody else was not going to give me my emancipation from this.

Most people, before understanding the deeper truths, when attempting to heal from Cognitive Dissonance try to address the problem at a level that it doesn’t exist.

They try to do it logically. The problem exists in the subconscious, not in the cognitive mind.

The issue is not the thoughts that are the “reasons” you are staying attached. These thoughts are a symptom of what is going on in the subconscious programs. Unless the subconscious programs are addressed, the thoughts will keep coming back, because the brain is following the body.

It doesn’t matter how much we talk, research and even get cognitive therapy, we may be able to hold healthier decisions for a short amount of time, yet the powerhouse of the 40 billion bits per second will have its way.

A deep shift has to happen on the inside of you, within your Inner Identity, and then your brain will follow.

Are you having the epiphany yet about why you are coming up with reasons and justifications for staying attached, or breaking no contact, or trying to go in and get accountability even though you know you can’t? Despite knowing how much extra pain it brings every time you do it?

Is it becoming clear to you what is really going on deep within you beneath the level of your conscious understanding?

If you really do get it now, I want you to stop this video and write below, “Bingo! I get it!”

That’s essential if you are going to break free from this.

You can’t know the following that I’m about to share with you, until you get to the other side of this, but I promise you it is true.

Organically, without these traumas, you are a whole, self-generative, self-honouring person who would no sooner be connected to painful and traumatic love, than a health-conscious person would eat a greasy hamburger.

I hope that this has truly helped.

Okay, so if you have had enough of the pain, and you know it’s your time to become healthy on the inside, then that’s precisely the healing work I provide.

All you need to do to get started is click this link. 

And, if you enjoyed this video please give it a like, and share with people who you know are stuck in justifications that are keeping them bonded with people who are hurting them.

And, as always, I am so looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.



Your Biggest Breakdowns Are Your Biggest Lessons

Your Biggest Breakdowns Are Your Biggest Lessons

Believing there are ‘lessons’ to be learned from narcissistic abuse can appear to be controversial and unlikely for some people.

I used to be horrified about believing that there was ANY lesson for me in my times of terrible breakdowns.

However, when I discovered and decided to fully embrace my lesson I was able to mine the gold out of the deepest darkest time of my life.

It is my greatest wish that the information in this video can start to do the same for you too.



Video Transcript

Today’s Thriver TV episode is a truth bomb that I know can really help you.

It’s about understanding that your biggest breakdowns are in fact your biggest lessons. And I know that you may be opposed to the word “lessons” in this context.

But lessons learned are so worth it. They deliver us to a truly loving and prosperous life.

And that’s exactly what today’s TTV episode is all about.

But before we get started on this, thank you if you have subscribed to my channel. And if you haven’t yet, then please do, to become involved in supporting the Thriver Mission.

Alright, so let’s get going on today’s lesson about why our breakdowns are such incredibly valuable lessons.


The True Questions

When we don’t understand the lesson (a.k.a. the gift of the experience that we’re going through) we are stuck in questions of, “How can somebody do this?” and “How can somebody be so terrible?” But I really want you to know any question which is about “them” and is looking “out there” is not going to grant you salvation, healing or your breakthrough.

I have shared Pema Chodron’s famous quote so many times, “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know”.

Narcissistic abuse is the total experience of being in the bowels of hell, rolling around with our greatest fears and traumas feeling completely powerless and paralysed. Usually, when we try to fight back and get out of it, we find that it doesn’t work.

The narcissist escalates their behaviour. We are shocked to discover that authorities and even family and friends can’t and don’t help us. In fact, it seems like everywhere we turn the narcissist is defeating us.

Our souls and lives are being ripped to shreds.

Yet, if you start to embrace the wisdom of Pema Chodron, you will enter a dimension of a higher truth – that at a Soul level this was meant to be.

And a release from this situation will only come for you when you have learned the lesson.

How do we know what the lesson is?

The lesson can only be revealed as a result of self-partnering.

When you take your focus off the narcissist and turn inwards and self-enquire with a question such as this, “What feelings are triggering me now that represent the parts of myself that I haven’t yet healed?”

Another way to term this question is, “What trauma is this person bringing up for me, that I have previously experienced in my life?”

This question is also powerful … “As an adult I can be responsible for my own Soul and Life. Therefore, why am I still handing away my power to others so that they may grant me love, approval, security and safety?”

I know it’s really scary to look at this stuff.

At first, when I was deeply victimised, I was horrified by any questions like these, because there was no way I wanted to think I needed healing because clearly, he was the one who was completely disordered.

But what I learned, on my life-and-near death journey, was that trying to force him to be accountable or obtain justice for what he had done to me, wasn’t happening, and my efforts weren’t healing me or granting me a fabulous life.

They just kept me so stuck in the trauma that it was nearly killing me.

And I was to discover that this was EXACTLY how it was meant to be.

It was only when I let go of trying to do all of that and turned inwards to self-partner that I connected with the only power in the situation – knowing the only person I could heal and change was me.

Once orientated in this essential partnering with self, I started to come out of complete desecration and move towards profound healing. Even more incredibly than I ever believed was possible.


Because I was embracing the lesson in my breakdown.

Which was … this is happening FOR me and not TO me, to help me understand the parts of myself that I deeply need to self-partner with and heal.


Your Breakdown is Your Signal

In a world of fear and judgement, we have been conditioned to traumatise ourselves even more during the traumatic times of our breakdowns.

Rather than embracing them, to hear what they have to teach us, we try to do everything to self-avoid our painful feelings, leading to our own precarious self-abandonment.

I love these analogies which I have shared often – if you had a car and its engine was grinding you wouldn’t just keep driving it and pretend it’s not happening. Doing so would be at the peril of your motor dying.

If you had a roof that was leaking you wouldn’t ignore it, because your whole roof could cave in and destroy all of your home and belongings.

Yet, when we start to feel painful emotions and go through difficult and tumultuous experiences with others, we don’t go to the root of the problem.

Let’s go back to the car. Depending on the problem, something in the engine may need adjusting, or even replacing.

In regards to the roof, it may need some serious reinforcement so that it can have integrity again.

Identically, when we receive the signals of our painful emotions, we may have inner beliefs that require adjusting or even replacing, so that we don’t continue being enmeshed with people who hurt us.

And, it may be time to get very clear about our rights, values and limits and lay powerful boundaries which say, “No more!”

Yet, our human conditioning has been about missing the lesson. It’s been about wrestling with people and trying to change and fix them and force them into being the people who will make us feel safe, loved and happy.

By looking out at the narcissist and learning all about him or her, and not doing anything about addressing the lesson you are meant to learn for yourself, your own evolution and consequent relief is impossible.

What is the Lesson?

This is the lesson that myself and so many other Thrivers have embraced; to ultimately have a direct path through to our emancipation, liberation and freedom from abuse as well as all of the horrible symptoms that go with it, mentally, emotionally, directly and financially.

“This actually isn’t about you. You were only a catalyst. It’s about me. It’s about me becoming a self-generative force whereby I can now finally self-partner, release and heal myself. By releasing the trauma of you and my previous experiences, as well as the false beliefs that have been impregnated within me regarding myself, life and others, I will become a whole person regardless of what anybody else is or isn’t doing. Then I will no longer choose or remain with people in my life who don’t add to my self-generative wholeness. I will let them go and allow them to live life according to their own beliefs and truth. And I will be free to choose and participate with the people and situations who will add to my already established wholeness.”

That’s the entire lesson of narcissistic abuse.


How Bad Does it Have to Get?

Our soul has one grand purpose. To evolve us. To bring us home to Love and Truth. Which means releasing us from the trauma that is the human condition so that we can claim our True Self and True Life.

When you become Who You Really Are (living your life with reduced trauma) you naturally know how to generate your life in a way that works.

Our Soul and Life, acting in concert are always ingeniously generating the validity of our present existing beliefs, and supplying us with the evidence of those as per our emotions and real life events.

In essence, as Buddha famously said, “If you want to know what is going on in your inner world, look at your outer world”.

When you self-partner and go inwards to do the deep Quantum reprogramming of your Inner Being, you will start to understand that it is the painful and funky feelings on any topic in your life that are letting you know that your inner programming isn’t aligned with what you really want.

It means that you have sustained traumas that are still wedged within you, on these topics.

If we have taken on or experienced trauma in our past lives, generational histories, childhoods and as adults (they are in repeat if unhealed) then we will have absorbed the emotional beliefs of, “love equals pain”, “the people who love me hurt me”, “I am not good enough to be loved” and so much more.

These emotional beliefs generate the validity of themselves to the letter. We will choose and be chosen by the people and situations that represent them.

And this hurts, profoundly. We are ripping these traumas open over and over again and adding to them. They become increasingly compounded and toxic until we reach our breakdown.

Which is exactly what narcissistic abuse is – the highest lesson to let us know that it’s time to heal.

For myself personally, I didn’t turn inwards and start self-partnering until I nearly died. I was left with only the last bit of my Life Force. That’s how bad it got for me. It’s my greatest desire and mission to help other people turn inwards to heal before it gets to that point.

Because it’s not easy to come back from that.


How to Apply the Lesson

The first step is to accept that this is happening “for” you and not “to” you. This is the opportunity to let go of the false person and false life that you have been living with him or her.

Your subconscious is a powerful generator that organises the trillions of chemical and electrical processes in your body that keep you healthy and alive. These are things that your logical brain can’t comprehend let alone execute.

It’s important to understand that this almighty powerhouse is directing your life, beneath the conscious surface of what you know as your reality. Your connections, attractions, interactions, and manifestations are a direct hit of your inner belief systems, on any given topic.

There truly is nothing else to do, if you want to heal for real, other than face and release every inner part of you that is inflicted with the beliefs that match the trauma this person is bringing to your life.

The absolute truth is this – the narcissist is the living evidence of your already existing internal traumas.

I want you to know that being impregnated with trauma is not your fault.

It’s an unfortunate, sad and brutal part of the human experience. Our ancestors carried an enormous amount of trauma. We were brought up by people who were still holding onto their own unresolved trauma. As children, we had no resources to be able to release ourselves from trauma, let alone extricate ourselves from the people who delivered it to us.

But as adults, we can take power back. We can accept the lesson. We can make good of it.

We can fight the good fight.

We can emerge victorious from these old breakdowns, by taking the lesson and turning it into the grandest newest breakthrough that we’ve ever experienced.

And we can lead the way for others and our future generations to do so as well.

The following is the glory of this lesson – one person at a time, we can heal, and change humanity in our world.

And, now, as a result of Quantum Tools, it is totally possible for us to do so. No longer does healing from narcissistic abuse have to take years or decades. We have a straight-line path to be able to achieve it now.

If this episode deeply resonates with you, I can put you in direct contact with how to actualise your breakthrough today.

You can do this by clicking this link.

So, to sign off, I hope that this truth today, as hard as it is, has helped truly set you free.

And as always I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.



How Do Narcissists Treat Their New Supply?

How Do Narcissists Treat Their New Supply?



When a narcissist replaces you, it may be so excruciatingly painful that you feel like you’re going to die.

You may wonder, “Are they in love?”

And, “Is it possible for them to have a successful relationship together?”

This Thriver TV episode will grant you some much-needed relief, truth, and perspective about all of this as you discover the real truth of how a narcissist will treat the new supply.




Video Transcript

It is so painful, initially, to be replaced.

Excruciatingly painful!

It may even be so painful that you feel like you are dying. I promise you I understand, I’ve been there!

And, of course, you may be agonising wondering how the narcissist is treating the new Supply. Are they happy as a couple? Is there a possibility that this relationship can really work?

I’m going to answer these questions and many more in today’s Thriver TV episode.

But before I do, I’d like to thank you if you have subscribed to my channel for supporting the Thriver Mission. If you haven’t yet subscribed, please do. And if you enjoy this video please remember to click the like button.

Alright, let’s dive into today’s episode.


The Honeymoon Period

Narcissists love bomb.

In the pursuit of narcissistic supply, narcissists are over the top. They get off on exclamations of desire, piling on the compliments, and incredible gestures of care and gifts.

From the outside, it can appear to be about “love” or even “infatuation”. Infatuation is definitely a lot closer to the mark than love, yet the reason why narcissists go after new Supply so convincingly is not at all romantic.

It’s purely about securing an object to self-medicate with.

I know that this can be a bitter pill to swallow, yet it’s very helpful to understand the truth of what our relationship with the narcissist was, to not have any envy about their future relationship(s).

It’s not personal – the way that narcissists objectify people as a source of supply. It’s not because these people are unlovable, rather it is because the narcissist is not capable of genuine love.

Genuine love is not about securing people as a supply source to be used. Genuine love, from one healthy adult to another, is about sharing power and love and granting care, affection and love without an agenda.

As beautiful and attentive and caring as the narcissist appears to be, there is a deep, dark agenda attached, which is, “you are being groomed so that I can secure you in order to prop up my False Self and help me survive my inner gnawing emptiness. You mean no more than this.”

Yes, things can look incredible between a new loved-up narcissistic couple on social media, and even from what you hear via other people. And the narcissist may cruelly tell you how in love they are with this new person.

But it will only be for a certain period of time.

Many people like to keep up pretences. Certainly, narcissists live within fictitious scripts, and even partners of narcissists are usually in denial of how things have switched and become so awful. They were so convinced and convincing of others that this person was their “soul-mate” that it becomes hugely shameful to admit that this is not the case.

Before you go through your Thriver Healing journey, you may stalk the two of them on social media, or ask other people about them, trying to find out if their relationship is working or if the cracks have appeared.

I want you to know from the bottom of my heart the following: there is no salvation or healing in this pursuit.

It is complete and utter Wrong Town, that will keep you stuck in the trauma and won’t allow you to be released from it.

The irony is, no physical or logical evidence is going to give you relief from this. The only relief that comes is from your healing within yourself, to find, release and reprogram the original wounds within you that have been keeping you trauma bonded to the narcissist.

It’s also really important to find and release and reprogram the extreme trauma that goes with being replaced.

One day, this is exactly the path the new Supply will need to take for his or her own healing. Because this person is extremely likely to be discarded and replaced just as you were.

It’s quite incredible, how in this community, there have been Thrivers narcissistically abused by the same narcissist, who are now wonderful friends within the community healing with NARP!


The Fall From Grace

This is how it goes with all narcissists and their new partners – the initial honeymoon period of love bombing idealisation starts to crack.

You see, at the beginning, the narcissist childishly declares that this person is the “best thing since sliced bread”. He or she to the narcissist is the shiniest, most incredible new Supply. This feeds the narcissist’s ego monstrously, granting them a massive hit of narcissistic supply.

But this is not based in reality. Sooner or later this person is not going to fulfil the narcissist’s insecure ego continually. When the high levels of initial narcissistic supply start to decrease, the narcissist will start feeling the familiar feelings of inner anxiety and rage again.

Narcissists always project these self-annihilating inner feelings onto somebody else and make them that person’s fault. Intimate love partners are common targets. They are also easy targets when the narcissist has secured this person as narcissistic supply. We hang around for the abuse.

So, just as it happened to you, the new partner is going to start becoming terribly confused and shocked when this previously “perfect” and “adorable” person starts to get sullen, moody and even inappropriate with their behaviour and comments.

This is the beginning of the devaluing cycle. And, as soon as the new partner starts to question it, not bow to it, and no longer grants the compliments, admiration, sex or adoration that they previously were supplying, the “iffy” comments will escalate to becoming more severe and devastating, and even lead into the discard phase.

The narcissist may say that he or she is having second thoughts. Or withdraw the commitment. Or choose some other action, display or tactic to create incredible fear and confusion for the new source of supply.

The narcissist may even decide to punish the new Supply by trying to hook up with you, the old Supply, and create a horrible triangulation situation.

All of this is incredibly common. In fact, it is usual for narcissists to do this. Don’t take it as a compliment if he or she hasn’t done this. It’s certainly not a compliment to be treated as an object for somebody’s self-serving soulless agendas, just as it is not a compliment to be used as a punishment tool against somebody else at whim, only to be discarded again.


The Cycle of Violence

Drama is what narcissistic relationships are all about.

The more compliant and gentle the new supply is, the less drama will be visible to all. However, the drama will still take place. The more triggered and reactionary the new Supply is, the more the cracks will be apparent, and the relationship is likely to go through many breakups as well as many episodes of reuniting.

That is until the new Supply is completely clear and free of any desire or compulsion to reconnect with the narcissist, or the narcissist has mined them to the point of complete brokenness and decided that there is nothing more to gain.

The same goes for all narcissistic relationships.

Even if the partner is quiet and compliant and keeping the home fires burning while the narcissist is being a narcissist, which means being selfish, loose, unaccountable and reckless, the narcissist is still likely to take them through the cycles of idealisation, devalue and discard.

Idealisation happens when the new Supply is leaving or has had enough, and the narcissist needs to hoover him or her back into the relationship to retain narcissistic supply. Such as for the convenience of what this person does for them – providing the veneer of the perfect life or to keep paying the bills and mopping up the messes, etc.

Or, the narcissist is charming them in order to manipulate them into handing something over.

Further into the relationship, the devaluing happens virtually at all other times, when not needing to idealise. This is because the narcissist is constantly suffering the horrific inner emotional traumas regarding themselves, needing to project them onto the new Supply.

Then the discarding happens to punish the new Supply for not appeasing the False Self adequately (which of course is impossible to do).

The discarding could even be done on the side, allowing the narcissist to feel vindicated for being treated “so badly”, by taking lovers, prostitutes, or seeking sexual supply from past partners or even friends of the new Supply.

The new Supply may know nothing about this.

And, to the outside world, all may seem well.

Unless you are living within the four walls of their homes, you really have no idea how other people’s lives are actually going.


Your Healing In All of This

You may be focusing much of your energy on what is going on between the narcissist and the new Supply. I understand this. Before my Thriver Healing journey I did this myself.

The trauma from this is horrific. If you are honest with yourself you know how rank this feels in your body. You know how much this is draining your life force and making it almost impossible for you to function.

When the traumas in your body are screaming at you, they’re telling you that you are adding to them and not healing them.

I promise you this … when you let go, and take on your healing journey with NARP, you will start to emerge from this with incredible relief and know there is nothing here to envy.

No money, lifestyle or even privileges are worth anyone’s soul being desecrated.

The love that you thought you should have received, that possibly this person is now getting from the narcissist, does not exist!

There is nothing real to gain or have!

And please know, you are further along your evolutionary path than the new Supply. You are in the prime position to turn inwards and heal, so that you can claim your True Self and True Life.

The new Supply still has to wait for this relationship to finally blow up into pieces that simply cannot be put back together, or to drag themselves out of there shaking and quaking and barely alive.

Or, they stay, and get their soul sucked out of them.

The best thing you can do for you, and for all people who have been through narcissistic abuse, is to claim your healing, and become a shining force of inspiration for those who are still stuck, if they seek you out.

Which is exactly what myself and other Thrivers in this community do.

I hope that this has helped and inspired you to heal for real from this.

If this video has helped grant you relief, I’d love to hear from you about how it has helped, by pausing this video and writing to me below.

So, if you have had enough of the agony of wondering about the narcissist and the new Supply and going through the crippling feelings of that, it could be time for you to start healing with NARP.

You can check out NARP by clicking this link.

I really hope that this video has given you the hope that there is a way to get out of this trauma.

So, if you enjoyed this video, please hit the like button. And remember to share it with people who you know are terrorised by the narcissist moving on to a new partner.

If you would like to be notified each time I release a new video, please remember to subscribe.

And, as always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.



Life With The Narcissist Was Never Meant To Be

Life With The Narcissist Was Never Meant To Be


Ending a relationship with the narcissist can be devastating for your heart and soul.

I completely understand, because once upon a time, I felt this pain so significantly that I thought I would never recover.

The reason was that I was completely convinced that this relationship was meant to be – it wasn’t! Today, I know a completely different truth.

A truth, that ended up being even more gratifying, fulfilling and incredibly revolutionary for me.

I hope that the information that I share with you, will help set you free into relief, and your power and glory as well.



Video Transcript

I know that being with the narcissist can feel so right!

And, the struggle in these relationships is so gut-wrenching and confusing, because this person feels “so meant to be”.

Yet, I promise you that this is NOT the truth.

And, rather than this being such a devastation and disappointment to you, it is my deepest wish that today’s Thriver TV episode brings you incredible relief and freedom instead.

As well as the power to be able to let go and move on into your True Self and Life.

Okay, so before I get into this really important information, I’d like to thank all of you who have subscribed to my channel for supporting the Thriver mission. And remind you, if you haven’t yet done so, please do. Also, make sure that if you like this video that you give it a thumbs up.

Okay, so now let’s get started on this episode.


Why Does the Bond Feel “So Right”?

In many ways, the connection in the journey with the narcissist was meant to be (I’ll explain more about this later) … but this doesn’t mean that this person was supposed to LAST in your life.

It also doesn’t mean that you were meant to succeed in creating a healthy, happy and safe relationship with this person.

Relationships are such a powerful contextual field. The greatest lessons, evolution, and healing that we will ever experience, absolutely happens with people who are impactful in our life.

This may be a parent, or some other significant family member, such as a sibling who we would dearly love to have a beautiful relationship with.

Narcissists come in many shapes and forms, including intimate partners and spouses, as well as impactful people like business partners or bosses or even friends.

Or the narcissist may be someone who intimidates us, such as an authority figure or even a neighbour.

One thing is for sure, this person is not someone who we can easily dismiss, walk away from or just “get over”. Generally, narcissistic abuse comes with lots of entanglement, pain and heartbreak as well as the fear of repercussions.

Often, there is a lot on the line.

And, it is incredibly normal, when entangled with a narcissist to have the feeling that this is “meant to be”. That somehow you are meant to make things right and fix this relationship.

Or, your life will be impossible if you somehow don’t sort this out. It may be because you feel there is so much to lose if you don’t; all the things that you have worked so hard for all of your life, your property, resources, children, or the hope of love that you always believed that you could or should be receiving from this person.

Your connection to the narcissist may be fraught with necessity, obligation and responsibility. Or just downright fear.

But does this mean that the issues are meant to be brought to reconciliation with this person?

Or, really, is this journey forcing us to be released from our fears and limitations and truly anchor into honouring our own soul, regardless of what somebody else is or isn’t doing?


Your Inner Truth

We have been taught to assess our life logically. To look at our goals and what it is that we wish to achieve and then generate that life with the available resources that we have in life.

Maybe that is what you have been trying to do with the narcissist.

You may be trying to make this person act sanely, sensibly and decently. You may be lecturing and prescribing to them and trying to assert boundaries and even hold this person accountable.

Yet the twists and lies continue to abuse you and break you and your life apart.

When this happens, your Inner Being starts to disintegrate.

Which means that emotionally you become a wreck. You start to experience anxiety and depression, and even panic attacks triggered by not knowing what is going to happen next.

You are also battling the fact that somehow, it’s all spun back on you and made out to be your fault.

And, like myself (as well as all of us) realising the insanity of trying to make sense of this, whilst trying to explain fundamental basic human decency to someone who refuses to “get it”, is mental.

It’s also intensely emotional. We get sick. We break down. And then everything in our life that matters, as well as the people we love, start to break down as well.

Is it worth it?

Of course, it isn’t, and deep down, if we are honest with ourselves, we know this. Yet, it can feel impossible to let go of the belief that somehow we are meant to work this out, and/or “this is meant to be”.

I really want you to know, as compelling as this feels, it is not the truth. Your mind would love it to be the truth because this is the version of life that you’ve decided needs to be fulfilled, yet your Inner Being is screaming at you to wake up to just how traumatic and wrong this is.

I promise you that the truth of your life is coming from your emotional Inner Being. That is the part of you that is your God Self. It is your truth. Your truth is not what your mind would like it to be. And, until you start the self-partnering journey of healing from the inside out, as a Thriver Recovery, you may not have realised, yet, how true this is.

I know I certainly didn’t.


Are Other People Supposed to Grant us Safety, Love and Happiness?

I was determined and incredibly focused on fixing my marriage and making what I had convinced myself was “meant to be”, work.

I believed he was meant to love me. I believed he was meant to get well, treat me well, and be the man who I had decided was needed for me to be safe, loved and happy.

I was wrong.

I was horribly wrong.

And I hadn’t realised until my Thriver Recovery, that this had been a false premise that I have been hanging onto my entire life – that certain people needed to be a certain way, and treat me in a certain fashion in order for me to be happy and whole.

I hadn’t realised that this had caused me to hand my power away, so many times, in many areas of my life. In business, friendships, family relationships and even with authorities, as well as drastically in love relationships.

I had been defining myself from people outside of myself, rather than truly knowing how to be self-definitive and self-generative within myself.

And the reason, I hadn’t as yet “got it” was because my relationship with me wasn’t as yet healed.

As soon as I started to turn inwards to attend to the loving and the healing of my screaming, traumatised Inner Being back to wholeness, the entire truth started to drop into place.

As well as the reclaiming of myself, whereby I knew that he wasn’t meant to be my saviour. He was my messenger, forcing me to become my own healer and saviour.

Then, finally, everything in my life started to become healthy, safe and happy.


Your True Life After Narcissistic Abuse

I really want to share with you what your True Life looks like, and what is possible if you detach from the narcissist, turn inwards and start doing your Thriver Healing.

It is a life where you are connected to yourself deciding who and what is a match for you from the truth of your Inner Being, rather than looking out at people regarding who you should be or how you should behave.

You are able to be authentic, truthful and firmly grounded in what is or isn’t right for you.

Plus, you can back yourself enough to have the courage to speak up, have the difficult conversations, ask for clarification where necessary, and risk people not agreeing with you, or liking you as your authentic self.

Then, no more are you rolling around with disrespectful, painful and abusive people trying to get them to love and accept you or provide you with security or survival.

You can wake up every day of your life feeling safe in your body, safe in life and excited about being able to healthily make your choices, as well as have the inner solidness and integrity to know how to disengage, let go and walk away from those and that which doesn’t match your truth and limits.

The beauty of your True Self and Life is that it is no longer precariously poised on what a certain person is or isn’t doing, regardless of who this person is and “who” they are supposed to be in your life.

Rather it is being generated from WHO you are Being.

What you will discover, as a result of having a congruent, authentic and honest relationship with yourself, is that your life itself starts becoming congruent and aligned with the truth of you.

Your relationships up-level, they become anchored in honesty, integrity and care.

Your missions, purpose and opportunities increase.

Synchronicity starts to partner with you authentically. You’re in the right place at the right time and open to new possibilities.

You are so much more able to easily avoid the wrong turns in your life because no longer are you trying to turn crumbs into cookies.

You have expanded and opened up to a plenty and an abundance mindset, rather than a poverty and limited consciousness.

I can’t tell you the release you will experience when you will finally burst free into this trajectory that is your True Self.

I want you to know, with all my heart, that it was my recovery from narcissistic abuse that delivered me to that place.

Without having had been brought to my knees, and forced to release my traumas, limitations and previous abuse patterns, I would never have arrived there.

Because up until then, I had never had to face and heal these things.

This is what Thriver Recovery is all about; it is about meeting and releasing the trauma that has been horrifically triggered within you, to finally go free from it.

That is when you will know how “meant to be” this journey is.

If you understand what I’m sharing with you in this episode, I want you to pause this video and write “The truth of why this was meant to be, has set me free!”


In Conclusion

I absolutely validate that you are initially going to be feeling the incredible pain, heartbreak and even intense addiction to the narcissist.

And, I want you to know that these hideous, all-consuming feelings are so common with narcissistic abuse.

But, I also want you to know that there is a true healing solution for them that will grant you relief and clarity and power very quickly if you dedicate yourself to your Thriver Recovery.

In my free webinar, I can connect you to exactly how to achieve this, as well as allow you to experience a Quanta Freedom Healing directly in your body, to understand how this profound healing system can work for you.

I invite you to connect to my free webinar by clicking this link.

So, I really hope that this episode has explained to you what is really meant to be as a result of your connection to the narcissist.

Namely, you finally coming home to yourself.

And I can’t wait to help you get on this trajectory.

Okay, so, if you liked this video, please hit the like button and also share it with the people who you know need this information.

Also, if you want to see more of my new episodes please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released.

And, as always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.



How I Deal With Triggers

How I Deal With Triggers


It’s really normal to not enjoy your emotional triggers – after all, they are painful!

Nearly all of us were told to “think about something else” and try to distract ourselves from them.

However, after experiencing the extreme trauma of abuse and toxic relationships, it’s not that simple to do.

Many of us, myself included, have had the absolute breakdown experience of so many crippling emotional triggers that life simply can’t go on as it used to.

This is why it is my absolute pleasure to share with you exactly how I deal with my triggers, so that I can inspire you to come up and out of pain, and be delivered to the other side too!



Video Transcript

Today I want to deeply share with you how I deal with my emotional triggers.

And this is really important because it is our triggers, which are handing us our salvation.

Mind you, it took me decades of pain to work this out. Before then, as a result of trying to avoid my triggers, I was forever stuck in emotional fear, pain and reaction and the ongoing traumatising events that were my life.

Thank goodness I discovered that there is a completely different way to deal with this! A way that works, and it is my absolute joy to share that with you today.

But before I do, I’d like to thank you for subscribing to my channel and supported the Thriver Mission. If you haven’t as yet done so, please do. And, if you enjoy this video, please make sure you give it a thumbs up.

Okay, let’s dive into today’s episode!


The Old Consensus About Emotional Triggers

Human conditioning has taught us to try to ignore and escape any painful emotional trigger. Meaning if we feel dense or painful energy inside our body, to try to do everything possible to get away from that feeling.

Many of us had the messages, since being very young of, “Try not to think about it!” Or we were talked out of our bad feelings, by people who also were experts at talking themselves out of their own bad feelings, and therefore did not have the capacity to validate ours.

Yet, we know that when we are told to ignore what we feel or to pick up some distraction, or what we are feeling isn’t true for us, that this doesn’t feel good.

Life experience has also shown us that the inner bad feelings usually keep coming back.

It’s so interesting now when I introduce people to the Thriver Way to heal for real from abuse, they may initially feel horrified about turning inwards to self-partner and meet their feelings.

And why wouldn’t they, after being indoctrinated into believing that emotional triggers should be avoided at all cost!

Even Law of Attraction principles declare that the way through to a happy and healthy life is to ignore the bad feelings and just focus on the good and try to create new neuropathways as a result of doing that.

Many of us, who tried gallantly to achieve this, found out that the painful triggers, that were often in repeat, didn’t go away no matter how hard we tried to think our way out of them.

And, what was extremely painful was that the triggers would often explode from inside of us at random times. They may have caused us to hand power away to other people because of being derailed emotionally. They may have caused us to lash out at people who we love simply because we were feeling overwhelmed within ourselves.

Also, they could make the creation, expansion, and solution of our life incredibly difficult for us because we are continually plagued by painful feelings that are taking up all our energy trying to survive them.

Then, of course, we have to come up with even more extreme strategies to try to escape the inner pain that is going off inside of us, especially after suffering the incredible trauma of narcissistic abuse.

When you are suffering the triggers of feeling anxiety, depression, powerlessness, helplessness, or even panic attacks, until you learn how to handle your triggers in a self-partnered way, you are susceptible to trying to find something outside of yourself to try to switch the trigger off.

This could mean that you go for food, cigarettes, alcohol, shopping, excessive device time, hooking up with people who hurt you, and all sorts of unhealthy and even desperate measures to try to get out of the pain.

It’s only when you get in your body and can be present healthily with your triggers that this can stop.


Turning it Around By Turning in

It wasn’t until I experienced my complete breakdown/breakthrough experience with narcissistic abuse, and being left with my shattered Inner Being, without any outer props left to go to, that I started to get a grasp on the truth of this.

I needed to turn inwards.

And so I did, with this declaration, “Inner Being I am here for you and I am never deserting you again”.

I realised my emotional triggers, which were the signals of my inner traumas, had become “my normal” but this was in no way natural. It’s not who I really was as my True Self.

It’s not our fault that we have had so many traumas impregnated into us from the outside – our past lives, our ancestors, childhoods, and the human collective experience of limiting painful beliefs about gender, age, race, religion or whatever it may be.

And of course, people who were dealing with their own extreme levels of trauma. Hurt people hurt people.

Trauma, sadly, is a part of the human experience. We have all been infected to some degree.

After being narcissistically abused the trauma within you is activated to such an extreme level that it reaches critical mass. At this point life simply cannot go on as normal, and it is virtually impossible to be able to cognitively think our way out of the pain.

Often, researching and learning all we can about abusers and our abuse symptoms will not ease it either.

When I turned inwards, I discovered so many painful fractures that were programmed beliefs and painful emotional experiences, in regard to myself, life and others.

The truth was I did not feel safe in my body, and this was the battle with anxiety, depression, and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.

How on earth can we feel good in our body after experiencing significant trauma? How can we feel safe?

Even before I developed the profound inner healing tools of Quanta Freedom Healing (NARP) to heal myself, I started to understand that rather than try to get relief from the outside, that the only true relief needed to be between me and myself.

I learnt to say to myself, “I bless and accept this feeling”.

I want you to imagine having an emotional trigger go off inside you, and rather than abandon yourself by trying to disconnect from it, or blaming yourself for having it, I want you to open your heart and breathe and say to yourself “I bless and accept this feeling”.

Now feel the effects of that in your body.

It would be usual for you to start feeling some relief because your Inner Being heaves a sigh of relief knowing that you have finally showed up for him or her.

The illusion is that your Inner Being has wanted something or somebody else to take away the pain, but your Inner Being has actually been waiting for you to turn inwards to self-partner and integrate and love him or her back to wholeness, all along.

Being willing to do this, and validate the feeling as being blessed and something that you accept starts to reverse all of those beliefs that we’ve taken on from our forebears – that our feelings are invalid and not deserving of our attention and love, which really means that we have been deemed invalid.

I hope you understand that your emotional inner state is Who You Are.

It’s where your entire life is being generated from. Hence, in order to get life right, this part of you requires your devotion and self-partnering.


Why Are Triggers So Fantastic?

You may think that I’m crazy by saying triggers are fantastic!

Yet, I know, 100% that they are.

I now know that all of my triggers are happening “for” me, and not “to” me. What I mean by this is when a trigger goes off inside of me, this is the signal that allows me to know that a part of me is not aligned with my desires, my True Self and my Soul’s True Destiny.

It’s like a GPS signal that is telling me I’m off course.

And I love this, even though once upon a time, of course, I detested it!

Since being aligned with my Thriver Life and having the profound Quantum Tool, Quanta Freedom Healing (NARP) I’ve been supremely dedicated to addressing the triggers that arise within my Inner Being, and loading them up and releasing and freeing myself from them.

This has allowed me to release my subconscious from those old painful programs, and replace them with my superconscious self, which is my highest potential on any topic, by bringing that down into the space where the old trauma once was.

This system of healing, completely bypasses the mind which tries to work it all out (usually unsuccessfully) and creates a shift somatically in our visceral emotional centre, in such a way that it doesn’t have to be understood logically in order to be experienced.

What I discovered is that when the trigger is gone, a resounding peace replaces it.

And this “thing” that I’ve been struggling with, regarding myself, people, situations or events, starts to heal and resolve.

I also discovered that the most incredible synchronicities, opportunities, and even miracles start to appear that completely match the positive shift that I’ve just had in my body.

This I know with every ounce of my being; that the composition of our Inner Being is directly connected with all of the resources of life that are entering our experience, as our experience.

When we shift, it shifts.

When your Beingness is changed, you have changed. This is so much more effective than trying to think your way into a new way of Being.

My everyday experience, before self-partnering with my triggers, was trying to negate painful feelings in my body, with all sorts of personal development. This was only at best managing my still existing trauma, and not healing it.

And when my efforts would slip, my addictions would start to take over. All of this was exhausting, especially because I was still battling ferociously the evidence of my unhealed triggers that were coming to me via people and situations.

Since discovering and working with the truth about triggers – “I bless and accept you as a signal of something that I can shift, release and replace in order to go up to the next higher level of my True Self” my life experience has changed beyond description.

I hope you are really getting this.

Okay, once again, when imagining having a trigger going off inside, I want you to repeat the declaration after me. Let’s say this together … “I bless and accept you as a signal of something that I can shift, release and replace in order to go up to the next higher level of my True Self”.

How does that feel in your body?

Does it feel like relief? Does it feel like truth?

I want you to pause this video and write how it feels for you below.

Okay, so I really want you to know that I totally validate that at the start of your narcissistic abuse recovery journey there are lots of triggers to address.

Initially, there is a lot of work to do to release and reprogram your Inner Being from intense toxic trauma that is making it difficult for you to function. This is why having an effective tool to be able to meet, hold, load up, release and replace your triggers certainly makes it so much easier.

If everything that I’ve talked about today resonates deeply with you, you can get your true healing journey started by clicking this link. 

So, I hope this video made sense to you, regarding a new, empowering and radically transformative way to work with your triggers, and please share with the people who you know it could help.

As always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.



How To Rebuild Your Life After Narcissistic Abuse (No Matter How Much You’ve Lost)

How To Rebuild Your Life After Narcissistic Abuse (No Matter How Much You’ve Lost)


There are so many losses after narcissistic abuse.  It can be daunting to lose yourself, your health, family and friends as well as resources and finances.

Today, I share how to rebuild your self, health, important relationships and financial prosperity after narcissistic abuse.

Regardless of how old you are, how damaged you feel, how much you have lost and even if you believe that recovery and rebuild is impossible.

I promise you it is possible when you know how.



Video Transcript

Losses are extreme with narcissistic abuse.

Loss of health, life force, resources, prosperity, and the energy, inspiration and hope to go forward and generate a new future.

I know how devastating this is, and I promise you I’ve been there on all these levels.

However, I want you to know there is a way to rebuild your life after narcissistic abuse. Myself, and so many others in this Thriver Community have achieved this spectacularly, against all odds and even despite so-called unhealable medical diagnoses.

By watching this video hopefully, I can inspire you to know that there is a wonderful life available for you after narcissistic abuse, no matter how much you have lost.

Today, we are going to look deeply at the different losses and how you can rebuild from them.

But before we do, I’d like to thank all of you who have supported the Thriver mission by subscribing to my channel. If you haven’t yet, please do. Also make sure that you hit the like button, and if you enjoy this video, share with others who you know it can help.

Okay so on to this episode!


Loss Of Self

After narcissistic abuse it is usual to feel like you’ve lost your life-force and your well-being.
You may even believe your life is over, and can’t imagine what it would feel like to be normal or healthy again.

Of course, initially we want things to change in our circumstances, such as the narcissist to be held accountable, or for some good fortune to turn everything around, or even for a wonderful person to come into our life to pick us up and save us from all of this trauma and devastation.

Maybe you just want to wake up from the nightmare that has become your life.

But the truth is no one is coming, and your Inner Being, which is the foundational basis of your entire life, is waiting for you to turn inwards and be your own rescuer.

And of course, initially you feel like you don’t have the health, sanity or inner resources to save yourself.

Yet, the total irony is we can’t recover and rebuild ourselves until we do turn inwards with the intention to be our own saviour.

Self-partnering is vital.

In fact, it’s crucial.

And the reason it is, is because it puts you back inside your body.

You may think that the anxiety, depression and trauma is a result of what has happened to you. Yes it is, however, it is continuing and not being resolved, if you don’t turn inwards to meet these conditions and heal yourself back to wholeness.

That is exactly what self-partnering is about, and it is the very first essential step of Thriver Recovery. In fact, it’s what the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) is all about – learning how to turn inwards to find, load up, and release all of the trauma that is generating your trauma and abuse symptoms, and replacing this with your Highest Source, which creates the shift to heal you.

This process can’t happen without self-partnering.

As a result of self-partnering, you will organically start shifting into the knowing that you are lovable and worthy, and as an adult capable of generating your own security and survival.

This is when the prior abuse trauma from the narcissist and the narcissist’s attempts to derail and terrorise you will all melt away.

I promise you that these capacities don’t come from outside of you, they need to be healed up from inside of you.

By doing so you will evolve beyond the fractures, trauma, and anxiety of having handed your power away to abusive people who did not have your best interests at heart.


Loss Of People

Inevitably, as a result of narcissistic abuse, relationships in your life may get smashed to pieces.

It is horrifying how narcissists have the ability to smear you, discredit you and turn people in your life against you. You may have lost family members, friends, associates and maybe even been alienated from your own children.

I know that this is beyond cruel, and my heart goes out to you if you have experienced these dreadful things.

And I really want to inspire you to know that staying stuck in the terrible trauma and victimisation will only mean that these circumstances can’t shift in your life.

It is completely understandable why you would be stuck in these feelings, and I totally validate you in that place, but there is a much more effective solution and way to deal with this.

With myself, and so many other people that I have helped achieve true healing with NARP, we discovered that when we released the trauma of these terrible injustices, smearing and alienation that we suffered, our Inner Being shifted, and then the outer started to shift to match this.

This is how powerful we are – we are Quantum Creators from the inside out.

People come back. The narcissist gets caught out. Loved ones return.

All sorts of miracles happen. I promise you this with all my heart.

There are numerous people in this community who have been reunited with people and their children who they were alienating from (some for decades), as a result of letting go of all the pain, resentment and heartbreak with NARP modules.

The complete and utter irony is, when you are at peace and only feel love in your heart without pain regardless of the outer circumstances, that’s when the outer circumstances powerfully shift.

This is the secret to changing our life, including our most important relationships. When we use Quantum Tools to achieve this, it becomes powerfully possible.


Health Losses

So many of us have been devastated by terrible health conditions as a result of narcissistic abuse. Trauma creates this. Eventually, not just your emotions break down, but also your physical being.

I know so many people, myself included, who were given shocking diagnoses as a result of the breakdowns of narcissistic abuse. So many of us were told that our emotional, adrenal, or mental breakdowns as well as PTSD, fibromyalgia, adrenal malfunctions and nervous system disorders, such as agoraphobia, could never be truly healed and at best, we could only hope to manage them with medication and strategies.

This is not true recovery; this is simply trying to exist with the trauma generated symptoms of abuse still active within you.

Now myself, and so many others, know that there is a true recovery solution for our abuse symptoms. Namely, releasing the trauma from within your Inner Being that is generating these symptoms.

When you do this, you allow well being to enter the space where the dis-ease once was, and you have the ultimate potential to get well.

Maybe, even more well than you have been in your entire life, even before abuse.

This is the resurrection that is totally possible for you … truly.

Myself and so many others have achieved this, fully. We no longer suffer any narcissistic abuse trauma symptoms.


Financial Losses

A big part of narcissistic abuse is financial abuse. It is a widespread devastation in this Community.

So many people ask, “How DO I get over the financial abuse?”, “How can I leave when I am financially dependent on the narcissist?” and “How will I ever rebuild my life again?”

Financial abuse can be a dreadful injury in our life, and I promise you it was initially a massive challenge for me. Originally, I just wanted to somehow get up off the ground and rebuild what I lost. But the more I tried to do that, without facing my inner healing, the more powerless I felt.

I just didn’t have what it took to get up and get going again, and I wasn’t meant to. Because the time had come where I needed to deeply investigate and heal the reasons why I had suffered such financial devastation at the hands of abusers.

Something incredible happened when I started to clean that up. I felt relief, I felt wholeness inside that was no longer reliant on me having to have a certain thing or be a certain way.

It was just an organic peace. And from that place, with newly formed and anchored-in belief systems regarding my ability to be a generator of prosperity, with all of the healthy components of life, I started to blossom.

I was able to start actualising a rebuild from complete and total financial devastation. Solutions and assistance came. Support came. Opportunities and synchronicity and even miracles started entering my life granting me the abundance that I was already feeling in regard to loving and accepting myself unconditionally, regardless of what I did or didn’t have in my life.

I have seen so many Thrivers in this community rebuild their lives financially after narcissistic abuse, as a result of releasing and healing their internal financial traumas with NARP.

Many of these people were in midlife and beyond. Some of them had not worked for decades, and were even left with zero finances or shocking debt as a result of the abuse.

Yet, they were able to come back in ways and timeframes that were astounding, once the trauma was released and Life Force, in abundance, was able to flow through them as them.

And I know, as a result of deeply working on your Inner Being with my Quantum Tools in NARP, that you will have exactly the same opportunity to turn it all around.


How Our Losses Are Deeply Interconnected

I completely and utterly believe that a relationship with self, health, others, and finances is all deeply interconnected.

To holistically become healthy, whole, self-generative and flourished and nourished by Life Force itself, as well as being able to abundantly expand and express our mission and purpose on this planet, all of these areas of our life require our inner attention.

These are the four areas that we commonly experience grave loss in as a result of narcissistic abuse, and the good news is that we can directly address them to heal them beyond description.

You see, there is an incredible radical compensation that occurs after narcissistic abuse, when we turn inwards, to claim and activate the healing of Self. What wasn’t right, resets to becoming healthier than we could ever imagine in our wildest dreams.

That is the Thriver Way!

And I can’t wait for this to be your Thriver reality as well.

If this is what you want for you, take the stand with me by pausing this video and writing below “It is my time to reclaim my self, soul and life!”

Okay, so now, you can check out my NARP program, that will activate deep healing for you, by clicking this link.

If you haven’t yet subscribed, I’d love you to please do it, so that you will be notified about each new episode when it is released.

Please also share this video with the people who you know have experienced terrible loss as a result of narcissistic abuse. The people who you know need hope and a solution.

And as always I look forward to answering your comments and your questions below.