I’m so delighted to introduce Anita, one of the bravest and strongest members of our Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program.
I have known Anita for a couple of years now, as a student of mine as well as a program member. And it has been an absolute honour and joy to witness her journey through the incredible traumas she has faced.
For many of you, it may be difficult to imagine what Anita has lived through. She has endured an abusive relationship with her narcissistic mother and has gone through the incredibly tumultuous and painful experience of a divorce with a narcissist.
But not only did she survive… she excelled in the face of it all. She and her dream team of lawyers achieved a powerful court case win despite enduring multiple obstacles.
So, to begin her story, let’s start with her narcissistic mother. All of it exploded in 2020 when Anita had been stuck in quarantine in Guatemala. She got back home, and two weeks in, her mother passed away from a stroke. Of course, this was a traumatic experience for Anita, but it was also made so much worse by what her mother did in her will.
It took Anita a while before she could understand why this was. With the help of an incredibly dear friend who saw through the situation, Anita got the NARP Gold package and dove right in.
Despite not quite understanding what NARP was or what it was doing, Anita went through it. And it was through it that she had a breakdown that enabled all the memories of her ritualistic abuse to return. For almost an entire year, she was in the valley of the shadow of death, feeling sick to her bones all the time and wanting to die every second.
But from here, something amazing happened. Anita started to use NARP to shift her life in her favour. She shifted her focus towards her trauma and set her mind to creating the optimal conditions for a successful court case.
Through trial and error, she eventually found the right mix of shifts to honour her values and truths. And it’s what separates her from most “victims”… she was unafraid of fighting back and honing her power – through her shifts – to reclaim her life and legal victory!
Video Transcript
Mel:
Welcome, dear friends, to this Thriver TV story. If you have not yet subscribed to my YouTube channel, please do so, and I’d love for you to share my work with others who need it.
And I have the absolute joy and pleasure of introducing Anita, one of the bravest people I’ve ever met. She’s a dear friend.
I’ve known her for a couple of years as a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program member. She’s also been a student of mine, and I just love her to pieces. And Anita, thank you for coming forward and sharing your story.
Anita:
Well, thank you for inviting me, Mel. It’s a real honour. Thank you.
Mel:
And I know, Anita, that there are so many details of your story from the narcissistic mum, which we’re going to go into, and your experience of ritualistic abuse, which is a topic that a lot of people don’t want to talk about. And I’m thrilled that you are talking about it because you’re not the first person in this community who’s come forward with that trauma.
And also, you went through a tumultuous, painful divorce from a narcissist. But you ended up being able to create and win a really powerful court case. And you had your dream legal team.
But anyway, okay, I digress. Well, so the situation with your narcissistic mum kind of all exploded in 2020. Share with us what happened there.
Anita:
Yeah, I’d been locked down in Guatemala, where I worked with cacao. I got back. I quarantined with my mother. And then, two weeks in, she died of a stroke. And I was very traumatized by what she’d done in her will, which was distinctly narcissistic, shall we say. And a very dear friend of mine, who was already on the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program, said, “Anita, it looks like your mother was a narcissist.”
And he very, very kindly bought me the NARP Gold package. And so, I diligently started doing the shifts, even though I didn’t understand what I was doing. I went through all the shifts, and that’s how I started working with NARP initially.
Mel:
So, the original stuff you were working on with NARP, were they to do with your mum, ex-husband, or a combination of both?
Anita:
At the time, it was just the stuff coming up with my mother. And the recognition that I’d been abused by her all my life and that there was a name for it, and it was called narcissistic personality disorder. I just thought she was an evil distortion of what a mother should be, but it was a relief to be able to put a label on it, so to speak, and find other people had been victims of that sort of behaviour.
Mel:
Exactly. Coming into our community is an eye-opener for many people because it’s like, “Oh, my gosh, this isn’t just my story. This is so many people’s story as well.” Okay. Because she passed away. So, when you started doing the modules, what happened to you?
Anita:
So, when I started doing the modules, there wasn’t much happening initially. I had to go through a fairly big breakdown for the modules to start working. And that breakdown involved a very acrimonious divorce with my former husband, where he announced that he was going to help himself to half of my property. He stole my business and took away pretty much everything of value to me.
Mel:
Very typical.
Anita:
Fairly standard with that sort of personality.
But I hadn’t realized that he was displaying all the attributes and qualities of a narcissist. So, I had a nervous breakdown. And then, from there, all the memories of the ritual abuse came back. And I went through a year of the valley of the shadow of death, as I like to call it, where every single second of the day, I just wanted to die.
The memories were so painful that every single cell in my body felt sick, and I was on the verge of ending it all when one of the NARP programs popped up in my inbox, and I thought, “This is my last chance, saloon. It’s either this or not being here.” Yeah.
Mel:
When we first connected, I remember you had that spark of life and hope. You are a slither of what you are today. You could see that there was this beautiful, amazing woman who was hanging on her last thread. And I’ve seen this a lot with people from ritualistic abuse who are activated into it, and the trauma is so huge. But you had it all going on everywhere.
The mum, the ritualistic abuse, the husband, the ex taking your property, taking your business, taking every part of you. So, okay, what happened next?
Anita:
Yeah. Well, I would look on the NARP Community Forum and see thrivers and NARPers having these spectacular court wins, and I thought, “How the hell am I going to get there? This is just impossible. How am I going to get from here, where I am now, in this place of just absolute desolation, fearing that I’m going to be made destitute, unable to engage with the legal process?” I was even unable to speak about it because I was so traumatized. “How am I going to be able to get from this place to a spectacular court win?” It just seemed beyond me.
So, I just kept shifting. My biggest breakthrough was a shift where I suddenly thought, “Oh, my God, I’m going to target the trauma in my body that’s generating the blocks and obstacles to my engaging with the legal process.”
Yeah, and it was like, bam, everything shifted. I was able to operate from a place of analysis and logic and deduction, as well as a kind of soul sermon if you like. I mean, that one shift cleared away so much and enabled me to operate from a position of power and ownership in this divorce process.
And then, from there, I became more and more adept at steering the course of the shifts and tailoring them to create the conditions, if you like, and attract the right people so that I’d be able to honour myself, honour my values and truths, which I’d never actually known what they were in the first place. So, it was like a multidimensional process as well, focused around the court case.
Anita:
So, all this stuff just came flooding in. It was like, “Oh, my God, I am worth something. Oh, my God, my business is worth something. All that equity that I put into that business that he’s stolen, that was worth something. My rights, my truths, my values they’re valuable to me.
And in honouring them, I’m honouring my soul and my soul path, and the creator of which I’m part of creation.”
It was multi-dimensional. It was a huge and even further spiritual awakening. So it made it more engageable, if you like, this court process, knowing that it was part of a bigger spiritual picture.
Mel:
That’s so well put. And it’s so true. And all of our ascension and healing and well-being, including finances represents the sole value. It’s the health, it’s the mental, it’s the emotional, it’s the spiritual, it’s all of those things combined.
So, what was the outcome in court? I know when you told me, I’m just like, what? That’s so cool. And witnessing stuff happening, like a big shift. And people listening to this, I know, because out in the normal non-quantum world, what happens is people are like, well, you can’t beat narcissists in court since the court and solicitors and judges are a part of the narcissistic system.
And it is, even for normal things, it can be awful. But in line with the quantum law of so within-so without, when we shift on the inside, massive things happen. So, yeah, explain what happened.
Anita:
Yeah. So I went from a place of being unable to engage with the process, even speaking to my solicitor about what had been going on, and trying to explain that I was with a psychopathic narcissist and everything was not going in my favour. We had a financial dispute resolution. It was like a second hearing. And I got pasted. I was painted as a greedy, grasping woman who wanted to keep every single penny from the marriage, and he was painted as this poor kind of trodden-over husband.
Anyway, I couldn’t have felt more battered, so I had to crawl off and do more shifts. And I thought, no, this doesn’t feel right. This isn’t aligned with my soul truth. And despite what my solicitor told me, she said, “Oh no, you’re just going to have to go to give him 50% of the property.” I said, “No, this does not feel right and is not aligned with my soul. No.”
Mel:
You are supposed to instruct your solicitor, not the other way around. And we fall for that stuff all the time. So yeah, keep going.
Anita:
So I sacked her.
Mel:
Yeah. Good.
Anita:
I found through a friend a spectacular lady who was described as lethal, and she certainly was. She prepared me a magnificent case, and I hoped it wouldn’t get to a final hearing, but the other half wanted a final hearing. He wanted his day in court. He wanted to annihilate me.
So she had recommended a barrister, who was an absolute super sleuth. And I have to say, I called in my perfect legal team. Now, he’d read my case notes because he was diligent, and he was like, “Something’s not right here.” So we went into the final hearing, and we broke for lunch. I had to give my evidence. I was just about to go up into the witness box.
And what had happened before that was that in real-time during the court, they’d uncovered that my former husband was concealing his assets, and he’d been lying and perjuring himself in court. And so I got an amazing deal. I didn’t have to give evidence in the end, his solicitors came back and said, “Right, okay, we have to make a deal,” because he was screwed.
So I was just in shock. I couldn’t believe it. I broke down in tears. It was just the most amazing, miraculous thing that had ever happened. And I was thinking, I’m going to need a miracle to sort this shit out. And I got one. Yeah, I got one.
Mel:
And Anita, we see it all the time. We see that an internal shift can be an outer thing. And that’s what you were listening to when people said, “Well, I had this miracle.” We’ve had cases where the narcissist broke down and couldn’t get to the court, and the judge decided without them, and the most incredible synchronicity has happened. So I’m so thrilled.
So what I love about that is you honoured yourself. When we’re in the fear and when we’re in the trauma and we don’t feel like an authority, and we don’t have value, we’re not listening to that inner voice. And when that solicitor said, “Well, you’ve got to take that deal,” we’re in fear and trauma, we just do that. We go along, and we end up getting throttled.
But you’ve done enough to have a shift inside you to listen to your guidance and stand in it and move with that. And then that moves universes. And that’s exactly what happened. So when did your friend recommend the new solicitor who was ruthless? Was it after you shifted and chose to go your own way?
Anita:
Oh, that was my choice. It was like I had this internal sat nav, a moral compass aligned with my soul, that was getting stronger and stronger and stronger, like a strongly beating heart. And I felt like I had to honour it, regardless of what solicitors were saying, regardless of what the judge had said. It was like I had to honour myself.
It felt very empowering doing that and discerning that my current solicitor was very mediocre and calling in someone who was powerful, incisive, who was intelligent, and who was strong. And I did that through shifting and through intention setting.
Yeah. And always I was going back to the forum. I was getting inspiration from the community, just reading about successes. I was getting inspiration from-
Mel:
And for people, that’s our global community, the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program Community Forum, a private community where all members can get coaching and support 24/7/365. But yeah, they’re amazing in there.
Anita:
Yeah. So I mean, I would say to all NARPers, take a moment to be still and go inside and feel into what your truths and your values are. And if it doesn’t feel right to you, regardless of what a judge is saying, a solicitor is saying, or anyone else is saying, it’s got to feel right to you.
And if it feels right to you, then there’s a way to be able to get the support that you need and call it in. Please work with your shifts to get to the place of honouring your soul and your values, whatever they are and however they’re expressed in the material world, whether that’s your property, your business or your child.
Mel:
Yeah, very good. Beautiful share. It is so important not just to accept or believe that you’re up against a narcissist; you’re going to get throttled, and there’s nothing you can do. It’s just not true. These people get quite powerless, and they unravel when we step into our power, and that’s what’s so exciting. They’re not as tough as what they make out to be at all.
So, Anita, like the breakdown, I want to talk a bit more about that. I want you to share with people how bad it was and how you felt when you were in that place.
Anita:
That was possibly the toughest period of my life. I didn’t think I was going to get through it. I didn’t think I’d be here now. Every single cell in my body felt like it was sick. I just felt like I was dying a million times across all my lifetimes and into my soul. It was horrific and inescapable. I couldn’t escape from this torment and the memories that were coming up.
My inner world was on steroids and acid. It was quite horrible. I mean, I can look back on it now and kind of laugh about it, which is a testament to the amount of inner work that’s taken place.
But when I came back to doing some deeper work with NARP, I was literally at the Last Chance Saloon. I thought, “If this doesn’t work, I’m going to end it because I can’t bear being in this body anymore. I can’t bear it.” It was just horrific. And I had done some great work with some amazing shamanic healers.
Mel:
I remember you saying.
Anita:
Yeah. I’ve trained and qualified as a shamanic practitioner myself, so I knew what was going on on a multidimensional level, and even then, it was just unbearable. Although I say, without that, I guess I would’ve been even more confused. So, at least I had that perspective and the shifts as well to be able to clear all this stuff out of my body.
But yeah, MTE Support were amazing. I know at the time you had Violet, and I reached out to Violet several times, and she was like a lifeline. She knew intuitively how to support me and what to say. Honestly, those MTE members were like angels during that time. All I did for a year was maybe lie on my bed and shift. That’s all I could do. I could barely leave the house. I was in a state of very, very deep depression. And looking back on it now, it was like a different lifetime.
Mel:
So, how did it start feeling different? What happened?
Anita:
My internal world shifted, and that was reflected in my external world. My external world had, for pretty much all of my life, been very haphazard and chaotic, and I started to see more structure. This is all taking place at the same time as the court hearing, so I was able to bring more structure into my life.
I was able to show up for myself more and make choices that were based on a deeper soul level rather than informed by trauma, bad habits, patterns, or addictions.
Mel:
I remember back then the battles that you were having with certain decisions, as we can all do before we start healing enough that are self-sabotage and self-harming, which align with how we’re not valuing ourselves, and you started to come out of that.
It’d be so interesting to show people the pictures, the photos of the Anita I met, and the glowing beautiful creature that you are now because you are. You’re just stunning. It’s like two different people.
Anita:
Yes, I agree with you. I just want to say to all the NARPers out there who are struggling with addictive patterns and behaviours that I had all the addictions except for heroin, crack, and gambling. I was addicted to alcohol, substances, sugar, dairy, and nicotine. I was addicted to a party lifestyle, sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
Just all the stuff. I mean, at the time, I didn’t realize that what I was trying to do was to distract myself from my inner world. Like I said, I want to say to all the NARPers out there, with the shifting, I noticed that these addictions were diminishing. I would reach for them less. It was as if my body didn’t want them, my soul didn’t want them, or I didn’t need them. And gradually, it’s almost as if they began diminishing of their own accord.
So I didn’t have to use my will or force myself into refusing these patterns. It was as if the internal battle had just vanished. There just wasn’t even a battle anymore. It just wasn’t even a thing, which was such a wonderful reward. And I’d made space for other things to come in. I’d made space for nourishing interests and hobbies and people to come into my life. And so I started to be able to choose that.
Mel:
I know some of the people you’ve connected with who are gorgeous in your world, in the U.K., and the stuff you do, and they’re stunning people.
Anita:
Yeah. And so rather than connecting, again, with abusive people or parasitic people or people who didn’t value me, I was connecting with loving and genuine people – people who valued me, and who saw me and who understood me.
I’ve also noticed that when I’ve reconnected with old friends, I say friends in the loosest possible term, and they haven’t aligned with this new version of me, they’ve fallen away very quickly, which is great.
Mel:
Which is great. Yeah, because it’s hard to bring people up to your level. It’s much better if they’re at your level or you’re growing together, which I love. Anita, honestly, I’ve always with you felt like, even though we’re around the same age, I felt like a bit of a mother hen.
No, I do because I’ve always loved you and seen you in your battle and seen who you are. And also, you reminded me of myself years ago. It’s not about me. It’s about you. But years ago, when I was on death’s door, and I thought I could never recover from my breakdown, and I’d been plagued with addictions all my life, although, after hearing your list, I think you had a better crack at it than I did, I think you’re right up there on the queen of addictions.
But mine were bad, too, so I saw so much of my journey in you. And I’d had some massive big trauma on just very deep sexual levels, too, which you’ve had at a much worse level. So it’s heartwarming for me to see because it was death/rebirth for you.
And what’s so exciting about you is that you are such a gifted, incredible lady. If I were in the U.K., I would attend your workshops. I seriously would. And I want to give you a big plug because Anita is… Please explain what you do.
Anybody in the U.K., we’ll put Anita’s details up so that you can connect up if you want to, and I would suggest it. So what do you do? Explain it to people.
Anita:
Yeah. So, I am a cacao ceremonialist. Cacao is the ancestral medicine of the Mayan people. And cacao has got the most wonderful, wonderful healing benefits. Cacao was there for me on my healing journey with NARP because cacao brought me into my body and allowed me to connect to the earth and also to connect to higher dimensions as well. But most importantly, she’s a medicine of embodiment.
And there were times when I couldn’t get up in the morning. I’d open my eyes and think, “Oh my God, I’m here again.” And the thing that got me out of bed was that trip to the blender to make my cacao.
I know I’ve segued, but I felt it important to share how instrumental cacao was in my healing journey.
So, I’ve been working with cacao since 2014. I serve cacao at ceremonies, and I also work as a shamanic practitioner and energy healer, sharing cacao in my one-to-one healings. And I also make chocolates. I’m very well known for the chocolate that I make, which is made in sacred space and is divinely delicious.
Mel:
You’ll have to send me some to Cape Trib. I want to try some of your chocolates.
I’m going to try some of your chocolates.
Anita:
Okay. It’s a date.
Mel:
I’ll buy some. Yeah, you have to send me some. I’d love to try them.
Anita:
Yeah, for sure. Yes, I will.
Mel:
If chocolate’s healthy, I’m all over it.
Anita:
Yeah, well, they’re healthy chocolate. So here’s a dish of my chocolates. We’ve got Radha and Krishna’s Love Garden, which is that one. That is a cardamom chocolate with crystallized ginger, pistachio and banana.
And we’ve got tantric breakfast, which is… I know. Do you fancy a tantric breakfast?
Mel:
Sounds exciting. That sounds dangerous, actually.
Anita:
Which is cayenne chocolate with a handmade brittle of cashew nuts and maple syrup, vanilla and dates.
Mel:
So you make these?
Anita:
I make those, yes. Yeah.
Mel:
Oh, my gosh.
Anita:
And they are plant-based, so they’re made with coconut milk powder, they’re made with maple sugar, and they’re made with coconut sugar. So, there’s no dairy, no cane sugar, and the base is ceremonial grade cacao, so they’re also a medicine. Yeah.
Mel:
Oh, my goodness. So look at you now that all this trauma’s out of your cells and all this creativity that bursts forth. And this is what I love so much about people who go through the dark dungeon of narcissistic abuse. To get out of it, you must let go of the trauma and get the light in.
And then when that source light comes in, you activate into soul mission and purpose. I’m so proud and excited for you. I love the stuff that you are getting out there and doing in the world now. And you’re an inspiration, Anita, and I hope that you can be an inspiration to other people still in the dark breakdown in the bowels of hell.
You and I have both been there, so Anita, what would you say to people who have come across my work? They’re looking at this community, who are in those dark places. What could you share with them?
Anita:
I’d love to say, invest in yourself. If you value yourself, but at the same time, you feel that you are disempowered and that you have no control over your life, coming to NARP is the most fantastic way to break through lifetimes.
We’re not just talking about this lifetime but also about ancestral stuff and other lifetimes. So, regardless of whether you resonate with that, this is what the shifting is all about. So we’ve got DNA codes literally in our blood, and doing the quantum healing helps to dissolve these habits and patterns that have been holding us back from being the very best versions of ourselves. And yeah, do it. Yeah.
Also, these shifts allow you to come into your body and start to make peace with your body. For many of us who’ve experienced abuse, the body is a very unsafe place to be. It’s been the platform for trauma. We don’t trust our bodies. They’ve heard other people, felt pain, and are carriers of pain. So, doing these shifts is a really beautiful way.
Engaging with the whole NARP and Quantum Freedom healing process is the most wonderful way of returning to your body and making peace with your body, learning to trust your body again, taking ownership of your body and beginning to love yourself. And that was one of the biggest takeaways that I had. Loving my body, loving myself and taking ownership of my body and my whole being.
Mel:
And you’ve become such a goddess who’s in her heart and body. When we first met, of course, you were traumatized, disconnected, disassociating and couldn’t even feel.
You’re now an embodied goddess, and I’m sure anybody looking at you and listening to you can hear it. It’s coming from your soul now.
Anita, thank you so much, darling, for coming on and for being such a special dear friend in my life and a fellow traveller. I love you to pieces.
Anita:
Oh, thank you, Mel. Thank you so much. It’s such an honour. Thank you.
Mel:
And how can people contact you if they’re in the UK to experience your cacao stuff and your products?
Anita:
Yeah. So the website is coming soon. I’ve mainly been involved in the divorce for the last two years, so the website’s been on the back burner. So, currently, I’m doing everything from my Instagram while the website is under construction. So, I post my stuff on my Instagram, and once my website is up, I’ll be posting on my website. So, if people want to reach out to me on Instagram and also take a look at my work, I’ve got a card here.
Mel:
Yeah. You need to bring it over in front of your face, so yeah. Okay. I’ll tell you what, honey. We’re going to put it up. We’ll put it up. What’s your Instagram handle?
Anita:
My Instagram handle is my name, anitabrulee_sacredhearts.
Mel:
Beautiful. Beautiful. So we’ll put that up with this interview as well, and people can find out more about cacao and get on to you, and that’s exciting. All right, honey. Thank you so much for taking this time this morning.
It’s your morning, it’s my evening, but it’s always awesome to hang out with you. And every time I see you, you look more and more beautiful, truly.
You are age-reversing. You look ten years younger than the last time I saw you. You do.
Anita:
Oh, gosh. Well, I’ve been doing the medical medium food – so lots of celery juice and healing foods. That, combined with shifting, has been amazing.
Mel:
All things are healthy, and I love it when we put combos together. It’s just so powerful. All right, gorgeous girl. Thank you, and I hope everybody watching this can be inspired to know that it’s never the end. And I love what I believe, that if you are still alive, source, God, creation hasn’t finished with you yet, and you are a perfect example of that, Anita.
Anita:
Thank you, Mel. Love you.
Mel:
I love you, too.
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