RISE of the ‘FAUX BONO’ LAWYER!

RISE of the ‘FAUX BONO’ LAWYER!

DATELINE: LAS VEGAS, NEV., (Sept. 18, 2021).  Once upon a time, divorce laws required parties to prove “fault.”  Couples had to prove their spouses committed infidelities so horrific—that the court should dissolve the marriage.

NO-FAULT DIVORCE

In 1931, hoping to attract residents, Nevada enacted new divorce laws.  Nevada changed its residency requirements to six weeks and adopted a “no-fault” divorce.  Couples wishing to divorce could get un-hitched in just six weeks!—and they didn’t have to prove who cheated on whom!

DIVORCE MILLS

With the advent of new divorce laws, divorce mills sprung up throughout Nevada.  Reno became the Divorce Capital of America.  Nevada ranchers cashed in on the divorce gold rush—they offered accommodations at “divorce ranches” where folks would stay for six weeks to establish residency.  In 1951, Rita Hayworth took up residency in Tahoe before filing for divorce.

THE FAMILY LAW ACT

“No-fault” divorce demonstrated the popular belief that unhappy spouses should be able to quickly end a soured marriage—and move on with their lives.  In 1969, California followed Nevada.  Then-Governor Reagan signed the Family Law Act, which created “no-fault” divorce for California couples with “irreconcilable differences.”

NEVADA GOES RETRO

Sadly, Nevada has reverted back to a “fault” based system.  Nowadays, attorneys fight to show the ex is “at fault,” and if successful, their clients are eligible to be the “prevailing party,” which triggers an attorney’s fees award.

NOBODY WINS

But there are no winners or losers in family court; after all, when parties go to family court, they seek no redress for wrongdoings.  Rather, they seek only to divide marital assets and/or possession time of children.  And, because nobody wins in family court, the notion of “prevailing party” makes no sense.

THE PREVAILING PARTY FICTION

Where cunning attorneys can show the ex is “at-fault,” the attorneys’ clients are adjudged the “prevailing party”—which results in attorney’s fees.  This is the precise point where the corruption pathogen takes hold and begins to fester.  Next thing you know, attorneys from the Legal Aid Center of Southern Nevada, (“LACSN”), pretend to be “pro bono”—with an underlying expectation they’re gonna get paid—but only if they show the other party is “at-fault!”

RISE of the ‘FAUX BONO’ LAWYER

Enter the notorious “faux Bono” lawyers—pretending to be do-gooders, supposedly donating time to charity cases—when in fact—they are money-grubbing, contingency fee lawyers—willing to wager they can show the ex is “at-fault”—and totally confident that crooked-ass judges will ensure the ex is “at-fault.”  (Get it?)

CROOKED-ASS JUDGES

Take, for example, Vince Ochoa.  Once a LACSN team member, Ochoa is now a LACSN lackey.  Nowadays, Ochoa’s job is to ensure that LACSN attorneys get paid!—by hook or by crook!  Ochoa knows the scam.  Ochoa understands that attorneys cannot donate campaign funds to the bench unless they have disposable income; and so, Ochoa ensures the LACSN attorneys get paid!

KRAMER vs. KRAMER

Do LACSN lawyers ever represent BOTH spouses in family court?  No, of course, not!  Why?—because one LACSN lawyer would have to lose!—and go home empty-handed!  And no gold-digging LACSN lawyer will take a “pro bono” gig if there’s a possibility they might have to work for free!

THE LACSN HUSTLE

If your ex is represented by LACSN, your crooked-ass judge will find YOU “at fault,” and your ex will be the “prevailing party”—because the LACSN lawyer must get paid.  Let’s say your ex LIES in open court and falsely accuses YOU of behaving badly.  Bamm!  The crooked-ass judge will believe your ex—guaranteed!  Family courts reward perjury.  Judges embrace the lies—because lies provide the necessary pretext to declare YOU “at fault.”  This means your ex is the “prevailing party,” and their LACSN attorney gets a handsome attorney’s fees award.

BETTER CALL SAUL

“Pro bono” is a Latin term meaning “for good” or “for charity.”  In contrast, “pro pecunia” is the Latin term meaning “for money.”  The “faux Bono” lawyer is NOT in the game for charitable reasons.  Getting paid is the sole objective.  The “faux Bono” lawyer is basically a contingency fee lawyer—a bus bench lawyer—like Saul Goodman—but with lower ethical standards.

UN CHINGO de DINERO

Greedy attorneys and crooked-ass judges have effectively re-transformed Nevada law—from “no-fault”—back to “fault-based” divorce.  Just think—only sixteen (16) civil judges for the entire civil docket, but twenty-six (26) for family court.  Why?—because they need TEN extra judges to manage the bustling child kidnapping industry—which generates gazillions of dollars—and causes widespread misery more dismal, more costly, and more destructive than any blight, pestilence, or plague imaginable.  Sit down, Covid—the family court is the real scourge!

BIG BUSINESS

Back in the day, enlightened Nevada lawmakers had a vision—to un-hitch couples after only six weeks’ residency.  But those days are gone forever.  Today, divorce is big business.  Nobody gets out in six weeks.  If your kid is five, and your spouse files for divorce, the custody battle will last 13 years—until the kid turns 18—guaranteed.

FAMILY COURT QUICKSAND

Regular civil courts have fast-track procedures—to quickly dispo cases, but not so family court.  It’s a criminal cabal—where lawless and psychopathic judges choke the life out of couples, stranding them in family court quicksand—opening their veins and bleeding them dry—draining the family’s assets and stealing the children’s futures.

LACSN DISCRIMINATES

If you can’t afford a lawyer, and if your ex has a really good job, LACSN will represent YOU in family court—for FREE!  On the other hand, if you can’t afford a lawyer—and your ex is on disability or welfare, then forget it—LACSN won’t touch your case with a 39-and-a-half-foot-pole.  LACSN discriminates against the poor, (i.e., “intra-class” discrimination).  LACSN treats poor people differently from one another—based only on whether the ex has a paycheck that LACSN can garnish.

DECEPTIVE TRADE PRACTICES

Where lawyers have the expectation of a payday—and they call themselves “pro bono,”—it’s inherently deceitful—a deceptive trade practice, [see NRS 598].  The venerable term “pro bono” must be reserved for attorneys with no expectation of pecuniary gain.  The moniker ”pro bono” must be unavailable to money-grubbing shysters.

50-50 CUSTODY NOW!

We call for mandatory 50-50 custody legislation in Nevada!—and not just a rebuttable presumption of joint custody—but full, equal, and undivided joint custody—as Equal Protection demands.

FINAL THOUGHT

It’s been said that equal parenting is integral for a child’s well-being.  If this is true, then the current system detriments children.  The system generates the most revenue by making parenting “unequal.”  Nevada is at a crossroads; we must decide—what’s more important?—the future of our children?—or Jennifer Abrams’ ability to buy another Porsche?

 

VETERAN in POLITICS INT’L (“Where Change Happens”)

 

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Senator Min’s Child Safety Bill Clears the CA Legislature

Senate Bill (SB) 654, backed by Angelina Jolie and Dylan Farrow, would require a judge to consider a parent’s history of domestic violence and substance abuse before allowing unsupervised visits with children.

SACRAMENTO, CA — Senator Dave Min (D-Irvine) announced today his bill to create and
extend protections for children in family court advanced from the State Legislature and will head
to Governor Newsom’s desk for his signature. SB 654 passed the Senate Floor with unanimous
support.

SB 654 would require judges to make findings on the record when entering an order for
unsupervised visitation with a parent who has a history of domestic violence or substance abuse.
This bill would also ensure children who wish to testify in contested custody battles do not have
to do so in the presence of the parties seeking custody, unless it is deemed necessary by a judge.

“I am grateful to my colleagues for their overwhelming support of SB 654, which will save lives,” Min said. “Child safety must be our number one priority in the courts, and we must ensure that we don’t put children in situations of ongoing danger of domestic violence or substance abuse. I am proud that this measure brings us one step closer to guaranteeing our laws better protect children and prioritize their health, safety, and welfare.”

This bill has enjoyed prominent and widespread bipartisan support. It is sponsored by the
Legislative Coalition to Prevent Child Abuse. According to Melissa Knight-Fine, Director of this
organization, “SB 654 promotes risk assessment and consideration of information from law
enforcement and other child protection agencies, proven tools to help prevent abuse. The bill will protect children in high-risk cases where parents who have been on supervised visitation due to violence now are asking for unsupervised visits.”

SB 654 has also received notable support from actor and internationally renowned children’s rights advocate Angelina Jolie. In her letter of support, Jolie wrote, “Having courts make findings on the record will ensure that histories of domestic violence or substance abuse are addressed and treated, and such findings will protect children from unsupervised visitation when unsupervised parenting is unsafe. The modest measures in SB 654 are also expected to prevent the need for additional hearings due to unsafe visitation.”  Dylan Farrow, a prominent advocate for survivors of sexual abuse also encouraged public support for “this crucial legislation.”



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Remembering to Breathe

Read the full article at Remembering to Breathe

This piece was submitted to our 100K STORIES PROJECT by an anonymous protective mom.

I have been a single parent twenty two years now. Single parenthood is filled with tears , loneliness, and holding my breath to survive on a shoe string budget. Buster our dog was colored blue, extreme teenage rebellion which included the police and more hospital stays then I can count are just a few off my lists of parenting. My life changed when I was in a horrific car crash at thirty two weeks pregnant. I called the ex from the back of the ambulance and he never came. I survived twenty five surgeries and my son seven since 2006. The ex left California in 2009 for Colorado and never looked back. The lawyer stole my settlement and I ended up on welfare. The dad contributed two packs of diapers, bottles, drop ins, and socks and called it a day before he left. I was broken emotionally and financially and physically so I moved back home to my fathers. I just went back to working last year and juggling multiple jobs since my ex has managed to skate by the OCDA and now Colorado DA. My son receives SSI now from the injuries he sustained in the crash. I was told by the OCDA I was lucky at least I received something.  Why does the legal system fail our kids? My ex uses his Jr’s social and changed his middle name and still driving around freely while his kids go without. Why does the government pay for deadbeat dads and their responsibilities? Why do we as mothers go without since we sure don’t let our children do? I have been called bitter and money hungry by his new woman. I have been told by the OCDA its Colorado’s job sorry we just have to wait. In the end this battle is for our children and I am his voice. I will not be silenced by this corrupt child support system.

The post Remembering to Breathe appeared first on Moms Fight Back.

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Protect Children and Parents from Court Appointees including Mediators

Read the full article at Protect Children and Parents from Court Appointees including Mediators

jen-theodore-WxCjNdz_B4I-unsplash 19momsfightback.jpg

Although I was in a 7 year post divorce case initiated by the father, MRS. Family Court Helper referred to me throughout her report to the court as MRS. Was she a once a MRS. always a MRS. kind of person or was she just careless in her cut and paste of a report she had used many times before?

MRS. Family Court Helper follows the money and moves from role to role. The trend in the family court industry is to find another court appointee role without standards or standardized training (especially domestic violence training) and use this for divorcing families who end up in court. The latest trend is mediation. MRS. Family Court Helper is now a mediator.

But she still prefers to do a PRE (custody evaluation) even though the research is saying this approach is harmful to children. MRS. Family Court Helper has conducted over 100 PRE (custody evaluations). When asked how much follow-up she had done to see how the children fared, she was incensed. When she finally responded, the answer was she hadn’t done any. What kind of professional does that?

MRS. Family Court Helper now says on her web site that the mother filed a complaint with the Department of Regulatory Agencies (DORA) because she was upset with the parenting time decision she recommended when serving as a parent coordinator. It was much more than that. BEWARE of any licensed mental health professional that uses this line. MRS. Family Court Helper suddenly became an SA/CFI (Special Advocate/Child and Family Investigator), the role the court appointed her to serve, again in her response to DORA. Interesting isn’t it?

• MRS. Family Court Helper double billed me. These were corrected when I pointed out the errors, but not before.

• When I asked for a recap of the billing it took MRS. Family Court Helper 4 months to get me a recap of the billing. It was submitted in her reply to my DORA complaint. Even though she says she was a parent coordinator on her web site and in previous billings to me, the billing and the response she submitted to DORA listed all her work as being that of an SA/CFI as the court document ordered. She’s sneaky.

• MRS. Family Court Helper failed to discuss or implement changes that would take my child out of the middle of the conflict. Suggestions were made by a school counselor with over 20 years’ experience as a counselor and parent. The counselor looked over the child’s records and shared what she had seen work and then made some recommendations based on the changes MRS. Family Court Helper was proposing. When the recommendations were shared with MRS. Family Court Helper, her response was maybe it should be her who goes to the school and talks to the school personnel. She didn’t implement any of the recommendations.

• MRS. Family Court Helper took a piece of research which spanned 25 years and included recommendations to a group of Colorado goons promoting the parent coordinator role and decided not to follow the research but the recommendations of the goons who had no back up research.

• MRS. Family Court Helper did not set session agendas and the sessions were totally out of control. According to other mental health professionals I shared my concerns with regarding the nature of the sessions; MRS. Family Court Helper allowed transference to occur but did not remove herself from the case per the standard recommendation when transference occurs.

• MRS. Family Court Helper’s bizarre suggestion—“I can hardly wait to tell you this, what about, what if, the parenting communication is just between you and the father’s girl friend?” The girl friend is long gone from the picture.

• MRS. Family Court Helper’s response to the child running away from the father’s house a second time was to say the child “said she/he could handle it”. If the child could handle it, why did the child run away? And why wasn’t this a red flag to MRS. Family Court Helper?

Not long after a complaint was filed with DORA and a motion was filed by me to have MRS. Family Court Helper removed as the appointed SA/CFI, a contempt charge was filed against me. MRS. Family Court Helper said she read every document but failed to note as did Jefferson County Magistrate Cecelia Curtis that the contempt motion was meaningless. Magistrate Curtis had failed to read the file and didn’t realize the document surrounding the contempt charge had not yet been signed by her and sent out to all parties.

MRS. Family Court Helper is sneaky. BEWARE. She was assigned to be a SA/CFI and decided she would rather be a parent coordinator—a Colorado role with no standards, no standardized training and no follow up on its effectiveness. Not knowing at the time that this was a specific ambiguous role a group of Colorado goons were promoting, I signed an agreement with her saying she was a parent coordinator. Please learn from my mistake. Do not trust a court appointee, regardless of credentials.

Lessons learned. Don’t sign any document with a licensed mental health professional working in a court-appointed role without having it first looked over by an attorney working specifically for your family. If the court appointee is in business with an attorney as MRS. Family Court Helper is, even more reason to consult with another attorney. Or better yet, avoid this type of arrangement all together. It is not good for you or your children in my opinion.

Better yet, don’t use a mediator who has worked extensively in family courts in other roles. It’s not about the children for them, it’s about the money. Avoid Colorado family courts if at all possible.

The post Protect Children and Parents from Court Appointees including Mediators appeared first on Moms Fight Back.

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Family Injustice: A Capitol Conflict

Want to see the joke of the day? The Texas Constitution requires state lawmakers who have a personal or private interest in a proposed law to disclose it to the House… and not vote. Now you will understand why fathers rights groups are furious and are demanding a vote on a bill for equal parenting after divorce. We agree.

18 Tips For Successful Co-Parenting

18 Tips For Successful Co-Parenting

 

Co-parenting after divorce is challenging but doable with planning focused on the children’s needs.

Agreement on rules for co-parenting is key, setting up guidelines for both parents, and having a constructive and productive dialogue with your ex is crucial for forming an effective co-parenting relationship.

Tips for successful co-parenting

Raising children is already hard work, so you can only imagine how much harder it becomes with joint custody.  So, make it easier by planning, reaching an agreement, and keeping communications open.

Shared parenting after divorce can greatly impact the mental and emotional well-being of children, which is why the entire divorce process should be healthy and mess-free. Begin the journey of co-parenting by addressing the issue during the divorce process.

No longer husband and wife.

The relationship with your former spouse changes when you start co-parenting with your ex.

The focus of your “relationship” is now the connection you have as your kid’s other parent. It’s important to emphasize that your children hold more importance to you than the conflict that resulted in ending your marriage.

Demonstrate to your kids that your love for them will prevail through effective and persuasive dialogues with your ex. While no co-parent can give a concrete answer to what is a perfect relationship with their former partner, here are co-parenting tips that make the process uncomplicated.

1. Set co-parenting boundaries.

After being officially divorced from your partner, you’ll have to set co-parenting boundaries and ground rules to start building a new working dynamic of your family. These include keeping things businesslike and establishing conversational limits. Your ex doesn’t need to know every detail of your personal life if it doesn’t involve your children and vice versa. Setting these boundaries will help avoid future co-parenting conflicts and introduce new behavioral guidelines that both parents must follow.

2. Focus on healing yourself to prepare for co-parenting with your ex.

To become a good co-parent to your child, remember to own your role in ending your marriage and reflect back on your mistakes to move on to the next chapter of your life.

3. Create a family plan for your children along with your former partner.

Write out a document depicting the details of your family plan for your children. Create the co-parenting plan with the best interests of your kids in mind. Outline specific aspects of how much time the kids will be spending time with your co-parent, how the children’s schedule will be after the divorce, as well as how co-parenting conflicts will be resolved.

4. Don’t project your anger and resentment onto your children.

It’s almost impossible to immediately bounce back after getting a divorce—especially if your former partner was abusive. However, if you do end up getting joint custody, remember to love your child more than you hate your ex-partner. Set aside any anger, resentment, or hurt for the sake of your children and put forward their happiness, stability, and future well-being.

5. Don’t use your kids against their parents.

Nothing good ever comes out of bad-mouthing your ex-partner. Even if your former spouse was the worst to you, never insult them in front of your children. Do not vent your frustrations about your co-parent to your kids—you make them conflicted and leave the impression that they must take sides. Keep your children out of your co-parenting conflicts.

6. Don’t use them as a messenger either.

If you use your kids to pass on messages to your former spouse, you’re essentially avoiding having dialogues with your ex and putting your children in the center of your co-parenting conflict.

One of the most important co-parenting tips to keep in mind is to make your relationship with your ex-partner as peaceful as possible. No sending passive-aggressive messages, especially through your kids.

7. Create a sense of security for your children.

In unsure times like these, it’s crucial to make your children feel safe and secure. Do your best to put them first, even if it requires involving mediation in the divorce proceedings.

Remember to also allow your kids to have power in your co-parenting relationship—encourage them to take some of their things to your former partner’s house, let them know it’s okay to want to stay with them. Always assure them that both co-parents love them equally and they’re not to blame for your separation.

8. Focus on bettering your communication with your ex-spouse.

The key to having an effective co-parenting relationship is improving your communication with your ex-spouse. Calm, consistent, and calculated dialogue with your ex helps to positively impact your relationship with your kids.

Don’t forget to make your children the focus of your conversations. While it may seem impossible to be on good terms with your former spouse, your goal is to have conflict-free dialogues with your ex for the sake of your kids.

9. Make visitations and transitions easy for your children.

Being a child who frequently moves from one household to another is overwhelming. You’re saying “hello” to one parent and “goodbye” to the other. Make these transitions easier for your kids by reminding them they’ll be leaving for the other parent’s house a few days before the visit. Another useful co-parenting tip for these situations is dropping off your children instead of picking them up—you wouldn’t want to interrupt a special moment.

10. Be a flexible parent to avoid co-parenting conflicts.

While being a strict parent is necessary to establish behavioral guidelines and set agreed rules for children, it doesn’t hurt to chill out every now and then.

So what if you co-parent dropped off your kids 30 minutes late? When you compromise and let minor things slide, your former partner is more likely to become equally flexible in the future.

11. Keep in mind that fair doesn’t necessarily mean equal in co-parenting.

Since your children divide their time between co-parents, the time you spend with them is limited and precious. Sometimes, it’ll seem like your co-parent is organizing extra-curricular activities when the kids are supposed to be spending that time with you.

Learn to refrain from starting co-parenting conflicts in these situations by seeing the bigger picture—what works for you may not be in your children’s best interest. Support your kids at all times.

12. Respect your children’s time with their other parent.

Simultaneously, respect each other’s parenting time. Let your kids spend quality time with the other parent without disturbing or potentially sabotaging their time. Acknowledge your former partner’s authority to your children, whether or not you agree with every decision they make.

Successfully co-parenting after divorce is possible when both parties respect the fact that each co-parent has the best interests of the kids in every decision they make.

13. Plan regular co-parenting meetings.

Have regular check-ins with your former partner not only to form an effective co-parenting relationship but to also improve your communication with your ex-spouse. The co-parental meetings should revolve around your children’s schedule after the divorce, as well as their health and well-being.

Keep the meetings brief and to the point—take to each other with respect and listen to what you both have to say.  Take notes and share them with your ex so there is no confusion on what was discussed and what was agreed to.

14. Don’t expect your co-parent to strictly follow your rules.

Although you might have a specific approach regarding raising your children, your co-parent might disagree with certain aspects of your methods. They might let them do things—not necessarily dangerous or unsafe—that you don’t normally allow them to do.

Your co-parent might let your kids stay past their bedtime or allow them to have ice cream at late night hours. Abide by the agreed rules for your children, but don’t expect to strictly follow them at all times.

15. Share your children’s photos of important events with your co-parent.

No parent wants to miss their children’s birthday, graduation, or any other important life event on purpose. However, if you or your co-parent happen to miss a certain event, do send pictures of the occasion to make them feel they’re a part of the family.

Don’t trigger co-parenting conflicts and accuse them of deliberately not attending the event. Try to understand where they’re coming from and why they can’t come to the occasion. After all, they’re also your kids’ parent and they deserve to be a part of their lives.

16. Make important family decisions with your co-parent present.

Unless your co-parent is abusing their power over your children, do not make necessary decisions regarding your kids without your ex-spouses’ input. Hold a brief discussion about the subject before meeting your co-parent to explain further.

Avoid sending one-sided emails or messages to your co-partner in these cases—words may get lost in translation in texts and emails and your effective co-parenting relationship may be compromised.

17. Establish a support system for shared parenting after divorce

Co-parenting after divorce may get overwhelming, so don’t hesitate to reach out to friends and family to help you overcome these difficult times. Having joint custody with your ex-spouse can be paralyzing, but as long as you know you have a support network, moving forward becomes doable.

18. Create a fresh co-parenting plan when new partners are introduced to the family dynamic.

You can’t stick to the same co-parenting plan forever. Children grow up, you introduce new parenting methods, and eventually, new people become a part of your family. Go over the co-parenting plan with your ex-spouse to change or add new behavioral guidelines and further discuss new co-parenting boundaries.

Joint custody arrangements can be stressful when you don’t have an effective co-parenting relationship. Stress, exhaustion, and trauma might get the best of you. However, co-parenting plans can be created early on in the divorce process.

Have fruitful and productive dialogues with your ex and come up with a family plan for the children with the presence of a divorce mediator.

Make joint custody work, enable your kids to thrive, and incorporate as many co-parenting tips as you can in your everyday routine to make life after divorce effective and contented.

 

The post 18 Tips For Successful Co-Parenting appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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Woman talking to angry ex on the phone who needs to establish boundaries in their co-parenting communication

Co-parenting Communication Tips

Getting along with your ex isn’t always easy, but these tips on setting boundaries can make discussions about your child(ren) less stressful.

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Veterans In Politics Argues Against Nevada Assembly Bill 115

Veterans In Politics Argues Against Nevada Assembly Bill 115

 

Clark County Nevada

March 2, 2021

 

Veterans In Politics video internet talk-show interviewed Burke Hall a litigant that has been fighting to have custody of his two remaining sons after his ex-wife was convicted of the death of their youngest son.  Burke discusses why AB 115 is not a law that would benefit Nevada’s families in this year’s legislative session.

Please click on the link below to view AB115:

legiscan.com/NV/bill/AB115/2021

 

Summary

AN ACT relating to parentage; authorizing a court to determine in certain circumstances that more than two people have a parent and child relationship with a child; establishing provisions concerning custody and visitation, adoption, and the termination of parental rights in cases in which a child has more than two parents; requiring the Committee to Review Child Support Guidelines to review the guidelines established by regulation for the support of one or more children to determine the amount of required support in cases in which a child has more than two parents and provide any recommendations for revisions to the Administrator of the Division of Welfare and Supportive Services of the Department of Health and Human Services; requiring the Administrator to review and consider any such recommendations and revise or adopt any necessary regulations, and providing other matters properly relating thereto.

 

Our Argument Against this bill:

 

ASSEMBLY BILL 115

 

  1. TOTAL WASTE OF LEGISLATION RESOURCES. THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER IMPORTANT BILLS TO ADDRESS. THIS IS A DIRECT VIOLATION AND MOCKERY OF OUR US CONSTITUTION.
  2. SEVERE VIOLATION OF NRS 126.036 TROXEL V. GRANVILLE
  3. WE ALREADY HAVE SURROGACY LAWS AND SPERM DONATION CONTRACT LAWS.
  4. AND GAY MARRIAGE ALREADY ALLOWS SAME-SEX COUPLES TO BE PARENTS.
  5. THERE IS NO REASON FOR EVEN MORE DISCRETION.
  6. THIS BILL WOULD UNDERMINE THE ENTIRE INSTITUTION OF THE FAMILY UNIT. AND GIVE FAMILY COURT JUDGES UNLIMITED POWER AND DISCRETION OVER THE BIOLOGICAL PARENTS REGARDLESS IF THEY ARE FIT; REGARDLESS IF THEY ARE MARRIED
  7. WE ALREADY SUFFER FROM JUDGES HAVING “TOO MUCH” DISCRETION AND THIS WOULD GIVE CARTE BLANCHE TO DESTROY THE FAMILY UNIT AND ALLOW LEGALIZED TORTUROUS INTERFERENCE IN PARENTING RIGHTS. ESSENTIALLY IT WOULD ALLOW LEGALIZED KIDNAPPING—GIVE THEM THE DISCRETION TO ASSIGN OR REMOVE PARENTS.
  8. JUST LIKE IN THE DOCUMENTARY “THE GUARDIANS”, A STATE OFFICIAL SHOWS UP AT YOUR FRONT DOOR——MRS. _____________, I HAVE A TEMPORARY ORDER TO TAKE YOUR CHILD. COMPLY OR FACE JAIL TIME.
  9. CREATES SIBLING ALIENATION AS YOUR CHILDREN COULD EACH HAVE DIFFERENT PARENTS EVEN IF THEY ARE 100% BIOLOGICALLY RELATED.
  10. IN THE RASMUSSEN-HAMMER CASE THAT HAS BEEN ONGOING FOR 8 YEARS WE SEE THE SEVERE DAMAGE CAUSED TO THE CHILD WHEN DISTRICT COURT JUDGES USED THEIR DISCRETION TO GIVE A MARRIED WOMAN PARENTING RIGHTS TO A 6 ½ YRS OLD GIRL ALONG WITH THE BIOLOGICAL PARENTS ON THE PREMISE SHE WAS A “BABYSITTER”. HOW THIS IS GOING ON UNDER EXISTING LAW IS A MYSTERY. THE COURT TREATS THE 100% BIOLOGICALLY RELATED SIBLINGS AS IF THEY HAVE DIFFERENT PARENTS AND AS SUCH SIBLING BOND DOES NOT EXIST. THE BROTHER AND SISTER HAVE NOT BEEN ALLOWED CONTACT IN OVER 2 YEARS. BOTH GRIEVE THE LOSS OF ONE ANOTHER.
  11. THIS JUDICIAL DISCRETION WOULD ALSO DESTROY BEST INTEREST UNDER NRS 125C.0035.
  12. AMERICA HAS THE LOWEST CHILDBIRTH IN 38 YEARS. IF PARENTS FEEL THEY HAVE NO POWER TO GOVERN THEIR FAMILIES, THEY WILL HAVE FEWER CHILDREN.
  13. A JUDICIAL CRISIS ALREADY EXISTS, JUDGES ALREADY ABUSING DISCRETION, THIS WOULD MAKE IT 10X WORSE. THIS BILL WILL FEED THE FIRE OF JUDICIAL ERROR OR JUDICIAL CORRUPTION.
  14. WOULD CLOG UP CHILD SUPPORT COURTS AS NOW THERE ARE MORE PARENTS FROM WHICH TO COLLECT.
  15. IT MIGHT BE A WAY TO DRUM UP MORE $$$$ THROUGH FAMILY COURT. THE CONTENTION IS ALREADY AT A HIGH WITH TWO PARENTS. MORE THAN TWO WOULD CREATE BIGGER WARS AND PUT EVEN MORE PRESSURE ON CHILDREN.; FORCING THEM IN THE MIDDLE OF THREE, FOUR, OR MORE ADULTS.
  16. IN ADDITION, IT ALLOWS THE GOVERNMENT TO INTERCEDE.
  17. YOU MIGHT BE FORCED TO SHARE YOUR CHILD WITH A STATE AGENCY WHERE THE STATE AGENCY IS DEEMED TO BE GIVEN THE PARENT STATUS.
  18. ANYONE COULD NOW FILE A PETITION FOR PARENTAGE; NEIGHBOR, FRIEND, SCHOOL TEACHER, BABYSITTER, ANYONE WHO HAS A “RELATIONSHIP” WITH YOUR CHILD.

 

Please click on the link below to view: Burke Hall discusses proposed legislation regarding family court on Veterans In Politics talk-show

 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUIs14J-6Kw&t=534s

 

 

 

Educate yourself!

 

 

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20 Signs Your Ex Is Narcissistic

20 Signs Your Ex Is Narcissistic

You leave and you’ll never see the kids again

Narcissistic mother

Things started so well.  They seemed perfect and, even better, they made you feel perfect too.  They lavished praise and attention on you.  It felt wonderful.  It was everything you ever dreamed of.

Then they stopped being so affectionate.  They started talking about someone new at work.  Everything they once said they loved most about you suddenly seemed to irritate the crap out of them.

What changed?

They tell you it was you but you aren’t sure.  Nevertheless you try everything to win back their acceptance.

But it’s not enough and although you do anything and everything, nothing works.

It’s all your fault

Or is it?

 

Individuals with narcissistic personalities tend to be grandiose, entitled, and self-centered.  They are often impulsive and anxious, have ideas of grandiosity and “specialness“, become quickly dissatisfied with others and maintain superficial, exploitative interpersonal relationships.

It’s why they find it so easy to  move on to the next “supply” and so easily discard you.

They react to criticism with feels of rage, stress or humiliation (even though they will never express that).  They take advantage of others to achieve their own ends.  

Other personality disorder processes are high levels of over-dramatic emotional displays (silent treatment or rage), paranoia (jealousy and suspiciousness), antisocial behaviours (aggression, domestic abuse and verbal abuse) or obsessive compulsive behaviours (rigid moralistic rules).  These are often evident throughout the relationship, although not at the start as they usually have another person who is able to be their “regulatory other” (the person who regulates their emotions). 


Overt narcissist (sometimes called grandiose narcissist)

Overt narcissists are characterised by grandiosity, attention-seeking, entitlement, arrogance and little observable anxiety. They can be socially charming, despite being oblivious to the needs of others, and are interpersonally exploitative.  They engage in superficial relationships and seek out external feedback that supports their grandiose sense of self and protects them from their fragile self image

Covert narcissist (sometimes called vulnerable narcissist)

Coverst narcissists present as vulnerable, fragile and thin-skinned.  They are characterised as inhibited, distressed and hypersensitive to evaluations of theirs, while chronically envious and evaluation themselves in relation to others. Interpersonally they tend to be shy, outwardly self-effacing (modest) and hypersensitive to criticism, but are covertly grandiose and jealous.

Malignant narcissist

They are characterised by the typical symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder as well as prominent antisocial behaviour, paranoid features and sadism towards others.  they engage in chronic lying, intimidation and financial or interpersonal secondary gains which maintain their malignant pattern.

10 Signs Your Ex Wife/Girlfriend Is Narcissistic

I watched Gone Girl for the first time a few months ago and I thought Amy (pictured above, credit: thefincheranalyst.com) was one of the best depictions of a female covert narcissistic I have seen.  She played the part of victim so well at the start to lure in her husband (Amy’s mother was a overt narcissist) and then later in the film to restore her delusion as “loyal wife”.  Apologies if I have given too many spoilers away there, trust me that there is so much more to the film.

The female narcissists I have dealt with personally and professionally were covert and loved to act like the perfect partner and parent.  They go to extreme lengths outside the family home to project this image of perfection.  Obviously within the relationship things are very different.

Here are ten signs of a female narcissistic ex:

Continuous sense that she is disappointed

Take sides against you by default, assume the worst, distrust

Fantasies, several would involve another partner, not subtle

Your were paying for others mistakes against her

No true connection, emotionally distant, and callous

Ruined your special occasions by refusing to acknowledge them but wanted excessive displays of devotion on theirs

She prevented you from making friends, venting frustrations, or seeking support

Double standards in everything (they expect praise but gave you nothing but criticism, even if you did the same/similar thing)

You were made to feel guilty for wanting to be intimate

She regularly threatened to leave, threatening to pursue support in Family Court in order to destroy you financially (and may have followed through on this)

If you have children with a female narcissist, I recommend reading our blog 13 Strategies for Dealing With A Female Narcissist 

10 Signs Your Ex Husband/Boyfriend Is Narcissistic

I hate to admit this but I loved the first season of You.  Joe was a terrifyingly good narcissist.  So good that I think he lovebombed half the female audience! He displayed anti-social behaviour (malignant), vulnerability (covert) and was incredibly socially charming (overt). He was a full-house.

The male narcissists I have dealt with have also displayed all of the criteria.  I have had men ring me telling me that their ex is stopping them from seeing their children only to make false allegations against me online 24 hours later because HE didn’t answer the call HE arranged. I have spoken to men who have overtly spoken of their own grandiose sense of self by stating how they were capable of doing x,y and z even though they emailed me for advice. I have also had conversations with someone who claimed they were alienated only to later discover that they were in fact a registered sex offender.

Here are ten signs your ex was narcissistic:

Infidelity is common but they will also engage in sexual fantasies and try to get you involved

He wanted to control your appearance appearance

His and your emotional needs were not attended to

Triangulated the children into arguments and expects the children to take his side

Was only interested in doing things he wanted to do

He was extremely jealously of other men

He was envious of any of your successes (including your relationship with the children)

He never listened, but expected a lot of attention and perfect memory

Downplayed the contribution of raising children or taking care of the household

Sees you as his only being there to meet his needs

If you have children with a narcissistic ex I recommend reading out blog The Realities of Co-Parenting with a Narcissist

Narcissists dispaly a pattern of self-centeredness and grandiosity.  They have an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and achievements, require constant attention, affirmation and praise and believe they are unique and special and should only associate with others who are equally unique and special (you).  These are all brilliant reasons they are your ex.

As stated, if you have children with a narcissist do check out our resources on parental alienation and divorcing the narcissist.  Forewarned is forearmed.

The post 20 Signs Your Ex Is Narcissistic appeared first on The Nurturing Coach.

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single parenting: blonde woman in blue top pouting

Single Parenting: Do We Ever Stop Feeling Guilty?

single parenting: blonde woman in blue top pouting

 

The beauty of life, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change so that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger but in wisdom, understanding, and love.

Single parent or not, I don’t think there is a space that exists that guilt doesn’t somehow find its way into the psyche of your day. We never feel like we are enough on the best of days.

Single Parenting

But single parents have a unique extra shoulder that sits on them like the yoke on an Ox because they must be so many people at once. If you need to please your child, your job may suffer. If you need to please your work, your children may suffer. If you need to please yourself, well…that’s a rare occasion and one that usually doesn’t even register on the totem pole of the priorities of your life.

We check off the boxes of the laundry list of chores that need to be done each day. Chores that reflect everything from just waking up to getting breakfast in your children’s tummies, to getting dressed, to checking that their homework is in the backpacks tucked alongside their lunches.

You make sure you are out the door not a minute past 7:20 am or you will hit the swath of traffic on Western Avenue that will slow you down and get you last in line for the drop off to the first of the two schools your kids attend.

As you drive you pray, they get there on time and are not subject to being tardy.

After doing the proverbial school drop-offs, you swing by McDonald’s for your first cup of desperately needed coffee which is also part of the timing game. Get there too late and you sit-in line and then you are late for work.

As you drive to work traversing over the bridges, sipping your cup of Joe, you feel yourself getting reacquainted with a moment of control.

It is only you in the car as you say your positive affirmations to yourself …” I intend on having a calm and confident day!” … “I am successful beyond my wildest dreams!” And so, it is as the day progresses.

You literally feel like you have already lived 6 hours of your day before it has even begun.

What did my children learn from me?

Did they see the guilt I lived with every day?

Did they feel responsible for any of the guilt that I imposed on myself and yet, picked up by them?

As I look at them now at the ages of 24 and 20, I see that indeed some of it has rubbed off on them.

I had written an article earlier about the comments of my children after I had interviewed them about their experiences with divorce. I asked the following question which gave me insight. This was what my son’s answer was.

If you could have any wish now as an adult of a divorced family what would that wish be?

 “I wish I handled it better and didn’t manifest resentments or anxieties that should have been addressed earlier. I wish I could have also been more supportive. Even though I was young, there was always more I could have done.”

My son was 4 years old when our marriage ended. What was this little boy thinking he could do? He was a child. There was nothing that was his responsibility.

Yet, he is 24 now and has articulated this. And honestly, I think he still feels this way. So, the answer to my own question would be, yes, they learned that their mom did feel guilt so perhaps they should too. My absence of mind in this was not what my intention was. I just felt what I felt, and they absorbed it.

The job of two is done by one. The job of two is done by

“Mum”.

Do We Ever Stop Feeling Guilty?

So, what is this guilt that single moms in general feel?

Why do we feel so obliged to be everything to everyone?

In my case, I felt that because their father didn’t love me anymore and found someone new, it made me feel like I had failed not him… but them. I wasn’t lovable any longer and thus they felt unlovable by him too.

To this day they both will curtail their conversations with him to please him. They will avoid subjects and requests that they feel will displease him because they feel the conditions of that love.

After all, he left his two children and married another woman with two children. This action alone made them feel somewhat invalidated and thus the conditions began. I never went a day in my life that I didn’t feel loved by both my parents and most particularly my father. Because they didn’t get that everyday love that I had experienced, I have spent the greater part of the past 20 years feeling guilt that has at times undone me.

The guilt of feeling like you are a bad mom means that you are a good mom.

So, what have they learned?

What is the imprint this guilt has made on their lives now that they are young adults?

Was it good?

Or was it not so good?

Notice I didn’t say bad. I don’t want to think that anything I did as a single mother was bad for them. I don’t think anything was. I just think there are varying degrees of what a child absorbs simply because their single mom is navigating waters that are uncharted to her.

And in many cases, frightening. Perhaps the bigger question is what have I learned?

Was this guilt manufactured by my need to keep the pity party going? Or was it real and did I just feel profound sorrow? And was I just too overwhelmed? I think all the above.

What happens many times is that children of divorce see what is happening to the parent they are left to live with the most. And in almost all cases, this is with the mother.

I would frequently say out loud things like, “Good Lord, with this stress I will be surprised if I make it to my next birthday!” That was my way of letting off my steam. I never meant it for one day. But they both have commented on how my saying that had affected them. They literally worried that I was going to die. And the very thought of that was horrific to them.

They had already lost their father to another family. The next thought that raced into their young minds was what will happen to them if I die?

They only shared this with me a few months ago and I have never said it again. And if I could take it back all those years ago I would. It breaks my heart to think that I placed this kind of fear in them.

“Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.”

Winston Churchill

I do still feel guilty about a myriad of things. I feel guilty for not being able to give my children the kind of security I felt growing up. I also feel guilty for making them so much of a priority that I didn’t spend time looking for a possible stepdad for them. They never really saw a good relationship between a husband and wife. And for that I am sorry.

My son’s only example was perhaps in my Father with my Mother. My daughter has learned to take care of herself and be strong because as she said, love is never guaranteed. But as Winston Churchill said, it takes courage. Courage to step into the fear. Courage to find the wisdom. And courage to be your true authentic self.

And at the end of the day …yes, I still have guilt. But I also have perspective. My fears of the past created reactions that made me feel hopeless. My courage for the future is how I will navigate this next chapter of my life. And I know they will both be watching me from afar.

The post Single Parenting: Do We Ever Stop Feeling Guilty? appeared first on Divorced Moms.

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