The Ultimate Insult To A Narcissist

After everything the narcissist has done to you wouldn’t it be nice to get a little bit back one day?

I’m not talking about doing something cruel or vindictive like them, but I am talking about solid ways to stand in your power that bring them TOTALLY undone.

In this episode of Thriver TV, I am going to share the ultimate insult to a narcissist and how you can overcome them when they try to smear you during property settlements, while co-parenting, or any other situation where they would typically derail you.

If you can listen and absorb the message in today’s episode, you will be well on your way to defeating them and going free.



Video Transcript

Today I want to talk to you about the ultimate insult to a narcissist. This also happens to be the greatest growth compliment to yourself, which is such an added bonus!

I’m really excited to share this information with you, but before I do, I want to remind you that if you haven’t yet subscribed to my YouTube channel, I invite you to please do so, and to share it with others who could benefit.

Let’s begin with an essential understanding first. What is it that narcissists want more than anything?

I’m going to put it really simply and cut straight to the chase: what they want is your attention. They want your focus, they want your energy and they want your life force.

What does this look like?

It looks like them sucking you into, and manipulating you into, handing your energy and your resources over to them. It’s about them purposely triggering you into emotional responses towards them, because that is their fastest validation that they’re significant. Your granting them attention is you getting triggered to hand over your energy.

Why do we react to narcissists (because they are highly triggering)? But why are we reacting the way we do?

It’s because of two reasons that we get triggered and we react.

Either we are looking to them to provide us with something they are not giving us – that we haven’t realized we’ve not been able to give to ourselves; or we are triggered because we are trying to rectify something they have done to us that is really hurtful.


Narcissists Don’t Care

The thing with narcissists is that they do not learn through any of their experiences.

Normal human beings grant eachother things such as compassion, kindness and sharing – because they care and are interested in a win-win. A narcissist is not at all disturbed by not granting you these things.

Narcissists don’t even care about giving you the basic respect of recognition that you are a flesh and blood autonomous human being with a soul and feelings.

You really need to understand this: narcissists couldn’t care less about recognizing any of that normal humanity, and they care even less about giving you what you want or need in order to feel healthy, safe and loved. That’s not on their radar at all and that’s not what they are in your life to do. So of course you are triggered because this is so careless and so neglectful. It’s out and out abuse – it really is.

They know that you are going to react and they know that in your reaction you’re going to hand over attention and energy to them. So this is why they don’t learn and they don’t change – it’s giving them narcissistic supply.

Of course, in the early days it didn’t happen like that, because if you met and began connecting to somebody who was careless, neglectful, and didn’t care about your feelings, you never would have signed up into receiving such treatment.

That extreme care and attention that the narcissist was giving to you in the early days was all a ploy to get you hooked and dependent on them. That person – that caring, giving, granting person – never existed and they never will. It’s a show. It’s a mirage.

If you were born into a family of origin where this person is triggering you by not caring about you, then that always was the case, because as a child you didn’t have the capacity to choose differently. It was what it was, and it was your normal right from the beginning.

But as adults we can choose differently and we’re going to be talking about that a little later on.

So the first thing is, they don’t do caring things that normal caring, considerate people would do.


Narcissists Need To Trigger You

Then also they do horrible things to trigger you. These are things like name-calling, or stonewalling.

You may confront them because you want some accountability and they will just walk out the door. They will refuse to speak to you: they’ll shut you down.

Or they’ll do their whole blaming of you – they’ll project onto you and bring up all sorts of things. They will get off topic.

They lie, they cheat, they steal from you… they do all manner of horrible things.

They will do whatever it takes to trigger you, because as soon as they trigger you, then you are handing over your energy to them.

It is all about attention.

It’s all about them disowning their inner traumas, their behavior, their dysfunctions and their inner self-rejection.

It’s about lining you up, because as soon as you’re triggered they can make it all your fault.

Narcissists are very comfortable in dark energy, manipulation and lies, and these kinds of processes – it’s the ground that they operate on. They are very comfortable in it, but we are not! It triggers us, and it freaks us out.

Then when you are triggered and freaking out, they can stand back and say, “Look at you! You are the problem, you’ve got anger issues, you are crazy, you need therapy.”

Narcissists will also find the perfect ammunition from your words in texts or emails – or they might even tape conversations, they will stoop that low. Then they can tell people what you were saying when you were massively triggered, and it allows them to do the whole thing of, “I’m the victim. This person is the bad, abusive one and they’re making my life a living hell.”

Narcissists love this drama! They love and are comfortable in the dark, distorted energy of what is going on inside them, which is all of those traumas and disowned parts and unhealed stuff. They love to dramatise it onto somebody else or spew it onto others – to flip the script.

By triggering others and then blaming them for all the problems, they can continue their exploitation, undetected. They can steal people’s souls, their life force, their resources, their property and their money.

Ultimately narcissists are parasitical beings and that is how they get away with it.


How To Stop Providing Narcissistic Supply

So how do you short-circuit this? The simple answer is – stop it! Stop it completely.

Stop participating in being their food source.

Stop granting them your triggers, or the evidence that they have triggered you. Stop granting them any energy, attention, or even a minute portion of your oxygen or your spirit.

By doing that, you make them non-existent. That is the ultimate insult to a narcissist, because it means they are nothing.

If you don’t react – if you don’t hand them any of your energy or attention – they’re nothing.

Here’s the truth. A narcissist is nothing anyway. There is no true self inside them. They only know that they are ‘some thing’ via the significance of getting other people’s energy. Without it, there is no inner self to fall back on.

Narcissists are a charade. They are a false self: an ego construct of falsities and deceptions; grandiose, unrealistic figments of their own imaginations about themselves.

They are cardboard cut-outs – nothing about a narcissist is based in reality and truth. They are nothing without your triggers being activated – ‘no thing’ at all.

Let’s look at some practical examples of how to achieve this.


Focus On Your Facts

First of all, stop going into details. We’ve all had the experience of trying to lecture and prescribe to a narcissist. It feels like you are trying to explain things to an adult that a five year old would understand about being a decent human being. So stop trying to teach them how to be a good person.

Instead, take a deep breath and recognize that no amount of lecturing, explaining and prescribing does anything positive. The narcissist doesn’t care about being a good person and they don’t want to learn. They are not even listening to that. They are simply getting off on seeing you triggered. So only respond with facts about you and the situation.

For example, let’s say a narcissist tries to change a parenting agreement with you, like a time, or a drop off or other agreement. Rather than lecturing or prescribing about being a good person and sticking to the agreement and having to do the right thing – forget all of that. They want you to do that, so instead, just say, “No. This is what I will accept. This is what I won’t accept.”

And then the narcissist will tell you that you’re a really bad parent. Don’t respond.

Don’t respond, because what you are saying to yourself is, “My opinion about me is rock solid and I don’t care what you think. This is what I will accept. This is what I won’t.”

To recap: no explaining, justifying or emotional reaction whatsoever. It’s just a short, sharp stating of your facts. The narcissist will then go for that trigger to try to derail you – and you just don’t even respond.



Live Your Truth

The next powerful tip is to realize the narcissist is never going to agree with your version of things, ever. It’s not what they are in your life to do.

So take another deep breath and recognize your growth and maturity is about realizing that nobody needs to give you permission to live your truth.

As an empowered adult who is getting self-actualized and self defined, nobody needs to agree with your truth. Only you do. And then you just be it and do it and live it.

Instead of trying to make other people agree with your truth and give you permission to live it – live it! It’s your God / Source given right to live your truth.

For instance, if you are separating from a narcissist and they are threatening to take 80% of the property, and are telling you all of the reasons why you should hand it over, and all of the reasons they’re entitled to it, etc. You say, “No, I am not giving you 80% of the property.”

They will then come out with every nasty accusation, threat, guilt trip, and retaliation you can imagine. They are not going to agree with your version of things – and they don’t have to. You do.

Which means you can simply walk away, with no more conversation. You do not hand over the money and you get on with your day. You keep building your case with facts and you refuse to go into fear. That’s it.


Be Your Authentic Self

Another powerful way that you insult the narcissist horrifically is by not buying into their cruel smear campaigns.

As sure as eggs are eggs, he or she is going to try to discredit you and draw other people into believing all sorts of horrible things about you – and of course these are usually things that the narcissist has done themselves.

But here it is – don’t bite, defend or go into retaliation at all. Instead, really anchor into and embody, “I know who I am. And if others don’t, that’s their business.”

Continue to be, and to demonstrate, the credible, real you that you are healing into, becoming, and taking on as your ascension and as your evolution. Anchor into that around anyone you are smeared to, including your children.

We have a lot of people in our Thriver community who are working really powerfully and diligently on this using my Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP). By doing so, they discover how quickly narcissistic smear campaigns fall to bits.

This is because fundamentally you are in an energetic, spiritual battle with a narcissist. That’s really what is going on and by trying to battle with their darkness, you are being infiltrated and impregnated with it.

This is not about trying to turn the darkness into light. This is about letting go of the darkness and becoming the light.

In this powerful soul graduation experience that you’re going through with a narcissist, without your emotional triggers the narcissist is an empty vessel – meaning there’s nothing to fuel up what they are trying to do to you. It all falls over. The narcissist comes undone and people quickly wake up to the truth.

When you don’t care, and you can authentically say, “I’m being me, and I’m giving myself permission to be me, regardless of what anybody else is or isn’t doing,” then you will see that the narcissist can’t succeed against you and everything will start to turn in your favour. Not because of what you are doing, or what you are trying to fix or change, but because you’ve fixed and changed on the inside.

That’s your power.

You don’t need to care what’s going on ‘out there’ because you are living as your solid inner self. You have given yourself permission to do that, you are doing the inner work to achieve that and you are being you, regardless.

At that point you are already free.

You will then be beautifully astounded and shocked at how Life and available others will join you, be with you, and bring you more support and resources than Life and others have ever brought to you before. That’s your evolution point.

This is the life myself and other Thrivers live, because we did the inner work on this and the outer application then came. We knew how to be: just to be ourselves.

This is why narcissists have no impact or influence in our lives whatsoever because they have become Not Our Reality. It’s like, “You can try and trigger or do whatever you want. I’m being myself. I don’t care what you think. I no longer need your permission and I no longer need to change your mind. I’m just going to set myself free by being me and my truth.”

Then you will see how powerless narcissists are.

So the goal for you is to become anti-fear.


Becoming Anti-Fear

Narcissists are great at controlling you and keeping you hooked through fear.

They work out what your inner fears are, such as your fears of abandonment, or being replaced by another, being alone, not being able to survive financially, maybe never finding real love again, or the terror of having to live without this person.

Whatever you most fear is what the narcissist will use against you. They will mess with and threaten the people and the things that are important to you, to really hook you into this.

So by letting go of them, and coming home to yourself by filling with your higher self and your truth, you will realize what true power is really all about.

Module eight of NARP is priceless for all of these things that the narcissist is triggering in an attempt to derail you and get you to hand over your power. And module eight in NARP is one of our most used modules.

People use it in the courtroom before they’re going into court cases; they use it if they’re being stalked; they use it if they’re going through custody battles. They use it in any and all of those times when they are triggered into the ‘what ifs’ of “what is this person going to do?” and “what are they capable of?” Because yes, narcissists are capable of anything, when we fearful of them.

When you do that inner work, the narcissist is horrified, drained, and exposed.

When you are no longer reacting emotionally, physically, or spiritually – in this spiritual battle – all of that bad, dark energy that they have been putting out there has got no place to land on you.

When you are not fueling the fire with your fears and your insecurities, the karma bus really does hit the narcissist. It all comes home, is returned to sender and they start unraveling. People see the truth in ways that will stun you as authorities, friends and families wake up to the lies. And the narcissist – no longer being able to trigger, hook you, and control you – ends up being terrified by your powerful, solid, authentic light.

It is a massive insult to them when they can’t trigger you. They have to get out of your energetic presence and your life faster than you could imagine. That’s why narcissists let go.

People ask, “Why doesn’t the narcissist let go? Do they ever let go?” Yes! When you claim your light, like a vampire with a bright light being shone on them, they have to run back into the shadows. They will get out of your life – and if getting out of your life means that they have to capitulate, finish up and settle, and give you what you want, then they do. The gig is up and the false self has no power. The little man or woman behind the curtain is fully exposed.


In Conclusion

This is the biggest insult to a narcissist, and so I want you to use it as a powerful mantra:

I know who I am and my truth. I’m no longer perturbed or dependent , caring about what you’ve done to me or what you think of me. I’ve come home to myself, and your abuse was my vehicle to get there. I’ve taken back my power and you are not my reality anymore. I have evolved beyond you.

That’s what narcissists hate. You don’t say that to them, you simply embody it and live it, and that’s the truth.

I hope that this has helped.

If you want to get to this place and graduate to that level to join me, then I’d love to help you get there, so please click on this link.

I really hope that this has made sense and inspired you to know that you are more powerful than you can ever imagine. That’s what this is about and this is your evolution. So until the next time, keep smiling, keep healing and keep thriving because there’s nothing else to do.

As always, I look forward to your comments below.