Today I want to reach out to you to give you hope – regarding how you can heal the five areas of your life that are severely impacted by narcissistic abuse – your emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, and financial health.
At the beginning of this article, I want to validate you with a deep dive into what has happened to you, why healing has been such a struggle, and to help you understand that you are not going crazy, nor are you defective, helpless, hopeless and unable to heal.
Then, as a result of taking you with me on this journey of information today, I hope that you can deeply feel the truth about how it is possible to heal for real from within.
The Reality Of Narcissistic Abuse
Being a victim of narcissistic abuse is horrifying. Terrible. Painful. It affects everything in your life, and the most frightening aspect of it is that it affects YOU. Your emotions, thoughts and your ability to function in everyday events, much less put back together the shattered pieces of your life.
We have all heard the expression “time heals all wounds”, and that is true for many things, yet for severe trauma that has impacted a person’s Inner Being, this doesn’t seem to be the case. I attest to this.
Previously (before the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program healing processes) I was shocked at how “time” wasn’t helping me heal. Over many years, and working with so many people from all over the world I have consistently seen many people, even decades after leaving a narcissist, not get better either.
In relation to the “time” theory, many people will tell you that healing from narcissistic abuse will take a great deal of time. I was told this as well. Now I know this is a false premise. Time is not the determinant of healing, healing itself is, and I promise you that healing can be rapid when you know how to heal the right way.
People will even tell you that the best you can do is try to find a way to manage your abuse symptoms, such as Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, for the rest of your life. This is just NOT true. I am living proof of this, as are thousands of people from all over the world who once were crippled with these symptoms and who no longer have them.
Let’s look more deeply at what happens to you emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and financially as a result of narcissistic abuse.
Narcissistic Abuse Symptoms
What is terrifying about narcissistic abuse is that you start to experience a breakdown of your emotions, body and nervous system in a way that you may never have experienced before.
Firstly, you start to feel anxious and then depressed. Confused and triggered. These kaleidoscopes of negative emotions escalate into feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, shame and even panic attacks. At the times of trying to reason with a narcissist, hold them accountable for shocking behaviour and uphold some of your own rights, you may feel so triggered that you feel paralysed, lifeless, or literally fighting for your sanity and life.
This takes a terrible toll. You absolutely are suffering from Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, meaning that it is not safe to be YOU. Unlike a traumatic event that happens then is over, that you can recover from, this traumatic pummelling keeps happening; and as the abuse deepens, it intensifies in severity and frequency.
Of course, you then experience a diminishing of your Life Force, hope and enjoyment in your personal relationships, interests, and missions. All of your Life Force that used to be available for self-expression and creativity has now been hijacked to try to emotionally survive.
You become withdrawn, isolated, cut off. Many people may not understand what you are going through. How can they when they have never experienced the spiritual war of narcissistic abuse? How can they when the narcissist has also usually been grooming these people to think “how wonderful this person is!”
Many people suffer agoraphobia, as a result of narcissistic abuse. A fear of being out in life. It may feel almost impossible to do. No longer do you feel safe to be in your body and in life, as yourself.
Then the body starts breaking down, as the emotional and nervous system is being continually “fried”, and you feel outer support is slipping away, and you are losing the ability to support yourself. Things like adrenal malfunctions, hair loss, fibromyalgia and flare ups of any previous illnesses or susceptibilities you have ever had occur and are common as your immune system continues to break down.
To make matters worse, you may be experiencing wild unhealthy swings with food, sleep and choices of trying to medicate away the pain and fear that you are experiencing. Maybe you can’t sleep without nightmares, or you are so depressed you are sleeping all the time. You may be totally turned off food, or eating extremely unhealthy comfort foods. Perhaps you are overindulging in caffeine, nicotine, alcohol or other drugs or unhealthy addictive pastimes as a way to try to numb out and cope.
All of which are making you sicker.
Financially you start to be impacted. You may be too sick to work or are under threat of losing your job. It is likely that the narcissist is siphoning out your money and resources anyway – because that is what they do. Maybe the narcissist has grabbed control of the finances and taken away your ability to earn or have access to funds. The narcissist will have already sealed up or will be trying to work matters to their favour, so that when the relationship collapses, he or she will try to get as much of the assets as possible and potentially leave you with nothing, or even worse – all of the debt.
With no justice and ability to make the narcissist stop behaving like a narcissist, your self-worth and confidence drains away. It seems that no one is coming to help – not your friends and family. Not the legal system and not the authorities. Rather, in most cases, they have been turned on you by the narcissist and there are others who the narcissist has been able to procure as minions to further assault you.
Now, this is where the compromise to your Inner Identity has taken place – your compromised beliefs about self, life and others.
Of course, your Inner Identity believes its “truths” about the horror story you are living. “I’m not safe.” “People are evil.”, “How am I going to survive this?”, “I’m being annihilated”, “I can never recover”, “I’ll never rebuild”, “The people I love destroy me”, “I can’t trust anyone.”… and the list goes on and on.
This is where the level of true damage and previously failed recoveries is taking place – because when our Inner Identity believes such things and has these beliefs glued into place with strong emotional energetic charges, then this is the driver of our life. It is the literal inner engine that is creating our life.
From this place within, the almighty power of the subconscious says, “That’s the program and that is what your Life is now.” This means what you feel, then think, then attract, then participate in is exactly that subconscious program. As long as those traumas are still stuck inside your Inner Being then life can and only ever will be “more of the same”.
That being the case, in the old way of trying to deal with narcissistic abuse, there is only the possibility of trying to find someone to take away your pain (which usually brings someone else to deliver even more pain) or numb yourself out with medication or addictions, or try to hide out as a hermit away from “life”, but this really means just locking down with the inner demons that are tearing you apart on the inside anyway.
I understand. I initially tried all three of these methods to try to get relief – but none of them worked – because significant unhealed Inner Identity trauma does not go away.
That was until I discovered the truth about how to heal from narcissistic abuse.
Healing The Subconscious Programs
You are your subconscious programs. What you believe at a deep level is your “beingness”. This is inside you, in your body, in the cells of your body. It’s NOT what you are trying to think in your head.
“New thinking” can work for us when we don’t have powerfully installed subconscious programs. The aspects of our life that we have strong emotional feelings connected with, when we think of them, are the topics of our life that we have the most impacted subconscious programs with. This means you are already programmed, that your life is on a trajectory that no amount of “thinking” or “doing” can get you free of.
Why? Because your thinking is following your body – your subconscious programming – we call this “obsession” or “stinking thinking” or “analysis paralysis”. It means, as hard as you try to “think free” you will keep defaulting back to thinking ABOUT the trauma. Your thinking can only be within the bandwidth of the trauma.
The same is exact for your “doing”. Your actions and decisions will also be impacted and fall within the range of the trauma. It’s impossible for us to do better, until we get better and getting better has to start on the inside.
Getting better happens by shifting your beingness out of the trauma. Then your thinking and doing will automatically follow.
Let’s look at the five symptoms of narcissistic abuse – in order – which can be healed.
Number One – Healing Emotional Symptoms
As a result of releasing internal trauma (what hurts the most right now), space and healing can enter. This means that things stop hurting. Your emotions start to be relieved of the painful emotional feelings in your body – the anxiety, depression, panic and other debilitating emotions such as resentment, despair, anger, heartbreak, shame and powerlessness. You literally have the ability to shift all of these painful emotions out with the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) and start to live free of them.
With the Quanta Freedom Healing shifts in NARP, what comes into your emotional self to replace where those traumas previously were, is good feelings of relief, like you are going to survive this, and organic feelings of “Life Force”, hope, inspiration and even joy. These occur even without any outer evidence to “give” you these. Rather you just start having them.
This then leads on to a flow-on effect to better thinking. Let’s examine this.
Number Two – Healing Mental Symptoms
Your brain follows your body. Once the emotions within you are released and are replaced with stable, solid, calm feelings of peace, then your mind settles down to reciprocate this shift.
Where you previously had terrible feelings of being victimised, devastated, betrayed (and the list is endless), and the matching thoughts, as the feelings evaporate so do the thoughts about this.
When you try to think about “what happened” (all the things that you previously obsessively couldn’t stop thinking about) it is like you are thinking about someone else – like it happened to someone else and there is no longer any emotional charge on it. It becomes really difficult to go into the story anymore because it just doesn’t matter – you would rather think about other things.
This is because your mind now has space and energy for new concepts, new ideas, “what’s next” after paralysis analysis and traumatised thinking.
Have you ever heard the expression, “Just let it go?” You can’t do this mentally no matter how hard you try to “decide” to do it! However, because you did let it go out of your body, this is why you are now free of feeling and thinking it – because that internal trauma just isn’t in your Inner Identity anymore.
It is no longer WHO you are.
Now let’s look at why and how you can physically start healing as well.
Number Three – Healing Physical Symptoms
Previously your emotional trauma was attacking all of your physical systems. Your nervous and immune systems were breaking down under the toxic load of terrible feelings and thinking. Also, when suffering extreme trauma we tend to choose substances and pastimes that are in the bandwidth of the trauma – toxic and unhealthy. Things like poor food and unhealthy addictions.
Health issues like fibromyalgia, adrenal malfunction, and all sorts of physical maladies occur as a result of internalised impactful trauma. In fact, I will go as far as to say, I personally believe all dis-ease has an emotional unhealed root to it.
Now that these traumas are being shifted out and are no longer regurgitating toxins with obsessional thinking, this means space, oxygen and nutrients can enter your cells. Healing can enter. Also, when we get better, we do better. It’s organic. We want to choose healthier food, pastimes and people in our lives. We seek health solutions and positive solutions start to come into focus.
Your physical body has an incredible ability to heal, when granted the right conditions.
I and many others healed conditions (which simply melted away) that we were told were unhealable. Things like chronic adrenal malfunctions and fatigues, psychotic breakdowns (literal brain damage), C-PTSD, fibromyalgia and many other nasty physical side effects of narcissistic abuse that are too many to mention.
Many people within our community were so physically sick with dis-ease they were bed bound and unable to physically operate. Many of these people who healed with NARP are now more physically happy and healthy than they have ever been in their entire life. This is true for myself as well.
I have seen, in this community people completely heal from illnesses they were told to make end of life plans for, as a result of releasing traumas in their body that were generating these conditions.
Now let’s look at the flow on, as to how spiritually you can heal.
Number Four – Healing Spiritual Symptoms
One of the most powerful aspects of healing from narcissistic abuse, is the understanding that this is a spiritual war. Narcissists are a False Self. False Gods. False Light. We cling to them because we believe that they are our “Source” and that we can’t exist without them.
The entire spiritual lesson for us is to let go of “false idols” and come home to ourselves and True Source – our own Higher Power which you may want to call “God” or “Source” or “Creation” (the Higher Power of your choice).
Then you can be “self-defined” rather than handing over your power to outside forces and be defined by them.
By releasing the traumas in our body regarding the narcissist, and what they have smashed within us, we release those parts that were holding a False Source responsible. This is all the pain, loss and fractures relating to another person not granting us (or destroying) what we can generate (as adults) for ourselves through our own True Soul / Source power and authenticity.
As children we were powerless and co-dependent. As adults we can heal and grow ourselves up, from the inside, beyond continuing to hand our power, truths and values away to abusers.
This is the spiritual hero’s and heroine’s True Journey that narcissists bring us to our knees to face, like no other.
By committing to healing ourselves to escape the hell of narcissists and return to our true intended state, then we come “home”. We feel whole. We know True Love and acceptance. No longer are we anxiously trying to get our salvation from False Sources outside of ourselves. Through this spiritual wholeness we can connect to our own deservedness and truths and make much more conscious and healthy choices in our lives.
Now let’s look at the flow in our everyday practical lives.
Number Five – Healing Financial Symptoms
Through my own Thriver Recover, and a return to True Source, as well as viewing the progress of thousands of others globally, this I know – consistent real-life compensation occurs to those who understand “True Value”, which is the value of our Soul.
So many of us held on to narcissists for the wrong reasons. This was the co-dependency of, “I need you to get this (whatever it is we weren’t creating / generating ourselves) for me.” We put bricks and mortar and finances above the valuing of our Inner Beings – our Souls.
Thriver recovery is about putting our Soul first, aligning with that and working on our true relationship with True Source. It is the embodiment of, “You are NOT my Source. True Source is!”
And … the healing of my Soul and coming home to True Source is my goal. Much MORE than what feeds my personality (stuff I hope to get from you).
The people who I know who made this their highest priority – inner peace, freedom and coming home to a love and acceptance of self and Source (without “stuff”) were then able to start generating incredible prosperity in their life.
Not because they NEEDED it to get inner peace, happiness and wholeness. Rather, because they were already BEING inner peace, wholeness and happiness, and were then able to expand into more creativity, purpose, joy, energy and power than ever before.
This time it was authentic.
I personally know so many people (myself included) who lost everything to narcissistic abuse, made peace with the losses, accepting the gift of the spiritual lesson, came home to their own Souls and Source, then re-kickstarted with more abundance, joy and success than they ever believed was possible for them.
Here is the absolute truth – if it hadn’t been for narcissistic abuse and Thriver Recovery such prosperity would not have been possible for them – because up until this time they were trying to survive and create wealth from a place of lack and fear. It had never been as a result of their Source / Soul partnership.
Wow – this was in depth! Hopefully all of this information has not confused you, and instead has helped you understand that healing is a flow-on organic process when you start to get well.
Getting well means getting that trauma out of your body. And replacing it with Life Force. Some call this Letting Go and Letting God.
Or … moving from Darkness to Light.
Or … moving from Fear to Love.
After discovering this way to heal, over a decade ago, I have no idea how it could be possible any other way, and I no longer even try to.
I’d love to show you how to live this life too with NARP and my incredible global NARP Community who help hold you and help you every step of the way.
For more details about NARP and my Quanta Freedom Healing methods please check out my free 2-part Masterclass.
Does this article give you hope? If you are already working with NARP, have you started to see shifts in your emotional, mental, physical, spiritually and financial health? Has this been a good check-in for you to see where you are at with your healing?
I’d love to hear from you below.