Ending a relationship with the narcissist can be devastating for your heart and soul.
I completely understand, because once upon a time, I felt this pain so significantly that I thought I would never recover.
The reason was that I was completely convinced that this relationship was meant to be – it wasn’t! Today, I know a completely different truth.
A truth, that ended up being even more gratifying, fulfilling and incredibly revolutionary for me.
I hope that the information that I share with you, will help set you free into relief, and your power and glory as well.
I know that being with the narcissist can feel so right!
And, the struggle in these relationships is so gut-wrenching and confusing, because this person feels “so meant to be”.
Yet, I promise you that this is NOT the truth.
And, rather than this being such a devastation and disappointment to you, it is my deepest wish that today’s Thriver TV episode brings you incredible relief and freedom instead.
As well as the power to be able to let go and move on into your True Self and Life.
Okay, so before I get into this really important information, I’d like to thank all of you who have subscribed to my channel for supporting the Thriver mission. And remind you, if you haven’t yet done so, please do. Also, make sure that if you like this video that you give it a thumbs up.
Okay, so now let’s get started on this episode.
Why Does the Bond Feel “So Right”?
In many ways, the connection in the journey with the narcissist was meant to be (I’ll explain more about this later) … but this doesn’t mean that this person was supposed to LAST in your life.
It also doesn’t mean that you were meant to succeed in creating a healthy, happy and safe relationship with this person.
Relationships are such a powerful contextual field. The greatest lessons, evolution, and healing that we will ever experience, absolutely happens with people who are impactful in our life.
This may be a parent, or some other significant family member, such as a sibling who we would dearly love to have a beautiful relationship with.
Narcissists come in many shapes and forms, including intimate partners and spouses, as well as impactful people like business partners or bosses or even friends.
Or the narcissist may be someone who intimidates us, such as an authority figure or even a neighbour.
One thing is for sure, this person is not someone who we can easily dismiss, walk away from or just “get over”. Generally, narcissistic abuse comes with lots of entanglement, pain and heartbreak as well as the fear of repercussions.
Often, there is a lot on the line.
And, it is incredibly normal, when entangled with a narcissist to have the feeling that this is “meant to be”. That somehow you are meant to make things right and fix this relationship.
Or, your life will be impossible if you somehow don’t sort this out. It may be because you feel there is so much to lose if you don’t; all the things that you have worked so hard for all of your life, your property, resources, children, or the hope of love that you always believed that you could or should be receiving from this person.
Your connection to the narcissist may be fraught with necessity, obligation and responsibility. Or just downright fear.
But does this mean that the issues are meant to be brought to reconciliation with this person?
Or, really, is this journey forcing us to be released from our fears and limitations and truly anchor into honouring our own soul, regardless of what somebody else is or isn’t doing?
Your Inner Truth
We have been taught to assess our life logically. To look at our goals and what it is that we wish to achieve and then generate that life with the available resources that we have in life.
Maybe that is what you have been trying to do with the narcissist.
You may be trying to make this person act sanely, sensibly and decently. You may be lecturing and prescribing to them and trying to assert boundaries and even hold this person accountable.
Yet the twists and lies continue to abuse you and break you and your life apart.
When this happens, your Inner Being starts to disintegrate.
Which means that emotionally you become a wreck. You start to experience anxiety and depression, and even panic attacks triggered by not knowing what is going to happen next.
You are also battling the fact that somehow, it’s all spun back on you and made out to be your fault.
And, like myself (as well as all of us) realising the insanity of trying to make sense of this, whilst trying to explain fundamental basic human decency to someone who refuses to “get it”, is mental.
It’s also intensely emotional. We get sick. We break down. And then everything in our life that matters, as well as the people we love, start to break down as well.
Is it worth it?
Of course, it isn’t, and deep down, if we are honest with ourselves, we know this. Yet, it can feel impossible to let go of the belief that somehow we are meant to work this out, and/or “this is meant to be”.
I really want you to know, as compelling as this feels, it is not the truth. Your mind would love it to be the truth because this is the version of life that you’ve decided needs to be fulfilled, yet your Inner Being is screaming at you to wake up to just how traumatic and wrong this is.
I promise you that the truth of your life is coming from your emotional Inner Being. That is the part of you that is your God Self. It is your truth. Your truth is not what your mind would like it to be. And, until you start the self-partnering journey of healing from the inside out, as a Thriver Recovery, you may not have realised, yet, how true this is.
I know I certainly didn’t.
Are Other People Supposed to Grant us Safety, Love and Happiness?
I was determined and incredibly focused on fixing my marriage and making what I had convinced myself was “meant to be”, work.
I believed he was meant to love me. I believed he was meant to get well, treat me well, and be the man who I had decided was needed for me to be safe, loved and happy.
I was wrong.
I was horribly wrong.
And I hadn’t realised until my Thriver Recovery, that this had been a false premise that I have been hanging onto my entire life – that certain people needed to be a certain way, and treat me in a certain fashion in order for me to be happy and whole.
I hadn’t realised that this had caused me to hand my power away, so many times, in many areas of my life. In business, friendships, family relationships and even with authorities, as well as drastically in love relationships.
I had been defining myself from people outside of myself, rather than truly knowing how to be self-definitive and self-generative within myself.
And the reason, I hadn’t as yet “got it” was because my relationship with me wasn’t as yet healed.
As soon as I started to turn inwards to attend to the loving and the healing of my screaming, traumatised Inner Being back to wholeness, the entire truth started to drop into place.
As well as the reclaiming of myself, whereby I knew that he wasn’t meant to be my saviour. He was my messenger, forcing me to become my own healer and saviour.
Then, finally, everything in my life started to become healthy, safe and happy.
Your True Life After Narcissistic Abuse
I really want to share with you what your True Life looks like, and what is possible if you detach from the narcissist, turn inwards and start doing your Thriver Healing.
It is a life where you are connected to yourself deciding who and what is a match for you from the truth of your Inner Being, rather than looking out at people regarding who you should be or how you should behave.
You are able to be authentic, truthful and firmly grounded in what is or isn’t right for you.
Plus, you can back yourself enough to have the courage to speak up, have the difficult conversations, ask for clarification where necessary, and risk people not agreeing with you, or liking you as your authentic self.
Then, no more are you rolling around with disrespectful, painful and abusive people trying to get them to love and accept you or provide you with security or survival.
You can wake up every day of your life feeling safe in your body, safe in life and excited about being able to healthily make your choices, as well as have the inner solidness and integrity to know how to disengage, let go and walk away from those and that which doesn’t match your truth and limits.
The beauty of your True Self and Life is that it is no longer precariously poised on what a certain person is or isn’t doing, regardless of who this person is and “who” they are supposed to be in your life.
Rather it is being generated from WHO you are Being.
What you will discover, as a result of having a congruent, authentic and honest relationship with yourself, is that your life itself starts becoming congruent and aligned with the truth of you.
Your relationships up-level, they become anchored in honesty, integrity and care.
Your missions, purpose and opportunities increase.
Synchronicity starts to partner with you authentically. You’re in the right place at the right time and open to new possibilities.
You are so much more able to easily avoid the wrong turns in your life because no longer are you trying to turn crumbs into cookies.
You have expanded and opened up to a plenty and an abundance mindset, rather than a poverty and limited consciousness.
I can’t tell you the release you will experience when you will finally burst free into this trajectory that is your True Self.
I want you to know, with all my heart, that it was my recovery from narcissistic abuse that delivered me to that place.
Without having had been brought to my knees, and forced to release my traumas, limitations and previous abuse patterns, I would never have arrived there.
Because up until then, I had never had to face and heal these things.
This is what Thriver Recovery is all about; it is about meeting and releasing the trauma that has been horrifically triggered within you, to finally go free from it.
That is when you will know how “meant to be” this journey is.
If you understand what I’m sharing with you in this episode, I want you to pause this video and write “The truth of why this was meant to be, has set me free!”
I absolutely validate that you are initially going to be feeling the incredible pain, heartbreak and even intense addiction to the narcissist.
And, I want you to know that these hideous, all-consuming feelings are so common with narcissistic abuse.
But, I also want you to know that there is a true healing solution for them that will grant you relief and clarity and power very quickly if you dedicate yourself to your Thriver Recovery.
In my free webinar, I can connect you to exactly how to achieve this, as well as allow you to experience a Quanta Freedom Healing directly in your body, to understand how this profound healing system can work for you.
So, I really hope that this episode has explained to you what is really meant to be as a result of your connection to the narcissist.
Namely, you finally coming home to yourself.
And I can’t wait to help you get on this trajectory.
Okay, so, if you liked this video, please hit the like button and also share it with the people who you know need this information.
And, as always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.