After abuse, we feel unattractive. How could we not suffer this when the abuse assaulted us on multiple levels? You lose self-esteem, energy and the motivation to do the most basic survival tasks, let alone look after yourself.
For many of us, trying to be “attractive” was terrifying. What if that brought unwanted, abusive attention? Or maybe because of feeling lonely, replaced and abandoned, we hoped to “get back out there” and find someone who would love us. Yet these actions only brought more feelings of unworthiness.
After abuse and growing into my New and True Self, I wanted to be attractive but in a different way. A way that reflected loving and accepting myself and was all about nourishing myself into shape rather than punishing myself.
Plus, I didn’t want to have to spend hours on my well-being, health and attractiveness. Rather I wanted quick and powerful “less is best” practices, which meant my life was simplified, leaving time for all the juicy creation stuff of Thriving in life!
I had to confront and heal my pain and limiting beliefs which used to make “honing my attractiveness” self-damaging and had led to me being objectified by others – specifically narcissists.
In the last ten-plus years, I have seen women, after abuse, make incredible transformations from the inside out, where they go from feeling completely unattractive and unlovable to gorgeous and magnetic regardless of age, weight or body shape.
They draw attention and attract high vibrational people wherever they go – reflecting the well-being that is oozing out of them!
Maybe YOU are ready to rock this too!
I’m very excited to share some powerful tips and shifts with you today to help you access true Thriver Beauty from the inside out.
Reversing Toxic Health and Results with Food
After abuse, we are clogged up with trauma: the trauma of the abuse, plus the abuse we do to ourselves trying to survive the abuse. Our go-tos to numb out the pain may be junk food (or no food), sugar, alcohol, pills, cigarettes, toxic people, too much phone and screen time, and so on. Not only do we not receive the nutrition and oxygen in our cells for them to function healthily, but we may also look in the mirror and see extra pounds and wrinkles or saggy skin. Our hair could be falling out. We feel depressed, anxious and overwhelmed. Perhaps we have very poor sleep quality.
Even after Thriver Recovery, you may still not have the best of nutrition habits, or be unsure how certain tweaks are going to be life changing for you. You may have yet to experience how incredibly your body and appearance can respond when you start nourishing yourself with food in the right ways.
Did you know that the right nutrition is vital to create your New Self – the Self you are dedicated to becoming as the best possible version of you – the Self that Source / God / Creation intended you to be?
Toxicity and inflammation are the enemies. They block your spiritual, emotional and mental growth and physically inflame your brain, vital organs and nervous system. You can’t heal your way out of narcissistic abuse and spiritually progress upwards from a bad diet. It is vital to combine nutrition with the inner work.
Things like sugar, processed foods and too much alcohol are bad habits and cause widespread collateral damage. Whole foods and some specific foods help so much with reducing inflammation and starting to heal the damage.
Our bodies are incredible machines that know how to repair themselves if we grant them the right fuel. Healthy bodies lose and maintain a healthy weight. Learning to source and eat healthily grants you delicious meals that truly satiate you, and nourishing your body becomes a self-love ritual that deepens your connection to yourself.
How you treat yourself with food also becomes the template for your attraction of genuine, whole others.
Your Quantum Makeover Mantra Number 1 –
“As I release toxicity from within emotionally, spiritually and physically, the Light buried in my darkness will activate. I will heal, rise and claim the nourished version of myself who is attractive in wholesome ways.”
Moving Your Body Towards Ascension
We are spirits in a human flesh suit – a body – that optimally will carry us healthily and energetically through life, even as we age. Our body is a vessel that we can be proud of.
How I moved my body with exercise after abuse, and as I aged, has become transformational and inspirational. Before Thriver Recovery from narcissistic abuse, I was so sick and depressed that I couldn’t face exercising, or I would try to smash myself into shape with too much unsustainable exercise. You may relate to this “all or nothing” type of behaviour.
I was obsessed with weight and tried extreme dieting or exercise to control it. Now I know how to work in a kind, enjoyable and holistic way where my body no longer fights back, and responds by flowing into a healthy shape.
Many of us, because of stress and being menopausal, have insulin resistance and too much inflammation to lose weight, no matter how hard we try to diet and exercise. Much gentler exercise, done in the right way (less is often best), creates a much easier, healthier, nurturing path to body victory. For example, I could do “exercise” in the passenger seat of Alena Star Bus whilst we travelled around Australia!
Letting go of doing gruelling cardio granted me a body, mind, and intuition connection to assist my growth and spiritual ascension and shape my body more effectively with much less effort.
Tackling the painful patterns and beliefs holding you back from exercise success helps so much with your body goals! Without your trauma, you can finally create the perfect exercise routine for YOU – so enjoyable that you will look forward to performing it. Not only that, but the physical and psychological effects of your new routine can become a virtuous circle because seeing the change in how you look and feel will encourage you to keep going.
Your Quantum Makeover Mantra Number 2 –
“As I move in ways that I love, my body will love this, and I will love my body. I will feel and look flexible, strong and trim – naturally and healthily.”
Adorning Yourself to Feel Confident and Attractive
A large part of “attractiveness” is about presenting ourselves with hair, makeup and fashion. After being broken down by abuse, you lose a sense of yourself and may struggle to connect to expressing your appearance in the world.
Showing up authentically is all about the outside matching the inside – but what if you still need that inner standing? Without a solid sense of self, it’s hard, if not impossible, to have your own style – how to choose between clothes and cosmetics when you cannot be sure of your likes and dislikes?
Not only that, but, you may have painful programmed beliefs about taking care of yourself in this way. For example, women can believe it is vain, selfish and wasteful to wear make-up, get their nails done, or follow fashion. Or maybe you have a fear of being seen whilst adorning yourself. What if this brings too much or unwanted attention? On the other hand, you may believe you are only acceptable if you are perfectly presented and living up to the beauty standard of the day.
When you unpick and unravel these beliefs, then learn how to powerfully and expertly reverse them, you will experiment and find your style so that your outside can reflect who you are on the inside.
Imagine how it will be when you can show up in Life as even more of Who You Are, in full glowing radiance! It is so powerful to follow your heart into the look that makes your soul sing!
Sharing and discussing skincare tips, beauty tricks, and hairdo know-how is also so much fun. I adore it when women support and celebrate each other’s beauty!
Your Quantum Makeover Mantra Number 3 –
“As I adorn myself with my own individual look and style, my inner power and beauty will be uniquely shared with the world.”
I truly hope that this article has granted you inspiration and hope, and that you are feeling inspired to create a New You after abuse.
Now, you have the perfect opportunity to make yourself your own dedicated masterpiece, emotionally, spiritually and physically from the inside out.
My brand new upcoming 4-week course, Quantum Makeover, is called “Quantum” because it is the inner piece of the process. It grants you the self-examination, awareness and healing shifts from the inside that will enable you to activate your desire and commitment to making the changes needed to get into the “makeover” part.
Which is going to be so much fun to share with you!
This Course kicks off next week, on Tuesday 30th May 2023!
Please don’t worry if you can’t make any of these four online classes Live, as you will receive all your program materials – recordings, healings and workbooks – to keep for life. And the Live group healings are just as effective in replay.
Are you ready to claim your New Look along with your New Life? Let me know in the comments below – I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!