What is Real Love and how do you find it after narcissistic abuse?
In this Thriver’s Life episode I will share my way to fill up with Love every single day, even when life is not giving you a reason to!
Please note that this is not just some fluffy, gratitude-based video!
It’s realistic and totally anchored in truth.
Welcome to today’s Thriver’s Life episode, regarding how to create your highest and best life after narcissistic abuse.
Today I want to talk to you about how I fill my life with Love every single day.
But don’t be mistaken, this is not some fluffy new-age speech.
Because life isn’t always about everything being just sweet, wonderful and lovely.
That’s actually not what Love is.
Love is more realistic than that.
I do hope that sharing my journey of experiencing profound Love can help inspire you to know that Love is the supreme force, no matter what our circumstances may look like.
And, of course, that’s not always easy to know.
Okay, so before we launch into this topic, I’d like to thank all of you who have subscribed to my channel. Your support for the Thriver mission is so appreciated. Also please remember to like this video if it speaks to you, and to share with others whom you know could benefit from it.
Okay, on to today’s episode!
What is Love Really?
So much of my alignment with life, to experience real Love, is spiritual.
I’m talking about a Higher Power, because this is where I have found the consistent, never wavering stream of Love and well-being that is my life. This doesn’t mean that I’m religious, or that I have a connection with any particular higher deity.
Rather, I believe that “God” or what you may call “Consciousness” or “Creation” (or any denominational deity of your choice) is everywhere and in all things.
Another name for this Force is Love, which is also everywhere and in all things. Additionally, this Force is benevolent, acting “for” us and not “to” us.
I didn’t always believe this. Previously I believed this Force had turned its back on me and was punishing me.
Since Thriving, I know this Force is always partnering with me, granting me what I need to become more loving, even though my personality (especially when it used to be in control of my life) is annoyed at not getting what I think I want.
I have discovered, that when people and situations are not reflecting Love back to me and I’m judging this as unloving, instead of seeing the deeper purpose behind it, I struggle to Love myself, and others, as well as life itself.
To me, Love is more about “letting go” rather than trying to “be” loving.
Let me explain …
The letting go is the dropping of judgement, letting go of blame and shame. Letting go of victimised feelings and believing that life has somehow got this wrong.
Love is acceptance.
That there is a purpose to what is happening, no matter how it seems.
Via the Quantum Truth – so within, so without, life is always reflecting back to us more of ourselves – the unhealed parts of ourselves, or the parts of ourselves that are stuck in fear and trauma and are handing our power away and have not yet claimed the true power of authentic Love for Who We Really Are.
Trying to “be” Love is ineffective. Usually, this leads to trying to earn love. The real truth is we already ARE Love. We don’t have to try to “be” Love. We already are a part of All That Is, which IS LOVE.
And we automatically remember this in a coded truth when we let go of all the judgements and traumas that have kept us stuck in unconsciousness. Meaning, the disconnection from our true essence.
As soon as we start to release the trauma that is Not Who We Are, we reset back to Who We Really Are, organically.
And that is, Love.
I promise you, it took me decades of my life to understand this, but the real job is to return to Love, to know ourselves as All of Creation knows us.
Love is not something that we cultivate, it naturally arises as a result of letting go of the trauma, false beliefs and lies that have stopped us knowing and being ourselves.
A Deeper Look at Real Love
We may have been indoctrinated to believe that Love is sweet and innocent and always gentle.
Real love is truthful, it is based in honest authenticity.
Love can be fierce.
Real Love makes the hard and tough decisions, such as having the difficult conversations, confronting, laying boundaries and stating, “This situation and person is not my reality. I am loving enough within myself not to try to change or force someone to be what I need them to be in order to be happy”.
Real Love releases. Love sets free.
Love does not seek to cling, control or change or force anything.
Love, when basking in authenticity, has no need to.
Love inspires people and situations which have the capacity to Love.
Most of all, real Love does not hold others responsible for one’s own feelings and life.
Real Love knows that loving one’s self is between self and one’s higher wisdom (power) and that all Love comes from there.
My Daily Love Routine
This is how my life goes every day … like this …
I either have beautiful heart-warming experiences, or not.
I am completely orientated and dedicated to the following – being self-partnered regardless of what my experiences are. Because that is what real Love is all about.
And, if I have an experience that throws me out of my self-partnered wholeness, then I am fully dedicated to reaching inside my being with Quanta Freedom Healing (NARP), finding the corresponding trauma within me that is triggered and releasing it and then bringing in more of Source (my Higher Power) to replace where the trauma once was.
This effectively midwives this breakdown straight through to a breakthrough.
Then I immediately feel my inner wholeness again, even better than before this up levelling opportunity.
And, if there are no triggers, then I just get to enjoy my wholeness and an incredible flow and gratitude for the amazing things that unfold each and every day in my life, no matter how big or small.
I have zero preference for either scenario. Each is equally blessed and blissful!
None of this “being love” is an effort. None of this “feeling loved” needs to be strived for. That’s just what being self-partnered and orientated towards inner wholeness brings.
That is my simple daily Love routine.
Since living life by this partnered formula every day, this is what I’ve discovered about Love.
I have no expectation, necessity or requirement for anything nice to happen for me to be loving or feel Love.
Love just is.
And, real Love between self and life does not mean that you are an island who will not connect with other people.
What I discovered is that the more healthily self-partnered I became, the more Love, connection and approval flooded into my life, which of course was more of my own self- partnering.
Because truly, everything is interconnected, as One … in Love.
When the Need is Gone, Love Arrives
Before I used Quanta Freedom Healing (NARP) as my daily self-partnering tool, I did constantly get triggered, and would often require my expectations to be filled, in order to try to feel good about myself.
My life was precariously poised on what other people thought of me and how they treated me. If people weren’t loving me then I didn’t know how to feel lovable or be Love.
This is what I now know – when you are dedicated to your wholeness, there is absolutely no need for anyone or anything to come for you to feel whole, because you already are.
The complete and utter irony of all of this is that we used to believe that we had to get things in order to feel whole.
Rather, it is the wholeness anchored in Love, which really just means freeing ourselves to be our True Self without trauma, that makes the doing and the getting of Love and extension of who we are already Being, effortless.
I really believe that when you no longer need something and you’re not terrified about losing it, you have the greatest freedom to generate it, attract it, maintain it and actually fully enjoy it.
That is what Love does and is.
I really hope that this episode has made a lot of sense to you, and that you can deeply feel the cellular truth of it in your body.
Because that is where your truth does speak to you.
If you know that this is your time to return to Love, to Who You Really Are, then I’d Love to take you by the hand and show you how.
It’s so much more pure and simple than you may think, and nowhere near as scary as you may imagine.
And if you enjoy this video please give it a thumbs up, and remember if you haven’t yet subscribed to my channel please do so that you are notified about my two new videos each week.
As always, I am so looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.
And, please know I Love You.
And, remember after narcissistic abuse we take our life so much further. Because we can!