What Do Narcissistic Abuse And Ascension Have In Common?

What Do Narcissistic Abuse And Ascension Have In Common?

Today I’m going to talk to you about a very “now” and “relevant” topic, ascension and what I believe it is, and we will explore the question “What does narcissistic abuse have to do with ascension?”

The answer I can confidently grant you is – everything.

And today, I’m going to fill in specific gaps as to why this is the truth.


What Is Meant By The Term “Ascension”?

You may or may not have heard the word “ascension”. What does it mean?

Many people discuss it as humankind moving from a Third Dimensional (also known as 3D) existence into a Fifth Dimensional (also known as 5D) reality.

Many people discuss it as humankind breaking free from the mere five senses and believing that life happens “to” them from the outside in – to understanding that they are a fractal of Source, capable of higher frequencies, intuitions and powers and have the ability to co-create directly with Source / Higher Consciousness / The Infinite One Mind.

You may have heard about this, and naturally gravitate towards these conversations, or maybe you feel like this sounds really woohoo.

What I have discovered over the last couple of years, as the 3D – 5D narrative is becoming much more mainstream, is that there are many people in my Thrive, Super-Thrive and Quantum Dating Bootcamp Groups, as well as Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) members, (people working with Quanta Freedom Healing) who are aware of the ascension conversation and are even very focused on personally achieving it.

Like many of us, we are feeling more than ever, it’s now time to ascend.

No matter where you are on your spiritual journey, or not, I would love to share, from my heart to yours, why I believe this is such a relevant topic. Again (like last week’s topic) this is now a fast-track calling for me to come out and speak about this.

As you read this article, all I ask is for you to have an open heart and mind and relate this, if you can, to your life, because my story is yours too. Please also, check inwards with how your body feels when you read these words. Do they resonate?

I think the easiest way for me to explain what “3D to 5D” means, is to share with you my story about how I became aware of this Soul passage from personal pain to Soul and life liberation.


My Journey From 3D To 5D

Because of Thriver recovery from narcissistic abuse, I have made many incredible discoveries about myself on this topic of “ascension”.

Let me list the main observations here in my “before” and “after” story.

My previous 3D reality

  • “Life is happening to me.” (I’m a victim and powerless to outside people and things.)
  • “I am my identity props.” (Only as good as my last accomplishment, what I own, how people see me, what I have in the bank.)
  • “I have to earn love and approval.”
  • “I need people’s permission to make my life choices and ‘who’ I choose to be.”
  • “I had better not do ‘this’ or ‘that’ just in case someone disapproves of me.”
  • “Life is a battle and I have to struggle hard to succeed.”

My now 5D reality

  • “I take radical personal responsibility to know that I am the generative source of my own experience.” (If I change my inner world my outer world transforms.)
  • “I am my Soul / Source connection.” (‘Things’, ‘stuff’ and ‘how people see me’ are not my inner worth, value or wholeness.)
  • “I AM love and approval.” (Which is never reliant on someone else’s version of me.)
  • “Source is my authority to be myself.” (Regardless of what anyone else is or isn’t doing.)
  • “I am grateful for all of Life, which happens FOR me.” (Any triggers show me what to heal next to fill myself with more Light and expand into my True Self and True Life even more.)

In my 3D reality (and I promise you the same is true for you) I was not consistently happy, solid, whole and at peace, or durably inspired, joyous and free. Yes, there were “highs” – times of happiness and breakthroughs and successes, absolutely.

But (even before narcissistic abuse) there were always niggly, precarious feelings of “not being good enough”, “fear of failure”, “fear of security”, “identity crises” and constant confusion and numerous personal battles … and the list goes on and on.

I thought that was “normal”.

These are usual 3D reality feelings. But they are not “natural”.

I can’t recognize the previous 3D Melanie. I can’t even feel her previous terrible experiences. It’s like remote viewing of another person.

The truth is I am NOT that same Being. My Beingness has completely changed. And, back then, I had no idea that my continual victimisation and re-traumatisation and not being able to escape my trauma symptoms and painful patterns and battles were all coming from my unhealed inner Beingness.

I was experiencing more of this Beingness.

As the 3D victim I blamed all of my anxiety, addictions, depression, breakdowns and losses on someone or something else – the outside. I didn’t know that I had power on the inside.

Now as the 5D Beingness I am committed to and have embodied, I know how to consciously heal every area of my life (without exception) and be in life in a way that works, whereas I was previously completely perplexed, suffering and struggling.

The following stands for every single one of us … Our personal realities are NOT meant to be in painful 3D realities!

(Later in this article I am going to explain to you EXACTY why narcissistic abuse IS 3D reality!)

I promise you from my Soul to yours – it was my recovery from narcissistic abuse that was the grist that got me onto my ascension journey. I will go absolutely as far as to say that without being narcissistically abused, I would never have entered and ignited it.

This doesn’t mean I am saluting the narcissist and giving “him” the credit. I am never going to write him a gratitude letter, invite him around for wine, cheese and biscuits to say, “Because of you I ascended.”

It wasn’t “because of him”. He was a catalyst. If my Soul had not engineered this experience, as a Soul Contract, to go through the breakdown of Who I Was Being, I never would have been able to find my way back home to Who I Really Am.

My Soul, at the bigger picture 5D level, was using him for the ascension process, just as he was using me for narcissistic exploitation at the 3D level. (That’s what Soul Contracts are all about).



How Can Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Take You From 3D To 5D Reality?

I want to help us all understand – the worst things in our life are happening “for us” to bring us to that point in our lives – that rock bottom – where life can no longer go on as our limited 3D normal.

So that we have to course-correct.

Changing NEVER means changing someone else, or even what happened to us.

Changing can only ever mean – changing ourselves.

In my previous 3D viewpoint of life, I didn’t know what that meant. I thought it was about “doing” all sorts of things to get up and out of my broken life and self to “get on with it”.

Thank goodness I found the missing key. I finally realised that the necessary change was a change of consciousness. It’s spiritual. It needs to happen inside of us.

In the depths of our breakdowns with narcissistic abuse, our emotions are trashed. They are shrieking at us “Wrong Town”. We think that Wrong Town is “what is happening out there”, but we can’t change that (God knows we tried!).

Yet, our 3D mind tries to convince us to keep trying anyway, because surely this must be the answer. And we discover the more we try to control what is happening outside of ourselves and to try to feel better on the inside, the more out of control our insides become.

The real-life evidence of this result is staring us in the face. Or should I say staring us in the body – because that is where the total truth of our life is going on – in our feelings. In our Beingness.

The feelings in our body, when out of control, then lead to the “stinking thinking” of our head trying to make sense of how we are feeling, but can only think about “how we are feeling”, with no relief, solutions, power or way out of this.

Our bodies, or Beingness come first – the body leads the brain.

We can’t think our way out of trauma. The Beingness of trauma is FAR too powerful for mere thinking to rectify it (and the trauma of narcissistic abuse, as you know, is off the Richter scale!).

Let me prove this to you – say the statement “I feel devastated.”

It’s a true statement. This is a Beingness statement. It is true about WHO you are Being. Now say “I think healing, relief and solution is mine.”

Feel that statement in your body.

It’s disconnected.

It doesn’t resonate in your somatic Beingness. It doesn’t land, connect or grant you this shift.

Now say, “I feel healing, relief and solution is mine.”

Okay, this is more of a true Beingness statement because you used the word “feel”. But then the obvious arising question is “How?”. You can’t think your way there. You can’t read, research or “learn” your way logically there.

The only way is to connect to your Beingness is to do the direct communication (work) on your Beingness to get your shift.

(More about that later.)

Believing we can think our way out of inner Beingness trauma is the insanity of the 3D reality we have all been programmed with, as “the way to live.”

There is a better way to live – ascend to 5D reality.

But how do we get there?

I love the little story of Buddha – it goes something like this. Three wise men come to Buddha to try to find their divinity. Buddha says, “Go searching, and then come back.” One looks at the bottom of the deepest oceans, one at the top of the highest mountains, the other in every crevasse and corner on the planet. They all come back empty-handed. Buddha declares, “I needed you to exhaust every avenue, because only then would you hear the answer. ‘Your divinity is within’.”

Think about your situation in narcissistic abuse. You tried everything. You tried to get your “divinity” – peace, wholeness, solidness, health, love, value and worth from the narcissist (the outside). You tried to lecture, prescribe, fix, change and come up with an “outer solution” until finally you either accepted you were empty-handed and needed to look for your divinity elsewhere, or you finally broke – forcing you to find your divinity elsewhere.

Sadly, many people do not know HOW to connect to their “divinity”. They have not known the truth about their ascension path. It’s not common knowledge.

So, like I did initially, they tried everything and anything else (from the outside again) to get relief – even if they DID let go of the narcissist. Things like food, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, anything obsessive and all-consuming such as exercising, work or other addictions to numb out.

My path from 3D to 5D ascension began the day I had a psychotic and adrenal breakdown. I was told by the medical establishment that I would never recover. I was at the end of the line, I had nothing left in me to fight with. It was game over.

That day, finally, I admitted to myself that I was powerless to fix this. I didn’t let go to be saved, I let go because there was nowhere else to turn. At the time I didn’t realise that by doing this, I let go of my obsession with the narcissist, trying to fix him, change him, hold him accountable, or get him to be sorry for what he had done to me, or make amends for all of it.

That was the day my 3D controlling “outer-based” self finally got out of the way, and the first time my 5D self made itself known to me.

My 5D self showed me a vision in the future of feeling and living like I do now. I had never consciously felt those feelings before, not even in my “happiest moments”. They were feelings and the knowing I was whole, complete, powerful and I fully loved and accepted myself and felt like I “belonged” in this body and on this planet.

I was granted the information regarding WHY my life had taken the turn into narcissistic abuse that it did. I was shown that in my unconscious “outer sourcing” of my Identity “I” had been a False Self. I wasn’t a bad person, I had morals and integrity and I hated hurting other people, yet I had believed “my identity” was achievements and outer love and approval.

These are 3D False Self delusions. It wasn’t my fault I was in them, because that is what I had been taught. I had been programmed out of knowing that my love, value, worth and wholeness could only be by being in a solid, healthy relationship with myself and my Higher Power (God / Source / Creation).

Because I was disconnected from my inner wholeness with “outer seeking” 3D programming, I was seeking a False God / Idol, to be my Source, instead of my Higher Power. I was unconsciously seeking a Saviour for my own disconnection from my Higher Power.

In came the narcissist – the dire False Self. Not only are narcissists disconnected from their Higher Self, they believe they ARE God! Not a benevolent God of Unity Consciousness and Oneness, (which the true Higher Self is) but rather a False God of superiority verses inferiority. I win, you lose, and you are the tool which I will use to exploit to maintain my insatiable False Self.

In our 3D limited, fearful, separated, small construct, we seek wholeness through another, but only end up with the evidence of how broken away from our inherent wholeness we really are.

See how this works out?

Until we are so clogged up with the dark night of the Soul, that the only option, (if we wish to Soul-survive this) is to turn inwards to free ourselves from the darkness and reconnect back to our Higher Power (the Light).

In 3D reality we try to turn the darkness (the narcissist) into The Light (someone who loves us and cares for us healthily), yet the more we tackle this, the “darker” we become. We get more wounded, traumatised and broken.

It’s Wrong Town, and our Soul (via screaming emotions) is letting us know, “This hurts so much because you are getting further and further away from the embodiment of and actualisation of your Higher Self (5D reality).”

In 5D reality, we don’t try to change the darkness (narcissist), we simply pull away and work on ourselves to shed our internal darkness (triggered traumas) and fill where they were with The Light.

That is the shedding of the 3D self (false programs, beliefs and subsequent traumas) and embodiment of the 5D self, The Light (higher love, approval, wisdom, capacity, solution, healing and breakthroughs).

Now here (if you are not working with this process) is where your 3D mind will jump in and say “What does this mean?”

It means what I wrote.

I didn’t do ANYTHING other than this in my recovery – what my 5D self showed me, “If you find the way to load up, and get the trauma out of your Inner Being, and bring The Light down inside of you where that junk was, you will move out of the painful Self and Life, into your True Higher Self and Life.

As I did this process more and more I realised (re-membered) that my 5D self was Who I Already Am. Until I got the trauma out, there was no way for that connection, Oneness, communication and Self to be felt, known or was it able to guide me.

Instead, the toxic inner voice had kept me living in the outer self-identity delusional inversions of my 3D programming.


How Did I Release Trauma (3D) And Bring In My Higher Self (5D)?

All (and I literally mean “all)” I had to do was feel and let go of the internal “what hurts the most right now” and fill that space with The Light (my Higher Self) with an effective Quantum meditative technique which I was to develop, known as Quanta Freedom Healing (NARP).

That – coupled with my breakdown from narcissistic abuse – is what handed me my ascension from 3D to 5D on a silver platter. Of course, I had to accept this gift, pick it up, and diligently use it.

It was inner work. Real inner work. I still to this day do this inner work if I am triggered, and stuck, or in any pain at all. I load up the trauma generating the “issue” and release it and bring The Light of my Higher self into this place.

That is ALL I do to heal and ascend.

Now, I am so blessed to have thousands of fellow-travellers who are also actualising their ascension from 3D to 5D, as a result of narcissistic abuse, with me.

Many of you are reading this article. Some of you are my friends, colleagues and spiritual brothers and sisters in my personal Thriver Coaching Groups.

Many of you, who are not, may have had enough of the pain and are ready to take on this Soul ascension journey as well.

All of us can. It’s our birthright.

How do you feel about this article? Are you aware of ascension – do you feel like you are going through it? Have you noticed how you are being called, especially now, for this process?  How is your personal ascension going for you?

Do you want to learn more about ascension for your recovery?

Let me know in the comments below!