Why Narcissistic Abuse Hurts So Much

Why Narcissistic Abuse Hurts So Much


The pain of narcissistic abuse is beyond description.  Unless you have been through it, you can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like.

We find ourselves looking out into a life that we no longer recognise, having unspeakable inner trauma, with no idea whatsoever how we are going to stay vertical and breathing – let alone ‘deal’.

Nothing seems to make sense and everywhere we look, and everything we try sets off even more surges of pain.

Do we even know who WE are anymore? I know, initially I certainly didn’t …

Why is the pain so horrific? Why does it feel like it may never end?

And why don’t any of the things that used to bring relief work anymore?

Today I’m going to give you the 100% TRUTH about this. And I know this truth will FINALLY set you free.

If you are exhausted with the battle of trying to survive this unspeakable HURT … this is a much watch episode for you.

Because within it – is the solution …

Watch Today’s Thriver TV ….. to discover how to get up and out of the pain … forever.



Video Transcript

In this Thriver Tv Episode, I’m going to take this really Quantum and really deep. Today you are going to learn the truth.

Is the pain of narcissistic abuse to do with losing a person in our lives and what we thought they offered? No! Is the pain of narcissistic abuse about losing ourselves? That’s closer, but that answer is No as well.

Today, by watching this video you will learn exactly what the pain of narcissistic abuse IS about, and you will know exactly how to get yourself up and out of it in time frames that will astound you.

And, I know from my own recovery experience, as well as working with thousands of other people over the last 10 plus years that even the most crippling of emotional agonies can start dissolving away, very quickly when we know how to reverse the condition of narcissistic abuse effectively.

Okay, now before I go any further into this powerful and deep Quantum information today, make sure to subscribe to my channel if you haven’t already, and leave a like if you enjoy this video.

The pain of narcissistic abuse is not just like a normal relationship breakdown and breakup. The pain is obscene.


Why the Pain Is Horrific

Why is it so bad? Why doesn’t time seem to heal and why do we feel like we may be getting better and then continually, to our despair, back-slide down into the pain again?

Can you relate? If so, I want you to let me know how bad narcissistic abuse feels or has felt for you, by giving it a rating out of 10 and writing your rating as well as any other comment you’d like to share in the comment section below.

Okay, let’s get straight to the Quantum Truth of narcissistic abuse. There is so much more to it than what is obvious, it’s a psychic and soul phenomenon that goes way beyond what we may have ever experienced before.

This isn’t just about heartbreak, disappointment and loss, it’s so much more. This is feeling like your soul has been polluted beyond repair. You have no idea how you are going to survive the shards of trauma coursing through you like white-hot pokers, or how you can exist in a world that you no longer recognise, or know how to operate in.

Nothing makes sense anymore, and everything hurts. Every memory, every person, thing or situation by association, every task you try to do, every direction you try to move into, every level of existence that you try to be at. These are all the symptoms of a terrible soul sickness.

Let’s go back to the original questions that I opened this Thriver TV with. It may seem like we lost this person and what they have to offer, but truly that is only the surface level truth. It may seem like we lost ourselves in this toxic relationship. Yes, we did, but there is a deeper much more profound truth to come which is this:

We lost our connection with Source.

Which means that we have no ability to be in contact and flow with Life-force, Wellbeing, Creation, Love, Expansiveness or any of the good stuff.

There is no access to Heaven because we are living in Hell.


The Consequences of False Sources

Why has this happened to us? Because we have taken the turn into Wrongtown by assigning a False Source as our True Source, by holding another person responsible for our ‘self’, meaning our fullness of love, approval, security and survival.

When we are not Sourcing ourselves correctly, we can’t live life in our power centre from the inside out. We are instead empty on the inside and dependent on someone or someone else filling the hole for us.

Can you imagine the panic we would feel if we needed an oxygen tank from someone to breathe and they withheld it from us? Of course, we would flail around, and go crazy, trying to do everything we could to get it, until of course we would run out of air and die.

As children, we were adopting all sorts of strategies in order to get our essential ‘oxygen supply’, the love, approval, support, and survival that our Inner Identity craved to develop, and become a whole, healthy, self-actualised adult.

If strategies were needed, such as giving to get and seeking approval through accomplishments or appeasing others even when it was self-abusing to do so, we survived our childhood but didn’t heal our ‘hole’ inside to become ‘whole’.

As adults, the narcissist identified where our existing ‘holes’ still are, appearing to be the answer to filling our inner fractures with their presence and gifts, and we soaked it up like a parched field on a rainy day.

Now, that the narcissist has positioned themselves as our Source of love, approval, security, and survival which are still precarious and unsteady within us, we are enmeshed with an emotional and deep soul dependency to the narcissist.

They have become the promise of the parent that didn’t do it right last time, and even more than this, unconsciously the narcissist has even become our answer for salvation, our God. We have handed our power completely away to this person.


Remaining Unhealed

And we may not logically have assimilated any of this yet because so much of it is going on at deep levels of our Inner Being. This is about the young, underdeveloped child wanting to be held and integrated to power, wholeness, and confidence by someone else, which didn’t happen in the first place, and not knowing yet that this job now, as adults, can only be activated and achieved by ourselves.

It’s so interesting because we know that narcissists use people as narcissistic supply, we are the drug dealer to them. But when we have assigned them as our Source, then they are our drug dealer too, in powerful and deadly ways.

And, just like the oxygen tank, or drug that a junkie desperately needs, if it is withheld, or that person demands terrible conditions to be met for you to get it, or threatens to give it to someone else, the pain now soars up and off the Richter scale.

You will literally feel like you are going mad with the trauma, or that you will die.

Or if the narcissist does hand over the apparent love, approval, security, and survival that you crave, all the things that you have not as yet healed and shored up within yourself, there will be a terrible price to pay for accepting it and staying hooked on it. You can bet with every fibre of your being that the narcissist is brokering a deal with terrible agendas in their favour only, and there is no care, empathy or concern for you in this whatsoever.

Here is the deal: This False Source is giving you rubbish, only annihilating false commodities that are designed to destroy you, rather than fill and heal you, whilst the entire time the narcissist is breaking you down further and further to plunder, steal and suck dry from you all that he or she can get.

You may as well be rolling around with a blood-sucking vampire and believe its healthy and pleasurable.

There is no sanity, relief or repair coming from the narcissist, at all. It gets worse! As the abuse deepens, we get even more disconnected from True Source, and more and more focused on trying to get this False Source to do the right thing by us.

Now let’s go into the deep Quantum Truths.


What Staying Connected To False Sources Does

The more we are disconnected from Sourcing Self directly through True Source, the more it hurts. The more we try to force False Source to be our True Source the more we get destroyed.

Think, trying to relieve anxiety with cigarettes.

Think, trying to get confidence and relief with alcohol.

Think, trying to get love or approval from a narcissist.

Is this starting to make sense? If so, please let me know in the comments below.

The fact is, we can’t get wholeness from people or things outside of us because the path to True Source is between us and ourselves.

The path is within.

The more we seek it without the things and people we choose to ‘fix’ us only smash us with our feelings of emptiness, yearning, anxiety, feeling lonely, alone or abandoned, fearing annihilation, and feeling like life is too painful to exist in.

Narcissists ramp all this trauma up to a level where there is no avoiding the truth, ‘The more, False Source, I try to get my wholeness from you, the more you will destroy me.’

The pain tells us POINT BLANK this person is a False Source, meaning that we are looking for solution and salvation in the wrong place. Narcissists have no inclination or desire to make us feel healthy, wanted, safe, loved, or secure.

And this may be hard to accept, but I promise you it is the absolute truth, it is not the narcissist’s job to grant us these things. It must come from within. It has to be our own job.

When we haven’t yet accepted this and taken on this essential journey of self, the pain is horrific, because this is the dynamic that we are trapped in, the very basis of co-dependency, trying to control the uncontrollable, which is anything and everyone but ourselves, and ending up more controlled by it and hence more out of control.

Yet, when we are triggered into panic, and stuck in the dependency illusion of a False Source being our Source, it’s compelling, it’s addictive, and we can’t seem to stop ourselves going back in time and time again, even though it’s beating us up terribly.

And, as a result, our fractures get worse. We feel less whole, more powerless, more broken, more traumatised and more helpless. This is the dire and deadly addiction of having assigned a False Source as your Source.

Think of a scale of a diagram. One end we have ‘at one with True Source”. This is known as and feels like, peace, wholeness, confidence, the ability to meet self, self soothe, trust in and align with a Higher Power’s design in life.  And knowing that by managing and aligning self with this Higher Source, and showing up authentically, no matter what other people are or aren’t doing, that you are generating your life experience successfully and abundantly. Additionally, you know that everything in life no matter what it looks like is happening for your higher evolution and greatest joy.

Then on the other end of the scale, we have complete disconnection from True Source and enmeshment to False Sources, which means addictions and powerlessness, generated from being connected with toxic habits and people to try to get relief, love, safety, and wholeness.

It would be like pouring battery acid into your car instead of gasoline and expecting it to drive.

Now, are you starting to understand, and deeply feel cellularly within you, why the pain of this is so horrific?


How To Connect To True Source

Okay so to finish off, False Source means we get the rubbish, we are having the experience of being in a toxic wasteland, losing lifeforce, with nothing good to replenish it, whilst suffering excruciating pain.

True Source means being connected to lifeforce, health, wellbeing, the honouring of self, leaving alone what is not for a match for us and cogenerating exciting and loving possibilities with what and who is.

How do we get there? This is how: drop False Sources like a hot potato, turn inwards and meet our Inner Being, and do the work there on releasing all the traumas that are not allowing us to be whole.

As the wounds clear, the light of Source floods in, and you get to know the truth, organically you are already connected to and working directly with the flourishing and nourishing of your True Self and True Source, its just you had so much stuff in the way you weren’t to know this.

And, the more and more trauma that leaves, the more Source can then flow through you as you. That takes the pain away. It goes.

The pain was formerly there letting you know you were is disintegration, rather than integration. It was showing you that you were dissolving, rather than evolving back to remember Who You Really Are.

Once you return to your True-Self state, then the pain has no need to be the signal anymore, nor does the narcissistic abuse symptoms regarding health, finances or any area of your life.

Repair comes and gains momentum very quickly.

This is Thriving! This is the reality I and so many thousands of people, live in this Community as a result of healing our traumas with NARP.

And to show you exactly how this process works, I’m inviting you to come over to my 16 Day free course, where you will find answers, relief and the steps to release yourself from False Sources and start generating life with True Source instead.

Okay, so if you liked this video, click the like button, and if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe and so you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And please share with your communities, so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

And as always, I’d love to love to answer your comments and questions below.