Narcissists make you sick. Very sick. The reason is because you are being attacked emotionally within the very essence of your Being.
As a result of your traumatised emotions, and the biochemical processes that get set off within you, other aspects of your life will start to break down considerably – including your health.
Sadly, when people get very sick as a result of narcissistic abuse, they don’t know what to do to get well.
In today’s Thriving TV episode, I want to take you through the five ways to restore your health by TRULY healing what is going on within you.
People ask all the time, “Is it possible for somebody to make me get this sick?”
Can their behaviour bring on such things as fibromyalgia, adrenal fatigue and PTSD and even more serious illnesses?
The answer is yes. If you hang out with people who are sick, which narcissists are, you get sick.
Narcissism is like a gaping black hole that gobbles up energy, health and resources from people. It literally sucks the Life Force out of your soul, which means that initially emotionally you become significantly affected and traumatised, and then all aspects of your life, including your health, start to break down substantially.
Today, in this episode, I want to share with you the five powerful ways that you can reverse what has been happening to you and restore your health.
But before we get started, I’d like to thank each and every one of you for subscribing to the Thriver Mission and supporting the fact that we can now heal for real from abuse.
And please, if you like this video, give it a thumbs up and share it with people who it can help.
Okay so let’s get started on today’s very important episode regarding how to restore your health. In Steps 1 to 4, we are going to set up the platform for you to have emotional well-being. Because this is essential if you are going to get well.
And then in Step 5, we’ll look at the additions, that even though they are not a healing solution in and of themselves, will supplement your emotional healing powerfully.
Step Number 1: Detach
It is impossible to get well when you are still ingesting the poison that is making you sick.
The more that you try to get a crazy person to act sanely, the more ridiculous and abusive things get. You can’t create safety and health with a disordered person.
The first essential step is to stop trying to get decency, clemency or compassion. Those commodities are not going to come from a narcissist. The only hope that you have of restoring your health is to pull away and stay away.
For No Contact (or Modified Contact such as in the case of co-parenting) to be effective, you really need to understand what it means.
Narcissistic abuse is a psychic phenomenon. Even if you are implementing No Contact with a narcissist, the abuse lives on inside you like a terrible virus. In fact, after leaving, you will go through what is known as “after-shock”. This is when all of the abuse from the past has a chance to catch up and hit you like a freight train.
Also, you will be feeling the incredibly addictive and withdrawal pulls of the peptide addiction that your body has been receiving regular doses of.
Many people, and I went through this as well, report that after leaving the narcissist the terror and the pain is worse than ever. This is all of the trauma that has been impregnated into your Inner Being rising up to the surface. Until this is addressed you may literally feel like you are losing your mind.
But I promise you that it doesn’t need to be this way!
This is why Step Number 1, pulling away and creating No Contact, is only the beginning of what you really need to do to get well.
Step Number 2: Take Your Focus Off the Narcissist and Onto Yourself
This is a counterintuitive step, yet vital in the recovery of your health.
Narcissists are a law unto themselves and energetically feed off our fear and pain. The more terrified you are, and in deep pain and disbelief about what he or she has done or can do, the more you feed the problem, rather than become the solution.
An important shift is needed here, rather than keeping your focus on, “What has happened to me or what could happen to me via this person in the future”, you need to focus on, “What parts of myself can I turn inwards to with love, and heal, to bring me back to wholeness?”
And … “What parts of myself were assigning and hanging on to this person as my source of love, approval, security and survival, instead of being healed and solid and powerful as these commodities to myself?”
And, “What parts of myself were handing my power away, instead of living aligned to my values, rights and truth?”
This second step is so vital. It is all about a powerful evolutionary shift from staying and remaining a victim powerless to change other people in order to change your own life, into becoming an evolving Master of your life by deeply doing the inner healing work.
I promise you it took me so long to accept this! And I would not be alive and Thriving if I hadn’t made this powerful switch. (This is why I am so passionate about inspiring you to do this as well.)
Immediately, as a result of courageously letting go of trying to monitor, predict, prescribed to, control, fix or change people who we have absolutely no ability to work with, and turning inwards to rescue and release ourselves from internal trauma, there is often a somatically felt immediate relief.
It’s our Inner Being telling us, “Thank goodness you have showed up for me … finally. You are the Being I have been waiting for all along! Those False Sources that you tried to get to substitute in your relationship with me, were never going to work!”
The relief is often felt even just with the intention that you’re going let go of the obsessional thoughts about the narcissist and turn inside to heal yourself. Even before you start doing the inner work!
This is because you are already on the path to wellness.
Step Number 3: Doing the Necessary Inner Work
There is only one way to change your life, and that is to change yourself.
You can’t change other people in order to feel better, do better and live better. The only entity that you can change is yourself. And it’s crazy that we were really never taught this! Our only power is within, and when you do the inner work you will discover that you emerge with a different Inner Love Code.
Which means that you will no longer be attractive to and attracted to people who hurt you.
Then, the glorious thing is, you will be able to be in life as yourself, safe and powerful and authentic and able to say ‘No”, whilst remaining whole when people are not healthy for you. You will be able to move on.
And as a result of your hard-earned inner work your relationships and entire life will change beyond description.
The only way that we ever learn how to do better is to get better, that’s the truth.
At the beginning, we may think that “doing better” simply means ignoring the narcissist and no longer reacting and just trying to get on with our lives.
After substantial abuse, even if you are capable of doing “grey rock”, and not getting hooked in anymore, it is still likely that you will still be suffering abuse symptoms such as PTSD, anxiety and depression and the obsessional thoughts that make it very difficult to have the energy to be happy, free and create a new and great life.
It’s exhausting trying to get healthy, whilst battling the inner trauma that is generating your emotions, thoughts and biological processes.
A much better way is to turn inwards and start doing the releasing work of all of these toxic traumas out from you. That frees up space. It makes way for your health to organically arise from within you. Your natural state is “health” without your internal trauma.
My Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) is a highly successful step-by-step system to get your inner work done. As a Gold member, it also comes supported with your NARP 24/7 community forum access, where you get incredible tips, suggestions and so much help.
You don’t have to do your inner work alone!
Step Number 4: Become Anti-Fear
It is usual after detaching and starting to detox yourself from narcissistic abuse, for the narcissist to try to keep hooking you back in for narcissistic supply.
Also, if you have been connected through marriage, property and children, the narcissist often lashes out, trying to affect you by taking what and who is near and dear to you.
You may be tested with the most horrifying and terrifying triggers that you could imagine.
This I want you to know with all my heart, that the most powerful and fastest way that you can get well and healthy, and escape their assaults, is to become anti-fear.
By doing so, energetically and psychically the narcissist loses their energy feed.
Until you live this phenomenon you cannot possibly know just how powerful this switch is.
Without fear and pain, as a result of you turning inwards and deeply committing to the inner work to purge this person and all of the trauma, as well as any of your limiting and painful and powerless beliefs, this person loses all power over you.
The narcissist will be thwarted. His or her attempts will fall flat. You start connecting up to the resources, people and situations that will fully support you.
The reason being is because you are activating the power of all of this by turning inwards and FULLY supporting yourself.
That’s what the effective and correct inner work is!
That is how you get free from a narcissist.
By continually doing the inner work on all of your fearful triggers that arise, you WILL gain confidence and power in yourself, as well as start to dissolve all of the narcissistic abuse symptoms from within your energy field, because you know that you are safe in your body and safe in life.
And I promise you that you will become more well than you’ve ever been in your entire life.
Just wait and see how life unfolds in all areas, in your favour. The outer follows the inner always!
Step Number 5: Healthy Supplements
On your resurrection path, health and well-being becomes a focus of nourishing yourself and your life.
When we get better, we do better, and we choose better.
These include things such as eating whole foods and drinking filtered water. Letting go of the addictions and self-medications that we used to turn to so as to avoid our trauma, but yet were hurting us even more.
Hanging out with more positive and much less toxic people.
Engaging in regular healing, healthy time out and moving your body in ways that generate well-being and confidence.
Staying away from victimised forums and communities where the focus is all about bashing the narcissist, and there is nothing about healing yourself.
Laying boundaries and saying “no” to people and situations that are no longer healthy for you, and being prepared to honour yourself and your values and rights, regardless of what other people are doing.
All of these things, in combination with your continual deep inner work to release yourself from trauma and reprogram yourself from the inside out, create a formidable plan to getting well and recovering from narcissistic abuse.
In record time and in the most powerful of ways.
So, I hope that this episode has helped give you a clear roadmap of the five ways to improve your health after narcissistic abuse.
If you know it’s your time to start moving into these processes, then come with me by clicking this link.
And as always, I look forward to answering your comments and your questions below.