One of the scariest things about narcissists is that you have NO idea what he or she will do next.
When cracks have appeared in your relationship, or you have separated, then abuse from a narcissist can REALLY heat up.
You may have already experienced the cruel, terrible acts that are designed to hurt you deep within your soul, life and emotions, and threaten everything that you love.
In today’s Thriver TV episode, I am going to help you understand the TRUE way you can predict a narcissist, as well as finally keep yourself SAFE from one.
I know it can be terrifying to wonder what the narcissist will do next.
You may be going through this right now.
People all the time want to know: ‘Will he do this?’, ‘Is she likely to do that?’ and ‘Because this happened, does it mean this will happen?’
Narcissists can be very predictable, even though we believe they are unpredictable.
We know there are certain behaviours that they are really prone to do.
Today, I am going to tell you what it is that you can do, so that you will get free of every fear of what the narcissist will do next.
In fact, the information I am sharing with you, in this video, will get you to the point where you say ‘who cares’. And when you get to this point … you’ll have nothing to fear.
Okay, before we get started, thank you everyone who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.
Alright, let’s get started on today’s episode!
What IS the Narcissist Going to Do Next?
It is when we try to work out what narcissists are going to do next by observing them, looking them up on social media, asking people about them, and watching out for them, that we can go SO wrong!
Likewise, it is Wrongtown even just obsessing about what has happened and wracking our brains about what could happen next.
Because the answer is NOT to be found in ANY of these places.
What do narcissists ALWAYS do?
They do THE thing we fear is going to hurt US the most.
You may think this is crazy, yet I promise you, from the ten plus years that I have been working with people every day to overcome narcissistic abuse, as well as deeply investigating my own narcissistically abusive relationships, I KNOW that what I just said is the absolute truth.
Narcissists don’t have their own Identity – they are a False Self.
When relationships with narcissists crack, they try to keep punishing you for not appeasing their False Self. They also want to retain you for narcissistic supply, hoping to affect you to enforce their own significance.
Therefore, the greatest insult to a narcissist is for you to not grant them any energy or attention whatsoever, and to move on with your life.
So, to combat this, the narcissist is going to go for your ‘gap’. Meaning what hurts and what will get you emotionally triggered, reacting and granting him or her narcissistic supply again.
What You Find ‘In There’
To take your power back and get impervious to what the narcissist will do next, step number one is to stop observing and researching him or her (or narcissism in general) to try to work out WHAT will happen.
Instead – turn inwards to observe and research yourself.
I promise you the answer is in there.
But before you start doing this inner work, I want to convince you a little more about why this is necessary.
Think about your life with the narcissist and what this person triggers off within you.
Is it not the things that have been in repeat in your life that are painful for you in this relationship with the narcissist?
Things like blaming you for issues; telling you that you are defective, no good or selfish; smearing you; not trusting in and believing you; not recognising you or loving you for who you are; controlling and being possessive of you; or treating you like you are invisible.
Because these are likely to have been your ‘normal’ struggles, and it is not until you go within that you may realise that these things have been in repeat. These unhealed wounds may have been painfully evident in childhood and then continued on throughout your adult relationships.
My unhealed wounds were about being controlled, distrusted, betrayed and engulfed by people. I also had terrible terrors of abandonment and not being able to survive on my own without a man.
All of these patterns were prevalent and hugely triggered and brought to life in my narcissistic relationships.
What did the narcissists in my life do next, when things went south?
They betrayed me with smearing and abandonment, and they attacked my security. ALL of my biggest fears!
What happened before my Thriver Recovery, both times, when these fears were triggered? I went into a frenzy of terror, dread, heartbreak, righteousness or rage. I obsessed, retaliated, handed power over and each time got crushed even further by them.
Even when the narcissists didn’t continue the crushing, the chip had been planted inside me; I crushed myself.
Yet, the same narcissists did different things with different people, according to each person’s own fears – I promise you this is the truth.
You Can’t Change Them, You Can Only Change Yourself
The next way we can go straight into Wrongtown is by thinking ‘Okay, now that I know the narcissist does what I fear, I’m going to try to stop the narcissist doing that.’
Maybe if I call the narcissist out, he’ll stop.
Maybe if I appeal to her, she will cease doing this.
Maybe I should try to make a deal…
Or threaten back with something…
Or try to inform others so that the narcissist is exposed and held accountable.
All of these equal ‘how to lose’. In fact, it will only energise what you fear and make it more likely to happen to you.
Be honest, you have already tried some, if not all, of these things (plus more). You know it doesn’t help matters.
This I want you to know with all of my heart: the experience of narcissistic abuse is an absolute energetic phenomenon, which is teaching you that you and your fears are front and centre with this person.
I’ll put it to you simply.
What you fear is what the narcissist will smash you with.
It is when you conquer YOUR FEAR, and not the narcissist, that the experience of narcissistic abuse and the narcissist can and will exit your life.
I promise you, relief and freedom happened in my life, and have happened for Thriver after Thriver in this community, once we had done the inner work to become Anti-Fear.
What does Anti-Fear mean?
It means having no emotional charge of fear on the previous fearful topic, regardless of what the narcissist is or isn’t doing.
How Is It Possible to Become Anti-Fear?
You may think it is madness to try to become fearless about something that is being triggered right NOW by the narcissist’s obscene behaviour – or the threat of him or her doing it in the future.
You may also believe it is IMPOSSIBLE.
Yes, it is impossible if you keep your focus on the narcissist.
Yet, it is TOTALLY possible when you accept that the INNER GAME is the only one where you can have true power in these situations.
Generally, when people have exhausted every other possibility, and have nothing to lose, they start to apply the Inner Game tactic and then realise how powerfully it works.
How is the Inner Game played?
By taking all focus off the narcissist and going inwards to the traumas within, which are fearful and triggered. By doing the deep healing on these traumas and their origins, so they simply don’t exist anymore.
Like Gina, who was previously terrorised and traumatised by her ex Greg, who was stalking her. By doing the Quantum inner work on the terror of being ambushed and hunted and powerless, that had existed long before Grant, Gina FINALLY felt completely fearless out in life – regardless of what the hell Grant tried to do.
Grant predictably approached her again. She walked straight past him without any feeling whatsoever other than the slight annoyance of ‘Why waste my time?’
Gina shrugged off any residual emotions within minutes. She had graduated. He never approached or attempted contacting her again.
Then there was Katherine. Andrew was belting her with his solicitor and threatening to take the house and full custody of the children. Katherine was so paralysed with fear she could barely eat or sleep.
Katherine turned within to do the work on her terrors of losing her children and her home, and emerged feeling solid and calm on the inside. She stood down her solicitor, sought another one, and felt safe and inspired.
Within three months Katherine was awarded 70 per cent of her property settlement and the majority of shared custody.
Katherine simply kept working on her fears, presenting evidence that her highly motivated lawyer asked her for, and showing up calmly and clearly. The entire time she was willing to accept whatever the outcome was.
In court she had no pangs of fear or anxiety. The narcissist unravelled for all to see, and was reprimanded by the judge.
Then there was Stewart, who was being terrorised by Kristy his ex-wife. She took him back to court every few years – always after more money. The resentment he felt about this was so heavy that he felt crippled to try to meet anyone else or pursue any career advancement.
When Stewart took his focus off resenting Kristy and turned it inwards to heal himself, he found and released many traumas regarding other people using him for their own agendas and him never being allowed to be happy.
After shifting out all of these traumas, he stopped hurting and started dealing with his life. He had the inspiration to go forth and just be himself, regardless of what Kristy would decide to do.
He got a promotion and a girlfriend. He stopped thinking about the repercussions with Kristy.
After this, Kristy never took him to court again. And, as it turned out, she met a new partner and lost all urge to do so.
Are these miraculous turnarounds a coincidence?
If they are, then the thousands of shifts I’ve seen in the past ten plus years are too!
Of course they are not! It’s Quantum Law – so within, so without.
It’s Counter-Intuitive, But It’s the Only Way
Something inside of you may be resonating with KNOWING what I am saying is the truth. Your cells have the ability to feel and know when something is!
Or maybe you are so exhausted and emptied out with trying everything else to get out of the fear and pain of narcissistic abuse, that you would be willing to bang two fishes over your head if you thought it would help!
I know it is terrifying to take your focus off the narcissist and put it fully into healing the triggered parts of yourself.
I know it feels like the LAST thing you should be doing.
Yet, I promise you that when you start doing it, you will notice the fear drop away and something else open up.
Then you will see the real life shifts in your life that happen as a result.
And then you will KNOW 100 percent that what I am explaining here to you is the truth – the only truth that was ever going to stop this horror and grant you your true, abuse-free, new life.
This you need to be very clear about – reaching this state is not a logical job.
It’s an inside job – which is not logically achieved.
You can’t think your way into this; you need to heal your way to it.
So if you just know now this is the way, or two fishes seems like an option, it is perfect timing for you…
Because I have recently opened up my next Masterclass, which is a profound healing event that when last held was attended by thousands of people from over 100 different countries. Both during and after the event, we received hundreds of messages and emails saying that, humbly, the event was truly phenomenal.
And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.
As always I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.