Being smeared by a narcissist can be traumatising.
It is devastating to have someone who you wanted to love and trust, think so poorly of you and make terrible accusations against you.
Matters are even worse when the narcissist’s lies have caused horrible fallout with those you love and care about, and you may even have had to defend yourself against authorities.
You could be completely forgiven for almost going insane.
In today’s Thriver TV episode, you will learn how to deal with the narcissist’s smear campaigns, so that you can survive them, emerge intact, and even take your power back to levels far beyond the ones you’ve experienced even before being smeared.
Being smeared by a narcissist is beyond painful for many reasons. A narcissist’s opinion is always going to be skewered and cruel. When the cracks have appeared, or at the end of the relationship regardless of everything you have tried, given or sacrificed and suffered, none of it will prove to be good enough.
You will be demonised, pure and simple.
Is there anything more painful than somebody you loved turning on you and treating you like the enemy?
Maybe only that now, other people in your life such as family and friends, also believe that you are a monster.
How do you survive this? How do you retain your sanity? How do you not take on these brutal criticisms and smearing, as a possibility that you are the bad person you are being made out to be? How do you not feel intense shame and pain?
Today we can go through this, all of those questions plus more so that I can help you learn how to deal with the narcissist’s smear campaigns without losing your sanity. And, also so that you can regain your life and make it bigger and better than ever before.
But before we get started I’d like to thank each and every one of you who have subscribed to my channel for supporting the Thriver Mission, and I’d like to remind you that if you haven’t yet done so please do. And, if you enjoy this video, please make sure that you give it a thumbs up.
Okay so let’s start peeling this back and working out what is really going on.
Bringing Our Greatest Fears To Life
Today I want to bring to you, right from the get-go, a radical truth about narcissistic abuse that will change everything for you.
The narcissist at the deepest level of Quantum Truth is helping you to awaken, and to resurrect a necessary part of yourself.
Many of those who’ve been narcissistically abused, have for most, if not all of our life, suffered the susceptibility of worrying about what other people think about us.
First of all, that starts with the people who we want to love us. We are mortified, horrified and heartbroken if they think badly of us. The truth is we have invested more emotional energy into what these people think of us than what we think of ourselves.
We possibly never realised that we were seeking love and approval through these people’s actions and behaviours towards us. Of course, this was our normal because up until Thriver recovery, we may not have realised that to come home to feeling safe, loved and whole in our own body is the work that we must do between us and ourselves.
Narcissists smash us with the words, actions, and behaviours that create the feedback that we are unlovable, and not worth caring for. If we are not solid enough inside, knowing our own lovability, worth and value, then we believe them. We believe our identity and maybe our entire life depends on what this person does or doesn’t think about us.
So we fight to change their minds. We try to justify, explain, improve and earn our worth and lovability from them.
This is the perfect scenario for a narcissist because they keep us attached to them whilst gaining the release of their own inner torment onto us, as well as masses of narcissistic supply – attention that offers them the significance to know that they exist.
Being Unaffected By Smearing
It’s so important to know that there are people who have been connected with a narcissist, and yet don’t react when a narcissist starts discrediting them. The reason they don’t react is because they are solid on the inside; they know who they are. They know that they are lovable and worthy and valuable.
Even if they had hopes that this person could be loving or helpful in their life, they know that their own inner identity in no way depends on that being the case. Because this abusive person doesn’t match the relationship of self that they have within themselves, it’s easy for them to disconnect and walk away.
In short, they don’t agree with this person’s version of them and in no way need to change it either.
Here is the next thing I have seen with these people – when the narcissist tries to smear them and discredit them, the person doesn’t react and doesn’t try to disprove the narcissist’s accusations. If there is any legal necessity, they simply provide the information calmly, clearly and solidly without having any terror being ignited within them about being persecuted. This is when the narcissist’s attempts at destroying the person’s credibility, support systems or life, falls entirely to pieces.
Extremely quickly in fact.
Many of us were not initially able to be like this. Because this is not the case for people who have fractures in their inner identity, meaning that they don’t know their own worth and value. These are the people who react and get thrown into a terrible terror of what other people think.
This is exactly the person I used to be. I was incredible fuel for a narcissist’s smear campaign. I was horrified about what people might think of me, and terrified about people turning away from me or turning against me. I even had feelings in my body that were so extreme, that I felt that if people thought I was a bad person, I would be annihilated.
I promise you this, when we wake up to what’s really going on, we know that the solution will never be about trying to do anything ‘out there’ to change the fact that you are being smeared, because that’s not where the problem is.
The real problem is that the narcissist is feeding off your terrors of persecution, which are fanning the flames of the smear campaign that the narcissist is using against you, and the smear campaign is not going to stop until you eliminate the fuel.
The fuel is the fearful beliefs that you have been carrying inside of you as a part of the human trauma experience.
It’s a very rare individual who has been abused by a narcissist who isn’t carrying inner persecution programs. In fact, I’m not sure that I’ve ever met any of these people.
Persecution programs go like this, ‘if people don’t think I am a good person, and they think that I’ve done the wrong thing, then they will … leave me, exile me, hurt me, attack me, or even annihilate me.’
How do you know if you have persecution programs inside of you? The answer is simple, say those statements to yourself and listen to how your Inner Being responds. If you feel anxiety, shortening of breath, a dense feeling of dread, or even a white-hot terror, then you are carrying inner subconscious persecution programs.
This makes you a target for narcissists to mess with you. This means that they can project their disordered self and their behaviour all over you, turn the tables, and blame you for everything they do and keep you hooked into them while you are fighting for truth and sanity.
How do you get out of this terrorising, traumatising toxic web? There is only one way out – to turn inwards and find and release your persecution programs from within yourself.
When you do that you will be astounded at the results. The first thing you will discover is that you have less emotional charge on what the narcissist thinks about you, and even what others are saying about you.
Quite literally you won’t care.
And this is when you will anchor deeply into the true emancipation on this topic, which is ‘what other people think about me is none of my business. What I think about me is my business.’
You will see that the more you know who you are at a deep inner cellular knowing (which becomes completely organic without your effort when you release the trauma within you) that other people automatically follow. Those who don’t have the resources to agree with your version of Self, simply melt out of your experience, and the people who do will come back to you.
Like so many others, my persecution programs were horrific and I know that if I hadn’t done the inner Quantum work to completely eliminate them, I would still be in the living hell that I was stuck in with my persecution programs.
You see, even before the narcissist, I used to have the weird and awful experience of being accused of things that I would never even consider doing. It was just that, with the narcissist, it was brought to a level that was so severe that I had no idea how I was going to survive it. And I wouldn’t have survived it if I didn’t turn inwards and finally face the terrors that I had always carried inside of me.
The freedom from all of this is life changing and there is certainly no way that I could put myself out there on the world stage, in the way I do, if I was still carrying persecution programs.
Losing The Insanity and Gaining Your True Self
The thing about narcissistic abuse recovery is we think that by doing the inner work we are only going to lose the pain of the insanity and the torment that we’ve been suffering.
But Thriver recovery is so much more than that. What is really happening here is that we are losing our old self which isn’t effective in relation to who we want to be and what we really want to achieve.
After working through Thriver recovery you will experience moving into your new and True Self, who is the self you were always intended to be.
Can you imagine the freedom and power you will step into when you are no longer worried about what anybody thinks of you?
Can you imagine how it feels to be in your body walking this planet as your True Self?
Can you feel what it would be like to appear in front of anyone at all with nothing to prove or hide, simply being you, powerfully and freely?
These are only some of the powerhouse evolution graduations we receive by cleaning up all of our insecurities and the deep terrors that narcissists target and smash up to the surface for us. And I say ‘for us’ because until they reach critical mass we were able to continue on without having to address these inner traumas.
I know the inner work seems daunting, perhaps a waste of time and something that we would rather not do, however, if you want your life to be the life that you were born to live, there really isn’t a choice. The crazy thing is, once we start doing the inner work, the results are so incredible that it becomes addictive and extremely pleasurable to do.
If you are suffering smear campaigns, my heart goes out to you in spades, because I know exactly how traumatising this is. This is why I am so committed to reaching out to you so that you can find out how to quickly turn this all around, and take your life, your sanity and your future back in ways that will thrill and astound you.
Also, if you want to see more of my episodes please make sure that you subscribe to my channel, so that you are notified every time I release a new video.
And, I am so excited because my Australian tour starts next week. There are still some limited tickets left. You can secure yours by clicking this link melanietoniaevans.com/oztour
And, as always, I’m looking forward to answering your comments and your questions below.