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Protecting Yourself from Covert Narcissism: What Science Says



00:00 How to Protect Yourself from the Trap of Covert Narcissism: The Science Might Surprise You!
00:25 Brief Overview of Covert vs Overt Narcissism
02:25 New Research on how Covert (Introverted) Narcissists Act in Relationships
06:25 Extraverted (Overt) Narcissism and the Dark Tetrad
08:40 Recognize “Apparent” Vulnerability (Emotionality)!

Covert narcissism and covert narcissists are particularly confusing for survivors because the *appear* to be vulnerable, even though they’re not. And that can be especially troublesome for echoists, as I discussed in the previous video, who may see such moments of apparent vulnerability as a bid for the very caretaking they tend to be good at.

Here I review the most recent hot-off-the-presses research on the difference between overt (extraverted) and covert (introverted) narcissism, with a special focus on the unique dangers each of them presents. Then I give you a way to see way a head of time any trouble the relationship might bring into your life.

For more on echoism, see:
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201810/unloved-daughters-why-the-term-echoism-may-help-you-heal

blogs.psychcentral.com/knotted/2018/11/when-youre-not-narcissistic-enough-meet-the-echoist/
tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/mby3pv/echoists-are-basically-the-opposite-of-narcissists?fbclid=IwAR0czRJEb30wRRq-0sXhKWc2u1aMgOgzf5I5CRKEWAXG-oU6PvMRKq8wLM4

AMAZON: www.amazon.com/dp/0062348116/keywords=psychology%20books?tag=imprintweb-20
ITUNES/APPLE: books.apple.com/br/book/rethinking-narcissism/id929341420?l=en
BARNES & NOBLE: www.barnesandnoble.com/noresults/9780062348104
INDIEBOUND: www.indiebound.org/book/9780062348111
BOOKS-A-MILLION: www.booksamillion.com/p/Rethinking-Narcissism/Craig-Malkin/9780062348111?id=8510117162309
HARPERCOLLINS: www.harpercollins.com/products/rethinking-narcissism-dr-craig-malkin?variant=32132801200162

www.drcraigmalkin.com

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Understanding Covert Narcissism: Real Emotion vs Emotionality



00:00 Understanding Covert Narcissism: Real Emotion vs Emotionality
01:49 Emotionality in Covert Narcissism
02:50 A Simple Way to Recognize Emotionality
04:00 Examples of Emotionality
05:00 Do This When You See Emotionality

Covert narcissism, which as I explain in Rethinking Narcissism and in my talks, is simply introverted narcissism. Survivors, especially echoists, who often instinctively rely on caretaking behaviors in their relationships, often confuse the apparent vulnerability or “emotionality” of introverted narcissists with emotion. In previous videos I’ve described this but many of you still had questions about how to tell the difference. Here, I tell you exactly how real emotions and emotionality can be easily distinguished from one another–and what to do to avoid being pulled into old habits when you see inauthentic emotion.

Want more help with echoism? As to join my private support group. www.facebook.com/groups/echoism/

for more on echoism, see:
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201810/unloved-daughters-why-the-term-echoism-may-help-you-heal

blogs.psychcentral.com/knotted/2018/11/when-youre-not-narcissistic-enough-meet-the-echoist/
tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/mby3pv/echoists-are-basically-the-opposite-of-narcissists?fbclid=IwAR0czRJEb30wRRq-0sXhKWc2u1aMgOgzf5I5CRKEWAXG-oU6PvMRKq8wLM4

AMAZON: www.amazon.com/dp/0062348116/keywords=psychology%20books?tag=imprintweb-20
ITUNES/APPLE: books.apple.com/br/book/rethinking-narcissism/id929341420?l=en
BARNES & NOBLE: www.barnesandnoble.com/noresults/9780062348104
INDIEBOUND: www.indiebound.org/book/9780062348111
BOOKS-A-MILLION: www.booksamillion.com/p/Rethinking-Narcissism/Craig-Malkin/9780062348111?id=8510117162309
HARPERCOLLINS: www.harpercollins.com/products/rethinking-narcissism-dr-craig-malkin?variant=32132801200162

www.drcraigmalkin.com

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The Simplest Way to Reduce Anxiety & Trauma Symptoms: Part 3



0:00 The Simplest Way to Reduce Anxiety & Trauma Symptoms
1:38 Grounding defined–and Why it helps!
10:15 Some Variations of Grounding

(Don’t forget to watch the first video in this series!) NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT!

www.drcraigmalkin.com/the-book

One of the most powerful tools in battling anxiety and posttraumatic stress disorder, drawn straight from science, is the knowledge of how trauma symptoms operate in our nervous system.

Here, in a three -part video, you’ll learn why PTSD develops, and how our bodies already have a built-in capacity to overcome it.

Posttraumatic stress disorder falls into 4 clusters of symptoms:

Reexperiencing (intrusion), which includes nightmares, flashbacks, intrusive memories, and even body memories (physical feelings associated with past trauma that occur in the present.)

Hyperarousal, which includes intense anxiety and feeling chronically or intermittently “keyed up or on edge,” often presenting as irritability and/or strong startle responses or jumpiness.

Avoidance of thoughts feelings and reminders of the traumatic experience, which often includes emotional “numbing”

Changes in mood and thinking, especially feelings of depression and an impulse to isolate (this latter cluster, not mentioned in my video, has only recently been added in the DSM V) .

The key to reducing any symptom of PTSD–or anxiety , itself, for that matter–is to remember the lesson from over half a century of research: *you can’t be relaxed and anxious at the same time* The fancy name for this well established phenomenon is “reciprocal inhibition.”

For some time now, we’ve known that there are two sides to the nervous system: the sympathetic (flight or flight) and parasympathetic (relaxation response). When one side of the nervous system switches on, the other begins switching off (or more accurately, as one becomes more active, the other becomes less active.)

This is far more than a fun research fact There’s tremendous power in this knowledge because *all the symptoms of PTSD ride on top of a fight or flight state.* All of them.

Without the sympathetic nervous system in full drive, we can’t have intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, jumpiness, or avoidance (which is s way of reducing anxiety in the short term). We have no need to isolate or shut down. We’re less likely to fly off the handle. Not because we’ve convinced ourselves we’re safe, but because our nervous system is no longer acting as though we’re always in a life and death situation.

In other words, the push-pull of these two sides of our nervous system means we have the capacity to self-manage trauma and anxiety symptoms; the more time we spend practicing known methods of activating a parasympathetic reaction–mediation, progressive muscle relaxation. yoga, diaphragmatic breathing, aerobic exercise (which trigger a calmness afterwards)–the more trauma symptoms begin to lose their hold on us. We remember the feeling of peace, more and more–and so does our nervous system. I call this lowering your idle.

Picture the idle on a car. It can be set higher or lower, depending on how the engine is tuned. If it starts lower, it can’t redline (over rev or overheat) as easily or quickly.

The same is true of our nervous system. Greater familiarity with (and time in) a parasympathetic state makes us less likely to “red line” (experience fight or flight spikes) because our sympathetic nervous system arousal is already at a lower state. And that means fewer trauma symptoms.

In this followup video, I demonstrate a simple combination of mindful breathing and grounding to practice activating a parasympathetic response while feeling *safely* present, which is key to reducing trauma symptoms without triggering dissociation.

AMAZON: www.amazon.com/dp/0062348116/keywords=psychology%20books?tag=imprintweb-20
ITUNES/APPLE: books.apple.com/br/book/rethinking-narcissism/id929341420?l=en
BARNES & NOBLE: www.barnesandnoble.com/noresults/9780062348104
INDIEBOUND: www.indiebound.org/book/9780062348111
BOOKS-A-MILLION: www.booksamillion.com/p/Rethinking-Narcissism/Craig-Malkin/9780062348111?id=8510117162309
HARPERCOLLINS: www.harpercollins.com/products/rethinking-narcissism-dr-craig-malkin?variant=32132801200162

www.drcraigmalkin.com

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