The One Sign of Pathological Narcissism You’ve Never Heard Before
Narcissism seems to be born of neglect and abuse, both of which are notorious for creating an insecure attachment style (for more on attachment, see here www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/romance-redux/201211/five-ways-overcome-feelings-neediness and here www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/romance-redux/201206/are-secure-relationships-the-key-exciting-life).
But the very fact that narcissists, for all their posturing, are deeply insecure, also gives us an easy way to spot them. Insecurely attached people can’t talk coherently about their family and childhood; their early memories are confused, contradictory, and riddled with gaps. Narcissists often give themselves away precisely because their childhood story makes no sense, and the most common myth they carry around is the perfect family story. If your date sings their praises for their exalted family but the reasons for their panegyric seem vague or discursive, look out. The devil is in the details, as they say — and very likely, that’s why you’re not hearing them.
Production notes ;-): I’m living in temporary housing with my family while we get things fixed up after black mold/renovations, and it’s been challenging for lots of reasons to make videos (the fact that quiet moments have become exceedingly rare might top the list). I shot this one a few months ago but struggled to find a surface where I wasn’t looking down at my laptop. There aren’t many convenient well lit places to set up. I wasn’t happy with the angle but I’ve never found time since to reshoot, so here you go. I also experimented with just using Bluetooth mic since, despite the fact that I’ve always used a studio mic (samsung) I get occasional complaints about the audio level. Let’s see if this is better.
BARNES & NOBLE: www.barnesandnoble.com/noresults/9780062348104